masterbating

[decibel]

i heard that someone can go blind from masterbaitng too much, is this true?....i also heard people can get serious back problems from it too

[Monique]

And you will get a cold when you go outside with wet hair, your face will freeze when you pull a weird facial expression at midnight, reading in the dark is bad for your eyes, spilling salt on the table means bad luck..

No worries, those are all old wives tales :)

[BoulderHead]

Originally posted by decibel
i heard that someone can go blind from masterbaitng too much, is this true?....
If it is, be sure and stop while you only need glasses. [6)]

[dduardo]

Monique, how would old wives know about male issues?

decibel, why don't you try and go outside once in a while. Maybe get a girlfriend.

[Rockazella]

heard that someone can go blind from masterbaitng too much, is this true?....i also heard people can get serious back problems from it too

...Where is Gale17 when you need her?

decibel,
Sorry I can't help with your question, but I'm sure you can expect numerous pages of info from Gale17 when she sees this...it's right up her alley

[Monique]

Originally posted by Rockazella
...Where is Gale17 when you need her? I was about to say the EXACT same thing!

[chroot]

ROFL!

- Warren

[Monique]

Originally posted by dduardo
Monique, how would old wives know about male issues? Who says it is a male issue?

[dduardo]

Originally posted by Monique
Who says it is a male issue?

Well, I was assuming decibel was a he. Now that you put it that way, whats your experience on the female side [6)]

[dduardo]

Originally posted by Rockazella
...Where is Gale17 when you need her?


I think she is trapped in a dishwasher.[;)]

[NateTG]

Originally posted by Monique
Who says it is a male issue?

Statistically, men apperar to masturbate significantly more than women:

http://www.indiana.edu/~kinsey/resources/FAQ.html#masturbation

[selfAdjoint]

I am 70 years old and neither blind nor crazy. And I'm normal.

99 out of a hundred people masturbate, and 100th one is a liar.

[BoulderHead]

As long as you can read this, you're probably ok.
Providing your back isn't killing you.

*semi-seriously now*

I have believed a few women when they informed me they never engaged in this activity, thinking it either vile, or never seeming to have thought about it in the first place. I have never, ever, known a man who hadn't done it.

Perhaps some statistics are available to determine if men need glasses more often than women?

[dduardo]

with or without glasses? Without glasses i'm screwed.

[iansmith]

Originally posted by decibel
i heard that someone can go blind from masterbaitng too much, is this true?....i also heard people can get serious back problems from it too

your palm can also become hairy[8)]

[Zantra]

Anyone who says they've never masturbated is either lying, or waaaaay too uptight. I bet 90 percent of that 11% of women who claim they never masturbated are lying

But I'm not the authority. I'm sure Dr Gale Westhiemer will be along shortly with her dissertation on sexual attitudes towards masturbation in new guinea subcultures. [;)]

[Njorl]

Originally posted by decibel
i heard that someone can go blind from masterbaitng too much, is this true?....i also heard people can get serious back problems from it too

Perhaps if you shot yourself in the eye [g)] repeatedly.

If you're doing that ... um ... stop.

Njorl

[decibel]

chill out kids, i was just askin a question, doesent mean i dont masterbait 24/7,but thx for the insight guys, u guys seem to know about more about this than me, cant wait till i see wut "gale17" says lool

[NateTG]

Excessive masturbation can be a problem, but really only if it interfere's with other parts of your sex life, or leads to desensitization.

[one_raven]

Originally posted by NateTG
Excessive masturbation can be a problem, but really only if it interfere's with other parts of your sex life, or leads to desensitization.

Then again, a lot of women will tell you that male desensitization is a good thing. [;)]

[Zero]

Did we really need a thread of this type?

[Adrian Baker]

Originally posted by Zero
Did we really need a thread of this type?

I tend to agree with you here zero....

[HAVOC451]

I was kinda hoping for helpfull hints by people that are really good at enticing mice into traps. [6)]

[jimmy p]

...and i clicked on this thread cos i thought it was an interesting name to draw people in because they only pretend not to be curious, but no, u ARE actually talking about masturbation. oh well. I have often been informed by one of my friends that he can reach his chest with his...load. so he has no worries about sticking his eyelashes together..

what i HAVE heard about masturbation is that

- People who masturbate often are usually better in the sack
- Like sex, masturbation is good for the body because it removes the toxins/stimulates production of endorphines/whitens your teeth in your sleep of whatever happens

so happy self stimulation everyone! [6)]

[chroot]

Originally posted by Zero
Did we really need a thread of this type?
And even if we did, couldn't we have at least spelled it properly?

- Warren

[Andy]

LOL! Maybe it does have an affect on eyesight.

[dduardo]

Since this is a science forum maybe we could scientifically answer decibel's questions. Perhaps a lab experiment could bring insight into this subject. Decibel has already proposed the hypothesis in his questions. All that is need to do now is setup the experiment and write up a lab report with the following sections - purpose, procedure, equipment, data and calculations, graphs, error anaylsis and conclusion.

Whoever decides to do this can submit their findings to this thread.

[jimmy p]

what do you mean? should we inject sperm into peoples eyes and see

a) what happens when sperm enters the eye
b) How many colours of faeces can be beaten out of you

Do we measure body proportions and projectile distance to see if it is actually possible for sperm to enter the eye? Or do we find a subtle undiscovered link between the penis (hehe) and the eyes or back? For that matter, how does masturbation cause back problems, unless you masturbate in awkward spine twisting positions...

OOH see the effect of masturbating while

a) Reading the Kama Sutra and 'having a go yourself'
b) Masturbation while practising back-wrenching yoga'
c) A mixture of both

Who wants to volunteer first?

[chroot]

Originally posted by dduardo
All that is need to do now is... and conclusion.
Imagine a jar sitting there on the table in front of a nice three-panel science fair presentation. The jar is labeled "Jar of Conclusions."

Better yet, you could recycle the conclusion and use it to glue the papers to your nice three-panel science fair presentation.

