Little help with asking people out

[St. Aegis]

HI,
So I noticed that these here forums are pretty big on the romance thing.......
So although I posted earlier, I just wanted to see if anyone else would be willing to help me.
Here is the scenario.
I like this girl at school, I would say that she is fairly pretty. I updated her picture on this link
http://m.flickr.com/photo.gne?id=2900130103&
Anyways, so I know that I like her, but I have no idea if she likes me back. Chances are, if she does, I would ask her out.
Anyway to find out?

[Astronuc]

If she's in one of your classes, make with some small talk. If you get some positive responses, then ask her to lunch or dinner, or coffee in the middle of the day between classes or for a study break.

For me, if I was seriously interested in a girl, I'd just ask her out.

[Ivan Seeking]

Try this one: Hi. I have a Porsche.

[St. Aegis]

haha, that is the funny part.
Let me try to explain this again.
We have two schools in our town. I go to one side and she goes to the other side. The last time I had class with her was in middle school (I belive it was Space Station Design:tongue2:), and I rarely see her that often. However, we do remain in good contact, mostly through facebooking and gchat. As I said, I am really attracted to her, but I have no guts, and no, I am not charismatic like Feynman. I think we have established that we are good friends at this point. Even if I do talk to her in person, what would positive results look like?

[Ivan Seeking]

Just find something fun to do that you know she will enjoy, and ask her to join you. Don't make it a date. Make it a day - just have fun and the rest will take care of itself.

[binzing]

I bet you have lunch at the same time...If your town isn't that big you could meet somewhere sometime...

I have to ask, did the part about Feynman have anything to do with that xkcd comic?

[bassplayer142]

Dude ask her out before it's too late. You will never go out with her if you don't ask her out and if you don't then it is just something to regret later on.

[St. Aegis]

Well lets see, our schools are seperated by 5 miles across and in 45 min, it seems very unlikely we could do something worthwhile, while we did come nearby.
Like I said, how would i ask her out. I find it iIncredibly lame to ask someone out on gchat. “Hi, want to go out with me?”=instant reject.
Funny thing is, I think the last time we bonded was at a science competition when our schools were competing. I think she would find it awkward if I said, suddenly to bring her somewhere, etc.

[makethings]

you're going to let 5 miles stop you?

you got to get the ball rolling. Its on you to do it.

the day she hooks up with another guy you'll regret it if you didnt do nothing.

[binzing]

Well don't rush things. Just hang out with her more often...

[St. Aegis]

buddy let me remind you that i bike to school and it takes me ~20 to get there and another~20 to get back, so what does that leave me 5min!?!?!?!

[St. Aegis]

and i think if i think about it, it takes me 5 miles, and 7 miles, so sqrt(7^2+5^2) is the actual distance

[NeoDevin]

Do you have her phone number? If so, just call her up and say something like "Hey, how's it going? I'm going to X this weekend, and could use some company, care to join me?"...

Note: Don't actually say "X", replace that with something that you find interesting that's happening this weekend, or a park that you enjoy spending time at, or something like that. Make sure it's something that you'll enjoy doing even if she doesn't show, then just have fun.

[makethings]

find a regional science competition and ask her to be your partner. That way you can spend time with her at her house or yours.

[St. Aegis]

these are good suggestions, but quite interestingly is, I rarely leave my house and the things i like to do, like tennis, she isnt so hot about (she is a swimmer and a runner).
I think science is the only thing that could link me to her lawl, and the next science event comes up in spring, any more suggestions

[St. Aegis]

Would it help to mention, that she has already dated someone else before?

[thebluelagoon]

I don't really think so. Ask her out for coffee or something with some mutual friends. And then you guys can hang out but it's not a 'date'.

Postive results include if she plays with her hair while talking to you, listens to stuff you say, meets your eyes and doesn't look away immediately (longing glances are a dead giveaway that there could be something) and laughs at a joke you made that even you found completely lame.

[Howers]

Generally what you look for is if she talks about you, laughs with you often, or touches you in a playful way. But as good friends, chances are you already get that.

