Does Trying to Help Sometimes Make Things Worse?

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Discussion Overview

The discussion revolves around the complexities and unintended consequences of trying to help others, illustrated through a series of anecdotes related to a coffee shop incident. Participants share personal experiences and reflections on the nature of good deeds, misunderstandings, and the reactions of others in various situations.

Discussion Character

  • Exploratory
  • Conceptual clarification
  • Debate/contested

Main Points Raised

  • One participant recounts an experience in a coffee shop where an attempt to help a man in distress led to a mix-up that upset another customer, raising questions about the effectiveness of good deeds.
  • Another participant humorously reflects on the need for coffee to cope with stressful situations, emphasizing the irony of the timing of events.
  • Some participants share their own experiences with service errors, suggesting that vendors should compensate customers for mistakes, while others express disappointment when this does not happen.
  • There are humorous exchanges about the nature of coffee orders and the absurdity of certain terms, like "barista," leading to light-hearted commentary on language and social norms.
  • A participant shares a story about confronting a meter man, illustrating the unpredictable nature of interactions with authority figures and the potential for escalating situations.
  • Another participant humorously critiques the original coffee order, suggesting that it might have contributed to the misunderstanding with the blind customer.

Areas of Agreement / Disagreement

Participants express a mix of agreement and disagreement regarding the outcomes of their attempts to help others. While some find humor in the situations, others reflect on the potential negative consequences of good intentions. The discussion remains unresolved regarding the effectiveness of good deeds and the reactions they provoke.

Contextual Notes

Limitations include the subjective nature of personal anecdotes and the varying interpretations of social interactions. The discussion does not resolve the complexities of helping behavior and its consequences.

Who May Find This Useful

Readers interested in social dynamics, the psychology of helping behavior, or those who enjoy humorous anecdotes about everyday life may find this discussion engaging.

Math Is Hard
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So I'm in the coffee shop today just about to place my order for my pomegranate-blueberry foo-foo latte thingy, when the guy ahead of me stops right in the middle of placing his order and bolts for the door. I see him dash across the street almost -but ah - not quite! in time to keep the meter man from ticketing his car. He was arguing and pleading with the man, but obviously getting nowhere.

In order to ring up my drink, the barrista had to first void out his order. She was having considerable difficulty doing this so I said "don't void that order, the guy's having a bad day- put his coffee on my bill." I figured he was sure to be back in a minute or two, he'd be in a horrible mood but this would be somewhat alleviated when much to his surprise the barrista would tell him that some stranger had already paid for his coffee. By then I'd be long gone, leaving a little sunshine & good karma in my wake. o:)

Unfortunately, parking-ticket man never returned to the coffee shop. Somehow, the barrista got confused and put the coffee of the guy who was behind me on my card. The guy behind me was blind. He thinks I'm crazy, starts thrusting money back at me. Oh, great I thought - now he's probably upset because he thinks some strange, stupid woman has bought him coffee as some sort of sympathetic gesture because of his disability. :redface: Whatever the case, he doesn't seem to happy with me.

The whole mix-up is holding up the line as I try to straighten everything out, going back and forth between the barrista and the man I just accidentally bought coffee for. The folks waiting in line, of course, were getting grumpy.

Moral of the story? I'm not sure there is one. But I'm $3.25 poorer. And I am thinking that I will probably stay out of the good deeds business for the rest of the day.
 
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And it really sucks when all that happens before you've had a chance to drink the coffee you so desperately need to deal with such a situation! :-p
 
Moonbear said:
And it really sucks when all that happens before you've had a chance to drink the coffee you so desperately need to deal with such a situation! :-p
Tell me about it! :smile:

well, I already went back on my word about no more good deeds for the day. I just found a stranded lady bug out in the hallway so I escorted her out to the balcony, and she flew off to freedom.
 
Math Is Hard said:
Tell me about it! :smile:

well, I already went back on my word about no more good deeds for the day. I just found a stranded lady bug out in the hallway so I escorted her out to the balcony, and she flew off to freedom.

Oh, that reminds me, I should start working on my share of the list of names for the ants and skunks that will need to be named soon! :smile:
 
Math Is Hard said:
So I'm in the coffee shop today... But I'm $3.25 poorer. And I am thinking that I will probably stay out of the good deeds business for the rest of the day.
Be thankful the guy behind you wasn't buying a Ferrari (they do sell those at Starbucks, don't they).
 
Moonbear said:
Oh, that reminds me, I should start working on my share of the list of names for the ants and skunks that will need to be named soon! :smile:
oh, yeah! It's Spring!
Moonbear said:
Be thankful the guy behind you wasn't buying a Ferrari (they do sell those at Starbucks, don't they).
Shoot, I guess there ain't much they don't sell these days. 'Bout like Amazon.com. :biggrin:
 
If ever there is an error by the vendor, they should make it up to the customer somehow. A week ago a friend and I ordered Chinese to go, and then went and bought groceries (okay, beer and wine) next door. We came back and the owner of the restaurant said a customer came in and inadvertently took our food--apparently the names were similar. It was rather funny, but then we had to sit and wait for our order to be prepared again. I thought maybe they would throw in something at no charge, but they didn't. Well, that's my business philosophy I guess...