- Warren

[dduardo]

chroot, thats a great idea. We could then sell our secret super adhesive formula to the Scotch Tape company. We'll be millionaires in no time.

[decibel]

ok i have an idea, here it is
someone in this forum masterbaites 7 times a day for 7 days, and then tell us the effects

deal?

[selfAdjoint]

Originally posted by Andy
LOL! Maybe it does have an affect on eyesight.

You keep doing that and you'll develop dyslexia!

Sounds worse than hairy palms, or (I seem to remember) zits.

[chroot]

Originally posted by selfAdjoint
You keep doing that and you'll develop dyslexia!
What's lysdexia?

- Warren

[BoulderHead]

Originally posted by chroot
What's lysdexia?

- Warren [:D] [:D]

[Jonathan]

LOL, lysdexia[:))]

Furthermore, I can't believe I actually agree with Zero! This really is a crazy universe!

How did I not notice Gale17 was gone?!

selfAdjoint is 70?! He/she's got to be one of like three 70yo on the whole net.

[Jonathan]

Monique(?) said that 'reading in the dark gives you bad eyesight' is an old wives tale, that's not true is it? It makes sense to me. And lets not forget that not all old wives tales are not true, they proved the one about 'starving a flu and feeding a cold' (I think that's how it goes).

[Monique]

The only thing is that you'd have to strain your eyes, since it is difficult to focus in the dark. The difficulty of focussing can give you a headache or tired eyes, but it won't cause damage.

[Kerrie]

Originally posted by Zero
Did we really need a thread of this type?

absolutely...no need to make such an important and frequent act shameful...[:D]

[dduardo]

Originally posted by Kerrie
absolutely...no need to make such an important and frequent act shameful...[:D]

Kerrie, sounds like you have quite a bit of experience. Perhaps you would be interested in participating in a scientific endevour pertaining to the effects of frequent masturbation. jimmy p has outlined a possible procedure for males. Now we need someone from the opposite sex to propose a procedure for the females.

[Kerrie]

Kerrie, sounds like you have quite a bit of experience. Perhaps you would be interested in participating in a scientific endevour pertaining to the effects of frequent masturbation. jimmy p has outlined a possible procedure for males. Now we need someone from the opposite sex to propose a procedure for the females.

dduardo...sounds like you have an avid interest in female masturbation due to the lack of female contact in your own social life...perhaps you can acquire a little class and discuss this subject with more maturity[;)]

[Sonty]

http://www.geocities.com/afpurity/
http://www.teenoutreach.com/Online_Help/se/mas.htm
http://www.porn-free.org/

I'll be back.

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Kerrie
dduardo...sounds like you have an avid interest in female masturbation due to the lack of female contact in your own social life...perhaps you can acquire a little class and discuss this subject with more maturity[;)]

I wouldn't say that's odd.. In fact I think it's safe to say that ALL guys have a fascination with female masturbation[;)]

I too would love to examine this study.. bet the Kinsey report will have nothing on it.[:D]

[decibel]

so i see i was RIGHT, it does make you go blind, as sonny proved in his post, but it seems rather unofficial

[Monique]

Originally posted by decibel
so i see i was RIGHT, it does make you go blind, as sonny proved in his post, but it seems rather unofficial [?] if I write the opposite, is it proven too? Just to get the facts straight, if mastrubation makes you go blind, intercourse would too.

You guys seem so perverted talking about it.. many experiments have been done on people having intercourse, it is not a wild thing. In the Biology forum there was a thread, where researchers looked at neural brain activity during orgasm.

[Andy]

HEEHEE, she said the O word!

[chroot]

Monique,

You said intercourse... heh heh.... twice... heh... heh heh...

- Warren

[Andy]

lol that worked well! [g)]

[Gale]

SO with my return i wonder which thread i should post in first....

yeah no competition... MASTURBATION...

anyways, to any one who's actually interested, i've actually been doing a pretty serious study of masturbation. I'm thinking of writing a paper sometime. On the side, i've also been delving into orgasms in general. Especially the differenced between 'g-pot' orgasms, and the traditional orgasm. Also, just for fun i've still been toying with "mental sex" and "mental orgasms" and i think i may be able to verify at the very least "mental masturbation."

Also, i thought about putting some info about female orgasms here... but after rereading what i'd written... i think it may have been too informative...

[Andy]

Gon on love, share your thoughts with the rest of us.

[NateTG]

Originally posted by Monique
Just to get the facts straight, if mastrubation makes you go blind, intercourse would too.

Actually, there are indications that the two are physiologically different.

I think it was in an article in nature in '98 or something linke that.

[rick1138]

Masturbation is a lot more fun if you have someone to do it with.

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Gale17
SO with my return i wonder which thread i should post in first....

yeah no competition... MASTURBATION...

anyways, to any one who's actually interested, i've actually been doing a pretty serious study of masturbation. I'm thinking of writing a paper sometime. On the side, i've also been delving into orgasms in general. Especially the differenced between 'g-pot' orgasms, and the traditional orgasm. Also, just for fun i've still been toying with "mental sex" and "mental orgasms" and i think i may be able to verify at the very least "mental masturbation."

Also, i thought about putting some info about female orgasms here... but after rereading what i'd written... i think it may have been too informative...

Hey, if you're gonna start, you might as well finish.. No one likes to be left hanging[;)] Besides, you know all the guys are hanging on your post.[t)]

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Monique
[?] if I write the opposite, is it proven too? Just to get the facts straight, if mastrubation makes you go blind, intercourse would too.

You guys seem so perverted talking about it.. many experiments have been done on people having intercourse, it is not a wild thing. In the Biology forum there was a thread, where researchers looked at neural brain activity during orgasm.

Got a link to that study? I'm actually interested in that part about the neural activity.

[NateTG]

http://www.paradise-engineering.com/brain/

Should have enough info to get you started.

[Adrian Baker]

Wasn't it Woody Allen who described masturbation as "sex with someone you love"?

