Girl trouble.

[PrudensOptimus]

In Real life, I really like this girl ever since I met her for the first time in the Freshman year in highschool. We had same physics class, but due to my academic pursue, I left her out and didn't spend more time to talk to her.

Now after a year and some months, we still go to same school and see each other not very often as last year, I felt like she started to ... I don't know, some weird feeling like she's trying to ignoring me and make me jealous by talking to a bunch of guys at the same time or something:\

Advice? Comments? Additions? Feel free.

[Zantra]

Just be thankful you don't have Chroot's problem, and deal with it..lol

Have you tried talking to her?

[PrudensOptimus]

I never really talked to her very often because I didn't want to "bother" her. But I msged her over AIM and I asked her why did she have to act like she's ignoring me, she said she didn't mean to. (She acts perfectly normal sometimes, saying hi to me in the hall way... but sometimes she just act like she never knew me...)

The first thing she said to me when she saw me at the potluck was "Is Swing here? Is he here? Where is he?" (Swing=guy). From what I know she doesn't go out with him, and he had some weird contagious flu. She kept on talking with him in front of me and my friends, making us look bad or something. Later went to his house and left potluck , I chose not to go because I wanted to worship the Lord(christian potluck).

[Rook]

Have some confidence and just approach her and talk. Be careful not to fall in the friends circle though. How hot is she and does she get a lot of attention from other guys?

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Rook
Have some confidence and just approach her and talk. Be careful not to fall in the friends circle though. How hot is she and does she get a lot of attention from other guys?

She is very hot:p That's why I avoid talking to her, usually she comes to me when she wants to say something.

However, she is not the "slut" type. But, it's hard to say from what I saw at the potluck, she acted like she was "owned" by Swing. Swing is a very shy guy, don't talk much, but he went to middleschool with her.

[PrudensOptimus]

Last year I had a PE class with one of her friends, till today I remember that friend of hers told me one day in that class that she was "heartbroken" when I blocked her on AIM. That friend also told me that she likes me. But at that time I took it as a joke and forgot all about it because academics was way more important to me.

[Rook]

She is very hot:p
First, if you haven't already, knock her off her pedestal. Then you need to be different from the other guys trying to pick her up. She is most likely often told how "hot" and "beautiful" she is. Avoid doing this, tease her a little. Make it so your the prize, not her.
That's why I avoid talking to her, usually she comes to me when she wants to say something.
Why? Are you afraid of being rejected? Rejection is part of the game. So what if she doesn't want you, her loss, right. Their a plenty of other women out there.
Just go up and talk to her about anything. Tease her a little, then leave. If she's interested, she will pursue.
However, she is not the "slut" type. But, it's hard to say from what I saw at the potluck, she acted like she was "owned" by Swing. Swing is a very shy guy, don't talk much, but he went to middleschool with her.
Swing is probably stuck in the "friends circle", or maybe they are together. But, next time, go up to Swing and work it into the conversation about how he knows the girl. Chances are, you'll find out whats going on.

Regardless, go up and talk to her anyways, take a chance. And if you see it going nowhere, use her to get with her hot friends (my guess is she knows a few).

[PrudensOptimus]

So what do you mean by friends circle? And why must I avoid the circle? Please explain, thanks.

[rick1138]

No, don't do any of that, she sounds like a sincere person, she is just trying to get your attention - you are ignoring her.

She is very hot:p That's why I avoid talking to her, usually she comes to me when she wants to say something.

Don't avoid her, just talk to her, but don't tell her she is hot, tell her how much you respect her intelligence, or how sweet a personality she has. Don't mention in any way that her behavior is bothering you, because that puts her on the spot. Make yourself an easy person to talkk to.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by rick1138
No, don't do any of that, she sounds like a sincere person, she is just trying to get your attention - you are ignoring her.



Don't avoid her, just talk to her, but don't tell her she is hot, tell her how much you respect her intelligence, or how sweet a personality she has. Don't mention in any way that her behavior is bothering you, because that puts her on the spot. Make yourself an easy person to talkk to.

I have already begun to "recover" what I "owe" to her... Whenever she ask me to do a favor, I would do so.(ie she asked me to design a site for her club in the school.)

And, ahh ****, I already msged her after the potluck a little, here is a brief what I said:

"Girl: Hey how's econ?"
"Me: Sorry, but have I offend you in anyway?"
"Girl: No. WHy?"
"Me: I felt like you were trying to ignore me."
"Girl: Really??! I didn't mean to do that."
"Me: OK, I just wanted to make sure I didn't do anything offensive."
...

followed by a long *** conversation...

[Rook]

So what do you mean by friends circle? And why must I avoid the circle? Please explain, thanks.
The "Friends Circle" is most easly discribed as when she considers you more of a "galpal" or "emotional tampon" rather then the man you are. i.e.: she tells you about all her problems and seeks your advice on how to handle men, etc. When she sees you as 'just a friend' rather than potential dating material.
tell her how much you respect her intelligence, or how sweet a personality she has.
...
Don't mention in any way that her behavior is bothering you, because that puts her on the spot.
I must disagree, I would recommend that you call her out on the behavior that bothers you. So you put her on the spot? YES! You have to show that you will not tolerate disrespect (that sounds a little strong, but instead of bringing it out harshly, TEASE HER about it)
Make yourself an easy person to talk to.
Exactly, be a good listener, but don't be afraid to disagree with what she has to say. They last thing women want is a guy who accepts everything she says as gold, like a sad little dog.

[PrudensOptimus]

I think Swing is her so called "Friend Circle"... Meets the requirements 100%. And her other friend who told me stuff in PE class. I have many "spies" in her classes and riding her bus:p

My Junior friend Daniel rides her bus, and he hath told me he don't think Swing and her go together (ie they don't show much expression on the bus, don't talk, don't kiss, don't sit together, don't do nothing). Now I trust Daniel alot, he has math class with me, so another conclusion might be drawn... They don't talk on bus, yet they were sitting together on a yearbook picture taken randomly in an outdoor assembly, weird...


GIRL EXPERTS!! Where art thou!!!!

[Rook]

I have already begun to "recover" what I "owe" to her... Whenever she ask me to do a favor, I would do so.(ie she asked me to design a site for her club in the school.)
Why?! You owe her nothing. You had your own priorities and at the time, she didn't fit into the picture. If she asks you to do another favor, ask her "whats in it for me?" Or, if you have the confidence, accuse her of trying to seduce you by getting you to do things for her.
"Girl: Hey how's econ?"
"Me: Sorry, but have I offend you in anyway?"
"Girl: No. WHy?"
"Me: I felt like you were trying to ignore me."
"Girl: Really??! I didn't mean to do that."
"Me: OK, I just wanted to make sure I didn't do anything offensive."
Should've been something like this:
"Me: I felt like you were trying to ignore me."
"Girl: Really??! I didn't mean to do that."
"Me: So, your going to make it up to me then, I take it."

[rick1138]

Spying on her? Bad move, very bad. Just ask her out, it would make things a lot easier.

[rick1138]

Don't start a confrontation with her - she hasn't done anything to you - just be nice her.

[PrudensOptimus]

:\ I'm not sure if she has a boyfriend or not. From Swing's little brother, 5 year old kid say he saw the girl in Swing's house often, and he told me she's Swing's girl friend:\ Yet other people say they aren't... omg soo confusing.

The other reason I am impressed is her father is a very well known researcher on Multiple Myeloma, and from what I found, their parents use to be college classmates with my parents:\

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Rook
"Me: I felt like you were trying to ignore me."
"Girl: Really??! I didn't mean to do that."
"Me: So, your going to make it up to me then, I take it." [/B]


LOLL nice, I'm gonna try that.

[Rook]

Don't start a confrontation with her - she hasn't done anything to you - just be nice her.
I'm not saying 'start an arguement'. There is a difference between TEASING and insulting (don't insult her). And, just so you know: nice guys finish last...
omg soo confusing.
Then just her about their relationship. Forget what others say.
The other reason I am impressed is her father is a very well known researcher on Multiple Myeloma.
Cool, then you should be able to relate/talk to him about some interesting things. Who cares if your not dating the daughter. It's all about who you know.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Rook
I'm not saying 'start an arguement'. There is a difference between TEASING and insulting (don't insult her). And, just so you know: nice guys finish last...

Then just her about their relationship. Forget what others say.

Cool, then you should be able to relate/talk to him about some interesting things. Who cares if your not dating the daughter. It's all about who you know.


There are some other girls that I know they have "special attention" for me in the school, they also appeared to be her friends.

At one time I remember I said something good about another friend of hers in front of her without intention, after that she started to act weird.

[PrudensOptimus]

btw, why would a girl always begin a conversation with a guy by "how's economics?"????

[Rook]

There are some other girls that I know they have "special attention" for me in the school, they also appeared to be her friends.

Run your game on them to then. It always good to practice.
At one time I remember I said something good about another friend of hers in front of her without intention, after that she started to act weird.
Nothing wrong with talking about her friends infront of her, make her know that you arn't just 'waiting' for her, that you have other options.
btw, why would a girl always begin a conversation with a guy by "how's economics?"????Because you have not given her the chance to know you better so this is the best conversation opener she has. Next time, call her out on it:
"You must really like econ since thats all you ask about..."
or tease her:
"Tell me (girl), what ever happened to starting conversations with 'how was your day'?"
or even shorter:
"My day was great, thanks for asking..."

[rick1138]

Don't follow any of this advice at all, unless you want to lose her.

[Monique]

PrudensOptimus, it seems you are able to talk so well through AIM, but in real life there seems to be a barrier? Just whatever you do, do NOT ask her out through AIM!

If you really like this girl, be more open to her. Ask her for a drink somewhere (nice cup of hot chocolate/ tea/ coffee somewhere at a quite place at school will do). Let it shine through that you like her, find out common interests. Next time you will be able to ask her out.

[dduardo]

Originally posted by Monique
PrudensOptimus, it seems you are able to talk so well through AIM, but in real life there seems to be a barrier? Just whatever you do, do NOT ask her out through AIM!

I read an article on the internet a while back that said proposing through text messaging was becomilng very popular in some country. It was also legal to divorce someone through text messaging.

What is the world coming too!

PrudensOptimus, If you really want to know if she has a boyfriend, go up to her and ask her if you look better than her boyfriend. If she says yes, then go in for the kill. If she says no, then walk away, quickly. (Mind you, I don't use this pickup line. Just came up in a conversation with some friends)

[Monique]

I've been asked out through text messaging, it is the mostwrongestlyfaulty thing to do :) if she says yes, you are fine, but if it is no, how are you going to pursuade her with your big blue (brown/grey/green) eyes staring at the screen.

Communication is more than just words.

[Rook]

Don't follow any of this advice at all, unless you want to lose her.
How will he lose her? He never 'had' her to begin with... Secondly, this advice is solid, I have field tested it all. Guess what: IT WORKS!
PrudensOptimus, it seems you are able to talk so well through AIM, but in real life there seems to be a barrier?
Its because its much easier to talk through the internet because it's so impersonal (easier to deal with rejection). However, you can never really get the results you desire because of this impersonal method.
Just whatever you do, do NOT ask her out through AIM!
I second that!
Horrible idea, keep the AIM conversations, just like the phone conversations: short and concise, make her laugh, then end it on a good note.
Communication is more than just words.
Exactly (I like how you think!). Again, AIM, and even the phone (to an extent) are impersonal. It's so much better to talk in person. Also, don't be afraid to touch her playfully, and always keep eye contact.

[PrudensOptimus]

Let me try [6)]

@Monique: Aren't you from Sweden? She is from Sweden too.

[Monique]

you are going to try what? [8)]

[Monique]

funny, in the US people always thought I was from Finland.. I am from Holland though :)

[jimmy p]

Ask her out for a drink, like monique said! Be bold, she may like that!

Uh, (no offence any women) but girls are usually attention seekers so any attention is good. Rook's idea about teasing is good but dont take the piss out of everything she does! [g)]

What else? i think and Swing are platonic friends seeing as no one has seen them be couply together. I think that she likes you from what you have said so far, and if she is hot then she is likely to have played the dating game before.

Dont get too involved or you will end up in the dreaded friend circle! When you go out for this coffee or whatever, be interesting but dont tell her tons about yourself, let her do the talking(attention, get it?). Also, leaving yourself as a mystery will make her want to know more about you (further dates!) It's definitely a trait in British girls that they want to think they know everything and i suppose, teasing her like that, drip feeding her information keeps her interested. Little and often is how you should do it!

If she IS going out with Swing, go round his house and bust his kneecaps, then bust his little brother's kneecaps for being a smartass! Then go out with one of her hot friends to show her what she is missing! (DONT DO ANY OF THIS)[;)]

[russ_watters]

Originally posted by Monique
PrudensOptimus, it seems you are able to talk so well through AIM, but in real life there seems to be a barrier? Just whatever you do, do NOT ask her out through AIM! Normally I'd agree, but as a matter of fact, just last week I asked a girl out in an email (she said yes). We'd been emailing for several months though and I figured it would be anticlimactic if I asked for her phone number. If she's interested, it doesn't matter how you ask. If she's on the bubble though, it might be harder for her to say no if you ask in person.

Its a complicated (and possibly dangerous) situation I have here though - she's my boss's daughter and our office is in his living room. In any case, I rarely get a good opportunity to talk to her here (she works too), but it really is best to just spit it out. It doesn't matter if it seems kinda random.

But yeah - I'm a wuss. That was just another topic of conversation though when I finally did talk to her on the phone.

[Rook]

Its a complicated (and possibly dangerous) situation I have here though - she's my boss's daughter and our office is in his living room.

Sorry for the vulgar term but this is the only thing that came to mind: Don't $hit where you eat...

[russ_watters]

Originally posted by Rook
Sorry for the vulgar term but this is the only thing that came to mind: Don't $hit where you eat... Yeah, believe me, I'm tiptoe-ing here, but for some reason she doesn't seem bothered by it at all (though I'm not sure I believe that). But I have more to lose than she does if it turns out badly.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by jimmy p
I think that she likes you from what you have said so far, and if she is hot then she is likely to have played the dating game before.[/B]

Oh? Can you please tell me a more detailed version of why you think she still likes me based on what I have said?

And what is the dating game?

And umm, I kick Swing's *** anyways. His brother is a suckup to me ---> He doesn't like Swing.

[PrudensOptimus]

Girl Experts? [*(] [b(]

[Monique]

She talks to you right? That must mean she likes you as a person, how did you get her AIM number?

You should just create a natural environment where you can ask her out for a date, as I said, get a one-on-one drink with her, discuss some common interests, the latest movies in the theater, ask her if she has seen one in particular yet, you have heard it is a great movie, no? ask her to go see it with you. If she says no and won't reschudule, safe your face by kindly saying 'I guess I have to go with Tom then' (or other friends name).

This is just a scenario, do not study it before you talk to her, it will look unnatural, actually the more you think of it and wait the smaller your chances get. You are on your own boy.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
She talks to you right? That must mean she likes you as a person, how did you get her AIM number?

You should just create a natural environment where you can ask her out for a date, as I said, get a one-on-one drink with her, discuss some common interests, the latest movies in the theater, ask her if she has seen one in particular yet, you have heard it is a great movie, no? ask her to go see it with you. If she says no and won't reschudule, safe your face by kindly saying 'I guess I have to go with Tom then' (or other friends name).

This is just a scenario, do not study it before you talk to her, it will look unnatural, actually the more you think of it and wait the smaller your chances get. You are on your own boy.

She asked some of my friends for my AIM name I guess, one day I just got a msg from an annonomous, and it was her.

[Junior Ivan]

sweet dude

[Monique]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
She asked some of my friends for my AIM name I guess, one day I just got a msg from an annonomous, and it was her. What are you waiting for then [?] [o)] are you [zz)] [?]

[PrudensOptimus]

But everytime when I see her(approaching her),... I feel like she's either shy or try to talk to her friend... boy girl whatever,.. she would try to ignore me or something. If that is the case, I really don't want to "bother" her.

[Hurkyl]

She might want to be bothered!

[rick1138]

Trust me she is shy. The best way to approach shy girls is similar the way a shark attacks its victim. A shark never completes its attack in one go, it attacks its victim in stages: first it will bite, then move away, and watch from a distance as the victim softens up, then moves in again to bite again, etc. What you have to do is approach her in stages. First you will have to ask her out on a date - most likely she will reject you the first time, so just blow it off, say something like, "maybe another time", but don't confront her or ask her to explain herself, above all don't put any pressure on her. If she tells you she has no romantic interest in you respect that and move on, otherwisde,continue your friendship as before. She may avoid you for a few days, don't panic, this is normal. Wait for another chance, invite her casually for cofee, something that is low pressure, then establish the relationship bit by bit.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by rick1138
Trust me she is shy. The best way to approach shy girls is similar the way a shark attacks its victim. A shark never completes its attack in one go, it attacks its victim in stages: first it will bite, then move away, and watch from a distance as the victim softens up, then moves in again to bite again, etc. What you have to do is approach her in stages. First you will have to ask her out on a date - most likely she will reject you the first time, so just blow it off, say something like, "maybe another time", but don't confront her or ask her to explain herself, above all don't put any pressure on her. If she tells you she has no romantic interest in you respect that and move on, otherwisde,continue your friendship as before. She may avoid you for a few days, don't panic, this is normal. Wait for another chance, invite her casually for cofee, something that is low pressure, then establish the relationship bit by bit.

:\ Sounds pretty complex for a guy like me. I never gone on a date before, and dating sounds old... I'm only 15 man. btw, she's 16:\ but in the same grade.


She might want to be bothered!

Bah,... maybe, but I think she's avoiding me [t)]

[Hurkyl]

Or, she might have the urge to stare at you as you walk by, but she doesn't want to look silly, so she's overcompensating by pretending she didn't notice you, secretly hoping that you'll say something to her!

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
Or, she might have the urge to stare at you as you walk by, but she doesn't want to look silly, so she's overcompensating by pretending she didn't notice you, secretly hoping that you'll say something to her!

yea, i had that feeling too everytime i walk by her... whenever she's quite and nobody else is around her, she would just pretend either she saw me and say hi, or just pretend i wasn't there... but when if I say hi to her, she would be like "hi" and getting excited... totally weird... not to mention that she ignores me when she can talk to someone near her.

[rick1138]

yea, i had that feeling too everytime i walk by her... whenever she's quite and nobody else is around her, she would just pretend either she saw me and say hi, or just pretend i wasn't there... but when if I say hi to her, she would be like "hi" and getting excited... totally weird... not to mention that she ignores me when she can talk to someone near her.


She definitely likes you to some degree, like I said before she is shy, and shy girls are the most difficult to pursue, but also the ones that are most worth pursuing. Like I said the best thing to do is to ask her out. There are two options:

1. Approach her and ask her out to the movies or a school dance or something like that. You are most likely to get rejected doing it this way, but remember that rejection is often temporary. It is important to establish that your interest is romantic.

2. On your way out of school, if you happen to run into her, start a conversation, and then do something like say "I'm hungry
..., hey ,would you like to go get something to eat. This is actually very easy to pull off, and it is a good way to get to know someone in a low pressure setting. The downside of this method is that you have not established that your interest is romantic, so the best thing to do is:


Combine method 1 with 2 - go with 2 first , then once you have a conversation going ask her out. An indirect method is always better than one that is direct. Don't ask her directly to go to the movies, first bring up movies that you have seen, and get her to talk about movies that she likes, then mention some movies that are coming, and once her eyes light up at the mention of a movie, then invite her to that. A big movie that is coming soon is the last Lord of the Rings, ask her about that, if she likes it, invite her to go with you, if she hates it, think of so, bring up something else, keep going until you mention something that excites her. If she hates movies, change the subject, talk about music - I have met only one woman in my life who hated music.

Remember, always keep an eye on how she is reacting, think about her feelings, don't worry about feeling uncomfortable or rejected, it is very unlikely that she is noticing these things at all.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by rick1138
She definitely likes you to some degree, like I said before she is shy, and shy girls are the most difficult to pursue, but also the ones that are most worth pursuing. Like I said the best thing to do is to ask her out. There are two options:

1. Approach her and ask her out to the movies or a school dance or something like that. You are most likely to get rejected doing it this way, but remember that rejection is often temporary. It is important to establish that your interest is romantic.

2. On your way out of school, if you happen to run into her, start a conversation, and then do something like say "I'm hungry
..., hey ,would you like to go get something to eat. This is actually very easy to pull off, and it is a good way to get to know someone in a low pressure setting. The downside of this method is that you have not established that your interest is romantic, so the best thing to do is:


Combine method 1 with 2 - go with 2 first , then once you have a conversation going ask her out. An indirect method is always better than one that is direct. Don't ask her directly to go to the movies, first bring up movies that you have seen, and get her to talk about movies that she likes, then mention some movies that are coming, and once her eyes light up at the mention of a movie, then invite her to that. A big movie that is coming soon is the last Lord of the Rings, ask her about that, if she likes it, invite her to go with you, if she hates it, think of so, bring up something else, keep going until you mention something that excites her. If she hates movies, change the subject, talk about music - I have met only one woman in my life who hated music.

Remember, always keep an eye on how she is reacting, think about her feelings, don't worry about feeling uncomfortable or rejected, it is very unlikely that she is noticing these things at all.


:\ how would I bring her out to get a "drink"? afterall, it isn't legal for me to drive yet, and ... not legal for drinking ...

[rick1138]

Last time I checked cofee was a drink.

[Rook]

Gentlemen, you are overanalyzing this too much. Just, dare I say it, "grab your balls" and act.
Coffee/drinks (a short activity) is a good idea, enough time to establish yourself, and enough time to 'feel her out'. If you realize that she isn't for you, you can always get out of a coffee date quickly. And a bonus: you don't waste any money, whats better than that!?

[PrudensOptimus]

:\ Dating game sucks. [t)] [*(] [b(]

[Rook]

Take off those rosy sunglasses and you will see that, for the majority of us, the natural process of seduction has become a battlefield of the mind. Seriously, take a good look around you and witness a new generation of introverted cowards who shyt their pants at the mere thought of approaching an attractive woman. Watching some of these guys in action, you'd swear that they were facing heavy enemy fire while running across a field of landmines, rather than talking to a soft, harmless girl!

Yes my people, Generation Chump is in full effect! If you doubt my words really think about the guys you know. My acquaintances tally up to about 1 Real Man out of 10 frustrated boys. That's 10%, yall! Make no mistake, in this age of intellectual castration it is war that we wage! Not against females, but against the social programming that stifles our true nature and sexuality.

Think I am over-reacting? Pffffft! Have you been to the movies in the last few decades? Have you paid attention to the crap that is played on the radio?

Love is The Message
Really listen to the ideas you are being fed while you are "entertained". You will see that the same message is repeated over and over, shameless as any propaganda.

"Find your true love...your SOUL MATE...that one person who completes you and you will live happily ever after"

And so everyone scrambles to find their other half with the expectations of a Hollywood reality only to find out that they were chasing a mirage. What a cunning deception! So romantic and appealing that we CHOOSE to stay blind to the truth. Lift the veil of lies and you will see that when you seek happiness and "completion" from someone else, you are just setting yourself up for failure and heart-break!

Then what happens? Your relationship and entire world falls apart, and you are shocked, no DEVASTATED! How can this be? "Woe is me!" Then the dust settles and you think to yourself "Oh damn, I guess she WASN'T my soul mate after all, but hey check THIS girl out. She seems special. Yup she's different!" And so we chase the illusion over and over in a vicious cycle until time quietly slips past us like a thief in the night...

PrudensOptimus, I am not targeting you with that message, however, I think it's something you need to think about. The "dating game" doesn't suck, your just new to it. Keep working at it, take the chances and GET rejected.

I use to fear rejection. If I crashed and burned I would be devestated for days. I had to work at it until I got to a point where it no longer mattered. I'll admit, I get rejected about 3 times out of every 10 girls I approach, but you know what, it feels good! Now, after walking away from a rejection, I am usually holding in laughter. LAUGHTER = FREEDOM.

My advice: work on your 'game'. Your 15, your never to young to start, and never to young to improve. Take a chance with this girl, but realize that if it doesn't work out, you can always move on. There isn't ONE perfect girl out there for you, there are MANY!!!

Good luck!

[PrudensOptimus]

OK, I just asked her if she's going to the Thanksgiving Feast, and she said "i don't think so."

that really pisses me off. She said not unless her parents make her...

But I bet you more than 70% she would show up... I asked her last time if she's going to the potluck, she said she have something else to do, ... turned out she was there before i got there.

[Monique]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
OK, I just asked her if she's going to the Thanksgiving Feast, and she said "i don't think so."

that really pisses me off. She said not unless her parents make her... Thanksgiving Feast.. you have to come up better than that.

[Zantra]

If you wanna win big, you gotta play big. Tell her you're interested in her as more than a friend, and you want to date her. You may loose the friendship, but it's better than torturing yourself. Besides, you said she used to like you. Make a play. Gotta roll the dice. It's either that or 5 more pages of THIS stuff.

[jimmy p]

Originally posted by rick1138
Trust me she is shy. The best way to approach shy girls is similar the way a shark attacks its victim. A shark never completes its attack in one go, it attacks its victim in stages: first it will bite, then move away, and watch from a distance as the victim softens up, then moves in again to bite again, etc. What you have to do is approach her in stages. First you will have to ask her out on a date - most likely she will reject you the first time, so just blow it off, say something like, "maybe another time", but don't confront her or ask her to explain herself, above all don't put any pressure on her. If she tells you she has no romantic interest in you respect that and move on, otherwisde,continue your friendship as before. She may avoid you for a few days, don't panic, this is normal. Wait for another chance, invite her casually for cofee, something that is low pressure, then establish the relationship bit by bit.


are sharks shy too? maybe they have trouble with dating as well [6)]


I have to agree with Rook, i have always taken an active interest in women, however always lucked out until i was 18, and finally i have had my first girlfriend. The problem now is that girls start liking you after that (you know, want what they cant have) and that gets annoying, especially when a girl who didnt show interest suddenly wants to have your children lol.

Ooh ooh laughter... do you make her laugh? if not, try brush up on some good jokes. worked for me and 2 of my friends! (and of course, our amazing good looks [a)] )

[Adam]

My last girlfriend dumped me three times. I said yes each time she came back because I was nuts about her. The third time, it was quits for good. Several months later she contacted me, and we talked a bit, and it turned out everything she had ever said to me was a lie. Every single word.

So, there's this girl I kinda like now. She's quite nifty. Then this afternoon she reveals that a lot of stuff she told me about herself is pure crap.

I have a supernatural ability to attract liars.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Adam
My last girlfriend dumped me three times. I said yes each time she came back because I was nuts about her. The third time, it was quits for good. Several months later she contacted me, and we talked a bit, and it turned out everything she had ever said to me was a lie. Every single word.

So, there's this girl I kinda like now. She's quite nifty. Then this afternoon she reveals that a lot of stuff she told me about herself is pure crap.

I have a supernatural ability to attract liars.


oh my god, what did she lie to you about.


and :\ every word I say, she laughs, or smiles, she laughs a lot. [b(] [t)]


and I haven't find out if she has bf or not, so I can't just say anything to her yet.

[Monique]

There was this incredibly cute blonde guy (normally I only fall for brown hair) sitting in the subway, for the second time now.. incredibly long lashes and studying to be a doctor.. *sigh*

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
There was this incredibly cute blonde guy (normally I only fall for brown hair) sitting in the subway, for the second time now.. incredibly long lashes and studying to be a doctor.. *sigh*

What's wrong? Doctors are very respected here in America.

[Monique]

*rolls eyes* you really must be clueless..
every heard of a longing sight?

[PrudensOptimus]

Btw, another special thing about this girl is that in her AIM Profile, she always write something in the very bottom... so you have to scroll all the way down before read something.

this is her profile for today:

Benjamin Mckenzie is sooOooooo hot!

and then sometime she would write "I miss you babe!" in her profile, ... sounds like she's saying it to her bf... Man, girls are so weird.

[Hurkyl]

Well, you won't know unless you ask, so. [6)]

Do people still ask a girl's friends if she has a boyfriend?

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
Well, you won't know unless you ask, so. [6)]

Do people still ask a girl's friends if she has a boyfriend?


:Dd GOOD IDEA!! I'm gonna go ask claire on monday.

[Monique]

finally some incentive..

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
finally some incentive..

But what if claire tells her about it??

[Monique]

*lost patience*

I'd start saving money for cats now..

[PrudensOptimus]

omg... just msged an old friend on AIM... he told me she asked him for my phone number a long time ago...

[iansmith]

You are overthinking this.

Just ask her out for a date.

[Adam]

Yep, just ask her out. The worst she can say is "No". Well, actually, she could say a lot worse than that. But the result will be the same. It's got to be better than sitting there fretting.

Of course, I would probably not take my own advice. I'm ridiculously shy around women, which is why my last two girlfriends asked me out; they got sick of waiting for me to ask them.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by iansmith
You are overthinking this.

Just ask her out for a date.


what if she says no? :\ that would suck a lot.

[Hurkyl]

What do you think will happen if she says no?

[PrudensOptimus]

:( Forget it, she blocked me on AIM for no reason.

[iansmith]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
what if she says no? :\ that would suck a lot.

Better to ask than always wonder what would of happen

[PrudensOptimus]

She didn't show up at the Feast,... :( I think she chose to play tennis on a thanksgiving day.

[jimmy p]

maybe she has lost patience with u!! who is benjamin mckenzie? if its you then what more of a hint do u need???

I cant believe you are still discussing this, send her an email asking why she has blocked u. ASK HER OUT FOR A DRINK OR ANYTHING!!!


However like adam, i never take my own advice! [6)]

[Andy]

Ask her out, get her drunk and then loose her door keys for her so she has to go back to your place, i think you can work out the rest.[6)]

[Junior Ivan]

Dude straight up, you're wasting too much time about thinking what to do. Like you're analyzing every little event way too much. Just do something already. Is she like the perfect one for you or what? She better be if you're taking this much consideration about talking to her.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by jimmy p
maybe she has lost patience with u!! who is benjamin mckenzie? if its you then what more of a hint do u need???

I cant believe you are still discussing this, send her an email asking why she has blocked u. ASK HER OUT FOR A DRINK OR ANYTHING!!!


However like adam, i never take my own advice! [6)]


I don't know who the hell is Ben Mackenzie.[t)] [*(]

[Rook]

^ He's the guy from the OC

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Rook
^ He's the guy from the OC

Yea, she's OC addict or some crap. She has a pic of Ben as her Buddy Icon... Saw a few fan sites... he doesn't look all that "cool."

Of course, I have never seen OC anyways, busy with school, never got that time to watch TV. What is soo cool about OC?

[Hurkyl]

It's been hyped. Do people need another reason? *sigh*

[rick1138]

It's too late, you've lost her - don't confront her, just forget about her.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by rick1138
It's too late, you've lost her - don't confront her, just forget about her.

:( I guess so [t)]

[rick1138]

Suchis the way things go sometimes - now it is time to find the next one.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by rick1138
Suchis the way things go sometimes - now it is time to find the next one.


How do you know I lost her? She was inviting me to a potluck at her house today, but schedule can't work for me, I told her I'd love to go, but I have to spend Christmas with my family.

[rick1138]

I thought she blocked you on AIM - anyway you're in now. Such is the way of fortune.

[The_Professional]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
How do you know I lost her? She was inviting me to a potluck at her house today, but schedule can't work for me, I told her I'd love to go, but I have to spend Christmas with my family.

This was a very, very wrong move! You should've accepted her invitation. You could have easily used the opportunity to show her family how great of a guy you are! What were you thinking. This was a big, big mistake. I'm sorry but you really should've accepted..

[rick1138]

I totally agree. You have to think on your feet and be prepared to blow off any social obligations if neccessary.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by The_Professional
This was a very, very wrong move! You should've accepted her invitation. You could have easily used the opportunity to show her family how great of a guy you are! What were you thinking. This was a big, big mistake. I'm sorry man but you really should've accepted..


I know her parents very well. They know me very well. Actually her mom is the one who always smile at me and say good stuff about me all the time at church, one time she was like "Oh, your son's pretty handsome." to my mom...

[Astrophysics]

I don't really see what the problem is, just go for it!

[PrudensOptimus]

making progress[o)] [6)] [:))] [:D]

[jimmy p]

WOO HOO!!! go you!! [:D] ...actually...maybe we ought to analyse this too [;)] what sort of progress are you talking about? What's happening?

[twizted1]

Originally posted by jimmy p
WOO HOO!!! go you!! [:D] ...actually...maybe we ought to analyse this too [;)] what sort of progress are you talking about? What's happening?

Yes yes...we should analyze this as well. I need somewhere to practice my nonexistant psychology lessons....my neighbor is a psychologist...maybe in all of his inane babble i have learned something. So...as Jimmy p said...what kind of progress are you making? did she look at you today? or did she just pour milk over your head? (could be a sign she likes you! that or she wants you to go away...)

-Ty

[Monique]

The progress probably is that the girl's mom said to his mom in church that her son is pretty handsome.

[jimmy p]

LOL i wasnt being sarcastic but i have to admit that Twiszted1's reply was pretty funny! Maybe i missed that, part of what Prudens was saying... Lets see what he has to say!

[The_Professional]

It sounds to me that he's in the point of no return already. The dreaded "friends zone". I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

But anyway. What buying signals did you get from this girl? how did you know that she really likes you?

Number one you look for is:

Touching, how often does she touch you?
Does she compliment you?
Did she ask you questions about yourself?

[Monique]

Those last three things usually are not the signals to look for btw, not generally anyway. She might feel intimitated by liking you and will thus try to act as normal as possible.

[The_Professional]

Yes, she may feel shy around him but she would still touch him. And I don't mean major touching, what I mean is those slight, seemingly innocent touches, like her elbow brushing up against his, and some more..even if she touches you once, touching is always the number one a guy should look for at least in the beginning.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by The_Professional
Yes, she may feel shy around him but she would still touch him. And I don't mean major touching, what I mean is those slight, seemingly innocent touches, like her elbow brushing up against his, and some more..even if she touches you once, touching is always the number one a guy should look for at least in the beginning.

:\ None of the signs you mentioned, because I don't have classes with her. And she don't touch anyone....

but she asks a lot of questions to me, not many about me, but often like "how's econ?" -- not a course for sophmores, but if I remember correctly,.. back in physics class in freshman year, I told her I was gonna take economics, i guess she followed. but we have it in different schedules.

and other questions might be: "are you coming to my potluck? you can show me how to do. ...."

"my computer have a virus, ... how do i..."

"... but if it won't work, my daddy will buy me a new one."

... and btw, i don't know why she always say that last line..., her father is rich, but i doubt he would buy a new $2000 computer because of a small virus for her.


Addition: Oh, and, remember I said she blocked me on AIM because another "sicko" was messaging her with my name... Although I didn't know him, but she thought that guy was me... She acted real mad and blcoked me on AIM. But when I talk to her in school, I said it wasn't me, and she said: "I knew it wasn't you." and acted fine...

she unblocked me, and one day I blocked her by accident, then she msged me with another SN and asked me to unblock her... she told me her old sn was being hacked,... then next day at school, she sounded like her old sn was never being hacked... sounds like her sn has never being hacked to me... just another excuse to msg me.

[Inquiring_Mike]

During school tomorrow, how about you give her a nice smile in the hall... Then tomorrow night, start to make your move... Say somethin' like " I saw how beautiful you looked today , that I couldn't help but smiling".. or if you have a class with her ask her over to do some homework... study dates always work well with me ;)

[The_Professional]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus

but she asks a lot of questions to me, not many about me, but often like "how's econ?" -- not a course for sophmores, but if I remember correctly,.. back in physics class in freshman year, I told her I was gonna take economics, i guess she followed. but we have it in different schedules.

and other questions might be: "are you coming to my potluck? you can show me how to do. ...."

"my computer have a virus, ... how do i..."

"... but if it won't work, my daddy will buy me a new one."

... and btw, i don't know why she always say that last line..., her father is rich, but i doubt he would buy a new $2000 computer because of a small virus for her.


Addition: Oh, and, remember I said she blocked me on AIM because another "sicko" was messaging her with my name... Although I didn't know him, but she thought that guy was me... She acted real mad and blcoked me on AIM. But when I talk to her in school, I said it wasn't me, and she said: "I knew it wasn't you." and acted fine...

she unblocked me, and one day I blocked her by accident, then she msged me with another SN and asked me to unblock her... she told me her old sn was being hacked,... then next day at school, she sounded like her old sn was never being hacked... sounds like her sn has never being hacked to me... just another excuse to msg me.

Do you have some other prospects? there must be plenty of other cute girls in your school.
Looking at the evidence that you gave me, she's not interested anymore. You've mentioned before how she ask your friend for your number, that is way, way back. Her interest in you have dropped tremendously..since then.

And regarding the Instant Message thing, you spend too much time talking to her online before you even had any date with her, this is something you should fix on the next girl.
Ask for her home number then just set up the date. That's it. Don't spend the next hour or so chatting with her on the phone or Online like one of her Girlfriends.

[PrudensOptimus]

I think she's mad at me now because I was talking to a close friend of hers...:\

[rick1138]

Touching or not touching doesn't mean anything one way or the other - some people are more comfortable touching people in public than others.

[The_Professional]

Im talking only in the context of a woman liking a guy.

[Monique]

Originally posted by The_Professional
Im talking only in the context of a woman liking a guy. I would be very shy about touching a guy who I like, any guy for that matter :P unless there already is a close relationship like a friendship which creates the opportunity to behave in such a way.

Really, I think the touching thing is nonsense if you only occasionally meet in the hallway. You can look at body language though. Positioning of the feet, hand movements (is she touching her hair/face alot when you talk to her?), or when you are sitting at the table: is she leading in towards you? Does she play with her hair? Are her arms crossed? Is her head supported by her hand and how. Does she look away alot when you talk to her. If you are sitting with her for lunch, do you notice that you are sitting in the same positions with your arms/hands/etc. Does she smile alot when you talk to her.

Again, communication is more than just words.

[The_Professional]

Originally posted by Monique
I would be very shy about touching a guy who I like, any guy for that matter :P unless there already is a close relationship like a friendship which creates the opportunity to behave in such a way.


Hahaaaa so you won't touch a guy you like, not even once when you're on a date with him? I'm not buying it.

Let me translate: when you said close relationship, you mean more than just friendship. You're potentially considering him

Originally posted by Monique
Really, I think the touching thing is nonsense if you only occasionally meet in the hallway. You can look at body language though. Positioning of the feet, hand movements (is she touching her hair/face alot when you talk to her?), or when you are sitting at the table: is she leading in towards you? Does she play with her hair? Are her arms crossed? Is her head supported by her hand and how. Does she look away alot when you talk to her. If you are sitting with her for lunch, do you notice that you are sitting in the same positions with your arms/hands/etc. Does she smile alot when you talk to her.

Again, communication is more than just words.
The touching thing is part of the buying signals a woman gives off, like the ones you've mentioned here. However, it doesn't mean that it's the only thing that a guy should look for...

[rick1138]

The brush by is significant though.

[Monique]

Originally posted by The_Professional
Hahaaaa so you won't touch a guy you like, not even once when you're on a date with him? I'm not buying it.

Let me translate: when you said close relationship, you mean more than just friendship. You're potentially considering him


The touching thing is part of the buying signals a woman gives off, like the ones you've mentioned here. However, it doesn't mean that it's the only thing that a guy should look for... I am saying: there should be a situation in which touching is physically possible. I really can't think of a situation in which occasional contact is possible, except on a date ofcourse where you are focussed on that person and it should be pretty clear that you are there for the reason of attraction.

In the situation of Prudens, how would the girl show she likes him when standing in the hallway and asks him how's econ? I mean, seriously, shove his shoulder, take his hand, wipe a lash from his nose, it is too forward. I agree that IF contact takes place, it is a very clear signal something is going on, but the chances this is a primary signal of affection is very slim.

I agree that the brush is significant, if I like a guy and I am standing in the subway, I would try and get some attention by standing near the person.

If I like one of my fellow student collegues, I would not go and make physical contact without knowing the person, unless the relationship moves to a more comfortable level where it would feel natural, but that is already after all the other signals have passed the revenue and I get the idea the attraction is mutual.

Ofcourse, this is over-analyzed, I would never think about physical contact that much, but thinking about it, that is how it works for me.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
I would be very shy about touching a guy who I like, any guy for that matter :P unless there already is a close relationship like a friendship which creates the opportunity to behave in such a way.

Really, I think the touching thing is nonsense if you only occasionally meet in the hallway. You can look at body language though. Positioning of the feet, hand movements (is she touching her hair/face alot when you talk to her?), or when you are sitting at the table: is she leading in towards you? Does she play with her hair? Are her arms crossed? Is her head supported by her hand and how. Does she look away alot when you talk to her. If you are sitting with her for lunch, do you notice that you are sitting in the same positions with your arms/hands/etc. Does she smile alot when you talk to her.

Again, communication is more than just words.


She always smiles when talking to me... But again, in my impression, she is a very happy girl.

I never talked to her very often, usually talks lasts not very long, and because she invited me to her club, I usually talk to her and meet her in the club. At the club, she acts like the boss, and I remember one time she threw at a rubber band at me because I was doing something else at the club, and she asked me if I needed a ride after the club.

From my memories last year, she likes to play with her hair and act "unnatural/unusual" in physics class, specially when talking to me. Again, as I mentioned earlier, she use to sit toward back of the room with her "Friends' circle(mostly guys)", until I walked in one day, and I sat in the front. Then sometime after that she moved up front, and sat next to me from then. I always thought she can't see well in the back, but... who knows?

Just today, she came into my class and gave posters to other members (less active) of the club, but didn't give me one(i didn't know what she gave until after class, I was talking to my friends.); but, she waved, smiled, and said hi to me and walked out. Not sure if that's a sign or not, but let's hope it is a good sign.

And, btw, if touching is a sign, then... there's this girl who likes to touch me all the time in class... but i only like one girl, so...

[The_Professional]

I would go for the girl who likes you. Because this crush you have right now isn't going anywhere. Plenty of time got wasted over-analyzing and thinking about her and the mind is a terrible thing to waste.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by rick1138
The brush by is significant though.

Brush By?

[motai]

I still am confused as to why the girls in my school are always going out with these losers who disrespect them! These guys are jerks who harass girls, physically and verbally, yet they still have girlfriends.

I wonder how these guys were able to have girlfriends in the first place, and I dont. It demoralizes me; as I am among the top in my class, I am athletic (ran 10 miles yesterday, on cross country and track teams), and active in music (7th year playing the clarinet).

Is there any insight on this type of perplexing behavior? Do girls seem to gravitate towards the more dysfunctional guys?

[Junior Ivan]

Try this dude
Ask Men (http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/heidi15.html)

[The_Professional]

If that's not really who you are, don't act like a jerk just to be a jerk, or because you think you'll get ladies that way. It doesn't work and it's the opposite of confidence.

[Monique]

Originally posted by motai
I still am confused as to why the girls in my school are always going out with these losers who disrespect them! These guys are jerks who harass girls, physically and verbally, yet they still have girlfriends.

I wonder how these guys were able to have girlfriends in the first place, and I dont. It demoralizes me; as I am among the top in my class, I am athletic (ran 10 miles yesterday, on cross country and track teams), and active in music (7th year playing the clarinet).

Is there any insight on this type of perplexing behavior? Do girls seem to gravitate towards the more dysfunctional guys? The reason is very clear, the jerks give the girls attention and ask them out, the nerds are locked up in their inner brain world and are too shy to approach a girl. This is a remark in general and is not meant as a remark to anyone here! But if you feel offended, that might mean it applies to you.

[The_Professional]

This is the classic Jerks vs. Nice Guys question. A female initially responds to male strength qualities in a man. So this jerks, no matter how cocky they may seem, get the girls because of their no-care attitude plus if they're really good looking he could easily get away with it. And as mentioned on a previous post, they're not afraid to lay their egos on the line. The female sees this man as fun, strong and independent.

This goes back to the time when women are huddled in caves and the man had to go out and slay the sabre toothed tiger for food. It's the man's job to ask a woman out, show her a fun time etc.. that's the way it is and that's the way it's going to be.

[PrudensOptimus]

I wonder why she invited me to her club... And is a club with bunch of girls... I thought I would see a bunch of her boyfriends, turned out no guys are there... just me.

[Monique]

You are stationary, an observer, apparently she has already undertaken action to befriend you, now how about the other way around?

You say she sometimes comes over to you and asks how's econ. Do you ever walk over to her and ask how she's doing? Do you?

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
You are stationary, an observer, apparently she has already undertaken action to befriend you, now how about the other way around?

You say she sometimes comes over to you and asks how's econ. Do you ever walk over to her and ask how she's doing? Do you?

Umm, not a lot. And umm, you mean she don't like me anymore ? :( [*(]

[Monique]

How is she supposed not to like you anymore if there was never a relationship to start with? It is up to you to make her like you, you have to be active and undertake action. Let her notice that you like her!

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
How is she supposed not to like you anymore if there was never a relationship to start with? It is up to you to make her like you, you have to be active and undertake action. Let her notice that you like her!

How am I suppose to do that? Jump up to her and say "I love you baby?" rofl, that would look pretty absurd.

[Monique]

Girls LOVE attention (I do anyway) give compliments on her hair if when she wears it differently than normal.

How you let her know you like her? Well, it is all very subtle and giving advice is hard. A stare that lasts a little longer than normal should be a good sign. Be carefull of where you are staring at though [;)]

Be helpfull, get close so that physical contact is possible.

Actually, there was once this guy in class that I think had a crush on me, I didn't fancy him or anything, but what he did was pretty effective: he was always standing close to me: leaning over when I was sitting at the computer, touched my hand when explaining a calculation which I had in my hands, one time we had to write something on a board in class and he was also standing very close and I had this dreamflash that we were kissing, lol, that was the weirdest experience ever, since: I didn't fancy him, but that is what attention does to you.

[Hurkyl]

That's a really cute pic, Monique. [;)]

[Monique]

Well, hope no guys I know are reading this forum (or.. I hope they do!) [;)]

[PrudensOptimus]

loll where should I stare at? and... he hold your hands??? Wouldn't a usual girl feel weird and uncomfortable when a guy comes up and hold her hands???

[Monique]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
loll where should I stare at? and... he hold your hands??? Wouldn't a usual girl feel weird and uncomfortable when a guy comes up and hold her hands??? Her face maybe??

No, I never said holding, I said touching! It is not unusual to point with your finger on a piece of paper right? Or when one can't really see it one can take the holder's hand to hold the paper closer right?

[Hurkyl]

Bah, my luck isn't good enough to have a smart, attractive girl I know IRL spill the way to her heart on a forum I read!

[Hurkyl]

It is not unusual to point with your finger on a piece of paper right?

Studying together is a great vehicle for enabling touching of this type. [;)]

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
Studying together is a great vehicle for enabling touching of this type. [;)]

:\ somehow I just don't feel comfortable accepting some girl's invitation to their houses to study together. not even guys.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
Her face maybe??

No, I never said holding, I said touching! It is not unusual to point with your finger on a piece of paper right? Or when one can't really see it one can take the holder's hand to hold the paper closer right?

Why not her body? [6)]

[Monique]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
:\ somehow I just don't feel comfortable accepting some girl's invitation to their houses to study together. not even guys. [o)] have you ever been invited? Seriously, have you? You declined? [o)]

Why not her body, yeah, you go stare at her body, be prepared for a long and lonely life with magazines lying under your mattress.

[Hurkyl]

\ somehow I just don't feel comfortable accepting some girl's invitation to their houses to study together. not even guys.

*gasp* If a girl I had a crush on invited me to her house, I'd go in a heartbeat! (I trust myself not to do anything stupid, though)

Homes aren't the only option; e.g. you can study at the library, or at a quiet restaurant (taking full advantage of free refills. [:D])

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
[o)] have you ever been invited? Seriously, have you? You declined? [o)]

Why not her body, yeah, you go stare at her body, be prepared for a long and lonely life with magazines lying under your mattress.

She asked me 3 or 4 times, but I said I can't make it.

[Monique]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
She asked me 3 or 4 times, but I said I can't make it. She asked you over at her house, she asked you over for Thanksgiving, she comes up to you at school and starts conversations, everytime you blow her off and you are asking how to approach this girl? [b(]

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
She asked you over at her house, she asked you over for Thanksgiving, she comes up to you at school and starts conversations, everytime you blow her off and you are asking how to approach this girl? [b(]

I told her I really can't make it, because i have other plans for christmas. I told her I really love to go if it was sometime after, and besides, she invited me because it was a CLUB POTLUCK, nothing personal.

[jimmy p]

I have to agree with monique here, you are unintentionally being defensive and so when she asks you to do things or spends time with you then you keep screwing up!!! ARGH!!! lol i wish i had it laid on a plate for me like you do! Drop everything and get round that house or, as monique said, get prepared to spend a lonely life with magazines under your mattress, or start "batting for the other side" lol
[6)]

[Andy]

i wish i had it laid on a plate for me like you do!

What dya mean, you wish? You make it sound like you've got it hard!

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by jimmy p
I have to agree with monique here, you are unintentionally being defensive and so when she asks you to do things or spends time with you then you keep screwing up!!! ARGH!!! lol i wish i had it laid on a plate for me like you do! Drop everything and get round that house or, as monique said, get prepared to spend a lonely life with magazines under your mattress, or start "batting for the other side" lol
[6)]

loll, "drop everything and walk around house" in a CLUB POTLUCK? I don't think that's possible. Her parents will be home anyways.

[Monique]

You said you were invited over for study, or were these other girls?

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
You said you were invited over for study, or were these other girls?

She did invite me over to help her fix a computer virus or some crap. But homework was offered by some seniors and junior girls in my ap classes.

[jimmy p]

Originally posted by Andy
What dya mean, you wish? You make it sound like you've got it hard!

Well, i've never really had (more likely noticed[6)] ) girls throwing themselves at me in the way that this girl seems to be, it took a lot of effort for me to get where i am...especially cos im lazy.

Make sure that if you are asked to study any science subjects, you stick to the subject matter...unless she asks nicely [;)]

[Monique]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
She did invite me over to help her fix a computer virus or some crap. That crap might very well be an excuse.

[Hurkyl]

loll, "drop everything and walk around house" in a CLUB POTLUCK? I don't think that's possible. Her parents will be home anyways.

Anything can be an excuse to be with someone.

And so what if her parents are home anyways?

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
That crap might very well be an excuse.

I think her computer is really infected with Blaster, because she even told me what the error msg was... And I am best known as either the "Computer Genius" or the "guy that does calculation in his head" to her. Of course, I'm not saying this to show off, and of course I dont want my fellow PhysicsForums buds to think of me as an "***", but that is what she called me with smile usually.

With that being said, I really do think her computer had a virus, even though it is a easy problem to fix...

[Hurkyl]

With that being said, I really do think her computer had a virus, even though it is a easy problem to fix...

All the more reason she wouldn't ask you over to fix it unless she simply wanted you over.

[jimmy p]

well she asked you because either:

1.) You're a nerd (no offence)
2.) She trusts you to help her
3.) She wants to spend time with you

I personally think that 1.) is wrong and therefore doesnt exist (so you arent a nerd!! WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!! [a)] ) but 2.) and 3.) are applicable.

[PrudensOptimus]

and another weird thing,. why does she always compare me to her father? by that she usually say things like, "u and my father are very similar, i'm sure u guys will become best friends."

[Monique]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
and another weird thing,. why does she always compare me to her father? by that she usually say things like, "u and my father are very similar, i'm sure u guys will become best friends." [o)] Are you kidding me? You are kidding me right? Are you making all this up?

Well, girls usually unconciously fall for guys that have the characteristics of their dad. And her saying that you and her dad could become friends says she sees you in her future life.

edit: with falling for guys that look like her dad, I mean really relation type, not the crush for jerks :)

[jimmy p]

*HAW HAW HAW* (eg. French persons laugh) You are een zere my Amereecan friend!! She said that cos the biggest problem that fathers have is their daughters boyfriend cos they dont want you doing anything to there precious child, but if she thinks you two would get on then what more do you want!!???!!!!!!!!!!!!???????!!!!!!!!!!!! [8)]

[The_Professional]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
:\ somehow I just don't feel comfortable accepting some girl's invitation to their houses to study together. not even guys.

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
She asked me 3 or 4 times, but I said I can't make it.

Ummm you keep denying her invitation and you wonder whether she still likes you? The answer is in your question she liked you.
Why not just ask her out, ask her home number say "Hi, Id like to take you out, listen to her response, she'll either say Yes or she'll give you an excuse.

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
and another weird thing,. why does she always compare me to her father? by that she usually say things like, "u and my father are very similar, i'm sure u guys will become best friends."

Originally posted by Monique
[o)] Are you kidding me? You are kidding me right? Are you making all this up?

Well, girls usually unconciously fall for guys that have the characteristics of their dad. And her saying that you and her dad could become friends says she sees you in her future life.

edit: with falling for guys that look like her dad, I mean really relation type, not the crush for jerks :)

Monique, is right she's seeing a future with you but due to your wishy-washy approach you lowered her interest level in you

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
[o)] Are you kidding me? You are kidding me right? Are you making all this up?

Well, girls usually unconciously fall for guys that have the characteristics of their dad. And her saying that you and her dad could become friends says she sees you in her future life.

edit: with falling for guys that look like her dad, I mean really relation type, not the crush for jerks :)


I might have quoted her with a little error, but basically what I can remember was something like that. EDIT: and when she said that, at first I always thought she thought of me as a nerd or something.

but um, I don't think I look like her dad, ... or maybe she has a picture of her daddy young??

[jimmy p]

oh yeah, i just remembered i have been meaning to ask this, the very first reply (from Zantra) was "be thankul you don't have chroot's problem..and live with it!" lol...what's chroots problem (to be nosey) [!:)]

[jimmy p]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
I might have quoted her with a little error, but basically what I can remember was something like that.

but um, I don't think I look like her dad, ... or maybe she has a picture of her daddy young??

*SLAPS FOREHEAD* maybe she doesnt mean looks!!! Think personality, tastes other less physical things!

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by jimmy p
*SLAPS FOREHEAD* maybe she doesnt mean looks!!! Think personality, tastes other less physical things!


Umm, she think i'm a nerd?? b/c her father is a well known scientist, as well as a mathematician.

btw, i don't wear glasses if you ask. her daddy doesnt either though.

[Monique]

Ever heard of charisma?

[jimmy p]

no no no..u think she would spend so much time trying to start a relationship with you cos she thinks you are a nerd?? you are still thinking physical. Maybe you have the same sense of humour as her dad, or similar mannerisms or ANYTHING! No matter what it is (unless it is disgusting habits like nose-picking) you are in luck!

[Hurkyl]

You sure you like this girl? You seem to avoid any interaction with her whatsoever... you keep worrying about whether she likes you, but if she doesn't that's all the more reason to do these things with her; so you can grow on her and convince her to like you! (Besides the immediate pleasure of spending some time with the girl you like!)

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
You sure you like this girl? You seem to avoid any interaction with her whatsoever... you keep worrying about whether she likes you, but if she doesn't that's all the more reason to do these things with her; so you can grow on her and convince her to like you!

I often question myself with the same question you have just asked me, very often, at least twice a day.

At night, I think of her, during day time, I think of her.

I just don't know what to do. But now I am trying many methods you guys taught me, and seem to make progress. Slow, but progressing.

[jimmy p]

Well dont make progress too slow or else she will lose interest/a jerk will nip in

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by jimmy p
Well dont make progress too slow or else she will lose interest/a jerk will nip in


I'm in the process of finding that out. If it's Swing, then... he's going to be sorry.

[rick1138]

Prudens, get your head together, blow off your family, call this girl NOW and accept her invitation. She asked you out four times and you wonder if she likes you???!!!!???? She invited you to her house, possibly to her bedroom, and you said no???? What are you on???

By the way, who is her father?

[The_Professional]

Originally posted by rick1138
Prudens, get your head together, blow off your family, call this girl NOW and accept her invitation. She asked you out four times and you wonder if she likes you???!!!!???? She invited you to her house, possibly to her bedroom, and you said no???? What are you on???


Damn straight [:)]

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by rick1138
Prudens, get your head together, blow off your family, call this girl NOW and accept her invitation. She asked you out four times and you wonder if she likes you???!!!!???? She invited you to her house, possibly to her bedroom, and you said no???? What are you on???

By the way, who is her father?


You wouldn't know her father if you are not in his field[6)]

And, umm.. Where else would she put her computer? I think bedroom is where most girls would put it...

And... who said she asked me out 4 times? She never asked me, even though she called me many times and ask me about econ... don't know how did she got my number...

and what's so special about get invted to her bedroom?

[rick1138]

In sales there is an expression "talking yourself out of a sale" and that occurs when someone has decided to buy something, then you turn around and convince them not to buy. Often relationships are the same.


She never asked me, even though she called me many times and ask me about econ...don't know how did she got my number...

You really don't get it, she doesn't give a damn about econ, she cares about you.

and what's so special about get invted to her bedroom?

??????!!!!!!!!!

The only thing I can think of here is a quote from the movie "It's a Wonderful Life"

"The problem with youth is that it is wasted on all the wrong people."

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by rick1138
In sales there is an expression "talking yourself out of a sale" and that occurs when someone has decided to buy something, then you turn around and convince them not to buy. Often relationships are the same.




You really don't get it, she doesn't give a damn about econ, she cares about you.



??????!!!!!!!!!

The only thing I can think of here is a quote from the movie "It's a Wonderful Life"

"The problem with youth is that it is wasted on all the wrong people."