So you're pretty much screwed.

edit: why is it that immediately after I post something someone says the exact same thing a few minutes earlier. every thread LOL

[St. Aegis]

Hmm...
well i dont know too much of the touching.....
i guess it happens as friends, most of what everyone has mentioned.
so what is it, should I ask her out....
FYI-not a coffee, carbonated beverage, alcohol drinker.......

[Howers]

Touches you in the shoulder or takes things from your hand... don't get ideas =P

That is generally a good sign that she is not disgusted by your presence.


Is she happy to see you, says hi, etc? Or is she putting on an act and embarassed by you. These would be good signs of potential; nothing however guarentees a date as women are from Venus and they use a different system of logic. (This is why a lot of girls are frustrated with math)

[thebluelagoon]

YES! Ask her out. And the term 'for a coffee' means just into town somewhere. Or to the movies, if she talks about a movie on gchat that's a good opening.

Oh, and if she kisses you it means she likes you. Just in case you're not sure.

[St. Aegis]

oh um she says hi to me when we see eachother, but then again, she isnt the type who would blush... (at least I have never).
I dont think she is disgusted by my presence openly (hell, I scare myself, did you see my photo lawl), but I am not a frequent smiler.
She does laugh at my jokes, but I only say jokes when they are funny....
@edit
I dont expect a kiss, i mean touching is ok, but I think kissing is a bit off...

[Howers]

If you aren't fooling yourself I say you stand a decent chance then. Don't blurt it out though. Time it right and have confidence. The worst she'll do is say no, shrug it off and say "heh worth a shot".

And am I the only one who finds it rude to post someone elses photo on a public forum without that person's consent? Haha.

[tribdog]

oh um she says hi to me when we see eachother, but then again, she isnt the type who would blush... (at least I have never).
I dont think she is disgusted by my presence openly (hell, I scare myself, did you see my photo lawl), but I am not a frequent smiler.
She does laugh at my jokes, but I only say jokes when they are funny....
@edit
I dont expect a kiss, i mean touching is ok, but I think kissing is a bit off...

One thing. You are not disgusting and being here you should be smart enough to realize that. Quit saying crap like that or you'll never get a date. You want to see disgusting? Have you ever seen a picture of (name deleted by mentor). HE is disgusting!!!
Go ahead and ask her out. If you don't, but you keep hanging around pretty soon you'll be the "gay, best friend" you don't want to get that label. Ask her out, don't call her the next day and you'll be in like flynn.

[St. Aegis]

@tribdog;
I just am not happy with my appearance, I look rather too emo for my liking or some sort of serial killer because my nature lacks smiles.
@Howers
This is her picture off of facebook. Pretty aint she?
I think in general, I'll do it within this month :lol:, but when is the right time to ask?

[Howers]

Yeah confidence is key. Since you are a "science guy", the scientific reason is that you are trying to show her that your genes are solid and that she should consider DNA recombination with you. But if you don't believe it yourself, you will have a hard time convincing her. Have you ever seen a car salesman sell you a piece of crap that he thought was a piece of crap? You just read his face and say no. This is what happens when you ask girls out. Think of yourself as Brad Pitt when you look at her, but don't do it excessivley as it will make you look like a wanker. And wanker's got their names for a reason...

And I can't answer your question without sounding like a pedophile =P

[St. Aegis]

well how hard is it to say "i love you, will you go out with me" to another person.
Just thinking about it makes my head queasy

[Cyrus]

One thing. You are not disgusting and being here you should be smart enough to realize that. Quit saying crap like that or you'll never get a date. You want to see disgusting? Have you ever seen a picture of Cyrus. HE is dreamy!!!
Go ahead and ask her out. If you don't, but you keep hanging around pretty soon you'll be the "gay, best friend" you don't want to get that label. Ask her out, don't call her the next day and you'll be in like flynn.

Please, I'm blushing.