[dduardo]

Originally posted by Kerrie
dduardo...sounds like you have an avid interest in female masturbation due to the lack of female contact in your own social life...perhaps you can acquire a little class and discuss this subject with more maturity[;)]

Wow, that was harsh. You won't be seeing anymore photoshopped pictures of you from me anymore.[g)]

Talking about maturity see Andy and chroot's reply to Monique. lol

Originally posted by Gale17
Also, i thought about putting some info about female orgasms here... but after rereading what i'd written... i think it may have been too informative...

Perhaps....

[rick1138]

Originally posted by Gale17:
Also, i thought about putting some info about female orgasms here... but after rereading what i'd written... i think it may have been too informative...

I've already conducted several of my own, uh, studies. On another note, spending the day reading about the stress energy-tensor in curved spacetimes is making me feel that I need to release some of my own energy.

[Kerrie]

Originally posted by dduardo
Wow, that was harsh. You won't be seeing anymore photoshopped pictures of you from me anymore.[g)]

Talking about maturity see Andy and chroot's reply to Monique. lol



good, because the your photo enhanced picture didn't flatter me anyway...[o)]

[Gale]

i was reading about fantasies the other day, and came across an interesting fact. People who fantasize often, and have vivid detailed fantasies are usually more intelligent than those who don't. Kinda makes you wonder about the kind of things einstein thought about... or all them other genius'.... hmm... guess i must be a genius too then [;)]

And since i'm not sure where else in pf i could say this...
"if you don't believe in oral sex..... shut yo mouth!"

[rick1138]

That is why I stick to shy girls who hang out in bookstores - very rich fantasy lives. In fact I'm a genius, because I work in a bookstore, it's my job to walk up to such girls and help them find what they are looking for.

[decibel]

i bet if it did make you blind, half the people in this forum wouldent be here would they?

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Gale17
i was reading about fantasies the other day, and came across an interesting fact. People who fantasize often, and have vivid detailed fantasies are usually more intelligent than those who don't. Kinda makes you wonder about the kind of things einstein thought about... or all them other genius'.... hmm... guess i must be a genius too then [;)]

And since i'm not sure where else in pf i could say this...
"if you don't believe in oral sex..... shut yo mouth!"

*raises his hand*

I believe, I believe! [a)]

[jimmy p]

...bunch of w*nkers (NOT winkers!) lol. man you guys have been busy since last night, mustnt have been any time to experiment if you are all typing posts on here...

Thinking of a female experiment huh?

Well we could get a willing female to masturbate, and i suppose to make it a fair test, male scientists should study seeing as they are the only ones to admit to the act! Anyway the subject shoud continue while the male observers should hold up eye charts and see if there is any degradation of eyesight over a period...say a couple of hours... lol

Any volunteers? (not so fast Gale!!)

ps. im heading the science team for this experiment.
[;)]

[dduardo]

Originally posted by jimmy p
.Any volunteers? (not so fast Gale!!)

Dude, you know there are laws. You could be put in jail for requesting that type of stuff from a minor.

Shame on you.

rick1138, good advice. Maybe I should start visiting B&N more often and act like an employee.

[jimmy p]

Hey Hey Hey, im a minor too...if depending on the age of a minor (18 or 21?) Besides it wasnt a request for her! (not so fast Gale!!)..as in dont

[dduardo]

well, not so fast in the United States means: "don't try to escape." Therefore I thought you implied she couldn't escape from volunteering.

Also in the US, a minor is anyone under 18 for sex. Under 21 your a minor for alcohol.

[edit] Just saw this picture and thought It was a good representation of men versus women:

Here is the new link:

http://umsis.miami.edu/~dduardo/post-48-1067187458.jpg

[jimmy p]

ah the old communication problem again...yes looking back at that it was kinda badly worded wasnt it? [g)]

ps. cant access that pic, says i dont permission or something? do you have to be registered to neowin or something?

[Artman]

I seem to remember that there was a study that linked blood pressure problems to improper breathing during masturbation. Many people hold their breath during the act and don't realize they are doing it.

So remember girls, during the experiment, keep breathing. [6)] And guys, after observing the female experiment, don't forget to breathe. [g)]

[BoulderHead]

Originally posted by Adrian Baker
Wasn't it Woody Allen who described masturbation as "sex with someone you love"?
I thought he was talking about parenting. [:D]

[Artman]

Originally posted by BoulderHead
I thought he was talking about parenting. [:D]

Oooo. I get this. [!:)] Naughty Boulderhead! [o)]

[BoulderHead]

Naughty Woody !
{pun intended)

[Sonty]

Originally posted by dduardo
jimmy p has outlined a possible procedure for males. Now we need someone from the opposite sex to propose a procedure for the females.

and when we're done with those should we proceed to SHEmales?

[Artman]

Originally posted by BoulderHead
Naughty Woody !
{pun intended)

LMAO!! And I'm at Work no less!

[dduardo]

Originally posted by Sonty
and when we're done with those should we proceed to SHEmales?

I'm not going to touch that with a 10 foot pole ( No pun intented) [g)]

[jimmy p]

hmmmm...wouldnt she-males be the same as males??? Except that no-one has to watch, we'll just take the she-males word for it! unless anyone is into that sort of thing [o)]

maybe i should have done what dduardo is doing and keeping away from the subject. I'm gonna have nightmares when i [zz)] tonight!

[Gale]

well dduardo, actually in new hampshire... where i live, the law is 17 and under for sex, plus the age difference rule, 5 years or 3 i forget... aside from that... we're talking about scientific reaseach for the benifit of all mankind!

but hey jimmy! who says i'd by first to jump up and play the masturbating female guinea pig??? not to say i wouldn't.... it depends who's watching... hahaha... i mean, anything in the name of science right?

[russ_watters]

Originally posted by Gale17
[B]People who fantasize often, and have vivid detailed fantasies are usually more intelligent than those who don't. Kinda makes you wonder about the kind of things einstein thought about... or all them other genius'.... hmm... guess i must be a genius too then [;)] Einstein probably fantasized about sexy equations. So even his more personal efforts were focused toward science.

