View Full Version : coversation starters...awkward silence
Ever been in that sort of situation with say, a girl, and you just can't think of anything funny to say? awkward silence... Anyone? :confused:
The dreaded awkward silence.
I think we've all experienced that at some point, well except maybe tribdog. :wink:
Any suggestions? tribdog? Jimmy? Anyone?
Here's the situation: She comes to stand next to me. (cuz I'm so witty and good looking) "hey," she says. "Hi," I reply. I make some joke about the weather or something. She laughs. I can't think of anything to say. She looks down at her shoes. My mouth opens but I can't say anything. What the heck do I say next?
What about....Wow, those are some pretty big feet you got there.
If that doesn't break the silence I don't know what will. :rofl: :rofl:
lol..big feet.
If I can't think of anything to say I usually say "Damn, I can't think of anything to say." Then I run away screaming and falling down a lot.
Actually that's not a bad thing to say. Tell her your mind short circuits every time she stands next to you. Then just start talking. Quit trying to find the "perfect" thing to say. Most people aren't as gifted as I am so they can't (and aren't expected to) be hilarious all the time. ask her how her day's going. put the burden on her.
Sounds like she's just as nervous as you, perhaps she likes you too. That makes it easier.
Adrian Baker
Nov6-04, 04:53 PM
Ask a simple open question that gives her the opportunity to reply at length..... or not.
Don't say something that only lets her answer 'yes' or 'no'. Eg - Where you surprised by the election result? Do you think of a photon as a particle or as a wave etc...
Lol Tribdog. Run away screaming, that's a good move.
I like a Adrian's approach. but what if I can't think of anything to say that gives her the opportunity to reply at length? What are some witty things to say?
lol..big feet.
If I can't think of anything to say I usually say "Damn, I can't think of anything to say." Then I run away screaming and falling down a lot.
Actually that's not a bad thing to say. Tell her your mind short circuits every time she stands next to you. Then just start talking. Quit trying to find the "perfect" thing to say. Most people aren't as gifted as I am so they can't (and aren't expected to) be hilarious all the time. ask her how her day's going. put the burden on her.
Sounds like she's just as nervous as you, perhaps she likes you too. That makes it easier.That's excellent advice. You amaze me tribdog. :approve:
lol, I know. I amaze myself sometimes too. I'm a romantic, this stuff is what I'm best at.
Ask a [complex] question that gives her the opportunity to reply at length
For example:
What are your feelings on the ramifications of quantum mechanics in terms of our social-ecomonic well being in the next century.
Then when she says: What?
You reply: That's exactly what I was thinking. Wow, we really do think alike.
Photon, if your mind goes blank, you can never go wrong complementing her about something, for example her shoes, clothes, hair. But as trib & Adrian said, ask her something that she'll have to answer in some detail. If you go to the same school, ask her about something that is going on, or about her classes. Uhm….
OMG, it's been so long since I dated I don't remember how to carry on a conversation anymore. :redface:
Put a tin of Altoids in your pocket and when she's near pop one in your mouth. Offer her one. Nobody says no to Altoids. then you have tons of opportunities for mentioning "kissably fresh breath"
devious_
Nov6-04, 06:01 PM
For example:
What are your feelings on the ramifications of quantum mechanics in terms of our social-ecomonic well being in the next century.
Then when she says: What?
You reply: That's exactly what I was think. Wow, we really do think alike.
Haha... I'm so using that. :rofl:
The dreaded awkward silence.
I think we've all experienced that at some point
I'm still experiencing it with girls.
The dreaded awkward silence.
I think we've all experienced that at some point
You mean it ends? I've been getting them for 10 years i thought it was just how you do it.
What are your feelings on the ramifications of quantum mechanics in terms of our social-ecomonic well being in the next century.
Then when she says: What?
You reply: That's exactly what I was thinking. Wow, we really do think alike.
Wow, you are a genius. We should talk more.
Put a tin of Altoids in your pocket and when she's near pop one in your mouth. Offer her one. Nobody says no to Altoids. then you have tons of opportunities for mentioning "kissably fresh breath"
Want an Altoid?
fourier jr
Nov7-04, 12:16 AM
I'm still experiencing it with girls.
i'm just starting to get over it; i think it's because i'm just older now (& maybe more mature too). i usually think of something beforehand & imagine what i'll be doing ~2 minutes in the future, so i'm psyched & i don't run out of things to say. usually it's a girl i've seen around before but never talked to, so i just ask how things have been going so far, or what they're up to, what they're doing there wherever they are, etc. maybe i'll try to find something unique about the girl, like if her hair is a bit different than other girls' (pigtails or braids instead of a ponytail, etc), or big hoop earrings, if she looks more dressed-up than everyone else, or whatever. they seem to go out of their way to be a bit different, but you've got to really mean it when you notice something & say it looks good.