Hey, I think you are actually right. She doesn't give a damn about econ, but I don't know if she took econ because of me.

[The_Professional]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
Hey, I think you are actually right. She doesn't give a damn about econ, but I don't know if she took econ because of me.

LOL You gotta ask her out

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by The_Professional
LOL You gotta ask her out

What if she refuse?

[The_Professional]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
What if she refuse?

How would you know if you don't ask her out? It doesn't matter whether she says yes or no.
The point is you're the Man because you ask her.
Look at it this way, she's missing out on you, you're the greatest thing since peanut butter. Okay.

If she says No, then move on to the next girl.

[Andy]

To be blunt here, You must either be really stupid, or making this up. Your Girl trouble is just down to you lacking confidence, just ask her out.

[Monique]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
What if she refuse? You have done the same to her, how do you think she felt after you refused all her requests?

She won't say flat out: no. She will make an excuse, oh sorry, I can't make it or whatever, same as you have been doing.

Just becarefull because some excuses might be real, but she'll then try to schedule for another time.

[Rook]

Amazing... 15 pages...
We could've solved the mystery of Creation in 15 pages... (joke)
If this is what most of guys are becoming, then it is a sad future for us indeed... (too many cowards who panic at the idea of women)
Here is a proven solution:
BE A MAN

[Andy]

(too many cowards who panic at the idea of women)

What a sad and pathetic thing to say, you must be gay!

[Monique]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
I often question myself with the same question you have just asked me, very often, at least twice a day.

At night, I think of her, during day time, I think of her.

I just don't know what to do. But now I am trying many methods you guys taught me, and seem to make progress. Slow, but progressing. Maybe you think you like her, because she has been giving you attention so you think she likes you. But really you don't like her, you are just wondering if she likes you, and if she does, you like her.

[Rook]

What a sad and pathetic thing to say, you must be gay!
Yes, that must be it.....
Truthfully, I probably pull more women then you have ever fantasized about.

How is that 'sad' and 'pathetic'? Take a good look around you. To many guys fear approaching women because: they are afraid of them, that they might get rejected, or that they don't know what to say (the list goes on and on). This is truely sad to see because picking up women is one of the most natural things for a man to do.
Instead of attacking what I say, why not make some helpful statements yourself. I thought you made a valid point:
To be blunt here, You must either be really stupid, or making this up. Your Girl trouble is just down to you lacking confidence, just ask her out.
He does lack confidence, hence, in this issue, he is displaying cowardice. But have faith, it is possible to change.

[Andy]

LOL at you.

There was no need for you to call him a coward.

[jimmy p]

For goodness sake, lets not have a lil arguement, this guys relationship (and maybe sexuality [6)] ) is at stake here!!


And to you Prudens, don't you think that 15 pages of people telling you to ask her out and the fact that the evidence lines up so perfectly to her liking you is enough incentive to get with her. Frankly, you are a fool if you leave it any longer. I know, I KNOW it is hard to put your genitalia on a guillotine and ask her out but to get anywhere in love you have to. Please, just take the hint from a lot of people and talk to her!!

To be nice, just do it and act [a)]

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by jimmy p
For goodness sake, lets not have a lil arguement, this guys relationship (and maybe sexuality [6)] ) is at stake here!!


And to you Prudens, don't you think that 15 pages of people telling you to ask her out and the fact that the evidence lines up so perfectly to her liking you is enough incentive to get with her. Frankly, you are a fool if you leave it any longer. I know, I KNOW it is hard to put your genitalia on a guillotine and ask her out but to get anywhere in love you have to. Please, just take the hint from a lot of people and talk to her!!

To be nice, just do it and act [a)]


Alright, I'll act. I'll come back and tell you guys the process.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
Maybe you think you like her, because she has been giving you attention so you think she likes you. But really you don't like her, you are just wondering if she likes you, and if she does, you like her.

No, I really like her.

[rick1138]

Good luck man!!! Go for it!!!

[jimmy p]

Good going! take this collective wisdom and use it to great effect (who says you have to stop at one [:D] ?)

[PrudensOptimus]

Progress #1!!!!

I asked her if she goes out with Swing, she said:

"WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA,
NOooooooooooooooooooooooooo."

[Monique]

that's progress, now you are free to make your move

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
that's progress, now you are free to make your move

what if she goes out with another guy?

[hypnagogue]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
what if she goes out with another guy?

Forgive me if I've missed something since I'm hopping onto this thread without reading the extensive history.

But in any case-- you need to go with what people have been telling you. Forget "what if"-- that manner of thinking is only going to work contrary to your goal.

If you want the rush of skydiving, you have to work up the bravery to jump out of the plane. There's just no two ways about it. It's scary and things can go wrong-- what if the parachute doesn't open? But the bottom line is, if you don't jump, you'll never get what you want. There comes a point where you have to silence all your worries no matter how much you want to cling to them, take a leap of faith, and see what happens.

We can talk another 15 pages, but this all just comes down to a Nike ad, my friend. Just do it. [:)]

[rick1138]

Ask her out NOW!!! Forget Swing or any other dude, think about her.

[PrudensOptimus]

I talked to her today(didn't ask her out yet), her face was red but she was bold. --> Bad or good?

[jimmy p]

I would say that was good, she is shy around you however she has courage (maybe the courage to get things going when you wouldnt...DIG DIG DIG) lol

[rick1138]

red face = blushing = very, very good.
+ she is fighting against her natural embarrassment in order to talk to you, which again = very very good.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by rick1138
red face = blushing = very, very good.
+ she is fighting against her natural embarrassment in order to talk to you, which again = very very good.

:D, shall I play big win big? [a)]

[BoulderHead]

I talked to her today(didn't ask her out yet), her face was red but she was bold. --> Bad or good?
PrudensOptimus,
It is a useful and good thing being able to pick up on body language, and I understand you are young and perhaps a bit nervous, but you must muster your resolve and stop worrying. If you feel you need to get used to rejection then I have a plan that can help (more later).

[The_Professional]

I think on the 100 hundredth page he will finally ask her out. By that time, she's already married with 3 kids...

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by The_Professional
I think on the 100 hundredth page he will finally ask her out. By that time, she's already married with 3 kids...

lol? i bet you i'll ask her out very soon.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by BoulderHead
PrudensOptimus,
It is a useful and good thing being able to pick up on body language, and I understand you are young and perhaps a bit nervous, but you must muster your resolve and stop worrying. If you feel you need to get used to rejection then I have a plan that can help (more later).

but, i don't know what to take her to... movies? no good movies lately, i heard girls don't like all action, horror or whatever.

[The_Professional]

Don't take her to the movies on a first date. You'll be staring at the screen for the next 2 hours or so and not say anything to each other.

Ask her to go dancing, play pool or just go bowling. You will teach her how to hold the cue stick

Or dancing..so she can have her hands all over you

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by The_Professional
Don't take her to the movies on a first date. You'll be staring at the screen for the next 2 hours or so and not say anything to each other.

Ask her to go dancing, play pool or just go bowling. You will teach her how to hold the cue stick

Or dancing..so she can have her hands all over you

I don't know how to dance :\[*(] [b(]

[The_Professional]

Follow my simple rules:

Just go with the bassline

Less is More

[rick1138]

Dancing is good, you don't have to be good, you just need to get on the dance floor. Girls love to dance.

[PrudensOptimus]

now I know why my mom make me learn dancing back in 9th grade, but they don't have that course in my school...

[jimmy p]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
lol? i bet you i'll ask her out very soon.


20th page then? [:D] I'm joking! Anyway with dancing, i never dance, i prefer to watch ladies. But it doesnt look too hard, just move to the beat i suppose. Or you could take her out...shopping. (Dont buy stuff for her, arrange to go on a trip with her or something) you get quality 1-1 time and you get to be the judge of her clothes.."yes, yes, show a little more skin" [;)]

[PrudensOptimus]

OK, she just invited me to her house again, this time i accept it. She told me her daddy can't fix the computer problem, and she told me her daddy is on a business trip, her mom is home though. And she said something that I didn't get, "Great, I'll do the cooking." --> What does that mean? can't her mom cook?

[Rook]

"Great, I'll do the cooking." --> What does that mean? can't her mom cook?
No, it means that she probably wants to show off to you. This is an excellent chance to 'qualify' her.

And about dancing: the truth is, not many people can 'dance'. Just look on the dance floor. "Modern" dancing consists of moving your body to the beat in a two step manner, or swaying from side-to-side. My advice, just get out there and 'move', look at other people if you need to and tryout some things they do. The point of dancing is to have fun. However, because you are young, the only dancing you will probably do will be at school affiliated dances.

The movie-date is a no-no. Its way too impersonal. Shopping is okay. I would suggest something like iceskating, putt-putt golf, or a dinner date. All are easy, cheap, and excellent ways of 'opening up' socially to each other (one on one).

[rick1138]

She's cooking for you? You are so in. By the way, joining a dance class is a way to meet a lot of girls. More than likely you will be one of very few males. You are also doing more than just finding a place to meet women, you are entering their fantasy worls, which has a very powerfu effect.

[PrudensOptimus]

:D

[PrudensOptimus]

Wait, after thinking, could she be using me all this time??

she invited me over to fix her computer,... that sounds like she's using me [b(] [t)] [*(]

[BoulderHead]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
Wait, after thinking, could she be using me all this time??


she invited me over to fix her computer,... that sounds like she's using me [b(] [t)] [*(] You should be so lucky!
Stop thinking and go fix everything she needs fixed, but take time to tell her nice things and be sure to win over her mother while you're at it. [:)]

[Chrono]

I don't think this is going to end.

[twizted1]

Originally posted by Chrono
I don't think this is going to end.

I concur! he'll finally get the nerve to ask her out when they're in the nursing home together...in about 70 years

Prudens: get off yer A$$, get some nerve, put your (thus far) non-existing love life on the line and ask her out. If you weren't in like flint before hand, you're only working your way down from the top. She's liked you for a long time so it seems, and has been waiting for you to come around to her. Shes asked you to do stuff with her several times so... GO FOR IT

-Ty

[rick1138]

Wait, after thinking, could she be using me all this time??

she invited me over to fix her computer,... that sounds like she's using me


Dude, you have her in the palm of your hand - she is NOT using you.

[Monique]

I need a smily with rolling eyes..

[twizted1]

Originally posted by Monique
I need a smily with rolling eyes..

we need a smiley specifically for this thread I think....one w/ a hand smacking itself in the head.....for whenever she loses interest in him before he gets the courage to do anything about it.

-Ty

[rick1138]

He has to act now, now is the perfect time, everything is set up - she asked him out five times, she's invited him to her bedroom, she's cooking for him, her parents know he's going to be in her bedroom and think it's perfectly OK...

at this point he doesn't even have to ask her out all he has to do is KISS HER.

[Monique]

Originally posted by rick1138
all he has to do is KISS HER. You might be right, that definately could work, but there needs to be tension. Between the two people I mean, not by the question if she likes him or not :P

[The Grimmus]

ok me being the social butterfly that i am i can only offer you this advice.

Don't punch her and say something like why are you ignoring me. It never ends good, i'd say just being suttle if your in any class and talk to her then that is good, but always be ready to let her go, a good way to do so is make a list of all of her flaws and then you see she isent worth anything.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
You might be right, that definately could work, but there needs to be tension. Between the two people I mean, not by the question if she likes him or not :P

I wish lol...[!:)] [8)] [zz)]

[Rook]

She wants you to come fix her computer...

My advice, go anyways, however don't offer to fix anything. If she asks you to, then she was probably using you (to a degree). Simply say: "There's nothing free in this world babe, what do I get out of it?" Or something to that degree would work, make sure you smile when you say it...

Wait... What am I saying? This is sad. Its like play-by-play dating.
Here's better advice: be the man you are and do what you want. At this point your only going to learn from experience, stop taking advice from a physics forum (or anything web-related, at this time), and just get out there and do it.

And here: this weekend, why not go out and start picking up other girls too!

[The Grimmus]

thats a perfect idea go out this weekend and become a pimp... master of your domain

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by The Grimmus
thats a perfect idea go out this weekend and become a pimp... master of your domain


Nooooo, pimpppin' is not good.


btw, should I watch Pear Harbor with her? I heard movies make girls cry are very effective on a date.

[BoulderHead]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
I heard movies make girls cry are very effective on a date.
What is your definition, in this instance, of the word "effective"?

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
She talks to you right? That must mean she likes you as a person, how did you get her AIM number?

You should just create a natural environment where you can ask her out for a date, as I said, get a one-on-one drink with her, discuss some common interests, the latest movies in the theater, ask her if she has seen one in particular yet, you have heard it is a great movie, no? ask her to go see it with you. If she says no and won't reschudule, safe your face by kindly saying 'I guess I have to go with Tom then' (or other friends name).

WHOAAAA, how did you know my name????

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by BoulderHead
What is your definition, in this instance, of the word "effective"?

Honestly, I don't know what effective really means in this case. [g)]

[motai]

One thing I learned about girls is not to call them names like boxcar. They dont seem to like that...

[rick1138]

Yes, any movie that makes girls cry is effective, because then you have to comfort them. Whatever you do, just ask her out.

[The Grimmus]

why no pimping, it's awsome and th ecolors are simply divine.
Yea man about that movie i would think that you would want to increase the time you speak to her, not sit in front of a screen and wait till she cries....and then you call her boxcar

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by motai
One thing I learned about girls is not to call them names like boxcar. They dont seem to like that...


boxcar????

[motai]

boxcar, sort of like saying (vaguely) that they are overweight.

[The_Professional]

Originally posted by Rook
She wants you to come fix her computer...

My advice, go anyways, however don't offer to fix anything. If she asks you to, then she was probably using you (to a degree). Simply say: "There's nothing free in this world babe, what do I get out of it?" Or something to that degree would work, make sure you smile when you say it...

That's a pretty good question. Say it in a playful tone. Having a funny, witty comeback like that would make her consider him as potential. Unfortunately, he let it dragged on too long..

Originally posted by Rook
Wait... What am I saying? This is sad. Its like play-by-play dating.
Here's better advice: be the man you are and do what you want. At this point your only going to learn from experience, stop taking advice from a physics forum (or anything web-related, at this time), and just get out there and do it.

And here: this weekend, why not go out and start picking up other girls too!
If she sees him hanging out with other girls, especially the real lookers she will perceive him as a Challenge hence more Desirable. But the fact that he can't even ask her out...well, you have to start not caring Prudens, be more brave. Playfully banter with other girls..it's better if she sees you hanging out with them.

[Chrono]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
btw, should I watch Pear Harbor with her? I heard movies make girls cry are very effective on a date.

Does this mean you're finally going to ask her out and watch a movie?

[rick1138]

No, he doesn't need to to play any of these games, he has already won her over. All he needs to do is ask her out. The master picks the fruit when it is ready.

[The_Professional]

I hope the next time we hear from him it will be along the lines of: We had a fun date, she's a good dancer, she taught me how to dance..

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by The_Professional
I hope the next time we hear from him it will be along the lines of: We had a fun date, she's a good dancer, she taught me how to dance..

I wish too [:D] [!:)] [a)] [;)] [6)] [o)]

[Chrono]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
I wish too

Don't wish, just do it.

[Monique]

"There's nothing free in this world babe, what do I get out of it?"

and

"why no pimping, it's awsome and th ecolors are simply divine."


Guys, pleazz never say those things again, EVER! Ok? [t)]
They sound really bad.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
"There's nothing free in this world babe, what do I get out of it?"

and

"why no pimping, it's awsome and th ecolors are simply divine."


Guys, pleazz never say those things again, EVER! Ok? [t)]
They sound really bad.


Those were good comments, but I don't think it would work on her, and maybe saying "There's nothing free in this world babe, what do I get out of it?" will make me sound like a miser...

[Chrono]

Originally posted by Monique
"There's nothing free in this world babe, what do I get out of it?"

and

"why no pimping, it's awsome and th ecolors are simply divine."


Guys, pleazz never say those things again, EVER! Ok? [t)]
They sound really bad.

I understand the second comment, but I don't see anything wrong with the first one, if it's done in a playful, nonthreatening way, of course.

[rick1138]

Those comments are lame. Putting women down is lame.

[The_Professional]

The bottomline is just ask her out.

[jimmy p]

Originally posted by rick1138
No, he doesn't need to to play any of these games, he has already won her over. All he needs to do is ask her out. The master picks the fruit when it is ready.


Says the man from Del Monte [:D] . What did i say? 20th page OH YEAH! If you are gonna be playful and not 'work for free' make sure you dont go too low, or you'll end up looking like one of the aforementioned 'jerk'-type boyfriends, all full of bravodo and sexual innuendo.

Jeez, she is like Putty in your hands Prudens...thinking about it, you are like putty in ours MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! but we are nice putty manipulators [:)]

Cinema is like a no-no area as someone said, cos you end up watching the screen instead of eachother. If anything, invite her over to watch a movie at your house. You could snuggle and get close on the sofa [;)]

[The_Professional]

Originally posted by jimmy p

Cinema is like a no-no area as someone said, cos you end up watching the screen instead of eachother. If anything, invite her over to watch a movie at your house. You could snuggle and get close on the sofa [;)]

That's a contradictory statement. You said cinema is a no-no yet you say he should invite her over for a movie at his house. Same thing, they're both gonna be staring at the screen.

As mentioned before, any type of activity where you both get to do something physically, dancing..bowling..pool, or go to the zoo. Should be fine. But first you have to ASK HER OUT.

[Monique]

I don't recommend a home movie on the first date either, especially with prudens, can you imagine the tension when all he can think about is how to do his next move, the yawning arm for instance :P

[twizted1]

Originally posted by Monique
I don't recommend a home movie on the first date either, especially with prudens, can you imagine the tension when all he can think about is how to do his next move, the yawning arm for instance :P

I think he'd be too mortified [8)] at having her sitting in the same room with him and only him...He'd be too worried about what she'd think if he so much as breathed wrong to think about making a move....or he'd be running to his computer every few mins to ask us for advice.. "Uhmm she said hi...what do i say now?"...."she looked at me"...."she touched my arm...."..."oh my gawd i think she tried to make a move on me..."

-Ty

[rick1138]

He needs to take her to see Chevelle and get into the mosh pit.

[The Grimmus]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
Those were good comments, but I don't think it would work on her, and maybe saying "There's nothing free in this world babe, what do I get out of it?" will make me sound like a miser...
haha you honestly think that bit about pimping is a good comment?

[twizted1]

Originally posted by rick1138
He needs to take her to see Chevelle and get into the mosh pit.

hey! I'd pretend to be gay and go on a "date" with him for that...would just have to keep remindin him i'm an old fashioned guy...no touching...staring...lovey dovey stuff till after the 6th or 7th MONTH of constant/weekly outings such as that....


-Ty

[Monique]

And how can "There's nothing free in this world babe, what do I get out of it?" be a good comment?? No matter HOW you say it, it sounds very cocky and too self confident and too mocking and too lame.

I know someone who talk like that and thinks he is all that, but it makes him look like an immature dork.

[rick1138]

I just saw them for the first time the other night - had never heard of them or about them before - they were great, a fantasic live act, plus I had a potentially life changing experience at the show.

[Monique]

Originally posted by rick1138
plus I had a potentially life changing experience at the show. I'm curious: potentially life changing experience? [t)]

[rick1138]

Involving a girl I am pursuing, I ran into her in the mosh pit at Chevelle, literally, the last place in the world I would expect to see her and the last place in the world that she would expect to see me. I went there to forget about her. When she saw me she had a look of shock on her face, said" Oh my God" and put her hand up to her mouth. I don't know if her reaction was good or bad but I know she will never see me in the same light again. I had seen her previously a few nights before while I was dressed very elegantly in expensive clothing.

[Monique]

Originally posted by rick1138
I had seen her previously a few nights before while I was dressed very elegantly in expensive clothing. Ahhh! Very good [:D] all lovebirds on this forum [t)] Elegant expensive clothing, exactly what a girl want to see :) (you must be aware of the suit syndrome :P)

[Monique]

Now where is MY prince charming?? [8)] [*(]

[Hurkyl]

We need a relationship discussion forum. So who's next to spill their problems? [:)]

[The Grimmus]

Originally posted by Monique
And how can "There's nothing free in this world babe, what do I get out of it?" be a good comment?? No matter HOW you say it, it sounds very cocky and too self confident and too mocking and too lame.

I know someone who talk like that and thinks he is all that, but it makes him look like an immature dork.
But if you say "There's no free lunch" You can see her reactionto it, then when you realize she either dosent understand or dosent like your comment you can contiune to say, so let me buy you some

[The Grimmus]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
We need a relationship discussion forum. So who's next to spill their problems? [:)]

I'm surprised so many people are talking about this on a PF. Take that sterotypes!

[Hurkyl]

Aren't we nerds more likely to have troubles? [;)]

[Monique]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
Aren't we nerds more likely to have troubles? [;)] nerds? are there nerds in here? nooo, we just have more empathy :)

[The Grimmus]

yea us nerds (although i consider my self to be an outcast because i dont have a lot of initative... oh and i cant spell) may have more problems but i would think that we dotn haev the answers

[PrudensOptimus]

I sent her a bag of chocolate for xmas. Delivered by the school people to classes. Wrote a msg for her too. Happy xmas. from me.

[Hurkyl]

It's easier to solve other people's problems. [:(]

[The Grimmus]

personaly no matter how bad i liked soemoen i couldent resit the laugh of sending a bag of poo, or fake poo with like a ha bet you thought it was poo card in it

[rick1138]

Killer move Prudens.

[PrudensOptimus]

i just told her she look pretty today,

and she was like hahah, thats real nice of you saying that.

[The Grimmus]

wait an uneasy laugh or a hahaha,can't let my feeilings show laugh

[BoulderHead]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
i just told her she look pretty today,

and she was like hahah, thats real nice of you saying that.
You're Soooooo romantic, hehe. [:D]
Ok, let's get down to the nitty gritty; have you gone over to her house yet, or has the offer been postponed?

Also, have you ever heard of the BoBo Bolinski technique?

[Chrono]

Originally posted by twizted1
I think he'd be too mortified [8)] at having her sitting in the same room with him and only him...He'd be too worried about what she'd think if he so much as breathed wrong to think about making a move....or he'd be running to his computer every few mins to ask us for advice.. "Uhmm she said hi...what do i say now?"...."she looked at me"...."she touched my arm...."..."oh my gawd i think she tried to make a move on me..."


How about going somewhere public? For instance, since it's Christmas time there are bound to be some sort of concert playing, they can go to one of them. Or perhaps a double, or group, date?

[The Grimmus]

but when you go out on a group date make sure to get some really ugly freinds of yours to go so you know you look better compaired to them

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by BoulderHead
You're Soooooo romantic, hehe. [:D]
Ok, let's get down to the nitty gritty; have you gone over to her house yet, or has the offer been postponed?

Also, have you ever heard of the BoBo Bolinski technique?


she told me her daddy will fix it... didn't say anything else... [t)] [*(] [b(]


and umm, yea xmas, i am planning a group date with my junior and senior friends... but i really don't know if she has interest in me or ... just using me [g)] [:(]

[BoulderHead]

Hmmm, it sounds like you may have not acted swiftly enough and lost a chance to go over to her house. Since her daddy is fixing the computer instead of you, I'm wondering why you are thinking about being used?
Anyway, you may be in need of some using.[:D]

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by BoulderHead
Hmmm, it sounds like you may have not acted swiftly enough and lost a chance to go over to her house. Since her daddy is fixing the computer instead of you, I'm wondering why you are thinking about being used?
Anyway, you may be in need of some using.[:D]


... We agreed on Saturday... only Thursday today... and she said nothing about her house at school.

btw, i don't think her dad will be back until next week.

[BoulderHead]

Then the very next time you see her it might be a good idea to tell her how pretty she is again, and how much you're looking forward to Sat. [;)]

[twizted1]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
... We agreed on Saturday... only Thursday today... and she said nothing about her house at school.

btw, i don't think her dad will be back until next week.

hrmmm....dad's gone....shes askin you over to her house....hrmm...makes you wonder...<sarcasm> yeah I think shes usin you man! </sarcasm> DUDE TAKE A HINT! of course if you had taken it to begin with you wouldnt be in this situation. Just be blunt with her "hey i think yer kinda cute...what ya doin this weekend? wanna go *insert random NON-movie FUN thing here*?" and if she says no and gives you an excuse ask her when she'd like to go, if she flat turns you down her loss....there's other girls out there, and she knows it. If she doesnt like you some other girl will...

-Ty

[jimmy p]

getting closer to the 100 pages mark, almost a quarter of the way there! [:D] Im not dissing you or anyone else cos they have some really good advice but maybe you should go on your own instincts at some point. Have a spur of the moment time when you decide what YOU want to do. Obviously you know the situation better than us, cos if you have been reading the body language, that helps a hell of a lot more than words. Just act soon cos (to be a hypocrit and give advice!) it sounds like she is losing patience (her dad is gonna fix the computer/you havent gone to her house/you havent noticed the big sign over her head which says "i love you Prudens" [:D]

[twizted1]

Originally posted by jimmy p
getting closer to the 100 pages mark, almost a quarter of the way there! [:D]
you havent noticed the big sign over her head which says "i love you Prudens" [:D]

DOH! a big sign over her head? where did i miss that post??[8)] [:D]

she's done everything but hold up a sign that says "im yours....take me prudens..." she has poked...prodded...pushed...hinted....invited....as ked....questioned...ya...and you still havn't took the hint...so take the hint and go out on a limb! take jimmyp (the great revolution leader)'s advice make some decisions on your own...decide what YOU want to do....but most of all take the damn hint already....she DOES...ok DID like you....and thats waning now...so go for it while she's still interested....

-Ty

[Monique]

Originally posted by jimmy p
it sounds like she is losing patience (her dad is gonna fix the computer/you havent gone to her house/you havent noticed the big sign over her head which says "i love you Prudens" [:D] I haven't studied psychology but actually, I just realized that the reason she is saying her dad will fix it for her is because you have not been very helpfull to her, this way she is trying to safe HER face, that she really doesn't need you (although she wants you).

I would be the same, if I ask someone to do something and they say oh wait, a minute, later, maybe.. I'd say: 'You know what? I'll do it myself!'

[Grek]

Pruden,
Hi

How old are you and this girl? I don't know how you males work, but the more I hang out with a guy whom I think is cute, the clearer it becomes to whether or not I like him or not. Most girls like to be with guys for their personality, because it is their personality that makes them hot or not.

So, you gotta spend more time with her. You're not going to get anywhere if you guys don't hang out and have FUN. Girls like guys that aren't just "romantic" but are FUN too.

Best advice to you is to think of things to do, hang out with her, and have lots of fun. And be crazy too, some girls dig that.

Don't overdo anything though, what girl would like a guy that is annoying. Play the game smart - give a little take a little.

[rick1138]

They are in their mid-teens - they already know each other fairly well through school. Prudens already has her heart, all he has to do know is ask her out.

[Grek]

Ahhh... good ole kids

[Grek]

So heres one

[PrudensOptimus]

She said she didn't get the candy..., but people said she got it... And when I try to catch up to her to talk after school, she tries to end the conversation really fast... I don't really want to "bother" her if she don't want me to bother :\

I guess this is the end, thanks for the help guys.

[The_Professional]

Take those mistakes you did here, Correct them on the Next girl. So the next time your soulmate comes along, you won't be too timid to say "Hi Caprice, I'd like to take you out sometime, what's your home phone number?"

[Monique]

awh... nooo! we need a "and they lived happily ever after"

[:(]

[jimmy p]

How about, he learns from these mistakes, finds a new (even hotter) girl and lives HAPPILY EVER AFTER? lol. Tut tut, i think that everyone should post an 'I told you so' post. [6)]

[rick1138]

I guess this is the end, thanks for the help guys.


Nah, just the end of the first round. Her actions are typical of a shy girl. You have done nothing wrong. What you do need to do is ignore her for a while and chase other women - and if you find someone better - so be it.

[The Grimmus]

well that was a fun 8 page thread, and it had a happy ending, maybe not for all of you, but for someone who needs to see others fail to become more pompus it's one of the greatest endings ever,

and i am in agreeance with the above post you need to pimp, or talk to someone who knows her freinds so you can know what she's thinking. Or spy on her

[rick1138]

No, don't do any of those things, those are the worst possible things to do.

[Zeke]

forget about her in ten years it wont matter if you went out or not or if she even liked you personly i dont care about other people they will just stab you in the back sooner or later im not trying to be rude but thats my personal oppion

[The_Professional]

Group dates with a girl you're wooing is a no-no, why? It's hard to get a clear read on her when she's with other people and one of the people in the group may also like her so you just brought a competition with you.
Just keep the date one on one.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by The_Professional
Group dates with a girl you're wooing is a no-no, why? It's hard to get a clear read on her when she's with other people and one of the people in the group may also like her so you just brought a competition with you.
Just keep the date one on one.


In a group date I would bring a Junior or Senior "couple", or hopefully "couple." I have a senior friend who wants to go out with another senior, who appeared to be very close friends with the girl I like; and maybe out of coincidence,... the senior friend of mine is also a very very close friend.

[PrudensOptimus]

Now I actually understand the feeling of getting rejected; I feel very proud of myself bearing the sadness of getting rejected.

[hypnagogue]

Now that you know you can deal with the pain of rejection, you know that you can be more brave and upfront in the future when it comes to chasing a potential love interest.

Right? [:)]

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by hypnagogue
Now that you know you can deal with the pain of rejection, you know that you can be more brave and upfront in the future when it comes to chasing a potential love interest.

Right? [:)]

I only love her.[t)]

[PrudensOptimus]

After keep thinking about her... I wanna suicide now. [*(] [t)] [b(] [:(] [:((]

[rick1138]

Are you serious? If you are you need to talk to a parent or a doctor. If not don't joke about suicide, it's not funny.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by rick1138
Are you serious? If you are you need to talk to a parent or a doctor. If not don't joke about suicide, it's not funny.


Wait a damn minute,... after thinking, I think I actually have a 2nd ROUND to play!!!!!

I'm gonna buy her some more chocolates on monday.

[Hurkyl]

And that is when you find out she's allergic to chocolate and she hates your guts because you're so mean!

[rick1138]

The best thing to do at this point is to back off for a while.

[The_Professional]

When you bought more gifts, you unconsciously perceived that she's backing away from you and you're losing her. It is a desperate move. So buying her more gifts is not going to help your cause. As mentioned previously, back away from her, give her some space.

[PrudensOptimus]

OK, here's the deal:


On Monday, she and another friend of hers would be sitting at a booth selling chocolates, the buyer would have to pay and fill out a small "flower card."

Should I buy her 2 boxes, or buy 1 for her, 1 for another friend of hers, or 2 boxes for some other girl??(could be her friends).

[Monique]

I'd say go and buy some chocolates from her, but play it easy and just be nice.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
I'd say go and buy some chocolates from her, but play it easy and just be nice.

Pray for me[t)] [:))]

[PrudensOptimus]

Should I still show up in her club? I really don't wanna "bother" her if she prefer me to be unseen. Even though she didn't say that, but I felt like she refused me from what her friend told me.

I wrote a letter to her today, after purchasing candy:

"I can't stop thinking about you, every second without you in my mind is like a living hell. However, having learned that you are in the pursue of another man's heart just last night from a friend of yours, I shall not steal another man's heart. May the best wishes to you and that man. This may be my last letter to you. Farewell."

[BoulderHead]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
Should I still show up in her club? I really don't wanna "bother" her if she prefer me to be unseen. Even though she didn't say that, but I felt like she refused me from what her friend told me.

I wrote a letter to her today, after purchasing candy:

"I can't stop thinking about you, every second without you in my mind is like a living hell. However, having learned that you are in the pursue of another man's heart just last night from a friend of yours, I shall not steal another man's heart. May the best wishes to you and that man. This may be my last letter to you. Farewell."
Prudens,
I’d like to know how this whole drawn out affair has gone from her showing all kinds of interest in you, even asking you over to her house, to what you’re doing now?

I’m not even going to rip into you because I believe you really do need to continue making mistakes until you have made enough of them to learn a few things about the opposite sex. Now, are you ready for my plan yet?

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by BoulderHead
Prudens,
I’d like to know this whole drawn out affair has gone from her showing all kinds of interest in you, even asking you over to her house, to what you’re doing now?

I’m not even going to rip into you because I believe you really do need to continue making mistakes until you have made enough of them to learn a few things about the opposite sex. Now, are you ready for my plan yet?

What's your plan, chief?

[rick1138]

Prudens, the letter, the candy, and the spying, are the worst possible things you can do at this point. Don't ever ask a girl's friend for information about her, because her friend will always tell the girl about you asking, and will edit the conversation, usually in a way that you will not like. As I said before, you need to back off .

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by rick1138
Prudens, the letter, the candy, and the spying, are the worst possible things you can do at this point. Don't ever ask a girl's friend for information about her, because her friend will always tell the girl about you asking, and will edit the conversation, usually in a way that you will not like. As I said before, you need to back off .

Back off? What do you mean? Avoid her? Keep distance?

[rick1138]

Exactly. Don't pursue her. Don't be rude, but ignore her for a while.

[rick1138]

Socialize with other girls as well.

[Monique]

Originally posted by rick1138
Exactly. Don't pursue her. Don't be rude, but ignore her for a while. Don't ignore her, since that would be rude and shows a bad temper. Just be easy, smile at her but don't hang on her lip.

I can't stop thinking about you, every second without you in my mind is like a living hell. However, having learned that you are in the pursue of another man's heart just last night from a friend of yours, I shall not steal another man's heart. May the best wishes to you and that man. This may be my last letter to you. Farewell Very bad idea, you have not had an intimate discussion yet about your feelings so there is no reason to give her permission to look at other guys. Don't even think about giving this to her, since it will only do damage.

It is good though to get your feelings out, it is good that you wrote this down to vent your heart. Pretend you write it to her, but keep it to yourself.

[PrudensOptimus]

OK, it appeared that I was assuming too much; today I walk passed her without notice, she said "hi tom" and i think her face turned red like apple,... and i smiled.


But another thing is I sent another box of chocolate yesterday to a Polish girl I really like, and I think she likes me, because... weird, she moved to sit next to me(do I have powers to attract girls in class rooms to move next to me or what? didn't mean to offend guys out there)

and today I got a card from her that she made really urgently in a computer class.

"Sorry for the cheesy card, I made in Computer class. Thanks for the candy. - Love Renee"

The card wasn't bad at all, it was very good.

I don't know if she likes me or not, not really sure, but she act like it. Can you tell from the card?

[rick1138]

Well you are starting to learn some of the basic postulates of chasing women:

1. The behavior of women is less predictable than that of a quantum particle. One minute you are a god, the next, a stalker.
2. Whenever you stop thinking about a girl, that is when she starts thinking about you.


do I have powers to attract girls in class rooms to move next to me or what?


Yes, everyone has this power - this power is what created you. You have always had this power, you are now only becoming aware of it.


"Sorry for the cheesy card, I made in Computer class. Thanks for the candy. - Love Renee"

The card wasn't bad at all, it was very good.

I don't know if she likes me or not, not really sure, but she act like it. Can you tell from the card?





Dude, what does this say? - "Love Renee" Does it have to be spelled out in a more obvious fashion?

[Chrono]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
"Sorry for the cheesy card, I made in Computer class. Thanks for the candy. - Love Renee"

The card wasn't bad at all, it was very good.

I don't know if she likes me or not, not really sure, but she act like it. Can you tell from the card?

If she didn't like you, why go through the trouble of making you the card?

[The_Professional]

The question is, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO ASK HER OUT?

[iansmith]

Originally posted by The_Professional
The question is, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO ASK HER OUT?

Hopefully not 25 pages latter [;)]

[Hurkyl]

It's gonna take at least 25 pages to decide which one to ask out. [:)]

[BoulderHead]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
It's gonna take at least 25 pages to decide which one to ask out. [:)]
[:D]

(do I have powers to attract girls in class rooms to move next to me or what? didn't mean to offend guys out there)

She may have knowledge that you have shown an interest in the opposite sex lately and would like to be considered. Don't let it go to your head, Monique has given you alot of good advise that I agree with. Best of all, it is coming from a female so you need to pay attention.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by BoulderHead
[:D]


She may have knowledge that you have shown an interest in the opposite sex lately and would like to be considered. Don't let it go to your head, Monique has given you alot of good advise that I agree with. Best of all, it is coming from a female so you need to pay attention.


Don't let it go in my head? You mean don't ask her out?

[BoulderHead]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
Don't let it go in my head? You mean don't ask her out?
I mean don't start thinking you have a magic powers over women.

[jimmy p]

ok Prudens...is Renee the polish girl or the girl you liked originally? I'm sorry to say but you are your own worst enemy. Choose who you want but DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! no point in wasting time.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by jimmy p
ok Prudens...is Renee the polish girl or the girl you liked originally? I'm sorry to say but you are your own worst enemy. Choose who you want but DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! no point in wasting time.

The girl I liked originally is the girl I've been talking about for 25 pages... But it's not going anywhere,... perhaps is, but soo slow. And now Renee came into the play..., I see her more often, have a class with her, she's very initiative...

But the sad thing is,... I'm leaving for Math school; Chances are I will not see them at math school at beginning of August unless they apply.

[Hurkyl]

How far away is math school? You could still see each other after school / on weekends, right? You have 8 months to establish a date by default on Saturday night. [:)]

[BoulderHead]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
The girl I liked originally is the girl I've been talking about for 25 pages... But it's not going anywhere,... perhaps is, but soo slow...
Next time don't wait 25 pages before you make a serious move (it will help speed things up a little). [:D]

If there will be any girls at math school I suggest you make to point to ask one of them out each and every day until none remain. This will get you used to rejection, diminish your hesitancy, and no doubt win you several dates. In no time at all you’ll be ready to write a book helping others to work past their timid nature.

When the bell rings, come out of your corner swinging. [6)]

[Bubonic Plague]

I only read the first few pages, so if my two-cents worth is outdated, forget it.

The girl I liked originally is the girl I've been talking about for 25 pages... But it's not going anywhere,... perhaps is, but soo slow. And now Renee came into the play..., I see her more often, have a class with her, she's very initiative...

If you like a girl, don't ever say or hint that you like her or anything like that, you're gonna scare her away man.

Just ask her out, but remember, don't make it a date. Just say to her something like, "Hey, I'm gonna go play pool next thursday, i think you should come along and get your *** whipped."

Have a little more self-confidence too. Just cause she's seeing other guys doesn't mean you can't get her. Play your cards right and you'll be able to wrestle her from them.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by BoulderHead
Next time don't wait 25 pages before you make a serious move (it will help speed things up a little). [:D]

If there will be any girls at math school I suggest you make to point to ask one of them out each and every day until none remain. This will get you used to rejection, diminish your hesitancy, and no doubt win you several dates. In no time at all you’ll be ready to write a book helping others to work past their timid nature.

When the bell rings, come out of your corner swinging. [6)]


ROFLLLL....


btw, Math School is 30 min from the school i attend right now; And, I really hope they can go because... you live at Math school, only go home on the weekends. So it's much easier to ask a girl to a movie there, since there is like a theatre across the street from math school.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Bubonic Plague
I only read the first few pages, so if my two-cents worth is outdated, forget it.



If you like a girl, don't ever say or hint that you like her or anything like that, you're gonna scare her away man.

Just ask her out, but remember, don't make it a date. Just say to her something like, "Hey, I'm gonna go play pool next thursday, i think you should come along and get your *** whipped."

Have a little more self-confidence too. Just cause she's seeing other guys doesn't mean you can't get her. Play your cards right and you'll be able to wrestle her from them.


Yes, I'm working on conquering my shy nature; and it really works.

[rick1138]

Ask her out now, don't wait until August

[Andy]

Yea ask her out now, this is coming from someone who has recently got a girlfriend without 2 much beating about the bush, so much so that barely any of my mates knew we where seeing each other until a few weeks after i asked her out, aint that rite jimmy.[:D]

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by rick1138
Ask her out now, don't wait until August


Renee, the polish girl?

[jimmy p]

Hey hey. Yeah, usually im one of the first to hear about Andy's life and he had been going out with this girl for 2 weeks...then i broke up with my gf and everyone new in about 5 seconds..tho i dont think geoff knows

[The_Professional]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
Renee, the polish girl?

LOL whoever, get yourself out of woulda, should, coulda land.
JUST ASK HER OUT

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by The_Professional
LOL whoever, get yourself out of woulda, should, coulda land.
JUST ASK HER OUT

Out to where... theatre? Meet her there? What if her mom or dad came along? That would suck :\

[rick1138]

Just ask someone out. And yeah, Polish girls are hot.

[Chrono]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
Out to where... theatre? Meet her there? What if her mom or dad came along? That would suck :\

Even if her parents came with her, which I highly doubt that would happen, you just got to make the best of it. However, you must ask her out before you start with the worrying.

[The_Professional]

The path of courage or the path of fear, which one is it gonna be boy?

[Hurkyl]

Think of it this way:

Going on a date with her parents around is better than no date at all, right?


Just be glad that the girl you want to ask isn't packing to go on a two week vacation the day you decide to ask her. [6)]

[The_Professional]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
Think of it this way:

Going on a date with her parents around is better than no date at all, right?


Plus, going back to my previous post he can prove to them how great of a guy he is by showing them all a good time. Which would help his cause.

[PrudensOptimus]

Should I ask her for her phone #? And,... I'm still having some doubts, she wrote "Love Renee", couldn't that be love in a normal way???

[Monique]

Why are you making these things into an "All-or-Nothing" situation? That is your main obstacle.

As Bubonic Plague said:
"Just ask her out, but remember, don't make it a date. Just say to her something like, "Hey, I'm gonna go play pool next thursday, i think you should come along and get your *** whipped.""

I would personally leave out the ***-whipping part in that sentence [;)], but first go and do something neutral, move into the inner circle, let the game of flirtation do its thing and you'll be surprised how easy it can be.

[Hurkyl]

And don't forget, the longer you wait, the easier it is to talk yourself out of it. [:(]

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
And don't forget, the longer you wait, the easier it is to talk yourself out of it. [:(]

:\ the next time I see her is probably after winter break.

[jimmy p]

Originally posted by rick1138
Just ask someone out. And yeah, Polish girls are hot.


Find a Swedish girl, THEY are hot! *drools* Swedish girls have to be the finest in the world. 2nd comes Brazilian girls! [6)]

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by jimmy p
Find a Swedish girl, THEY are hot! *drools* Swedish girls have to be the finest in the world. 2nd comes Brazilian girls! [6)]


The girl I've been talking about for the first 25 pages is a Chinese girl who grew up in Sweden, very very very hot.

[Chrono]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
The girl I've been talking about for the first 25 pages is a Chinese girl who grew up in Sweden, very very very hot.

All asian girls are hot, or at least I think so.

[Bubonic Plague]

Should I ask her for her phone #? And,... I'm still having some doubts, she wrote "Love Renee", couldn't that be love in a normal way???

Look man, do you want to just go out there and learn how to ride a bicycle, or do you want to theororize and read lots of books on how to ride a bicycle?

If you want her phone number, just strike up a conversation with her, then when it's starting to get damn good, leave. But after walking a few steps, turn back and ask her, "Do you have a email address?". If she says yes, just take out a piece of paper and a pen and hand it to her, while she writes down her email address, say "Write down your phone number too."

[Chrono]

Originally posted by Bubonic Plague
If you want her phone number, just strike up a conversation with her, then when it's starting to get damn good, leave. But after walking a few steps, turn back and ask her, "Do you have a email address?". If she says yes, just take out a piece of paper and a pen and hand it to her, while she writes down her email address, say "Write down your phone number too."

This would work, but what's wrong with just going up to her and asking her for the phone number? Of course, when you do get it you may have another obstacle to overcome, actually getting the nerve to call her. Even I suffer from this sort of phobia.

[Bubonic Plague]

This would work, but what's wrong with just going up to her and asking her for the phone number?

How would you feel if someone came up to you and said, "Can i have your phone number?" Chatting with her will ease the transition.

[Chrono]

Originally posted by Bubonic Plague
How would you feel if someone came up to you and said, "Can i have your phone number?" Chatting with her will ease the transition.

Point taken. Guess this shows how much experience I have.

[PrudensOptimus]

Okay, back from a 4 day convention.

While I was there, I did some cool stuff with a very very cute girl, and hoping to know her more, she is really shy, but maybe it was because she was in the process of struggling with a minor seasonal cold.

And wow, I was just googling ... and I found her Xanga journal...

Anyways... I brought her and her little brother to watch Lord of the Rings with a few of my friends. Preordered the tickets a day prior to play, bought her hot dogs, popcorn, but when she was there, she tried to pay me back because she said her mom says "no free stuff."

Having that being said, I insisted her to instead of paying me back, pay for her little brother.

Anyways, I bought her a very nice looking card before I leave, hoping her cough goes away soon, (the front cover says "You are speacial", with a big heart...)

She left me a note before I leave:

"Tom,

Thank you for the movie, hot dog, and CARD. I'm flattered and appreciate the thought, but I don't feel the same way.

I would like to be JUST friends. From what the card said, that did not seem like your intention. You don't need to try so hard to impress someone. It's whats INSIDE counts. Please dont take this the wrong way, I am not being ungrateful for the nice things you did, but I just didn't really appreciate that you tried so hard.

Well, thanks for everything you did.

See you NEXT year, if I go.

- XXXXXX"

[PrudensOptimus]

She is just... perfect. Her smile is so beautiful,... I dont even know how to describe it. You have to see her to know what I am saying.

She has an older sister... (I thought they were twins), ...

And her little brother... sigh... little smart @$$, try to play a 1700 chess player.

Um,.. did I mention she was so perfect? God is so perfect, amazing how he created this girl.

Next time I see her would be ... in 361 days., the next winter conference... [*(] [t)]

[Bubonic Plague]

Anyways, I bought her a very nice looking card before I leave, hoping her cough goes away soon, (the front cover says "You are speacial", with a big heart...)

Maybe you shouldn't have bared your soul so early on.

[The_Professional]

Originally posted by Bubonic Plague
Maybe you shouldn't have bared your soul so early on.

True

[Monique]

Prudens, the biggest part of the game of love is flirtation. You seem to be going straight to confessing your love.

Read carefully what the girl said, since it is very typical and the same thing will happen if you don't learn from this experience.

"I am not being ungrateful for the nice things you did, but I just didn't really appreciate that you tried so hard."

It should be a play, interaction between two people, love grows and you have to give it time. By coming on strong in the beginning you scare the girl away.

[PrudensOptimus]

Err... after looking at her albums, I think she already has a boyfriend... [g)] [t)]

[Unkaspam]

That doesn't matter. You are the hunkaburninlove. You have the power to turn her onto the lord, cookies, milk, even a Balley's around Christmas.

Why not deek the boyfriend and flirt with her around NewYears? If you've got some scratch to share with her, you guys can head to a good, upscale restaurant (if there are any in your town) and start there. Have some Christmas spirit... Jesus likes the stuff too. Look what he did with the water!

If I was you I'd look like Clark Gable, Cary Grant and Colin Farrel wrapped up in whatever your name is, sweep her onto the Public Transit (if your town has any) or into your pickup truck or your Prius if your driving one and show her you can take care of her. Show her your are worth leaving her current current at least for a New Year's eve.

Through all of this you will have shared an adventure and this is a truely bonding experience. These bonds don't necessarily land you going at it in the sack with your fantasy girl (check for any distantly shared genetic relations) or in the fitting room of a hoity foity lingery store... but you will have shared some laughs and perhaps some dancing.

Don't listen to me. Have a good year!

[The_Professional]

The girl already said she wants to be "Just Friends". Meaning no chance in hell.

[Bubonic Plague]

The girl already said she wants to be "Just Friends". Meaning no chance in hell.

Nah. There's still a very slim chance. All op has to do is change his way of interacting with girls.

[jimmy p]

jeez man, you are unlucky, first you take ages to show your intention then you are too quick to show it. Maybe the next time you'll get it right (like Goldilocks and the 3 bears)!

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by jimmy p
jeez man, you are unlucky, first you take ages to show your intention then you are too quick to show it. Maybe the next time you'll get it right (like Goldilocks and the 3 bears)!


:( this game sucks

[The_Professional]

Love is a 6,000 year old game

[rick1138]

Prudens did nothing wrong - the girl just didn't feel the same way, such is the game of love. The important thing is that he did find out one way or the other how she felt. Keep trying and you will eventually suceed.

[Monique]

And believe me, the girl is up in the clouds now for having gotten such attention [:D] so you didn't get anywhere, but there is nothing to feel bad about either, since you made her day, right?

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
And believe me, the girl is up in the clouds now for having gotten such attention [:D] so you didn't get anywhere, but there is nothing to feel bad about either, since you made her day, right?


I really do hope I made a mistake and that was making things too quick, and I hope next time I see her she would give me another chance... 359 days.. sigh

[Monique]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
... 359 days.. sigh Not really a good foundation to start a relation from, is it? Or were you planning on becoming pen-friends?

[rick1138]

Prudens, you didn't make a mistake, she just isn't interested in you romantically. If someone does like you, how you act is of little consequence - there is little you can do to change someone's mind about you, unless you do something truly horrible. That is all there is to it - go find someone who is. Keep trying and eventually you will suceed. Don't second guess yourself, and don't apologize for your actions.

[Monique]

Good advice :) Don't second guess and don't apologize, don't be bitter either!

The fact she can't go out with you, doesn't mean she can't be friends with you, or that you are not likable :)

[Chrono]

Originally posted by Monique
The fact she can't go out with you, doesn't mean she can't be friends with you, or that you are not likable :)

Be good friends with her if you can't make it anything more than that. This way, she can introduce you to her friends who might be interested in you.

[Monique]

Super idea!

[Monique]

Btw, did anyone see that guy with the white horse yet? Please direct him to me when he stops by.. if I am not here.. ask him to wait or leave a message for me.. I appreciate it [;)]

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Monique
Btw, did anyone see that guy with the white horse yet? Please direct him to me when he stops by.. if I am not here.. ask him to wait or leave a message for me.. I appreciate it [;)]
He's at MY house!!![:D]

[Monique]

Originally posted by Tsunami
He's at MY house!!![:D] YOU.. YOU.. [8)] [*(]

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Monique
YOU.. YOU.. [8)] [*(]
Hey! Don't call me a 'you you'!!![6)]

[Bubonic Plague]

If someone does like you, how you act is of little consequence - there is little you can do to change someone's mind about you,

How you act will determine if someone likes you.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Bubonic Plague
How you act will determine if someone likes you.

I did the best I could... in the short 3 days I spent at convention.

Sigh... She's just soo perfect, I wanna suicide now. Bye.[b(] [t)] [*(]

[Tsu]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
I did the best I could... in the short 3 days I spent at convention.

Sigh... She's just soo perfect, I wanna suicide now. Bye.[b(] [t)] [*(]
Now wait just a goll dang minute. I swear, you men are SO FICKLE!! What the heck ever happened to Babe #1?? Remember her? The one in your first post? And was I imagining it, or was there another one in between? So, which one are you going to 'suicide' over? BS, PO!! Get your pheromones out into the world and see what they attract!!!!! You don't have to do anything to impress anyone. Just be yourself. That'll be enough when the right one comes around. Until then, HAVE (careful) FUN!!

[Bubonic Plague]

I did the best I could... in the short 3 days I spent at convention.
Sigh... She's just soo perfect, I wanna suicide now. Bye.

Relax, i know how rejection feels too. Think of it this way, it's her loss that she didn't get you.

You don't have to do anything to impress anyone. Just be yourself. That'll be enough when the right one comes around.

And what if the right one comes around and he hasn't sharpened his skill? He needs to practise, so quit slating him(and us men).

[Adam]

I really don't see what people are complaining about. Unless you're a complete social retard like me, unable to even conjure basic sentence structure around women and other strange creatures, then you've got no problems. It's not that I find women intimidating or such, just terribly strange and confusing. Women are odd.

As for that girl being "perfect", well... I think that any girl willing to put up with us and take us in should be considered perfect. Of course I considered my ex-girlfriend perfect, until she ripped my heart out, put it in the blender on high for thirty seconds, then mixed it with kibble and fed it to her dogs.

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Adam
I really don't see what people are complaining about. Unless you're a complete social retard like me, unable to even conjure basic sentence structure around women and other strange creatures, then you've got no problems. It's not that I find women intimidating or such, just terribly strange and confusing. Women are odd.

As for that girl being "perfect", well... I think that any girl willing to put up with us and take us in should be considered perfect. Of course I considered my ex-girlfriend perfect, until she ripped my heart out, put it in the blender on high for thirty seconds, then mixed it with kibble and fed it to her dogs.
Charming. No wonder you don't want to be bothered!

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Chrono
Be good friends with her if you can't make it anything more than that. This way, she can introduce you to her friends who might be interested in you.

... How could I ... I don't know why, I just don't feel comfortable ever talk to her after being rejected.

[Adam]

Originally posted by Tsunami
Charming. No wonder you don't want to be bothered!
Hey, it's not my fault she was pure evil!

[rick1138]

Having a lot of women as friends is a good move. You can aquire a reputation as a ladie's man quickly with very little work.

[Monique]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
... How could I ... I don't know why, I just don't feel comfortable ever talk to her after being rejected. She didn't reject you, you were good friends right? I've got guys I don't go out with who are good friends, give it some time and you'll feel different.

Apparently she wasn't the right girl, don't be desperate, girls pick up on that.

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Adam
Hey, it's not my fault she was pure evil!
We ALL are![6)] Just ask Ivan!

[PrudensOptimus]

She mentioned she "doesn't feel the same way."

Now, her family is very strict and her older sister still hasn't got a boyfriend... Could she umm, said "doesn't feel the same way." meaning "it's not time for me, yet" ??

[Monique]

It means: lets just stay friends.

[Adam]

And "let's just stay friends" translates as "not in a million years".

[Monique]

Originally posted by Adam
And "let's just stay friends" translates as "not in a million years". Thanks for cheering him up.

[Adam]

We're supposed to be cheering him up? Oops. Sorry.

I was just pointing out that girls speak an entirely different variety of English, and it needs translation.

[Monique]

[:D] oh well :)

Yeah Prudens, she's pretty clear that she can't be your gf. But you should not feel so bad that she said that, she seems to have a lot of respect for you.

Only feel bad when a girl is disrespectfull and starts badmouthing you.

[Chrono]

Originally posted by Monique
Only feel bad when a girl is disrespectfull and starts badmouthing you.

But when you do respect her and she puts in good words about you to her friends, it's just as I said before, her friends might be single and be interested in you.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
[:D] oh well :)

Yeah Prudens, she's pretty clear that she can't be your gf. But you should not feel so bad that she said that, she seems to have a lot of respect for you.

Only feel bad when a girl is disrespectfull and starts badmouthing you.

I don't know what should I do when I see her in the future... Act like I never knew her? Or act like her friend and be really nice like I do to all my friends? If I do that, she might think I still like her... I don't wanna bother her if she doesn't want.


... I'm still thinking why would she deny me... I'm not bad looking, not rude, ... sigh.

[Bubonic Plague]

I don't know what should I do when I see her in the future... Act like I never knew her? Or act like her friend and be really nice like I do to all my friends? If I do that, she might think I still like her... I don't wanna bother her if she doesn't want.

If you are still interested in her, don't talk to her from now on, unless she initiates and also go out there and get a girlfriend.

[Monique]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
... I'm still thinking why would she deny me... I'm not bad looking, not rude, ... sigh. You are still so young, it is just how life works: some connections go on a deeper level than others. Who says it is your fault? Maybe the girl is only interested in guys who are into ballet, you won't know and you don't have to worry.

[Monique]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
I don't know what should I do when I see her in the future... Act like I never knew her? Or act like her friend and be really nice like I do to all my friends? If I do that, she might think I still like her... I don't wanna bother her if she doesn't want. Just act normal like you did before, smile, say hi, talk about the weather and move on. Casual.

[Unkaspam]

Prudens, I suggest you act more in keeping with the second part of your name, Optimus, as in optimistic.

Either that or get a white horse!

It looks like you didn't take my advice and get down to brass tacks on New Year's Eve with the object of your desire. My suggestions are also applicable to other women. Try it. Or try a white horse pulling the Prius when its battery is low!

Suicide won't work.

[Loren Booda]

Women I know respect the knight who treats them like a modern lady and gently protects them, at potential risk to his own pride, from society's insults.

My current girlfriend might ask, are you more concerned about appearences (physical or in public) rather than sharing emotional intimacy?

[rick1138]

Maybe the girl is only interested in guys who are into ballet,...


If you want to impress her with knowledge of ballet go here:

http://www.preljocaj.org/

and here:

http://www.abt.org/

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
Just act normal like you did before, smile, say hi, talk about the weather and move on. Casual.

I hope after 1 year I'll forget that she rejected me and act normal as possible... [b(]

[Monique]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
I hope after 1 year I'll forget that she rejected me and act normal as possible... [b(] There are worse things that happen. Today it is actually my parents' 27th wedding anniversary
(they haven't even reached 50 yet), it is a blessing since stuff like that don't happen very often if you look around you. Find a girl that likes YOU and hold on to that one, instead of finding the hottie that everyone likes.

[Bubonic Plague]

I hope after 1 year I'll forget that she rejected me and act normal as possible...

You said she has a boyfriend right? If that's the case, then acting normal to her is the worst thing to do. She would have known that you liked her from the start by listening to the way you talk even without you sending that card and yet she mislead you by accepting your invitation instead of rejecting it. She played you for a second fiddle man. So you need to respond in kind.