Ever see the Seinfeld episode where George stops having sex and becomes a genius and Elaine does too and becomes an idiot?

[Monique]

Originally posted by russ_watters
Ever see the Seinfeld episode where George stops having sex and becomes a genius and Elaine does too and becomes an idiot? Yes, I saw it, that was funny :)

[jimmy p]

LOL thats the spirit Gale! though i wouldnt want the research rejected because it was morally wrong as the test subject was too young...it would have to take place in New Hampshire cos english rules are odd.

Lol and of course i would be head of the team so i would have to do some recording (watching results)...maybe the research should be postponed till after your birthday. Or of course to save getting in trouble we would recruit elsewhere, i mean im [a)], im hip and young, it should be no problem getting ppl in for research... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (prob shouldnt have added that bit) [!:)]

Im on Gales signature, do dodo do do DOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

ps. the silly rules for Britain..you are legally allowed to have sex at 16 but cant watch x-rated videos/by magazines until you are 18. So technically if you filmed yourself at 16 having intercourse you legally couldnt watch it until 2 years later!

[Andy]

Laws suck, and so does sonty's post, wtf was that about?

[jimmy p]

Originally posted by Andy
Laws suck, and so does sonty's post, wtf was that about?

be afraid, be very afraid!! lol. I'm not sure what would possess someone to ask that...someone always has to push the swing too hard to watch the kid fly. tch![;)]

[rick1138]

Okay since this is a math/science forum I think that we need to quantify the activities being described. So what is the value of n where n represents the number of times a day that you masturbate? In this case n >= 3.

[megashawn]

At the rate described above, how many days does it take you to develop a new calous?




I'm still shocked there is a 7 page long topic about masterbation.

lol

[jimmy p]

Originally posted by megashawn
At the rate described above, how many days does it take you to develop a new calous?




I'm still shocked there is a 7 page long topic about masterbation.

lol

LOL thats pretty funny!! I suppose it is an interesting topic...? Maybe a lot of people have experience they want to share with everyone

[Jonathan]

Wow this thread moves fast! First of all, I found Gale's openness to the testing a little disturbing, unless that was a joke, can't tell how serious you were.
russ, I saw that Seinfeld episode, it was great! I liked the trash bag analogy, LOL!
jimmy, those laws are nuts, and so are the ones about the press, given the recent accussations that are about something, against someone, and involving someone else, but are denied anyway. [:))] Luckily, I live in the US and know everything they thought was worth reporting on it (which isn't much though, I think everyone has already forgot).
Why does jimmy want to be in Gale's signature so bad? Why does everyone change their signatures so often?

[Sonty]

Originally posted by Andy
Laws suck, and so does sonty's post, wtf was that about?

that started off as a pun. then i realised it was stupid and it kind of makes you puke. i realised i could throw some **** towards the fan and see how it splatters around.

Originally posted by jimmy p
someone always has to push the swing too hard to watch the kid fly

it would be the best unpleasant experience in his life, wouldn't it? don't just watch, take pictures!!! A sadistic laugh would be in order...

Originally posted by Gale17
People who fantasize often, and have vivid detailed fantasies are usually more intelligent than those who don't. Kinda makes you wonder about the kind of things einstein thought about... or all them other genius'.... hmm... guess i must be a genius too then

There's a bit of tantric stuff in there. Redirect your sexual energy towards science... Does anyone keep some paper and a pen close when having sex? Then could you describe them as sex toys?

[Gale]

Originally posted by Jonathan
Wow this thread moves fast! First of all, I found Gale's openness to the testing a little disturbing, unless that was a joke, can't tell how serious you were.

...<snip>

Why does jimmy want to be in Gale's signature so bad? Why does everyone change their signatures so often?

lol, i always tend to be a bit disturbing in these threads... awell, maybe i was kidding, maybe i wasn't. Either way it takes away from my fun if i tell you, so you'll have to guess...


And jimmy wants to be in my sig so bad cause i'm awesome and who wouldn't want a mention? Maybe you missed something johnny boy, but yeah, i'm awesome! [:D] [6)]

and everyone changes their sigs so often cause i do, and i'm so cool and everyone wants to be like me! ...on second note, anyone else think i'm a but too cocky? ...people must change them for the same reasons i do... they just feel like something new, and my case, i want something new like every other day...

[Zantra]

*coughegocough*

Anyways... ya I wouldn't want to be you, because I'd never leave my house[;)] (so it doesn't sound like I'm being mean to gale-I know the gale fan club is strong [t)] the obvious 2nd part to this is that I'd spend all playing with myself

But hey, you have to give us more[;)][;)]

[decibel]

OK.but no one hasent REALLY answered my question.......................................... ................................................DO ES MASTERBATION MAKE YOU GO BLIND?

[rick1138]

No, I have perfect vision.

[Gale]

Originally posted by decibel
OK.but no one hasent REALLY answered my question.......................................... ................................................DO ES MASTERBATION MAKE YOU GO BLIND?



...double negative there....

But yeah, nope. You're ok decimal. You may masturbate to your hearts desire without very severe side effects.

[hypnagogue]

Without very severe side-effects. lol. Is there a word for something that is reassuring and ominous at the same time?

[Zantra]

Originally posted by hypnagogue
Without very severe side-effects. lol. Is there a word for something that is reassuring and ominous at the same time?

A girl who's free for the night(it's the most expensive thing in the world)[;)]

[Zantra]

geez decibel.. you haven't figured that out yet? Now go take care of business while I call the seeing eye dog people!

[Jonathan]

I found sonty's post confusing, what does a paper and pen have to do with anything?
Gale's wishy-washy answer is just as unnerving as the first.
decibel, it won't make you go blind, "but the more often you do it the less meaningful it becomes." (Dr. Frasier Crane)
Or something to that effect, I just love that Frasier.

[Andy]

Beat Beat Beat the MEAT!

[decibel]

hey screw u ****ers, lol, ur crazy if u think i'm a "beat the meat freak"...just a question u know, lol

[revesz]

No, I have perfect vision.
and I have cronic back pain.