i'm just starting to get over it; i think it's because i'm just older now (& maybe more mature too). i usually think of something beforehand & imagine what i'll be doing ~2 minutes in the future, so i'm psyched & i don't run out of things to say. usually it's a girl i've seen around before but never talked to, so i just ask how things have been going so far, or what they're up to, what they're doing there wherever they are, etc. maybe i'll try to find something unique about the girl, like if her hair is a bit different than other girls' (pigtails or braids instead of a ponytail, etc), or big hoop earrings, if she looks more dressed-up than everyone else, or whatever. they seem to go out of their way to be a bit different, but you've got to really mean it when you notice something & say it looks good.
No offense, but this is bad advice. You have to be careful handing out compliments to someone you don't know. It's easy to come across as either obssesed, desperate or just plain strange. Wait til you are actually trying to get in her pants before you start the compliments.
ps. this post was just to throw off anyone who was starting to think I was sensitive. I meant it though about being careful with premature compliments.
fourier jr
Nov7-04, 07:30 PM
i didn't mean right away, as in 1st to say to her, but once you've talked a bit
You know, the conversation starter is important, but you got to do some work for her to actually stay and listen to what you have to say.
You know how hard that is?
JasonRox
Nov7-04, 09:21 PM
Why does it have to be funny?
It doesn't, but funny is easier. and funny is sexy. and if you are already laughing when you get dissed there is less danger of breaking down into tears.
You know, the conversation starter is important, but you got to do some work for her to actually stay and listen to what you have to say.
You know how hard that is?
Again I must play the contrarian. The conversation starter really isn't that important. Take me for example do you realize how often I start threads that are completely worthless. I started one the other day saying my bum itched. And people responded.
The important thing isn't the conversation starter. the important thing is starting a conversation. Don't worry too much about what to say or how to say it. If life gives you lemons you just bite the bullet and go for it.
Take me for example do you realize how often I start threads that are completely worthless. I started one the other day saying my bum itched. And people responded.Because people care about you, and/or are bored and will respond to anything. :wink:
Exactly!
and people everywhere care or are bored and will respond to anything. That's why I say the important thing isn't what you say, but that you say anything at all.
This always breaks the ice: lets shag! :wink:
Math Is Hard
Nov7-04, 11:41 PM
My experience has been that people lo-o-ove to talk about themselves. (hey- me included!) If you want to get a conversation going, that's the best topic: the other person. What are their interests, what are their goals, where are they from, etc. If you can get the other person talking about him/herself, you don't have to do a thing.
My experience has been that people lo-o-ove to talk about themselves. (hey- me included!) If you want to get a conversation going, that's the best topic: the other person. What are their interests, what are their goals, where are they from, etc. If you can get the other person talking about him/herself, you don't have to do a thing.
Well, personally, if someone asks me to describe myself I always come up with a blank. But, as Dale Carnegie said, "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."
Math Is Hard
Nov7-04, 11:48 PM
OK, photon, you've read all the advice now, but I think it's time to move from theory to application.
Now, let's pretend I'm a young lady (I HEARD that, you guys - quit laughin'! :grumpy: ) at your school. You come up to me and say,
"Hey."
I say, "Hey." and then look down at my shoes. :shy:
Your move. What do you say? (Just throw something out there and we'll give you feedback.)
So, i haven't talked to you in a while...
Math Is Hard
Nov7-04, 11:59 PM
ok, I think that's good, BUT there's almost an implication there, like maybe she should feel guilty because she hasn't been around or hasn't talked to you. (But I over read things). Also, you are using a statement vs. a question, which doesn't require conversational response. Maybe try something like, "Hey, I haven't seen you around. Classes keeping you busy? What are you taking right now?" note: Last sentence is interrogative requiring her to respond, so it can keep the conversation flowing.
Any others want to give feedback on this?
and she says, "Yeah, I usually see you coming and can duck behind a garbage can."
and she says, "Yeah, I usually see you coming and can duck behind a garbage can."
i hate you. :biggrin: (and i mean that in the best possible way.)
Math is Hard:
Okay, sounds good. I want to sound like I care. How can I make her laugh after this exchange? She thinks I'm a riot.