This stands only if she really has a boyfriend.

[Monique]

They went to the movie with a group of people, together with her little brother. Not exactly a date.

[Bubonic Plague]

They went to the movie with a group of people, together with her little brother. Not exactly a date.

It doesn't matter if it seemed like a date, i'm betting on the idea that she knew his intentions.

But i'm not going to speculate furthur, this won't go anywhere.

[Zantra]

Ok I haven't been keeping up with this saga(as it's become) but I get the gist. Let me give you some good advice, if you really want this girl. here's what you do...

Ignore here. Find a girl that IS interested in you, and wants to date you. Start dating her. She will notice you not noticing her. Plus she will realize what she's been missing when you basically give her the cold shoulder in favor of a girl who you are dating. Women get jealous. A woman who utters the kiss of death "lets just be friends(or at least I think that's what happened) basically doesn'lt see you in that way. If you blow off the friendship and start dating someone else, she'll realize that you're not going to hang around for platonic blue balling, and get with the program. it's that simple. Of course, if you just want to be her friend and watch her date other men in some sort of torturous rigor, by all means continue.

Use my plan. It works. Time tested and proven. There is a slight chance you may loose the friendship, but it sounds like that's the last thing you want anyhow. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

EDIT: ok I read back a little farther.. I'm NOT reading all 34 pages. First of all, offering to pay for her at the movies was NOT trying too hard. I'm not sure how it is in chinese culture, but doing that is practically expected here. So anyways, it sounds like you wont see this girl on daily basis, in which case my advice won't apply. But if you do apply my advice, make sure you also have the right attitude around her. Act like you don't care. In fact, treat her almost badly. Be a little rude and give her the cold shoulder. Whatever you do, don't let her know you care. I know it sounds strange, but we're not in Kansas anymore Toto, we're in the land of women, and none of the rules we know apply. A lot of women LIKE this for some odd reason *shrug* try it out and share the results with us. Trust me, handle it this way, and she'll be begging you to date her. It's not all women, but this type of women who have low self esteem, and try to pretend that no man can hold thier attention, because they are really very low in regards to self esteem. So that's my advice. And even if it doesn't work, there are TONS of other women out there(about 3 billion last I checked) so don't worry, it will work out in the end. Good luck!


PS: GO WINGS! DETROIT CITY ROCKS THE HOUSE!

[Zantra]

Originally posted by rick1138
Having a lot of women as friends is a good move. You can aquire a reputation as a ladie's man quickly with very little work.

I agree. Plus you may end up dating one of your female friend's friends who IS interested in dating you. And having a recommendation from a female goes a LONG way.. especially at that age.

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Adam
We're supposed to be cheering him up? Oops. Sorry.

I was just pointing out that girls speak an entirely different variety of English, and it needs translation.

there is a science available to explain these random patterns of logic. It's called Chaos theory[;)]

[Monique]

Originally posted by Zantra
Ignore here. Find a girl that IS interested in you, and wants to date you. Start dating her. She will notice you not noticing her. Plus she will realize what she's been missing when you basically give her the cold shoulder in favor of a girl who you are dating. Women get jealous. Don't listen to Zantra. That is just playing dirty games.

EDIT: ok I read back a little farther.. I'm NOT reading all 34 pages. First of all, offering to pay for her at the movies was NOT trying too hard. What I've read he WAS trying too hard, giving a card with I love you on a date that isn't a date is trying too hard, giving a card is anyway, unless it is an note hidden in her pocket, which she finds when she comes home and is alone.

..make sure you also have the right attitude around her. Act like you don't care. In fact, treat her almost badly. Be a little rude and give her the cold shoulder. [o)] What kind of women do you date? You sound like the caveman kind, if she still doesn't care you hit her over the head with a wooden stick and drag her into your cave by the hair, right?

PS: GO WINGS! DETROIT CITY ROCKS THE HOUSE! lol

[Monique]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
I hope after 1 year I'll forget that she rejected me and act normal as possible... [b(] There are worst things than not getting a gf instantly.. did you really think you can walk up to any girl of your choosing and be settled? It takes two to tango.

To set your perspective straight:

How would you feel to meet the girl of your dreams and feel love at first sight, you become friends and turns out she feels the same for you. For two years you are the closest friends ever, inseparable. After which you find out you'll have to be seperated not only by distance, but also by heart.

Sounds bad, right?

How about that you are in love with the girl of your dreams, you get married, and you find out she is pregnant with your first baby.. you'd be on cloud 9 right? How about soon after that she starts having this cold that doesn't go away, one day she has trouble breathing and the doctor tells you she has only a few more months to live.. terminal lung cancer.

You'd feel bad, right?

At the same time she is still carrying the baby and you are faced with either loosing the baby so that she can undergo chemotherapy, which most likely will only extent her life for a month or two. Or continue to carry the baby and let it deliver when it is viable and try to save the mother at that point, which will give her a few more weeks to live.

Sounds really bad, right?

So yeah, you may feel depressed for a few days by not getting the girl which you had your eye on, but it is much easier to move on than in other instances, so keep that in mind.

[Monique]

Yes, real tragedies.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Bubonic Plague
You said she has a boyfriend right? If that's the case, then acting normal to her is the worst thing to do. She would have known that you liked her from the start by listening to the way you talk even without you sending that card and yet she mislead you by accepting your invitation instead of rejecting it. She played you for a second fiddle man. So you need to respond in kind.

This stands only if she really has a boyfriend.


Errr, I think I misunderstood somethings. The guy I saw in a picture with her was actually her cousin.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
Don't listen to Zantra. That is just playing dirty games.

What I've read he WAS trying too hard, giving a card with I love you on a date that isn't a date is trying too hard, giving a card is anyway, unless it is an note hidden in her pocket, which she finds when she comes home and is alone.

[o)] What kind of women do you date? You sound like the caveman kind, if she still doesn't care you hit her over the head with a wooden stick and drag her into your cave by the hair, right?

lol


Actually all I wrote in the card was something like this:

"XXXXXX,

Keep in touch, I hope your seasonal cough will go away soon.

email: PrudensOptimum@hotmail.com
AIM: PrudensOptimus

"

But the front cover has a little red heard I think, the card is called "You are Special."

And umm, I think I forgot to leave my name in there :\

[PrudensOptimus]

lol i got a mail from her dad
-----------------------------------
Hi Tom,

It was good to meet you, I am sure we will run
into each other again.

Take Care,
-----------------------------------

I never really met him but umm, I think he sat next to me ... didn't really knew that was her daddy at the moment.

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Monique
[B]Don't listen to Zantra. That is just playing dirty games.



No, it's learning how women work and using it to your advantage. There's no decption involved-At least not bad deception. If she wants him, she'll come running.


What I've read he WAS trying too hard, giving a card with I love you on a date that isn't a date is trying too hard, giving a card is anyway, unless it is an note hidden in her pocket, which she finds when she comes home and is alone.


OK you're right. The "I LOVE YOU" was a bit much. Maybe even XXXXX. It still implies "I love you". A simple "I've enjoyed spending time with you" would have been enough. women don't like to be rushed.


[o)] What kind of women do you date? You sound like the caveman kind, if she still doesn't care you hit her over the head with a wooden stick and drag her into your cave by the hair, right?


Well I'm not dating 15 year old women, which is exactly what we're talking about here, unless I'm mistaken. They operate a little differently then women my age[;)] The goal is to get the girl. I'm just telling him how he can do it. I make no guarantees that he'll be happy with her once he gets her, but then it's free advice [a)]

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Monique
There are worst things than not getting a gf instantly.. did you really think you can walk up to any girl of your choosing and be settled? It takes two to tango.

To set your perspective straight:

How would you feel to meet the girl of your dreams and feel love at first sight, you become friends and turns out she feels the same for you. For two years you are the closest friends ever, inseparable. After which you find out you'll have to be seperated not only by distance, but also by heart.

Sounds bad, right?

How about that you are in love with the girl of your dreams, you get married, and you find out she is pregnant with your first baby.. you'd be on cloud 9 right? How about soon after that she starts having this cold that doesn't go away, one day she has trouble breathing and the doctor tells you she has only a few more months to live.. terminal lung cancer.

You'd feel bad, right?

At the same time she is still carrying the baby and you are faced with either loosing the baby so that she can undergo chemotherapy, which most likely will only extent her life for a month or two. Or continue to carry the baby and let it deliver when it is viable and try to save the mother at that point, which will give her a few more weeks to live.

Sounds really bad, right?

So yeah, you may feel depressed for a few days by not getting the girl which you had your eye on, but it is much easier to move on than in other instances, so keep that in mind.

OMG[o)] Try not to hit me with that scythe, Grim Reaper. And she could walk outside tomorrow and get flattened by a bus, or they could marry and through some freak coincidence she turns out to be his long lots sister, but that doesn't mean it will happen[6)]

Look, if it was meant to be, it will be. We all have a case of unrequited love once or twice in our lifetimes. You will meet other girls who ARE interested in you, and CAN be with you all the time. You're way too young to be lamenting the love of your life. You have about a thousand other girls AT LEAST to meet first.

[Zantra]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
lol i got a mail from her dad
-----------------------------------
Hi Tom,

It was good to meet you, I am sure we will run
into each other again.

Take Care,
-----------------------------------

I never really met him but umm, I think he sat next to me ... didn't really knew that was her daddy at the moment.

Hmmm.. I smell chinese culture here. I thought arranged marriages were dead?

[Monique]

Originally posted by Zantra
I thought arranged marriages were dead? I know 3 people who got married through arranged marriages, still very alive tradition.

As per the grim reaper, I was just commenting on the way he handles a ´just be friends´ with ´want to suicide´. Yes, the person with the pregnant wife who is dying is a collegue of mine, I can´t imagine having to go through that.. it DOES put things in perspective.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Zantra
Hmmm.. I smell chinese culture here. I thought arranged marriages were dead?


? What chinese culture? what arranged marriage???

[Loren Booda]

My first real girlfriend (around age 35!!!) told me that women could "smell" a man who was "needy" (dependent). I suppose it works the other way around, too. You can be independent as well as close to a woman, without encroaching on her space-time.

[Zantra]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
? What chinese culture? what arranged marriage???

I'm sorry, for some reason I thought you were in China. I was thinking of someone else. It's pretty unsual for girl's father to contact a suitor.. heheh

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Zantra
I'm sorry, for some reason I thought you were in China. I was thinking of someone else. It's pretty unsual for girl's father to contact a suitor.. heheh

Umm... I'm not sure if he knows I like his daughter. All I did was ask her out to watch a movie. But umm, sounds creepy, I didn't know that guy was her father... he sat next to me all the time.

[Monique]

lol, so you were courting the girl with her dad sitting next to you? I have got to give this to you: you have guts! [;)] good thing: apparently he thinks you are the ideal son in law! And the dad of the other dad thought so too! [o)] [8)]

[Andy]

Hmmmmm this thread has got amazingly long and i have never bothered to read it so can someone give me a quick run down of whats happened/been said in the past few hundred posts. Did he get the girl?

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Andy
Hmmmmm this thread has got amazingly long and i have never bothered to read it so can someone give me a quick run down of whats happened/been said in the past few hundred posts. Did he get the girl?

Well, I'm on the 3rd girl, met her at a winter conference; although she left me a note saying "I would like to be just FRIENDS; ... I just didn't appreciate you tried so hard.", I still treasure the times I spent with her, watching LOTR III, etc...

Her daddy emailed me saying he is pretty sure he will see me again.

Never knew her father was sitting next to me in conferences all the time... sigh, good thing I didn't, or I would probably freak out.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
lol, so you were courting the girl with her dad sitting next to you? I have got to give this to you: you have guts! [;)] good thing: apparently he thinks you are the ideal son in law! And the dad of the other dad thought so too! [o)] [8)]

the dad of the other dad?

[rick1138]

No. But he is learning. He has come a long way already.


lol, so you were courting the girl with her dad sitting next to you? I have got to give this to you: you have guts! good thing: apparently he thinks you are the ideal son in law!

Or else something weird is going on.



Umm... I'm not sure if he knows I like his daughter. All I did was ask her out to watch a movie. But umm, sounds creepy, I didn't know that guy was her father... he sat next to me all the time.

I was thinking the same thing.

[Monique]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
the dad of the other dad? I meant this dad liked you, and the dad of the other girl :) thats a good thing.

You are really starting to become a playboy, Prudens [;)]

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
I meant this dad liked you, and the dad of the other girl :) thats a good thing.

You are really starting to become a playboy, Prudens [;)]


rofl, all thanks to you and many others for the continuing support and advices!!! keep them comin!!!

[Bubonic Plague]

Errr, I think I misunderstood somethings. The guy I saw in a picture with her was actually her cousin.

Then forget everything i said.

rofl, all thanks to you and many others for the continuing support and advices!!! keep them comin!!!

Who knows man. One day we might see you walking down the street, with a girl fanning you on the left and a girl feeding you with grapes on the right. Then you'll leave a bar with 3 more girls as an entourage, enter a limousine and drive off to who knows where.[!:)] [6)]

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Bubonic Plague
Then forget everything i said.



Who knows man. One day we might see you walking down the street, with a girl fanning you on the left and a girl feeding you with grapes on the right. Then you'll leave a bar with 3 more girls as an entourage, enter a limousine and drive off to who knows where.[!:)] [6)]


ROFL, until then, we must still communicate through this post.

[Bubonic Plague]

ROFL, until then, we must still communicate through this post.

When that happens and you write some killer book on dating, remember all your old pals at PF.[:D]

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Bubonic Plague
When that happens and you write some killer book on dating, remember all your old pals at PF.[:D]


Chapter XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX - Secrets from pF;

When I was around 15 years old, I remember the words of an infamous old man by now named Bubonic Plague.

................................................

[The_Professional]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
lol i got a mail from her dad
-----------------------------------
Hi Tom,

It was good to meet you, I am sure we will run
into each other again.

Take Care,
-----------------------------------

I never really met him but umm, I think he sat next to me ... didn't really knew that was her daddy at the moment.

Her Dad DIGS you!! too bad she doesn't. Just learn from your mistakes, by not coming on heavy and strong from the get-go.
On a date you keep things lighthearted and fun, No negatives (ex:my last gf crushed my heart and stabbed into pieces), No put-downs (ex: This guy sucks..etc)Don't overcompliment her.

As mentioned previously, women do speak a different language and here's some things they say and what they REALLY mean.

"I want a guy who's ambitious" = I want a guy with money

"Looks aren't important" = You better look like a GQ cover boy

"I can't give you my number because I'm in the middle of changing phone companies" = Not if you're the last man on earth!

"I can't quite figure you out" and/or "You're intriguing" = You, being a challenge is raising my interest.

"Where is this going?" = Are we going to get married?

[twizted1]

Ok....so after being gone for the holidays.....wheres the first damn post i read? this one...but to steal a few lines from a friend... remember prudens...."Fat girls have skinny, hot friends" -Brent he used to say that because he had some female friends that were a lil chubby, but being friends with them, they put in lots of good words with some of their "hot" friends and that got him a fair number of dates.

Also, dad #3 said he'll see you later, that can mean SEVERAL different things, 1 he likes you as a person, 2 he likes the idea of you dating his daughter, 3 a niceity because he'll see you at the conferance next year.

When a girl rejects you don't think of yourself as not good enough for her, but her as not good enough for you, its her loss if she doesn't want you. And seein as how I just went thru a fairly bad break-up a few months ago (2 yrs together), its always the other person's loss, but remember the good times together and forget the bad, there are other girls out there! (just took me a few months to realize that again...)

And as for asking a girl out, just make it fun, don't make it out to be anything its not, let her kind of dictate where it goes. I'm takin out a girl next weekend that I never would have thought I would, but I did it just by askin her where shes takin me next weekend and offerin to drive. It broke down into a playful "argument" over who was takin who because she thought whoever was being taken should choose where to go, so I told her to choose. Course I got over my shyness with girls many years ago when I figured out that if you don't make a move your gonna miss....and if you make a move you might get hurt, but if you don't make a move and never get hurt you never learn and never get anywhere....

-Ty

[Tsu]

Originally posted by twizted1
And as for asking a girl out, just make it fun, don't make it out to be anything its not, let her kind of dictate where it goes. I'm takin out a girl next weekend that I never would have thought I would, but I did it just by askin her where shes takin me next weekend and offerin to drive. It broke down into a playful "argument" over who was takin who because she thought whoever was being taken should choose where to go, so I told her to choose.
EXCELLENT ploy. What a sly fox you are! [;)]

Course I got over my shyness with girls many years ago when I figured out that if you don't make a move your gonna miss....and if you make a move you might get hurt, but if you don't make a move and never get hurt you never learn and never get anywhere....
-Ty
Good advice. Another round of thoughts: If you don't make a move, you just sit there. If you just sit there, you atrophy. If you atrophy enough, after awhile you start to rot. When you sit there and rot, you start to SMELL REALLY BAD!!! Not a good situation. You should have gone out on a date. [;)] (Rather a poor end to what could have been a really nice time, ya?)

[Monique]

Originally posted by Tsunami
Another round of thoughts: If you don't make a move, you just sit there. If you just sit there, you atrophy. If you atrophy enough, after awhile you start to rot. When you sit there and rot, you start to SMELL REALLY BAD!!! Yeah, you start smelling like acetone [8)] [6)]

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Monique
Yeah, you start smelling like acetone [8)] [6)]
Really? Acetone? I've never noticed THAT smell! (actually, I have, but not in conjunction with rotting flesh. I've smelled acetone on the breaths of patients with ketosis, low blood sugar, excessive vomiting...The wounds of my patients with rotting flesh smelled extremely putrid.) Is acetone a also a by-product of the rotting process?

[Monique]

I was referring to ketosis [:D] before the rotting kicks in basically [g)]

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Monique
I was referring to ketosis [:D] before the rotting kicks in basically [g)]
Interesting. I guess I was just always 'lucky' enough to get them well AFTER that point. [g)] (I love my job, I love my job, I love my job...if I say i often enough I'll start to believe it...)[6)]

[rick1138]

"Fat girls have skinny, hot friends"


Or better yet, "Skinny girls have fat, hot friends".

[Monique]

Ok, I've given plenty of girl to guy advice,
now it is time for guy to girl advice :)

Ok, I have this rule: don't accept a one-to-one invitation from a guy if you only see him as a friend, only go in a group.


So I was msn chatting with these two guy friends, one asked: did you guys see TLOTRIII yet (he did). I didn't so didn't the another guy. So he asked: let's go see it together. To which I didn't reply. The first guy leaves and the second guy asks, so how about the movie, to which I reply, "sorry, no dates :)", to which he replied: "what is that supposed to mean", I: "nothing, I'm just busy studying this week" (what else can I say), after which he disconnected.

After a while the other guy comes up again and asks: "so were you going to go to the movie with him?", I said no, he says, "you shouldn't look anything behind it, it is just to see the movie".

So: is it just to see the movie or is it a date?


I don't understand these guys, he actually lives around the block and I've been over there and it was fun, after which on msn chat he tries to get me on what seem to be dates with him, but in real life nothing happens.

Only on chat he makes, what seem to be, avances. So what, I should go to the movie with him and stop him when he actually makes an avance or should I keep ignoring his invitations. I actually thought the "sorry, no dates :)" would've been a good point for him to make himself clear, but "what is that supposed to mean" doesn't tell me much. If only more men were gay.. ;)

Gùys.. nothing but trouble!

[Monique]

btw, I know these people for maybe 5 years or so, so with the 'sorry, no dates' I am not blowing off any regular guy :) that's why he should've said 'just to see the movie' or 'why not a date' I mean..

[rick1138]

Do you want this guy as a lover or a friend? It is hard to tell from your posts.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
Ok, I've given plenty of girl to guy advice,
now it is time for guy to girl advice :)

Ok, I have this rule: don't accept a one-to-one invitation from a guy if you only see him as a friend, only go in a group.


So I was msn chatting with these two guy friends, one asked: did you guys see TLOTRIII yet (he did). I didn't so didn't the another guy. So he asked: let's go see it together. To which I didn't reply. The first guy leaves and the second guy asks, so how about the movie, to which I reply, "sorry, no dates :)", to which he replied: "what is that supposed to mean", I: "nothing, I'm just busy studying this week" (what else can I say), after which he disconnected.

After a while the other guy comes up again and asks: "so were you going to go to the movie with him?", I said no, he says, "you shouldn't look anything behind it, it is just to see the movie".

So: is it just to see the movie or is it a date?


I don't understand these guys, he actually lives around the block and I've been over there and it was fun, after which on msn chat he tries to get me on what seem to be dates with him, but in real life nothing happens.

Only on chat he makes, what seem to be, avances. So what, I should go to the movie with him and stop him when he actually makes an avance or should I keep ignoring his invitations. I actually thought the "sorry, no dates :)" would've been a good point for him to make himself clear, but "what is that supposed to mean" doesn't tell me much. If only more men were gay.. ;)

Gùys.. nothing but trouble!

Hey!!!! You did good! Blow him off!!! We agreed on watching LOTR III in America, remember? I'll buy you popcorn and hotdog:D

[Hurkyl]

I know nothing, so don't listen to a word I say. [:)]

Now that I've gotten that disclaimer out of the way...

Ok, I have this rule: don't accept a one-to-one invitation from a guy if you only see him as a friend, only go in a group.

I'm wondering how strict this rule is; surely you go out with just one of your female friends from time to time, right? What's so bad about men that you can't do the same with us? [6)] One can be close friends with the opposite sex without having interest in them. (In fact, the majority of my friends, including best friends, have been female)


The first guy leaves and the second guy asks, so how about the movie, to which I reply, "sorry, no dates :)", to which he replied: "what is that supposed to mean", I: "nothing, I'm just busy studying this week" (what else can I say), after which he disconnected.

...

I actually thought the "sorry, no dates :)" would've been a good point for him to make himself clear, but "what is that supposed to mean" doesn't tell me much.

It sounds to me like he could have been either startled or confused. I know I may have been after "sorry, no dates :)", and would respond with a "huh?"

And to make matters worse, you were the one who actually brought up the idea of you and him dating, and you did not deny interest. He might even start to think that you're trying to drop hints that you are interested in dating him!


Do you want this guy as a lover or a friend? It is hard to tell from your posts.

There is an in-between, you know. [:((]

[Monique]

Originally posted by rick1138
Do you want this guy as a lover or a friend? It is hard to tell from your posts. [o)] as a friend ofcourse, otherwise I would've accepted all his insinuations which seemed to be dates.

[Hurkyl]

Upon reflection, I realize I never answered your question. [:)] If I had to guess, I'd say he just wanted to see the movie. After all, he has had 5 years to ask you out if he wanted; I know I can be hopeless, but I don't quite think even I would dawdle for 5 years if I wanted to ask someone out. [:)]

[Monique]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
I'm wondering how strict this rule is; surely you go out with just one of your female friends from time to time, right? What's so bad about men that you can't do the same with us? [6)] One can be close friends with the opposite sex without having interest in them. (In fact, the majority of my friends, including best friends, have been female) Well, that is what I am wondering about. My experience has been that if a guy asks a girl to come over, there is only one purpose :O No guy asks a girl to come over without having interest for more. Been there, done that..

It sounds to me like he could have been either startled or confused. I know I may have been after "sorry, no dates :)", and would respond with a "huh?" Ok.. so what should I've said? 'No' flat out, or, again make an excuse (like I've been doing since the past year or so), or go on the date which is not a date?

And to make matters worse, you were the one who actually brought up the idea of you and him dating, and you did not deny interest. He might even start to think that you're trying to drop hints that you are interested in dating him![/B] Nooo! I didn't??? He has been giving me vibes, but only thru msn, which is really hard to interpret you know. How can I deny interest on msn?? When did I drop hints???

[Monique]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
[..]but I don't quite think even I would dawdle for 5 years if I wanted to ask someone out. [:)] The thing is, I think he has.

Ok, how if someone calls you honeybuns and babe on msn. I always thought it was his rapper character coming through so just joked about it (since real life he acts normal).

Oh, to make matters worse, 4-5 years ago or something my sister sent him phone-pages that I liked him (which wasn't true, I told him), remember, I spent 3 yrs in the US inbetween too.

I really don't know what to think at the moment, and it is not like you ask someone: 'are you trying to get me to date you?' [6)]

And no, he doesn't have a white horse, I would've know if he had in all that time [;)]

[Monique]

OK, so how do you go with a guy to the movies and let him know you are only going as friends? I mean, I would feel uncomfortable!

Oh, I went with a guy to a movie one time (the One, of all movies) and I made it VERY clear we were only going as friends, very very clear, actually, very clear, (since I had a bf at the time), he ended up buying me chocolates and the whole thing [6)]

[Hurkyl]

My experience has been that if a guy asks a girl to come over, there is only one purpose :O No guy asks a girl to come over without having interest for more. Been there, done that..

I think you're right on that, but only because the guys who don't have an ulterior motive wouldn't dare ask a girl over for fear of it being interpreted the wrong way... but then again we're not talking about whether you should go over to his place or not. [:)]


I guess one thing to establish is if you would see the movie with him if you knew he wasn't interested in dating. I'm presuming you would...



Ok.. so what should I've said? 'No' flat out, or, again make an excuse (like I've been doing since the past year or so), or go on the date which is not a date?

I think reiterating "I don't want to go on a date" or something is probably best. (though don't quote me on that!) If he really is interested in you, it's probably better to let him know that you aren't interested in him rather than leave it ambiguous.

I really don't like the making excuses approach; but I dislike lying in general. [:)] I'd be worried that he might resent you if he caught you in a lie, but maybe he wouldn't. *shrug*

(Of course, all of this is a lot easier to suggest when I'm not the one in there doing it. [;)])


And, as I mentioned, mentioning dating then leaving it ambiguous could put the wrong idea in his head. [:(]


OK, so how do you go with a guy to the movies and let him know you are only going as friends? I mean, I would feel uncomfortable!

Well, after you (hopefully) make it clear you don't want to date, but he still asks you, you could go out of your way to do anti-datish things. [:)] Don't give him a chance to offer to pick you up or pay for your ticket (or alternatively, make sure to give him the chance, and decline if he does), make sure he sits down first and then you sit two seats over.

But I guess when it's all said and done, if you don't want to go, then don't go. Guilt is a bad basis for a friendship. [;)] Wait and be adventurous with another male friend who you are more confident doesn't have an interest in you. [:)]

And if he buys you chocolates, chew him out and go home. *harumph*

[Monique]

Well, I said 'sorry, no dates' since we WERE going to go alone, which qualifies as a date, and I don't want to be ambiguous. Since we are already friends he should've said, no, just to watch the movie. Normally I would've just said, ok, let's go and see it, but he has been leading me on, so it seems.

He asked me out many times (on chat), mostly I just talked over it or replied with 'let's take a bunch of people along' (since it is hard to chauge the intent from words on a screen). Should I have said "no, I am not interested in a date, let's stay friends" when I don't even know what he is getting at?

Hgm, never ask a girl out over a chat OK guys??

Next week there is a party we are going to, so I'll measure his intend there. *to be continued*

[;)] sorry prudens, I am going to take over your thread [6)]

[Monique]

One thing clear: I think he is a great guy!
But he's 'just a friend' to me. :)

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
Well, I said 'sorry, no dates' since we WERE going to go alone, which qualifies as a date, and I don't want to be ambiguous. Since we are already friends he should've said, no, just to watch the movie. Normally I would've just said, ok, let's go and see it, but he has been leading me on, so it seems.

He asked me out many times (on chat), mostly I just talked over it or replied with 'let's take a bunch of people along' (since it is hard to chauge the intent from words on a screen). Should I have said "no, I am not interested in a date, let's stay friends" when I don't even know what he is getting at?

Hgm, never ask a girl out over a chat OK guys??

Next week there is a party we are going to, so I'll measure his intend there. *to be continued*

[;)] sorry prudens, I am going to take over your thread [6)]


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! My thread!![6)]

I charge $0.5 for every post and every respond to your post.

[Hurkyl]

Should I have said "no, I am not interested in a date, let's stay friends" when I don't even know what he is getting at?

Well, saying "No dates :)" was probably not a bad thing to say. The question is whether that caught him by surprise and if he had time to collect his wits before your follow-up... which, as you mentioned, is probably impossible to tell over chat! After his fumbling response, then what you just said might not be so bad... or maybe just something briefer like "I don't wanna go on a date".


Oh, another thing I forgot to mention; the particular choice of movie causes me to be much more likely to believe that he didn't mean to ask you on a date. ROTK is much more of a "friends see this together" movie than whatever the latest chick flick is. [:)]

*sigh* Now I'm having second thoughts about my plan to ask the girl I like out next week. I was gonna ask her to dinner to hear about her vacation, and at dinner I was gonna ask her to see ROTK.

(dinner was an afterthought I concocted when I realized I probably wouldn't get a chance to ask her out in person, though that situation has changed...)

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
One thing clear: I think he is a great guy!
But he's 'just a friend' to me. :)

i see! he's ugly![6)]

what is ROTK? LOTR III? Rofl, ... That's what I brought #3 girl to see; too bad her smartass brother was talking to her all the time :(


@Hurkl, post a pic of yours and hers, and we'll see if you are compatible with her!!!

[Monique]

Doesn't ROTK last for like, 3h or so? Plenty of time for a romance to bloom I imagine.. :P you could fall asleep on her shoulder, arms wandering to touch her hand, her knee and such?

And what does the movie matter? For all it is worth, it might've been a set up! [8)] the other guy DID say that the other would've to pay and take me to a 5 star restaurant (although jokingly).

Taking a girl to a chickflick movie on a date is just cheap..

[Hurkyl]

Yes. ROTK = Return of the King.

Lol, I'm still trying to get a pic of just myself, now you want me to get one of my crush too? [6)] I generally don't like taking pictures anyways, and I somehow doubt she'd enjoy having her picture taken just so I could show her off. [6)]


I'll have to admit I never took a girl to a movie to make a move on her, so I don't know how that's supposed to work. [t)] Me and my ex-girlfriend both liked to watch movies, so we went to movies a lot and, well, watched them, and this girl is the first one I've met since that I really like who didn't have a boyfriend already.

P.S. I actually like some chick flicks. [;)]

[Monique]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
i see! he's ugly![6)] No, that really has a small influence, it is how the person PRESENTS himself that matters. Baggy clothes are a biiiiiiiiiiiiiig nono, I like someone who dresses like he is important :) and is concerned about skin care :P Has to have some ambitions too, and be curious about new stuff :D

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
No, that really has a small influence, it is how the person PRESENTS himself that matters. Baggy clothes are a biiiiiiiiiiiiiig nono, I like someone who dresses like he is important :) and is concerned about skin care :P Has to have some ambitions too, and be curious about new stuff :D


Sounds like me. I present myself good, and dress good, but... Girl #3 still rejected me:(

@Hurkl, LOTRIII with Girl #3 was actually the first time I took a girl to a movie. 3hours... sigh, didn't know what the hell i was doing... nothing.

[Hurkyl]

One more thing; I'm not entirely sure what to read into his online personality... people tend to have a lot fewer inhibitions online, but I don't know if it just means he's having fun with you or if he's hitting on you.

And both of y'all focus too much on looks. [6)] Sure, my crush is cute, but she has the most adorable personality and that's why I like her. To be honest, I barely noticed her until I first started seeing her personality, and now I can't stop thinking about her!

[Monique]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
One more thing; I'm not entirely sure what to read into his online personality... people tend to have a lot fewer inhibitions online, but I don't know if it just means he's having fun with you or if he's hitting on you. Yeah, it could be an innocent flirt or really a serious flirt. I always took it as innocent joking.

OK, taking a girl to the theater. I once had a guy who was copying my every move, I intentionally moved certain ways or sit in a certain way, he would copy it, very annoying. But in a more translucent way it might work :)

Leaning in is where it starts, see if she also leans in, touch the arms, play with her hand.. you'll soon enough find out if she likes the attention. Don't lay it on thick though :P On next dates some knee touching or head-against-shoulder action might take place :)

Really, going to a movie doesn't need to be staring at a screen for three hours like a statue you know..

[Monique]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
And both of y'all focus too much on looks. [6)] Me??

[Hurkyl]

Sure, he has to dress nice, have good skin... no baggy clothes!!! Of course, you're not nearly as bad as Prudens. [:)]


Really, going to a movie doesn't need to be staring at a screen for three hours like a statue you know..

Gak, now I'm getting all nervous again. I was happy just working up the courage to ask her out!

[Monique]

Don't worry, SHE'll probably be all over YOU [8)]

[Hurkyl]

Don't worry, SHE'll probably be all over YOU

!

[Monique]

Gee, now I am wondering how he took the 'no dating' reply.. maybe he now DOES think that a date is possible after I'm done with my exams, gee.

He WAS cheerfull when I chatted later that evening, ordering me to go to sleep since it was past bedtime..

Ohwell..

[Hurkyl]

Sigh, sometimes I hate being right. [:(] Well, all is not lost, since you didn't mean to mislead him, I"m sure he'll understand if he did get that impression.

You gonna say anything to him? When are your exams?

[Adam]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
... no baggy clothes!!!

I like baggy clothes... [*(]

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique

Really, going to a movie doesn't need to be staring at a screen for three hours like a statue you know..


:(
[t)] [*(] [b(]

[Zantra]

Monique, it sounds to me as if he wants to date you but he's either 1. shy or 2. afraid of ruining the friendship, so he's approaching it cautiously. If he wasn't interested in dating you, he would have spoken up when you mentioned it and said "hey, it's not a date, I just wanna hang out, so chill princess" Or at least that's what I'd say[;)].. So your best bet is to just let sleeping dogs lie, if you value the friendship. Pretend it didn't happen. If he tries again, make it quite clear to him (in a nice way of course) that you're only interested in him as a friend.

Since this is turning into the love column, let me share my own story, and maybe someone can impart some wisdom here. I've told people this story before, and they didn't know what to say.

I get along really well with women- I'm THAT guy. I'm the kind of guy who is just more comfortable around women than guyss for some reason. (I'm not looking for a psychoanalysis, so spare me please). Anyhow, I haven't had a lot of Good long term female friends, but there is one. I've known her, or I should say KNEW her, for about 8 or 9 years. we kind of grew up together, though we met as teenagers. Now this girl is the kind of girl who turns heads. size zero, blond hair, blue eyes..you get the picture(I'm sure now the women already hate her). Anyhow, she was younger than me, so dating was just never dicussed. But over the course of years we grew quite close. She became like a sister to me, but not quite. I never had the intention of seeing her in any way other than platonically. I knew her boyfriends, she knew my girlfriends(who were consequently insanely jealous, so I stopped introducing them after a while- didn't matter HOW much I told them she was a friend, they just didn't like her because she was good looking). But I digress. Anyhow, over the course of years I gradually developed feelings for her. She was younger, but she was very intelligent-moreso than any of my friends at the time, and also very intuitive-beyond her years. I'd go to her first for advice- And usually most people come to ME for advice. (I guess that shows that EVERYONE has a mentor.. hehee). Anyhow, I fell in love with her, and one day I just told her. I of course recieved the standard kiss of death "It would ruin the friendship" and "I don't like you like that". Which was painful, but I accepted it gracefully. After that we grew distant. Then things came to a head one day. I was supposed to meet her to hang out, and forgetfully made plans also with my girlfriend at the time. Now, I don't do this normally, but things happen. She came over and waited and I never showed. She was insanely mad. Way out of porportion to what I did. we stopped talking for months. The fact that my girlfriend and her did not like each other didn't help matters. She had commented that SHE never blew ME off for her boyfriend.. etc etc.

This is getting long so I'll summarize. Bottom line, there were numerous instances where she acted very jealous of the women I was dating(AFTER I'd told her I loved her). But at the same time our relationship was never the same after I'd told her. Before I told her, none of this was ever an issue. It all came to a head about a year ago- Just before I moved to a different state. She'd been smoking more and more weed, barely still in school, and she'd had an episode where she'd been in the hospital. A side note-she's got mental health problems related to depression and she's SUPPOSED to be taking epinephrin. I don't know if she'd stopped. Anyhow, I went over there(she wasnt happy). here's the dialogue, as it's shorter and simpler:

Me: Hey we haven't been hanging out or talking much lately. I'm leaving for California soon. I wanted to know you're ok.

Her: you don't need to check up on me.

Me: well I'm just concerned, that's all.

her: We'll I don't need you to worry about me, I'm fine

me: I thought we were friends. I'm just letting you know I care

her: I don't need your friendship, and I don't need you to care- I have enough people who already care about me.

me: you know, I can't figure you out. What is the problem exactly?

Her: I don't want to be around you anymore.

Me: What exactly is your beef with me. I don't get it.

Her: And you never will. Goodnigh

And that was the last conversation we ever had. The magnificent end to an 8 yeare friendship. Admittedly we're both stubborn people, but she was pretty vague about the whole thing. I called her the next day but she just hung up on me. Now, she never gave any indications as to WHY she was upset with me. And her attitude towards me changed abruptly one day-and nothing of note had happend between us. I remember it well. We were hanging out at my house. We'd gotten back from a picnic we had, came back and we were drinking. We were both sitting on the couch in silence(I was completely hammered). Suddenly she stood up and stormed outside. I stood up to find out what her deal was, and she says "I want to go home". Now I was COMPLETELY sloshed, and in no condition to drive. She wasn't much better. But she's like "take me home NOW or I'm walking home". So I did the stupid thing and drove her home. I was so gone that 3/4 of the way there, I had to pull over and regurgitate. Instead of asking me if I was ok, she gets out of the car, says sorry, and just walks off. She walked the rest of the way home. I didn't talk to her for 5 months after that. Every since that day, she's been different.

Any advice? comments? I sent her an xmas card this year, but I didn't leave a return address. I was contemplating calling her, but I feel like it would be a waste of time.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Zantra
Monique, it sounds to me as if he wants to date you but he's either 1. shy or 2. afraid of ruining the friendship, so he's approaching it cautiously. If he wasn't interested in dating you, he would have spoken up when you mentioned it and said "hey, it's not a date, I just wanna hang out, so chill princess" Or at least that's what I'd say[;)].. So your best bet is to just let sleeping dogs lie, if you value the friendship. Pretend it didn't happen. If he tries again, make it quite clear to him (in a nice way of course) that you're only interested in him as a friend.

Since this is turning into the love column, let me share my own story, and maybe someone can impart some wisdom here. I've told people this story before, and they didn't know what to say.

I get along really well with women- I'm THAT guy. I'm the kind of guy who is just more comfortable around women than guyss for some reason. (I'm not looking for a psychoanalysis, so spare me please). Anyhow, I haven't had a lot of Good long term female friends, but there is one. I've known her, or I should say KNEW her, for about 8 or 9 years. we kind of grew up together, though we met as teenagers. Now this girl is the kind of girl who turns heads. size zero, blond hair, blue eyes..you get the picture(I'm sure now the women already hate her). Anyhow, she was younger than me, so dating was just never dicussed. But over the course of years we grew quite close. She became like a sister to me, but not quite. I never had the intention of seeing her in any way other than platonically. I knew her boyfriends, she knew my girlfriends(who were consequently insanely jealous, so I stopped introducing them after a while- didn't matter HOW much I told them she was a friend, they just didn't like her because she was good looking). But I digress. Anyhow, over the course of years I gradually developed feelings for her. She was younger, but she was very intelligent-moreso than any of my friends at the time, and also very intuitive-beyond her years. I'd go to her first for advice- And usually most people come to ME for advice. (I guess that shows that EVERYONE has a mentor.. hehee). Anyhow, I fell in love with her, and one day I just told her. I of course recieved the standard kiss of death "It would ruin the friendship" and "I don't like you like that". Which was painful, but I accepted it gracefully. After that we grew distant. Then things came to a head one day. I was supposed to meet her to hang out, and forgetfully made plans also with my girlfriend at the time. Now, I don't do this normally, but things happen. She came over and waited and I never showed. She was insanely mad. Way out of porportion to what I did. we stopped talking for months. The fact that my girlfriend and her did not like each other didn't help matters. She had commented that SHE never blew ME off for her boyfriend.. etc etc.

This is getting long so I'll summarize. Bottom line, there were numerous instances where she acted very jealous of the women I was dating(AFTER I'd told her I loved her). But at the same time our relationship was never the same after I'd told her. Before I told her, none of this was ever an issue. It all came to a head about a year ago- Just before I moved to a different state. She'd been smoking more and more weed, barely still in school, and she'd had an episode where she'd been in the hospital. A side note-she's got mental health problems related to depression and she's SUPPOSED to be taking epinephrin. I don't know if she'd stopped. Anyhow, I went over there(she wasnt happy). here's the dialogue, as it's shorter and simpler:

Me: Hey we haven't been hanging out or talking much lately. I'm leaving for California soon. I wanted to know you're ok.

Her: you don't need to check up on me.

Me: well I'm just concerned, that's all.

her: We'll I don't need you to worry about me, I'm fine

me: I thought we were friends. I'm just letting you know I care

her: I don't need your friendship, and I don't need you to care- I have enough people who already care about me.

me: you know, I can't figure you out. What is the problem exactly?

Her: I don't want to be around you anymore.

Me: What exactly is your beef with me. I don't get it.

Her: And you never will. Goodnigh

And that was the last conversation we ever had. The magnificent end to an 8 yeare friendship. Admittedly we're both stubborn people, but she was pretty vague about the whole thing. I called her the next day but she just hung up on me. Now, she never gave any indications as to WHY she was upset with me. And her attitude towards me changed abruptly one day-and nothing of note had happend between us. I remember it well. We were hanging out at my house. We'd gotten back from a picnic we had, came back and we were drinking. We were both sitting on the couch in silence(I was completely hammered). Suddenly she stood up and stormed outside. I stood up to find out what her deal was, and she says "I want to go home". Now I was COMPLETELY sloshed, and in no condition to drive. She wasn't much better. But she's like "take me home NOW or I'm walking home". So I did the stupid thing and drove her home. I was so gone that 3/4 of the way there, I had to pull over and regurgitate. Instead of asking me if I was ok, she gets out of the car, says sorry, and just walks off. She walked the rest of the way home. I didn't talk to her for 5 months after that. Every since that day, she's been different.

Any advice? comments? I sent her an xmas card this year, but I didn't leave a return address. I was contemplating calling her, but I feel like it would be a waste of time.

forget that *****. ditch her.; but from a perspective of a christian, I shouldn't say that bad word.

You did too much, i think. If i were you, now I would just try to forget her. -- Yes I know is very hard to forget her:( I'm trying to forget 2 girls,... 1 i think i forget her now which is the first girl i talk about in this thread;... the 2nd girl i'm trying to forget is actually the 3rd girl in this thread... just met her at a conference and brought her to watch LOTR III, great time, but ... the note she left me is bringing me inconfidence and something hard to describe in my heart...

as for the other girl, the polish girl, who is the 2nd girl, ... she's nice and pretty, lol, sent me an xmas card:

"Thanks for the candy, sorry for this cheesy card, print out of desktop publishing class. - Love Renee"

Don't know why she put "love"... probably a friendship love.

Bottom line: just forget her, or more pain will come. took me like 2 months to forget the 1st girl.

[Zantra]

thanks for the advice, but after a year, it's still on my mind. I may never have a resolution to this, but I'd love to at least understand it.

[Adam]

her: We'll I don't need you to worry about me, I'm fine

me: I thought we were friends. I'm just letting you know I care

her: I don't need your friendship, and I don't need you to care- I have enough people who already care about me.

Just a guess, but given what you said about her, I suggest that she might have had some sort of problem, felt like crap, and was pushing you away to see if you really cared and would really leap in and help. Apparently you didn't.

[Hurkyl]

Back away slowly?

My opinion is torn between two things:

(a) She doesn't seem to be stable; it's a sad situation, but it might not be healthy for you to try and stay friends.

(b) She doesn't seem to be stable; it's a sad situation, and it might not be healthy for her for you to give up on her.


Of course, I'm presuming that your tale paints roughly the complete picture, as you know it.

Did you know any of her relatives well enough to consult with them?

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Adam
Just a guess, but given what you said about her, I suggest that she might have had some sort of problem, felt like crap, and was pushing you away to see if you really cared and would really leap in and help. Apparently you didn't.

She's had depression as long as I've known her, and we've NEVER talked about it. When he went into the hospital(ok it's a mental health clinic) I found out about it from her dad. I brought it up and asked her if she wanted to talk about it, and she said no. Since she usually tells me everything, I didn't want to push her.

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
Back away slowly?

My opinion is torn between two things:

(a) She doesn't seem to be stable; it's a sad situation, but it might not be healthy for you to try and stay friends.

(b) She doesn't seem to be stable; it's a sad situation, and it might not be healthy for her for you to give up on her.


Of course, I'm presuming that your tale paints roughly the complete picture, as you know it.

Did you know any of her relatives well enough to consult with them?

Ya that's pretty much it. Other than standing her up, I've never really wronged her. She's just moody.. women![6)]

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Zantra
She's had depression as long as I've known her, and we've NEVER talked about it. When he went into the hospital(ok it's a mental health clinic) I found out about it from her dad. I brought it up and asked her if she wanted to talk about it, and she said no. Since she usually tells me everything, I didn't want to push her.

Probably got raped or some ****.[t)]

[Adam]

Originally posted by Zantra
Since she usually tells me everything, I didn't want to push her.

So push anyway. Given your current relationship, or lack of such, what have you got to lose?

[Zantra]

You make an excellent point

[Zantra]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
Probably got raped or some ****.[t)]

no. The reason she went away, is because she had an "episode". I heard all the details on it. She does have problems. Though I don't know for a fact(because we've never talked about it) I'm guessing htat she's probably Bipolar

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Zantra
no. The reason she went away, is because she had an "episode". I heard all the details on it. She does have problems. Though I don't know for a fact(because we've never talked about it) I'm guessing htat she's probably Bipolar
Well, I hadn't even got to the end of your story when I started thinking "Geez. This chick sounds bipolar!" I think Hurkyl has the right option choices pretty well covered. Is there a family member of hers you could call to see how she's doing? Why don't you PM Zooby and get him over here for his take on the situation.

[Hurkyl]

Well, the hairs on the back of my neck are suggesting this could be a serious situation. I would feel 100% better if you had the advice of a trained professional instead of unqualified advice-givers such as ourselves. [:)]

Anyways, I place best odds on trying to talk to her again (without being very pushy), then to her father.

And be supportive, but wary if she does a 360; I'm concerned about your emotional well-being too.

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Tsunami
Well, I hadn't even got to the end of your story when I started thinking "Geez. This chick sounds bipolar!" I think Hurkyl has the right option choices pretty well covered. Is there a family member of hers you could call to see how she's doing? Why don't you PM Zooby and get him over here for his take on the situation.

Is the Zoobster a shrink? and since you're in medicine, you know epinephrin is an MAO for boosting seretonin. I'm pretty confident that's what the problem is. When she was 11 she took a bunch of pills in a failed suicide attempt. The more I talk it out, I'm realizing that I was probably never the problem. But it's frustrating all the same. If she is Bipolar, there isn't much I can do for her.

[Evo]

Originally posted by Zantra

Since this is turning into the love column, let me share my own story, and maybe someone can impart some wisdom here. I've told people this story before, and they didn't know what to say.
No one can pretend to know another person's mind, but I'm going to give this a shot. Just my take on it and it may be just a bunch of cr*p.

Anyhow, I fell in love with her, and one day I just told her. I of course recieved the standard kiss of death "It would ruin the friendship" and "I don't like you like that". Which was painful, but I accepted it gracefully. After that we grew distant. Then things came to a head one day. I was supposed to meet her to hang out, and forgetfully made plans also with my girlfriend at the time. Now, I don't do this normally, but things happen. She came over and waited and I never showed. She was insanely mad. Way out of porportion to what I did. we stopped talking for months. The fact that my girlfriend and her did not like each other didn't help matters. She had commented that SHE never blew ME off for her boyfriend.. etc etc.[/B]
Even though she was not interested in you as a "boyfriend", in her mind, you were "hers", a "constant", someone she could rely on and was always "there for her". When you "forgot", she suddenly realized this wasn't always going to be true and it altered her perception of her importance to you, and this was hard for her to deal with.

This is getting long so I'll summarize. Bottom line, there were numerous instances where she acted very jealous of the women I was dating(AFTER I'd told her I loved her). But at the same time our relationship was never the same after I'd told her.[/B]
Same reason as above.

A side note-she's got mental health problems related to depression[/B]
Making even more sense now.

Anyhow, I went over there(she wasnt happy). here's the dialogue, as it's shorter and simpler:

Me: Hey we haven't been hanging out or talking much lately. I'm leaving for California soon. I wanted to know you're ok.

Her: you don't need to check up on me.

Me: well I'm just concerned, that's all.

her: We'll I don't need you to worry about me, I'm fine

me: I thought we were friends. I'm just letting you know I care

her: I don't need your friendship, and I don't need you to care- I have enough people who already care about me.

me: you know, I can't figure you out. What is the problem exactly?

Her: I don't want to be around you anymore.

Me: What exactly is your beef with me. I don't get it.

Her: And you never will. Goodnigh[/B]
She's feeling like she's lost you and she can't deal with it. You meant a lot to her. I think she looked up to you more than you realize and she needed the feeling of worth and love that she got from you, but she can't tell you that without lowering the protective "walls" that she's built up around herself.

And that was the last conversation we ever had. The magnificent end to an 8 yeare friendship. Admittedly we're both stubborn people, but she was pretty vague about the whole thing. I called her the next day but she just hung up on me. Now, she never gave any indications as to WHY she was upset with me. And her attitude towards me changed abruptly one day-and nothing of note had happend between us. I remember it well. We were hanging out at my house. We'd gotten back from a picnic we had, came back and we were drinking. We were both sitting on the couch in silence(I was completely hammered). Suddenly she stood up and stormed outside. I stood up to find out what her deal was, and she says "I want to go home". Now I was COMPLETELY sloshed, and in no condition to drive. She wasn't much better. But she's like "take me home NOW or I'm walking home". So I did the stupid thing and drove her home. I was so gone that 3/4 of the way there, I had to pull over and regurgitate. Instead of asking me if I was ok, she gets out of the car, says sorry, and just walks off. She walked the rest of the way home. I didn't talk to her for 5 months after that. Every since that day, she's been different.[/B]
She has problems Zantra, she may never be able to deal with her feelings. I think, inside her mind, she was playing out scenarios of what your responsibilities to her were, especially since you had once proclaimed your love to her, and you weren't meeting them (no one could). I'm sorry, but I can't give you hope that there could ever be a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship here. I'm not sure that's even what you are wanting at this point.

Geeze, I sound like a freeking know it all.

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Zantra
Is the Zoobster a shrink? and since you're in medecine, you know epinephrin is an MAO for boosting seretonin. I'm pretty confident that's what the problem is. When she was 11 she took a bunch of pills in a failed suicide attempt. The more I talk it out, I'm realizing that I was probably never the problem. But it's frustrating all the same. If she is Bipolar, there isn't much I can do for her.
I don't know if he's a shrink or not, but he always seemed extremely knowledgable about this kind of stuff. Suicide attempt at age 11??!!
Jeepers, Zantra! One of the few things (and the most common) that I know of that would precipitate something like this is sexual abuse. I pray I'm wrong, but it might explain a few things. You said she had bf's? How close did she get with them? Do you know?

Crud. I have to head out for work. I'll catch you later.

[Evo]

Hurkyl & Tsunami, good advice.

[Adam]

A good friend is worth about a billion times more than a psychologist. But friends can only prescribe a few types of drugs.

[Zantra]

As far as I know, she never had any sexual abuse. Or at least if she did, she didn't show any of the symptoms. She didn't have any intimacy problems, and she wasn't overly promiscuous. All in all she seemed to have a normal sex life. It's sad that I know that for a fact. LOL.

She got along with her dad pretty well. If anything her mom and her didn't get along, but that's pretty normal.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Zantra
As far as I know, she never had any sexual abuse. Or at least if she did, she didn't show any of the symptoms. She didn't have any intimacy problems, and she wasn't overly promiscuous. All in all she seemed to have a normal sex life. It's sad that I know that for a fact. LOL.

She got along with her dad pretty well. If anything her mom and her didn't get along, but that's pretty normal.

Damn, normal sex life? And you still wanted to be her bf after you know that? I hope you don't get AIDs man. [t)]

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
Back away slowly?

My opinion is torn between two things:

(a) She doesn't seem to be stable; it's a sad situation, but it might not be healthy for you to try and stay friends.

(b) She doesn't seem to be stable; it's a sad situation, and it might not be healthy for her for you to give up on her.


Of course, I'm presuming that your tale paints roughly the complete picture, as you know it.

Did you know any of her relatives well enough to consult with them?

That's exactly how it feels. Rock and a hard place. I'm on good terms with her dad, but my fear is that if I go to him and explain the situation, he'll just turn around and chide her to make up with me, which won't help the situation.

[Zantra]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
Damn, normal sex life? And you still wanted to be her bf after you know that? I hope you don't get AIDs man. [t)]

Sex is the last thing on my mind with her. All I'm going to say is that she knows as much about me as I know about her. We'll leave it at that[6)]

Right now my main concern is salvaging the friendship, and her well being.I'm otherwise attached, so no, sex is not the motivation. When I use the term love, it's not meant in that way.

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Adam
A good friend is worth about a billion times more than a psychologist. But friends can only prescribe a few types of drugs.

Good friends are worth fighting for. I think I'm going to call her tomorrow. If I get her dad on the phone, I'll talk to him first. Updates to come- though it looks grim at this point.

EDIT: little more info. There was this time when we were both in between relationships. She came over and spent the night (on the couch people, on the couch). We both got sloshed(seeing a trend here?[:D] ) Anways, we were talking, and had a conversation. I made a rare joke about us having sex. And she said that if we did, she'd never be able to speak to me again. Then later on, I said something to effect of I'd like to, but that I didn't want to be another number in the line. I said I didn't want to be like all the other guys. She responded "well then don't be". Now that's so damn ambiguous, I'm STILL trying to figure out how she meant it. DAMN THAT WOMAN! I supposed in retrospect that may have been my cue to initiate something. Or she may have never spoken to me again if I'd made a move. damn damn damn!

To put it all in perspective, for those of you who read about CHROOT'S saga with that one woman, she kind of reminds me of how MY friend probably was with her boyfriends. She's that type of girl.

EDIT: I suppose it can't hurt to tell you her name, as she's not exactly into surfing physics boards. Her name's carlie, so now you can put a name with it.

[hypnagogue]

Originally posted by Zantra
Then things came to a head one day. I was supposed to meet her to hang out, and forgetfully made plans also with my girlfriend at the time. Now, I don't do this normally, but things happen. She came over and waited and I never showed. She was insanely mad. Way out of porportion to what I did. we stopped talking for months. The fact that my girlfriend and her did not like each other didn't help matters. She had commented that SHE never blew ME off for her boyfriend.. etc etc.

My guess is that even though she gave you the 'just friends' reaction, she actually did feel closer to you after you told her you loved her; so accidentally standing her up like that hurt her more than it would have beforehand. Worse yet, maybe she thought you did it on purpose to get back at her for not accepting your advances. I agree with Evo's suggestion that she became distant after that so that she wouldn't be vulnerable to being hurt again through her closeness to you.

[zoobyshoe]

I pretty much agree with Hypnagogue. You basically lost her when you withdrew and gave up on your interest because of her verbalized objections. The transition from friends to more can be easy or difficult for some women. This one needed to get used to the idea and have time to test the strength of your interest. You're a nice guy. Nice guys don't cross boundaries. On the other hand, nice guys can bring things up again later, if they do it nicely. That's the kind of thing that might have worked.

Instead you gave up and saw other women. In the meantime, your announcement seems to have been working on her, getting her imagining and thinking, and becoming open minded about a transition to romance. By the time that happened, you weren't there anymore. She became bitter.

The psychiatric aspects are less important than you would think. It's all normal male/female dynamics. In affective disorders the emotions, whatever they happen to be, are not so much inappropriate, as inapropriately amplified.

Think of it this way: her emotions are so loud she can't calm down to the degree where she could sort them out. This is why she can't get herself to a place where she could work this out with you: try describing a song to someone in detail at the very same time you're listening to that song turned up loud on headphones.

You're only interested in salvaging the friendship so the thing to do is reiterate your interest now and then and hope it gets to her at a calmer time down the road when she is able to sort her feelings out and talk about them.

Sorry I don't have any shortcuts to that, to suggest.

-zoob

P.S. I am not a shrink. Just opinionated.

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
I would feel 100% better if you had the advice of a trained professional instead of unqualified advice-givers such as ourselves. [:)]

Me three. [;)]

[Adam]

A trained professional can't tell you what is right and wrong. If the girl means something to you, then deal with it.

[Hurkyl]

A trained professional can help you avoid emotionally scarring the girl in the process. I'm less concerned about it now than I originally was, but I'm not withdrawing the suggestion.


Anyways, Zantra, I have a piece of advice I do feel confident about... stop getting sloshed. [;)]

[Monique]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
Sigh, sometimes I hate being right. [:(] Well, all is not lost, since you didn't mean to mislead him, I"m sure he'll understand if he did get that impression.

You gonna say anything to him? When are your exams? I am not going to say anything, I've known him for quite a while (were college friends) now he just lives around the block, so I go over and say hi once in a long while, he's actually not a friend but more of an acquintance.

Zantra, I think the others were head on in their replies. About the couch incidence after the picnick, could it have been that she expected you to make a move on her. You didn't seem interested in her, so she got irritated and demanded to be brought home?