[renedox]

Originally posted by decibel
hey screw u ****ers

Nah, I think I'll do it myself :P

[rick1138]

hey screw u ****ers, lol, ur crazy if u think i'm a "beat the meat freak"...just a question u know, lol






Well, I think a transitive relationship has been established: frequent masturbation ==> rich fantasy life ==> high intellegence. Considering again that this is a math and science forum, isn't this something that you would want to brag about?



Nah, I think I'll do it myself :P

Best response of the whole thread.

[decibel]

THE END

[rick1138]

Nyet tavarisch.

[Jonathan]

No, not the end, how do we know that it goes in the order described in rick1138's second to last response? How do we know that it doesn't only go in the reverse direction, so that smart begets frequent, but frequent doesn't beget smart?

[jimmy p]

Lol how can you end such an amazingly popular thread... NO NO we ARE going to continue! MASTURBATION MASTURBATION MASTURBATION!!

[Andy]

Yea i will join you with ur masturbating!

[Zantra]

Is it just me or do we really need to get more women on these boards?

[dduardo]

Originally posted by Zantra
Is it just me or do we really need to get more women on these boards?

I think we need more women in general. [:D]

[rick1138]

I agree, we always need more women.

[Zantra]

Well we're scientists dammit, let's use the scientific method to develop a method for getting more women!

[Gale]

hahaha... i bet you guys wouldn't know what to do if there were more women around here. i think i scare yall enough as is [;)] [6)]

[revesz]

NO NO we ARE going to continue! MASTURBATION MASTURBATION MASTURBATION!! Yea i will join you with ur masturbating! In the same room?lol[:D]

[Monique]

Originally posted by Zantra
Is it just me or do we really need to get more women on these boards? OMG, after reading the level to which this thread has degraded itself too.. Emotional maturity guys! Let's start a thread about feces so that you guys can say the word POO as many times as you want.. unbelievable :S

[radagast]

Originally posted by Gale17
hahaha... i bet you guys wouldn't know what to do if there were more women around here.

Perhaps, but I'd love the opportunity to figure it out.

You go ahead and keep scaring us, Gale. Any time you feel the urge. :)

[chroot]

Originally posted by Monique
Let's start a thread about feces so that you guys can say the word POO as many times as you want.. unbelievable :S
Woooah killer idea Monique!

- Warren

[jimmy p]

Originally posted by Monique
OMG, after reading the level to which this thread has degraded itself too.. Emotional maturity guys! Let's start a thread about feces so that you guys can say the word POO as many times as you want.. unbelievable :S

Only if it can be about urine so we can say WEE and rectums so we can say *tee hee hee* BUM!!! hehe i said bum. LOL i have no need to worry about scaring girls, because i dont act like i pretend to know something about physics outside of this forum, so i seem normal instead of a nerd [a)] [a)] [a)] [6)] [;)] [:D] (overkill on smileys!)

[Zantra]

Keep it going guys! don't let the cause die!


LONG LIVE MASTURBATION!!

[Jonathan]

Wow, I didn't want to start a protest, are you all going to march on Washington? LOL...That reminds me of a South Park where Cartman pretends to be General Lee(or was it Grant?) and force Clinton to sign a bill to change history so that the Confederacy won and that way Stan and Kyle would become his slaves...man those shows are weird, how do they come up with it?

[Zantra]

Yes, this masturbation thread must go on at all costs

I just want to see it become the thread that won't die.


PS, I hate you kyle and stan/

[Sonty]

Originally posted by Jonathan
man those shows are weird, how do they come up with it?

what do you mean how? it's easy: tantric masturbation.

[Artman]

Originally posted by Monique
OMG, after reading the level to which this thread has degraded itself too.. Emotional maturity guys! Let's start a thread about feces so that you guys can say the word POO as many times as you want.. unbelievable :S

Since this is a Physics forum, perhaps we should start a thread about the rings around Uranus and just sit back and watch the giggles start. [:D]

[jimmy p]

LOL...uranus...rings..heheh *beavis and butthead style laughter*

MASTURBATION!!

[LURCH]

I believe that most myths have a basis in fact. I once read a ststement by an historian that the myth about masturbation causing insanity actually started in assylums, because mental patients tend to masturbate more frequently than most people. Or, more correctly, they are observed to masturbate more frequently than most people. Many mental illnesses manifest themselves in the inability to controll impulse, so when a mentally ill person gets an urge, they tend to act on it without thought to the ramifications of their actions. Less restraint or self-controll, or a lack of any concept of privacy makes one more likely to be observed. But workers in these facilities see the inmates engageing in self-gratification, and the connection seemed obvious enough.

I think the myth about vision-impairment explains itself. Vission tends to become impaired during the actual act.

However, the only health problem ever shown to have a direct causal relationship with masturbation is premature ejaculation. Aside from that, regular release (self-induced or otherwise) has been shown to be benificial for lowering blood-pressure, relieving stress, and, according to a recent study by Masters-n-Johnson, it even decreases the risk of prostate and testicular cancer in men.

AFAIK, however, it has not been shown to have any direct corralation to the risk of prostate or testicular cancer in women.

[megashawn]

man those shows are weird, how do they come up with it?

good drugs.


As to masturbation making you blind, I don't think it can permanently blind you, but a bad aim might blind you temporarily.

[Artman]

I have discovered this interesting picture of Newton. Please notice that in this picture he appears to have three hands one of which is engaged in possible self gratification. Kind of helps to explain how he accomplished so much in his life. (Even with one hand busy, he still had two hands free! [:D])

And we can assume he had decent vision because he invented the reflecting telescope and performed many optical experiments. [:D]

http://einstein.stanford.edu/STEP/information/data/newton.jpg

[decibel]

LOL..haha..maybe thats how we devoloped the lays of gravity

[phoenixthoth]

had a question about the usage of the word masturbating.

does it make sense to say "the priest was caught masturbating an alter boy?" i've heard masturbating used in reference to sex acts other than with one's self. is this grammatically correct?

i ask because there's a song by nile called "masturbating the war god" (excellent song, btw) and i'm wondering if it is grammatically incorrect or if the implication is that YOU are the war god. i'm trying to figure out what nile is really getting at.