Math Is Hard
Nov8-04, 12:16 AM
She thinks you're a riot? Well, then it's half in the bag! I think what you're stressing about is this pressure to be funny all the time - and you don't have to be! Would you want to be around someone who is making jokes constantly? (no offense, trib) It's perfectly ok to have non-humorous conversations with her. Just ENGAGE her in conversation. Let the comedy follow naturally. You want her to like you for YOU, right? But your natural sense of humor is not all there is to what makes you special - you're also very intelligent, sincere, and kind. You should let her see all of your great qualities, not just one.
Great! So I just sort of talk, sounding like I care, (i do care) and try to relax and go with the flow? I can handle that. I'll do just that when I see her tommorrow. But now, I'm gonna hit the sack, so I'll post updates tommorow afternoon.
Later :wink:
Math Is Hard
Nov8-04, 12:23 AM
yes, if you are at ease, you'll put her at ease. Then things will get moving.
good night. good luck!
Ivan Seeking
Nov8-04, 01:13 AM
The following line worked well for me: Do you need help giving that enema to your patient?
Math Is Hard
Nov8-04, 01:15 AM
The following line worked well for me: Do you need help giving that enema to your patient?
Is that how you met Tsu?? :rofl:
How romantic!!!
Ivan Seeking
Nov8-04, 01:17 AM
We spent our first date moving mobile CAT Scanners and doing ER patients. :tongue2:
Math Is Hard
Nov8-04, 01:22 AM
We spent our first date moving mobile CAT Scanners and doing ER patients. :tongue2:
That is SO cute! I'm always complaining I never meet any guys at work. :biggrin:
ok, I think that's good, BUT there's almost an implication there, like maybe she should feel guilty because she hasn't been around or hasn't talked to you. (But I over read things). Also, you are using a statement vs. a question, which doesn't require conversational response. Maybe try something like, "Hey, I haven't seen you around. Classes keeping you busy? What are you taking right now?" note: Last sentence is interrogative requiring her to respond, so it can keep the conversation flowing.
Any others want to give feedback on this?
So it's true, women analyze everything
P.S. Your all insane.
doing er patients? What the hell is "doing er patients?"
There are laws about that you know
Tribdog, ER stands for Emergency Room, so they were probably unconcious when they did them, thats OK
oh, if they were unconscious. nevermind
JasonRox
Nov8-04, 12:27 PM
It doesn't, but funny is easier. and funny is sexy. and if you are already laughing when you get dissed there is less danger of breaking down into tears.
He said awkwards silence, and not awkward moment of laughter.
It doesn't have to be funny right out of the blue all the damn time. If you try to hard to impress, you will find yourself stuck for the rest of your life.
I used to have difficulties, but I go over myself with stupid imagining bull****. Just talk and funny things come around. Your first line does not have be funny, since that may seem like you are trying to hard.
JasonRox
Nov8-04, 12:30 PM
So it's true, women analyze everything
P.S. Your all insane.
I analyze everything, but AFTER the event. Not so helpful, since you realize you are an idiot AFTER the event.
That is SO cute! I'm always complaining I never meet any guys at work. :biggrin:
All the girls I've met are from work. It makes it hard if they already have a boyfriend, however.
Math Is Hard
Nov8-04, 02:00 PM
So it's true, women analyze everything.
Not all women. That's a generalization. But I am definitely an over-analyzer, which probably has more to do with me being an analyst by profession than anything else. :smile:
P.S. Your all insane.
Who are you calling insane? :confused: All women? Or all of the posters to this thread?
All the girls I've met are from work. It makes it hard if they already have a boyfriend, however.
All the guys I work with are married or gay. :cry:
All the guys I work with are married or gay. :cry:
But never both, not in America. It's against the law.
theCandyman
Nov8-04, 05:42 PM
One question from me, what if the girl is significantly younger? I'm 18 and this girl is 14, very cute and I think very thoughtful in in intellectual way. I like her and when our mutual friends come chat me, she is with them but so quiet. Is she shy? Does she even like me?! (Not that I expect you to know, but does it sound that way?)
Don't be stupid. I'll call the cops on you myself. I better leave now because I'm already fighting with some lady in the duck post. I don't have the energy to handle this genius.
Moonbear
Nov8-04, 06:38 PM
But never both, not in America. It's against the law.
Y'know, now I've changed my mind from thinking they should be allowed to get married, to thinking the should be forced to get married! That way, all I need to do is scan for wedding bands and don't keep wasting my time flirting with cute gay men. :grumpy:
This always breaks the ice: lets shag! :wink:
:rofl:
Nice shoes! Wanna *&$%?
:rofl:
I say, "Hey." and then look down at my shoes. :shy:
BWAHAHAHA
*runs and hides, dodging rotting tomatos the whole way*
One question from me, what if the girl is significantly younger? I'm 18 and this girl is 14, very cute and I think very thoughtful in in intellectual way. I like her and when our mutual friends come chat me, she is with them but so quiet. Is she shy? Does she even like me?! (Not that I expect you to know, but does it sound that way?)
