View Full Version : "I love you"
Loren Booda
Nov1-09, 09:10 PM
How do you feel when someone tells you "I love you"? When you tell this to someone?
Has it thrilled you, shocked you, or embarrassed you?
Do you reserve "I love you" for your intimates, family, or just about anyone?
Are you more likely to say it during sex, reunions or by habit?
Can "I love you" be insignificant to some and heavenly to others?
Is saying some semblance of it accustomed worldwide?
Would people be more likely to curse than embrace "I love you"?
Whose companion has needed to repeat those three words to get the message across?
When had you missed saying "I love you"? (My girlfriend says "last night!")
theCandyman
Nov1-09, 09:50 PM
I haven't said "I love you" since I was probably around four. My family just doesn't say it, and we're not very touchy either - I think the last person I hugged was my mom back when I was ten or so. Other than family, I haven't had anyone that close.
I haven't said "I love you" since I was probably around four. My family just doesn't say it, and we're not very touchy either - I think the last person I hugged was my mom back when I was ten or so. Other than family, I haven't had anyone that close.
That's too bad.
My family is typically American - mom and dad, step-mom and step-dad, brothers, half-sisters, half-brothers, step-brothers...what a mess. You need a timeline and a flow chart to follow it all.
We weren't very affectionate either, until one of my brothers died (in an avalanche). Since then, we say "I love you" often.
He never told any of us he loved us...but we know he did. None of us ever told him that we love him...I hope he knew we did. But life is short. Swallow your pride, tell your loved ones that you love them.
Moonbear
Nov2-09, 12:13 AM
My family is typically American - mom and dad, step-mom and step-dad, brothers, half-sisters, half-brothers, step-brothers...what a mess. You need a timeline and a flow chart to follow it all.
:rofl: Sounds like my family a bit too.
I'm not really touchy-feely with my family and don't use "I love you" a lot with each other. We look out for each other and take care of each other when needed, but the "I love yous" are pretty obligatory rather than meaningful (i.e., it's more expedient to just say "I love you" when hanging up the phone with mom than to not say it and get the guilt trip from her about her not being loved).
On the other hand, my boyfriend and I say it to each other often, and mean it. He was the one very stingy about saying it when we first met...well, not when we FIRST met, that would just be weird...but early in our relationship. It was like he wasn't sure about it or uncomfortable with realizing it or something. When I would tell him I loved him, he'd just answer, "I know." But everything he did showed me he loved me then, so it didn't matter. I would sometimes just answer back, "And I know you love me too." Now he says it often and still means it.
I ask my cat if she loves me while I'm tickling her tum tums, but that usually just gets me bitten. :biggrin:
ideasrule
Nov2-09, 12:16 AM
I haven't said "I love you" since I was probably around four. My family just doesn't say it, and we're not very touchy either - I think the last person I hugged was my mom back when I was ten or so. Other than family, I haven't had anyone that close.
Same here. My family members simply don't talk to each other much. I don't think I've ever been in a casual conversation with them since I was 8; we don't enjoy each other's company or anything like that. Lots of people may think this is abnormal, but I'm glad to see that it's not.
TheStatutoryApe
Nov2-09, 01:55 AM
When I would tell him I loved him, he'd just answer, "I know."
Maybe its a guy thing. When someone says "I love you" or gives me some compliment it gives me the feeling that if I make some compliment in return it looks like I am only doing so because I am obligated. So there is a sort of resistance in my mind to giving the follow up especially early on in a relationship when I may have only so far given the "I love you too"s and not any "I love you"s.
Pengwuino
Nov2-09, 02:03 AM
I ask my cat if she loves me while I'm tickling her tum tums, but that usually just gets me bitten. :biggrin:
Now there's a respect loser.... :biggrin:
leroyjenkens
Nov2-09, 02:07 AM
I haven't said "I love you" since I was probably around four. My family just doesn't say it, and we're not very touchy either - I think the last person I hugged was my mom back when I was ten or so. Other than family, I haven't had anyone that close.
I'm in the same boat as you, except I was kinda put on the spot to say it when my friends daughter said it to me. She's 2. What else can I do but say it back? Everyone was watching with their "awwwww" faces.
GeorginaS
Nov2-09, 02:24 AM
:rofl: Sounds like my family a bit too.
are pretty obligatory rather than meaningful (i.e., it's more expedient to just say "I love you" when hanging up the phone with mom than to not say it and get the guilt trip from her about her not being loved).
Oh, I hear that one entirely.
Here is a good story (my wife would disagree):
When my wife and I were first dating, she threw the "I love you" out there pretty early in the relationship. I was a little stunned, caught a little off guard, and in a moment complete stupidity that I can only explain away with temporary insanity, I said "Thanks."
She was upset (imagine that...) and we had a long talk. I came to my senses a few days later. I still hear about it from time to time. I have to say, a quality shining moment in my life. We now never part without telling each other "I love you."
I also make sure I tell my kids I love them often and with sincerity. My family was always quite open with our feelings for each other when I was growing up and I want my kids to also grow up in that type of environment.
True men don't love.
Define true men.