[Bubonic Plague]

I don't have much time on the com today, so i've only read until this post, so my opinion may be outdated.

Me: Hey we haven't been hanging out or talking much lately. I'm leaving for California soon. I wanted to know you're ok.

Her: you don't need to check up on me.

Me: well I'm just concerned, that's all.

her: We'll I don't need you to worry about me, I'm fine

me: I thought we were friends. I'm just letting you know I care

her: I don't need your friendship, and I don't need you to care- I have enough people who already care about me.

me: you know, I can't figure you out. What is the problem exactly?

Her: I don't want to be around you anymore.

Me: What exactly is your beef with me. I don't get it.

Her: And you never will. Goodnigh

Anways, we were talking, and had a conversation. I made a rare joke about us having sex. And she said that if we did, she'd never be able to speak to me again. Then later on, I said something to effect of I'd like to, but that I didn't want to be another number in the line. I said I didn't want to be like all the other guys. She responded "well then don't be".

Here's my take on the situation:

When you told her your feelings, she gave you the usual put-down at the spur of the moment. But turns out, after some thinking, she realizes you're the one she really wants, not the other guys who just want to get in her pants. But she's too stubborn and doesn't want to tell you that. So she drops lots of hints to tell you that she likes you, but you never picked up on them. So she gets extremely frustrated and thinks, "****, if even the guy i like doesn't understand me, then who else will?! (insert other negative thoughts)" So in the end she also shifts you to the "other people" category and gets pissed off with the world.

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
A trained professional can help you avoid emotionally scarring the girl in the process. I'm less concerned about it now than I originally was, but I'm not withdrawing the suggestion.


Anyways, Zantra, I have a piece of advice I do feel confident about... stop getting sloshed. [;)]
YEAH! What Hurkyl said! That s**t'll kill ya, man.

[Tsu]

Yo! Monique! You Mentor You!!

I'm thinking this thread ought to end! We ARE on page 42 (a very good number, IMO [:D])... We need to split this up into three different threads. "Psuedo's Love Life", "Monique's Love Life", and Zantra's Love Life". I'm starting to have a hard time keeping track!! [8)]
On the other hand, we (the women here, anyway) could always resort to my sister's solution:
IF WE CAN PUT A MAN ON THE MOON, WHY NOT ALL OF THEM!!![6)] [:D]

[Adam]

42. A rather special number.

[Monique]

Originally posted by Tsunami
Yo! Monique! You Mentor You!! End this thread [8)] but we're just getting started! Now, how are you and Ivan doing, any interesting things we should know about? [6)] don't get you started, right?

And Zero is the big boss in this microverse [t)]

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Monique
End this thread [8)] but we're just getting started!
Yes, but I'm an old lady and I'm getting TOO CONFUSED!!!!!
Now, how are you and Ivan doing, any interesting things we should know about?
Just your basic love story of a NORMAL person trying to keep from going insane while living with and loving her nerd as best she can!
[6)] don't get you started, right?
RIGHT![:D]
And Zero is the big boss in this microverse [t)] [;)] [:D]
OMG!!!!!! THE BIG ZERO????!!!! [:D] [:D][:D][:D] (God love the man. [:D] I wonder if I could talk him into splitting this thread up...NAAHHHHHHH. [:D])

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Adam
42. A rather special number.
[:D]

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
A trained professional can help you avoid emotionally scarring the girl in the process. I'm less concerned about it now than I originally was, but I'm not withdrawing the suggestion.


Anyways, Zantra, I have a piece of advice I do feel confident about... stop getting sloshed. [;)]

I can see that scenario now. Go to a shrink and start off with "I have this friend...."... RIIIIIIIIGHHHT. Next thing you know, I'm being admitted for BP disorder. I suppose an intervention, but there's a distance factor involved which makes this extremely difficult.


Oh, and I don't get sloshed as muc these days.. she was just a bad influence[;)]

[Zantra]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
I pretty much agree with Hypnagogue. You basically lost her when you withdrew and gave up on your interest because of her verbalized objections. The transition from friends to more can be easy or difficult for some women. This one needed to get used to the idea and have time to test the strength of your interest. You're a nice guy. Nice guys don't cross boundaries. On the other hand, nice guys can bring things up again later, if they do it nicely. That's the kind of thing that might have worked.

Instead you gave up and saw other women. In the meantime, your announcement seems to have been working on her, getting her imagining and thinking, and becoming open minded about a transition to romance. By the time that happened, you weren't there anymore. She became bitter.

The psychiatric aspects are less important than you would think. It's all normal male/female dynamics. In affective disorders the emotions, whatever they happen to be, are not so much inappropriate, as inapropriately amplified.

Think of it this way: her emotions are so loud she can't calm down to the degree where she could sort them out. This is why she can't get herself to a place where she could work this out with you: try describing a song to someone in detail at the very same time you're listening to that song turned up loud on headphones.

You're only interested in salvaging the friendship so the thing to do is reiterate your interest now and then and hope it gets to her at a calmer time down the road when she is able to sort her feelings out and talk about them.

Sorry I don't have any shortcuts to that, to suggest.

-zoob

P.S. I am not a shrink. Just opinionated.

Thanks for the advice Zooby Doo. It's very helpful.

Ok So far here's the pattern I'm seeing. Most of you agree that:

1. She's in a chrisis and needs help
2. She did actually have feelings for me, but being a woman couldn't just come right out and SAY she did. NOOOOO.. that would be WAAAAY too simple[6)].
3. I didn't haandle it the right away, and I turned her bitter-perhaps even to women, becuase she percieved me as rejecting her simply because I missed a date. Forget about 8 years of friendship, forget the fact that I always put her first ahead of other women. Forget that I was closer to her than anyone else. I was late one day, and it changed everything else[o)]
4. My head is up my butt
5. I need to get sloshed less
6. I'm ready to move to the moon as the women there will probably make more sense.

That about sum it up? Obviously I have to do something- or at least attempt to. If I don't, I'm scum. I will call her today. God help me.

[Adam]

Originally posted by Zantra
I'm ready to move to the moon as the women their will probably make more sense.
Yep, that's about right.

[Zantra]

Called and she wasn't home. Bummer. I tried

[Monique]

I noticed Andy's signature:
"All the love in the world couldn't save you, All the innocence inside, You know I tried so hard to make you, To make you change your mind." I thought the following applies to it:

"The first time I met you, I was afraid to kiss you. The first time I kissed you, I was afraid to love you. And when I loved you, I was afraid to lose you. But now that I have lost you, I don't know what to do."

"No person is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you cry."

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Tsunami
Yo! Monique! You Mentor You!!

I'm thinking this thread ought to end! We ARE on page 42 (a very good number, IMO [:D])... We need to split this up into three different threads. "Psuedo's Love Life", "Monique's Love Life", and Zantra's Love Life". I'm starting to have a hard time keeping track!! [8)]
On the other hand, we (the women here, anyway) could always resort to my sister's solution:
IF WE CAN PUT A MAN ON THE MOON, WHY NOT ALL OF THEM!!![6)] [:D]

Who's Pseudo1!!!!!?

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
I noticed Andy's signature:
I thought the following applies to it:

"The first time I met you, I was afraid to kiss you. The first time I kissed you, I was afraid to love you. And when I loved you, I was afraid to lose you. But now that I have lost you, I don't know what to do."

"No person is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you cry."


Nice[!:)]

[rick1138]

Here's my take on the situation:

When you told her your feelings, she gave you the usual put-down at the spur of the moment. But turns out, after some thinking, she realizes you're the one she really wants, not the other guys who just want to get in her pants. But she's too stubborn and doesn't want to tell you that. So she drops lots of hints to tell you that she likes you, but you never picked up on them. So she gets extremely frustrated and thinks, "****, if even the guy i like doesn't understand me, then who else will?! (insert other negative thoughts)" So in the end she also shifts you to the "other people" category and gets pissed off with the world.



Exactly.

[Tsu]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
Who's Pseudo1!!!!!?
That would be you, dear. So very sorry. I was in the middle of a small brain obstruction at the time, and the synapse connections were just not making it. Up all night, very tired... (Of all the things I've lost in life, I miss my mind the most.) [g)]

PrudensOptimus, (not Pseodo...) I most humbly appologize for messing up your name. (Wierd. I knew as I was typing, that something about it was wrong...too tired to try to figure it out.)

[Evo]

Originally posted by Monique
I noticed Andy's signature:
I thought the following applies to it:

"The first time I met you, I was afraid to kiss you. The first time I kissed you, I was afraid to love you. And when I loved you, I was afraid to lose you. But now that I have lost you, I don't know what to do."

"No person is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you cry."
Ah geeze, now you've made me cry. [*(] (wallowing in self pity tonight) [:(] [*(]

[Monique]

Evo, Never frown, not even when you're sad, because you'll never know who is falling in love with your smile :)

Let your heart guide you. It whispers so listen closely..

[Hurkyl]

*sigh* tomorrow's the day I ask Kathy out; I'm totally nervous, and I just realized I haven't decided on a good place for dinner. [:(]

[Evo]

Monique, you are so wonderful, so sweet.

I'll get past it, it's just that the guy I pushed away is in a line of business that means I see him or what he's involved in everywhere I turn. From the newstand at the grocery store to the tv in my bedroom, even here in the forum. I only pushed him away because I didn't feel I was good enough for him. It stinks.

[Zantra]

I'm sitting here with the phone in my hand toying with weather to call her. 1 of 2 things will happen. Either she'll hang up on me, or she'll talk to me and hopefully I'll be able to fix things. I'm not sure which option I'm more afraid of. Hanging up would definitely be easier. You know, this is supposed be easier the older you get. It isn't.

[Chrono]

Originally posted by Zantra
I'm sitting here with the phone in my hand toying with weather to call her. 1 of 2 things will happen. Either she'll hang up on me, or she'll talk to me and hopefully I'll be able to fix things. I'm not sure which option I'm more afraid of. Hanging up would definitely be easier. You know, this is supposed be easier the older you get. It isn't.

That's assuming you get the courage to dial all the numbers and stay on the line long enough for her to answer. I still have a problem doing that. I asked this girl's number in early September and have yet to call her.

[Hurkyl]

Doing it can't be worse than worrying about it. You might want to wait for a time when you have a few hours to talk, should the opportunity arise.


P.S. sorry for my interlude; I know my worries pale in comparison to everyone elses, but they still feel bigger. [:(]

[Evo]

It never gets easier Zantra, believe me.

Have you decided on what you want to say, or how to even start the conversation? Since you know her, maybe you can think of a safe topic you can engage her in, just to get her to loosen up?

[The_Professional]

Relax, It's going to be fine. I usually imagine the woman as weighing 300 pounds. It helps..

[Evo]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
P.S. sorry for my interlude; I know my worries pale in comparison to everyone elses, but they still feel bigger. [:(]
First date? Do you know what her favorite food is? Does she prefer elegance or simplicity?

[Hurkyl]

Yes, first date. I think she'd prefer simplicity... I don't know what she likes to eat though.

However, I recall that I have been looking for an excuse for quite a while to get a chicken parmasagno from Macaroni Grill again. Maybe that would be good!

[Evo]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
Yes, first date. I think she'd prefer simplicity... I don't know what she likes to eat though.
Somewhere nice, not too noisy or busy. That will allow you to linger at the table if things go well. Candlelight is always good. (Women feel prettier in candelight and that is a "good thing")

I don't know how old you are, or how experienced, but a few things that you can't do wrong:

Pay attention to her, everything she says. Don't get distracted and start looking around the room. Don't comment on how hot the girl at the other table is. Don't flirt with the waitress. [6)]

Compliment her.

If it starts to get "romantic" offering her a bite of your desert can lead to other things... [:))]

[Hurkyl]

The problem is I don't know anywhere like that. It's notoriously difficult to find stuff around here. [:(]


Don't comment on how hot the girl at the other table is. Don't flirt with the waitress.

Lol, I'm not that hopeless! [6)]

[Adam]

Originally posted by Monique

Let your heart guide you. It whispers so listen closely..

Nooooo, they shout very loud, but often contradictory or unintelligible messages.

[Adam]

Dinner? For a date? Girls eat? I'd better write that down...

[Evo]

The Macaroni Grill is ok. Try to get a quite booth.

Hurkyl - "Lol, I'm not that hopeless!"

I was just teasing. :) My ex-husband actually did that kind of thing. He told me once "who was he to deny any woman that wanted him?" I kicked his a** out the door.

[Hurkyl]

The Macaroni Grill is ok. Try to get a quite booth.

*phew* I was starting to get in a panic. [:)] I can't put it off and ask another day when I'm better prepared because I actually have a valid excuse to drop by her office tomorrow so I can ask her in person!

[Zantra]

I called her, we talked. I don't know exactly what to say here. The call left me with more questions than answers. Opinions were voiced some things that had built up were brought out into the open. Other questions were not answered, and may never be. In her words "some quetions never get answered, and some things are better left unspoken"
She backed up to the typical woman haven of "They're feelings, not words I can express". IOW, she isn't going to to tell me certain things. Is she ill? If she is, she's not admitting to it. However I know some things that still hint at something. It would be guessses, and I refuse to do that. Suffice it to say that she claims she's perfectly fine, and I think she's lying through her teeth, but I couldn't prove otherwise. The long and short of it is that although I wouldn't laud any breathroughs, by the end of the call we were laughing together. She admitted she has some issues to work out of her own, but refused to talk about them. She did acknowledge that I am a good friend and that I am important to her. I think(but don't know) that some of you were dead on about her needing my attention.


Feel empty? like I've been talking for a paragraph, but still haven't given you anything of substance? Like I've answered questions you didn't ask, and avoided the ones you have asked? Welcome to crazyworld. My world. Carlie world.


I wish I could say I feel like this is resolved. I wish I could say we were honest with each other and everything was resolved for better or worse. I wish I could tell you that. I wish. Insstead we came to a tenative peace accord.

Anyhow, thanks for your words of advice. This relationship would give Dr. Phil an ulcer.

[Bubonic Plague]

The long and short of it is that although I wouldn't laud any breathroughs, by the end of the call we were laughing together.

That's a start.[;)]

I think you should keep this peace accord and not push. Just be a friend again and forget the past. Things won't be the same, but at least you tried.

[Monique]

Originally posted by Adam
Nooooo, they shout very loud, but often contradictory or unintelligible messages. I which case you are not listening to you heart, but to your hormones and your mind [;)]

Really, it whispers so listen closely [:D]

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Evo
It never gets easier Zantra, believe me.

Have you decided on what you want to say, or how to even start the conversation? Since you know her, maybe you can think of a safe topic you can engage her in, just to get her to loosen up?

I had to respond to this, because I had this approach all planned out, and instead like a nervous teenager(no offense to the young people) I just blurted out what was on my mind anyways. She's direct and has a way of illiciting the same response from me. *shrug*.

As I'm already as good as married, I will no longer have the time effort or energy to put into her that I know she wants from me. So I guess that's pretty much the end of it. She knows I care about her, I know she cares about me. YOu can't force someone to come clean. Nagging her about it will just make things worse. Time to let it go.

[Adam]

Originally posted by Monique
I which case you are not listening to you heart, but to your hormones and your mind [;)]

Really, it whispers so listen closely [:D]

Nup. Sounds like a rock concert in there.

[rick1138]

Zantra, she is in love with, but not ready to admit it, and she may never. I once dated a girl off and on who wanted to be "just friends". She kept encouraging me to find someone else, then when I did, she would fly into fits of extreme jealousy, then we would fight, then get back together, then break up...

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Adam
Nup. Sounds like a rock concert in there.
LOL!!! [:D]

[Evo]

Originally posted by Zantra
I had to respond to this, because I had this approach all planned out, and instead like a nervous teenager(no offense to the young people) I just blurted out what was on my mind anyways.

Been there. :)

You sound like a wonderful person Zantra, and you would be a great catch for any woman!

[Hurkyl]

*sigh* I got beat down by the irony police today. [:(] I asked Kathy to dinner (but I didn't really give any indication that I wanted a date), but no time this week was good, but next week is great and that gives us time to invite others along!

I should have thought a wee bit ahead after talking to Monique about her guy problem. [:(]

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Evo
Been there. :)

You sound like a wonderful person Zantra, and you would be a great catch for any woman!

Thanks. I think that 5 years from now she'll be shooting herself for blowing me off. Which is too sad, because by then it will be too late. We all make choices, and we have to accept the consequences of those choices.

[Evo]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
but next week is great and that gives us time to invite others along!

Oh, that's sounds just great......

What is wrong with these women???

[Hurkyl]

To be honest, I think I like her even more for her response. *sigh*

[Evo]

sounds like love is in the air [:D]

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
To be honest, I think I like her even more for her response. *sigh*

I'd be like- if I wanted a friend I'd buy a dog. This is a date, don't bring friends:P

You can phrase it in a nicer way[;)]

[Tsu]

Originally posted by Zantra
I'd be like- if I wanted a friend I'd buy a dog. This is a date, don't bring friends:P

You can phrase it in a nicer way[;)]
I can understand her wanting a group on a first date - especially if she doesn't know the guy very well. Since this appears to be an 'office' romance in the making, she probably doesn't know whether or not Hurkyl is just your average nerd, or a total psycho outside the office. (She doesn't know you like WE do, Hurk! [:D] - 'course, that's kinda scary, too![:D] JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
There's safety in numbers, man. The dating is VERY SCARY these days! There're a LOT of sicko's (in more ways than one) out there!

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Tsunami
I can understand her wanting a group on a first date - especially if she doesn't know the guy very well. Since this appears to be an 'office' romance in the making, she probably doesn't know whether or not Hurkyl is just your average nerd, or a total psycho outside the office. (She doesn't know you like WE do, Hurk! [:D] - 'course, that's kinda scary, too![:D] JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
There's safety in numbers, man. The dating is VERY SCARY these days! There're a LOT of sicko's (in more ways than one) out there!

:( Is that also why Girl #3 of mine asked me if there's other girls coming with us to the movies??? [*(] [g)] [t)] [b(]

[rick1138]

:( Is that also why Girl #3 of mine asked me if there's other girls coming with us to the movies???

Well, there could be other reasons. :-) Seize the day - make sure there are other girls, nothing could be better than being seen at the moview with several girls.

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Tsunami
I can understand her wanting a group on a first date - especially if she doesn't know the guy very well. Since this appears to be an 'office' romance in the making, she probably doesn't know whether or not Hurkyl is just your average nerd, or a total psycho outside the office. (She doesn't know you like WE do, Hurk! [:D] - 'course, that's kinda scary, too![:D] JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
There's safety in numbers, man. The dating is VERY SCARY these days! There're a LOT of sicko's (in more ways than one) out there!

Oh I didn't realize it was an office romance. Tread very carefully hurkle. If it doesn't work out, it could get awkward.

[rick1138]

But seriously, you do need to put your date at ease concerning safety - it is very important. It got a little weird when my last date pulled a knife on me.

[Chrono]

Originally posted by rick1138
But seriously, you do need to put your date at ease concerning safety - it is very important. It got a little weird when my last date pulled a knife on me.

Ok, now I'm curious as to what happend after she did that.

[Tsu]

Originally posted by rick1138
But seriously, you do need to put your date at ease concerning safety - it is very important. It got a little weird when my last date pulled a knife on me.
[8)] THAT kinda stinks!
(Was it something you SAID? [:D])

[rick1138]

Ok, now I'm curious as to what happend after she did that.

I decided to go home.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Chrono
Ok, now I'm curious as to what happend after she did that.

what else? cut his shirt and commited crime of course.[6)] [:D]

[rick1138]

No it was more mundane than that - I went home and read a book on Lie Algebras.

[Hurkyl]

Well, actually, I generally don't see her at work (she's in a different complex atm); I met her at a class we had to take, and I see her once a month at lunch. Only other time was at a conference and lunch afterwards (and this is the only time I've been alone with her). I've seen her a couple times outside of work, though.

[twizted1]

Originally posted by rick1138
Seize the day - make sure there are other girls, nothing could be better than being seen at the moview with several girls.

I second this motion....and treat everyone of em like a queen....just be sure to keep "yer" girl a step above them and if things dont work out w/ her...you've already got yer boot in the door of the rest ;)

-Ty

[Tsu]

Originally posted by twizted1
I second this motion....and treat everyone of em like a queen....just be sure to keep "yer" girl a step above them and if things dont work out w/ her...you've already got yer boot in the door of the rest ;)

-Ty
YES!! THAT'S THE TICKET!!! Prudens, chivalry must know NO BOUNDS in this situation. The gentleman in you will score points by the dozens if you handle it this way - if not with your own fair princess (it'll be HER major loss if she rejects you after this!), then with all of her friends!

[rick1138]

just be sure to keep "yer" girl a step above them


Don't let them know which one is "yours", maybe you don't know yourself, after all they are all "just friends" Right? Right? Well, maybe not - you'll find out quickly.

[twizted1]

Originally posted by rick1138
Don't let them know which one is "yours", maybe you don't know yourself, after all they are all "just friends" Right? Right? Well, maybe not - you'll find out quickly.

By yers i mean the one you have your eye on...just in case that was worded badly...

The one thats yours you want to treat just a bit better till you find out her feelings...don't be a dick to the rest and dont be just super nice to only her....but you'll figure it out pretty quick....and like I said...if she doesn't want anything more than just a platonic relationship....you're already in good stead w/ the others ;)

-Ty

[PrudensOptimus]

LOL, I knew she couldn't resist me from the way she acted these days.


Just now, I received her msg on AIM,... using yet another Screenname(I have blocked her other names)

Girl #1: How's the website going?

Girl #1: It is veryyyyyyyyyy goood!! People told me a lot of compliments about it.

Me: Thanks ;)

Girl #1: How do I update it?

Me: You can't update it by yourself as of now; I'll write a web app that allows automatic text update after exams.

Girl #1: cool i'll ttyl

It was around 10:40PM... late. I guess she msged me before she went to bed.

[albrock06]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
GIRL EXPERTS!! Where art thou!!!!


Ever thought of actually asking a girl? Haha.

But seriously, I'm probably breaking all the rules of the female code by telling you this, but most girls like to talk about themselves. So, walk up to her, say, 'Hey there, how are ya?' and start a conversation. But if she just gives you a sarcastic smile and walks away, take it as a hint.

Tell her she looks nice. Whatever. Say something nice to her. Get creative. Girls like most dig creative guys.

Only girls like me dig the dorks. [;)] I couldn't help that.

[Evo]

When I read through the posts here, I am reminded of a Richard Brautigan poem (I read all his stuff when I was in my teens).

IT'S RAINING IN LOVE

I don't know what it is,
But I distrust myself
When I start to like a girl
A lot.

It makes me nervous.
I don't say the right things
Or perhaps I start
To examine,
Evaluate,
Compute
What I am saying.

If I say, "Do you think it's going to rain?"
and she says, "I don't know,"
I start thinking: Does she really like me?

In other words
I get a little creepy.

A friend of mine once said,
"It's twenty times better to be friends
with someone
than it is to be in love with them."

I think he's right and besides,
its raining somewhere, programming flowers
and keeping snails happy.
That's all taken care of.

BUT
if a girl likes me a lot
and starts getting real nervous
and suddenly begins asking me funny questions
and looks sad if I give the wrong answers
and she says things like,
"Do you think it's going to rain?"
and I say, "It beats me,"
and she says, "Oh,"
and looks a little sad
at the clear blue California sky,
I think: Thank God, it's you, baby, this time
Instead of me.

From "The Pill versus the Springhill Mine disaster"

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Evo
When I read through the posts here, I am reminded of a Richard Brautigan poem (I read all his stuff when I was in my teens).

IT'S RAINING IN LOVE

I don't know what it is,
But I distrust myself
When I start to like a girl
A lot.

It makes me nervous.
I don't say the right things
Or perhaps I start
To examine,
Evaluate,
Compute
What I am saying.

If I say, "Do you think it's going to rain?"
and she says, "I don't know,"
I start thinking: Does she really like me?

In other words
I get a little creepy.

A friend of mine once said,
"It's twenty times better to be friends
with someone
than it is to be in love with them."

I think he's right and besides,
its raining somewhere, programming flowers
and keeping snails happy.
That's all taken care of.

BUT
if a girl likes me a lot
and starts getting real nervous
and suddenly begins asking me funny questions
and looks sad if I give the wrong answers
and she says things like,
"Do you think it's going to rain?"
and I say, "It beats me,"
and she says, "Oh,"
and looks a little sad
at the clear blue California sky,
I think: Thank God, it's you, baby, this time
Instead of me.

From "The Pill versus the Springhill Mine disaster"


OK. Nice poem, really describes my heart:\

[Monique]

Prudens, just a small mentor note: please try not to quote those very long texts or images..

[jimmy p]

Jesus Christ (sorry for the profanity god)!! is this monster still going??? [8)]

[Zantra]

Originally posted by albrock06
Ever thought of actually asking a girl? Haha.

But seriously, I'm probably breaking all the rules of the female code by telling you this, but most girls like to talk about themselves. So, walk up to her, say, 'Hey there, how are ya?' and start a conversation. But if she just gives you a sarcastic smile and walks away, take it as a hint.

Tell her she looks nice. Whatever. Say something nice to her. Get creative. Girls like most dig creative guys.

Only girls like me dig the dorks. [;)] I couldn't help that.

Guys like to talk about themselves too. I guess we're alike in some ways[;)]

[twizted1]

Originally posted by jimmy p
Jesus Christ (sorry for the profanity god)!! is this monster still going??? [8)]

unfortunately....yet i'm still drawn back to kill time at work....

-Ty

[Lonewolf]

This thread has had more posts than quite a few of the forums have. [8)]

[Hurkyl]

Update on my crush: I saw her today, and she was friendly. After mentioning she hadn't replied to my e-mails, she suggested they might have been killed by an auto-delete function, so she never saw them.

[jimmy p]

drawn to it like a moth to the flame..... that doesnt sound very promising Hurkyl...

[Evo]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
Update on my crush: I saw her today, and she was friendly. After mentioning she hadn't replied to my e-mails, she suggested they might have been killed by an auto-delete function, so she never saw them.

Hurkyl...you are SO smart and SO good looking...I think it's time to move on to greener pastures.

[Hurkyl]

No one else peaks my interest, atm. (I don't mean that in the dirty way. [6)])

Anyways, after not getting a response for a few days, I pretty much stopped thinking about it; today when we talked, I didn't go to her, she came to me.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
No one else peaks my interest, atm. (I don't mean that in the dirty way. [6)])

Anyways, after not getting a response a few days, I pretty much stopped thinking about it; today when we talked, I didn't go to her, she came to me.


Hurkl!!! We are twins or whattt!!!!


Update on my girl #1:

In my previous posts I have mentioned a few days ago after ignoring her for 2 months, she had came up to me and start saying kiss *** words again.. Even though these days are exam days and she need my help in Economics... Today I got the test questions (took before her), and she was like "I LUV YOU!!!" And asked me if she can come over to ask me to tutor her(or she asked me to goto her house).

loll girls.

[Evo]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
No one else peaks my interest, atm. (I don't mean that in the dirty way. [6)])

Anyways, after not getting a response for a few days, I pretty much stopped thinking about it; today when we talked, I didn't go to her, she came to me.
The most guaranteed way to get a woman interested in you is to appear to lose interest in her. Trust me on this. Still be around, still be nice, but just act like it's no big deal. It will start to make her crazy.

[Monique]

Originally posted by Hurkyl
Update on my crush: I saw her today, and she was friendly. After mentioning she hadn't replied to my e-mails, she suggested they might have been killed by an auto-delete function, so she never saw them. It hàppens! The other day my best new years whishes were sent to the trashcan by an email filter! :{

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Evo
The most guaranteed way to get a woman interested in you is to appear to lose interest in her. Trust me on this. Still be around, still be nice, but just act like it's no big deal. It will start to make her crazy.
[!:)]For any ladies reading, this works just as well on men: pretend to be caught up in a whirlwind of projects, cooking for relatives, computer assignments, helping people with homework, so that he just seems to have fallen through the cracks of your interest. It'll drive him crazy. [!:)]

[rick1138]

The most guaranteed way to get a woman interested in you is to appear to lose interest in her.

"Remaining hidden, the master is sought after."
- Aphorisms of Love

[The_Professional]

Originally posted by Monique
It hàppens! The other day my best new years whishes were sent to the trashcan by an email filter! :{

Yours really happened. While in his situation, the girl was just making up an excuse.

[Hurkyl]

Anyways, I'm gonna be naive and take her at her word and see what happens next. *shrug*

[jimmy p]

hey hey, it happens. Im looking at the moment however no-one 'peaks my interest' i dontthink that is a good thing is it?
[6)]

I think what you are doing is a good course of action. Maybe it was a geniune fault. i doubt someone would set emails from you as junkmail when they dont know your intention? or do they?

[Evo]

Hurkyl, if you have the ability, you might want to send your e-mails "read receipt", this way you will know if she opens them or not and if she deletes them without reading them. She won't know that the e-mails are receipted. I have "read receipt" as the default on all my e-mail at work.

I got tired of people claiming they didn't do their job because they didn't get an e-mail, now when they tell me they never got the e-mail, I forward them the receipt showing they opened it. [!:)]

[Monique]

That's evil[!:)] How is it done?[6)]

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Evo
Hurkyl, if you have the ability, you might want to send your e-mails "read receipt", this way you will know if she opens them or not and if she deletes them without reading them. She won't know that the e-mails are receipted. I have "read receipt" as the default on all my e-mail at work.

I got tired of people claiming they didn't do their job because they didn't get an e-mail, now when they tell me they never got the e-mail, I forward them the receipt showing they opened it. [!:)]

Actually that usually only works in the coporate world. It's a function of outlook, so you can use it if the other person also has outlook, but it doesn't always work, depending on what the reciever is using for an email client.

[Evo]

I'm using Microsoft Outlook. If you have it go to:
tools - options - prefernces tab - e-mail options - tracking options - then select "read receipt"

When a person reads your e-mail, you will get a message like this:
Your message

To: XXXX, XXX (XXXX)
Subject: FW: VT
Sent: 1/11/2004 2:38 PM

was read on 1/11/2004 11:18 PM.

If they delete it without opening, the message will say "was deleted without reading" and show the time and date it was deleted.

Most professional e-mail programs have this setting. If you are sending to someone who is on a different e-mail network than yours, you may or may not get a receipt.

[Andy]

Origionally posted by Monique
Prudens, just a small mentor note: please try not to quote those very long texts or images..

Is there any reason for that? Or are you just being picky.

I always found that 'Patience' by Guns N'Roses seemed to sum up how i was feeling when i was trying to get a girls attention. A really nice song.

[Monique]

Originally posted by Andy
Is there any reason for that? Or are you just being picky. Because there is no point in quoting a whole post of someone, especially when it is very long. The forum looks a lot better without redundant information, keeping the quality up.

Oh, in case you didn't notice: Evo was the one posting the poem, after which it was quoted in full by the next poster.. kinda redundant isn't it? :P

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
It hàppens! The other day my best new years whishes were sent to the trashcan by an email filter! :{


mine too :(

[Andy]

Origionally posted By Monique,
Because there is no point in quoting a whole post of someone, especially when it is very long. The forum looks a lot better without redundant information, keeping the quality up.

Oh, in case you didn't notice: Evo was the one posting the poem, after which it was quoted in full by the next poster.. kinda redundant isn't it? :P

Hmmmm....just being picky then, lol.

I see why now thank you, although i should have guessed that.[:((]

[Warr]

I suggest reading this (http://www.intellectualwhores.com/ladderintro.html)

[twizted1]

Just so you know evo....you can kill a read receipt if you want to. Whenever my sister-in-law sends me an email its always read receipt, but i always kill it and she doesnt get a receipt at all from mine. not sure how it's set up, and don't know if it ported over to outlook when i cahnged over, but worked on outlook express...may have to try it later...

-Ty

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Monique
The forum looks a lot better without redundant information...
I'm glad you jumped on this reckless over-quotation habit some people have, Monique. In addition to looking better, it is a great help to the reader of the response to have his or her attention limited only to that point being responded to. The rest is a waste of space and time.

[Evo]

Originally posted by twizted1
Just so you know evo....you can kill a read receipt if you want to. Whenever my sister-in-law sends me an email its always read receipt, but i always kill it and she doesnt get a receipt at all from mine. not sure how it's set up, and don't know if it ported over to outlook when i cahnged over, but worked on outlook express...may have to try it later...

-Ty
I believe it's in how you have the receipt request set up. I sometimes receive an e-mail from a co-worker that has requested a "receipt" where a little box pops up and asks me if it's ok to send the receipt, I can say no. Is this what you are referring to?

My read receipt does not have this option for the recipient to deny the receipt, nor does it let them know I have requested it. The only way they will know that I have requested the receipt is if they go to the properties tab of the e-mail I sent them and look to see if I requested receipt, but they have to open the e-mail first, so I've already gotten my receipt.

Using the preview pane to read the e-mail used to be a sneaky way to read an e-mail without triggering the receipt, don't know if that is still true.

So, share how you "kill" the receipt request!

[Hurkyl]

Using the preview pane to read the e-mail used to be a sneaky way to read an e-mail without triggering the receipt, don't know if that is still true.

Lol, sneaky? I think it was weeks before I knew I could double-click a message in Outlook to read it in its own window!


I have no reason to do anything but take her at face value, so I'm not gonna start being sneaky and stuff. Disregarding the e-mail thing, she's done absolutely nothing to make me think she's not interested in me. (at least as a friend, but I've gotten the impression that she likes me more than that... and I don't get that impression very often!)

[Evo]

Hurkyl, I am sure she's got to realize what a great catch you are!

Good luck!

[Zantra]

Originally posted by Evo
I'm using Microsoft Outlook. If you have it go to:
tools - options - prefernces tab - e-mail options - tracking options - then select "read receipt"

When a person reads your e-mail, you will get a message like this:
Your message

To: XXXX, XXX (XXXX)
Subject: FW: VT
Sent: 1/11/2004 2:38 PM

was read on 1/11/2004 11:18 PM.

If they delete it without opening, the message will say "was deleted without reading" and show the time and date it was deleted.

Most professional e-mail programs have this setting. If you are sending to someone who is on a different e-mail network than yours, you may or may not get a receipt.

This will work on on the reciever IF thier mail server is exchange.(outlook is just the interface for exchange). It MAY or MAY NOT work on smtp servers, depending on the mail server, and it will not work on pop3 mail- this type of mail includes any web based mail(hotmail, yahoo,etc). The mail tracking software is usually not cross compatible between mail server programs. A good deal of the business world utilizes MS exchange as thier primary mail server, so it gives the appearance that tracking is universally compatible. Unfortunately, this is not the case

[Evo]

Hi Zantra, yes you are correct, that's why I said I have it at work, it's not an option on my personal e-mail. It's most effective when you are using mainly intra-company e-mail, which I believe is Hurkyl's situation, which is why I brought it up, not as a universal function for all e-mail. But he is truly a good person and is going to trust his heart. [:D]

Do you know of a way to disable the receipt function when you recieve an e-mail you know will be receipted? It would be nice to know.

[twizted1]

Originally posted by Evo
I believe it's in how you have the receipt request set up. I sometimes receive an e-mail from a co-worker that has requested a "receipt" where a little box pops up and asks me if it's ok to send the receipt, I can say no. Is this what you are referring to?
[b]
I know my sister sometimes sends them like this where it asks to send one...but....

Originally posted by Evo [b]
My read receipt does not have this option for the recipient to deny the receipt, nor does it let them know I have requested it. The only way they will know that I have requested the receipt is if they go to the properties tab of the e-mail I sent them and look to see if I requested receipt, but they have to open the e-mail first, so I've already gotten my receipt.

Using the preview pane to read the e-mail used to be a sneaky way to read an e-mail without triggering the receipt, don't know if that is still true.

So, share how you "kill" the receipt request!
I guess I cheat sometimes using the preview pane...but i sent myself one last night from work to home and as of this morning still havn't gotten a read receipt from having opened it last night. could just be a glitch in mine...but i dunno...i'll try it again tonight and see how/if it does....

-Ty

[twizted1]

Originally posted by Zantra
This will work on on the reciever IF thier mail server is exchange.(outlook is just the interface for exchange). It MAY or MAY NOT work on smtp servers, depending on the mail server, and it will not work on pop3 mail- this type of mail includes any web based mail(hotmail, yahoo,etc). The mail tracking software is usually not cross compatible between mail server programs. A good deal of the business world utilizes MS exchange as thier primary mail server, so it gives the appearance that tracking is universally compatible. Unfortunately, this is not the case

Could be why mine doesnt work....not using exchange at home...just smtp and pop3 on 2 of my accounts....i'll try it some more and see...

-Ty

[PrudensOptimus]

OK, Now since Valentines is coming up soon... I want to revive this thread again.

Remember Girl#1 I was talking about in this thread? Well, seems like shes coming back for more. A short chrono timeline of our events:

A year ago - We had physics together, I love her, didn't tell her; she suddenly moved up to sit next to me in class the 2nd day. Later, a guy friend of hers told me she likes me; i took it as a joke.

A month ago - I sent a XMas Chocolate pack and I wrote a letter and inside I told her about how "I think about her every second." Asked a trusted friend to deliver it to her,. Don't know what her response was seen the letter, one of her good friends told me she doesn't like me... so I stopped talking to her for a while, went for another one.

A day after XMas(her birthday) - I brought this new girl(Girl #3) and a bunch of my friends to watch LOTR III. Later she wrote me a letter thanking me and crap but says "I didn't appreciate you made things so quick."

2 weeks ago - Girl#1 took initiative like she has never before! More "Hi", "Hello" and smiles for me... And she starts to talk about this guy at my school more often when talking with me over the internet. Don't know what game is she playing...

Updates? Advices? Interpretations? All will be welcomed.

[Evo]

Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
Updates? Advices? Interpretations? All will be welcomed. Just that my thoughts and best wishes are with you Prudens. I gave up on finding love 7 years ago. It's been a peaceful 7 years. [:))]
But you are young and still need to go through this ritual torment. Good luck to you my friend. [:)]

[rick1138]

In case you haven't noticed: all women are crazy, love is a crazy game; it is the game that created all of us. There is no exit from the game. Her behavior is typical. Now she is coming after you again - let her in, but don't confront her about her behavior, don't act as if she has wounded you in the past in any way, even if she did. Love can be a very beautiful thing, too. Now is the time to accept the affection that she offers you.

[Monique]

Well, you definately came on too strong with 'thinking about you every second' and chocolates (rather: your smile brightens the day) so she got scared, you gave her space, so now she is coming back with curiosity :)

[Andy]

Women have caused so much chaos in what was an orderly life for me, but i wouldnt stop chasing them for the world. Absolutely crazy isnt it.

[jimmy p]

women...cant live with em, cant live without em. Hmmmm, they cause SO much trouble, mess you around, build you up and break you down, and we STILL want more!! fools.

[Monique]

That's because you haven't met the right woman yet [!:)]

[jimmy p]

No-one is right for me, im a little too eccentric for most people tastes...aint that right Andy?...and tempermental, and unfocused, and other things like that which mean that i am all over the place.

Stupid one type of person tastes that women have..

[Andy]

lol, all women like ya pick, but as you said they think you abit eccentric, or to put it in womans words, MAD. But 21 years and 7 months time......[:D]

[Chrono]

Well, Prudens, you're one of the fortunate ones. At least, unlike me, you like a girl who doesn't have a boyfriend (I haven't read where you said that she did). So you have a chance to get with her.

Girls are like internet domains, I once heard, because all the good one's and the one's you want are already taken. And, I'd like to add, you must be quick if someone loses one, for it wouldn't be long before someone else gets it before you.

[rick1138]

You just need to play the odds and keep looking - there are plenty of free women, unless they are quarks.

because all the good one's and the one's you want are already taken.

...or maybe the ones you want are taken, and you only think they are good if they are. You need to change your way of thinking. I did.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by Monique
Well, you definately came on too strong with 'thinking about you every second' and chocolates (rather: your smile brightens the day) so she got scared, you gave her space, so now she is coming back with curiosity :)

LOLlll, girls.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by jimmy p
women...cant live with em, cant live without em. Hmmmm, they cause SO much trouble, mess you around, build you up and break you down, and we STILL want more!! fools.


So true:( Unless you cut your buddy.

[PrudensOptimus]

Originally posted by rick1138
You just need to play the odds and keep looking - there are plenty of free women, unless they are quarks.



...or maybe the ones you want are taken, and you only think they are good if they are. You need to change your way of thinking. I did.


Lol... If they were domains... There must be a place to register them right? :D And you can sell them too lol at high prices.

[PrudensOptimus]

Wow, I've been gone for so long... Just noticed it was only a month or two.

[jimmy p]

we missed ya so much another thread was devoted in YOUR honour!!

[Chrono]

we missed ya so much another thread was devoted in YOUR honour!!

You have me to thank for that

[The_Professional]

It never ceases to amaze me that when a guy is a little bit aloof. The female homo sapien, just eat it up like mozzarella cheese on pizza.

[jimmy p]

What does aloof mean??

[Dagenais]

Not really caring. Kind of removed emotionally.

[The_Professional]

Yep. Just don't be too aloof, you don't want to be an emotionless android.

[Ebolamonk3y]

Awww man... I wanted to be a robot. :)

Girls... Hmmm, me thinks I will not waste my time with those matters!

[Ebolamonk3y]

HAMLET
We shall know by this fellow: the players cannot keep counsel; they'll tell all.

OPHELIA
Will he tell us what this show meant?

HAMLET
Ay, or any show that you'll show him: be not you ashamed to show, he'll not shame to tell you what it means.

OPHELIA
You are naught, you are naught: I'll mark the play.

Prologue
For us, and for our tragedy,
Here stooping to your clemency,
We beg your hearing patiently.

Exit

HAMLET
Is this a prologue, or the posy of a ring?

OPHELIA
'Tis brief, my lord.

HAMLET
As woman's love.



Heheheheheheheh

[Polly]

Now why does a self-respecting girl like me raises to the bait again and wants to tell you guys how to win hearts? Ahhhhhhhh must be because of Mr. Professional's irresistable aloofness :biggrin: !! BTW, by aloofness do you mean "mystery", like Johnny Depp?

Anyway, I have a story to tell. My brother had had a couple of heart breaks and never had a girlfriend, love unreturned you see. Since last year he has been out of a job as a designer because of the economy. Any yet just when he was "down and out" he met his girlfriend - while doing voluntary work for the house of the age where she works as the administrator. And a very nice girl too, mild-tempered, prim and proper and very pretty too. Inspired? :wink:

[jimmy p]

Yep. Just don't be too aloof, you don't want to be an emotionless android.


....whoops....

[Chrono]

Since last year he has been out of a job as a designer because of the economy. Any yet just when he was "down and out" he met his girlfriend - while doing voluntary work for the house of the age where she works as the administrator. And a very nice girl too, mild-tempered, prim and proper and very pretty too. Inspired?

You trying to inspire us to quit our jobs?

[desibrij_1785]

hey ****.... why don't you just go and ask her out.... ask her if she wants to go to prom or some club. Offer her ride to her home or anything that starts a conversation. Life is short so don't waste your time on stupid high school games.

[Mahotsukai7]

Hey man i found the easiest and simplest solution to your problems........ its called the date rape drug, or beter yet a donkey punch

[PrudensOptimus]

hey ****.... why don't you just go and ask her out.... ask her if she wants to go to prom or some club. Offer her ride to her home or anything that starts a conversation. Life is short so don't waste your time on stupid high school games.

Is this statement to me?

If it is, I certainly don't have those oppertunities you mentioned above. I mentioned very clearly that the displacement between her position and mine as of this point is 8 hours drive. And as for proms and clubs, I doubt there would be any for teenagers, and even if there were, I wouldn't invite any girl to that sort of place. Offer a ride? I am not legal to drive by myself yet, although she is. And please define stupid high school games.

-Prudens

[jimmy p]

if its for me then no thanx, i'd rather be HONEST.

[Polly]

OOOH Mr. Professional, I am such a meathead, I thought I was replying to the Update thread when I made the joke yesterday. Please forgive me. Of course, now that I have a brief idea of PO's problem, I think your advice is entirely sound. I would say too that being a little aloof and inscrutable would be useful now that the ball is in her court. Pleeeeeeeease forgive :biggrin: !

[The_Professional]

OOOH Mr. Professional, I am such a meathead, I thought I was replying to the Update thread when I made the joke yesterday. Please forgive me. Of course, now that I have a brief idea of PO's problem, I think your advice is entirely sound. I would say too that being a little aloof and inscrutable would be useful now that the ball is in her court. Pleeeeeeeease forgive :biggrin: !

It's a Yin Yang kind of thang ;)

[Polly]

:smile: You mean opposites spawn each other?

[Adam]

Girl trouble is big trouble.

I'm kinda average in appearance I guess, and not very sociable. Strange as it is, I was just asked out by an incredibly beautiful, and seemingly quite nice, model. A human one, that is. Female. With a pulse and all. It's all very strange.

[PrudensOptimus]

Girl trouble is big trouble.

I'm kinda average in appearance I guess, and not very sociable. Strange as it is, I was just asked out by an incredibly beautiful, and seemingly quite nice, model. A human one, that is. Female. With a pulse and all. It's all very strange.


Don't forget to show us a picture.

[PrudensOptimus]

I give up on girl #1 and #2(Polish girl). and umm #3 is hard to say, since we only see each other for a week(staying in the same hotel on a conference) once a year.

:\

[The_Professional]

Don't worry. There's plenty of mermaids in the ocean.

[The_Professional]

Now why does a self-respecting girl like me raises to the bait again and wants to tell you guys how to win hearts? Ahhhhhhhh must be because of Mr. Professional's irresistable aloofness :biggrin: !! BTW, by aloofness do you mean "mystery", like Johnny Depp?


A little bit of mystery, a little bit of intrigue, a little bit of suspense. I should write a book.

[Chrono]

A little bit of mystery, a little bit of intrigue, a little bit of suspense. I should write a book.

You do that. I'll buy it

[Chameleon]

Perhaps ignoring her right back, but leaving just a little room open for her to recognise how you feel, not in a manipulative way but in a sincere way. As if your ignoring her right back is a means of looking after your own feelings and an attempt to to not excessively sour your relationship with her. A gentle friendly lure if you will.

[franznietzsche]

Odd what you can find just browsing threads...


Anyway i thought i'd throw out my little story as a warning of sorts to others, so here goes:

NEVER get involved with a girl who is not single, either wait until she is, or forget about it.

About seven months ago, this drop dead gorgeous girl i've known for two years AIMs me for no apparent reason(i was not aware she had my sn, though as it turned out i had given it to her at some point a year previously). As i found out alter she messaged me because her boyfriend was being an idiot involving someother girl, and she was feeling pretty badly about herself. Nice guy that i was, i just tried to be a nice friend to her and cheer her up (of course encouraging her to ditch the guy, but no success)

After several months of very long, involved conversations, I began to fall in love with this girl, in retrospect a very big mistake. So after months of flirting (which irritated her boyfriend to no end) i started to get tired of being a 'third weel' so to speak, so i made a move, asked her to senior prom,which her response was "i can't". so i said to heck with it, and me and her fell out for a few weeks and stopped talking, until her boyfriend did something stupid(told her she would never be anything but mammary glands and a face to anyone) and she came running to me...again.

We started spending more time together during the summer...until her boyfriend found out. That night when i last talked to her she got off the phone saying she loved me...two weeks later having not heard from her, i hear from a mutual friend that her boyfriend forbid her from seeing me, and that she was never gonna talk to me again.


Moral of the story: never get involved with a girl who is already taken, to quote Nietzsche on this problem:

"The happiness of woman is: he wills. 'Behold, just now the world became perfect!'-thus thinks every woman who obeys out of entire love."

He said 'jump', and she said 'how high honey?'. Never get involved with a girl who already has a boyfriend, until she leaves him first.... Thats my half a cent, for what its worth.

[The Bob]

Great advice there. So many people fall into that trap. Not wise.

It would have been good for me to post in this thread 2 months ago but not only did I not realise it existed but I got my gal now so I am fine :biggrin:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[teakajoy]

Talk to her, since Ive gotten older I have recently found out that there were a couple of guys who liked me back in the day, but I never knew. Because I was "hot" I spent alot of Friday nights alone. Or out with jerks. The good guys never even asked me out because they assumed that I wouldnt go or had other plans. So there I sat. Not all the time of course, until I figured out what the problem was and learned I had to make the first move. My daughters have gone through the same thing. If you like her, talk to her. Invite her to have coffee. Dont give up. My oldest daughter is now dating a man that came to her resteraunt 32 nights in a row. He said he would come every night so she could get to know him and go on a date with him. She told him she didnt date strangers. Now they are talking marrige! Always be friendly if she dosnt speak first, you do it! If she does then be sure to reply with a smile. Be funny its alot more sexy then being buff or cool.

[jimmy p]

Dudes and dudettes, what happened to Prudens?

Probably like me, 'n still looking for someone....

[Chrono]

I was going to ask the same thing.

I think he's found someone and is spending all his time with her. That's why he's not posting.

[franznietzsche]

Not wise.




Unfortunately i didn't listen to that advice while it was happening...rose colored glass and what not. Wasn't until afterwards that i saw everyone else was right. But yeah...not a wise idea...

[Tom McCurdy]

Maybe advice for us all would be to actually talk to girls in person rather than discussing them on physicsforum.com

[The Bob]

You see people (like me) cannot do that unless it is about maths or science or music or general talk. As soon as the subject goes to dating and that stuff I leave. I can't handle it. Thought I was never going to get a girlfriend. Wonders never stop :biggrin: . But yes you are right. We should talk to them.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[jimmy p]

I dont have much luck talking to women. I never have anything to say really. That is probably the reason.

[cookiemonster]

Whenever I get caught with nothing to say, I start making up the most ridiculous, outrageous, and hopefully entertaining responses I can think of. It seems to work, but it really can be a lot of work... And starting off a conversation like that would probably be suicidal.

cookiemonster

[Chrono]

Maybe advice for us all would be to actually talk to girls in person rather than discussing them on physicsforum.com

How about we do both and talk to the girls on this forum?

[franznietzsche]

Maybe advice for us all would be to actually talk to girls in person rather than discussing them on physicsforum.com

The problem isn't talking to them, that goes jsut fine. Its finding ones that immediately after they say they love you don't agree never to see you again... bad screening methods really.

[The Bob]

How about we do both and talk to the girls on this forum?

Good idea but who was the last woman to post in this thread?

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Polly]

Me?

Hi Guys, I am back :biggrin: !!

[balkan]

I never really talked to her very often because I didn't want to "bother" her. But I msged her over AIM and I asked her why did she have to act like she's ignoring me, she said she didn't mean to. (She acts perfectly normal sometimes, saying hi to me in the hall way... but sometimes she just act like she never knew me...)

The first thing she said to me when she saw me at the potluck was "Is Swing here? Is he here? Where is he?" (Swing=guy). From what I know she doesn't go out with him, and he had some weird contagious flu. She kept on talking with him in front of me and my friends, making us look bad or something. Later went to his house and left potluck , I chose not to go because I wanted to worship the Lord(christian potluck).

man this thread is way too long... shoulda bothered to check when it started...
her response is very natural and comes as no surprise if you have shown some interest but didn't follow through...

roughly, this is how many women punish guys who doesn't act out on the signals they send... most of them doesn't really know they're doing it, others do it intentionally to kick your friggin *** in motion or to show your sorry *** what you could have got if you had some balls... prolly, she knows you're interested and tired of waiting for you to make a move... strangely enough, it doesn't matter whether she's feeling the same way as you, she just want to resolve the situation and get the tension over with...

[The Bob]

Me?

Hi Guys, I am back :biggrin: !!

Oh hello. :biggrin:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[visitor_g_dhx7]

Dear PrudensOptimus,

Women are an alien race of evil mutants from Venus. They thrive on making men feel jealous - let her know this is going on in your head and your done for - fight it - disguise it, this may sound a bit extreme, but what you are going through is war. Absolutely the same tactics are required. Yeah I may sound insane - but listen to me dude - that "all's fair in love and war" idea is profound for a good reason.

Recommended Reading:

"Sun Tzu" - The Art of War, pay particuar attention to this quote:

"All Warfare is deception."

Keep secrets from her. Half finish a really interesting sentence, then pretend to get distracted, make her think, she's into physics, then her mind must love a good mystery - that's what you've got to be - Mysterious. Decieve, lie, make up incredible stories, if this doesn't sound like you, try it anyway, just for the diversity. Half-finish your projection of yourself, and she'll want to fill in the missing pieces in her own time - that's how you get her to think about you, soon you'll be familiar to her, then she'll like you more - but CAUTION - DO NOT LET HER KNOW YOU'RE JEALOUS. She'll Eat you alive.

Good luck, soldier.

Visitor_g_dhx7
(Sci Fi Writer.)

[Chrono]

Oh hello. :biggrin:

Doubted me, huh, Bob?

[RalphS]

Understanding women is more about understanding yourself. Yes, in todays day and age, what we think of love is actually war. Go back a few centuries ago, and it meant something completly different. I like the old definition better myself.

Usually, men want.

However, women want to be wanted.

Realize that most relationships form on trying to take rather then trying to give. My high school physics teacher once told the class "Men take. Women give."

But it works better when both give. Then you actually build, instead of remaining at neutral. And then you can watch the little flower of love grow everyday.

If you are a true hopeless romantic, give up the thing that means the absolute most to you, and give it to your huny, always, from moment to moment, every day. You'll realize that you wont break without it. If you dont break, it must have never really been part of you, so living without it is no big deal. And then things like respect and courage and strength come in, because you grow beyond into something better.

If you look back, you realize that the bad kids in school were the ones that always had the parents that went dancing and clubbing and drinking and partying. And all the good kids had the most boring parents in the world. More and more people are being mislead about the circus of life.

Email me with more questions: ralph@2d.com

Ralph

[The Bob]

Doubted me, huh, Bob?

No No. I just haven't had a read of all of the pages of this thread so I do not know which females post here.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[jimmy p]

Lol, most of us are lonely men... :cry:

[balkan]

it's all about the attitude, brother :wink: you'll figure it out one of these days...

... or die as an old, lonely man :frown:

[jimmy p]

option number two seems more likely.... not lonely though, with snakes!!

[Chrono]

You know, something interesting happend at work today-aww, I'm not going to bore y'all with my ramblings of my pathetic excuse of a love life.

[jimmy p]

No, no, go on, it is probably a better shot than I have, and I love happy stories... mostly!

[Polly]

Hi guys, like I said I am back - but from hell.

If starting a romantic relationship is a battle, then keeping it as a going concern must be a trojan war.

My boyfriend of 4 1/4 years standing (4 of those years in a long distance relationship) was to come back to me for good at the beginning of May. Just when I have done all the polishing, dusting, vacuuming and cleaning and washing and was literally holding my breath for the long awaited moment, he disappeared. Stopped calling me and stopped taking my call. His mother kept telling me he is in France having a holiday. I cannot begin to tell you guys how tormented I have been, confused and hurt and sad and didn't know how or what to think. On top of that I was laid off in the third week of his disappearance and my mother was hospitalised a few weeks later. Talk about tough luck. I finally decided that he wanted to break up with me but was too ? to tell me.

Anyway the moral of the story is - if you have a long distance relationship, don't drag it on for over three years, it will start unravelling. Scientists are right as far as I am concerned, romantic love generally lasts about three years.

P.S. Like William Hung said, I have done my best, I have no regret. Deep inside my heart I am still waiting for him. Guess I am too used to waiting for him.

[jimmy p]

Hmmm, romantics may last a few years, but true love should last the rest of your life. Alas my parents didnt thinks so, they are splitting up after 23 years. Love is over-rated.

[Polly]

Yes I agree with you, true love can never cease loving.

Well, my parents though should have splitted up 23 years ago.

[Chrono]

No, no, go on, it is probably a better shot than I have, and I love happy stories... mostly!

Who said it was a happy one?

[Polly]

I am okay, reading your posts about skunks and ants and fashion and receipes makes me smile, and it is so good to have loving ladies like Holly and Moonbear around, they are unknowingly therapeutic.

[balkan]

P.S. Like William Hung said, I have done my best, I have no regret. Deep inside my heart I am still waiting for him. Guess I am too used to waiting for him.

that is a pattern right there... recognize it as that, and get it the hell out of there, cause you really dont need it... that stunt he pulled should tell you all you need to know about him if you think rationally about it... that is a dip**** thing to do...
do the opposite of waiting for him everytime you get that feeling, and you'll eventually be rid of it... otherwise you'll be wasting a lot of time sitting around either waiting or being miserable, and life is really, really short... remember that :smile:

Good nigth Seattle, and good mental health :biggrin:

[jimmy p]

Who said it was a happy one?


It's not happy?? Oh well tell anyway, I could do with a good laugh! :devil: Nah, we are all here for emotional support.

[Chrono]

It's not happy?? Oh well tell anyway, I could do with a good laugh! :devil: Nah, we are all here for emotional support.

It seems you're the only one who's really interested, Jimmy. Well, since you asked nicely, I'll tell.

Ok, the thing is she will not give out her phone number. But, at work we have an employee directory with everybody's number on it, but, as luck would have it, there a digit in it I couldn't tell if it was a 5 or a 0. So I just asked her, which one it was, and she still wouldn't tell me. I got tired of that so I told her I'll just call them and find out which one is hers. I mentioned that if I was brave enough that I'd call her tomorrow, which is today. After that, she seemed a bit serious and was like, "You know I have a boyfriend, right?" "Yeah." "And you still want to call me?" "Of course, I mean the main reason is because we don't talk enough here since we're working."