[Jonathan]

phoenixthoth: I have no idea, go to http://www.m-w.com and look it up. I won't though, I don't know that they don't keep track of what words are looked up and, probably with cookies, by whom.
Artman: That is a kinda funny picture, did you go out looking for it, or did you look at it and it just hit you that it should be on this thread? If the latter, I don't know how you made that leap, that fact that it is obviously a glove would have made it impossible for me to see any connection between this tread and it.
megashawn et al.: What is with you all? It would never have occurred to me that blindness might be caused that way, and yet several people have brought that up. If I was asked to assume that it was true, and then to provide an explaination, I would have gone for something like it being related to some interaction between hormones, neurotransmitters, and the biochemical processes of vision that would be detrimental to sight or something.

[kleinphi]

Regarding reduced risk of prostate cancer and testicular cancer in people who say they masturbate, how about this theory:

Everyone masturbates, but only x% of questioned males admit to it. The others feel what they do is bad and needs to be hidden, therefore they do not answer honestly. These same people are more likely to develop cancer because of this inner conflict. If anything has been proven about cancer it is that people who have bad thoughts about themselves and keep these thoughts to themselves are more likely to contract it.

Why has a correlation been observed for only the two types of cancer mentioned in the study? --- I have never actually seen the study, so I don't know, but my guess would be that the author only looked for a correlation with these two types of cancer because anything else would have seemed too far-fetched.

[Guybrush Threepwood]

Originally posted by kleinphi
If anything has been proven about cancer it is that people who have bad thoughts about themselves and keep these thoughts to themselves are more likely to contract it.


could you give a reference to that?

[Sniper__1]

also statistically women are less open about thier sexuallity than males adn they lie more often but make smaller lies.

[Jonathan]

Sniper_1:You are aware that it is not possible for women to get testicular and prostate cancer, aren't you?
Guybrush etc.: though what was said was technically true, that is not the reason. It is because our bodies have a use it or lose it tendancy. I have not seen the study that says that people with pent up emotions are less healthy, but I have no doubt it is true. people with pent up emotions are a bazillion times more likely to take part in unhealthy and self destructive behavior, and become addicted to all sorts of things. I bet there are many studies on that (I have none on me though), and that kleinphi's post was refering to these in general.

[phoenixthoth]

it is definitely not the case that everyone masurbates. if that were true, it would have interesting implications. the pope. jesus. barbera bush. stephen hawking. the local gentry at your favorite church. women over 90. children under 6 months.

i'm wondering how it's determined what percent of people lie on a questionare.

[jimmy p]

thats hardly fair on steven hawking, i'm sure that if he could, he would, however married to a supermodel, i doubt he would need to worry much, he has his dream come true!

Anyway, don't you think Steven Hawking is pretentious, i mean, he comes from Kent yet he talks with an American accent lol

[chroot]

Hawking? Supermodel?

- Warren

[jimmy p]

yeah, isnt steven hawking married to a supermodel or something?

[chroot]

Originally posted by jimmy p
yeah, isnt steven hawking married to a supermodel or something?
Uh, no.

- Warren

[Jonathan]

Then why did you say that? Why did it even come to mind? Jimmy, you're nuts, do you even know who Steven Hawking is? No, I'm not talking about the accent joke, obviously, but a supermodel?

EDIT: Never mind the first part above, that was refering to a post that has been deleted I guess.

[phoenixthoth]

that it was deleted just demonstrates how unpleasant an image it was. i guess it's even more an unpleasant image to have while masturbating. that would have to be like dictionary definition of deviant and sick. when they hook up those electrodes to kobe bryant's genitals to see how aroused he gets from various imagry to see how deviant he is, and hence how long to lock him up, he can always go back to bush and powell making sweet sweet love. i imagine it works even better than baseball or deliverance imagry.

[decibel]

this thread will never die will it?

[Jonathan]

NEVER!
















(No, actually I don't care.)

[jimmy p]

yes i know who Steven Hawking is. So who IS he married to? It's someone beautiful isnt it? Dammit why am i always a source of misinformation?? (see the talent[less]) thread!

[dduardo]

This is what I know:

Hawking's married some lady and had some kids. He got sick and left his wife for his personal nurse.

[jimmy p]

woah, the dirty dog!

[Jonathan]

First, I didn't know he was ever married.
Second, this has degenerated even lower, we're almost Jerry Springer low now.

[phoenixthoth]

it's got almost 2900 views so far. interesting how that compares to the physics topics (for instance).

maybe they should make this a sticky!

[decibel]

very popular topic lol....lets just call it the never-ending thread

[jimmy p]

Just to keep on subject, do you reckon Steven Hawking masturbated before he fell ill lol.

Indeed this is a never ending thread, maybe we should turn it into a film... and then have sequels..

(How can you have 'The Never Ending Story 2')???????????

[Lonewolf]

maybe they should make this a sticky!

Funny you should mention that in a topic about masturbation...

[revesz]

Iknow this has nothing to do with masterbation but...

who is Stephen Hawking, what did he do, and why does he look like that?

Is he that guy that was in the simpsons?(with the talking wheelchair)

[chroot]

I'd pay serious cash to see Stephen Hawking get in a fight on the Jerry Springer show. (woot woot woot)

- Warren

[Zantra]

Originally posted by revesz
Iknow this has nothing to do with masterbation but...

who is Stephen Hawking, what did he do, and why does he look like that?

Is he that guy that was in the simpsons?(with the talking wheelchair)

You're joking right ?

[revesz]

No I've heard the name a million and one times but never knew who he was. So I guess he's some physics guy, but why is he so important?
He looks really funny, but I guess I shouldn't say that cause he seems to have quite the reputation.

[Jonathan]

He's done lots of things and has a neuromuscular disorder. how do you not know what he's done? There are a bunch of TV shows and books! But basically, you got it right, he's some physics guy.