Moonbear
Nov2-09, 10:38 AM
Maybe its a guy thing. When someone says "I love you" or gives me some compliment it gives me the feeling that if I make some compliment in return it looks like I am only doing so because I am obligated. So there is a sort of resistance in my mind to giving the follow up especially early on in a relationship when I may have only so far given the "I love you too"s and not any "I love you"s.
I think so. My boyfriend was raised in a very old-fashioned family. Men aren't "allowed" to show emotion. So, when you grow up being expected to always hide your feelings, it takes a while to start feeling comfortable sharing them. I think it just took him a long time to feel safe with the idea of sharing emotions with me. It wasn't that he didn't have the feelings (even when he was reluctant to share, I could always tell from his eyes what he was feeling), he just didn't like to express them. He's still not entirely comfortable with me seeing his eyes water up over something sad. But, he's really cute when he tries to hide it...for example, he'll just move to sit behind me and hold me, so I can't turn around and see his face, or he'll squish me in a big bear hug, again, so I can't pull back too easily to look at him.
The only people I've told I've loved for the last about 10 years have been my girlfriends (actually just the last 2 and it took awhile to say it) and I remember one time saying it to my grandma so she could give me a birthday gift... As well my uncle was moving out of the province and me and him were pretty close and we both told each other we loved eachother... Thinking about this one makes me feel weird though.
leroyjenkens
Nov2-09, 11:39 AM
I think so. My boyfriend was raised in a very old-fashioned family. Men aren't "allowed" to show emotion. So, when you grow up being expected to always hide your feelings, it takes a while to start feeling comfortable sharing them. I think it just took him a long time to feel safe with the idea of sharing emotions with me. It wasn't that he didn't have the feelings (even when he was reluctant to share, I could always tell from his eyes what he was feeling), he just didn't like to express them. He's still not entirely comfortable with me seeing his eyes water up over something sad. But, he's really cute when he tries to hide it...for example, he'll just move to sit behind me and hold me, so I can't turn around and see his face, or he'll squish me in a big bear hug, again, so I can't pull back too easily to look at him.
I don't think I've heard my dad say the word "love" ever. In ANY context. But I feel perfectly fine telling someone I love them. I still refuse to cry in front of anybody. I'll admit something was sad, but that's as far as it goes.
Pattonias
Nov2-09, 12:19 PM
Its really weird, but I was always brought up in a family that was very affectionate and we would often tell one another that we love them.
I have had two girlfriends tell me that they loved me, but I couldn't say it back. I always told them that I would never say it unless I truly meant it. That it would represent my total committal in a way that I could not describe any other way.
To me to say that I love a girl outside of my family is to say that I have given myself over to her in the same way that I am exposed within my own family. It would represent, to me, the final level of spiritual committal that I am capable of giving over.
As a man/boy, I don't think I have any aversion to emotions, but I was taught to suppress my emotions when appropriate. That doesn't mean that I am incapable of feeling them. I think this would describe most mens feelings about "feelings".
anirudh215
Nov2-09, 12:32 PM
Define true men.
Definition : A true man is one who does not love. :biggrin:
Pattonias
Nov2-09, 01:43 PM
Crud, either I am not a "true man" or I have not yet determined whether or not I am a true man...
Three simple words, that takes no skill to use and use up about 4 seconds of our time to say. The words "I love you", mean a great deal to me. Every one that I love, knows I love them. I say it often, and mean it every time I say it. I am also a hugger, and if you go to shake my hand, most often I will clasp your hand with both of mine. Yup, sneaky little mini hand hugs.
I don't really believe people need to hear it, to know they are loved. Most of the time our actions and behaviors speak on our behalf. Sometimes the "I love you" is like a gift, given for no special reason. It just feels good.
Astronuc
Nov3-09, 06:55 PM
Three simple words, that takes no skill to use and use up about 4 seconds of our time to say. The words "I love you", mean a great deal to me. Every one that I love, knows I love them. I say it often, and mean it every time I say it. I am also a hugger, and if you go to shake my hand, most often I will clasp your hand with both of mine. Yup, sneaky little mini hand hugs.
I don't really believe people need to hear it, to know they are loved. Most of the time our actions and behaviors speak on our behalf. Sometimes the "I love you" is like a gift, given for no special reason. It just feels good. I'm much the same.
Hugs everyone! :biggrin:
I am glad my parents say those three words out loud very often...
:)
sadly, my brothers do not...
happy my best friends and I do!
but if I were to say it to that special someone...
it has to be when it really is special, and I am really willing to love the person eventually...
"I Love You" is sacred!
JasonRox
Nov3-09, 11:26 PM
People say when you're angry, you should find other ways to express yourself other than using four letter words.
The same holds for feelings of happiness and love. So if someone says "I love you", I feel like they could be expressing themselves much better than that.
DaveC426913
Nov3-09, 11:29 PM
Every one that I love, knows I love them.
So that makes me ... what? Chopped liver?
http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u181/samantna79/emoticons/MSN-Emoticon-sad-182-1.gif
People say when you're angry, you should find other ways to express yourself other than using four letter words.