[tribdog]

@tribdog;
I just am not happy with my appearance, I look rather too emo for my liking or some sort of serial killer because my nature lacks smiles.


Get over it. If you were disgusting I would tell you. Name deleted by mentor is disgusting. Name deleted by mentor is even worse.

[St. Aegis]

Please, I'm blushing.
lawl?

[St. Aegis]

Isnt appearance everything for women?

[Howers]

At a young age, appearance is everything (showcase your genes).

After about 24, money is everything a girl wants. For guys its still appearance, and after about 30 its anything with legs.



And you should postpone asking her out. Not because you are ugly, but because you think you are ugly. Girls pick that up with a radar.

[St. Aegis]

i never said ugly; I have decent features, i just dont like my outlook

[thebluelagoon]

I gotta agree with the appearance thing - although I hate to say it, good looks is prime. BUT I think you look awesome, St Aegis. And I think that girl will too. And if she doesn't she is missing out on some prime stock right there.

[St. Aegis]

aw thanks man,
my self-esteem is really high now

[tribdog]

don't get cocky

[Astronuc]

and i think if i think about it, it takes me 5 miles, and 7 miles, so sqrt(7^2+5^2) is the actual distance Use a bicycle. Just don't push it too hard so that you get hot and sweaty.

When I was in high school, I once dated a girl who live about 90 miles from me.

My brother had a girlfriend who lived in the Philippines (stepfather was in the US Navy), while we lived in the US. They got married three years later when her family moved to the US, and she attended the same university as my brother.


I also developed a close relationship with a woman who lived 7000 km (4200 mi) from me.

[NeoDevin]

well how hard is it to say "i love you, will you go out with me" to another person.
Just thinking about it makes my head queasy

I would stay away from saying "I love you" until after you've been dating her for a while.

[BobG]

Get over it. If you were disgusting I would tell you. Name deleted by mentor is disgusting. Name deleted by mentor is even worse.

Okay, I could probably handle being called disgusting, but implying I'm more disgusting than Name deleted by mentor is going to way to far! Nobody is more disgusting than Name deleted by mentor! And Nobody is more disgusting than me! (Which, I guess, doesn't completely eliminate the possibility I'm more disgusting than Name deleted by mentor ....)

And I know it was my name that was deleted! And, NO, I'm not suffering from insecurities! I just wish I were Somebody! Somebody is pretty awesome.

I'd offer the original poster some advice, but, somehow, I doubt they want any from me.

[Topher925]

"You know, my two favorite things in the world are commitment and changing myself."

Works every time. :smile:

[Evo]

Isnt appearance everything for women?No, a great sense of humor, intelligence and kindness are the top three things, looks are not as important.

[kingdomof]

No, a great sense of humor, intelligence and kindness are the top three things, looks are not as important.

So what you're saying here is that I'm screwed.


Personally, I think OP should just invest the time in something more fruitful, like, well, you know.

A business relationship.

[St. Aegis]

No, a great sense of humor, intelligence and kindness are the top three things, looks are not as important.
I wish everyone acted like you do lawl
At my school, I think people go out with each other based on looks ...
ok so from what i gathered this is what I should do
1)Talk to her and ask her to go somewhere with me (Ideally by ourselves, but groups work right?)
2)When we get there, have a great time
3)Somewhere in between there, separate from other people for a bit and ask her out, this doesnt have to be too romantic amiright?
4)Act cool and calm if i get rejected?

any suggestions would help, I dont plan to carry this out until i have a fool-proof plan on me

[Jimmy Snyder]

I haven't read this thread, so I must apologize if these ideas have already been suggested or if they are not pertinent.

1. Before asking this girl out, practice on girls you are not attracted to. You will gain useful experience and who knows, you may change your mind.

2. Before talking to her, have an exit strategy, like "Oh I just membered, I was supposed to meet George at the mall, gotta run. Bye.", and cut out. Then when you are talking to her, and you start to feel nervous and are afraid she'll see you in a bad light, exit. The next time you meet, you won't feel awkward.