Dude, I knew this girl who is 16 and I'm 20. Man, while it was slightly going on (never did ask her out, well I did, but she somehow got a boyfriend then) I just kept worrying if the age difference mattered.
One question from me, what if the girl is significantly younger? I'm 18 and this girl is 14, very cute and I think very thoughtful in in intellectual way. I like her and when our mutual friends come chat me, she is with them but so quiet. Is she shy? Does she even like me?! (Not that I expect you to know, but does it sound that way?)I suggest you read this thread. http://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?t=47887
mathlete
Nov8-04, 09:38 PM
Talk about how the government is spying on you using satellites. Offer her a tin foil hat.
Math Is Hard
Nov8-04, 11:51 PM
Don't be stupid. I'll call the cops on you myself. I better leave now because I'm already fighting with some lady in the duck post. I don't have the energy to handle this genius.
hmm..there's just something very funny about the idea of tribdog fighting with a lady in a "duck" post. I gotta go look....
...
...
...
yep! FUNNY!!! :rofl:
Math Is Hard
Nov9-04, 12:06 AM
We spent our first date moving mobile CAT Scanners and doing ER patients. :tongue2:
By the way, if anyone sees me after a bad car crash dying by the side of the road, please put a bullet in my head immediately. I really don't want to wake up in Ivan and Tsu's "Enema-mobile". :surprised
JasonRox
Nov9-04, 11:30 AM
If you are 20 and can't pick up a 16 year old or 18 and can't pick up a 14 year old, that is sad.
Younger girls envy older guys. They try to act mature and normally they fool the dumb idiot male into thinking she's smart and what not.
Sad... :frown: Sad... :frown:
What to impress a girl?
Talk. This will work since you haven't talked before, and she will be an awe that you can speak.
Next. Try walking and talking.
I just wanna ask since i did onot know the laws back home yet:
I got the idea about over 18 going out with under 18, but if both under are 18..is that ok? Well, i guess it is not, but i just want to make sure...[ I spent most of my life living overseas...]
JasonRox
Nov9-04, 12:38 PM
No it is not ok.
In Canada, age of consent is 14. They are trying to change it, but I disagree because that cuases problems for certain situations. Especially during this generation where the females want "it" just as much or more than the males, so why should the male pay the price and be forced to make the "right" decision, while the females can do what they want since we know that males are the only ones that will be looked down at and the only ones to pay for it.
Not fair. Too late to bring this into legislation. Everything is good right now, let's not mess it up with stupid charges because your dumb slutty daughter wants it.
If you are 20 and can't pick up a 16 year old or 18 and can't pick up a 14 year old, that is sad.
Dude, I can't help it if she'd rather date a loser.
Photon, just be yourself and genuine. Do not hide your feeling or pretend you are someone else.
Don't constantly try to be funny if you are not. Don't pretend that you don't fancy her if you don't. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. We all learn from our own mistakes. But we learn better from others'.
Guys guys guys [every body is listening? :uhh: ok i will continue...]
Lets go back to the main track...i think the "branch" that we opened we spoke aboutit enough, aren't we? [quickly as last thingy to add:JasonRex, I agree totally with you, even I am "too young" to drink alcohol by the law...and don't have daughters yet! You speak diamonds! :smile: ]
Well, I have a problem: I was going out with a girl when i was in UK at high school...but after i came here to U.S ...we are kind of " not talking that much" and I do not what the heck prevent us! She went back home to Holland... [Well, i was in international school..] and when i speak on the phone...usually comes up with a very very very classical lines [How are you? How was the last couple of days? How Uni is goin...etc? Yeah some funny thingys might happenes, but i am now really noticing that the style is "solid" cuz you know how much disadvantage you are in when you speak at the phone and mising punches of event cuz of the "distance"....the problem now is i want to continue..and i am suspecting now that the interest in our relationship becoming less! I am in NO-WAY thinknig of break-up from my side... how i can keep this odd situation going???
Any help...plz :biggrin:
screen your calls, don't call her back, tell her you died, burn her house down, kill her dog. then she'll be distraught with horror that she'll break up with you. Problem solved :biggrin:
No no no , this way i will ruined it up to the MAX! A reason of which she took my attention at the beginning is cuz she from the kind that this trickey thingys will not on her...she respect me so much..but i know really well that as she knows me that i will never kiss "shoes" even the consequence is bad...she will not do as well! [ at least i guess...and i do not want to risk once to see if i am wrong here!]