Let's hope I have the courage to call tonight.

[jimmy p]

Ummmm I'm a little confused. Do you like this girl? Is there much point if she has a boyfriend? Or do you just want to be friends with her or something. I have to admit that I would be a little freaked if someone went to all that effort just to get my number. But then I get freaked at dandelions.

[Monique]

Chrono :eek: did she ever give you the impression you should call her? From what you said she didn't. Since she has a boyfriend, and she's telling you she's got a boyfriend, and she not giving out her number, not even hinting what her number is, you should really stay out of it!

[Chrono]

She said she didn't care if I called. Besides, what's the big deal if I call even if she has a boyfriend? Of course, I would like to get with her, but I'd like to be friends with her first. And, remember, I said that the main reason for doing that is because we don't have much time at work to talk.

[Evo]

Hmmm, romantics may last a few years, but true love should last the rest of your life. Alas my parents didnt thinks so, they are splitting up after 23 years. Love is over-rated.Chopnik, I am so sorry. It is probably for the best if they are not happy together. I know it has to be hard on you though. :frown:

[Evo]

She said she didn't care if I called. Besides, what's the big deal if I call even if she has a boyfriend? Of course, I would like to get with her, but I'd like to be friends with her first. And, remember, I said that the main reason for doing that is because we don't have much time at work to talk.NOOOOOO!!! STOP!!!!! She means - do not call me. Trust me on this.

Chrono, please find a girl that does not have a boyfriend, preferably one that has not had a boyfriend for at least a few months.

[Moonbear]

She said she didn't care if I called. Besides, what's the big deal if I call even if she has a boyfriend? Of course, I would like to get with her, but I'd like to be friends with her first. And, remember, I said that the main reason for doing that is because we don't have much time at work to talk.

I agree with Evo, DON'T call her! If she wanted you to call, she'd have given you her phone number, not told you she had a boyfriend. That's a warning to let you know don't call. Pretty straightforward actually. This is someone you work with, right? At best, she's going to be really irritated and a bit freaked out you called her at home when she clearly told you not to do that. At worst, she's going to charge you with sexual harrassment or stalking for not taking NO to mean NO. You want to be more than friends, she doesn't. Give her some space, give yourself some space, and move along. There will be others who will be interested in you. Besides, you never know, there could be other reasons she doesn't want you calling her house. If she didn't give you her phone number, respect her privacy and don't call her there.

[Monique]

She said she didn't care if I called. Besides, what's the big deal if I call even if she has a boyfriend? Of course, I would like to get with her, but I'd like to be friends with her first. And, remember, I said that the main reason for doing that is because we don't have much time at work to talk.
I understand you are naieve and think calling is innocent, aiming to become close friends with a girl that is already emotionally involved with someone else is just really not done(!), sorry. She doesn't care whether you call means 'do not call me' without having to say the harsh words.

Evo, Moonbear and me agree very well on this..

[Tsu]

Sorry, Chrono. I, too, must agree with the other women here. When a girl says "I don't care if...", she usually means she'd rather you didn't.

[Chrono]

All right, since it's unanimous I won't call her unless she starts complaining that I haven't. I really got to find some single girls.

[chroot]

BTW, most women regard men who continue to pursue them, despite having been told quite clearly that they are already happily involved with someone, as extremely disrespectful. Put it this way: the girl presumably loves her boyfriend. Anyone who disrespects him or her relationship to him (for example, by calling her and trying subversively to "get with her") is not going to have a snowball's chance in hell. More than likely, she and her boyfriend will wind up rolling around in bed and laughing at you together.

While it's true that some women play hard to get and tease you a bit before showing you clear positive signals, there are subtle differences between playing hard to get and being off-limits. This girl is not playing hard to get. From the sound of it, she's happily taken, doesn't want you to call her, and is taking your advances toward her as offensive.

- Warren

[Zantra]

In Chrono's defense, it's always possible it could be a situation where she's not happy and looking to explore her options. But if she's not giving up the digits, I'd say it's a no go. If she was looking for some side action, she'd have given up the digits and THEN warned you she has a boyfriend.

This has to be the longest thread on PF now:P

[Chrono]

Dang. Why is it that only I didn't get it?

[balkan]

Dang. Why is it that only I didn't get it?

get used to it... girls will expect you to be a mind reader pretty much for the rest of your life... :frown:

[Moonbear]

Dang. Why is it that only I didn't get it?

Because you were letting your own romantic hopes get in the way of clear thinking...happens all the time. That's why you're just lucky all us women showed up in this thread at once to set you straight :approve: Hey, better than calling to find out she has caller ID and either ignored all your attempts or had her boyfriend answer every time you called (in my younger days, I did that when one guy just wouldn't get the hint I wasn't interested...I had my roommate's boyfriend answer the phone and pretend to be MY jealous boyfriend).

So, how would you have known if she was still shopping around? Easy, when she told you she had a boyfriend and wouldn't give her home number, she might have suggested an alternative..."I have a boyfriend, don't call me at home, but why don't you join a couple of us heading out for drinks after work on Friday?" Or "...but why don't we get together for lunch sometime?" Something like that.

[Chrono]

You know what, I'm just going to ask her outright if she really wanted me to call or not. I'll see her tomorrow during the last hour of work so I'll ask her then. I got the strange feeling like y'all are going to tell me that it's a bad idea, though. :grumpy:

[The Bob]

You know what, I'm just going to ask her outright if she really wanted me to call or not. I'll see her tomorrow during the last hour of work so I'll ask her then. I got the strange feeling like y'all are going to tell me that it's a bad idea, though. :grumpy:

Indeed we are. MInd you I did the same and there was no problem for a while, but I had to think. See I don't ask the girl out. She normally asks me out. :shy: But you will have to learn to mind read. Sorry. :biggrin:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[The_Professional]

Women who have high interest level in you don't confuse you with mixed signals.

If you're still confuse just look at her actions, (is she with you? No) Don't project your own feelings, and always look at reality.

[Moonbear]

The other big hint is that now that you've expressed interest in calling her, you still don't see her much at work. Trust me, if a guy gives a clear indication he's interested, like asking for your phone number while sober, and the woman is interested, she WILL make a point of running into him more often. And if she's someone who is going to play hard-to-get to that sort of an extreme, you don't want to be with her anyway...she'll do nothing but play mind-games that you don't need.

[The_Professional]

It's funny how when a gal digs you, everywhere you look she seems to be always there, you bump into her most of the time.
It's as if she's helping you, because she wants to be with you.

[franznietzsche]

It seems you're the only one who's really interested, Jimmy. Well, since you asked nicely, I'll tell.

Ok, the thing is she will not give out her phone number. But, at work we have an employee directory with everybody's number on it, but, as luck would have it, there a digit in it I couldn't tell if it was a 5 or a 0. So I just asked her, which one it was, and she still wouldn't tell me. I got tired of that so I told her I'll just call them and find out which one is hers. I mentioned that if I was brave enough that I'd call her tomorrow, which is today. After that, she seemed a bit serious and was like, "You know I have a boyfriend, right?" "Yeah." "And you still want to call me?" "Of course, I mean the main reason is because we don't talk enough here since we're working."

Let's hope I have the courage to call tonight.


Read my post about girls with boyfriends. I'm telling you now, stay away, its a bad idea. I've learned this from experience.

[The Bob]

Ok Chrono. Take it from another guy. Leave her. It will not work out.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[jimmy p]

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT DO IT!!!!!

All girls with boyfriends should be avoided even if they come on to you. I made my mistake and learned from it.

[Chrono]

Ok, ok, I'll quit trying to get with her. Doesn't mean I can't be friendly, though. However, if I hear that they break up I'll be tempted to continue where I left off, but by the looks of it I doubt that will happen. I can keep my hopes up, can't I?

[Polly]

:smile: Chrono,
a girl with bf = untouchable
a girl in the course of rebound = untouchable
False hope will not get you anywhere, look elsewhere buddy.

[Chrono]

Look elsewhere? That's what I was doing in the first place. Am I bad at this, or what? I think it would a good idea to just take a break from all this for a while. That may be one thing y'all can agree on.

[Evo]

Chrono, it is ok not to be in a relationship for awhile.

You do seem to have a history of being attracted to girls that are already in a relationship or just ending one. Perhaps you like the challenge more than the girl?

Giving advice is easy. But I will say that I think that you should stop thinking about trying to be in a relationship so much, raise your standards a bit (no girls that aren't available) and relax. You are still very young. It will happen. :smile:

[Chrono]

You do seem to have a history of being attracted to girls that are already in a relationship or just ending one.

Yeah, I guess I should ask if they're taken before that happens?

[Evo]

Yeah, I guess I should ask if they're taken before that happens?Maybe you're just having a really bad streak of luck? :frown:

[Chrono]

Maybe you're just having a really bad streak of luck? :frown:

Yeah, that sounds good. I guess, the only way to go now is up. :rolleyes:

[The_Professional]

Look elsewhere? That's what I was doing in the first place. Am I bad at this, or what? I think it would a good idea to just take a break from all this for a while. That may be one thing y'all can agree on.

Yes, take a break. Let her ruin some other guy's life.

[Deniel]

Look elsewhere? That's what I was doing in the first place. Am I bad at this, or what? I think it would a good idea to just take a break from all this for a while. That may be one thing y'all can agree on.
Leave that lady out of your mind, think of a more professional one who is awaited !
Trust me on that! She would bring you happiness then the lady you mentioned as your "firster", uhmm, how do people know it is your first-er or it is ten-ner ? I just wonder a bit anyway

[Deniel]

Yes, take a break. Let her ruin some other guy's life.
You talk as if women are all XXores !

[The_Professional]

You talk as if women are all XXores !

Umm, No. I wasn't even remotely implying to that

[Chrono]

She would bring you happiness then the lady you mentioned as your "firster", uhmm, how do people know it is your first-er or it is ten-ner ? I just wonder a bit anyway

My "firster"?

[khermans]

Wow, I can't believe this thread - but what the heck, here's my two cents :-P

This girl is obviously toying with you and maybe does have some kind of a little crush on you, as showed by her friend's comments that she likes you. Anyways, the point is just to be confident about yourself whether it's wrong or not. Even if you are wrong about something, be confident about it. Girls like that confidence. (ponders physicists never admitting they are wrong even after their theories are disproved!) The trick is that most girls like *******s, seriously. People on here won't tell you that, but it's especially true in high school among the "popular crowd". You'll soon realize that this class warfare in high school amounts to nothing once you are out. The whole things fades as time goes on and you are out of school. College life may be a bit of it, but most people finally mature after high school is over.

Anyways, so you can try the ******* approach. When I say this though, you can't be over the top assholish! And also, she seems to already know you so this may not work on her, and may only work in the future on other women. Like the guy who posted before said, you need to drop little hints that you are interested. Like in the AIM conversation, you should have said "You're gonna make it up to me right?" or something like that. Drop hints that you you are interested in her, and this hint dropping equates to self-confidence.

You mentioned that she was trying to "put you down" in front of friends. Maybe she wasn't trying to, but just getting your attention the only way she knows how. Another physchological explanation for this is that maybe she is ashamed at herself for having a crush on you (maybe you are not hot, and she likes you - but dating you would be unacceptable in her social situation), and feels the need to put you down to appease her social "ranking". It's weird, but seems like a good start to thinking about your problem.

If it were me, from what I know about women now, I would avoid this girl even if you do have a crush on her. Dwelling on the situation will only cause you to spend more and more time thinking about it (duh!). My advice is that there are other girls in your school right? So act confident and talk to one of them outside their social structure. The "cliques" in school can be ferocious, so it is best to meet people outside of these constructs. Possibly an even better place is at a local mall (assuming you are too young for other social hangouts).

Keep your chin up dude and listen to what these people on here have to say. My advice is neither wrong nor right, because it is all relative. Think relativity...

[Lucinda]

Since I am a girl, I suppose that makes me an expert. Poor, poor PrudensOptimus. You have a very good intuitive sense. You should tap into that. From your very first post you said a couple of things that piqued my interest.

1) You haven't spoken to her much b/c of academic pursuits.
2) You think she is trying to make you jealous.

The first is easily rectified...ahem, by talking to her. :surprise: No more playing games. I know you're in 9th grade or something, but if you want something you should go and get it. Not forcibly of course. I mean ask her out. Just walk up to her and say, "hey, wanna go see a movie with me on friday"? worse thing she can say is no. and then you must believe in your heart that it was her loss not to go out with a great, smart guy like you. ;-) But i doubt she'll say no. It never gets any easier, so you might as well start practicing asking out girls now. Never play games, tease or such. I know, I am a girl. If you know what you want out of life, it doesn't come to you on a plate, you have to go out and get it.

Second, the first rule of fight club....oh sorry. just a sec...the first rule of young romantic interest is to make the one you're interested in jealous. she obviously likes you. unfortunately, she's playing a game. you even said yourself, "you have a weird feeling". That's your intuition, trust it. Now it's your turn to make a move. I think you have been given more than enough clues. For heaven's sake, someone told you boldfacely that she likes you! what more do you want? her served on a plate? go get her tiger. :) :wink:

[Lucinda]

nevermind...six freakin' months later! you must be fudgin' kidding me man. hopefully by now you've learned how to ask a lady out. good luck with your love life Prudens. Sounds like so much fun. :tongue2:

[Chrono]

I shan't let this thread die!! Not while I have things to tell y'all.

[jimmy p]

Okey dokey I'm interested again. Tell all.

[Chrono]

Okey dokey I'm interested again. Tell all.

And it's good stuff, too. Not the kind of stuff I brought to you earlier.

[Dimitri Terryn]

Well, don't leave us in suspence then. Out with it man! :smile:

[Chrono]

All right, all right. I'll give y'all the abridged version.

There's this girl in class that I've been just talking to for a while. Well, during that she would give me hugs before and after class. Well, after a while the hugs got more frequent and longer. Fast forward to last week and I was walking her to her car and just before we parted she kissed me on my cheek. I totally wasn't expecting that. The next time I saw her, I walked her to her car and I kissed her on the lips.

That's basically it, guys. Be proud of me, because I know I am. :approve:

[Evo]

All right, all right. I'll give y'all the abridged version.

There's this girl in class that I've been just talking to for a while. Well, during that she would give me hugs before and after class. Well, after a while the hugs got more frequent and longer. Fast forward to last week and I was walking her to her car and just before we parted she kissed me on my cheek. I totally wasn't expecting that. The next time I saw her, I walked her to her car and I kissed her on the lips.

That's basically it, guys. Be proud of me, because I know I am. :approve:This one is available? If so, I am VERY proud of you!! :biggrin:

[Gokul43201]

Hmmm...I see there's been some sleight of hand at work here.

Could it be the ever vigilant Evo ? :bugeye:

[Chrono]

This one is available? If so, I am VERY proud of you!! :biggrin:

She is available. Very much, indeed.

[Hurkyl]

She is available. Very much, indeed.

Sigh, went sour that fast, eh? :devil:

[Evo]

Hmmm...I see there's been some sleight of hand at work here.

Could it be the ever vigilant Evo ? :bugeye:Yep, I cannot tell a lie. :tongue2:

[Monique]

You know, when you read evo! backwards.. you get !ove.. isn't that just freaky? :bugeye:

I think that big bushy tail is where evo hides her arrows :wink:

[motai]

You know, when you read evo! backwards.. you get !ove.. isn't that just freaky? :bugeye:

An implication of things to come?

[Dimitri Terryn]

You know, when you read evo! backwards.. you get !ove.. isn't that just freaky? :bugeye:


I knew that she was a lovely woman. That she IS love is new to me, although it does not come as shock...

And Chrono, cheers to you. I think it is time you had some luck with a relationship. Try and make the most of it.

[Monique]

Evo sure is a lovely lady :approve:

[Evo]

Evo<---------feeling the !ove. You guys are making me blush. :blush:

Monique you're not only gorgeous, but you are brilliant and have a great personality!!!

Ok, group hug, me, Monique, Tsu & MIH, with Dimitri in the middle. :tongue2:

[Monique]

Evo<---------feeling the !ove. You guys are making me blush. :blush:

Monique you're not only gorgeous, but you are brilliant and have a great personality!!!

Ok, group hug, me, Monique, Tsu & MIH, with Dimitri in the middle. :tongue2:And we meant it! :)

:blush: *joins the group hug* :approve: :biggrin:

[Gokul43201]

Lucky Dim :wink:

[Math Is Hard]

(( Joins hug ))

there's just so much love here.

[Chrono]

Sigh, went sour that fast, eh? :devil:

I meant, she's available for me.

And Chrono, cheers to you. I think it is time you had some luck with a relationship. Try and make the most of it.

Thanks a lot! I will do my best with this one.

Evo and Dimitri are the only one's congratulating me, here? I thought I built up more pity than that. :rolleyes:

[Gokul43201]

You sure did. All the best Chrono !

Have a good time. Be true to yourself and her.

[Chrono]

You sure did. All the best Chrono !

Have a good time. Be true to yourself and her.

Thank you!

[jimmy p]

I would congratulate you but I'm wallowing in my own self pity... ah well, I can take a little time out from that overloaded schedule... CONGRATS MAN!!! :biggrin: hope it works out well!!

[Chrono]

I would congratulate you but I'm wallowing in my own self pity... ah well, I can take a little time out from that overloaded schedule... CONGRATS MAN!!! :biggrin: hope it works out well!!

Thanks, Jimmy. You were one of the people that's been with me through the other trial and errors.

[Tsu]

And we meant it! :)

:blush: *joins the group hug* :approve: :biggrin:
WAIT FOR MEEEE!!!!! :biggrin: *wiggles into group hug* Ahhh...this is very nice. :smile:

[Dimitri Terryn]

Ok, group hug, me, Monique, Tsu & MIH, with Dimitri in the middle. :tongue2:

This is a wonderful way to start your day :shy:

[Tsu]

InDEED!!! :smile:

[BoulderHead]

I skimmed over the past several pages, not taking time to read anything, and noticed PrudensOptimus had not posted. So tell me, has this topic actually been able to assist in any romantic pursuits, or not?

[edit]
Oh yes, just wanted to add that if all else has failed for Prudens he might want to review that thread dealing with toe licking. :rofl:

[Chrono]

So tell me, has this topic actually been able to assist in any romantic pursuits, or not?

They helped me out quite a bit.

[Tsu]

I skimmed over the past several pages, not taking time to read anything, and noticed PrudensOptimus had not posted. So tell me, has this topic actually been able to assist in any romantic pursuits, or not?

[edit]
Oh yes, just wanted to add that if all else has failed for Prudens he might want to review that thread dealing with toe licking. :rofl:
My guess is Prudens finally got himself a girl. That's why he doesn't spend much time here anymore. :surprise:

[BoulderHead]

My guess is Prudens finally got himself a girl. That's why he doesn't spend much time here anymore. :surprise:
Hmm, thanks for clueing me in on that, Tsunami. It's heartwarming to hear of these successes! :devil: :biggrin:

[Tsu]

Yes, the successess are what it's all about!! I'm really glad Chrono found himself an AVAILABLE girl! :wink: :biggrin: How's it goin' with her, Chrono?

[franznietzsche]

I'm guilty of not following my own advice...i found an available girl, of course she was only available after she left her boyfriend. I feel kinda bad about that...so i'm confessing.

[Chrono]

How's it goin' with her, Chrono?

With her, it's going quite well. With a friend of ours, not so good.

[jimmy p]

With her, it's going quite well. With a friend of ours, not so good.

How come, what's the beef?

[Zantra]

OK after 48+ pages everyone here must be englightned about girls.

If men are the logical ones, why is it that we are the ones who get blamed for everything?


Wait.. nm... I think I just answered my own question :rofl:

[BoulderHead]

Yes, the successess are what it's all about!! I'm really glad Chrono found himself an AVAILABLE girl! :wink: :biggrin:
:biggrin: An 'interesting' choice of words, I thought too.

[Chrono]

How come, what's the beef?

Actually, I misunderstood what had happend. There's no beef at all, so no need to worry.

Sorry for the long wait, guys, but where I was there wasn't much of a way for me to get on. Things are still going good with me and her, so no need to ask about that.

[Gokul43201]

The gooder it is, the lesser they talk. Just a truism, not a complaint ! :biggrin:

[Moonbear]

Chrono, yippee, hooray! I just got back to this thread after not reading a while. I'm so happy to hear you found a woman who is available for you! See, when a woman is interested, she sends very unambiguous signals, no playing hard-to-get. Hugs and kisses are pretty easy to interpret. And in case you guys haven't noticed yet, you may think you're asking the women on the dates, but women really are the ones who initiate the relationships. You wouldn't ask them unless they already gave you those, "it's okay to ask me out" signals (though if you're getting turned down for dates often, that could be the problem, you didn't wait for the green light to do the asking).

Anyway, woo hoo! It's always good to hear when Cupid strikes!

[Andy]

Bottom line is if your struggling to find the right girl settle for the next best thing. (next best thing being the first one that comes along.)

[somy]

my god!!!
what a stupid problem!!!

[jimmy p]

Bottom line is if your struggling to find the right girl settle for the next best thing. (next best thing being the first one that comes along.)

Yeah... like that works :rolleyes:

[The Bob]

Bottom line is if your struggling to find the right girl settle for the next best thing. (next best thing being the first one that comes along.)

No, be patient. I was for 8 months and now I go out with the perfect gals for me. Just wait. Mind you.... some of you are animals. :biggrin:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[jimmy p]

LOL Andy has a girlfriend so he doesnt need to worry. Woah 8 months??? We are relationship-twins. I have been single for 8 months too... and it could be much longer :frown: :cry:

[The Bob]

LOL Andy has a girlfriend so he doesnt need to worry. Woah 8 months??? We are relationship-twins. I have been single for 8 months too... and it could be much longer :frown: :cry:

Like I said I waited to go out with her for 8 months. Be patient mate. That is ll it needs. Find who you like and get to know them. That is how I started. My girlfriend had only liked me for 3 of the 8 months I had liked her :eek: :surprise: So it may take time for a difference to show but keep at it. Oh and, if like mine, she likes you a lot, she will ask you out and then you are sure. :wink:

Remember to have a good long talk about what each other wants as well because I did that for 3 hours with her and we are now closer than ever. Actually, so close it hurts to be away from her.

Oh and when that talk is over, get in and do what you want, but lovingly. :tongue2: :biggrin: No seriously, make it last with a kiss or something. That is what they want after a nice comment about them or they give you one and you kiss them. They feel a lot better. Don't let the moment pass.

This is what I have found with my girlfriend, who is so sweet and lovely and caring. Oh you made me think of her now. I am going to be in pain for ages now. Oh never mind. I will have to learn to deal with it.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Monique]

That sounds like an expert talking :wink:

[The Bob]

That sounds like an expert talking :wink:

Well it works for me and my girlfriend. We just get closer and closer by the day with it. Any agruments we have pass in 5 minutes. She even told me she can't stay mad at me and it is unfair. I love her to pieces.

As for the expertise ........ well it is just who I am. I have and will continue to act as I always have and be who I am, which is another good point to be added to my point above. Be yourself because it is harder to be someone you are not. I have found females like you for who you are not what they want you to be. Honest. Strange but that is life. :biggrin:

Thanks for the compliment Monique. :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Chrono]

Be yourself because it is harder to be someone you are not. I have found females like you for who you are not what they want you to be.

How true that is.

[jimmy p]

:tongue2: The girl I like is two years older than me and interested in someone else. Lol.

[Gokul43201]

jimmy, you have 2 paths in front of you.

One is the path of the wise, and is described by The Bob.

The other is the easy path : you 'become' (i) 2 years older than you, and (ii) someone else.

Now choose wisely...

[The Bob]

jimmy, you have 2 paths in front of you.

One is the path of the wise, and is described by The Bob.

Well atleast my advice is being used, which makes a change.

The other is the easy path : you 'become' (i) 2 years older than you, and (ii) someone else.

Now choose wisely...

Ahh. Very good. I hadn't thought of that. :biggrin:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[jimmy p]

THAT'S IT!!! I'll become two years older!! You're a genius Gokul! *slaps forehead* why didnt I think of that??

AGE!!!! AGE!!!! AGE!!!!

[The Bob]

THAT'S IT!!! I'll become two years older!! You're a genius Gokul! *slaps forehead* why didnt I think of that??

AGE!!!! AGE!!!! AGE!!!!

I thought the same think.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Monique]

Thanks for the compliment Monique. :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:

The Bob (2004 ©) You deserve the compliment: you sound exactly like the sweetest nicest cutest handsomest person that waited 6 months to walk into my life but has been living just around the corner :biggrin:

patience makes hungry :wink: don't be too patient though :rolleyes:

[Gokul43201]

Have all you guys out there noticed the sublest of hints being thrown out by Monique, lately. :wink:

Monique, seems like you've recently found someone nice - Congrats !! :smile:

[Chrono]

Have all you guys out there noticed the sublest of hints being thrown out by Monique, lately. :wink:

I noticed some of that myself. Good going Monique! :biggrin:

[Evo]

The only thing living around the corner from me are horses. :frown:

It does sound like Monique's found someone. :approve:

[The Bob]

You deserve the compliment: you sound exactly like the sweetest nicest cutest handsomest person that waited 6 months to walk into my life but has been living just around the corner :biggrin:

patience makes hungry :wink: don't be too patient though :rolleyes:

That is a mouthful to say. :biggrin:

And I suppose waiting too long bad. It makes your stomach hurt and groan for whoever you are after. Not to put a point on things here though.

The Bob (2004 ©)

P.S. Do you have someone special now Monique? :wink:

[LENIN]

Another clasical problem for this thred (I don't have the will to read the whole thred for potential answers :tongue2: ).

I like this girl for more than 2 years now but I am afreid to ask her out. By the way I have never been on a date before and I don't really know how to ask her out. Any ideas other than the usual beyourself.

[Evo]

Do you go places with her now with a group of friends? If not, what is your relationship with her now? (when do you see her, friends in common, etc..)

[LENIN]

We are are in the same class, and I called her a few times during this summer.

[Evo]

If she seems to like you, I think you should ask her out.

Would it be possible to go out with her and a couple of your/her other friends? It might be easier than asking her out alone. You could mention to her that you and a couple of your friends (this should include females) are going out and would she like to join.

[jimmy p]

I have a kitten staring at me lovingly over the top of my laptop. That doesnt fit in but it is nice to be adored by something :tongue2: Update with this 21 year old... apparently her mum thinks we would make a wonderful couple. I didnt ask or anything, she just said it randomly today. w00t!

[Evo]

Chopnik, I'm so glad that something is going right for you. Don't forget, your PF mom, aunt, alien uncle & aunt MIH all love you!!! :approve:

[Monique]

P.S. Do you have someone special now Monique? :wink:*quietly nods* :approve:

[Hurkyl]

Now you're quiet? :tongue:

[check]

I have a kitten staring at me lovingly over the top of my laptop. That doesnt fit in but it is nice to be adored by something :tongue2: Update with this 21 year old... apparently her mum thinks we would make a wonderful couple. I didnt ask or anything, she just said it randomly today. w00t!

What is it with all these 19 year old guys dating 21 year old girls? Where's mine? AH!!!

[Chrono]

What is it with all these 19 year old guys dating 21 year old girls? Where's mine? AH!!!

My girl's 16.

[The Bob]

*quietly nods* :approve: :surprise: :biggrin:

Awwwww. That is really good. Have you known him long??? What is he like??? Who asked who??? etc.......... :biggrin:

The Bob (2004 ©)

P.S. If anyone can tell me why I am asking female question then please let me know.

[The Bob]

My girl's 16.

And how old are you???

The Bob (2004 ©)

P.S. Mine is 15.

[LENIN]

Thanks Evo I may just try that.

[amwbonfire]

Hi everyone!

I started reading this thread last night (It's been here a while... almost a year...) and I'm only up to page 14. I don't really have the time to read it all, but I'm getting very curious. What ever happened with the incredibly shy (and VERY clueless) PrudensOptimus? Was he too shy to ask her out, or did he finally do it?

Thanks!

Oh, and Lenin, THANKYOU for deciding to ask out your crush. At least you have some guts... and it only took you about half a page of this thread to do it. Good on ya! :biggrin:

Andrew Wells
AMW Bonfire :smile:

[Chrono]

And how old are you???

I just turned 20 in June.

[Evo]

I just turned 20 in June.I guess I don't have to tell you to be careful?

[Gokul43201]

I think you just did ! :wink:

[The Bob]

I just turned 20 in June.

Tut Tut. Mind you, my friend's parents are 9 years apart in age. No problems there. Still be careful you are not seen as a pedofial. Not saying you are but people may think it. I think people think it of me because my girlfriend is really short compared to me and so it looks like a father and daughter fling. Not nice when people ask. :biggrin:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Chrono]

Whoa! I thought y'all were going to go crazy about that. I know what not to do so don't worry about that. Pretty much everybody I've talked to about this has said that it was all right and I don't see anything wrong with it.

[amwbonfire]

Wow!

It seems after 53 pages no one wants to post anymore.

:(

[jimmy p]

Whoa! I thought y'all were going to go crazy about that. I know what not to do so don't worry about that. Pretty much everybody I've talked to about this has said that it was all right and I don't see anything wrong with it.


Lots of people around our age go for younger girls... well actually, more to the point, younger girls are attracted to older men due to money/car or whatever.

[amwbonfire]

Ahh, a bit of irony...

I'd only just discovered this post a few days ago (even though it's been here since last year). I started reading from the very first page, and so many times I had things I really wanted to say (but of course it was too late). I kept reading, getting up to date, and I started getting excited when I got the the 30th page... I kept reading, and now I'm up to date! I can finally reply to things people say!

AND THEN YOU ALL STOP POSTING!!! AHHHHH!!! :cry: :eek:

Irony is horrible. :tongue2:

This topic can't die! It's big, and big things should NEVER die.

Keep posting people!


And Chrono, she's only about 4 fifths of your age. Not that it matters in the least... I just thought I'd work it out.

More statistics: You've spent an estimated 94,608,000 seconds on Earth longer than she has... of course, that's assuming neither of you have visited out of space. Have you? :confused:


:cry: :cry: :cry: I'll be very sad if this topic dies.

[The Bob]

Ahh, a bit of irony...

Don't worry, it won't die. Ironic, yes, dieing, no. :biggrin:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Chrono]

Lots of people around our age go for younger girls... well actually, more to the point, younger girls are attracted to older men due to money/car or whatever.

So you're saying not to worry about it?

[The Bob]

So you're saying not to worry about it?

Look don't worry about. I mean what is the age difference??? 5 years, 6 years???? That is nothing really. How old is 'she'??

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Chrono]

Look don't worry about. I mean what is the age difference??? 5 years, 6 years???? That is nothing really. How old is 'she'??


The difference is four years. She is 16.

[Moonbear]

Monique, that's so good to hear you found somebody...or somebody found you...whichever way that worked :smile: No wonder you got so quiet lately :wink:

Chrono, right now, that's a big age difference, but in a few years, it won't seem like much at all. Take it really slow...she's still in that jail bait category. In two more years, you can finally breathe a sigh of relief if it lasts that long and know that you're not in danger if her parents suddenly take a dislike to you.

[amwbonfire]

Chrono, think of it like this: You like her, she likes you. What else matters? :smile:

[The Bob]

Chrono, think of it like this: You like her, she likes you. What else matters? :smile:

I have been kind of saying that but still be careful. I need to be and me and my girlfriend are only a year apart in ages. With me it is the height difference that is the problem. It makes her, from a distance, look like a child of 9 or something young like that. :rofl:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[jimmy p]

Actually if he were in England, she would be legal.

[Chrono]

Chrono, right now, that's a big age difference, but in a few years, it won't seem like much at all. Take it really slow...she's still in that jail bait category. In two more years, you can finally breathe a sigh of relief if it lasts that long and know that you're not in danger if her parents suddenly take a dislike to you.

I hear you and I've been doing just that. Probably going too slow, in fact. I really don't foresee anything more than just dating.


Chrono, think of it like this: You like her, she likes you. What else matters?]

I like your way of thinking here.

[jimmy p]

Tis always the way you should think. People can give advice but it is ultimately your decision to make, and if you are happy, then it is the right decision.

[devil-fire]

women are the devil :bugeye: :devil: , keep the eyes open for the signs! :surprise:

im half kidding of course. i agree with what other people are saying, take it slow and let her move things to the next level due to the age difference

[Chrono]

I agree with what other people are saying, take it slow and let her move things to the next level due to the age difference

I shall do just that. Y'all help me out more with girls than you do with physics or math.

[amwbonfire]

BUMP!!

bumpy

[Chrono]

Why won't this thread die?!?! Oh, yeah, it's because of me. Man, I tell you, I think I just have the worst luck when it comes to girls. Most of y'all already know about my previous experience.

Evo, you mentioned that she was single, and she was. Until recently.

Ok, I'll fill ya'll in with this. I felt I had to start getting brave with her and last Wednesday I had asked her out for this Friday. Well, when I asked her she replied, "We'll see." I thought it was a sufficient answer, considering she had to ask her parents. How wrong was I. I asked her today what the news was on it and she told me what I never expected her to say. She said that she has a boyfriend. :surprised

[Evo]

Ok, I'll fill ya'll in with this. I felt I had to start getting brave with her and last Wednesday I had asked her out for this Friday. Well, when I asked her she replied, "We'll see." I thought it was a sufficient answer, considering she had to ask her parents. How wrong was I. I asked her today what the news was on it and she told me what I never expected her to say. She said that she has a boyfriend. :surprisedThe new one has a boyfriend?

[Chrono]

The new one has a boyfriend?

So it seems. I really have no idea what in the world happend. Just three weeks ago she was wanting a kiss before she left. I should have realized something was wrong when last week she wasn't into to me last she has been.

[Moonbear]

Oh, poor Chrono! Seems Cupid has an awful lot of bent arrows he's using on you! Just consider it all practice for when the right woman comes along. Maybe you need to start handing them a questionnaire when you meet them,

"Question #1: Do you have a boyfriend?
Question #2: Are you sure you don't have a boyfriend?
Question #3: Do you plan on getting a boyfriend anytime soon?
Question #4: Is this boyfriend someone other than Chrono?"

That should cover it. I swear, there are nice women out there. You'll find one of them eventually, you just have to!

[The Bob]

I swear, there are nice women out there. You'll find one of them eventually, you just have to!

I found mine. I love her to pieces. Anyway just keep on trying Chrono, you will pick one that is simgle one day. :smile:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[amwbonfire]

This thread isn't dead! :biggrin:

I found mine. I love her to pieces. Anyway just keep on trying Chrono, you will pick one that is simgle one day. :smile:

:biggrin: *Smiles knowingly*

Chrono, I thought you said she liked you? Girls can be strange... just keep on trucking. You'll find the right one when you're not looking, and when you least expect it. :wink:

[The Bob]

Chrono, I thought you said she liked you? Girls can be strange... just keep on trucking. You'll find the right one when you're not looking, and when you least expect it. :wink:

Oh man, I was the complete opposite. I knew I wanted my girl when I first saw here and, as it turns out, so did she. We just waited 11 months before admitting it to each other. :rofl: I dunno what I was thinking.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[amwbonfire]

We just waited 11 months before admitting it to each other. :rofl: I dunno what I was thinking.

I know the feeling. 11 months is short in comparison... :tongue2:

[The Bob]

I know the feeling. 11 months is short in comparison... :tongue2:

In comparison to what??? :rolleyes:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[amwbonfire]

Umm... not telling! :blushing: :shy:

[The Bob]

Umm... not telling! :blushing: :shy:

Oh go on man.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Chrono]

Oh, poor Chrono! Seems Cupid has an awful lot of bent arrows he's using on you! Just consider it all practice for when the right woman comes along. Maybe you need to start handing them a questionnaire when you meet them,

"Question #1: Do you have a boyfriend?
Question #2: Are you sure you don't have a boyfriend?
Question #3: Do you plan on getting a boyfriend anytime soon?
Question #4: Is this boyfriend someone other than Chrono?"


I'm just considering it all a learning experience. Lesson learned: Ask a girl out while she's into you and not after. Good idea for the questionnaire, though.

Amwbonfire, she did like me...for a while. I should have known something was up when she didn't seem to want to hug me as much as she did previoiusly.

[amwbonfire]

Oh go on man.

Oh, I'm sure no one wants to hear my boring story.

(Is the reverse psychology working?) :shy:

[The Bob]

(Is the reverse psychology working?) :shy:

No. :mad: Hehe. Go on. :smile:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[CollectiveRocker]

Tell me about it. Just this past week, I asked a girl out for coffee, and she said that she would think about it. However, on the same day, another girl asked me out like as a boyfriend/girlfriend kinda thing. I really didn't know what to say. I really like the first girl i asked. As for the second girl, I like her as a friend right now, nothing else. Yet I really don't want to hurt her feelings? Do I keep on pursuing this other relationship with the first girl, or do i accept the second girl's offer and begin dating her seriously?

[jimmy p]

'Tis a toughy you collective rocker you. I'm not sure. Ask the audience.

[amwbonfire]

What do you want to know? My story is similar to yours, Bob. :smile:

[Moonbear]

Tell me about it. Just this past week, I asked a girl out for coffee, and she said that she would think about it. However, on the same day, another girl asked me out like as a boyfriend/girlfriend kinda thing. I really didn't know what to say. I really like the first girl i asked. As for the second girl, I like her as a friend right now, nothing else. Yet I really don't want to hurt her feelings? Do I keep on pursuing this other relationship with the first girl, or do i accept the second girl's offer and begin dating her seriously?

Survey says...
Go for the second one, the one who asked you out. If the first one had to "think about" getting coffee with you, she isn't interested. And you don't have to date the second one "seriously," just date her. You never know if you'll like it until you try it. Unless you're already seeing someone else, never turn down an opportunity for a date. Sometimes they can really be bad, but sometimes you can be surprised and have a great time...it's always worth a try! If you don't enjoy yourself, then don't go on a second date.

[The Bob]

What do you want to know? My story is similar to yours, Bob. :smile:

Well start from the top and work to where you are now. :biggrin:

Tell me about it. Just this past week, I asked a girl out for coffee, and she said that she would think about it. However, on the same day, another girl asked me out like as a boyfriend/girlfriend kinda thing. I really didn't know what to say. I really like the first girl i asked. As for the second girl, I like her as a friend right now, nothing else. Yet I really don't want to hurt her feelings? Do I keep on pursuing this other relationship with the first girl, or do i accept the second girl's offer and begin dating her seriously?

I had a similar situation. I went out with a person I didn't really like because I wa being nice to her and comforting her and it turned into a osrt of relationship. She, to this day, still likes me, well apparently she is besotted with me but I now go out with who I wanted to.

So I would say don't go out with someone you don't like, because otherwise you will get caught in something and you won't really get out of it without an awful lot of hurt. Go with your feelings and not what you feel is best for everyone. You can't please everyone all the time.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[j8hart]

Your asking for advice about your love life on the Physics Forum! Boy do you need help :rofl: !

Seriously though, here are my comments for what it's worth.

1. Get her laughing. Probably *not* by playing the clown. From the evidence, she likes you, and your inteligence is probably part of the atraction, so try a few inteligent jokes in her vicinity.

2. Try talking to her inteligently, on a subject that might interest her, change the subject if she looks at all bored, until you find something where she starts to contribute, then *listen*.

3. If you apear to be hitting it off, suggest a fun activity (go for fun first, brain strain is usually a bad idea for a first "date"). Unless you are certain she wants to be alone with you it's best to pick someting that other people she knows are going to as well first time. If the first time works well, suggest an activity for just the two of you for a second "date".

4. Don't try and second guess what is in her head. And if you must, keep you guesses to yourself, don't mention what you think she is thinking to anyone who knows her.

Keep it light and fun to begin with. If she enjoys the time she spends in your company she will come back for more.

If you find out she is not interested, as has been said already, move on as quickly and as painlessly as possible. Do not torture her or yourself, it's not worth it.

Finnal piece of advice is for much, much later. Do not mention this in front of a woman you are interested in, it is counter productive. But an interest in Physics can actually make you great in bed. This is because sex is a science as well as an art form. And if you can't conduct experiments in a scientific area for what ever reason then you study the theory. So read up on the subject, and make sure you read the best books, most literature on the subject is designed to turn men on and will not tell you what women want.

Appealing to her sense of humour might just get her into your bed.

Great sex is the thing that is most likely to keep her there.

Good Luck!

Jonathan

[The Bob]

Is all that men want is sex??? I can't, and I am male, imagine that.

Never mind. My mind.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Chrono]

Your asking for advice about your love life on the Physics Forum! Boy do you need help :rofl: !


Sounds weird, I know, but the good folks here give great advice. I should know.

[jimmy p]

1. Get her laughing. Probably *not* by playing the clown. From the evidence, she likes you, and your inteligence is probably part of the atraction, so try a few inteligent jokes in her vicinity.





BUGGER! :mad: :mad:

[amwbonfire]

Is all that men want is sex??? I can't, and I am male, imagine that.

Never mind. My mind.

I agree with you Bob. Love's more important (or maybe just as important... I don't know until I try sex... :tongue2:

Sometimes just being with the person you care about's the most important thing in the world. :shy:

[Tom McCurdy]

As they say in SNL

Sex can wait
Masterbate

[Sephiroth]

Hi everyone!
I have been following this thread for quite a while...checking up on it everytime i get the PF newsletter. I must say i have learnt alot...hope it will help me in my dating future. Lol might post my story sometime...if i get time. Lol just for a bit of quick history about myself...i am 17 and have never had a gf...or even kissed a girl lol. I really am way too shy for my own good! anyway ill catch up with you all later.

[Evo]

Welcome Sephiroth!!!

Sounds like you will fit right in! :smile:

[BoulderHead]

My advice to Sephiroth is to take a date out to a very fine restaurant and encourage her to wear a low-cut evening gown (use some formal function as a good excuse). You just never know what might develop.

[musky_ox]

What is chroots problem? :rofl: He tries talking about complex physics on his first date and scares them all way? :rolleyes:

[Evo]

What is chroots problem? :rofl: He tries talking about complex physics on his first date and scares them all way? :rolleyes:What are you refering to? chroot never posted anything like that.

[Sephiroth]

Welcome Sephiroth!!!

Sounds like you will fit right in! :smile:
Lol sounds like it...

My advice to Sephiroth is to take a date out to a very fine restaurant and encourage her to wear a low-cut evening gown (use some formal function as a good excuse). You just never know what might develop.

Lol i like the idea of a nice restaurant...not too sure what you logic concerning the dress is lol. Somehow i dont think it would be too appropriate to "encourage her to wear a low-cut evening gown" on a first date. well thats my opinion anyway lol. Oh and i just thought id pre-warn you i use lol way too much.

[BoulderHead]

Lol sounds like it...



Lol i like the idea of a nice restaurant...not too sure what you logic concerning the dress is lol. Somehow i dont think it would be too appropriate to "encourage her to wear a low-cut evening gown" on a first date. well thats my opinion anyway lol. Oh and i just thought id pre-warn you i use lol way too much.
Perhaps Evo will explain. :tongue:
(inside joke)

[Evo]

Perhaps Evo will explain. :tongue:
(inside joke)He's too young. Sephiroth, if you go out with a girl with a low cut dress, bring duct tape, she will be forever grateful. :biggrin:

[Sephiroth]

He's too young. Sephiroth, if you go out with a girl with a low cut dress, bring duct tape, she will be forever grateful. :biggrin:
lol ill keep that in mind :tongue2:

gee you guys reply quick lol. :smile:

[BoulderHead]

gee you guys reply quick lol. :smile:
We aim to please.

[The Bob]

Sometimes just being with the person you care about's the most important thing in the world. :shy:

Exactly! :smile:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[The Bob]

He's too young. Sephiroth, if you go out with a girl with a low cut dress, bring duct tape, she will be forever grateful. :biggrin:

Are you going to explin this one or am I too young??? :smile:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[amwbonfire]

Yes, explain it! Whisper it to me and I won't tell Bob.

*Giggles* Sneaky! :tongue:

Andy
AMW Bonfire :rolleyes:

[amwbonfire]

I tried to write down some of my long past, but bugger it, my story is too long, too complex and too emotion-filled to tell. I'd rather leave it for another day.

Sorry Bob...

[BoulderHead]

I tried to write down some of my long past, but bugger it, my story is too long, too complex and too emotion-filled to tell. I'd rather leave it for another day.

Sorry Bob...
Please try to be as concise as possible. If your fifteen minutes of fame should expire you’ll have to start all over again at the end of the line. :tongue:

[amwbonfire]

Please try to be as concise as possible. If your fifteen minutes of fame should expire you’ll have to start all over again at the end of the line. :tongue:

Good point.

Well, it all started 5 years ago...

No seriously, I'll post tomorrow. It's 10:00 here, and I want to go to bed.

[musky_ox]

Just be thankful you don't have Chroot's problem...

:surprised

[Chrono]

I am 17 and have never had a gf...or even kissed a girl lol. I really am way too shy for my own good! anyway ill catch up with you all later.

You sound a lot like me. I'm 20, never had a girlfriend, and just had my first kiss a month ago. And I lost her because I was too late to ask her out.

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

You sound a lot like me. I'm 20, never had a girlfriend, and just had my first kiss a month ago. And I lost her because I was too late to ask her out.
i was 18 when i had my first kiss, i lost many girls before that cuz i was too much of a chicken ****, and i still am, and i'm turning 19

[amwbonfire]

Hi everyone!

And so begins my tale. I'll keep it really short, for 2 reasons. First of all, there's a hell of a lot I could write about. Secondly, I'm shy. :shy:

Where to start... perhaps the beginning?

I've known this girl for ages now, about 8 years. We've always been close, always been good friends. But only ever that, until... well until about 4 years ago. I started liking her more and more, but I had NO self confidence at all. I was so sure that she was way to good for me and would never consider me as anything but a friend. Luckily, I was wrong... It seemed we both suffered terribly from lack of confidence. We started talking more and more, and over the course of about half a year we started to learn more and more things about each other. One day we were talking about who we liked, dropping hints about who they were but not really saying who. Of course we liked each other, but we were a bit too shy to admit it to each other. (god we were so shy back then, it was really cute :shy: ) It was torture, until a few days later I decided to just go for it, and I told her it was her I liked. I was so sure she didn't feel the same I nearly had a heart attack when she said she liked me. :bugeye:

From there things developed over the course of a few years. We've had our ups and down (more than I can count). We've broken up and gotten back together twice now. And our feelings have become stronger and stronger as time goes on. I love her "to bits", as Bob puts it. :smile: She is my life, she makes it all worthwhile. And the best thing about it is she feels the same about me.

There's lots more I can say, but I never realised I'd actually say this much. Reading this thread explained a few things I never realised before. Maybe writing some of this could help someone else?

:shy: :biggrin:


There you go Bob! I wrote some of it down! :approve:

[amwbonfire]

i was 18 when i had my first kiss, i lost many girls before that cuz i was too much of a chicken ****, and i still am, and i'm turning 19

Don't worry. Every man in the world gets shy/nervous around girls. And girls, even though they can hide it well, get just as nervous around us. Maybe more.

[The Bob]

There you go Bob! I wrote some of it down! :approve:

Cheers Andy. It happened the same with me and my girl. We were too shy for 11 months. Finally, she asked me, with the help of one of her friends, and it has been great since then.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[The Bob]

You sound a lot like me. I'm 20, never had a girlfriend, and just had my first kiss a month ago. And I lost her because I was too late to ask her out.

Man, everyone, don't worry about it. I imagined being 24+ before I got the nerve to ask anyone out, let alone kissing. But here I am, 16, and I have kissed. 8 years before I thought. It is just what happens. :smile:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Chrono]

Man, everyone, don't worry about it. I imagined being 24+ before I got the nerve to ask anyone out, let alone kissing. But here I am, 16, and I have kissed. 8 years before I thought. It is just what happens. :smile:


I figured I'd be 30 before I'd have my first date. :rolleyes:

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

Don't worry. Every man in the world gets shy/nervous around girls. And girls, even though they can hide it well, get just as nervous around us. Maybe more.
oh i believe you

[amwbonfire]

I figured I'd be 30 before I'd have my first date. :rolleyes:

I didn't think I'd ever date. I never, ever believed anyone would want to spend anytime with me.

Why was/is our self-esteem so low? :uhh:


Finally, she asked me, with the help of one of her friends, and it has been great since then.

What, did she say something like, "Joan? Can you ask Bob out for me?"

I'm not teasing. I'll admit, it's what we sorta did too :blushing: She told one of her friends that she liked me. Her friend also happened to be my friend, who I had told who I liked to. So this friend knew we both liked each other, but never told either of us... she wanted us to ask each other out by ourselves...

Some help would have been nice though... :rolleyes:

[amwbonfire]

Man, everyone, don't worry about it. I imagined being 24+ before I got the nerve to ask anyone out, let alone kissing. But here I am, 16, and I have kissed. 8 years before I thought. It is just what happens. :smile:

Life never turns out how you think it will, or how you plan it to. :approve:

It's crazy. :rolleyes:

[The Bob]

I figured I'd be 30 before I'd have my first date. :rolleyes:

The feeling is mutual.

Life never turns out how you think it will, or how you plan it to. :approve:

It's crazy. :rolleyes:

I know. It worries me now and again.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[amwbonfire]

I know. It worries me now and again.


Aww, you've got to let life take you by the hand. Sure, you have your ups and downs, but what would happiness be if it weren't balanced by sadness?

Though I agree, life can be scary and unpredictable. It's nice to have someone to share it with... :biggrin:

[The Bob]

Aww, you've got to let life take you by the hand. Sure, you have your ups and downs, but what would happiness be if it weren't balanced by sadness?

Though I agree, life can be scary and unpredictable. It's nice to have someone to share it with... :biggrin:

Indeed it is. :biggrin: Indeed it is. :biggrin: :biggrin:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Chrono]

Why was/is our self-esteem so low? :uhh:


I don't know, man. But, I tell you, mine is getting better. It's at least ten times better than it was a couple of years ago.

[amwbonfire]

Mine too. I used to think I was nothing, but now I realise that to someone, I'm everything. :biggrin:

[The Bob]

Mine too. I used to think I was nothing, but now I realise that to someone, I'm everything. :biggrin:

That is the same thing that has not sunk into my head yet. My girlfriend is that someone and she is to me. The problem is that I assumed the relationship would be like when you are in a younger year, e.g. you go out, see each other now and again but most of the time you spend it with your friends. That is the complete opposite. I believe she prefers to be with me than any of her friends. I must admit it is the same here but I find that strange so I need to let the fact she loves me more than she can say sink in.

Actually, I think it might just have done. :blushing: :smile:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Gza]

If you havin girl problems, I feel bad for you son...I got 99 problems but a b**** ain't one, hit me.

[The Bob]

If you havin girl problems, I feel bad for you son...I got 99 problems but a b**** ain't one, hit me.

Who are you indicating that to??? If it is me then I am not haveing girl problems. Quite the opposite. :smile:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Gza]

naw, just a random lyric from jay-z. :tongue2:

[The Bob]

naw, just a random lyric from jay-z. :tongue2:
Oh right. Sorry man. :redface: Hehe :rofl:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[amwbonfire]

That is the same thing that has not sunk into my head yet. My girlfriend is that someone and she is to me. The problem is that I assumed the relationship would be like when you are in a younger year, e.g. you go out, see each other now and again but most of the time you spend it with your friends. That is the complete opposite. I believe she prefers to be with me than any of her friends. I must admit it is the same here but I find that strange so I need to let the fact she loves me more than she can say sink in.

Actually, I think it might just have done. :blushing: :smile:

The Bob (2004 ©)

Yeah, it's sunk in for me too... sort of. Most of the time I don't believe some of the beautiful things she says about me. I believe that she feels and see those things in me (just like I see qualities in her she doesn't think she has). It's just kinda hard to see yourself the way the person who adores you does. :smile:


I believe she prefers to be with me than any of her friends.
Yeah. My girlfriend and I are best friends. It's great, because we can share everything with each other, and we know so much about each other. It's also great to have someone you love, and can also rely on to talk to whenever you need to.

Life is nice to me. :biggrin:

[Chrono]

It's just kinda hard to see yourself the way the person who adores you does. :smile:


You're your own worst critic.

[The Bob]

Yeah, it's sunk in for me too... sort of. Most of the time I don't believe some of the beautiful things she says about me. I believe that she feels and see those things in me (just like I see qualities in her she doesn't think she has). It's just kinda hard to see yourself the way the person who adores you does. :smile:

That is the reason it hasn't sunk in, because I am not used to being wanted and liked and having so many qualities in my told that I never thought I had.

Cheers Andy, my good friend. :smile:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[PrudensOptimus]

Hi everyone!

I started reading this thread last night (It's been here a while... almost a year...) and I'm only up to page 14. I don't really have the time to read it all, but I'm getting very curious. What ever happened with the incredibly shy (and VERY clueless) PrudensOptimus? Was he too shy to ask her out, or did he finally do it?

Thanks!

Oh, and Lenin, THANKYOU for deciding to ask out your crush. At least you have some guts... and it only took you about half a page of this thread to do it. Good on ya! :biggrin:

Andrew Wells
AMW Bonfire :smile:


Greetings,


I am PrudensOptimus. And thank you for supporting our thread. A little update of me:
The first girl I mentioned now resides in Houston, TX; Moved there 3 months ago.
The Polish girl... still see her every now and then across campus...
And now... a new girl into my sight... She's Korean,. a classification below me. I knew her since middle school. Just then didn't notice her cuteness, now I do lol. Have statistics with her.

More to come, keep tuned by posting.

- Tom

[Chrono]

The first girl I mentioned now resides in Houston, TX; Moved there 3 months ago.
The Polish girl... still see her every now and then across campus...
And now... a new girl into my sight... She's Korean,. a classification below me. I knew her since middle school. Just then didn't notice her cuteness, now I do lol. Have statistics with her.


Where in the world have you been?! Oh, wait, you just answered, flirting with the new girl.

I doubt you've read about my recent experience and it's probably best that you haven't or you'd just feel sorry for me. Good luck with the new girl.

[PrudensOptimus]

I read some... Sorry? Didn't you say you kissed her at car and stuff?

And no I'm not flirting. I'm 1 year older... Feel like big brother to her since we are the only two Asians around. She's half head shorter anyways :p Just that I noticed how quick she've grown :D

[Chrono]

I read some... Sorry? Didn't you say you kissed her at car and stuff?

Yeah, but that was all the good stuff. Afterwards is what you may not want to read.

[PrudensOptimus]

If you want to relief some pain, I am available on AIM PrudensOptimus

[Evo]

Hey Prudens, where have you been?

[Chrono]

Hey Prudens, where have you been?

I still say he was flirting the whole time.

[PrudensOptimus]

Hey Prudens, where have you been?
Long story. But now I'm back. Solve some math problems and talk to some old friends.

[Pyrrhus]

I was going to write a paper due next Tuesday On Friday 17th, but as i was checking the forums to help some other students figure their math and physics out [I know hard it can be when you're just a newbie at a subject] i saw this topic.. and i started reading... it was very interesting... i couldn't stop myself from reading it all with a :biggrin: on my face (in most the cases :rolleyes:), i must say.

It reminded me a lot that sometimes people give too much though to the situation and fail to realize what's actually happening. Remember, humans are complex, we don't exactly know what each other think when some event happens or how othe human being reacts to a situation, we can just guess... Of course i'm not talking about just ignore the facts, you'll be a fool if you don't analyze them, but remember as in mathematics too much assumptions won't get you to the correct answer.

Good luck all on their dating, and have a blast with dating :tongue2: :biggrin:

[catalyst55]

Don't do too many favorus for her. She proabaly knows that you like her and is exploiting you by making you do favours (though she doesnt see it that way -- she's just making her life a little easier).

Bottom line: It's not good to be too nice.

Play hard to get (though not excessively).. Flirt with her.... Smile a lot... The subtle signals probably work better than words...

Since she's hot, she knows when guys are flirting with her and probably thinks you like her more than you do (especially since you do favours for her etc).


Just be confident, calm, and collected. Perhaps ask her to do favours for you?

Cheers

[Chrono]

Bottom line: It's not good to be too nice.


I learned that the hard way.

[jimmy p]

I'm still learning that, sounds like catalyst55 has some good advice!

[allanpatrick]

i think u should make her crave u. give her a night she will never forget and the next day, act like you've never seen her before. that wil surely tick her off and try incredibly new ways to catch your attention. works everytime.Ü

[Zantra]

treat her like dirt. Ignore here.. flirt with every other girl EXCEPT her. give her backhanded compliments like "I don't care what anyone else says, your nose is beautiful" or "I think it's great that you have the confidence to keep that figure- I wish more women were as self-assured as you are".

This works more often than not-tested and proven-especially on women who are used to a lot of attention I know it sounds contradictory, but the more a woman is used to men falling at her feet, the more perplexed she'll be when you thumb your nose at her. I once had this model telling me she was "impressed that I could resist her because every guy wanted her". I actually laughed outloud when she said that, which ticked her off because at that tender age I'd never met anyone with enough guts to actually say something like that in a serious tone... but I digress..

Of course this isn't the healthy way to do things, but if you just want to grab her interest then generate something from that, it might work...

[Andy]

Just give it up and get a porn mag, your obviously never gonna get this girl.

[PrudensOptimus]

Honestly, I have already given up. I have learned many things, and through these things I have learned to live better and happier.