[St. Aegis]

1. Before asking this girl out, practice on girls you are not attracted to. You will gain useful experience and who knows, you may change your mind.

2. Before talking to her, have an exit strategy, like "Oh I just membered, I was supposed to meet George at the mall, gotta run. Bye.", and cut out. Then when you are talking to her, and you start to feel nervous and are afraid she'll see you in a bad light, exit. The next time you meet, you won't feel awkward.
That actually isnt a bad idea.
Lawl, although I feel really bad about the first part; ask someone then dumping her. Its like dating can be practiced like piano :rofl:
Second part, I will keep in mind, but remember, if I bring her somewhere, what would be my excuse then?

[NeoDevin]

Its like dating can be practiced like piano :rofl:

Anything that is a skill can be learned through practice.

[St. Aegis]

then are you saying that romance is superficial?

[Jimmy Snyder]

That actually isnt a bad idea.
Lawl, although I feel really bad about the first part; ask someone then dumping her. Its like dating can be practiced like piano :rofl:
Second part, I will keep in mind, but remember, if I bring her somewhere, what would be my excuse then?
A date is not like a marriage. You can take a girl to a movie, or to eat, or etc. and it doesn't commit you to anything.

Stay on neutral territory until you feel comfortable with her. You could break something if before that point you ask her out on a skiing trip and get nervous on the lift.

[St. Aegis]

But isnt a date something to show another girl that you like her?
I feel comfortable, but I would like more advice on my plan

[rootX]

HI,
So I noticed that these here forums are pretty big on the romance thing.......
So although I posted earlier, I just wanted to see if anyone else would be willing to help me.
Here is the scenario.
I like this girl at school, I would say that she is fairly pretty. I updated her picture on this link
http://m.flickr.com/photo.gne?id=2900130103&
Anyways, so I know that I like her, but I have no idea if she likes me back. Chances are, if she does, I would ask her out.
Anyway to find out?

I only went through half of the thread.

1. Don't put other people picture online without their permission
2. IMO it's better to stay away from *serious* romance until you have graduated, have some money, and a sense of responsibility and maturity.

Personally, I am not looking at any girl until I graduate and travel at least some other countries/cultures/places and have a better understanding of what exactly I want.

Simple dating, having fun without any commitments is ok.

In addition, I don't think there's any way you can tell if a *young* girl likes you. They are hard to trust because they don't even know themselves and their choices change frequently.

[St. Aegis]

1)Ok picture deleted, I guess that was immature on my part ...
2)Thing is, she IS my ideal girl; or someone who I would imagine that I would live with. Of course, I guess I dont know her absolutely well still.......

[kingdomof]

But isnt a date something to show another girl that you like her?
I feel comfortable, but I would like more advice on my plan

I'll give you the same advice my friend gave me upon entering college. "You know, go after girls man, but don't treat it as anything more than practice. You don't have the time for that type of crap, and furthermore, you shouldn't tie yourself down early."

My dark humor isn't exactly appreciated here, but nevertheless, I got to say a few things.

You like science, right? Well, dude, why wouldn't you put an acid directly to a base? Same thing here, except there are certain things which you aren't putting together in the social situation. You should take this advice and not only observe it to a degree, but actually try to make some sense out of it by yourself and ask why. Its lovely to have everything laid out for you, but you should come up with a reason as to why these people are saying to do this and what not. Keep in mind, through your experience with just asking out your first girl and what not, you're actually setting yourself up mentally for future experiences with girls and future friends. You shouldn't approach the situation as "Oh God, this girl is the one." but more casually, as she is most likely not going to be your soulmate or whatever cliche you subscribe to. She's just some broad, never let that leave your head, and you just want to hang out with her. Go with the flow of things and try to look for certain social cues which would allow you to arrive at the conclusion of "Alright, she digs me because of XYZ." Spend time with her as you would anyone else, except just be a little more suggestive of the fact that you like her, don't be nervous of it. If she rejects it, she rejects it, who gave a ****.

