What attracts you?

[Evo]

They say "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". I am curious as to what attracts you to another person (I would say of the opposite sex, but that doesn't apply to everyone so...)

Let's break it down farther. What "initially" attracts you to someone?
Does this initial attraction tend to wear off quickly? If so, what qualities do you find are more attractive in the long run?

What is most important to you in a potential mate? If it is a combination, rank them in order of importance to you.

1) physical beauty

2) intelligence

3) personality

4) other - please specify

Do you find that your initial attractions generally do not work out? If so, why do you think that is?

Please feel free to add to, or modify this.

[Hurkyl]

How initially is initially? Physical beauty is, of course, the dominating factor if I have no exposure to a girl's personality/intelligence/sense of humor/whatever.

However, physical beauty fades quickly in importance after the first few moments of interaction I have with a person. I've been friends with girls that others have told me were very hot, but I never even noticed!

To be honest, I'm not sure what really attracts me; I'm very picky, and it's rare for me to encounter a girl to whom I have any sort of real attraction.

[Evo]

Hurkyl, good point, I guess realistically, it's going to be a "physical" initial attraction, in "real" life. I can't honestly say I ever saw a guy across a room and said to myself "wow, he has a great sense of humor".

So let's say "initially" starts 10 minutes after you've started talking to the person. I've met many men that at first glance I considered "attractive" but as soon as they opened their mouths, I couldn't wait to get away from them.

On the other hand, I found myself becoming very attracted to men that at first glance I was not interested in, but were fascinating to talk to.

[Zero]

I think you kids need less computer time and more outside the house time...seriously.

[Tsu]

Well, let's see...
Evo has an avg. of 2.02 posts per day.
Hurkyl has 5.24.
I, myself, am running a little over one post per day on average.
And Zero has... [o)] ...9.58!!!
[:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D]

Zero. You crack me up. [6)] [:D]

[Evo]

I guess I do need to play outside more...

[chroot]

Beyond the obvious (physical attraction), I look for three things:

1) intelligence

2) open-mindedness

3) passion (about anything)

- Warren

[Zero]

Originally posted by Tsunami
Well, let's see...
Evo has an avg. of 2.02 posts per day.
Hurkyl has 5.24.
I, myself, am running a little over one post per day on average.
And Zero has... [o)] ...9.58!!!
[:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D] [:D]

Zero. You crack me up. [6)] [:D] No, really...I sleep three hours a night...for the rest of you, get some sleep, get out and date someone already!

[Evo]

Three hours a night??? No wonder you appear to have superhuman abilities.

BTW, I am too old to date (at my age I believe it's called charity). I am asking the questions for a friend of mine.

[Zero]

There's no such thing as too old...

Mostly, I care about a woman's brain...an old mentor-type guy told me to look for a woman you want to talk to, after the physical stuff is over.

[Evo]

Nah, too old. I guess you didn't see where I compared you to someone I once went out with that was a leader of the SDS (students for a democratic society), he was VP back in '65 after Tom Hayden took a less direct role. (I meant that as a compliment to your ascerbic wit & political savvy.) Of course he was MUCH older than me, but it still dates me.

*edit* I met him in the 70's, and I was a child..., Ok, sheesh, I'm not THAT old...

[Monique]

Physical beauty, nah, rather there are certain element that make a person attractive, which doesn't really have anything to do with physical beauty. Dark hair, happy eyes, small chin, holes in cheeks.

Important I find the way a person carries himself. Style of clothes, hairdo, taken care of image. Men in suit are *hot* [8)] [:D]

Then ofcourse comes the inside: respect, interests, goals, philosophy. I don't really care what a person looks like once the personality comes through, well, actually looking taken care of is always important..

Like Hurkyl, I'm very picky :)

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Monique
(SNIP) Physical beauty, nah, rather there are certain element that make a person attractive, which doesn't really have anything to do with physical beauty. Dark hair, happy eyes, small chin, holes in cheeks. (SNoP) HUH?? according to this *link* (http://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?threadid=13164)...


Hummm.....( [a)] )

[Monique]

Ain't he got dark hair and a small chin? I also commented that I like the character because of the dry sense of humor.. a total package!! [:))] AND he is smart AND he wairs suits.

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Monique
Ain't he got dark hair and a small chin? I also commented that I like the character because of the dry sense of humor.. a total package!! [:))] AND he is smart AND he wairs suits. Is that his "Actor Character" or his "real character"?

(P.S. Yes I know, just sorta having fun [6)])

[Monique]

I solely like him because of Fox Mulder [:))] I've always had a crush on him from the first episode that I watched at some guestfamily's house in London :) I guess he (fox) has become my role model of what men should be like [6)] [8)]

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Monique
(SNIP) I guess he (fox) has become my role model of what men should be like (SNoP) You don't mean married, do you? cause he is....[6)]

[Monique]

We are talking about mulder and not duchovny here :)

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Monique
We are talking about mulder and not duchovny here :) O.K. and ='s I don't know! [8)] [g)]

[Monique]

fox mulder (character) vs david duchnovny (actor) [t)]

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Knew that...."I Don't know" means (='s) "no more conversation" as the topic has "left the building"....