[Zantra]

I'm just shocked that you could come to a PHYSICS board and not know one of, if not THE biggest name IN physics. If you've taken even a basic physics course you should know who he is..

*shrug*

If you have even a minor interest in physics you should go read some of his stuff.. But maybe I'm just biased...

[jimmy p]

masturbation, Masturbation, MAsturbation, MASturbation, MASTurbation, MASTUrbation, MASTURbation, MASTURBation, MASTURBAtion, MASTURBATion,
MASTURBATIon, MASTURBATIOn, MASTURBATION!!!!

DONT DIE THREAD DONT DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

[Gale]

If you don't want the thread to die, maybe you should actually start talking about the topic everyone was interested in.... masturbation.

So i have an interesting little story. My mum found my umm... vibrating toy... a while back and now that i have a bf she's worried. I spent the night at his place and so when i got home she started talking to me about protection and stuff like that. I was just like mum, don't worry, gave hew a few excuses and words of comfort, and then she was like "you know, i know about your little toy," and i was like "yeah i knew that." And that was it. But like, i guess the fact that i had one impied something... my older sister though was like, "mum, her having that is a good thing, cause now she doesn't need a guy, she can just go to her room. no stds or pregnancy that way." i laughed, but really that made sense to me. Like, My sis and i think she should be less worried since i have one, and not more worried.

I dunno, i guess my question is, if you had reason to believe someone masturbated a lot, would you assume they were like sexually active? or like.... horny a lot? does someone who doesn't do a lot have a slow sex life? or does it really not make a difference either way?

[jimmy p]

Probably the horny one. I had a mate who had a girlfriend and he masturbated a couple of times a day and bought porn videos from the internet and downloaded porn...thinking about it, as soon as he finished with his girlfriend, he (very generously [g)] ) tells me he masturbates less..

Does having a relationship make you masturbate more??

[iansmith]

Originally posted by jimmy p
Does having a relationship make you masturbate more??

Probably if the partner is not sexually satisfied.

[jimmy p]

From what they said (even after relationship ended) they were both pretty satisfied...i suppose it could have been the experience that drove him to be a nymphomaniac DONT ASK FOR HIS NUMBER GIRLS!

[Gale]

hahahaha, i know people like that.... i dunno, me personally, i masturbate less... there's no point in it i guess. Not that he and i have really done much of that stuff anyways...

All my girlfriends are the same really... my one friend said that dating takes all the horniness out of her... and i guess other things become more important.

[jimmy p]

lol its obvious your friend hasnt met me...[a)] i put the horn in horniness [!:)] (or so i dream!)

[BoulderHead]

http://andy.bluewire.net.nz/funnypics/kittens.jpg

[Gale]

Originally posted by BoulderHead
http://andy.bluewire.net.nz/funnypics/kittens.jpg

HAHAH... wow... where'd you get that link.... is that true?? aww... all those poor kitties...

[BoulderHead]

Take this test to see which kitten you have killed;

http://quizilla.com/users/depressedninja/quizzes/Every%20time%20you%20masturbate...%20which%20kitte n%20does%20god%20kill%3F/

It's a lucky thing cats have nine lives!

[Jonathan]

I thought this thread had died already!
Gale17: tisk tisk, I'm shocked! And sharing the story with a bunch of strangers too! I have sympathy for your poor mother.

[jimmy p]

LOL i have seen that picture before but it still amuses me. Call the RSPCA!!!

[Jonathan]

What's RSPCA?

[Guybrush Threepwood]

Originally posted by Jonathan
What's RSPCA?

http://www.rspca.org.uk/servlet/Satellite?pagename=RSPCA/News/NewsFeature

[jimmy p]

Basically RSPCA is the Royal Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals

[Jonathan]

Oh, that makes sense now.

[decibel]

DIE U DAMN THREAD

[twizted1]

Originally posted by decibel
DIE U DAMN THREAD

hehe decibel wants the thread to die...but he's bumpin it to the top....hypocrite! Of course...kinda surprised he can still see the keyboard to type [:D]

<edit: spelling>

-Ty

[jimmy p]

Arent the RSPCA and masturbating linked, i mean some people may ring up the RSPCA if they hear that someone 'spanks their monkey'??! [:D]

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by jimmy p
Arent the RSPCA and masturbating linked, i mean some people may ring up the RSPCA if they hear that someone 'spanks their monkey'??! [:D]
They are frequently alerted, also, when someone chokes their chicken, and when someone flogs their dolphin.

[Sonty]

DIE kitten DIE!!!!

[selfAdjoint]

Mew! I shall live! Mew! I shall enjoy myself; that is what kittens and masturbators do! Mew!

[hypnagogue]

Originally posted by selfAdjoint
Mew! I shall live! Mew! I shall enjoy myself; that is what kittens and masturbators do! Mew!

I nominate this for Weirdest Post of the Year honors.

[Kerrie]

i didnt realize there was this much to discuss about masturbation...apparently a lot of people have much to discuss publicly about it...

[BoulderHead]

Originally posted by selfAdjoint
Mew! I shall live! Mew! I shall enjoy myself; that is what kittens and masturbators do! Mew! [:D] [:D]
i didnt realize there was this much to discuss about masturbation...apparently a lot of people have much to discuss publicly about it...
There has been quite a bit of good discussion in this thread though it appears many prefer only to beat around the bush...

[wasteofo2]

Originally posted by decibel
i heard that someone can go blind from masterbaitng too much, is this true?....i also heard people can get serious back problems from it too

If you masturbate lying on your back and don't control your ejaculation then you could possibly get it in your eye...

[Ivan Seeking]

Hey, like a friend of mine used to say: Don't knock masturbation; it's safe sex with someone you love!

[Jonathan]

I thought someone else on this thread said that same thing, only they said that Woody Allen said it.
wasteofo2, that possibility has already been covered, though not as explicitly.