Dates are sort of a more grandiose move which one would play when a mutual connection is made. However, it is not just merely chilling to get to know the girl a little better.

In all honesty though, good luck, and I hope it works out. Most men have been through this and survived, either direction it went. Truthfully, be happy either way. Girls suck :(

[BobG]

Its like dating can be practiced like piano :rofl:


Anything that is a skill can be learned through practice.

then are you saying that romance is superficial?

There was a time when it was common to have single dates with a variety of partners. A date shouldn't be a commitment to romance.

If you're nervous about conversation, try a neutral physical activity (one neither of you specializes in). Miniature golf and bowling are decent activities that give lots of breaks for conversation and something to talk about when you're at a loss for any 'meaningful' topics. Or some other activity that requires some kind of interaction - roller skating, baking cookies, making pizza, building a shed, etc.

A movie isn't a great first date unless the two of you already talk to each other a lot. Otherwise, you're going somewhere just to sit next to each other while not talking to each other.

[tribdog]

No, a great sense of humor, intelligence and kindness are the top three things, looks are not as important.

wow, that's me.

[St. Aegis]

Ok, then its settled, something that we both dont specialize in........

[NeoDevin]

then are you saying that romance is superficial?

No, just that it is something that can be learned. Try this forum, (http://www.fastseduction.com/) or this one. (http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php) Just because something can be studied or learned does not mean it is superficial (and just because something is superficial, doesn't not mean it is bad). Anyways, have fun!

[St. Aegis]

um wow, they have forums for this tooo?
i dont trust these forums lawl
and thanks

[offtheleft]

bro, bottom line; ask her out. if you don't its a definite no.

[NeoDevin]

um wow, they have forums for this tooo?
i dont trust these forums lawl
and thanks

They have forums for everything. I'm not a member of either of the ones I linked to (I'm married, so am no longer in the dating game) so can't recommend if they're any good or not, but you're free to google more if you want, I'm sure there are a lot.

[Howers]

No, a great sense of humor, intelligence and kindness are the top three things, looks are not as important.

I'm not saying I think you are a liar, I am saying I know you are. The question is whether or not you are aware of it.

[turbo]

St. Aegis, you don't need a plan - you need to be willing to take a shot. When I entered college, I was barely over 5'2" (grew by over 4" that year, though), skinny and nerdy as all get-out. Engineering school emphasizes that, even if you've already got "nerdy" nailed. There was a tall, beautiful, blond (Scandinavian family) who lived in my complex, and I only saw her at meals (no co-ed dorms in 1970). One day at lunch, I saw her sitting alone in the cafeteria, and I asked if I could sit with her. She pulled out the chair next to her and said "I've been saving this seat for you." We both laughed and had a great lunch-time. It turns out that we had very similar tastes in music, literature, art, etc, and ended up being as close as can be, all through college. It never turned into anything permanent, but it was great anyway. We looked like Dudley Moore and Susan Anton with the height difference, and guys would actually come up and hit on her when we were out together, as if there was NO WAY that she wanted to be with me. If someone told me today that she was very attracted to me, and I had never bothered to try to get to know her, I'd be devastated.

[turbo]

I'm not saying I think you are a liar, I am saying I know you are. The question is whether or not you are aware of it.Evo is not lying, nor are any number of men I know that value the same qualities in women. Immature, shallow people can't seem to understand, though.

[rootX]

St. Aegis, you don't need a plan - you need to be willing to take a shot. When I entered college, I was barely over 5'2" (grew by over 4" that year, though), skinny and nerdy as all get-out. Engineering school emphasizes that, even if you've already got "nerdy" nailed. There was a tall, beautiful, blond (Scandinavian family) who lived in my complex, and I only saw her at meals (no co-ed dorms in 1970). One day at lunch, I saw her sitting alone in the cafeteria, and I asked if I could sit with her. She pulled out the chair next to her and said "I've been saving this seat for you." We both laughed and had a great lunch-time. It turns out that we had very similar tastes in music, literature, art, etc, and ended up being as close as can be, all through college. It never turned into anything permanent, but it was great anyway. We looked like Dudley Moore and Susan Anton with the height difference, and guys would actually come up and hit on her when we were out together, as if there was NO WAY that she wanted to be with me. If someone told me today that she was very attracted to me, and I had never bothered to try to get to know her, I'd be devastated.