[BoulderHead]

You don't need happiness, Prudens, what you need is a girlfriend...

[Chrono]

Just give it up and get a porn mag, your obviously never gonna get this girl.

Thanks for the vote of confidence. :tongue:

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

You don't need happiness, Prudens, what you need is a girlfriend...
dont we all

[Andy]

Sorry but the more time you spend whining bout how you havent got a girlfriend the less likely you are to get one. Seriously, while i spent all my time on the internet i never had anyluck. Then the less time i spent online the more luck i had, which is why i am almost never online now.

[BoulderHead]

You sound like a very lucky person.

[Andy]

I consider myself lucky yea, but only because im happy.

[jimmy p]

I consider myself lucky yea, but only because im happy.


You gotta meet someone first though Andy, that is the hardest part.

[The Bob]

You gotta meet someone first though Andy, that is the hardest part.

What annoyed me about my relationship with my girlfriend is that it could be about 12 months and 3 weeks not 3 months and 3 weeks. Annoying.

Finding someone isn't hard, what is hard is finding someone who likes you as well.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[jimmy p]

What annoyed me about my relationship with my girlfriend is that it could be about 12 months and 3 weeks not 3 months and 3 weeks. Annoying.

Finding someone isn't hard, what is hard is finding someone who likes you as well.

The Bob (2004 ©)

Maybe I should rephrase that. Finding someone who is right for you. I mean if I went to town and attempted to pull some random girl, I may get satisfaction for the evening but I may have nothing in common with that girl. At the moment I'm trying to meet some girl who I can relate to or actually have a relationship with. Unfortunately I dont know many girls. :mad:

[The Bob]

Maybe I should rephrase that. Finding someone who is right for you. I mean if I went to town and attempted to pull some random girl, I may get satisfaction for the evening but I may have nothing in common with that girl. At the moment I'm trying to meet some girl who I can relate to or actually have a relationship with. Unfortunately I dont know many girls. :mad:

I see. Well it is just about waiting and hinting.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Andy]

You have to meet girls quite a few times before you can actually start to get ne idea as to whether they are right for you or not. Go out pull as many birds as possible get as many numbers as possible and then try to meet some of them again or just chat to them through txt. You cant meet a girl and realise she's the one for you in one night. Maybe you guys are looking to hard.

[Zantra]

You don't need happiness, Prudens, what you need is a girlfriend...

If only you could have both :rofl:

Something I've said in the past bears repeating-actually 2 things:

1. No matter how smoking hot a woman is, somewhere in the world, someone is sick of putting up with her crap.

2. true love is a testament to mutual indifference- she pretends he's the only one for her, while he pretends he wants anyone but her.

[Chrono]

Unfortunately I dont know many girls. :mad:

You and me both, Jimmy. :grumpy:

[The Bob]

You and me both, Jimmy. :grumpy:

The funny thing is I do not have that problem. :smile:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[jimmy p]

You have to meet girls quite a few times before you can actually start to get ne idea as to whether they are right for you or not. Go out pull as many birds as possible get as many numbers as possible and then try to meet some of them again or just chat to them through txt. You cant meet a girl and realise she's the one for you in one night. Maybe you guys are looking to hard.


:tongue2: Oh come on Andy, can you really see me going and chatting up loads of girls? seriously?? :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Actually it does seem like I'm making a rod for my own back, but every woman is like a different alien, you never know what pleases them. Not that I take to pleasuring aliens... no siree!

[Chrono]

:tongue2: Oh come on Andy, can you really see me going and chatting up loads of girls? seriously??


I think I answer for Andy when I say, "No!" Of course, I'm the same way. If they don't find me weird by being a math major, they'll find some other flaw with me.

[jimmy p]

I think I answer for Andy when I say, "No!" Of course, I'm the same way. If they don't find me weird by being a math major, they'll find some other flaw with me.

:surprised :surprised You wanted to study maths??? I mean.... how can that be weird?

[Chrono]

how can that be weird?

Same thing I wonder. But that's what they all think.

[jimmy p]

But that's what they all think.


You are supposed to finish that with "peaches I told 'em"

[enigma]

All right, ladies and gents:

I know I haven't posted to this thread before, but I need some serious advice. I apologise in advance for the length of the post.

I really recently got out of an extremely long term relationship. You can read my only entry in my journal for more details of my feelings about the split. For those who don't want to read that, the basics are that we'd been together for 8 years, have been in a serious death spiral for a little over a year, and circling the drain for two months. For instance: I haven't been kissed in about 4 months. We'll call her 'T'.

Now, in a bizarre twist of fate or serendipity (or both), I went with my best friend and his wife, my brother, and a whole gaggle of my brother's friends to a renaissance festival last saturday (3 days after the event). I was actually going to try to talk with one of the brother's girlfriend's friends, who I've been mildly taken with for a month or two. Unfortunately (or fortunately, I guess :blushing: ) she bolted off to do her own thing once we got through the gates (there were over 20 of us there, so staying as a group wasn't going to happen). Once inside, my brother and his g/f, my friend and his wife and I stuck together and went for a beer (first thing to do at 11 in the morning...). On the way to the inn, we met up with this girl (we'll call her D) who had went in before us, but was expected to meet up with all of us.

D had went to the same HS as my brother and I (almost a decade ago, now...), and I'd always thought she'd been very cute. Petite little brunette - the kind I always fall for. The situation to talk to her simply never presented itself before, though. Either I was in a relationship or recovering from a relationship or I didn't see her, or whatever. She had good friends with my brother (introduced him to his girlfriend), but my brother and I didn't run in the same circles in high school. Apparantly, she had a crush on me all through HS as well. Me, being the dope I am, hadn't noticed that.

Anyway, we went to get beers and sit down. It so happened that the benches were 6 person benches, and it so happened that she maneuvered herself to sit next to me. Things just went from there. We were attached to each others' hips the entire day. When I talked to her, I found out that she is funny, smart, *have I mentioned drop-dead-gorgeous?*, an engineer, and genuounly (sp?) fun to be around. She's got this way about her that just wants me to protect her (in the chivalrous put your coat over the muddy patch sort of way). I haven't had that sort of attention; having a person really want to be around me in years. Serendipidy. To quote my bother: "I am smitten. I am full of smit." When she was getting ready to leave, and I followed after her to ask for her number, she practically fumbled over herself to give me it.

We've got plans to go out sometime this weekend with my brother and his girlfriend.

Now, here comes the hard part:

I feel kind of crappy that it's so soon after breaking up with T. I was thinking that I would give myself some time and then start playing the field. I wasn't expecting to have another interest as quickly or as strongly, but it happened. I really wasn't expecting the break-up to feel like "I'm relieved we finally decided to do the right thing." I guess knowing that it was coming for as long as it was softened it at first, and then itched because it hadn't happened yet.

I still have feelings for T... not the "I'm madly in love with you and want to marry you" sort of feelings... not even "I want to go out with you" sort of feelings. More along the lines of "we've been friends for so long; we've got so much history. I want to be your friend and not hurt you."

I'm not worried about T. I can just fail to mention D when I talk to her (we've decided that we're going to try to salvage a friendship from the ashes). I'm concerned about telling D about the situation without scaring her off.

I'm big on honesty in a relationship. Possibly too big. I want to tell her that I just recently got out of a major relationship. I don't think that she is a 'rebound' relationship. *I don't want her to be either... I truly dig this girl*. I'm just afraid that she will ask what the reasons for the split were. Those reasons were real reasons... grown-up reasons... she doesn't want kids... I do... she wants someone with faith... I don't see that happening... we both felt abandoned by the other for a long time.

Things like that are NOT the kind of thing you talk about on a first date. I'm sure the girl likes me a lot, but I don't think I know her well enough to be baring my soul and life-goals.

So. Any advice?

Ladies, what would you do if I guy you really liked told you why he broke up with his long-term girlfriend *a week and a half ago*?

Thank you for bearing with me and not pointing and laughing :redface:

[Evo]

Enigma, I would tell her everything you just said here.

If I was "D", this would make me realize that you truly are interested in a relationship with me.

I don't feel that you are on the rebound. Your relationship died a slow death. What I consider as being on the rebound is when there is a sudden, painful breakup, or an unwanted breakup, and you are not ready to completely give up on the old relationship yet (even if you know it's over), emotionally you aren't ready to start over new.

You sound like you are ready to start over. Just because you didn't "officially" end the relationship until a few weeks ago, you know it's been over for a long time. This is the difference.

Now, this is just how I feel about it. Hopefully the other women here will share how they would react.

I think it is wonderful that you met up with this girl. Finding the right person is so rare, don't let this slip through your fingers, you might regret it the rest of your life.

[Zantra]

Gotta go with Evo on this one. You need to be up front with D and tell her that you just got out of a relationship, but that you're interested in her and have been for a long time. Explain the situation, and make sure she's crystal clear that there's nothing left between you and your Ex- then make sure you keep it that way- a lot of times long time flames can flare up again and it seems like you're still in love when it's actually just a convenience and comfort thing...

[The Bob]

Although I agree with Evo in saying that honesty and telling D what has happened between you and T, I also think that if you really do not want to answer a question don't lie just react in a caring way and say 'Nothing', but clearly make it so that something is up or they will not ask what is wrong. You then tell them or contiune with the 'Nothing' until they either leave it or beat it out of you. I accidently do it all the time and my girlfriend told me I did it and now I have to either stop or just tell her.

Females want to know they are wanted and so honestly is good. I can lie to my girlfriend so months on end but I know I will tell her eventually so I so no point in keeping it away from her.

As your relationship with T slowly died I don't see a problem with going for someone you seem to like better, or more to the point, feels right. That is the key thing. If it doesn't feel right then don't do it. I have followed that in everything from holding my girlfriend to kissing her. If you think holding back is best first do it, because D should understand if you tell her, but make it clear you want her and if you get home and think 'I should be with her now' then phone her and just do it.

For T you can only tell her that D is on the scene and make sure you say it in a way that shows you had not planned it, because you hadn't.

Anyway hope my experience might help. Keep us posted Enigma.
Good Luck :smile:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[enigma]

Date's on Saturday. We'll see how it goes!

*starts counting down the minutes*

T isn't going to find out for a while. If things are still going well in a few months, I'll drop that I'm seeing someone, and leave the specifics of 'when' out of it. I suppose that's one benefit of her refusing to associate with any of my friends for the last 4 years... there's noone to spy on me for her.

Thanks for the ear and advice, all.

[Chrono]

Date's on Saturday. We'll see how it goes!

This is the first date, right? What are planning on doing?

[enigma]

We're going to a nearby micro-brewery/resteraunt with my brother and his girlfriend. It's a really cool place.

... Afterwards, who knows? :smile:

[Chrono]

We're going to a nearby micro-brewery/resteraunt with my brother and his girlfriend. It's a really cool place.

Sounds good. Of course, I'm not one that should be giving advice on this sort of thing. :uhh:

[The Bob]

Sounds good. Of course, I'm not one that should be giving advice on this sort of thing. :uhh:

:surprised :surprised And I should have?? :surprised :surprised I may know what most females seem to want but I am still no good at relaying my advice. Hope it helped though Enigma.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Chrono]

may know what most females seem to want

That is one area in which I'm unskilled in.

[Andy]

Yea i agree with EVO on this too, but you dont have to go into the reasons as to why you broke up. If she's as smart as she sounds she will understand.

[PrudensOptimus]

Congratulations Enigma. You are one lucky radical.

[Zantra]

That is one area in which I'm unskilled in.

Yes I'm married and I still don't completely understand women- Bob you want to fill us cluessless folk in?

[enigma]

OK. Some lovely lady needs to help me here...

I just bought flowers. They need to last overnight and a 30 minute trip to baltimore. I'd like it if they keep for a day or two when they get there.

They came with the little "care package" of nutrients. Do I cut the stems and stick them in water with the nutrients now? Do I stick them in the fridge until tomorrow, and cut them when I get there? Do I just stick them in water?

Good golly, I'm clueless...

[Evo]

I remembered correctly, but here are the instructions. (I checked to make sure I didn't steer you wrong)

Keep your flowers in a cool place until you can get them in a flower food solution. Don't forget how important it is to follow the mixing directions on the flower food packet.

Fill a clean (washed with a detergent or antibacterial cleaning solution), deep vase with water and add a flower food from your florist.

Remove leaves that will be below the waterline. Leaves in water will promote bacterial microbial growth that may limit water uptake by the flower.

Re-cut stems by removing one to two inches with a sharp knife. Place the flowers in the vase solution you've prepared.

http://www.aboutflowers.com/floral_b3.html

[Chrono]

Yes I'm married and I still don't completely understand women

I don't think men were intended of ever doing so.

[enigma]

Thx Evo!

You are a lady and a scholar, and your kindness and generosity are exceeded only by your good looks!

[Chrono]

You are a lady and a scholar, and your kindness and generosity are exceeded only by your good looks!

Suck up. :rolleyes:

[The Bob]

Bob you want to fill us cluessless folk in?
It is something you have to learn. I can only explain what I think in my style and workings. It is all to their own style. However, I must say, most of the time I have not intended to please a female but I have and it is just because of who I am.

So the review: Act within your own capabilities, do thinks you would normally and see what reastion you get, adapt accordingly.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[enigma]

Suck up. :rolleyes:

Hey now... that's a classy line!

I'm just expressing my undying love for the mother of my virtual PF son, enigmo. (now where did that thread run off to...)

[Chrono]

Hey now... that's a classy line!

Just so you know, I plan on using it. :wink:

[Evo]

I'm just expressing my undying love for the mother of my virtual PF son, enigmo. (now where did that thread run off to...)Poor little enigmo. I was wondering if your new love affair would cause you to abandon our virtual son. I'm glad to see it hasn't. :approve:

Here's the original post.


Awww. that's cuuute!!!

Hey, maybe if Evo and Enigma cross-pollinated we'd have a little Enigmo!
Alas, poor Enigmo. His father, chained to a chair in the AE lab, his mother, known to have a very large and hairy tail. :surprised

The future looks bleak for the brilliant (on his father's side), yet smelly lad.

[Dooga Blackrazor]

Was this feast some kind of family event? That might've been awkward for her so she decided not to go. If it helps you any, I can empathize with what your going through. If someone says no you don't have any illusion to cling onto. When you don't ask someone out you always have the possibility that they will ask you out. Which is extremely slim do the the unfortunate belief that many women will not ask men out, but it's still there.

[Moonbear]

*sitting on edge of chair anxiously awaiting the news about Enigma's date*

Enigma, sorry I'm so late getting here, though it seems you've got everything under control...hopefully the flowers didn't wilt before you got there. Ooh, I'm feeling all nervous for you. :smile:

I think you got all the right advice already. The most important thing D is going to need to know is that you are trying to stay friends with T, and make sure she'll be okay with that. If she knows right from the start, it's less likely to be a problem than if you wait to tell her and she starts wondering why you didn't tell her from the start.

You might be better off just not talking to T for a while. Go with a cooling off period before you try to salvage a friendship out of it. With a long-term relationship like that ending, sometimes there's more habit than affection driving your desire to stay friends. Plus, it will give you more of a chance to kindle your new relationship with D without complicating it by still spending time with T.

[PrudensOptimus]

Thx Evo!

You are a lady and a scholar, and your kindness and generosity are exceeded only by your good looks!
I believe Evo's current avatar belongs to her daughter.

[Evo]

I believe Evo's current avatar belongs to her daughter.He's seen me. :grumpy: :devil:

[Chrono]

I believe Evo's current avatar belongs to her daughter.

Who also fits Enigma's description of Evo.

How old is she, by the way, Evo? If I may ask, of course.

[Tsu]

I KNOW!! I KNOW!! :biggrin: (It will cost you some dark chocolate to keep me quiet, Sis! :wink:)

[Evo]

Who also fits Enigma's description of Evo.

How old is she, by the way, Evo? If I may ask, of course.Thank you Chrono. :shy: She's 16.

To Tsu - it only matters how old I was when I had her. (sending vast quantitites of dark chocolate to Tsu)

[Tsu]

*stuffing chocolate into mouth* oh. yeah. thash right. *drool*

you were actually BORN pregnant with her weren't you? :biggrin: *stuffs more chocolate, licks fingers*

yeah. thash it. thash the ticket. *drool*

[Gokul43201]

Evo, bad move ! I doubt Tsu was going to let us all know her age ! :wink:

[Math Is Hard]

Tsu can only be slightly older than Evo since they are identical twins, you know. :wink:

[Tsu]

SHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I have no problem telling you that I'm 30 something (in hex) :biggrin: But see, Mom had ME real young and then took a little time off before having Evo, MIH and Moonbear. (Quiet, Moonbear! I'm keeping your secret, too!! Send more chocolate!! Or cookies... Whatever you feel like making... You're such a good cook! :smile:) :biggrin:

[Gokul43201]

:eek: So the twin thingy is all a hoax, and MiH is helping perpetuate it, cause she's one of the conspirators ??!! :eek:

[Math Is Hard]

I am a member of the secret PF sisterhood...shhhhh....

[Math Is Hard]

Recon will be joining us soon. Muhahhahhahhaaa!

[Tsu]

*stuffing more chocolate*
no. really. we're twinsh. honesht. ALL of ush!! :biggrin: This ishn't a rush. :biggrin:

(Thanx MIH. This Belgian stuff is really GOOD!! :wink: Recon! Don't forget to send Sister Tsu her chocolates!!! :smile:)

[Gokul43201]

Evo, Tsu, MiH & Moonbear : The Four Horsewomen of the Apocalypse. :surprised:

[enigma]

She's awesome. I'm smitten. :blushing:

Smart girls rule.

And Prudens, Evo's a hottie as well... :cool:

Where do you think her daughter got her looks?

[Math Is Hard]

Evo, Tsu, MiH & Moonbear : The Four Horsewomen of the Apocalypse. :surprised:

Actually there are 5 of us, with Monique being the most deadly. But whoops! I've already said too much :redface: My chocolate will be rationed now. :frown:

[Gokul43201]

Aha !! So, it seems the date was a smash !! :smile:

[Gokul43201]

Damn, I thought Monique was one of the clean women here (what with recon getting inducted and all) ! Didn't think that the vicious tentacles of this sinister sisterhood :devil: spread to the other side of the pond...

[enigma]

Aha !! So, it seems the date was a smash !! :smile:

Yeah, I actually spent the entire day with her.

We went down the the Baltimore inner harbor to check out the aquarium and the boat tours (went on the sub and the lightship). Afterwards, we rented 'Big Fish' and got Chinese (and shared a pint of "Cherry Garcia" afterwards). Then we went to the brewery and stayed till last call with friends.

Inexplicably, she had as good a time as I did :surprised :cool:

[Tsu]

Damn, I thought Monique was one of the clean women here (what with recon getting inducted and all) ! Didn't think that the vicious tentacles of this sinister sisterhood :devil: spread to the other side of the pond...
Resistance is futile. :biggrin: :rofl:

[Math Is Hard]

Recon, like Monique and the rest of us, bears the mark of the sisterhood (the size 8 shoe). We do not choose this, it is chosen for us. Kerrie has not yet come forward, but it is assumed she also bears the mark.
Only Tsu, our clan matriarch, holds the status of the unattainable shoe size, so she governs our actions and directions.
Once again I've said too much. My chocolate may be further restricted. :frown:

Enigma, who were you out with? Evo or Evo Jr? I haven't been keeping up!

[Tsu]

Enigma!!!! You're back from your date! Tell us more!!! Is she totally wonderful?? When's your next date?!! :biggrin:

[enigma]

Enigma, who were you out with? Evo or Evo Jr? I haven't been keeping up!

Snarf... :tongue2:

[enigma]

Enigma!!!! You're back from your date! Tell us more!!! Is she totally wonderful?? When's your next date?!! :biggrin:

I gave the basic rundown a few posts up. Do you want more details than that?

She is totally wonderful. I was worried for nothing. She was totally cool about it. Totally wonderful.

Next date is as soon as is humanly possible. Most likely next Friday.

[Math Is Hard]

Snarf... :tongue2:

Oh, gosh, golly! I got confused!

[Gokul43201]

Resistance is futile. :biggrin: :rofl:

So, both of you are into TNG, eh ?

[Math Is Hard]

So, both of you are into TNG, eh ?

You ask many questions, Gokul. We have noted this.

[Gokul43201]

Yeah, I actually spent the entire day with her.

We went down the the Baltimore inner harbor to check out the aquarium and the boat tours (went on the sub and the lightship). Afterwards, we rented 'Big Fish' and got Chinese (and shared a pint of "Cherry Garcia" afterwards). Then we went to the brewery and stayed till last call with friends.

Inexplicably, she had as good a time as I did :surprised :cool:

Ah, Inner Harbour...where else ? Didn't have to wait in a mile long queue for Aquarium tickets, did you ?

And most girls don't especially enjoy the submarine...many seem to find it too claustrophobic....even for like a 20 minute walk-thru. Did she actually enjoy that ?

And the brewery...I imagine that was not in the Inner Harbour area ?

[enigma]

Didn't have to wait in a mile long queue for Aquarium tickets, did you ? No, walked right up to the front. The sky was overcast, and they had been predicting PM thundershowers (which never came), so the crowds outside weren't too bad.


And most girls don't especially enjoy the submarine...many seem to find it too claustrophobic....even for like a 20 minute walk-thru. Did she actually enjoy that ?

Dude, she's an engineer! She was as fascinated with all the WW2 bells and whistles as I was! I wasn't embellishing when I said she's awesome! :approve:


And the brewery...I imagine that was not in the Inner Harbour area ?

Nope. Ellicott City. About 20 minutes by car from her place.

[Math Is Hard]

Are you going to call her tomorrow, Enigma? Or are you going to wait 3 days? (I heard there was some rule about that with guys..)

[Tsu]

I gave the basic rundown a few posts up. Do you want more details than that?
What do YOU think? :wink:

She is totally wonderful. I was worried for nothing. She was totally cool about it. Totally wonderful.
Perfect. :smile:

Next date is as soon as is humanly possible. Most likely next Friday.
What? She's busy today? :rofl:

[Tsu]

Are you going to call her tomorrow, Enigma? Or are you going to wait 3 days? (I heard there was some rule about that with guys..)
What kind of DUMB rule is THAT?? :rofl: :rofl:

[Astrophysics]

so you're going out with that girl now? (been missing out a lot...haven't been on this site for months...haha)

[enigma]

Are you going to call her tomorrow, Enigma? Or are you going to wait 3 days? (I heard there was some rule about that with guys..)

Not if you're smitten.

I think that rule was "invented" when you're trying to act aloof so you don't scare off a person if you meet them at a bar or something. If you call right away, you seem "desperate" or something.


so you're going out with that girl now?

Unless I do something stupid and scare her off.

What? She's busy today?

Unfortunately, I am. Helping a friend move.

"Friends help you move.
Real friends help you move bodies."
(I've been told it's an old Jewish proverb)

[enigma]

What do YOU think? :wink:


Uhm. Otay.

Got to her place around 10am. I met her little devil dog. Apparantly she got her when she was 13 and was given full responsibility. Therefore, the dog didn't get trained properly. The dog seemed to like me, though (I have a feeling that was a test, which I passed). We then hopped onto the Metro down to the inner harbor. Apparantly the Red Sox beat the Orioles, because it almost seemed like there was an official pedestrian uniform we weren't aware of. Everyone was wearing Red Sox jersees and hats. We went on the submarine and the lightship which we both loved (and during which I cemented my opinion that she's awesome). Then we went and got hot-dogs for lunch at this place near the Hard Rock Cafe. This was followed by the Aquarium tour and dolphin show. Afterwards, we went back to her place so she could walk her dog. Had about 5 hours to kill until people got off work, so we watched "Mean Girls" (which was OK, for a teen flick), and then went out and got Chinese food, "Big Fish" (which was cool), and a pint of ice cream. After that, we drove to the brewery and hung out for several hours. Some friends she hadn't seen in years were there. I didn't feel abandoned at all. She is wonderful. Talked with her friends, but still stayed cognisant of the date. Totally cool. Afterwards, I took her home, said goodnight, and drove back to DC (at 2:30 in the morning).

[Chrono]

She's awesome. I'm smitten. :blushing:

So am I. With Evo's daughter, I mean.

*Wonders if I have a chance*

[Chrono]

Afterwards, I took her home, said goodnight, and drove back to DC (at 2:30 in the morning).

No good-night kiss, or are you just not telling?

[enigma]

A gentleman does not discuss such things :wink:

And the saying of the goodnight was very nice.

[Chrono]

A gentleman does not discuss such things :wink:

It seems you're not one to kiss and tell.

[Evo]

Enigma, that is SO GREAT!!!!!!! :approve:

Any woman that enjoys touring a submarine is a keeper! :smile:

But maybe it wasn't just the submarine...maybe it was who she was with... :approve:

And guys...let me clue you in. When a girl gives you her "real" phone number. You NEED to call the next day (if not sooner).

[Moonbear]

*does a little happy dance*

Yay! Enigma, I'm so happy for you that your date went so wonderfully well! :smile: Yippee for you! She sounds wonderful (though I think you're already biased, but sometimes bias is a good thing). I take it you'll be racking up the mileage on your car for a while now (there are trains between DC and Baltimore if you get tired of the drive). Being full of smit is great too!


Ooops...almost forgot...inserts lots of chocolate for Tsu, and sends some to the rest of the sisterhood too...just in case. :rofl:

[Chrono]

When a girl gives you her "real" phone number. You NEED to call the next day (if not sooner).

Does that also apply to us guys who are "phone challenged"?

[Math Is Hard]

Being full of smit is great too!
LOL! :rofl:


Ooops...almost forgot...inserts lots of chocolate for Tsu, and sends some to the rest of the sisterhood too...just in case. :rofl:

Thanks, I needed that! Hazelnut truffles back at ya! :approve:

[Moonbear]

Thanks, I needed that! Hazelnut truffles back at ya! :approve:

:approve: Mmmmmm...yummmmy! Thanks...that's my absolute favorite chocolate! :approve:

[Chrono]

Who knew that chocolate had such an effect on women. I sure didn't.

[Gokul43201]

You ask many questions, Gokul. We have noted this.

Today, there was this Wiccan Festival on campus. :uhh: All sorts of witches and warlocks everywhere :devil: !! And then suddenly, I sensed it :bugeye:...and I ran as fast as I could :surprised...I knew you folks were out there :eek:... waiting to trap me and use my entrails for jewelry. :surprised

Guess I got lucky this time... I beg thee mercy, O Powerful Sisterhood :cry:

[Math Is Hard]

Ah! I thought I saw you watching us! We were just finishing Recon's induction ceremony (which concludes with the sisterhood granting her a physical law to control) when I sensed you peeping at us. :bugeye:

but never fear - we are known to show great compassion and mercy to those who send us chocolate. :smile: :wink:

[Gokul43201]

I have this lovely box of maple truffles that I've been saving up for a special occasion. :frown:

Here...take it....:cry: :cry:

[Math Is Hard]

mmMMMMMmmMmmMM..mmph...chomp..chomp.. Delicious! :smile:
<passes box of chocolates to sisters>
I can't speak for all, but I am certainly appeased! :biggrin:

[Tsu]

MAPLE truffles!?!?!?! Oooooo..... Well, hmmmmmm....

*slowly begins nibbling on a luscious maple truffle...oh man! these are SO good...mmmMmm...drool (jeez, i've gotta get that fixed)*

Ya know? I believe I would enjoy just a tad bit more appeasement, please. :rofl: Wait! I'll need a beverage to accompany them. Milk! Yes! Be right back...

*scampers off to kitchen to get bowl of milk.*

I'm the seventh wonder of the veterinary world - the only puppy on the planet who HAS to eat copious amounts of chocolate!!!!! EAT YOUR HEARTS OUT FELLOW CANINES!!! :rofl:

[Andy]

Ah, about the flowers, I know its far too late to help, but i heard that the stems are best cut at a diagonal angle. Apparently this is better for the plants, think my Unlce told me that one.

[Monique]

I'm the seventh wonder of the veterinary world - the only puppy on the planet who HAS to eat copious amounts of chocolate!!!!! EAT YOUR HEARTS OUT FELLOW CANINES!!! :rofl:
You DO know chocolate is toxic to dogs right? :eek: :tongue:

[Evo]

I have this lovely box of maple truffles that I've been saving up for a special occasion. :frown:

Here...take it....:cry: :cry:Mmmmm, <chomp> thank you Gokul!!!! <chomp> I was kidding about the entrails (puts down her pitch fork). :devil:

Just keep sending these chocolates <chomp snarf> and you will be fine. :biggrin:

[Moonbear]

I have this lovely box of maple truffles that I've been saving up for a special occasion. :frown:

Here...take it....:cry: :cry:

Maple? Hmmm...takes a tiny bite for a taste. Mulls it over. Snarfs down the rest! Licking my lips now. :tongue2: Yes, I think the sisterhood has been appeased, your entrails are safe...for now...just keep the chocolate coming. :biggrin:

[Chrono]

You ladies sure didn't save any truffles for the rest of us, now, did you? :cry:

[Tsu]

You DO know chocolate is toxic to dogs right? :eek: :tongue:
MONIQUE!!!! Where have you been??? I haven't seen you in forEVER!

Yes, chocolate is toxic to ALL dogs... EXCEPT ME!!! That's why I'm the seventh wonder of the veterinary world! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Andy, you are correct. Flower stems should be cut at an angle. :approve:

[Monique]

MONIQUE!!!! Where have you been??? I haven't seen you in forEVER! I'm busy moving :smile: anyone up to give a hand? The wall still needs to have another layer of blue, the wood on the floor still needs to be finished laying, and lots of other stuff.. please bring some robes to hide the couches and curtains that have a floral pattern with :devil:

Enigma: your breakup was mutual, it was probably the right thing to do. Treasure the girl you're seeing now and always make her feel special :approve:

[pace]

Arggggg. I want some girl trouble.

[The Bob]

Arggggg. I want some girl trouble.
Give us some then. :tongue2: :rofl: :biggrin: :smile:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[pace]

Right. I'm possibly over to Glastonbury festival next summer. I'll see what I can do ;)

[Gokul43201]

Right. I'm possibly over to Glastonbury festival next summer. I'll see what I can do ;)

Keep an eye out for the witches... :surprised

[pace]

Keep an eye out for the witches... :surprised

Witches? What do they do? How do I recognize them?

[Gokul43201]

Look for tall pointy hats, broomsticks and large pots brewing some nasty $#!t.

Also look out for signs asking for "entrail donations". :eek:

What do they do ? Trust me; you don't wanna find out. :devil:

[Chrono]

Arggggg. I want some girl trouble.

I got plenty to give you. :wink:

[pace]

I got plenty to give you. :wink:

You're a guy and married? :)

[Chrono]

You're a guy and married? :)

Just a single guy. If you want to know the problems I've been having, you may want to read my previous posts in this thread. That should give you an idea.

[Tsu]

You ladies sure didn't save any truffles for the rest of us, now, did you? :cry:
How did I miss this post last night? Of COURSE we saved some for you Chrono!! What flavor would you like? Well, here. Have some of each! :smile:
*stuffs truffles into computer*
Bon apetite!! :biggrin: :biggrin:

Monique! WOOHOO! - a new place to nest in! :approve: Where are you moving to? Don't you like living at home anymore? Or has it taken you this long to finally find a place? I know flats in Amsterdam are pretty hard to come by (right?). Tell us about it! :smile:

Ya know, now that I think about, it seems like you've been pretty scarce lately. Have you gone and found some hunky guy to hang out with???????? :surprised I sure hope so! (No Ed Whitten - like. OK?) :eek:

[Math Is Hard]

Monique, when's the housewarming? Can't wait to see the place! :biggrin:
Have you moved the animals in yet?

[Chrono]

How did I miss this post last night? Of COURSE we saved some for you Chrono!! What flavor would you like? Well, here. Have some of each! :smile:
*stuffs truffles into computer*
Bon apetite!! :biggrin: :biggrin:

Sweet! And here I thought I was being neglected.

[Monique]

I know flats in Amsterdam are pretty hard to come by (right?). Tell us about it! :smile: lol, yeah. The waiting list for an apartment would be about 6 years :uhh: But knowing people will get you one quick :tongue2: it's huge: 55m2 and in a verry nice real Amsterdam neighbourhood, it's the same street my great-grandfather used to live in, I found out today :approve: actually my great-grandfather used to live across from where I live now.. my mom used to run the street as a toddler :biggrin: and everything is close by, I even have a garden :bugeye: ok, it's communial, but gardens are hard to come by in the city :wink:

Ya know, now that I think about, it seems like you've been pretty scarce lately. Have you gone and found some hunky guy to hang out with???????? :surprised I sure hope so! (No Ed Whitten - like. OK?) :eek: :rofl: haha, sure no Ed Whitten :rolleyes:
he sure is a hunk :approve: he says he'll write me a song and then make a dance version of it to get it played in clubs :cool: isn't that sweet?

[Monique]

Monique, when's the housewarming? Can't wait to see the place! :biggrin:
Have you moved the animals in yet?
Sure, everyone's invited, I already asked Greg when he's stopping by during his Eurotrip :tongue2:

[pace]

hah! I can see Monique has gotten a boyfriend from all the emoticons she's using ;D

[Evo]

Something is afoot at PF, everyone falling in love, moving into new places....

I see chroot also just got a fabulous new place.

[pace]

I'm moving too :D
(Hopefully) to a small Student-appartment, within a student living complex.
Gonna be exciting.

[Chrono]

I'm moving too :D
(Hopefully) to a small Student-appartment, within a student living complex.
Gonna be exciting.

As I said to chroot, looks like a good place to bring chicks over.

[pace]

As I said to chroot, looks like a good place to bring chicks over.

I'll probably not be able to concentrate *swoon*

[Chrono]

I'll probably not be able to concentrate *swoon*

Yes, you can. You can "concentrate" on the girl all night.

[pace]

I'm probably going to be fumbling on the girl all night.

[Chrono]

I'm probably going to be fumbling on the girl all night.

So? Just let her fumble on you back.

[enigma]

I'm afraid I may have scared her off. :frown:

We'll see what happens this weekend.

Woowoo 1000th reply to this thread.

[Chrono]

I'm afraid I may have scared her off. :frown:

Your date? What makes you think that? I thought things went well.

[enigma]

So did I. I think I misread her and came on too stong. May have freaked her out a bit.

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

holy **** this is an old thread, almost a year old, it started Nov 23rd 2003

[Chrono]

So did I. I think I misread her and came on too stong. May have freaked her out a bit.

Good luck there, my friend.

holy **** this is an old thread, almost a year old, it started Nov 23rd 2003

And yet we continue to have girl trouble.

[Evo]

So did I. I think I misread her and came on too stong. May have freaked her out a bit.What happened?

[Tsu]

Yes. What happened? :frown: How do you think you may have come on too strong? And what is she doing or saying that's making you think she's freakin' out? Am I too inquisitive? sorry... :redface:

[enigma]

Apparantly, she usually doesn't date anyone she hasn't known for a long time first. Trust issues.

I think she had too good a time on Saturday, and it wierded her out. I did end up seeing her on Sunday (she stopped by and we went out for coffee). While there she asked if we could be friends first. I called her Monday and suggested we set up ground rules instead. She seemed receptive. Then, when I asked her to be honest, she said that she didn't want to kiss me goodbye on Sunday... she did it because she thought I wanted to. :frown: *DONT DO THIS LADIES... ITS NOT FAIR*

All is not lost yet. I have backed off and not called her since Monday. She didn't say she didn't want to be called, but I asked her to call me to set up plans, and she hasn't yet. We have plans for a much smaller scope date tomorrow which just needs times finalized. We'll see if she calls tonight. Hopefully, she will.

I guess some ladies don't like being treated like princesses. *shrug* I'm too new to this, apparantly.

[pace]

hmmm. Take her out on different fun stuff. Have fun together. And you'll find out if you fit. Maybe things will move faster than you think.

my 2 cents.

[Monique]

I guess some ladies don't like being treated like princesses. *shrug* I'm too new to this, apparantly. I think she definately is interested, but she needs a little more time to test your interest and develop her feelings. Do little things to spark her interest, keep your feelings in the background until you're sure she's ready to hear them.

[Chrono]

I think she had too good a time on Saturday, and it wierded her out. I did end up seeing her on Sunday (she stopped by and we went out for coffee). While there she asked if we could be friends first. I called her Monday and suggested we set up ground rules instead. She seemed receptive. Then, when I asked her to be honest, she said that she didn't want to kiss me goodbye on Sunday... she did it because she thought I wanted to. :frown: *DONT DO THIS LADIES... ITS NOT FAIR*

Sounds kind of like my experiences, except that I've never gotten as far as a date. It always ended before that.

[Tsu]

Apparantly, she usually doesn't date anyone she hasn't known for a long time first. Trust issues.

I think she had too good a time on Saturday, and it wierded her out. I did end up seeing her on Sunday (she stopped by and we went out for coffee). While there she asked if we could be friends first. I called her Monday and suggested we set up ground rules instead. She seemed receptive. Then, when I asked her to be honest, she said that she didn't want to kiss me goodbye on Sunday... she did it because she thought I wanted to. :frown: *DONT DO THIS LADIES... ITS NOT FAIR*

All is not lost yet. I have backed off and not called her since Monday. She didn't say she didn't want to be called, but I asked her to call me to set up plans, and she hasn't yet. We have plans for a much smaller scope date tomorrow which just needs times finalized. We'll see if she calls tonight. Hopefully, she will.

I guess some ladies don't like being treated like princesses. *shrug* I'm too new to this, apparantly.
Enigma, I'm quite sure she enjoyed being treated like a princess. (I'm pretty sure we ALL do! :biggrin:) And being friends first is a MUST! Don't take a lover until they've become your best friend!! Your relationship will stand a much better chance of being a lasting one if you are best friends FIRST! :wink:

It sounds to me like she is interested in you but she just likes to take things very slowly. That's OK. You can handle that! :smile: Remember that old Heinz Ketchup commercial where the little kid was saying "Good things come to those who WAIT"? :biggrin: Just take her out with the only intent of having fun. Show her what a great guy you are. She won't be able to HELP herself!! :biggrin:

[enigma]

Don't take a lover until they've become your best friend!!

OH NONONO... Not that! I'm not that piggish. I'm getting the impression that she doesn't even want to "date" yet. If I wanted to just get someone in the sack, I don't think I'd have to look too terribly hard.

And my spies tell me that she was thrown off by being treated well. We're talking things like holding the car door for her, cleaning up the dishes after we had dinner and coffee (and putting the two dishes which were in the sink in the dishwasher along with them), etc.

Just take her out with the only intent of having fun. Show her what a great guy you are. She won't be able to HELP herself!! :biggrin:

That was the goal. It may have backfired because it was too much fun, too fast. I'll find out soon whether it did or didn't.

[Gokul43201]

Stay open-minded...there may be things in her history that you know not of. If there is something that's making her feel this way, she'll eventually tell you about it.

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

eventualy, patience is the best virtue, so.... be patient, women like to take their time, just look at how long it takes them to prepare for an event, takes them the whole freakin day

[Evo]

And my spies tell me that she was thrown off by being treated well. We're talking things like holding the car door for her, cleaning up the dishes after we had dinner and coffee (and putting the two dishes which were in the sink in the dishwasher along with them), etc. Dang, what woman wouldn't LOVE that???

She must have issues carried over from a prior relationship. It sounds like she might have been hurt badly in the past and is afraid of letting herself fall in love and become vulnerable again.

You're doing the right thing Enigma by giving her the space she feels she needs. You're an amazing guy to be this sensitive and caring.

I've been hurt very badly before, but I don't believe in carrying emotional baggage from a previous relationship into a new one. Each relationship needs to start with a clean slate and complete trust. Yes, giving your heart to someone always brings the risk that they will RIP IT OUT AND STOMP IT INTO THE GROUND. But if you go through life afraid of being hurt you will never find love either.

[Chrono]

You're doing the right thing Enigma by giving her the space she feels she needs. You're an amazing guy to be this sensitive and caring.


Totally. Even I'd date you, Enigma. :biggrin:

[enigma]

She called. Crisis averted. :biggrin:

[Gokul43201]

<phew> :smile:

[pace]

yay! :biggrin: *casts flowers around*

[Chrono]

She called. Crisis averted. :biggrin:

Sweetness!

[graphic7]

My problem varies slightly from the original topic of this post.

There's this girl in my Calculus III class, and without a doubt she's probably the most beautiful girl I've seen. Only problem, I believe she's slightly out of my reach. When I say slightly, I'm really exagerating the magnitude of how dire the situation appears at the moment.

Problem is, I'm roughly 3 years younger than her, I don't even drive (I'm not joking), and I still live with my mother. I'm not saying that I'm a bum. It's just that I'm 16, therefore, these various attributes that I'm missing conflict with my age - making the chance of me and her seem slim to none.

We do talk quite a bit, and she's even made the offer to me that she needs tutoring in Calculus (she stopped showing up to class, so I haven't confronted her about accepting the tutoring offer). She also sits beside me in class (when she does show up).

Should I ask her out, or should I just stop fantasizing and concentrate on more important things?

I suppose I'm also trying to get a sample of how many of you view a girl in a relationship with a younger guy as taboo.

[The Bob]

I suppose I'm also trying to get a sample of how many of you view a girl in a relationship with a younger guy as taboo.
No problem with the age, if it is meant to be then who cares. Does she have a boyfriend and would you say you are good friends???

I can't say what you can do as when I got my girlfriend I was unsure for months and it turned out I was wasting time, so how does she act around you???

Will try and help after answers.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[graphic7]

She's single, I'm certain. We've only known each other since the fall semester started, so that'd be roughly, one and half months. I guess, I should get to know more about her before I ask her out. At the moment, I really don't know too much about her, other than she's absolutely stunning.

She acts pretty comfortable around me. We talk, just average chit-chat, nothing special.

I suppose the main problem is that we don't see each other very often. I see her in class, and occasionally walking down the halls, where we always greet one another and that sort of thing.

[The Bob]

She's single, I'm certain. We've only known each other since the fall semester started, so that'd be roughly, one and half months. I guess, I should get to know more about her before I ask her out. At the moment, I really don't know too much about her, other than she's absolutely stunning.
One and a half months is not long enough. I know with my girlfriend that if I had of ask one and a half months into know her then she would most likely not have gone out with me but we were very, very comfortable. You have to get very comfortable and get it to a stage were you notice she is trying to be around you.

She acts pretty comfortable around me. We talk, just average chit-chat, nothing special.
That is what you must do but try and twist the conversation onto her or you and talk about yourselves more, but without her realising she is (if you see what I mean).

I suppose the main problem is that we don't see each other very often. I see her in class, and occasionally walking down the halls, where we always great one another and that sort of thing.
You need time. I saw my girlfriend once a week for about 3 hours and that was with other people around her all the time. I showed that I liked her by trying to be around her and it took 5 months for her to finally realise she liked me.

Sorry that I can only relate to myself but if you look for some of my earlier posts then they could be more useful but I will help here as well.

The Bob (2004 ©)

P.S. Ask away, if you need to. :smile:

[graphic7]

Thanks for your help. I feel a bit more certain about what I need to do than I did, previously.

I'll continue to talk to her, so we can learn more about one another, and then I'll start showing that I have an interest in her (which she should already notice by that point, I believe).

Once again, thanks.

[The Bob]

Once again, thanks.
No problem. That is what we are all here for.

Oh another good point. Remember her birthday and get her something. I do that with all my friends but it should show something more, but do it to more people than just her, then it is not quite so obvious.

Good Luck. :wink:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Gokul43201]

There's this girl in my Calculus III class, and without a doubt she's probably the most beautiful girl I've seen.

Without a doubt, this is probably the best line I've read in this thread. :biggrin:

graphic7, I think you should talk her into getting back to attending class, or she'll mess up her grades. :uhh:

[graphic7]

Without a doubt, this is probably the best line I've read in this thread. :biggrin:

graphic7, I think you should talk her into getting back to attending class, or she'll mess up her grades. :uhh:

I've been thinking the same thoughts. She's a Chemistry major, and I believe Calculus III is required for Chemistry (it's required for almost every science that I know of). If she drops Calculus III, or worse, fails it - she's screwed. Maybe if I can convince her of that (she'll see that I care), that'll get my foot in the door.

Thanks Gokul. Out of 1029 posts, that's quite a compliment. :biggrin:

[PrudensOptimus]

My problem varies slightly from the original topic of this post.

There's this girl in my Calculus III class, and without a doubt she's probably the most beautiful girl I've seen. Only problem, I believe she's slightly out of my reach. When I say slightly, I'm really exagerating the magnitude of how dire the situation appears at the moment.

Problem is, I'm roughly 3 years younger than her, I don't even drive (I'm not joking), and I still live with my mother. I'm not saying that I'm a bum. It's just that I'm 16, therefore, these various attributes that I'm missing conflict with my age - making the chance of me and her seem slim to none.

We do talk quite a bit, and she's even made the offer to me that she needs tutoring in Calculus (she stopped showing up to class, so I haven't confronted her about accepting the tutoring offer). She also sits beside me in class (when she does show up).

Should I ask her out, or should I just stop fantasizing and concentrate on more important things?

I suppose I'm also trying to get a sample of how many of you view a girl in a relationship with a younger guy as taboo.
I think she just wants TUTORING... nothing more. If you do more, you'll eventually lose TUTORING money from her and self-esteem. So why bother? Also, TUTOR her in a public place, just so your little buddy wouldn't jump out of your pants.

[graphic7]

I think she just wants TUTORING... nothing more. If you do more, you'll eventually lose TUTORING money from her and self-esteem. So why bother? Also, TUTOR her in a public place, just so your little buddy wouldn't jump out of your pants.

Well, she really hasn't stressed to me that she wants to be tutored. It's come up all of two or three times in our conversations. I think if that were her true motive, I'd put the pieces together. Not only that, she's stopped attending class. If tutoring were *that* important to her, I would think that she'd come to me.

I'm also not going to bother with 'motives.' That's a waste of my time and anyone else's in a relationship (or soon to be one). Just another thing to keep you from asking the girl out, which is certainly not what I need or anyone else needs for that matter.

[Gokul43201]

Also, TUTOR her in a public place, just so your little buddy wouldn't jump out of your pants.

I think this qualifies as the next best line !! :biggrin:

Perhaps I should have said this before, but I really have read very much of this thread. :redface:

[Chrono]

Should I ask her out, or should I just stop fantasizing and concentrate on more important things?

Dude, I say just ask her out.

I've noticed, by the way, that I have a different mentality towards my own love life. I'm scared as crap to ask anyone out. That may be why I haven't dated yet.

[Math Is Hard]

When I was 23 I dated a 17 year old briefly. The fact that it was illegal in my state added to the appeal. :wink:

[Chrono]

When I was 23 I dated a 17 year old briefly. The fact that it was illegal in my state added to the appeal. :wink:

I'm 20 and almost dated a 16 year old. I pretty much told you all what happend.

[graphic7]

Yeah, but I still think there's a stigma about dating younger guys, especially when both parties are in their teens. Agree or not?

[Chrono]

Yeah, but I still think there's a stigma about dating younger guys, especially when both parties are in their teens. Agree or not?

Yeah, I tend to agree. When one of my girl friends was dating, one of her boyfriend's was younger than her. When I heard that for the first time I first thought that that was a bit unusual.

[Moonbear]

graphic7, I'm not sure from your description if she would be receptive to the idea of a date or not. Yours is a tough call. If she's a chem major, yes, she needs Calc III, so you could always contact her, let her know you noticed she's been missing class, ask if everything is okay, let her know you're willing to help tutor her if she is still interested, and use that as an opportunity to just get to know her better. Right now, it seems you don't really know much about her other than that she's physically attractive. Until you know if there's anything beyond that, no point getting too crazy about her. If she takes you up on the tutoring offer, you'll be able to gauge things better as you interact with her more. If she keeps it all about studying, then you'll know. With this one, I suggest you aim for friendship first and see if it develops into anything else, otherwise, you'll at least have a good friend.

[graphic7]

graphic7, I'm not sure from your description if she would be receptive to the idea of a date or not. Yours is a tough call. If she's a chem major, yes, she needs Calc III, so you could always contact her, let her know you noticed she's been missing class, ask if everything is okay, let her know you're willing to help tutor her if she is still interested, and use that as an opportunity to just get to know her better. Right now, it seems you don't really know much about her other than that she's physically attractive. Until you know if there's anything beyond that, no point getting too crazy about her. If she takes you up on the tutoring offer, you'll be able to gauge things better as you interact with her more. If she keeps it all about studying, then you'll know. With this one, I suggest you aim for friendship first and see if it develops into anything else, otherwise, you'll at least have a good friend.

You're right. I am getting a little too excited, too soon. I'll see how things go over the next few days - make some inquiries as far as her studies go, and we'll see how it goes from there.

[Moonbear]

Also, TUTOR her in a public place, just so your little buddy wouldn't jump out of your pants.

:rofl: Oh, c'mon, you know full well those little buddies don't care whether you're alone or in public! Fortunately, calc textbooks are quite large to carry such that they can conceal such things. (Did you really think women don't notice when you need to carry your 3-ring binder in front of you?) That may also be the primary reason men are willing to dress up in suits for dates...a buttoned suit jacket, provided it is tailored properly long enough, will conceal all that you need concealed. :cool:

[graphic7]

:rofl: Oh, c'mon, you know full well those little buddies don't care whether you're alone or in public! Fortunately, calc textbooks are quite large to carry such that they can conceal such things. (Did you really think women don't notice when you need to carry your 3-ring binder in front of you?) That may also be the primary reason men are willing to dress up in suits for dates...a buttoned suit jacket, provided it is tailored properly long enough, will conceal all that you need concealed. :cool:

It's funny you say that. I remember using Stewart's Calculus to cover up my little buddy during class last week. I guess I was wrong that noone would observe my little cover-up. :shy:

[The Bob]

Also, TUTOR her in a public place, just so your little buddy wouldn't jump out of your pants.
I think the best cover up for this comes from a comdy sketch by Billy Connolly. Simple stand up and shout that you have your 'buddy' standing up and then everyone else will be embarrased and not look. Works a charm, I know because my friend does it all the time and I have got used to it but everyone else looks horrified. It is hilarious. :rofl:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Dimitri Terryn]

I'm speechless :bugeye:

[Moonbear]

I think the best cover up for this comes from a comdy sketch by Billy Connolly. Simple stand up and shout that you have your 'buddy' standing up and then everyone else will be embarrased and not look. Works a charm, I know because my friend does it all the time and I have got used to it but everyone else looks horrified. It is hilarious. :rofl:

The Bob (2004 ©)

:bugeye: I would highly discourage this approach while on a date. :rofl:

[The Bob]

:bugeye: I would highly discourage this approach while on a date. :rofl:
So would I. It was just an example of how embarrasing everyone else can work in your favor. :rofl:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[gazzo]

Carry around a calculus book during your date :biggrin:

Or just don't wear any pants, that way nobody will look anyway. :bugeye:

[Chrono]

:bugeye: I would highly discourage this approach while on a date. :rofl:

But what about the rest of the time?

[GlassDraggon]

I dunno...it depends on the guy. For some guy's it might IMPROVE the relationship. ;)

[The Bob]

Carry around a calculus book during your date :biggrin:

Or just don't wear any pants, that way nobody will look anyway. :bugeye:
Even better than mine. :biggrin: Silent Embarrasing. :rofl: Genius. :smile:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[PrudensOptimus]

Carry around a calculus book during your date :biggrin:

Or just don't wear any pants, that way nobody will look anyway. :bugeye:
Carry a Calculus book?

The Calculus I - V book by Stewart weighs at least 20lbs...

[Chrono]

Carry a Calculus book?

The Calculus I - V book by Stewart weighs at least 20lbs...

Well, that way you can develop your arms in the process.

[PrudensOptimus]

Heh, develop your arm... Go work out would be a better choice.

[Math Is Hard]

Carry a Calculus book?

The Calculus I - V book by Stewart weighs at least 20lbs...

No doubt! James Stewart's Calculus gave me the best biceps I've had in my life. :approve:
Get the multivariable edition if you really want to increase muscle mass.

[Chrono]

Get the multivariable edition if you really want to increase muscle mass.

Sounds like it's worth the price. Can it help develop my chest, too?

[kuba]

This was supposed to be a reply to a way earlier post in the thread, BTW.

PrudensOptimus, I think that you're suffering from a mild case of overanalysis. I know since when I was about the same age I suffered from it too. You're trying to outguess her. Don't. She'll probably clearly say that she has other stuff to do, or give whatever other excuse if she doesn't feel like interacting with you at that time. Or even a lamer excuse if she doesn't feel like ever having anything to do with you ]>.

But so far you're really making things harder for yourself by trying to overinterpret everything. Just stay cool, talk to her! Communications is everything, and since you're 15 I guess that you're likely to be inept at reading body language and other under-the-surface signs. I'm almost 30 and if it weren't for my wife I wouldn't have been probably much wiser than you are in that respect :) Do lots of talking. You don't have to go anywhere particular -- if you'll enjoy talking with each other then the school corridor will be as good as any other place I guess. Then going to a "better" place, i.e. a nice park or somesuch will give you an additional "image boost".

Also, consider that a seemingly popular teen-age pastime of going to the movies, especially on first or second date, is quite useless. You're not gonna develop a relationship of any kind by sitting quietly in a theatre. You get no interaction unless noone minds you talking during the movie, that is.

As long as you are not too pushy and stay considerate of her having her own schedule, pursuits and interests, you should be doing fine. At least with a reasonable girl, that is.

BTDT wisdom follows. Although it may be a "touchy" subject, I'd suggest not being overly pushy when she has her period. Many women really suffer during those few days. With careful observation, you should be able to figure out when she has one. DON'T mention it, though, and certainly don't ask!! Not unless you're far more advanced in a relationship. Certainly don't try to throw a girl into a lake when she has her period. I almost did, and it only occurred to me later why she, a rather playful character, insisted at not being thrown into one. Feel free to have fun on my account now ;)

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

ah that damn Stewart book, "Canadian by the way" is the heaviest book i've ever had, i cant lift my back pack after puting that Goliath in there, especialy after i've stuck my laptop too, its giving me back achs and muscle spasms, oh the agony

[Xybot]

1 Figure out what you want.
2 Ask her if shes interested (forget any psychology or tactics, be straight up)
3 depending on 2 move on or move forward

*don't be half hearted or wishy washy

[DarkYoung]

Looking back to one of your earlier posts about her talking about another bloke in front of you, it's quite possible that she's a bit shy and she was telling you about her friend because no other topics of conversation sprang to mind. Some people are just name droppers.

Bear in mind, if you've never expressed any overt interest in her, and not spoken to her much, she's far less likely to be trying to make you jealous than to be simply stuck for something to say. Does she know what you're into - you did say that you knew each other a while ago, so reminiscing may be a good opener for conversations, but don't go too heavily down this road as it can get dull.

If she is trying to make you feel jealous, that's a good thing.

Also, I'd disagree with the boys about avoiding the friendship circle. I've been with my boyfriend now for 7 years and we started out as friends. If she's doing physics, then she's probably smart, so intelligent conversation is going to be something she'll enjoy. Plus, having the back up of mutual friends can make asking someone out easier - if they like both of you and are not interested in her (or you) themselves, they can help arrange opportunities and put in a good word, plus deter her from poor alternate candidates of the screw-em-and-screw-em-up variety. :cry:

Aside from that, chill out. Stop for brief chats occasionally, and try not to read into things she says or does - that can lead to confrontations that are mis-founded and generally classified as "creepy".

When you feel relaxed and confident talking to her, and aren't struggling to think of something to say, and a lot of mutual laughter is taking place, then that's the right time to ask her out on a date. She might not say yes, as 15 is a weird time to be a girl, but at least you've asked and all ghosts are put to rest. You have to be angry with someone to become contemptuous, and you aren't really over someone until you've gone through contempt and out the other side.

***SPOILER WARNING***

Big Secret:

Certainly for myself and most of my female friends, the guy that a girl spends ages complaining to about her current boyfriend or how all men are swine, is the guy she has a crush on. :blushing:

***SPOLIER OVER***

Anyway, that's my opinion. Good luck, though.

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

Big Secret:

Certainly for myself and most of my female friends, the guy that a girl spends ages complaining to about her current boyfriend or how all men are swine, is the guy she has a crush on. :blushing:

***SPOLIER OVER***


HOLY MOLY all my girl friends complain about there boyfrieds to me, they have always done thats but none of them EVER showed any interest in me, as soon as they got out of one relationship they hoped into another, sheesh

[Chrono]

HOLY MOLY all my girl friends complain about there boyfrieds to me, they have always done thats but none of them EVER showed any interest in me, as soon as they got out of one relationship they hoped into another, sheesh

You know what, I believe I have that same "problem". They keep going on about how much their boyfriends are losers. Of course, I always wonder why they go out with them even though they know they're losers, or at least think they are. I thought girls didn't like guys like that.

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

You know what, I believe I have that same "problem". They keep going on about how much their boyfriends are losers. Of course, I always wonder why they go out with them even though they know they're losers, or at least think they are. I thought girls didn't like guys like that.
me too, i was always secretly thinking in my head " SO WHY DONT YOU DUMP THE BASTARD AND GET SOMEONE DECENT" i mean it dont have to be me but quit *****in to me about it and do nothing to correct it. but NOOOOOOOOO they rather liver in misery, their choice

[Chrono]

me too, i was always secretly thinking in my head " SO WHY DONT YOU DUMP THE BASTARD AND GET SOMEONE DECENT" i mean it dont have to be me but quit *****in to me about it and do nothing to correct it. but NOOOOOOOOO they rather liver in misery, their choice

I know, man. I'm going to do that next time a girl does that to me.