The situation is kinda odd, ruined up..i know , but i have hope always :biggrin: [ is the last part sounds like Hollywood-ic movie? Nay..]
franznietzsche
Nov9-04, 11:15 PM
All three of those posts were riddled with such bad grammar that i could not make sense of either of them. I'm so lost...
Apologies, native speakers! :rolleyes:
Will simply to summerize last 3 thingy's up: That girl who i am going out with is now in another country from the one that i am in now..in the phone calls, there is not that much "lines" to speak..since it almost the same Q's and simialr A's as replies [How thingy's going? how is Uni? friend? Bla Bla Bla] The second voice advising if "not calling" for a period of time..but i think this will not help me, it might make thigny's even much worse...
Simply: Good pick-lines on the phone? With somebody you are seeing him now just in X-mas and summer holiday? I do not want to have boring conversions about "over talked" classical speeches on the phones..
Hope is it clear? [I am in a valley....and you are in another valley..i mean it in the best possible way :smile: ]
JasonRox
Nov10-04, 01:27 PM
Move on and at the same time keep in touch.
You would develop a much stronger relationship if you guys decided to meet up again.
By holding on this lame relationship (no offense), you are giving the image that you are worth **** and that you couldn't pick up **** in the country where you are. If I were dead ugly, I would hold on too, but I don't want to give the impression that I know I'm dead ugly or what not.
I am not saying you are ugly, but just simply stating the impression you MIGHT be giving.
If I were you, I'd split and have plans to meet up again. DON'T tell her about the plans. The next time you meet, the two of you will be all refreshed around each other rather than meeting up after 3 years of awkward telephone calls trying to keep it together. By no doubt, keep calling her for 3 years but open the doors for freedom and a better start in 3 years. This is your only shot at keeping her.
tribdog
Nov10-04, 08:24 PM
I'd suggest kidnapping her and keeping her in the basement. Only feed her if she's nice to you and you can see her whenever you like.
Math Is Hard
Nov10-04, 10:49 PM
Haven't heard from Photon in a while. Hope that's a GOOD thing!
I'd suggest kidnapping her and keeping her in the basement. Only feed her if she's nice to you and you can see her whenever you like.
Sounds like what me and Jimmy need to do.
Mmmm....
I have just read what you said JasonRex, and it make sense to me "at least until now.." well, even for me i found it really hard to come back after seeing her with other guys [or i might be feeling this now cuz she is with me now]
Well, it's not 3 years on the phone...its seeing each other twice each year for oart of christmas and summer holiday [Well, my family is living in the middle east now [Egypt] thus have to pass through Europe]...I can't say to her just "we are far a part...thus let's split" ... i found in the college now two girls who area "really my type" and they sounds interested but in different levels i guess...but still i cannot concetrate on more than one..even its far away....I know that she really knows i can get ones here [she knows from the high school we were since two 2 years]..and i really know that she can got some there..if she is not faithful...but thx for giving me some realistic bases and "launching" points to re-see the whole picture..really thank you..
Tribdog...well girls are not "thingys" that some use for fun, at least in my definition...I think and i am sure that I am right that girls are HUMANS i.e. not dogs we speak about to keep in basemants...unless X creature [dog?] is going out with dogs...and this is a diferent story :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:
jimmy p
Nov15-04, 01:58 PM
I'd suggest kidnapping her and keeping her in the basement. Only feed her if she's nice to you and you can see her whenever you like.
You'd be suprised how hard this is. I dont have a basement. If I want to see a girl all the time, I get a pair of binoculars and sit in a comfortable tree.
You'd be suprised how hard this is. I dont have a basement. If I want to see a girl all the time, I get a pair of binoculars and sit in a comfortable tree.
Make sure they are good quality binoculars. I can't tell you how hard it is to do this with some cheap ones. Maybe one with the digital camera on it would be good, too.
Hahaha..I will never do it, even if the girl make herself "Free exhibition" to all people...
There not something to see..if i do not really like her...why should i "look" at her without her "permission"
Still..i am trying to imgine how a person is watching by binoculars...hahaha :rofl:
jimmy p
Nov16-04, 12:05 PM
Well I originally tried setting up my own satellite, but you dont get as a satisfactory view with infra-red.
tribdog
Nov16-04, 02:16 PM
maybe not, but you get a better idea of how hot they are.
jimmy p
Nov17-04, 12:13 PM
maybe not, but you get a better idea of how hot they are.
That can work both ways then. The only problem with owning satellites is you get the urge to blast away whole cities with the Ion gun strapped to the side of it. Well I do anyway.
I'll just stick with mirrors on the toe caps of my shoes.
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