I also got into similar relationship in high school. I never trusted anyone like that before. If someone told me today that she was very attracted to me, and I had never bothered to try to get to know her, I'd be devastated. She tried but I had something else in my mind. I wanted her to love/marry a good conservative christian with strong faith in god:smile:

But I know she didn't. It was really close relationship; I could simply read her mind.

[Vanadium 50]

I'm not saying I think you are a liar, I am saying I know you are. The question is whether or not you are aware of it.

There are no attractive people. There are people you're attracted to.

[Howers]

Evo is not lying, nor are any number of men I know that value the same qualities in women. Immature, shallow people can't seem to understand, though.

They are indeed valuable qualities. But in your 20s, can you honestly tell me this is how you filtered women? It has been my experience that you can't romantically like someone you are not physically attracted to. This does not neccessarily imply you need to have super model looks, but it does mean you can imagine yourself holding said person. If this is not met, you will have a stiff relationship where you continously try to convince yourself you are not shallow and that you love her. For these reasons, I think looks get priority and are at the very least on part with the other qualities listed.

To put things into context, I think with the OP and his teenage crush we can assume 99% people in his age group are immature and shallow. The importance of appearance does degrade with time, but it does not become totally insignifact until you are pretty mature age wise. At that point, no one in your group has looks to bargain with anyway, so you look at other qualities.

Doesn't our dear Evo take pride in her daughters appearance? Rightfully so I might add :!!)

[tribdog]

I'm not saying I think you are a liar, I am saying I know you are. The question is whether or not you are aware of it.

See, this is why I get so many points against me. I always end up in trouble because no one else wants to stand up and tell this guy to watch his mouth. there is a difference between disagreeing with someone and being rude. And this punk has not earned the right to be rude to anyone on here.
Maybe punk is a strong word, but dammit, I like Evo and she shouldn't be called a liar. I've never known her to lie to anyone.

[thebluelagoon]

Ok, I just have to say that I think it's a teensy tiny little bit immoral to practise on girls. With my grand total of two boyfriends - I'd be devastated to find out they were just practising on me! And, hopefully with my standing, I'd be able to make sure they'd never get a date from our town again. So think real hard on that one before you try it on.

As for what I look for in blokes - I find appearance really high up but everyone has different tastes! One of my mates is desperately 'in love' with her boyf that I find completely unattractive. And yet she kisses a picture of him before she goes to bed at night. Everyone to their own.

There are no attractive people. There are people you're attracted to.

So true, man.

[lisab]

There are no attractive people. There are people you're attracted to.

You hit right on it.

[JasonRox]

I want someone attractive. I don't need it, but I want it. I won't settle for anything without it.

[rootX]

There are no attractive people. There are people you're attracted to.

Or the opposite.

I don't like fat stranger girls but it's not hard to find beauty in/inside them: just gotta know them.

[rootX]

I want someone attractive. I don't need it, but I want it. I won't settle for anything without it.

I don't know how this will work once you reach 90s .. ? Old people are usually ugly with respect to ....

[mcknia07]

I think you should just go for it, you will regret it if you don't. The worst thing she can do is just say we should only be friends, but hey, you have that now, so she could always change her mind later on. Looks are for sure not the only thing to look for though. Most girls once don't go just by looks, but as Evo put it :biggrin:

[tribdog]

Oh, god. Why couldn't you have said 90s. did you have to call 40s old? do you know how many important people here are 40? Some people deserve what they get.

[rootX]

Oh, god. Why couldn't you have said 90s. did you have to call 40s old? do you know how many important people here are 40? Some people deserve what they get.