[Monique]

I get this distinct feeling we are talking past eachother [8)] ='s [?] well, all fine with me [:D]

[Monique]

Oh, wait:

='s

is that a smily??

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Monique
Oh, wait: ='s is that a smily?? No it is typiconograhic for "equals"

[Monique]

[:(] see? [6)] MEN! .. who understands them ..

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Monique
[:(] see? [6)] MEN! .. who understands them .. Hummm anyone who can read...Ooops did I say that out loud? [6)]

[chroot]

I didn't understand it either, and I have a penis.

- Warren

[Tsu]

I must admit I have a hard time following MOST of Mr. Parson's posts. Our synapse circuits are just not in sync. (MRP - I love ya, man, but you loose even me with all your jumping around from thought to thought - and I thought I was the bad one about that...[:D])

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by chroot
I didn't understand it either, and I have a penis. ([o)])

- Warren Well, that explains everything! [6)] [6)] [6)]

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Tsunami
I must admit I have a hard time following MOST of Mr. Parson's posts. Our synapse circuits are just not in sync. (MRP - I love ya, man, but you loose even me with all your jumping around from thought to thought - and I thought I was the bad one about that...[:D]) Why Thank you, nicest thing I've heard 'Bout myself in quite a while, guess that Enigma thingy is still working for me!

WhoooHoooo?

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Well, that explains everything! [6)] [6)] [6)]
ROTFLMAO!!! [:D] [:D]

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Why Thank you, nicest thing I've heard 'Bout myself in quite a while, guess that Enigma thingy is still working for me!

WhoooHoooo?
[:D] [:D] (i just KNOW i'm gonna be sorry for this...)

ALRIGHT! I'LL BITE! WHAT "Enigma thingy". (I just love the word 'thingy'[:D]).

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Tsunami
[:D] [:D] (i just KNOW i'm gonna be sorry for this...)
ALRIGHT! I'LL BITE! WHAT "Enigma thingy". (I just love the word 'thingy'[:D]). It was, briefly, my 'title' "Well know Enigma" as having been replaced with the "One Man Thunk Tank" Thingy [8)] [:)] [6)] [;)] [a)] [:))] who?

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
It was, briefly, my 'title' "Well know Enigma" as having been replaced with the "One Man Thunk Tank" Thingy [8)] [:)] [6)] [;)] [a)] [:))] who?
uh...OK!!![8)] [:D]

[Bubonic Plague]

Sassy and fiesty women turn me on anytime, anyday. [6)]

[Hurkyl]

Thinking about it, I'm not sure how much intelligence matters either; true, every girl I've fallen for has been fairly bright, but personality (including sense of humor) has always been the primary reason.

[Andy]

I dont know what i look for in a girl, but a good personality would probably be number one. Obviously looks are the first thing I notice but once i have talked to a girl for abit her looks arent so important.

Dont know how to describe it but the feeling i get when i am alone with my girlfriend is just fantastic.

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Andy
(SNIP) Dont know how to describe *Snicker*Snicker* try using "words" Andy it but the feeling i get when i am alone with my girlfriend is just fantastic. (SNoP) Why only when you are alone?

[Andy]

I was thinking of how to describe it in words, but couldnt.

And because being alone with her just makes me feel so damn good, you must know what i mean.

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Andy
(SNIP) And because being alone with her just makes me feel so damn good, you must know what i mean. (SNoP) Actually, that comment, just split the meaning(s)

[Andy]

and why's that?

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Andy
and why's that? "Being alone with..." In the park? in bed? on the couch, watching TV? "Feel so good" physically? Sexually? Emotionally? Three way splits....

[Andy]

Thanks for clarifying what you meant, and doesnt matter where i am with her, could be laid in bed chatting or sat down on the couch watching a film, and it makes me feel good emotionally.

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Andy
Thanks for clarifying what you meant, and doesnt matter where i am with her, could be laid in bed chatting or sat down on the couch watching a film, and it makes me feel good emotionally.
"Thanks for clarifying what you meant"....

[Andy]

Your welcome, Clarity is not my strong point.

[jimmy p]

I have to agree with Andy. My being with my ex-girlfriend (when she still was my girlfriend) was the best feeling in the world, and i cant describe why. I only know that i miss whatever it is that made me feel damn good...maybe it was having a heart... [*(] [b(] [:((]

[Monique]

awh, little tin-man [:(] everyone seems to be in the same ship though..

[jimmy p]

.....tin man...lol...cute.

so dorothy, where are your red shoes? and Toto? What is the name of this ship? "The boat of despair?" lol ...now im just getting stupid.

[Evo]

Well, one explanation from a program I saw on the discovery channel several years ago explained it scientifically. Supposedly, the "feeling" is the chemical soup that your brain is flooded with when you are "in love", "first attraction" to a person, etc... The effects last about 6 months at which time, if there is a deeper attraction will be replaced with other chemicals, the same ones that create the "mother/child bond". Oxytocin?

Well, I couldn't find the reference to the program I saw, but found this. http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/index.shtml

*edit* to add link

[Andy]

Chemicals yea, that sounds good enough.

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Andy
Chemicals yea, that sounds good enough. So then, when you are alone with your girlfriend you feel "good chemicals" right? (or is that Chemistry [6)] hee [6)] hee!)