At least all went well for the lady bug... :biggrin:
 
SOS2008 said:
If ever there is an error by the vendor, they should make it up to the customer somehow. A week ago a friend and I ordered Chinese to go, and then went and bought groceries (okay, beer and wine) next door. We came back and the owner of the restaurant said a customer came in and inadvertently took our food--apparently the names were similar. It was rather funny, but then we had to sit and wait for our order to be prepared again. I thought maybe they would throw in something at no charge, but they didn't. Well, that's my business philosophy I guess...

At least all went well for the lady bug... :biggrin:

I agree. At the Starbucks in the hospital, if they mess up an order and you have to wait for them to remake it, usually they'll give you a coupon for next time. Then again, they don't usually mess up my order because everyone who works there (except the one woman who just started last week) knows my name and my order (do you think I might drink too much coffee?). :biggrin:
 
SOS2008 said:
I thought maybe they would throw in something at no charge, but they didn't.
HOW LAME!

You know it's actually a good thing if someone accidentally picks up Tribdog's order. Someone else gets the food with the spit it in, and the cooks probably can't be bothered to spit in his food twice. :biggrin:

SOS2008 said:
At least all went well for the lady bug... :biggrin:
one hopes, anyway... :rolleyes:
 
  • #10
MIH, that was priceless. :biggrin:
 
  • #11
I'm shocked you used the term "Barista".
 
  • #12
Evo said:
MIH, that was priceless. :biggrin:
Thanks, Evo. I am going to do my best to be completely inconsiderate and unhelpful for the rest of the day. Kindness is for suckers.

Evo said:
I'm shocked you used the term "Barista".
er... that's not offensive, is it? :rolleyes:
 
  • #13
No - it's just a funny term. Like if McDonald's employees started calling themselves sandwich engineers.
 
  • #14
Math Is Hard said:
So I'm in the coffee shop today just about to place my order for my pomegranate-blueberry foo-foo latte thingy, when the guy ahead of me stops right in the middle of placing his order and bolts for the door. I see him dash across the street almost -but ah - not quite! in time to keep the meter man from ticketing his car. He was arguing and pleading with the man, but obviously getting nowhere.
Holy cow, that was you behind me in the line?

Actually, I asked the meter man how come we were wasting so much money on him when there was real crime to be fought. He then wrote a ticket for the crack in the windshield, saying it was unsafe.

Then I asked him if he was disabled from real crime fight. The police department only assigns the cripples and gimps to be metermen, right? He "accidently" brushed the headlight with his billy club and wrote a ticketfor a broken headlight.

I told him I knew that was no accident and I'd make sure he was kicked off the force for that. He broke the tail light and wrote a ticket for the broken tail light.

He asked me if I'd had enough. I looked around, then said "No, I guess not. You just don't intimidate me at all." He wrote a ticket for the worn tread on the tires.

He asked me again "Had enough yet?" I saw my friend driving up the street, so I said, "Yeah, here comes my ride. Boy, that guy's really going to be bummed when he sees how many tickets you gave him. Well, at least I tried to get him off. Win some, lose some, I guess. :smile: "
 
  • #15
pomegranate-blueberry foo-foo

I can't even fathom someone doing that to coffee. :eek: .you know that's why the blind guy wanted nothing to do with you..he heard you order.
 
  • #16
MIH, quit insulting the blind people!

BobG, now I know where to send the tickets.

When I was 19 and living with a roomate in a cheap apartment in LA, on one occasion we saw the neighbor beating on his wife. We ran over and grabbed the guy and threw him on the ground; only to be attacked by the wife!

A young guy living in the same complex was thrown out by his father. When he came knocking on our door at midnight asking for a place to sleep, claiming that he had nowhere to go but the street, we let him sleep on the couch. When we woke up, he and the money from our wallets were gone.
 
  • #17
SOS2008 said:
If ever there is an error by the vendor, they should make it up to the customer somehow. A week ago a friend and I ordered Chinese to go, and then went and bought groceries (okay, beer and wine) next door. We came back and the owner of the restaurant said a customer came in and inadvertently took our food--apparently the names were similar. It was rather funny, but then we had to sit and wait for our order to be prepared again. I thought maybe they would throw in something at no charge, but they didn't. Well, that's my business philosophy I guess...

At least all went well for the lady bug... :biggrin:

Why were you expecting something out of the deal?

That's bad karma isn't it?
 
  • #18
SOS's restaurant story reminded me of this. I was in one of those "chain" Mexican restaurants in Houston and put a forkful of refried beans in my mouth, as I started to swallow I started to choke, I reached into my mouth and proceeded to pull a long piece of what appeared to be part of a plastic bag out of my throat. I called the waitress over and showed her what I had almost choked on and she asked "so, you want more beans?" A brush with death and all I get is an offer of more beans.
 
  • #19
Oh m'gosh, BobG and Hypatia's posts made me laugh so hard! :smile:

JasonRox said:
Why were you expecting something out of the deal?