I put "with respect to" .. so that could be wrt early 20s who are go with people's looks. Same goes for 80s with respect to 40s

When do wrinkles come and hair go gray? I thought that's 40 ..

ok, fixed :D

[thebluelagoon]

Well, my rents are 50 and they're not paticularly grey or wrinkly...

[turbo]

They are indeed valuable qualities. But in your 20s, can you honestly tell me this is how you filtered women?My steady date in HS was a Miss Maine Runner-up. I went with her primarily because she latched onto me. In retrospect. I should have had more sense .... In reality, I did eventually, and have been happily married for ~30 years.

[Howers]

See, this is why I get so many points against me. I always end up in trouble because no one else wants to stand up and tell this guy to watch his mouth. there is a difference between disagreeing with someone and being rude. And this punk has not earned the right to be rude to anyone on here.
Maybe punk is a strong word, but dammit, I like Evo and she shouldn't be called a liar. I've never known her to lie to anyone.

I suppose I came off rude. I do have temperment and I don't really put an effort to control it online, which is why I may appear confrontational. I find my mean-spirit often brings out the best when arguing, but I do forget that people here are my elders (5+ years older than me) and deserve respect different from my peers.

I really like Evo, and didn't mean to insult her. But looking back I suppose I did. My snide remark about her daughter didn't really soften the blow as I intended, it sort of made it worse. Its just what she said struck a chord with me and my aunt (not real aunt, more of a super close friend of mom). This aunt is sort of like Evo in that she tells everyone appearance is not important and that a good personality is all one should look for in a mate (I think its because her husband lacks said qualities). On the other hand she will look at young couples and remark about how compatible they are based soley on appearance... ie. 'that girl could do so much better than that fat kid'. And she lets the world know how beautiful her daughter is and how she could date superstars. Complete hipocracy. Its this similarity that promted me to confront Evo. I guess I should not have infered anything about Evo like that, and maybe she genuinely dismisses appearance. I just find it infuriating when people say looks don't matter, because in general that is not the case. They are definately not everything, and one can never build a relationship based soley on them. But they are a big part of the mix.

And I definately agree looks are subjective.

(and sorry to Evo if she got insulted)

[JasonRox]

My steady date in HS was a Miss Maine Runner-up. I went with her primarily because she latched onto me. In retrospect. I should have had more sense .... In reality, I did eventually, and have been happily married for ~30 years.

One of my ex-gf is now a pornstar. :rofl:

Good times.

Yeah, I need sexual desire for my partner all the time. I'm fine with living alone otherwise.

[JasonRox]

I suppose I came off rude. I do have temperment and I don't really put an effort to control it online, which is why I may appear confrontational. I find my mean-spirit often brings out the best when arguing, but I do forget that people here are my elders (5+ years older than me) and deserve respect different from my peers.

I really like Evo, and didn't mean to insult her. But looking back I suppose I did. My snide remark about her daughter didn't really soften the blow as I intended, it sort of made it worse. Its just what she said struck a chord with me and my aunt (not real aunt, more of a super close friend of mom). This aunt is sort of like Evo in that she tells everyone appearance is not important and that a good personality is all one should look for in a mate (I think its because her husband lacks said qualities). On the other hand she will look at young couples and remark about how compatible they are based soley on appearance... ie. 'that girl could do so much better than that fat kid'. And she lets the world know how beautiful her daughter is and how she could date superstars. Complete hipocracy. Its this similarity that promted me to confront Evo. I guess I should not have infered anything about Evo like that, and maybe she genuinely dismisses appearance. I just find it infuriating when people say looks don't matter, because in general that is not the case. They are definately not everything, and one can never build a relationship based soley on them. But they are a big part of the mix.

And I definately agree looks are subjective.

(and sorry to Evo if she got insulted)

You don't need to give more respect to someone just because they're older. Everyone should have the same amount of respect from you initially. If I meet a 14 year old kid for the first time or a 40 year old lady, they both get the same respect from me. To get more respect, it must be earned and not just "expected" because you're older. Sorry, but not with me.