The same holds for feelings of happiness and love. So if someone says "I love you", I feel like they could be expressing themselves much better than that.
well if someone was angry and they said to me 'I'm angry with you." I would be more scared than if they swore at me.
JasonRox
Nov3-09, 11:43 PM
well if someone was angry and they said to me 'I'm angry with you." I would be more scared than if they swore at me.
Your point is?
I'm saying it is of low quality to express anger by using four letter words.
I'm also saying it is of low quality to express positive feelings for another by using a four letter word.
I hold the same standard on both spectrums. I would hope someone can be more thoughtful and come up with something better than just... "I love you".
Your point is?
That when you come out and just straight up say your feelings point blank it is much more meaningful?
Swearing isn't comparable to saying i love you because love is the emotion swearing isn't. Thats my point. unless your talking about some other 4 letter word I've no idea about?
JasonRox
Nov3-09, 11:46 PM
That when you come out and just straight up say your feelings point blank it is much more meaningful?
Swearing isn't comparable to saying i love you because love is the emotion swearing isn't. Thats my point. unless your talking about some other 4 letter word I've no idea about?
Swearing is often used to express anger. Emotion. Love is used to express positive feelings. Emotion. What planet are you from?
People say when you're angry, you should find other ways to express yourself other than using four letter words.
What's four letter words? I only know two letter words.
I am too dry so I never use those three words. I always rely on words like awesome, cool, s**t, f**k, a*****le and that covers pretty much everything in my life.
edit oops, got confused between letters and words
Swearing is often used to express anger. Emotion. Love is used to express positive feelings. Emotion. What planet are you from?
Love IS the emotion. Fu*k is not an emotion. 'postive feelings' aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahhaah.
JasonRox
Nov3-09, 11:52 PM
Love IS the emotion. Fu*k is not an emotion. 'postive feelings' aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahhaah.
Who said love IS an emotion? That's questionable. People use love to mean sex too.
Seriously, if you want it to mean anything, you need to do much more than say "love". If you're satisfied with that, your standards are low in my opinion.
Moonbear
Nov3-09, 11:58 PM
Who said love IS an emotion? That's questionable. People use love to mean sex too.
Seriously, if you want it to mean anything, you need to do much more than say "love". If you're satisfied with that, your standards are low in my opinion.
Or your standards are just very unusual. There is nothing wrong with telling someone you love them when that's what you mean. Just because you've never experienced it, don't knock it. When you finally experience it, you'll understand better.
Who said love IS an emotion? That's questionable. People use love to mean sex too.
Seriously, if you want it to mean anything, you need to do much more than say "love". If you're satisfied with that, your standards are low in my opinion.
A bit cynical.
Of *course* love is an emotion. It's also actions, but when it's an emotion + actions...damn. Then, love is grand...really.
Loren Booda
Nov4-09, 01:02 AM
Would it be narcissistic to look into a mirror and say "I love you"?
JasonRox
Nov4-09, 10:26 PM
Or your standards are just very unusual. There is nothing wrong with telling someone you love them when that's what you mean. Just because you've never experienced it, don't knock it. When you finally experience it, you'll understand better.
But then you're assuming I never did.
I wouldn't be surprised if I felt emotions for someone that were much higher than someone else had for another and they called it love. Just because I won't call it love doesn't mean you can conclude my positive emotions towards someone or something is less. Hence, to conclude I never experienced it because I choose not to express myself that way is basically ignorant to what emotions are in the first place.
Love can only mean so much.
JasonRox
Nov4-09, 10:30 PM
When you finally experience it, you'll understand better.
Also, to say this kind of implies everyone follows a particular path. Like a father telling his son that one day he will find a special girl and he will understand why girls are special meanwhile his son is gay.
In my opinion, "love" is great but that's as far as it will go for me. If I "love" someone and the relationship dies out, I still consider it a great thing. I shared a great experience of "love" with such a person. And then I move on. Hard of course.
mcknia07
Nov5-09, 10:31 PM
Our family is big on hugs and kisses. We also always say "I love you" any time we part or end a convo. It's natural and is truely meant. I also say it to my boyfriend, but only when I really mean it (in this case, he said it to me before I said it to him, though). But, I truely do love him and I would not say it, if I didn't mean it. My friends and I say it to each other all the time too. It's more a feeling of telling someone that you care aboiut them and would do anything for them, if it came to it.
Our family is big on hugs and kisses. We also always say "I love you" any time we part or end a convo. It's natural and is truely meant. I also say it to my boyfriend, but only when I really mean it (in this case, he said it to me before I said it to him, though). But, I truely do love him and I would not say it, if I didn't mean it. My friends and I say it to each other all the time too. It's more a feeling of telling someone that you care aboiut them and would do anything for them, if it came to it.
This is a generational thing. I'm amazed at how often my daughter and her friends tell each other "I love you". In my circle of friends in high school, we only said that when we were really, really, crazy drunk.
I think today's generation has their priorities right :approve:.
mcknia07
Nov5-09, 11:29 PM
:biggrin: We are just the coolest people ever! That's all there is to it, hehe.
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