That's bad karma isn't it?
Because we were inconvenienced due to their mistake. Yes, it is bad karma for the vendor. I doubt I'll go back again...
 
  • #20
Evo said:
SOS's restaurant story reminded me of this. I was in one of those "chain" Mexican restaurants in Houston and put a forkful of refried beans in my mouth, as I started to swallow I started to choke, I reached into my mouth and proceeded to pull a long piece of what appeared to be part of a plastic bag out of my throat. I called the waitress over and showed her what I had almost choked on and she asked "so, you want more beans?" A brush with death and all I get is an offer of more beans.

Nearly as bad, one of my friends had gotten some Chinese food from one of those food court places and found a bug in it. When she brought it back, they asked if she wanted a fresh plate of the same food!
 
  • #21
Evo said:
SOS's restaurant story reminded me of this. I was in one of those "chain" Mexican restaurants in Houston and put a forkful of refried beans in my mouth, as I started to swallow I started to choke, I reached into my mouth and proceeded to pull a long piece of what appeared to be part of a plastic bag out of my throat. I called the waitress over and showed her what I had almost choked on and she asked "so, you want more beans?" A brush with death and all I get is an offer of more beans.

Ah - That must have been Pappasito's. Frijoles con Plastic is the specialty of the house. :biggrin:
 
  • #22
Moonbear said:
Nearly as bad, one of my friends had gotten some Chinese food from one of those food court places and found a bug in it. When she brought it back, they asked if she wanted a fresh plate of the same food!
I have a tendency to find odd things in food. Once I noticed a jar of Kraft grapefruit sections on a grocery store shelf was turning blue, I looked closer and saw a small sneaker (it was a keychain). Another time I picked up a 2 liter bottle of Dr Pepper at the store and there was a mosquito floating in it. I opened a can of Green Giant corn niblets and there was half a caterpillar in it.
 
  • #23
Evo said:
I have a tendency to find odd things in food. Once I noticed a jar of Kraft grapefruit sections on a grocery store shelf was turning blue, I looked closer and saw a small sneaker (it was a keychain). Another time I picked up a 2 liter bottle of Dr Pepper at the store and there was a mosquito floating in it. I opened a can of Green Giant corn niblets and there was half a caterpillar in it.

Eeeewww! I'm still suspicious that a can of tomatoes I opened once had a rat snout in it, but in the interest of preserving my appetite, I opted to just throw it out and not take a second look; I decided I'd rather not confirm what my first glance suggested it was. Little did I know at the time I could have made a small fortune from the discovery if I sued the company that canned it.

It wasn't too unusual to find odd objects in our dining hall food in college either. A band-aid was the nastiest.
 
  • #24
Math Is Hard said:
Ah - That must have been Pappasito's. Frijoles con Plastic is the specialty of the house. :biggrin:
:smile:

Evo said:
I have a tendency to find odd things in food. Once I noticed a jar of Kraft grapefruit sections on a grocery store shelf was turning blue, I looked closer and saw a small sneaker (it was a keychain). Another time I picked up a 2 liter bottle of Dr Pepper at the store and there was a mosquito floating in it. I opened a can of Green Giant corn niblets and there was half a caterpillar in it.
Um, I know we planned to meet for lunch this week, Evo, but something has come up and I can't make it. :smile: A key chain in a jar of grapefruit? :bugeye: Hey, caterpillar is considered a delicacy in some places you know.
 
  • #25
Moonbear said:
Eeeewww! I'm still suspicious that a can of tomatoes I opened once had a rat snout in it, but in the interest of preserving my appetite, I opted to just throw it out and not take a second look;
EEEEWWWWWWW! EEEEWWWWWWW!

That reminds me of the time I found a piece of fur in a can of tuna. I really should have done something about that one.

SOS, are you sure you can't make it? My treat! :-p

Math Is Hard said:
Ah - That must have been Pappasito's. Frijoles con Plastic is the specialty of the house.
:biggrin:
 
  • #26
Long ago my mother baked a keishe. My father was eating it and bit in half a big juicy beetle. We think it was hiding in the spinach. It is still a topic that comes up from time to time. She'll never live it down I'm afraid.
 
  • #27
Huckleberry said:
Long ago my mother baked a keishe. My father was eating it and bit in half a big juicy beetle. We think it was hiding in the spinach. It is still a topic that comes up from time to time. She'll never live it down I'm afraid.

She won't live it down? It's your dad who bit the beetle in half.
 
  • #28
juvenal said:
No - it's just a funny term. Like if McDonald's employees started calling themselves sandwich engineers.

Subway (sandwich shop) employ "Sandwich artists"...
Presumably they have to create something like an abstract sunset out of ham, lettuce and red onion (and a tomato for the sun!) before they can give you your food.
 
  • #29
Evo said:
That reminds me of the time I found a piece of fur in a can of tuna.
I thought that we left Sylvia back in the 'Weird Food' thread. :confused:
 
  • #30
well I guess I'll skip breakfast today.....
 

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