[Evo]

***SPOILER WARNING***

Big Secret:

Certainly for myself and most of my female friends, the guy that a girl spends ages complaining to about her current boyfriend or how all men are swine, is the guy she has a crush on. :blushing:

***SPOLIER OVER***

Anyway, that's my opinion. Good luck, though.Hmmmm, I have to say that I never did that. If I didn't think a guy was right for me, I didn't go out with him, I certainly wouldn't continue to go out with a guy I didn't like and then whine to some other guy about it. Sorry, I just don't agree with this.

[Chronos]

Maybe she just didn't like you. Consider that as a possibility. No accounting for taste. I have met many girls who did not like me. I just cuss them for being stupid and I fall asleep. How hard is that? When I woke up in the morning, I was still me.

[Chrono]

Maybe she just didn't like you. Consider that as a possibility. No accounting for taste. I have met many girls who did not like me. I just cuss them for being stupid and I fall asleep. How hard is that? When I woke up in the morning, I was still me.

True. But, if you like for people to like you it can be a bit hard. Personally, if I know a girl already, I'd like for her to like me, and I don't mean for a relationship. But, if I didn't know her that well, I could care less. Chances are I'd even see them again anyway.

[PrudensOptimus]

No doubt! James Stewart's Calculus gave me the best biceps I've had in my life. :approve:
Get the multivariable edition if you really want to increase muscle mass.
I - V is multivariable... Always has been.

[Math Is Hard]

I - V is multivariable... Always has been.

Mine is just called "5e". It spans single and multivariable. I just weighed it on my bathroom scale -- it is 8 lbs if you include the solutions manual. By comparison, my stats text is 1.5 lbs, and my chem book is a puny 0.5 lbs (softcover). My philosophy book doesn't even budge the scale needle!

but I digress.. now back to more Girl Trouble! :rofl:

[jimmy p]

ooh girl trouble...

Last night I was out with some friends and stuff. Anyway there was a nice girl there, and she was giving all the come-on signs, and I wasnt be unobvious myself. But then she just grabs some random bloke who walked past and just got with him instead. It was most odd.

I'm out of luck :sad:

[Chrono]

I'm out of luck :sad:

At least you've had some, unlike me who's had none. :grumpy:

[jimmy p]

At least you've had some, unlike me who's had none. :grumpy:


Luck for me means that a girl will look in my general direction. Dont be so hard on yourself lol.

[BobG]

I think the best cover up for this comes from a comdy sketch by Billy Connolly. Simple stand up and shout that you have your 'buddy' standing up and then everyone else will be embarrased and not look. Works a charm, I know because my friend does it all the time and I have got used to it but everyone else looks horrified. It is hilarious. :rofl:

The Bob (2004 ©)
I've never understood why some people have to advertise their private matters. Back in my home town, I used to shake my head every time I drove by a certain billboard. Some guy was so insecure he put up a sign over some factory that read "Stanley's Tool Works". Sheesh. :rolleyes:

[PrudensOptimus]

ooh girl trouble...

Last night I was out with some friends and stuff. Anyway there was a nice girl there, and she was giving all the come-on signs, and I wasnt be unobvious myself. But then she just grabs some random bloke who walked past and just got with him instead. It was most odd.

I'm out of luck :sad:
Grabbed randomly? Sounds to me what you have just described there must be a sluttish coquette, ja?

[Chrono]

Grabbed randomly? Sounds to me what you have just described there must be a sluttish coquette, ja?

Ja, I agree.

[bjon-07]

If love is chemistry,
and sex is physics,
why aren't hard scienc majors good at relationships?

[graphic7]

There's times where I really despise my ex. She just put a pic up on her MSN profile with some guy. There's also times where I want to beat her with a meter stick. :rolleyes:

[Bad_Boy_Blue]

Who needs girls when you've got a completely functional right hand?

[Chrono]

If love is chemistry,
and sex is physics,
why aren't hard scienc majors good at relationships?

That kind of screws us math majors, doesn't it? :cry:

[The Bob]

Who needs girls when you've got a completely functional right hand?
Are you suggesting something???

The Bob (2004 ©)

[jimmy p]

I've never understood why some people have to advertise their private matters. Back in my home town, I used to shake my head every time I drove by a certain billboard. Some guy was so insecure he put up a sign over some factory that read "Stanley's Tool Works". Sheesh. :rolleyes:


Damn, why did I have to read that twice to get it??

[The Bob]

Damn, why did I have to read that twice to get it??
I am glad you do because I don't.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Chrono]

Damn, why did I have to read that twice to get it??

I read it three and a half times before I got it.

[PrudensOptimus]

If love is chemistry,
and sex is physics,
why aren't hard scienc majors good at relationships?
Quantum Physics...

[The Bob]

Just one thing I want to ask, I mean how many times have I answered others questions it is my turn.

I was wondering what you all thought on this:

Lets imagine you want to get your girlfriend/boyfriend a really meaningful present. Lets say you buy it and it cost £10 but it does mean the world to the other person, is it then wrong to then get your girlfriend/boyfriend a gift that is more expensive than the one that means more to teh other person?

I have thought about it and think it is alright, imagine a house and a necklace: the house is more expensive but the necklace is more likely to be more important to the person who owns it.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[The Bob]

Thanks for caring people. I ask one simple question that might take 3 seconds to reply to and I get nothing. Thanks a lot. :cry:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Chrono]

Thanks for caring people.

We do our best, Bob. :tongue2:

[Math Is Hard]

The Bob, if you buy me a house, I'll be your girlfriend :biggrin:

[The Bob]

The Bob, if you buy me a house, I'll be your girlfriend :biggrin:
It was purely an example, and I don't think I can afford it, and I was annoyed yesterday.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Math Is Hard]

It was purely an example, and I don't think I can afford it, and I was annoyed yesterday.The Bob (2004 ©)

So, The Bob, are you contemplating buying a gift for a girl friend? Is that what this is about?

[The Bob]

So, The Bob, are you contemplating buying a gift for a girl friend? Is that what this is about?
I am and I know what I think. I was just wondering what others thought. That was all. Never mind. Obviously not important.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Chrono]

and I was annoyed yesterday.

What'd we do?

[The Bob]

What'd we do?
You lot did nothing, it was some news I got and I didn't get any information from this site, and it has never let me down before so I was even more annoyed.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Tsu]

Shoot, Bob. I'm sorry if we made you feel uncared for. We LOVE ya man! REALLY!! :biggrin: I was going to respond yesterday when I read it, but I wanted some time to think about this one, because there are many aspects to it, but they KICKED MY BUTT at work last night, so I didn't back in to GD before now.

The answer really depends on the kind of girl she is, ya know what it mean? but, if I were your GF and you got me a really meaningful gift, the cost would not matter one bit. However, if you think you'd like to do something more, how about taking her out for a REAL nice, romantic dinner? THOSE are very meaningful, too! :wink: :smile:

[The Bob]

Shoot, Bob. I'm sorry if we made you feel uncared for. We LOVE ya man! REALLY!! :biggrin: I was going to respond yesterday when I read it, but I wanted some time to think about this one, because there are many aspects to it, but they KICKED MY BUTT at work last night, so I didn't back in to GD before now.
Don't worry about it. I was just in a bad mood. Sorry.

The answer really depends on the kind of girl she is, ya know what it mean? but, if I were your GF and you got me a really meaningful gift, the cost would not matter one bit. However, if you think you'd like to do something more, how about taking her out for a REAL nice, romantic dinner? THOSE are very meaningful, too! :wink: :smile:
I know that that would be meaningful but I can't because we will be away together with a lot of other people. We will be going to dinner and getting dressed up and that is when I want to give here a 6 months present. She already has a ring from me that she says 'She will never, ever take off' and she hasn't. What I am asking is if I get here a more expensive present, would it become more meaningful, because I don't want it to be.

Cheers Tsu. :smile:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Tsu]

I'm sure it won't become MORE meaningful, but it WILL become meaningful in it's own way (especially if it's a 6 month anniversary gift :biggrin:).

[The Bob]

I'm sure it won't become MORE meaningful, but it WILL become meaningful in it's own way (especially if it's a 6 month anniversary gift :biggrin:).
That is what I thought. I just needed some more opinions on the subject.

Cheers Aunt. :biggrin:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Chrono]

That is what I thought. I just needed some more opinions on the subject.

Feeling better now, Bob? :approve:

[The Bob]

Feeling better now, Bob? :approve:
Yes, thank you. :biggrin:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Chrono]

Yes, thank you. :biggrin:

Good. Now, let's bring back the girl trouble. Oh, wait, that was my job.

[jimmy p]

If you have read my journal you will find that there is a girl I like who may show interest in me. I asked her friend what she (the girl I like) thought of me. The answer was "When I ask her about you or say your name she goes all giggly and a bit red! Well sweet."

Does she like me or is she deeply embarrassed to know me?

[Chrono]

Does she like me or is she deeply embarrassed to know me?

Personally, Jimmy, I'd be deeply embarrassed to know you. But that's just me. :tongue2:

[BoulderHead]

So, can someone following this thread update me as to how many members have improved their game following the advice given?
(you need not reply with an exact number, I'm only asking if you could).

[Chrono]

So, can someone following this thread update me as to how many members have improved their game following the advice given?
(you need not reply with an exact number, I'm only asking if you could).

Personally, not really. However, I do know to come here if I ever need sympathy after being dumped unjustly. :shy:

[Tsu]

If you have read my journal you will find that there is a girl I like who may show interest in me. I asked her friend what she (the girl I like) thought of me. The answer was "When I ask her about you or say your name she goes all giggly and a bit red! Well sweet."

Does she like me or is she deeply embarrassed to know me?
SHE LIKES YOU!! ASK HER OUT!!!! :biggrin:

[Tsu]

I'd like to know how enigma is doing with his girl? Any luck enigma?

[Math Is Hard]

oh yeah - hey Enigma! What gives??!?? We want an update!

[jimmy p]

SHE LIKES YOU!! ASK HER OUT!!!! :biggrin:

Well... as a matter of fact... I did... and she said yes. We have been on a "date" to the pub and things are looking very good at the moment, we plan to meet up on Thursday and we have been talking loads. She is hot.. Andy has seen her. Wish me luck!!

[enigma]

oh yeah - hey Enigma! What gives??!?? We want an update!

:grumpy: Ugh... I had hoped everyone would forget and I could return to annonymity. :frown:

I don't really know what's going on... all I know is that I don't like it much.

So, she called and we made plans to "go out". My best friend and his wife had just finished remodeling their home and he - being the lush that he is - had bought a beer making kit (to go along with the full bar he put in). So they threw a housewarming / beermaking party. We went there, made some beer, drank some beer, watched a movie, drank some more beer. A good time was had by all. After several hours, I walked her back to her car, she hugged me goodbye, and left. That was it.

Similar situation the week after that. Spent some time with friends. Hug goodbye.

I'm not exactly thrilled about the situation, but I'm willing to play along for a while longer. We do talk once or twice a week, although never for more than 15 or 20 minutes. She calls me more often than I call her. I don't know how much contact she wants, so I'd rather leave the ball in her court.

I'm more than willing to be a gentleman. I can spend time with a girl without pressuring to do anything she's not ready for. I can go on a date without PDA or touching. What I don't think I can do is keep up the "keep the boy at arm's length all the time" thing that's been going on. I did that for a year or more with the ex (don't know when it started... just realized a year ago). All I know is I don't like it.

I'm going to play along for another week or two. If nothing changes, I'll bring up my concerns.

To make matters worse, I went over to the ex's place last Friday. I needed to get some things, and I was feeling crappy that I hadn't called her at all. She wanted to... erm... "have relations"

Not. Having. Any. Of. That. :grumpy:

[Chrono]

Dang, Enigma. Hope every goes well for you, there.

By the way, I've realized that there is an Axe effect. Maybe that will help? :rolleyes:

[DarkYoung]

J...is it then wrong to then get your girlfriend/boyfriend a gift that is more expensive than the one that means more to the other person?...

Of course not. In any long enough relationship, you're always going to hit the "perfect gift threshold" at some point, after which all occassions become this seething nightmare of trying to live up to what you got them last time. Large spends give you the scope to make a different kind of impression - that of what you were prepared to give up to buy it.

[DarkYoung]

...Similar situation the week after that. Spent some time with friends. Hug goodbye.

I'm not exactly thrilled about the situation, but I'm willing to play along for a while longer....

Go out just the two of you, not with friends.

[enigma]

Go out just the two of you, not with friends.

That was what caused the initial freak-out to begin with, unfortunately.

[BobG]

I feel guilty. So many with girl problems and the only thing I could contribute was a lame joke. I must make amends.

Maybe it would help to get your face out of the books for awhile and find out what women really want. It's no great mystery.

Women want a man who can dilate his eyes at will!

Women are very much into that communication thing we've heard so much about and nonverbal communication is the most effective type of communication there is. This is something you insctinctively know, even if you haven't quite put it into words.

Nonverbal communication conveys over 80% of the meaning transferred between two people (http://www.ciadvertising.org/studies/course/syllabi_grad/theory_readings/lar9c.pdf). Eye contact is the most important means of nonverbal communications. The eyes are commonly referred to as ‘the windows to the soul’ … sometimes uncomfortably so, as Ken Kesey suggested in “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” when he described the feeling of wandering around in the thick fog and suddenly coming across another person and seeing deep into each other’s souls before their eyes could react and having to look away from each other in embarrassment and shame. But, eye contact has a pleasant side, as well. As Ben said, “Drink to me only with thine eyes and I will pledge with mine.” Maintaining good eye contact conveys honesty, openness and genuine interest. The key to intimacy depends primarily upon the amount of time two people dilate their eyes simultaneously while making eye contact (http://members.aol.com/nonverbal2/lovesig3.htm). The goal is to build an intimacy with short, frequent ‘eye embraces’. Obviously, the more time spent making eye contact, the more often both individuals will accidentally happen to be dilating their eyes at the same time.

The more subtle, often overlooked aspect is how to increase the frequency and duration of eye dilation, thereby increasing the chances of simultaneous eye dilation. Everyone instinctively knows eye dilation is the primary message of intimacy (http://www.chass.utoronto.ca/epc/srb/cyber/zel4.html) even if they don’t verbalize it (eye contact is nonverbal communication, after all). Even though they may not voice this knowledge, they know the tricks of increasing eye dilation very well. The pupils naturally dilate in response to a lack of light, hence ‘romantic settings’ tend to be dimly lit. Candles are particularly effective. The variations in lighting allow one to unmistakably catch their partner dilating their eyes at him (or her). Alcohol (especially wine) and some other drugs dilate the eyes significantly (roofies, however, are definitely frowned upon). The body also responds to physical contact by dilating the eyes, especially non-threatening physical contact (touching a neutral portion of the body normally protected from contact, such as the inside of the upper arm, for example). While practicing good eye contact techniques naturally increase the chances of simultaneous eye contact, this method still relies upon a certain amount of random chance.

The chances of an intimate mood building to something more physical is directly proportional to the frequency and duration of mutual eye dilation (http://www.reid.com/materials-tip-may00.html). The most effective technique of increasing intimacy is to to get your mind working on the right side of your brain, kind of like the way Fernando Valenzuela breathes through his eyelids like a lava lizard (http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0094812/combined), maintain good eye contact to detect the eyes of your partner dilating, and instantaneously dilate your eyes in response. This increases the number of mutual eye dilations exponentially vs. the linear method normally employed by romantically inclined singles and builds the level of intimacy to a point where a more physical intimacy is inevitable.

[bbarrett]

You guys are approching this like a physics problem, then maybe I should explain it this way.all you need to know here is that opposites attract, and, That the angle of the dangle is directly proportionate to the heat of the meat! Just be yourself make her feel comfortable around you, if your not comfortable with yourself you better start there.; There is more to life then Physics, so go out and enjoy the world your studing so hard to understand mathmatically, and enjoy it physically!!!!

[Poobel]

Holy crap!!

This thread is almost a year old.. :bugeye:

This has nothing to do wiht the topic.. I just had to post in such an old thread :rofl:

[Chrono]

This thread is almost a year old

That just comes to show you that science guys like us have...girl trouble. :grumpy:

[Arctic Fox]

Holy crap!!

This thread is almost a year old.. :bugeye:

This has nothing to do wiht the topic.. I just had to post in such an old thread :rofl:


The girl is probably already married to someone else...

The guy is probably already in AA/rehab...

:D

[Saint]

Do you talk about sex when you first met a girl?
Will this scare her away ?

[Chrono]

The girl is probably already married to someone else...

Or at least already has a boyfriend. That's mostly been my problem in the past.

[lucianb]

awww man i started reading this thread and stopped at page 3, kinda like a soap opera,
so dude, did u get together with the girl? it's been 1 year :) should have :P

[Chrono]

Should've kept reading. I think he said that she moved somewhere. I can't really remember.

[franznietzsche]

Do you talk about sex when you first met a girl?
Will this scare her away ?


I'm assuming this is supposed to be funny.

If not: Unless she's a prostitute, probably.

[franznietzsche]

You guys are approching this like a physics problem, then maybe I should explain it this way.all you need to know here is that opposites attract, and, That the angle of the dangle is directly proportionate to the heat of the meat! Just be yourself make her feel comfortable around you, if your not comfortable with yourself you better start there.; There is more to life then Physics, so go out and enjoy the world your studing so hard to understand mathmatically, and enjoy it physically!!!!


Physics is to math, what sex is to masturbation.

That said, everything can be solved through physics, or careful cover up of "anomalous results."

[Chrono]

That said, everything can be solved through physics, or careful cover up of "anomalous results."

Physics does get me aroused, though. :biggrin: :rolleyes:

[The_Professional]

Do you talk about sex when you first met a girl?

NO


Will this scare her away ?

YES

[amwbonfire]

Lol, that's kinda a silly question... You don't meet a girl and say "What do you want to talk about? Sex?"

:rolleyes:

[Smurf]

.... I do....

[airbuzz]

Do you talk about sex when you first met a girl?
Will this scare her away ?

I tried to do like that some years ago. Just to do an investigation in women´s mind. :devil:
Obviously all the about 50 girls approached and talked about sex said NO, someone have also beaten me :cry:
So the answer is:
YES, i did it for fun, but NO, I don´t do it no more
NO, she will not be scared away, she will be very angry and she will beat you, so YOU WILL BE SCARED AWAY by her fury :yuck:

[Chrono]

I just avoid the topic unless they bring it up. Once that happens, I make all sorts of, I think, funny innuendos.

[Polly]

I don't even know why I am checking this thread AND even responding in the way I am going to. The only way a man can get his way, is by pretending to be interested in the things she is interested in - anything like babies, flower arrangement, family life, decoration,the Oprah show, anything that serves to show that he is into loving and caring and is a man of great warmth and affection and is likely to commit to a relationship (commitment - big for girls). At all times and I mean at ALL times, do not let your true intention slip. He who can pull this off for long enough is likely to get his own way.
Now why am I even telling a bunch of guys how to chase girls? :confused:

[Math Is Hard]

The only way a man can get his way, is by pretending to be interested in the things she is interested in - anything like babies, flower arrangement, family life, decoration,the Oprah show...

WOW! Except for the Oprah show reference, I thought I had time-travelled back to 1957 for a minute. :tongue: :rofl:

[Evo]

WOW! Except for the Oprah show reference, I thought I had time-travelled back to 1957 for a minute. :tongue: :rofl:I agree, except I don't even watch Oprah. :bugeye:

Pretending to be interested in things that the other likes is a very bad way to start out a relationship, it would work if you're looking for a one night stand, perhaps. Eventually the truth will come out and the results are never good.

[Chrono]

Pretending to be interested in things that the other likes is a very bad way to start out a relationship, it would work if you're looking for a one night stand, perhaps. Eventually the truth will come out and the results are never good.

I concur. Somehow, women will always find out the truth.

[The Bob]

I concur. Somehow, women will always find out the truth.
Yes, that is so true. Even if they beat it out of you or spend 7 hours and you give in finally. :smile:

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Arctic Fox]

I concur. Somehow, women will always find out the truth.

Hah! Try to find a girl who can even tell the truth... :surprised

[Polly]

:uhh: This place is getting scary......*runs for mama*

[Chrono]

Yes, that is so true. Even if they beat it out of you or spend 7 hours and you give in finally. :smile:

I think the latter happens a lot more than the former.

[amwbonfire]

First they try and beat it out, often with a stick. If that doesn't work, they try putting on an adorable face... like this:

:shy:

And they say please soooo nicely...

Dammit! They always win! :tongue2:

[Chrono]

If that doesn't work, they try putting on an adorable face

They're like kittens with the face thing, I swear. Like Puss In Boots from Shrek 2.

[PrudensOptimus]

The girl is probably already married to someone else...

The guy is probably already in AA/rehab...

:D
A little update...

For the swedish girl, I am not sure what her current stat is... still goes to same school...

For Girl #1, she has moved to reside in Texas. I still read her online live journals, seems to be nothing more than her daily life.

For the other girl, who resides in Missouri, she is living also a happy life. I heard she is training to become a dental assistant.

For me, I am in rehab yes. lol, mental rehab with myself. After thinking, girls aren't worth it. Think about it,... STD... those so easily transmitable diseases. sigh.

[enigma]

After thinking, girls aren't worth it. Think about it,... STD... those so easily transmitable diseases. sigh.

Oh yes... that's a brilliant excuse. :rolleyes:

The species has propagated just fine so far...

Let me guess... abstinence only sex ed?

[dekoi]

I don't like girls cause they have cooties.


edit: it seems so awkward to first discuss the concept of ethical values, the transcendental feeling of love, governmental conflicts, and ego-centricism and then type something like the top line. :rolleyes:

[Chrono]

For me, I am in rehab yes. lol, mental rehab with myself. After thinking, girls aren't worth it. Think about it,... STD... those so easily transmitable diseases. sigh.

I've taken a break from chasing girls (still looking of course). This semester in school has been the hardest yet. I figured I should get this over with first.

[PrudensOptimus]

My mother has always taught me to let the girls chase you insofar as they will take the initiative of getting know you, that is when you know you have the power of gravitation.

[masudr]

Dont "spy" on her, especially using her female friends. Girls share EVERYTHING among themselves. Tell her how you feel. It has to be done. If she get's the wrong impression, you'll be digging yourself out of that hole for months.

[Evo]

May lightning strike me dead if I ever consider dating anyone again...ever.

I'm fed up.

[Smurf]

Evo, I've liked you from the minute I saw you, will you go out with me? Pleeeaaseeee.

[Evo]

Evo, I've liked you from the minute I saw you, will you go out with me? Pleeeaaseeee.You have a death wish for me, eh?

[PrudensOptimus]

President Clinton visited us! Here are some pics i took:
http://www.hinst.net/~tom/album/clinton

[Evo]

President Clinton visited us! Here are some pics i took:
http://www.hinst.net/~tom/album/clintonLOL, it IS your thread.

ARE THERE NO NORMAL MEN OUT THERE???????

[Chrono]

May lightning strike me dead if I ever consider dating anyone again...ever.

I'm fed up.

I wouldn't mind dating your daughter, Evo.

[The Bob]

ARE THERE NO NORMAL MEN OUT THERE???????
Depending on your definition of normal, I consider myself a normal male, if your definition is the same as mine.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[The_Professional]

May lightning strike me dead if I ever consider dating anyone again...ever.

I'm fed up.

Don't lose hope. The first one is free, the second one isn't :wink:

craigslist.org
match.com

[Math Is Hard]

Don't lose hope. The first one is free, the second one isn't :wink:

craigslist.org
match.com

Funny that you mentioned that. A friend of mine just got engaged to a woman he met through that eharmony site.
Personally, I have always been skeptical about those personality matching tests that the dating services tout, but heck, maybe there's something to it after all.

[The_Professional]

Funny that you mentioned that. A friend of mine just got engaged to a woman he met through that eharmony site.
Personally, I have always been skeptical about those personality matching tests that the dating services tout, but heck, maybe there's something to it after all.

I believe that gals have more of a shot than guys. Because you do the choosing. But like in business it's a numbers game, so the more you put yourself out there, the better your chances.

I'm very skeptical of e-harmony, it would be interesting to see more info on how many couple got married and/or still happily together.

[Poobel]

Man.. your school is freaking huge!!

*offtop - I shoock hands with Bill Clinton back when he was President of USA. :P
Anyone can beat that? :biggrin:

[drag]

Tell her how you feel. It has to be done. If she get's the wrong impression, you'll be digging yourself out of that hole for months.
Can't view 70+ pages :biggrin: , but that's ussualy a very bad move.
Let her go there first. If she doesn't, at least you won't ruin the possibility
for less serious relations.

[Moonbear]

Lol, that's kinda a silly question... You don't meet a girl and say "What do you want to talk about? Sex?"

:rolleyes:

Have any of you guys seen that TV show "Blind Date?" It's horrid, but one of the few things on TV in the wee hours of the morning when the other channels all have infomercials. The guys on that show seem to think that's a perfectly normal thing to discuss on a first date. No wonder they are so desperate they have to go on a blind date on national TV to get a woman to go out with them! The women really aren't much better on that show, don't think I'm being biased here, but the women don't usually bring up the topic of sex, they end up doing other crude things (there was one who spent most of the date burping...I think she needs to see a gastroenterologist before going on any more dates).

[Chrono]

Have any of you guys seen that TV show "Blind Date?" It's horrid.

I agree. The Bachelor, Elimidate, and the Fifth Wheel are the same. I don't know how people like that stuff. Now, there was one show on MTV that I loved to watch. Taildaters.

[Evo]

I've seen Blind Date, Elimidate and Fifth Wheel and it's frightening that people that clueless are out there. Where do they find these losers? :yuck:

[Moonbear]

I've seen Blind Date, Elimidate and Fifth Wheel and it's frightening that people that clueless are out there. Where do they find these losers? :yuck:

I don't know where they find them, but those losers seem to find me all the time! They are amazingly prevalent in the places I've lived.

[loseyourname]

The guys on that show seem to think that's a perfectly normal thing to discuss on a first date.

What the heck's so wrong with discussing sex on a first date?

[The Bob]

What the heck's so wrong with discussing sex on a first date?
A bit off putting, don't you think???

The Bob (2004 ©)

[Moonbear]

What the heck's so wrong with discussing sex on a first date?

Nothing if you're an Arabian prince talking about breeding your thorobreds or polo ponies, or if its in a conversation about political implications of moral attitudes about sex, but on a first date, especially when it's a blind date with someone you know NOTHING about yet, it comes across pretty crass and off-putting if they are talking about numbers of partners, amount of sexual experience, and already asking for it. It pretty much says the guy isn't interested in anything other than getting laid. They also have the annoying habit of talking about all of their ex's (both the men and women do this). That's really tacky. Nobody on a first date wants to hear about the last person you just broke up with unless you intend to warn them you aren't over it yet, because that's what it says.

First date rules are a bit different when you already know someone before starting to date "officially." Then the date isn't about getting to know each other but getting to know each other on a new level.

[The_Professional]

Nothing if you're an Arabian prince talking about breeding your thorobreds or polo ponies, or if its in a conversation about political implications of moral attitudes about sex, but on a first date, especially when it's a blind date with someone you know NOTHING about yet, it comes across pretty crass and off-putting if they are talking about numbers of partners, amount of sexual experience, and already asking for it. It pretty much says the guy isn't interested in anything other than getting laid. They also have the annoying habit of talking about all of their ex's (both the men and women do this). That's really tacky. Nobody on a first date wants to hear about the last person you just broke up with unless you intend to warn them you aren't over it yet, because that's what it says.


I agree. To me it's very irritating, even I don't want to hear a woman say how many guys she's slept with, and on a first date is even worse.

I cannot count the number of times the guy blew it on that show by talking and hinting the topic of sex.

[The Bob]

I cannot count the number of times the guy blew it on that show by talking and hinting the topic of sex.
Most men are stupid in this area.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[bjon-07]

This seems like the best place to ask this question?

Should I tell my best friend who I have only know for a semster that I am in madly love with her? We are good friends, we do stuff together every weekend and hang out to gether all day inbetween classes.

I have told her before that I like her, but I have never told her I that I love her. I know that she has never had a boyfriend before and claims that she does not currenly want one. She does have a girl friend right now thought, but she goes to a different school.

If I do this do you think it could jeperize our friendship?

Would that be selfish on my part knowing that it might make her feel bad, if she does does not want to be more than friends?

[Evo]

This seems like the best place to ask this question?

Should I tell my best friend who I have only know for a semster that I am in madly love with her? We are good friends, we do stuff together every weekend and hang out to gether all day inbetween classes.

I have told her before that I like her, but I have never told her I that I love her. I know that she has never had a boyfriend before and claims that she does not currenly want one. She does have a girl friend right now thought, but she goes to a different school.

If I do this do you think it could jeperize our friendship?

Would that be selfish on my part knowing that it might make her feel bad, if she does does not want to be more than friends?From what you describe here, I wouldn't proclaim your love for her outright at this point. Usually you can tell if the other person has the same feelings for you. It could make her feel awkward and hurt the friendship you currently have. If you feel that inspite of what she has said she might have deeper feelings for you, keep making stronger hints of your feelings, and watching her reactions, but be ready to back off if she shows no interest.

[Moonbear]

I have to agree with Evo. If you proclaim you love her, you might scare her off! Besides, if you have only known her a semester and haven't even been dating yet, it might be more of an infatuation than love (it almost always is).

[Evo]

For the "dating impaired", here's an article. :biggrin:

'Wingperson' Becomes Commodity in Dating

CHICAGO - Two friends are at a party when one sees a potential love interest across the room. Immediately, the other friend swoops into action, making an introduction and helping to keep the conversation going — all so the buddy can score a phone number.

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20041214/ap_on_re_us/wingin__it

[Moonbear]

I thought the job of the "wingman" was to distract the potential love interest's less attractive girlfriend while his buddy went for the good-looking one?

[Chrono]

I thought the job of the "wingman" was to distract the potential love interest's less attractive girlfriend while his buddy went for the good-looking one?

I thought that was called a sacrifice. :wink:

[Evo]

A good "wingman" should be able to provide multiple services.

[Moses]

One of the reasons that destoys my relation with the only girl i loved is becuase of a F***** "Wingfly", i was too stupid to take him like that, even he was having a girl friend, he was trying to let mine cheat with him in my back, he did not got anything, and lose his girlfriend. And mine believed him in some issues, since he is the "close" one to me since she got to know me, and now it is really horrible [we are in two different countries now, and no-contact for over six months :bugeye:] Now i am hardly trusting myself in such an issues, and i am not exaggerating, serouisly.

Liers are losers, crap be on back-stappers :grumpy: :mad: :devil:

[bjon-07]

I know that its not infatuation because it is more than a sexual attraction. I truley see her as one of my best friends. I know that she is against the concpet/conformitiy of dating. I am pretty sure that she likes me, we constanlty play fight.

Even if we are never more than friends that would not really bother me because I love her as a friend

[Moonbear]

Okay, guys, here's one big tip for you on how to get the girl...persistence, flattery and limericks! :biggrin: You have a master in your presence...watch the guy with the big pink tag under his name. :blushing: :!!)

[Chrono]

Okay, guys, here's one big tip for you on how to get the girl...persistence, flattery and limericks! :biggrin: You have a master in your presence...watch the guy with the big pink tag under his name. :blushing: :!!)

I can do the persistence thing. The flattery, somewhat. I haven't done the limericks thing, yet. You may have to tell me a bit more about how to do that.

[Andromeda321]

Chrono, I'd translate the limmericks bit into more a "make her smile and laugh" type thing. Trust me, there are few things that attract me to a guy as much as his ability to make me smile.

[Moonbear]

Chrono, I'd translate the limmericks bit into more a "make her smile and laugh" type thing. Trust me, there are few things that attract me to a guy as much as his ability to make me smile.

Yes, Andromeda is right about that. If you're not any good at writing limericks, it sure won't help. But, I'll take that a step further...it's not just the ability to make her laugh, but to make her laugh at the end of a very long day when she isn't already in a good mood. Consider it self-defense...if you can find a way to cheer her up rather than get your head bitten off when she's in a bad mood, you'll have the most wonderful relationship. :approve:

[Chrono]

Yes, Andromeda is right about that. If you're not any good at writing limericks, it sure won't help. But, I'll take that a step further...it's not just the ability to make her laugh, but to make her laugh at the end of a very long day when she isn't already in a good mood. Consider it self-defense...if you can find a way to cheer her up rather than get your head bitten off when she's in a bad mood, you'll have the most wonderful relationship. :approve:

I get it! I try to make everyone laugh, really. Mostly by acting stupid. Don't know if that's the way to go or not, but it works...ocassionally.

[Moonbear]

I get it! I try to make everyone laugh, really. Mostly by acting stupid. Don't know if that's the way to go or not, but it works...ocassionally.

It isn't so much "trying" to make them laugh as it is whether you actually accomplish it. If you try too hard, it can just be annoying. Are they actually laughing? Then again, it might just be a matter of finding the one who shares your sense of humor.

[Chrono]

Then again, it might just be a matter of finding the one who shares your sense of humor.

Yeah, that might help. But I don't think that's much of a problem. I'm pretty quick to catch when I should stop. I'm not totally clueless, now. :biggrin:

[Moonbear]

Yeah, that might help. But I don't think that's much of a problem. I'm pretty quick to catch when I should stop. I'm not totally clueless, now. :biggrin:

Well, had to ask...some guys are that clueless, and better to get a clue from the friendly folks at PF than from some jerk out on the street, right? :biggrin:

[Chrono]

Well, had to ask...some guys are that clueless, and better to get a clue from the friendly folks at PF than from some jerk out on the street, right? :biggrin:

Or a slap in the face for doing something totally wrong.

[Smurf]

I have girl trouble now too, I asked out a girl and she said 'no, I want to get to know you better first" and now she's teasing me, we're supposed to be going to a movie this weekend with some other friends and she says she wants to 'go somewhere alone' afterwards but 'not like that'.

I don't get it, is she just playing with me for amusment or is she genuinly messed up?

[Moonbear]

I have girl trouble now too, I asked out a girl and she said 'no, I want to get to know you better first" and now she's teasing me, we're supposed to be going to a movie this weekend with some other friends and she says she wants to 'go somewhere alone' afterwards but 'not like that'.

I don't get it, is she just playing with me for amusment or is she genuinly messed up?

I think either answer to your question leads to the same conclusion. Okay, that truly is bizarre. What does she think the point of dating is if not to get to know someone better? You don't have girl trouble, you have a troubled girl. Sorry, Smurf, I have no advice at all to help with that one, other than to keep your eyes open for something better.

[Smurf]

heh, what I was just thinking.

[The_Professional]

I have girl trouble now too, I asked out a girl and she said 'no, I want to get to know you better first" and now she's teasing me, we're supposed to be going to a movie this weekend with some other friends and she says she wants to 'go somewhere alone' afterwards but 'not like that'.

I don't get it, is she just playing with me for amusment or is she genuinly messed up?

If a girl likes you she wants to be with you. I know that's hard to comprehend but it's true. From the evidence you gave yes, she's just teasing you. I won't lose sleep over it

I have to give her credit though, with the kind of excuses she told you. She'd definitely make a good lawyer someday!

[Poobel]

This seems like a proper place to ask:

-What subject(s) to avoid during a conversation while on a date?

-What should not be brought up on a date? (Obviously not your previous relationship, or the size of your penis)

Just wanna make sure that I won't mess up. There's an old russian saying: "Бережёного Бог бережёт" which means that "One who is cautious will be protected by God" and which literally means that if you are cautious, then you won't get in trouble.

Thanks.

[Chrono]

-What should not be brought up on a date?

I've always felt that you should just get to know your date. Ask what her interests are and stuff like that.

Any ladies disagree with that? I'm sure I only hit on a fraction of the answer.

[Smurf]

Don't bring up sex on the first date, thats for sure.

[The Bob]

Don't bring up sex on the first date, thats for sure.
Don't even think about it until you are married.

The Bob (2004 ©)

[PrudensOptimus]

Congratulations ladies and gentlemen,

I believe it is safe to say that we have made this thread the most popular in its category.

-

[cragwolf]

Just wanna make sure that I won't mess up. There's an old russian saying: "Бережёного Бог бережёт" which means that "One who is cautious will be protected by God" and which literally means that if you are cautious, then you won't get in trouble.

Yeah, like a nun. Or a monk. o:)

Don't even think about it until you are married.

Hell, don't even think about it until you are dead. :uhh:

There are no rules when it comes to the game of love. Good luck.

[Chrono]

Congratulations ladies and gentlemen,

I believe it is safe to say that we have made this thread the most popular in its category.


I think the congratulations goes to you.

[PrudensOptimus]

Are your insides ringing bells recently? :D

[PrudensOptimus]

OK. Time to revive this thread.

[Mk]

lol. What now? I remember back when this thread just started. In fact, it was the first thread I ever read in GD...

[end3r7]

So is it a bad sign when your brother chooses your best friend to be a wingman instead of you? =/

[Chrono]

lol. What now? I remember back when this thread just started. In fact, it was the first thread I ever read in GD...

Yeah, I remember those times as well.

[rocketboy]

OK. Time to revive this thread.

lol, i started reading it and read the first page before realizing it was like 2 years ago....too lazy (and i have better stuff to do, ie studying for physics exam) than to search through the thread and find out what happened.....so PrudensOPtimus, how did things turn out?

[PrudensOptimus]

Well,,

Since everyone is participating in this "Girl Trouble" discussion,

I am not the only subject :D


But to update my status,

I've just accepted into Stanford, California.

And seems like my "trouble" is really related to my personality -- "Good people finish last."

[rocketboy]

Well,,
Since everyone is participating in this "Girl Trouble" discussion,
I am not the only subject :D
But to update my status,
I've just accepted into Stanford, California.
And seems like my "trouble" is really related to my personality -- "Good people finish last."

congrats to stanford! That's certainly an accomplishment and a half!

No, ur definately not the only subject...we will never understand women, they're like the origin of the universe, we strive to understand it but as of yet we are nowhere near accomplishing this feat, there have been numerous theories, none right, none wrong. :approve:

[Chrono]

No, ur definately not the only subject...we will never understand women, they're like the origin of the universe, we strive to understand it but as of yet we are nowhere near accomplishing this feat, there have been numerous theories, none right, none wrong. :approve:

I've told this to so many people - advanced calculus is a lot easier than women.

[TheStatutoryApe]

I've told this to so many people - advanced calculus is a lot easier than women.
I've met women as easy as subtraction and addition. :tongue:

[Moonbear]

Okay, I'll tell you all again what I've told you all before...just ask the girl/woman out! :rolleyes: I was out at Pleasure Island in Downtown Disney tonight, and there was this very cute, slightly geeky guy there dancing. I sent him all the signals, including moving to within about a foot of the guy dancing, he kept looking up at his buddies and I could see they were giving him the "go ahead man, she's into you" looks/signals, yet the guy just kept shying away. Instead, some other, more creepy, but more confident guy came up and ended up dancing with me, and I really wish the geeky guy would have come back onto the dance floor.

[-Job-]

Maybe you should've followed your own advice and asked him to dance with you. :tongue2:

[Chrono]

Instead, some other, more creepy, but more confident guy came up and ended up dancing with me, and I really wish the geeky guy would have come back onto the dance floor.

So....why not just ask him out yourself, then?

[The_Professional]

Okay, I'll tell you all again what I've told you all before...just ask the girl/woman out! :rolleyes: I was out at Pleasure Island in Downtown Disney tonight, and there was this very cute, slightly geeky guy there dancing. I sent him all the signals, including moving to within about a foot of the guy dancing, he kept looking up at his buddies and I could see they were giving him the "go ahead man, she's into you" looks/signals, yet the guy just kept shying away. Instead, some other, more creepy, but more confident guy came up and ended up dancing with me, and I really wish the geeky guy would have come back onto the dance floor.

he missed out :rolleyes: you should've sent the "come here i don't bite signal".

[Smasherman]

First of all, I'm not gonna read over 1k posts, so this is based off of page 81 (before my post...).

btw, good guys don't exactly finish last, they just tend to. Moonbear is entirely right that you just need to ask the girl/woman out. You pretty much need to be confident + attractive (not necessarily physically attractive to a large degree, but being ugly is definitely a negative). Of course, this is coming from a guy who is nearly always single (then again, my theory encompasses this reality perfectly).

edit: girl/woman Sorry, but I deal nearly entirely with females under the age of 18, so they can't complain when I call them girls, since of course they call me a boy. Also I'm sorry because I don't wanna hit a nerve.

[Mk]

he missed out :rolleyes: you should've sent the "come here i don't bite signal".
I like the "flashing-the-headlights signal"

[Astronuc]

Okay, I'll tell you all again what I've told you all before...just ask the girl/woman out! :rolleyes: I was out at Pleasure Island in Downtown Disney tonight, and there was this very cute, slightly geeky guy there dancing. I sent him all the signals, including moving to within about a foot of the guy dancing, he kept looking up at his buddies and I could see they were giving him the "go ahead man, she's into you" looks/signals, yet the guy just kept shying away. Instead, some other, more creepy, but more confident guy came up and ended up dancing with me, and I really wish the geeky guy would have come back onto the dance floor. Men. :rolleyes: :rofl:

Moonbear, I guess you didn't have your lasso. So, how come you didn't just tackle the guy? :biggrin:

[rocketboy]

Okay, I'll tell you all again what I've told you all before...just ask the girl/woman out! :rolleyes: I was out at Pleasure Island in Downtown Disney tonight, and there was this very cute, slightly geeky guy there dancing. I sent him all the signals, including moving to within about a foot of the guy dancing, he kept looking up at his buddies and I could see they were giving him the "go ahead man, she's into you" looks/signals, yet the guy just kept shying away. Instead, some other, more creepy, but more confident guy came up and ended up dancing with me, and I really wish the geeky guy would have come back onto the dance floor.

That's me every time i go to a dance type event....cept i don't look geeky lol.

[Moonbear]

he missed out :rolleyes: you should've sent the "come here i don't bite signal".
I pretty much did everything EXCEPT tell him straight out to dance with me...I was already moving his way and dancing facing him and giving him my best "I'm interested" look. :rolleyes: From past experience, I've learned that I need to let the guys make that final move so they think they've done the asking. Oh well, it's always possible he just wasn't interested, and if he's that bad at picking up on social cues, he probably wasn't worth pursuing much further anyway. The odds weren't great anyway...the male:female ratio was far too low.

[Moonbear]

Men. :rolleyes: :rofl:
Moonbear, I guess you didn't have your lasso. So, how come you didn't just tackle the guy? :biggrin:
Actually, if he hadn't left while I was in the restroom (my excuse to escape the Lenny the Lounge Lizard guy who started dancing with me), I was going to pass by him on my way back and strike up a conversation. Oh well, he missed his chance. :tongue2:

[Astronuc]

Actually, if he hadn't left while I was in the restroom (my excuse to escape the Lenny the Lounge Lizard guy who started dancing with me), I was going to pass by him on my way back and strike up a conversation. Oh well, he missed his chance. :tongue2: As Archangel (ask Evo) to the PF Sisters, how about next time I'll be your wingman. That way I can keep away the flies, while you concentrate on the target(s). Hey, wasn't Zz supposed to be doing that this trip? :cool:

[Moonbear]

As Archangel (ask Evo) to the PF Sisters, how about next time I'll be your wingman. That way I can keep away the flies, while you concentrate on the target(s). Hey, wasn't Zz supposed to be doing that this trip? :cool:
He was too tired and went to sleep early. :rolleyes:

[The_Professional]

I pretty much did everything EXCEPT tell him straight out to dance with me...I was already moving his way and dancing facing him and giving him my best "I'm interested" look. :rolleyes:

i was being facetious. he's probably waiting for a message from god.

[TheStatutoryApe]

From past experience, I've learned that I need to let the guys make that final move so they think they've done the asking.
Some guys like it when the girl comes onto them.
Personally just about every girl I have dated came after me. I've found that most girls that are interested in me will come after me and just about every girl that I go after is not interested. As a result I very rarely try to pick up on girls anymore. My last serious girlfriend was actually really bothered when I told her that had she not made a move on me I probably would not have made one on her. I also told her that looking back on it the only reason I think I was so comfortable with her during the "courting" stage was that I thought she was so amazing a woman that she would never really be interested in me. I assumed that she would just think I was a nice guy and we would wind up friends so the pressure was never there. In the end I was right and I never really was what she wanted, she just thought I was.

[Smasherman]

Since this is a girl trouble thread, and no one whom I direct to this site ever actually comes here, I'm going to describe my problem. For those of you who I know in real life, bugger off (but not in a mean way).

I'm interested in a girl who has a boyfriend. She gives me reason to believe she's interested in me, too. We have occasional conversations and recently had lunch together (at a restaurant, not school). She casually mentioned doing so again (she casually mentioned going out to eat the first time, too. I asked, though). She manages to mention her boyfriend about once in every conversation we have that lasts over 10 minutes.

My current strategy is to not push her to make any serious decisions. Part of this is courtesy (I'd rather not mess things up, plus her boyfriend seems cool from what I've seen), and part of it is because she seems to have a fairly long-standing relationship (she refers to her boyfriend's father with a casual name). Basically, I think she'd choose him at this point.

So... any ideas on what she's thinking, and what's likely to happen in the near future?

[dicerandom]

Smasherman:

If you're really interested in this girl you should keep up with your current course of action. Talk with her, hang out, get lunch or whatever, and let her know (in little ways) that you're interested. Maybe she'll break up with her bf and then you two could have something together. Be advised that this is an extremely dangerous path though, it's quite possible that she will continue on with her current relationship and you'll be stuck waiting around. It is up to you to re-evaluate the situation periodically.

Having said that, let me offer one more piece of advise. Never, ever, ever go out with a someone who will cheat on their current SO to be with you. They will end up cheating on you at some later time. I've walked down that road more times than I care to admit and it always ends in tears.

[TheStatutoryApe]

So... any ideas on what she's thinking, and what's likely to happen in the near future?
I think that you are likely to be gentleman enough to decide it on your own but I'll start off by saying that you should not be involved with her romantically at all unless she is single.
With that said it is possible that she is just interested in being friends. I couldn't really say for sure unless I were to see how she is with you myself. I do know though that I have thought certain women were interested in me before only to find out later that they were just being friendly. I once even had a lady tell me that I was going to spend the night at her place. Up to this she had always asked me to call her to get together and hang out. She prefered spending time alone with me. Pretty much all the things that you would think a lady who is interested in you would say. When I asked her out on a real date she told me she just wanted to be friends lol. This is one of those reasons why, as I mentioned above, I don't go after women anymore.
So I would say go ahead and spend time with her but don't consider her a potential girlfriend. At some point if she does anything that gives you a very strong impression that she is interested in you, or if she has already, I think it would be fair and apropriate enough for you to ask her straight out what her intentions are. In as polite and unobtrusive a manner as possible while still being clear and straight forward. The fact that she is involved with someone dissolves the whole courting process where you generally aren't supposed to ask a woman what her intentions are. It makes the situation more of a problem that needs to be resolved and allows for being upfront. If she is interested in you then she obviously has issues with her relationship and you (should) have issues with being a distraction to her.
If you are at all considering involving yourself with her I would say make absolutely sure that she is single first and be careful because you could easly wind up a meaningless fling or having her do the same to you (start seeing someone else while she's seeing you).

[Astronuc]

Smasherman,

I concur with dicerandom and TSA. As long as this woman has a 'boyfriend', then you should consider your relationship as a friendship and nothing more. I couldn't say more without knowing how serious her relationship is with a boyfriend.

If one breaks a relationship because something better comes along, then that would a warning that it might happen again.

[Smasherman]

Thanks for the advise. It's good to know I'm not doing anything terribly wrong.

TheStatuatoryApe, I recently (several months ago) had pretty much the same situation you had with a girl giving numerous signs, and then only wanting to be friends.

As to whether or not she'd cheat... I don't know. I hope not.

Also I'm not focusing entirely on her, just mostly, so I'm not too worried about being stuck waiting around. I've done that too many times...

Thinking about it, she might consider me just a friend and never anything more, or maybe just a friend because she's already in a relationship. Either way I intend to keep the status quo (I think that's the term). I DO enjoy just talking to her, so friendship is acceptable (just not preferable).

[Bladibla]

I don't get anything that's happening on this thread. :confused: :confused:

All i have concluded is that the OP was accepted to stanford.

[___]

My girl trouble:
The problem is not that I am in love, but it is that I'm not in love.
There is this girl called Jade, in my class. Altough I dont really love her, don't really care about her, my friends think I do. But wait, thats not the end of the story. They even announced it to the whole class! I tried as hard as I could to stop them and make her believe that I didn't really love her, but she didn't believe me. She went out of the class exclaiming "f'ing pervert!". I didn't give up, kept on trying. She then said "ok! ok! I know". But the way she started to behave with me after that, makes me really uncomfortable. I,m too shy to even go in front of her.

[Mk]

Well jeez, what if she likes you? And you kept telling her no no no.

Your friends suck. Why'd they do that?

Jade is a nice name. Where are you? :devil:

[-Job-]

What's with the "f'ing pervert!" thing? Is that how girls react to this data nowadays?

[mattmns]

Yeah that is a weird reaction. Sounds like something a 5th grade girl would say. How old are you?

[Moonbear]

Some guys like it when the girl comes onto them.
Personally just about every girl I have dated came after me. I've found that most girls that are interested in me will come after me and just about every girl that I go after is not interested. As a result I very rarely try to pick up on girls anymore. My last serious girlfriend was actually really bothered when I told her that had she not made a move on me I probably would not have made one on her. I also told her that looking back on it the only reason I think I was so comfortable with her during the "courting" stage was that I thought she was so amazing a woman that she would never really be interested in me. I assumed that she would just think I was a nice guy and we would wind up friends so the pressure was never there. In the end I was right and I never really was what she wanted, she just thought I was.

Unfortunately, I haven't had the same experience...when I ask guys out, it seems to put them off. But, I think it's more of a meeting halfway thing...a guy won't want to ask a woman out if she's not showing ANY interest in him, but if she pretty much does everything BUT do the asking, then it's clear he can ask if interested. Actually, all that guy at the club had to do was move a little closer while I was facing him dancing and we'd have been dancing together. :rolleyes: I think he was thinking of it and got scared off when that other guy started dancing with me. I would have loved for him to cut in and "rescue" me from the sharks.

[rocketboy]

Ok, now that I've calmed down I can get this out. I guess it's not HORRIBLE but I am pretty dissapointed in myself.

So first of all, I like this girl named Brittany. We've been planning on getting together for quite awhile, and finally tonight we were both free, so I invited her skating on the Ottawa Canal. (Worlds longest skating rink). So I picked her up at 7, and we went. I ended up parking about a 25 minute walk from the canal, but thats irrelevant. So we get to the canal, put on our skates, and go skating. It was a really great time, we talked, laughed, flirted (both ways) and had a lot of fun. By the end of the skate we were holding hands, and on the walk back to the car we had our arms around each other.

It was all going perfectly.

Then I drive her home, and in the driveway I go to kiss her, but it turns into me just hugging her. Now that wouldn't be so bad, but when I hugged her I heard teh sound of her lips makin the "smooch" where my lips SHOULD have been....:devil: :cry: :devil: :cry:

Now what is she going to think? Girls like guys with confidence, guys who make the move and DON"T **** it up. I would kill to know what she is thinking right now. Probably something like "why didn't he want to kiss me?"

i need advice...i really like her....god, her looks, her smell, her personality.....and i know she likes me cuz her little sister stole the phone when she was away from it and told me so. grrrrrrrrr.....

[Moonbear]

Having said that, let me offer one more piece of advise. Never, ever, ever go out with a someone who will cheat on their current SO to be with you. They will end up cheating on you at some later time. I've walked down that road more times than I care to admit and it always ends in tears.
This is a tough call. A lot of people tend to hedge their bets and start dating someone new before they've dumped the previous person...sort of checking that the new one is really worth leaving the old one for. I guess it depends on what you call cheating and whether there's any physical intimacy involved. But, it seems the advice being given is reasonable. Take it slow. If she's interested and leaves the other guy, great, and if she doesn't, then you haven't done anything to embarrass yourself or make it awkward to just be friends if that's all she intended.

[Moonbear]

Ok, now that I've calmed down I can get this out. I guess it's not HORRIBLE but I am pretty dissapointed in myself.
So first of all, I like this girl named Brittany. We've been planning on getting together for quite awhile, and finally tonight we were both free, so I invited her skating on the Ottawa Canal. (Worlds longest skating rink). So I picked her up at 7, and we went. I ended up parking about a 25 minute walk from the canal, but thats irrelevant. So we get to the canal, put on our skates, and go skating. It was a really great time, we talked, laughed, flirted (both ways) and had a lot of fun. By the end of the skate we were holding hands, and on the walk back to the car we had our arms around each other.
It was all going perfectly.
Then I drive her home, and in the driveway I go to kiss her, but it turns into me just hugging her. Now that wouldn't be so bad, but when I hugged her I heard teh sound of her lips makin the "smooch" where my lips SHOULD have been....:devil: :cry: :devil: :cry:
Now what is she going to think? Girls like guys with confidence, guys who make the move and DON"T **** it up. I would kill to know what she is thinking right now. Probably something like "why didn't he want to kiss me?"
i need advice...i really like her....god, her looks, her smell, her personality.....and i know she likes me cuz her little sister stole the phone when she was away from it and told me so. grrrrrrrrr.....
Oh, that sounds like a wonderful date! Nothing wrong with a hug rather than being too forward and kissing in case that's not what she wanted. Now you know she did want the kiss, so....call back right away and ask for another date! It sounds like it went well and if she has any doubts, calling her and asking for a second date will get rid of them. And, you can kiss her on the second date. For future reference, the best approach at the end of a first date, when you're not entirely sure if you should kiss or not is to simply ask, "May I have a goodnight kiss?" If she isn't ready for a kiss, she'll offer, "How about a hug?" and if she does want the kiss, you'll get one. Heck, she might have even found it more endearing that you weren't too forward and a kiss on the cheek was appropriate for a first date.

[dicerandom]

This is a tough call. A lot of people tend to hedge their bets and start dating someone new before they've dumped the previous person...sort of checking that the new one is really worth leaving the old one for.

See, I don't subscribe to that practice. Call me old fashioned. That's not what I meant by cheating though, hanging out and going out to dinner or lunch is simply that as far as I'm concerned. If the intention is to 'scope out new ground,' however, that is dishonest towards your SO at the very least.


I guess it depends on what you call cheating and whether there's any physical intimacy involved.

Sorry, I should have mentioned that when writing that I most certainly had physical intimacy in mind.

[___]

Well jeez, what if she likes you? And you kept telling her no no no.
Her behavior says "No", so does her "f'ing pervert"
Your friends suck. Why'd they do that?
Jade is a nice name. Where are you? :devil:
Guam USA. :biggrin:
How old are you?
14
And by the way, there are 2 girls waiting in line for me, which are better than Jade.

[The_Professional]

Ok, now that I've calmed down I can get this out. I guess it's not HORRIBLE but I am pretty dissapointed in myself.
So first of all, I like this girl named Brittany. We've been planning on getting together for quite awhile, and finally tonight we were both free, so I invited her skating on the Ottawa Canal. (Worlds longest skating rink). So I picked her up at 7, and we went. I ended up parking about a 25 minute walk from the canal, but thats irrelevant. So we get to the canal, put on our skates, and go skating. It was a really great time, we talked, laughed, flirted (both ways) and had a lot of fun. By the end of the skate we were holding hands, and on the walk back to the car we had our arms around each other.
It was all going perfectly.
Then I drive her home, and in the driveway I go to kiss her, but it turns into me just hugging her. Now that wouldn't be so bad, but when I hugged her I heard teh sound of her lips makin the "smooch" where my lips SHOULD have been....:devil: :cry: :devil: :cry
The Proper Execution Of The First Kiss (http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_100/131_relationship_expert.html)


Don't try to justify your actions with a compliment. Don't try to excuse or explain what you're about to do. Don't try to motivate her by telling her how much you like her. Don't ask her for permission to kiss her, which she will perceive as weak and begging (unless her Interest Level [degree of love] is off the chart from the get-go).

Remember, the classic male archetype of women's romantic fantasies is "The strong silent type." As my Uncle Jethro Love used to say, "You can't wind up saying something that lowers her Interest Level or her comfort level if you simply don't speak at all, now can you?" So be Mr. Nike, and without a word -- just do it.

[Astronuc]

rocketboy, go with Moonbear's advice! Set up another date.

The first time I kissed my wife (on our first date, well before we got married), I asked her permission. I simply asked, "may I kiss you". This was after I walked her to the door of her apartment. She said yes, we kissed, and I nearly fell down the stairs. :biggrin: It was a really nice kiss.

We were engaged 3 months later, and got married a year after that.

[rocketboy]

Thanks guys, I had no intention of forgetting her, so I'll definately be setting up another date!