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Jonathan
I thought someone else on this thread said that same thing, only they said that Woody Allen said it.
wasteofo2, that possibility has already been covered, though not as explicitly.
HEY! Are you one of those Masturbation Forum Policeman guys? [:D] Is this an UNDERCOVER operation?[o)] [:D]

[Jonathan]

What are you talking about, that doesn't make any sense.
Also, I can't believe Ivan told that story about you, and he did it knowing you'd be upset too. It was funny though. [:D]

[zk4586]

That is a Woody Allen quote.

[Carlos Hernandez]

My little input regarding masturbation:

I read research that sex several times a week increases life-span, perhaps by reducing stress. So, if you want to play it safe, masturbate every day.

Second, I read in psychology class that it's the more educated people that masturbate more often because they have the IQ/education for forward-thinking: they can predict consequences of promiscuity, such as STDs and unwanted pregnancies.

Carlos Hernandez

[Ivan Seeking]

Originally posted by zk4586
That is a Woody Allen quote.

Sorry, that's my best contribution to the subject...otherwise I have no idea what you are all talking about. [:D]

[Ivan Seeking]

I lied:
Succubus
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

In medieval legend, a succubus (plural succubi; from Latin succubare, "to lie under") is a female demon which comes to men, especially monks, in their dreams to seduce them and have sexual intercourse with them.

This legend was an explanation for the phenomena of wet dreams and sleep paralysis.

Lilith and the Lilin (Jewish), Belili (Sumerian) and Rusalka (Slavic) were succubi.

Really mom, it was a succubus!

[wasteofo2]

Originally posted by Jonathan
I thought someone else on this thread said that same thing, only they said that Woody Allen said it.
wasteofo2, that possibility has already been covered, though not as explicitly.

My bad homie, I hadn't read the 9 previous pages of jack-off talk.

I feel really dirty now for saying something woody allen said...

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Gale17
If you don't want the thread to die, maybe you should actually start talking about the topic everyone was interested in.... masturbation.

So i have an interesting little story. My mum found my umm... vibrating toy... a while back and now that i have a bf she's worried. I spent the night at his place and so when i got home she started talking to me about protection and stuff like that. I was just like mum, don't worry, gave hew a few excuses and words of comfort, and then she was like "you know, i know about your little toy," and i was like "yeah i knew that." And that was it. But like, i guess the fact that i had one impied something... my older sister though was like, "mum, her having that is a good thing, cause now she doesn't need a guy, she can just go to her room. no stds or pregnancy that way." i laughed, but really that made sense to me. Like, My sis and i think she should be less worried since i have one, and not more worried.

I dunno, i guess my question is, if you had reason to believe someone masturbated a lot, would you assume they were like sexually active? or like.... horny a lot? does someone who doesn't do a lot have a slow sex life? or does it really not make a difference either way?

All I wanna know, is how did your SISTER get involved in this conversation? And like, I agree with ya- if you're using a toy, that's less to be worried about, but you know- some parents freak about anything sexual involving thier kids- I mean, would you want to know about YOUR parent's sex life? (if the answer is yes, don't answer that- I don't EVEN wanna know)

[jimmy p]

I'd rather tell my brother about things then my parents. It isnt so bad that her sister is older cos she can relate a lot more (and are better at sticking up for you). Im sure Freud would want to know bout his parents sex life [6)]

[Jonathan]

wasteofo2: LOL
jimmy p: I know for a fact that Freud was very messed up. If I'm not mistaken, he was raised by a nanny more than his mother, so his subconscious recognised his nanny as his mother figure and his mother as just some older woman. And I'm aware of a related anecdote, but long story short he was attracted to his mom.
Kinda puts a whole new spin on "takes one to know one".

[amp]

My vision still appears to be 10/10... er... 20/20, so aside from the hairy palms I'm good to go. Seriously, this topic is fun... I guess it can't be said "Science types don't get enough..." Well, I don't but my girlfriend does her best.

[Jonathan]

LOL
Nice quotes amp, but who is Terry Pratchet?

[jimmy p]

Terry Pratchett is THE ultimate fantasy-comedy writer. order his books. They are amazing!

[Jonathan]

Huh, I've never heard of him...
Woo hoo, I'm at 600+ posts
but cheese, Ivan's at like 2300+

[amp]

But Jimmy P is right on correct, ask Zero are some others here. Terry Pratchet is the heir to Douglas Adams funny bone. "The Lost Continent" possibly the funniest book I've ever read.(Subjects one to uncontrolable outbursts of gaffaws)

[zk4586]

Originally posted by Ivan Seeking
Sorry, that's my best contribution to the subject...otherwise I have no idea what you are all talking about. [:D]

Too busy masturbating. [!:)]

[jimmy p]

hehe. this thread aint gonna die! MASTURBATION MASTURBATION MASTURBATION! (i have to join in the sport again, finished with my gf!)

[Sting]

I've got a joke for you all:

A priest was walking down a street when he hears something in the alley way. There's a boy masterbating and the priest goes "son, you should be saving that for marriage." 15 years later, a man approaches the priest and goes "remember me father? I'm the one you caught masterbating in the alleyway. You told me that I should be saving it for marriage?"

The priest nods his head in agreement.

The man goes on: "Well, I'm getting married tomorrow and I have 10 5-gallon jugs in the back of my truck. What am I supposed to do with it?"

[Hypercase]

Mastrubation is alot like Procrastination in the end u realize ur just ****ing ur self.

[Sonty]

What? Did you guys make a New Year's resolution to stop masturbating?

[jimmy p]

Lol i wondered when someone was gonna come back to this thread!! hahaha!!!! nah, my resolution is nothing as glamorous as that!

[Andy]

Origionally posted by Sting A priest was walking down a street when he hears something in the alley way. There's a boy masterbating and the priest goes "son, you should be saving that for marriage." 15 years later, a man approaches the priest and goes "remember me father? I'm the one you caught masterbating in the alleyway. You told me that I should be saving it for marriage?"

The priest nods his head in agreement.

The man goes on: "Well, I'm getting married tomorrow and I have 10 5-gallon jugs in the back of my truck. What am I supposed to do with it?"

LOL LOL LOL!