Now, any ideas for the next date? There's always dinner/movie, but I want to do something original, something special.o:)

[russ_watters]

A little late, but... I sent him all the signals... If you didn't send him all THESE (http://www.boatsafe.com/nauticalknowhow/distress.htm) signals, then you didn't send him all the signals. Specifically, did you send him the 3rd one down on the right? That one is quite versatile. :rofl:

[Moonbear]

A little late, but... If you didn't send him all THESE (http://www.boatsafe.com/nauticalknowhow/distress.htm) signals, then you didn't send him all the signals. Specifically, did you send him the 3rd one down on the right? That one is quite versatile. :rofl:
:rofl: I guess I missed a few. I guess that explains my lack of dates...I keep forgetting the best approach with men is to club them over the head and drag them home with you, and even then some aren't quite sure if you're interested. :biggrin: :rofl:

[Moonbear]

The first time I kissed my wife (on our first date, well before we got married), I asked her permission. I simply asked, "may I kiss you". This was after I walked her to the door of her apartment. She said yes, we kissed, and I nearly fell down the stairs. :biggrin: It was a really nice kiss.

Yes, all the dates I have had that have gone well were ended by the guy asking permission before getting the kiss. If it went well, she's not going to refuse the kiss, but if things are iffy, showing you respect her enough to ask permission rather than just go for it can help sway her affection your way. Well, there was one exception...I met a guy at a hotel (we were both staying there for a wedding...he was friends with the groom and I was friends with the bride), so after hanging out all night, and my refusal to return to his room with him...I had just met him that night...we said goodnight in the elevator as I got off for my floor and he kept going...as I was fumbling with the key to my room, he came racing down the stairwell, all out of breath, and panted, "I forgot to ask for a goodnight kiss." He got one and we ended up dating for a long time. So, all is not lost if you even end up doing something goofy like forgetting a kiss and then running back for one. :biggrin:

[GeorginaS]

"I forgot to ask..." Wow, how endearing is that?

All of this shouldn't be this confusing, but it sure seems that it is.

[Evo]

I think asking for a kiss is nice. It's been so long since I was on a date I don't remember if I ever had anyone ask. I do know the last guy I dated didn't ask, we were in a very busy public place and it got us some applause. :blushing:

[Astronuc]

I was pretty inept at body language and receiving signals. So rather than leave it to chance, I simply asked. Well, anyway, I didn't have to worry about it after that, since I ending up marrying her. :biggrin:

I mean even when one girl kept coming up to me, throwing her arms around me, just about sucking the wind out me, I still wasn't sure about what she wanted. As far as I knew, she had a boyfriend, but their relationship was shaky. Perhaps she figured I was safe. :rolleyes:

I never could tell if a girl was looking at me because she was interested or if she just happened, like so many others in the general population, are looking at my beard, and then long hair and rather shabby dress. I preferred bare-feet, T-shirt and blue jeans.

[rocketboy]

I'm just wondering about the whole "asking for a kiss" thing. Girls, when guys ask you for a kiss does it ever come off *** them lacking confidence or being inexperienced or, anything like that? I mean, I don't think I've ever asked a girl for a kiss before, I've always just gone ahead and done it, and usually it works out. But lately (ie last night) I wasn't able to "just do it" for some strange reason. Perhaps it's because I really care about this girl and don't see her as just another make-out session? I don't know to tell you the truth...lol, so confusing:confused:

[Evo]

I'm just wondering about the whole "asking for a kiss" thing. Girls, when guys ask you for a kiss does it ever come off *** them lacking confidence or being inexperienced or, anything like that? I mean, I don't think I've ever asked a girl for a kiss before, I've always just gone ahead and done it, and usually it works out. But lately (ie last night) I wasn't able to "just do it" for some strange reason. Perhaps it's because I really care about this girl and don't see her as just another make-out session? I don't know to tell you the truth...lol, so confusing:confused:Unles you're totally clueless, you "know" if a kiss is expected. I think that's sweet that you hugged her instead. Of course she probably went inside and cried her eyes out, or made a voodoo doll of you, or both because she was expecting a kiss and now she's wondering what went wrong. :wink:

Makes me remember that old mouthwash commercial "a handshake instead of a kiss".

[Astronuc]

I'm just wondering about the whole "asking for a kiss" thing. Girls, when guys ask you for a kiss does it ever come off *** them lacking confidence or being inexperienced or, anything like that? I mean, I don't think I've ever asked a girl for a kiss before, I've always just gone ahead and done it, and usually it works out. But lately (ie last night) I wasn't able to "just do it" for some strange reason. Perhaps it's because I really care about this girl and don't see her as just another make-out session? I don't know to tell you the truth...lol, so confusing:confused:

I was reading your original problem statement, and trying to figure out how you ended up hugging while she seemed, according to you, making a kissing sound, which is a way to kiss, but not intimately. There are very special women friends (friends of my wife and me) whom I have known for years. When my wife and I greet them, I will give an embrace and a kiss on the cheek. That is a special, but not intimate greeting. I do the same with my sister, mother, aunts, etc.

Now, as for this young lady, you have several options:

1. you could bring it up in a phone conversation that you wanted to kiss here but you were unsure, or that you didn't want to impose on her (which hopefully would be a truthful statement),

2. when you pick her up for the next date, you could tell her that you forgot something the last time, and then kiss her (but maybe that is too bold), or you could ask to kiss her ( but ask first),

3. you could go on your next date, and wait to kiss her at the end (but ASK her first).

You may be the first guy that ever asked her. That will make an impression.

In human relationships, one of the most important factors is -
COMMUNICATION!!!!!!!!

Asking a woman's permission to kiss her is simply a matter of respect and due consideration. If she yes, then great, if not, don't feel bad about it.

[Moonbear]

I'm just wondering about the whole "asking for a kiss" thing. Girls, when guys ask you for a kiss does it ever come off *** them lacking confidence or being inexperienced or, anything like that? I mean, I don't think I've ever asked a girl for a kiss before, I've always just gone ahead and done it, and usually it works out. But lately (ie last night) I wasn't able to "just do it" for some strange reason. Perhaps it's because I really care about this girl and don't see her as just another make-out session? I don't know to tell you the truth...lol, so confusing:confused:
I've always appreciated it when asked, and it never came across as lacking confidence. On the contrary, it came across as very considerate. I've gotten more of the sense of inexperience when a guy just dives in for a kiss without asking first. I think it takes more self-confidence to ask than to just do it without asking, because when you ask, you risk getting a "no" as the answer (which isn't going to happen unless some wires have gotten majorly crossed in your communication with her). Your instinct might be just right...this time might have been more special and you have more respect for this woman, so hesitated to just force a kiss on her.

I think you might do well to take one of Astronuc's suggestions for the second date. Perhaps as you're arriving at the location of your next date, before getting out of the car, you could say something like, "There's something I forgot to ask you last night that I can't stop thinking about." She'll ask you what that is, and you build up the suspense a bit that way. Then you answer with, "I forgot to ask if I could have a good night kiss." (If you want, you can add a compliment in there, so something like, "I was so flustered by your beauty, I forgot to ask..." or, "I had such a great time with you, I can't believe I forgot to ask..." Hopefully she'll laugh or blush. Now, you have to look her directly in the eye (this is the key to appearing confident) as you ask, "May I kiss you now?"

Of course, the great thing about those first kisses is that once it's accomplished, more follow. :blushing: :shy: Aww...now this thread has me all nostalgic about first kisses.

[rocketboy]

I was reading your original problem statement, and trying to figure out how you ended up hugging while she seemed, according to you, making a kissing sound, which is a way to kiss, but not intimately.

I'm trying to figure out the same thing.:tongue2:

I heard the kissing sound just as I hugged her, as if I went to kiss her, and she responded by going to kiss me, and then I changed into a hug last second, probably because I didn't want her to think I was being to forward/bold.

So I have gathered that I must make a second date with her, and I think I'll just see how things go.

Any suggestions on where to take her? I am horrible at planning dates...the only reason I was able to successfully plan this one is that she told me "hey, I heard the canal is finally open for skating..." It was the clearest hint ever to come out of a female mouth. (No offense to anyone).

[Evo]

Perhaps as you're arriving at the location of your next date, before getting out of the car, you could say something like, "There's something I forgot to ask you last night that I can't stop thinking about." She'll ask you what that is, and you build up the suspense a bit that way. Then you answer with, "I forgot to ask if I could have a good night kiss." (If you want, you can add a compliment in there, so something like, "I was so flustered by your beauty, I forgot to ask..." or, "I had such a great time with you, I can't believe I forgot to ask..." I think she knew he was going in for a kiss, but something happened, so he needs to be honest. Just tell her that you intended to give her a kiss, but it suddenly dawned on you that you saw more in her than other girls you've dated and the realization startled you, but it didn't mean that you didn't want to kiss her. Damn, that would work on me. :!!)

[Evo]

Oh, too funny, a dear friend of mine that stalks these forums just pm'd me and asked for a handshake. (I guess I need mouthwash) :grumpy:

[rocketboy]

I think she knew he was going in for a kiss, but something happened, so he needs to be honest. Just tell her that you intended to give her a kiss, but it suddenly dawned on you that you saw more in her than other girls you've dated and the realization startled you, but it didn't mean that you didn't want to kiss her. Damn, that would work on me. :!!)

You are amazing. That's brilliant Evo. It tells her that I appreciate her, and it shows that I care for her, and it explains it all in a very affectionate manner.o:)

[Moonbear]

Yep, that should work. :approve:

[Astronuc]

You [Evo] are amazing. That's brilliant Evo. Yes she is! :smile: Actually both Moonbear and Evo are two of the greatest women you will ever meet. Have you met the other PF Sisters yet? They are also pretty exceptional too! :approve:

[GeorginaS]

Mbear rocks, no question there. It appears Evo's pretty serious herownself.

Now you've got me thinking about first kisses, Mbear. It's been over 15 years since my last first kiss. I wonder how my next one will turn out.

Rocketboy, what about a trip to the art gallery and then an early dinner. You can pick someplace downtown and take a leisurely walk to where you're going. Maybe something in the Market area. Mbear's familiar with the territory, maybe she can offer some ideas. But I like the art gallery notion a) because the Ottawa art gallery is seriously cool and it gives tons of conversation fodder, plus b) it's downtown with a zillion options surrounding it.

Where on earth did you park, anyway, that you had to walk 25 minutes to get to the Rideau Canal? Were you past Dow's Lake or in Nepean or something? (I'm teasing.)

[Moonbear]

Ottawa has wonderful museums! The Museum of Civilization is fun too, though I was there in the summer, so it was nice walking around outside it too (and watching all the folks there taking wedding photos made it a rather romantic setting that's likely to put anyone in the mood for kisses). I've heard of the skating on the Canal, but it was quite liquid while I was there. Beautiful, beautiful city. You should be able to find plenty of things to do on a date there.

Don't let G kid you though, the only stuff I know about Ottawa is what she recommended to me...she's my Canadian tour guide. :biggrin:

Oh, there's a fantastic bakery in the Market area...you should stop for some sweets. I just remember being like a kid in a candy shop staring at all the scrumptious desserts on display in there... a big cup of coffee or hot cocoa with some delicious pastries sounds like just the thing on a cold winter's day and will brace you for the walk over to the museum. :biggrin:

Though, as I recall, there's one street of shops that are not appropriate for first or second dates. :biggrin: :blushing: Better stay away from there until you know her much much better. :wink:

25 minutes to the canal...that must have involved hiking up from the university campus!

[Mk]

Well, now I know where to go on a date in Canada.

Thanks for the tips guys. Asking is good. :biggrin:

I hate feelings, you have you're own, you try and figure out other people's and what to do to change both of yours!!

I think you might do well to take one of Astronuc's suggestions for the second date. Perhaps as you're arriving at the location of your next date, before getting out of the car, you could say something like, "There's something I forgot to ask you last night that I can't stop thinking about." She'll ask you what that is, and you build up the suspense a bit that way. Then you answer with, "I forgot to ask if I could have a good night kiss." (If you want, you can add a compliment in there, so something like, "I was so flustered by your beauty, I forgot to ask..." or, "I had such a great time with you, I can't believe I forgot to ask..." Hopefully she'll laugh or blush. Now, you have to look her directly in the eye (this is the key to appearing confident) as you ask, "May I kiss you now?"
Of course, the great thing about those first kisses is that once it's accomplished, more follow. :blushing: :shy: Aww...now this thread has me all nostalgic about first kisses.
Oh my god, that's so sweet, its just like a movie. :cry: :redface:

What does "a good kisser" mean. Is it just how the date went, and how her mind is going?

[rocketboy]

Where on earth did you park, anyway, that you had to walk 25 minutes to get to the Rideau Canal? Were you past Dow's Lake or in Nepean or something? (I'm teasing.)

Lol, you're gonna laugh at me, we parked at the experimental farm free parking...yes, past dow's lake. She lives in the south end so I picked her up and came down prince of wales drive (old highway 16 for those of you who know what I mean), because I forgot where the other parking lot was where I parked the previous time I was there.

It worked out though, because we had a very nice walk:!!)

Oh, and btw, I've talked to her since and it seems she is still very interested in me, so I'm going to set up that second date soon:smile:

Yes, Ottawa is beautiful. I'm thinking the market would be fun, dinner, desert. There's a cake-place called "Memories" in the Market that is really good.

[GeorginaS]

Okay, you're right, Rocketboy, I did laugh. You parked at the Experimental Farm? To get to the Rideau Canal? Hee! Yes, it is a nice long walk. It must have been a lovely day out to trek that far.

Walking around that whole area -- lots to explore if she doesn't get downtwon often -- and then landing up in the Market for yummy desserts and coffee. That sounds grand!

I'm glad to hear she's still interested. Courage; you'll get that kiss yet. :smile:

[rocketboy]

Okay, you're right, Rocketboy, I did laugh. You parked at the Experimental Farm? To get to the Rideau Canal? Hee! Yes, it is a nice long walk. It must have been a lovely day out to trek that far.

Shhhh! You're making me look bad! LOL. Yes it was a lovely night...I don't see how it couldn't have been spending time with her!

[Evo]

Shhhh! You're making me look bad! LOL. Yes it was a lovely night...I don't see how it couldn't have been spending time with her!Oooh, our rocketboy is clever as well. :approve:

[rocketboy]

Okie dokie, so I have secured a second date with her:!!) We're not sure exactly when yet, because we are both busy this week, but it is definate that we are going to do something together soon.

I owe thanks to everyone here that has offered suggestions/moral support!

Btw, is a 1hr 40 min phone convo considered a good sign?:tongue2:

I'll keep you all posted!

[Cyrus]

I would avoid talking to her on the phone that long. Your conversation will potentially suck on the second date now, what will you talk about, stuff you already talked about on the phone? Save the talking for the date.

[Evo]

I would avoid talking to her on the phone that long. Your conversation will potentially suck on the second date now, what will you talk about, stuff you already talked about on the phone? Save the talking for the date.I disagree, I used to talk 8-12 hours non stop (seriously) with boys I dated and we still had plenty to talk about on dates.

[TheStatutoryApe]

Don't listen to him.
Long talks are a very good sign.
You may though want to avoid spending too much time together or on the phone because it tends to kill the novelty of it really quickly.

[Cyrus]

Err talking for an hour and 40 min.............yeah......thats just tooo long for ANY conversation, but thats just me

[rocketboy]

Oh, it wasn't one conversation. We covered a multitude of topics in that time! It was like a hundred conversations in one!:biggrin:

[Moonbear]

Woo hoo!!! You got a second date! :approve: And long talks are good! I could talk for hours with my boyfriends, on the phone or in person. I just hope it's not long distance. :biggrin: If all keeps going well, you'll have to introduce us all to rocketgirl! :tongue2:

[Evo]

Oh, it wasn't one conversation. We covered a multitude of topics in that time! It was like a hundred conversations in one!:tounge1:That is a great sign!!!!!! Being able to carry on long conversations over a range of topics is awesome!!!!! :approve:

[Cyrus]

Just dont be fake. That way she likes the real you.

I disagree, I used to talk 8-12 hours non stop (seriously) with boys I dated and we still had plenty to talk about on dates.

Wow, the longest phone conversation I probably ever had with anyone in my life topped out at around 45mins, and that was really pushing it. I keep my cell phone on 'off mode'. Its on if I need to make a call, and thats it, hehe.

[Evo]

Just dont be fake. That way she likes the real you.
Wow, the longest phone conversation I probably ever had with anyone in my life topped out at around 45mins, and that was really pushing it. I keep my cell phone on 'off mode'. Its on if I need to make a call, and thats it, hehe.I'd pull "all nighters" on the phone. :bugeye:

[Moonbear]

Just dont be fake. That way she likes the real you.
Wow, the longest phone conversation I probably ever had with anyone in my life topped out at around 45mins, and that was really pushing it. I keep my cell phone on 'off mode'. Its on if I need to make a call, and thats it, hehe.
I guess you haven't met the right woman yet then. :biggrin: When you fall head over heels for someone, you'll talk for hours too, just you wait and see. :smile:

[TheStatutoryApe]

When I was with my last serious girlfriend we used to talk for any where between one and four hours on the phone. We talked on the phone alot because our schedules only allowed us to see each other on the weekends. In the begining of our relationship I think we even had a couple conversations that were about five or so hours. Unfortunately I was keeping her up way too late and we had to stop talking so much.

[Cyrus]

My parents, a girl, my best friend, anyone, I just cant talk on a telephone for hours. Id rather talk in person if its going to push more than 30 min on a phone. Why dont you call me then moonbear :!!) :tongue2:

[GeorginaS]

Go rocketboy! See? Courage.

This thread is almost giving me hope that that meeting new people thing might be kind of fun. I remember sitting up all night with someone I'd just me, talking non-stop about nothing and everything. What a great feeling.

rocketboy, I'm voting for "the long conversations are good" side. Because they are good.

[Moonbear]

Go rocketboy! See? Courage.
This thread is almost giving me hope that that meeting new people thing might be kind of fun. I remember sitting up all night with someone I'd just me, talking non-stop about nothing and everything. What a great feeling.
rocketboy, I'm voting for "the long conversations are good" side. Because they are good.
I think I may have replaced those long phone conversations with emails and forum posts. I miss those crazy conversations that go along with meeting someone new.

[Hurkyl]

Just dont be fake. That way she likes the real you.
Wow, the longest phone conversation I probably ever had with anyone in my life topped out at around 45mins, and that was really pushing it. I keep my cell phone on 'off mode'. Its on if I need to make a call, and thats it, hehe.
You see, some of us have this condition... it's called being "outgoing", or "extroverted"...

[Cyrus]

I'm outgoing, just not on a telephone.

[Moonbear]

Oh, I don't generally like staying on the phone long either, but when it's a boyfriend, that's a whole different animal!

[TheStatutoryApe]

You see, some of us have this condition... it's called being "outgoing", or "extroverted"...
Oh NO! Can you get treated for that?

Oh, I don't generally like staying on the phone long either, but when it's a boyfriend, that's a whole different animal!
I didn't know you were into that sort of thing! Does this have something to do with men being dogs?

[Moonbear]

I didn't know you were into that sort of thing! Does this have something to do with men being dogs?
I thought men were supposed to be pigs? :confused: :biggrin:

[Mk]

I like ham.

[rocketboy]

Woo hoo!!! You got a second date! :approve: And long talks are good! I could talk for hours with my boyfriends, on the phone or in person. I just hope it's not long distance. :biggrin: If all keeps going well, you'll have to introduce us all to rocketgirl! :tongue2:

well, she said she's bringing her camera with her next time...so if you're lucky you may get a pic or two.:cool:

Go rocketboy! See? Courage.

This thread is almost giving me hope that that meeting new people thing might be kind of fun. I remember sitting up all night with someone I'd just me, talking non-stop about nothing and everything. What a great feeling.

:smile: Meeting new people is definately one of the greatest feelings, especially when you really connect with each other! Woohoo! I have brought inspiration to PFers around the world!

[rocketboy]

Hey guys, tell me what you think of this.

I take her out to late lunch/early supper (cuz that's the only time she's free tomorrow and we've agreed we must see each other). But before hand, I buy flowers, or a rose...and give them to the waiter to bring to her at the table, then I ask her to be mine.:!!) :!!)

Edit: i get the waiter to say "these are from teh gentleman at table #....then she's puzzled for a moment before realizing its me.

What do you think? Will she melt?

[The_Professional]

Hey guys, tell me what you think of this.
I take her out to late lunch/early supper (cuz that's the only time she's free tomorrow and we've agreed we must see each other). But before hand, I buy flowers, or a rose...and give them to the waiter to bring to her at the table, then I ask her to be mine.:!!) :!!)
What do you think? Will she melt?

how long have you known this girl? might as well propose marriage to her. that way you don't waste time

[rocketboy]

how long have you known this girl? might as well propose marriage to her. that way you don't waste time

lol, at 17? my dad wud kill me!

[rocketboy]

is it too much? it's either that or the movies.

[The_Professional]

is it too much?

too much too soon. it's okay to take her out for dinner dates. you always pay for the date, but the flowers/gifts come after 60 days.
she has to earn it y'know

[rocketboy]

too much too soon. it's okay to take her out for dinner dates. you always pay for the date, but the flowers/gifts come after 60 days.
she has to earn it y'know

the angel and...well, the other angel, have popped up on my shoulder.

one is loving the idea because it is so god-damned romantic and the other is saying "dude, just go to the movies, kiss her, and ur good to go"

[Evo]

is it too much?No, it's so sweet. A single flower is perfect. Do you know what kind she likes? She will melt and she will remember this for a long time. It will be a great memory. I don't think it's too soon, if you are reading things right, sounds like you are.

If you break up with her, will you date me? I don't have anyone sweet, or romantic in my life. :cry:

I still remember MANY years ago I had been visiting out of town for a few days and had met a guy and we'd had a couple of dates while I was there. Then it was time for me to fly back. Before I left, he took out a simple, herringbone gold necklace and fastened it around my neck and told me that it reminded him of me, "simple yet elegant". I've never forgotten him. :!!)

[The_Professional]

I still remember MANY years ago I had been visiting out of town for a few days and had met a guy and we'd had a couple of dates while I was there. Then it was time for me to fly back. Before I left, he took out a simple, herringbone gold necklace and fastened it around my neck and told me that it reminded him of me, "simple yet elegant". I've never forgotten him. :!!)

but you're no longer dating him

[Moonbear]

It's sweet, but I think having the waiter present the flower to her is a bit much. Give it to her yourself. Like Evo said, a single, special flower (a rose, or her favorite flower if you know it) is perfect. If you were picking her up at her place, you could give her a small bouquet...not a big or expensive one, but something small, but if you're giving it to her at lunch/dinner, then better to stick to a single flower so she doesn't have to lug a bouquet around the rest of the night. Plus, a bouquet would need to get put in water right away, a single flower she can let dry and save if there's no water handy right away (that's a good hint she's really crazy over you if you give her a rose and find out she's dried it or pressed it...it means she thinks you're a keeper :biggrin:).

Now, where are the slightly older versions of you hiding so I can get myself a sweet boyfriend?

[Evo]

but you're no longer dating himCause I found out he was married.:grumpy:

[Moonbear]

too much too soon. it's okay to take her out for dinner dates. you always pay for the date, but the flowers/gifts come after 60 days.
she has to earn it y'know
Pfft! Two months?! She'll think you're an insensitive, unromantic cad if you haven't given her any flowers in that amount of time. :tongue:

[The_Professional]

Pfft! Two months?! She'll think you're an insensitive, unromantic cad if you haven't given her any flowers in that amount of time. :tongue:

no, i'm married. i don't want my wife to find out

[rocketboy]

ok, so do i give her them at the door or a single (white?) rose at dinner?

I like what you said about leaving the waiter out of it moonbear, she may feel embarrassed or pressured if he/she is there.

I'm thinking the rose at dinner....cuz if i give her a bouquet at the door her dad may come out with a shotgun....lol, just kidding, i hope.

[Moonbear]

ok, so do i give her them at the door or a single (white?) rose at dinner?
I like what you said about leaving the waiter out of it moonbear, she may feel embarrassed or pressured if he/she is there.
I'm thinking the rose at dinner....cuz if i give her a bouquet at the door her dad may come out with a shotgun....lol, just kidding, i hope.
Traditionally, you give the flower at the door, but I really like the idea of giving it at the restaurant. Somehow, I think it will make it more special because she didn't get it at the door and then isn't expecting it...flowers are more fun when you don't expect them. :smile: A white rose would be very appropriate.

Better brace yourself for the third degree from her father too. :biggrin:

[rocketboy]

Traditionally, you give the flower at the door, but I really like the idea of giving it at the restaurant. Somehow, I think it will make it more special because she didn't get it at the door and then isn't expecting it...flowers are more fun when you don't expect them. :smile: A white rose would be very appropriate.
Better brace yourself for the third degree from her father too. :biggrin:

well, i plan to ask her out when i give her the flower...so i don't think the door wud be as good.

as for her father...well, thus far i've been pretty good with parents of girls i've known/dated....hopefully my charm will be maintained:smile:

[Cyrus]

When you break the news to her dad, just say this when you greet him, "Hi grandpa, were naming him after you!"

[The_Professional]

Now, where are the slightly older versions of you hiding so I can get myself a sweet boyfriend?

will the real slim shady please stand up.

[Moonbear]

well, i plan to ask her out when i give her the flower...so i don't think the door wud be as good.
But you'll already be out. :biggrin: Okay, I understand now. You're planning on asking her to be your girlfriend, or to go steady, or whatever it's called now. Then, yes, at dinner would be better, especially if she has an overprotective father. I've never had a guy actually ask me to officially be his girlfriend, we always just knew we were dating when we got to the kissing part. :blushing:

as for her father...well, thus far i've been pretty good with parents of girls i've known/dated....hopefully my charm will be maintained:smile:
As considerate as you've come across here, I'm surprised more parents aren't trying to fix you up with their daughters.

[Moonbear]

When you break the news to her dad, just say this when you greet him, "Hi grandpa, were naming him after you!"
You forgot to preface that with a coffee spitting warning! Evo's going to ruin another keyboard when she reads that. Good thing it's the middle of the night, so I'm not drinking any coffee. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Mk]

This thread always makes me smile. All the roses and dating, ham, and shotguns business. :smile:

[Moonbear]

This thread always makes me smile. :smile: All the roses and dating and shotguns business. :smile:
It makes me smile too. I used to cringe when I entered this thread, because so many people were posting about how they botched up something on a date, or were too deathly afraid to just ask a lady out, etc., but now it just warms my heart to read this thread and see the posts about budding romance. :smile: If I ever find myself a guy to date, I'm sending him here for the crash course on romance. :biggrin:

[GeorginaS]

You're going to ask her out, rocketboy? I didn't know people still used that expression. That is so adorable.

Yes, handing her a flower when you ask her to be your girlfriend is perfect. And a white rose is also perfect.

You're a doll, rocketboy. Good luck to you!

[rocketboy]

I'll let you all know how it turns out. I'm going to bed now lol.

Hopefully I can find a flower shop that is open on sunday....

[rocketboy]

oooooooooooh....problem

i just visited the websites of the few flower shops i know of around here and none are open sundays......:surprised::eek: :uhh: :cry:

[Cyrus]

Too bad its not spring, Or you could steal one outa someones yard. (Just dont take it from her yard please)....

[Mk]

I wouldn't want to be called a doll. No body uses that word anymore either. I like sand.

[Moonbear]

Do the grocery stores by you sell flowers? All the ones by where I live have a floral department now. The selection isn't as good, but for the single white rose, you can probably find what you need.

Or...you could get her a tulip bulb and tell her she has to go out with you unti she gets the flower. :rofl: (Okay, don't do that, she might throw it at you, and it'll probably hurt.)

[rocketboy]

I wouldn't want to be called a doll. No body uses that word anymore either. I like sand.

Lol, Brittany called me a doll. She's also called me gorgeous, sexy, hun, sweetie, baby, hottie...I don't mind at all.:smile:

[Cyrus]

All else fails, learn origami, make a really big paper flower. That would be cool.

[Mk]

Maybe she would appreciate chocolate. Get her Godiva, they are top quality, and send her subliminal messages. (Lady Godiva) Oh yeah, I'm good. Spray the chocolate with pheromones too, preferably male human ones.

[Cyrus]

http://home.tiscali.nl/gerard.paula/origami/darkroom/flower1_chrispalmer.jpg

start folding boy.

[rocketboy]

Do the grocery stores by you sell flowers? All the ones by where I live have a floral department now. The selection isn't as good, but for the single white rose, you can probably find what you need.

Or...you could get her a tulip bulb and tell her she has to go out with you unti she gets the flower. :rofl: (Okay, don't do that, she might throw it at you, and it'll probably hurt.)

hehe, ur gonna laugh...she works at the grocery store. The reason she's busy until 2 is she's working there.

The other grocery store near me is closed on sunday.

I just remembered, my sister got a few roses from something on thursday...if she still has them I could "borrow" one.:cool:

[Mk]

Get her a punk rock CD. Yeah, she'll like that.

[Moonbear]

http://home.tiscali.nl/gerard.paula/origami/darkroom/flower1_chrispalmer.jpg
start folding boy.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Actually, it would probably work if you were desperate...and if you could learn to fold that thing in one night. You don't have to tell her until long after you're married that you only gave her that origami flower because you didn't think to plan ahead and buy the flower on the day the florists were still open. :rofl:

[rocketboy]

chocolates would be good, but i don't think they're the same as a rose.

and as for the folded one...lol...it would probably look more like a crumpled up piece of paper than a flower.

[Cyrus]

http://homepage3.nifty.com/origamiflower/tulip2.html

If you make these, hell ILL be your gf.

[Moonbear]

hehe, ur gonna laugh...she works at the grocery store. The reason she's busy until 2 is she's working there.
:eek: That complicates things. Can you get an accomplice to buy the flower for you so she doesn't know it's going to be for her? Maybe a friend of yours who she doesn't know yet, so she won't recognize them?

[rocketboy]

http://homepage3.nifty.com/origamiflower/tulip2.html
If you make these, hell ILL be your gf.
:rofl: :rofl:

Can you get an accomplice to buy the flower for you so she doesn't know it's going to be for her? Maybe a friend of yours who she doesn't know yet, so she won't recognize them?

That's a really good idea. Wow, what would I do without you guys?

[Moonbear]

http://homepage3.nifty.com/origamiflower/tulip2.html
If you make these, hell ILL be your gf.
Wow! Ever make those tissue paper flowers as a kid? They're supposed to look like crumpled paper. :biggrin:
http://www.kidsdomain.com/craft/flower2.html

[Cyrus]

Why dont you go to the PA system and say, attention shoppers, I would like to ask (insert name) to be my girl. (just kidding).

[Moonbear]

Okay, it's well past my bedtime. Good luck tomorrow, rocketboy! I'll be anxiously awaiting the full report of your success. :smile:

[Cyrus]

Yeah I made those too moonbear! I completely forgot until you mentioned that. Mines always looked like bunched up tissue paper :-( Im not a child genius like this girl, http://www.wimp.com/child/ I bet she can make origami too.... shes so cute, do dodod odoodod dee de dooo de doo dee do.

[rocketboy]

Why dont you go to the PA system and say, attention shoppers, I would like to ask (insert name) to be my girl. (just kidding).

I'll try that one in a different situation AFTER she's successfully my girl. She would probably laugh if it weren't something like asking her out.

[rocketboy]

Okay, it's well past my bedtime. Good luck tomorrow, rocketboy! I'll be anxiously awaiting the full report of your success. :smile:

Yah, I need to go to bed too. Thanks! If it doesn't work out you and Evo can fight over me!

[Mk]

Tell her i eta pi

[rocketboy]

Hey everyone!

Well, the date was a complete success! We ended up going to the movies instead of lunch, beceause it was mid-afternoon and she had already eaten, and we just felt like going to see a movie.

I still got her the single white rose...the grocery store didn't have any, and I thought I was out of luck, when I drove past the Manotick Florists, and noticed they were open. So I ran in and got one.:smile:

She melted.

I gave her the rose when she got in the car (after I went to the door to pick her up and met her dad...who I think I made as good of an impression on as I could in 2 minutes) because I couldn't hide the rose and I didn't want it to die. It made a great start to the date.

I didn't ask her out when I gave her the flower, cuz it was the beginning. So we went to the movies, and I got our tickets (to Narnia cuz it was the only thing at the time we had, and she had limited time...it was pretty good). The movie was even better with my arm around her and my hands in hers.

So at the point when the movie was practically over, the magical moment happened. I didn't ask for the kiss, we both just knew, and it was the best kiss I've ever had. That went on past the end of the movie and throughout the credits...it was funny because there were still a few people left watching...well, i think they were watching the credits.

So that was my wonderful date, I asked her out officially at the end, and wasn't dissapointed.:!!) :!!)

I owe many thanks to everyone in this thread!

[Moonbear]

*jumps up and down with joy* Yipppeeeeeee and wooohooo!!!! I didn't have any doubt she'd agree to officially date you. You've got all the women here swooning with just the telling of it! :biggrin: I'm so happy for you and her! Oh, and that sounds like the best kind of kiss, where it just happens and you both know it's right even without asking. Did I read that right? One kiss that lasted through the end of the movie and into the credits? :bugeye: Wow! Good thing you already got meeting her dad out of the way. :biggrin:

[Mk]

Wow wow wow, amazing. Wow. Hope you had fun. :biggrin:

[Mk]

At the end didn't somebody die in that movie?

[rocketboy]

At the end didn't somebody die in that movie?
um...the witch did....:rofl:

Did I read that right? One kiss that lasted through the end of the movie and into the credits? Wow! Good thing you already got meeting her dad out of the way.

Yup, you read it correctly. I agree...so glad meeting her dad is out of the way. Girl's fathers scare me. lol...when I dropped her off she says "I'd kiss you goodbye but my dad is in the window."

[Astronuc]

I hoped you walked her to the door!

And perhaps, the next time, when you walk her to the door, say hello to the dad.

As a father, I like it when a young man who dates my daughter can look me in the eye without feeling guilty or initimidated. It has to do with trust.

[rocketboy]

I hoped you walked her to the door!
And perhaps, the next time, when you walk her to the door, say hello to the dad.
As a father, I like it when a young man who dates my daughter can look me in the eye without feeling guilty or initimidated. It has to do with trust.

Well, I didn't walk her to the door, cuz she went in through her garage. But when I met her father at teh beginning I was able to look him in the eye and introduce myself and shake his hand and talk to him like an adult. So I guess that worked out ok.

Anything else I should know about dealing with parents? Little secrets that parents love their daughters boyfriends' for?

[Moonbear]

Anything else I should know about dealing with parents? Little secrets that parents love their daughters boyfriends' for?
Gosh, I wish I knew. They usually just seem to like a guy who they see treating their daughter right. But, I have never found out what went on with the one boyfriend of mine my parents actually liked (he's only one of two they ever actually met...the others didn't last that long). They met him the day I was moving to a new apartment, and prior to meeting him, NOBODY was going to borrow their truck, not even me, it was their baby (yes, I think they loved the truck more than me :rolleyes:), so I had him and another friend with a truck coming over to help me move my stuff without borrowing my parents' truck. He got to the house a bit before I did, and somehow, in the 5 or 10 minutes he was alone with my parents, they offered to let HIM drive my parents' truck to help me move my stuff. :bugeye: That's how I knew they liked him...but I'm still dying to know what was said or done that in under 10 minutes, that they liked him THAT much. Guess I'll never know. :frown:

[rocketboy]

That's how I knew they liked him...but I'm still dying to know what was said or done that in under 10 minutes, that they liked him THAT much. Guess I'll never know. :frown:

I bet it was a test. They probably wanted to see if he was responsible/dependable. That's my best guess.

[Moonbear]

I bet it was a test. They probably wanted to see if he was responsible/dependable. That's my best guess.
Knowing my parents, it might have been. I think Hercules had easier tests to pass than what my mom put my stepdad through when she was dating him! They didn't like my first boyfriend, he failed his first test...he couldn't stack bricks without knocking over the whole pile. :rofl: He got what he deserved for showing up unannounced while I was still sleeping, so my parents put him to work while waiting for me to get up and ready. (I've never been a morning person.) I guess I foiled the plan with the second one, since I was so irritated they had given me such a hard time about borrowing their truck that I rounded up other people to help, and then were willing to let the boyfriend they just met drive it, that I refused to let him borrow it.

[Astronuc]

Well, I didn't walk her to the door, cuz she went in through her garage. But when I met her father at the beginning I was able to look him in the eye and introduce myself and shake his hand and talk to him like an adult. So I guess that worked out ok.

Anything else I should know about dealing with parents? Little secrets that parents love their daughters boyfriends' for? :rofl: I can't speak for all parents or all dads. I have a reputation for being very laid back, and my wife thinks I am too laid back sometimes.

I suppose I expect/hope that any boy treats my daughter with respect, thoughtfulness, kindness, etc. And I expect my son to treat any girl/woman with respect, thoughtfulness, kindness, etc. Basically it comes down to one human being treating another with basic respect and dignity.

It may be cliche, but I would hope men are always 'gentlemen'.

Personally, I am very impressed when a young man seeks me out and says hello, and even more impressed if the man converses with me. On the other hand, I worry if a man avoids me.

When I dated, a long, long time ago, I always made it a point to meet the parents when coming to pick up and drop off a girl. However, at university, there were no parents.

I never met my wife's father, as he had died many years before I even met my wife.

[Astronuc]

Knowing my parents, it might have been. I think Hercules had easier tests to pass than what my mom put my stepdad through when she was dating him! They didn't like my first boyfriend, he failed his first test...he couldn't stack bricks without knocking over the whole pile. :rofl: He got what he deserved for showing up unannounced while I was still sleeping, so my parents put him to work while waiting for me to get up and ready. (I've never been a morning person.) I guess I foiled the plan with the second one, since I was so irritated they had given me such a hard time about borrowing their truck that I rounded up other people to help, and then were willing to let the boyfriend they just met drive it, that I refused to let him borrow it. :rofl:
That reminds of the time when I was traveling out of town, and the girl told me to stop by her house regardless of the time. Well, I got to her house at midnight, and the house was quiet. I then did as she suggested - I tossed some pepples at her bedroom window and then 'loudly whispered' or 'quietly hollered'. Well, the next thing I know, her dad is opening the window, and asks me, '****, is that you?'

All I could do was answer affirmative (somewhat stuttering), and then explain the situation. He indicated that my girlfriend was asleep - and he was not inclined to wake her. :blushing:

All I could do was the apologize for waking him, ask him to give her a message that I would see her when I got back to town, and leave.

What a lousy way to start a road trip.

[Cosmo16]

:rofl:
That reminds of the time when I was traveling out of town, and the girl told me to stop by her house regardless of the time. Well, I got to her house at midnight, and the house was quiet. I then did as she suggested - I tossed some pepples at her bedroom window and then 'loudly whispered' or 'quietly hollered'. Well, the next thing I know, her dad is opening the window, and asks me, '****, is that you?'
All I could do was answer affirmative (somewhat stuttering), and then explain the situation. He indicated that my girlfriend was asleep - and he was not inclined to wake her. :blushing:
All I could do was the apologize for waking him, ask him to give her a message that I would see her when I got back to town, and leave.
What a lousy way to start a road trip.


OMG- I would have died! What a story to tell though

Kinda like the one where the security guard came up to me and my (now ex) gf at the mall and said that someone had called security and said that their was "a couple on the bench being a little to aregressive with the affection." Which we probably were. Whatever. We just looked at eachother, waited until he left, then walked away.

[Mk]

Is there an echo in here?

[Cosmo16]

not anymore

[Mk]

not anymore
Good, cause they scare me sometimes. :approve:

[Astronuc]

OMG- I would have died! What a story to tell though
Kinda like the one where the security guard came up to me and my (now ex) gf at the mall and said that someone had called security and said that their was "a couple on the bench being a little to aregressive with the affection." Which we probably were. Whatever. We just looked at eachother, waited until he left, then walked away. Yeah, I saw him once after that. At the time, I looked pretty much like my avatar - long hair and a beard. The dad was a manager for a big German bank. :rofl:

I really liked the family and the girl, but unfortunately we went our separate ways. I was the problem in that relationship - my life was in state of flux/turmoil and I could not guarantee her stability. She went on to pose for Playboy, which I wasn't to happy to learn about, and she married some bozo she starting dating after we broke up.

I met her again at a university function after the both of us were married, and she was nursing her infant son. I mentioned how great it was being married, and she responded with something like "for some people." I didn't go into a discussion, but she didn't look happy. Her husband was off playing frisbee with his pals, while she took care of their son. She sacrificed a promising career in international business to this guy who really didn't seem to have much of a career plan. I lost touch with her after that.

[Blahness]

*In awe of the size of this topic*

Posting later, editing this post if noone else posts after this,

[Mk]

I lost touch with her after that.
I lost touch after my second concussion. Sandpaper doesn't hurt no more.

[Poobel]

Just a friendly word of advice, don't call a girl "ignorant". I learned it the hard way.

[Mk]

Call her an ignorant boob, much better. Well, I've lost touch... sandpaper don't hurt no more.

[dasmurph]

Girls require both time and money: Girls=time*money
Time is money: Time=Money
Substitute: Girls=money*money
Money is the root of all evil: Money=evil^(1/2)
Therefore: Girls=Money^2=(Evil^(1/2))^2=Evil
Simplify: Girls=Evil

[FeynmanMH42]

I, really, REALLY like this girl from school. She's amazing.
The problem is I've never spoken to her in real life. We used to speak on MSN quite a lot and talked for hours, and got to know each other (that's when I started liking her.) I feel too nervous to talk to her in real life and I feel like I need an "excuse" to talk to her - going up to someone I've never spoken to and saying something feels very wrong.
My idea was to talk to her on MSN for a while and then try and arrange something in private over MSN.
The problem is she's never online anymore due to coursework! I keep telling her I can help her but she's not allowed online. It's killing me and it hurts and aches badly whenever I see her at school.
WHAT CAN I DO?? :(

[Astronuc]

Talk to her! Start with - "Hi". Presumably, one can say in person what one says over the internet. Personally, I prefer to talk to someone face to face.

In my line of work, I talk to a lot of people. The first time, they are obviously strangers. After a while they are mostly clients and colleagues, and some become friends, and a few, very good friends.

[Pyrrhus]

I, really, REALLY like this girl from school. She's amazing.
The problem is I've never spoken to her in real life. We used to speak on MSN quite a lot and talked for hours, and got to know each other (that's when I started liking her.) I feel too nervous to talk to her in real life and I feel like I need an "excuse" to talk to her - going up to someone I've never spoken to and saying something feels very wrong.
My idea was to talk to her on MSN for a while and then try and arrange something in private over MSN.
The problem is she's never online anymore due to coursework! I keep telling her I can help her but she's not allowed online. It's killing me and it hurts and aches badly whenever I see her at school.
WHAT CAN I DO?? :(

Chill out!, you're putting too much pressure on yourself. Remember meeting/talking to people is supposed to be fun. What i will do is say like Astro hinted a simply hello, and ask about how's life, etc... The basic questions you ask to anybody you have not seen in a while.


I think the problem with most guys is that they put too much pressure on themselves. Just because you want it to work, it doesn't mean it's going to work. There must be 50-50 by both parties involved. If you put your 50, give it a few tries, and you feel it ain't getting anywhere, just go on to the NEXT girl you are interested. Avoid obsessing, that's just awkward.

[rocketboy]

I agree with both replies...first of all I hate talking to girls on msn because you can never tell what "tone" they're talking in. You can determine a lot just by observing how a person is talking to you. Secondly, just talk to her as if you're talking to anyone else (at first). Ask her how her weekend was, or what she has planned for the summer, if she's going away ask her where and maybe about past places she's been. remember this: "Interested is interesting" (i forget what movie that was from).

[PrudensOptimus]

Hello there, how you guys been doing? =D

[Evo]

Hello there, how you guys been doing? =DHey Prudens! Long time no see. What've you been up to?

[PrudensOptimus]

Studying :D

I see this thread have became one of the more popular ones around!

[Mattius_]

Hey all, I really enjoyed reading rocketboy's experience but I have a few troubles of my own.

My troubles arent as innocent as rocketboy's but I do have good intentions and I just need to know if what I am doing is across the line or not. There is a girl who I have known since highschool (going into junior year of college now) and our relationship was never really much in highschool. I was a bit anti-social and she was in the popular clique. We didnt know each other well and the few times we did interact it was because I was disagreeing with her in class or because I was defending a kid that her clique was giving a hard time to (I am outspoken when it comes to bullying.) We didn't like eachother at all. Anyways I was really skinny during highschool but once college started I put on weight and confidence and start going to parties and such. I didn't see her much the first year of college but I ended up at the same party during the beginning of our sophomore year. She was flirting with the same type of guys she always had, the types who only want her body and the types that she could boss around. I pulled her aside and asked her why she liked being treated like a piece of meat and we had a somewhat long (drunk) talk about her promiscuity, her always cheating on her boyfriends, and her almost failing out of college and she ended up hugging me and crying on my shoulder. I started kissing her but I let my hornyness take control and that kind of killed it. We all (about 10 of us) passed out and that was the end of the night. I saw her the next day in the college cafeteria and she blatantly avoided eye contact with me so I got a little pissed and avoided her as well and pushed her out of my mind. About 8 months later my roommate ran into her on campus and invited her over. She brought over her boyfriend (of 6 months) and it was a little awqward at first but as usual we all started getting drunk and the feelings started coming out. Now, as I stated I am pretty outspoken and I dont really give respect to people who dont deserve it (this is what she is attracted to I think.) I assumed that this boyfriend she brought over was just another idiot and so I didnt really give him any respect. Consequently, I started talking to her again and once we got drunk we started flirting with eachother really openly. She was trying to make me smoke my first ciggarette (Just to try and get me to do what she wanted) and I wouldnt and I'm pretty sure this is what was making her crazy about me. My ability to say no to her and stand up to her is what really makes her want me. We both have very headstrong personalities and that is what makes the attraction. Meanwhile her boyfriend was basically getting her drinks and being her servant. She would be mean at him and he would just kind of take it like a pushover does. Anyways, like I said, about six of us were sitting around a table playing a card game and the flirting was really really overt to the point where everyone was noticing and kind of shocked that 1) I was hitting on her 2) She was flirting back 3) Her boyfriend was right there and not doing anything. We were making eye contact like crazy and talking in a kind of suttle sex tone. Eventually her boyfriend left for a cig outside or something and we started talking and I told her that I was attracted to her. She kind of panicked and giggled and went outside. I went to my room to kind of analyze what had just happend and she came back inside and came into my room and asked me if I was going to go to bed because of what she said/did. I said no and still hung out in the living room as the party died down. She left with her boyfriend at about 5am and that was the end of it. The next week she called my roommate again and said that she wanted to come over. She and my roommate talked a little about what happend and she said that her boyfriend said he was going to kick my *** if I did it again. My thoughts on that are if he really wanted to he would have got in my face right then and there at the party. I think he just said it to make her feel as if he was a tough guy or whatever. Anyways she was coming over again and said that this time her boyfriend wouldnt be. She came over with her girl roommate and to my surprise with her boyfriend. I could tell she didnt want him there because she was being mean to him again and he was offering to leave. He ended up staying and he didnt seem mad at me at all. I caught up with him in the kitchen and apologized for the way I acted the week before and he said it was okay. (Wow, what a pushover I was thinking.) Anyways I definately kept my distance that night but she was trying to make conversation with me again. I wasn't going to let that happen because I wanted to respect their relationship even if it was a ****ty one and even if he was kind of a loser. She got a little bit tipsy and made a few freudian slips when talking to me. They left early that night but I can tell she wanted me to flirt again. Her freshman year of college she spent partying too much/sleeping around and she almost dropped out and now she is getting perfect grades, she rarely drinks, and her figure has gone from good to perfect. It seems like she is really starting to take care of herself and I think that completing her picture would be getting with a guy that actually challenges her. I am not sure if we have a real personality attraction or if only the sexual part of our personalities connect. Anyways, have I gone too far? Am I out of my place? Should I even go after a girl who I know has cheated on her boyfriends MANY times and about did so with me? Sorry for the long write up but I need some advice.

[Astronuc]

Should I even go after a girl who I know has cheated on her boyfriends MANY times and about did so with me? It seems like playing with fire.

The woman described has a problematic history. On the other hand, she seems to have changed, if as reported, she has reduced her drinking and improved her grades.

One could attempt a platonic relationship.

However, in the end, one must decide what kind of relationship one wishes with this woman - and then accept the consequences thereof.

The questions one must answer are - Does one wish a committed and exclusive relationship? If so, can this woman commit to such a relationship?

[Moonbear]

I know some people really believe in the "once a cheater, always a cheater" idea, but I don't think that's always true, especially if the cheating is done when fairly young...call it youthful indiscretion or immaturity or that they just haven't found someone they care enough about to be faithful to just one person. Especially considering this young lady sounds like she has been making a lot of other changes in her life, such as giving up the partying attitude and getting herself in shape and back to taking her studies seriously, it seems worth giving her the benefit of the doubt. The main thing is, if she has changed, given her history, how will you react if she forms friendships with other guys in the future? Can you accept that it's innocent if it is, or are you likely to start getting jealous or suspicious? That's in addition to Astronuc's questions that you should consider, namely, is it a committed relationship you're looking for, and if so, is she ready for one too?

[PrudensOptimus]

Hey all, I really enjoyed reading rocketboy's experience but I have a few troubles of my own.

My troubles arent as innocent as rocketboy's but I do have good intentions and I just need to know if what I am doing is across the line or not. There is a girl who I have known since highschool (going into junior year of college now) and our relationship was never really much in highschool. I was a bit anti-social and she was in the popular clique. We didnt know each other well and the few times we did interact it was because I was disagreeing with her in class or because I was defending a kid that her clique was giving a hard time to (I am outspoken when it comes to bullying.) We didn't like eachother at all. Anyways I was really skinny during highschool but once college started I put on weight and confidence and start going to parties and such. I didn't see her much the first year of college but I ended up at the same party during the beginning of our sophomore year. She was flirting with the same type of guys she always had, the types who only want her body and the types that she could boss around. I pulled her aside and asked her why she liked being treated like a piece of meat and we had a somewhat long (drunk) talk about her promiscuity, her always cheating on her boyfriends, and her almost failing out of college and she ended up hugging me and crying on my shoulder. I started kissing her but I let my hornyness take control and that kind of killed it. We all (about 10 of us) passed out and that was the end of the night. I saw her the next day in the college cafeteria and she blatantly avoided eye contact with me so I got a little pissed and avoided her as well and pushed her out of my mind. About 8 months later my roommate ran into her on campus and invited her over. She brought over her boyfriend (of 6 months) and it was a little awqward at first but as usual we all started getting drunk and the feelings started coming out. Now, as I stated I am pretty outspoken and I dont really give respect to people who dont deserve it (this is what she is attracted to I think.) I assumed that this boyfriend she brought over was just another idiot and so I didnt really give him any respect. Consequently, I started talking to her again and once we got drunk we started flirting with eachother really openly. She was trying to make me smoke my first ciggarette (Just to try and get me to do what she wanted) and I wouldnt and I'm pretty sure this is what was making her crazy about me. My ability to say no to her and stand up to her is what really makes her want me. We both have very headstrong personalities and that is what makes the attraction. Meanwhile her boyfriend was basically getting her drinks and being her servant. She would be mean at him and he would just kind of take it like a pushover does. Anyways, like I said, about six of us were sitting around a table playing a card game and the flirting was really really overt to the point where everyone was noticing and kind of shocked that 1) I was hitting on her 2) She was flirting back 3) Her boyfriend was right there and not doing anything. We were making eye contact like crazy and talking in a kind of suttle sex tone. Eventually her boyfriend left for a cig outside or something and we started talking and I told her that I was attracted to her. She kind of panicked and giggled and went outside. I went to my room to kind of analyze what had just happend and she came back inside and came into my room and asked me if I was going to go to bed because of what she said/did. I said no and still hung out in the living room as the party died down. She left with her boyfriend at about 5am and that was the end of it. The next week she called my roommate again and said that she wanted to come over. She and my roommate talked a little about what happend and she said that her boyfriend said he was going to kick my *** if I did it again. My thoughts on that are if he really wanted to he would have got in my face right then and there at the party. I think he just said it to make her feel as if he was a tough guy or whatever. Anyways she was coming over again and said that this time her boyfriend wouldnt be. She came over with her girl roommate and to my surprise with her boyfriend. I could tell she didnt want him there because she was being mean to him again and he was offering to leave. He ended up staying and he didnt seem mad at me at all. I caught up with him in the kitchen and apologized for the way I acted the week before and he said it was okay. (Wow, what a pushover I was thinking.) Anyways I definately kept my distance that night but she was trying to make conversation with me again. I wasn't going to let that happen because I wanted to respect their relationship even if it was a ****ty one and even if he was kind of a loser. She got a little bit tipsy and made a few freudian slips when talking to me. They left early that night but I can tell she wanted me to flirt again. Her freshman year of college she spent partying too much/sleeping around and she almost dropped out and now she is getting perfect grades, she rarely drinks, and her figure has gone from good to perfect. It seems like she is really starting to take care of herself and I think that completing her picture would be getting with a guy that actually challenges her. I am not sure if we have a real personality attraction or if only the sexual part of our personalities connect. Anyways, have I gone too far? Am I out of my place? Should I even go after a girl who I know has cheated on her boyfriends MANY times and about did so with me? Sorry for the long write up but I need some advice.


Don't waste your time with her. Study, study, and study. If someone wants you, she will show up at your doorsteps. No need to devote energy to non-sense girls :)

[Zantra]

Hey all, I really enjoyed reading rocketboy's experience but I have a few troubles of my own.

My troubles arent as innocent as rocketboy's but I do have good intentions and I just need to know if what I am doing is across the line or not. There is a girl who I have known since highschool (going into junior year of college now) and our relationship was never really much in highschool. I was a bit anti-social and she was in the popular clique. We didnt know each other well and the few times we did interact it was because I was disagreeing with her in class or because I was defending a kid that her clique was giving a hard time to (I am outspoken when it comes to bullying.) We didn't like eachother at all. Anyways I was really skinny during highschool but once college started I put on weight and confidence and start going to parties and such. I didn't see her much the first year of college but I ended up at the same party during the beginning of our sophomore year. She was flirting with the same type of guys she always had, the types who only want her body and the types that she could boss around. I pulled her aside and asked her why she liked being treated like a piece of meat and we had a somewhat long (drunk) talk about her promiscuity, her always cheating on her boyfriends, and her almost failing out of college and she ended up hugging me and crying on my shoulder. I started kissing her but I let my hornyness take control and that kind of killed it. We all (about 10 of us) passed out and that was the end of the night. I saw her the next day in the college cafeteria and she blatantly avoided eye contact with me so I got a little pissed and avoided her as well and pushed her out of my mind. About 8 months later my roommate ran into her on campus and invited her over. She brought over her boyfriend (of 6 months) and it was a little awqward at first but as usual we all started getting drunk and the feelings started coming out. Now, as I stated I am pretty outspoken and I dont really give respect to people who dont deserve it (this is what she is attracted to I think.) I assumed that this boyfriend she brought over was just another idiot and so I didnt really give him any respect. Consequently, I started talking to her again and once we got drunk we started flirting with eachother really openly. She was trying to make me smoke my first ciggarette (Just to try and get me to do what she wanted) and I wouldnt and I'm pretty sure this is what was making her crazy about me. My ability to say no to her and stand up to her is what really makes her want me. We both have very headstrong personalities and that is what makes the attraction. Meanwhile her boyfriend was basically getting her drinks and being her servant. She would be mean at him and he would just kind of take it like a pushover does. Anyways, like I said, about six of us were sitting around a table playing a card game and the flirting was really really overt to the point where everyone was noticing and kind of shocked that 1) I was hitting on her 2) She was flirting back 3) Her boyfriend was right there and not doing anything. We were making eye contact like crazy and talking in a kind of suttle sex tone. Eventually her boyfriend left for a cig outside or something and we started talking and I told her that I was attracted to her. She kind of panicked and giggled and went outside. I went to my room to kind of analyze what had just happend and she came back inside and came into my room and asked me if I was going to go to bed because of what she said/did. I said no and still hung out in the living room as the party died down. She left with her boyfriend at about 5am and that was the end of it. The next week she called my roommate again and said that she wanted to come over. She and my roommate talked a little about what happend and she said that her boyfriend said he was going to kick my *** if I did it again. My thoughts on that are if he really wanted to he would have got in my face right then and there at the party. I think he just said it to make her feel as if he was a tough guy or whatever. Anyways she was coming over again and said that this time her boyfriend wouldnt be. She came over with her girl roommate and to my surprise with her boyfriend. I could tell she didnt want him there because she was being mean to him again and he was offering to leave. He ended up staying and he didnt seem mad at me at all. I caught up with him in the kitchen and apologized for the way I acted the week before and he said it was okay. (Wow, what a pushover I was thinking.) Anyways I definately kept my distance that night but she was trying to make conversation with me again. I wasn't going to let that happen because I wanted to respect their relationship even if it was a ****ty one and even if he was kind of a loser. She got a little bit tipsy and made a few freudian slips when talking to me. They left early that night but I can tell she wanted me to flirt again. Her freshman year of college she spent partying too much/sleeping around and she almost dropped out and now she is getting perfect grades, she rarely drinks, and her figure has gone from good to perfect. It seems like she is really starting to take care of herself and I think that completing her picture would be getting with a guy that actually challenges her. I am not sure if we have a real personality attraction or if only the sexual part of our personalities connect. Anyways, have I gone too far? Am I out of my place? Should I even go after a girl who I know has cheated on her boyfriends MANY times and about did so with me? Sorry for the long write up but I need some advice.

I think you would clash too much. I think just because she cleaned up her act after realizing she didn't want to flunk out of school, doens't mean she has changed the way she treats her men. It's a gamble, but that's what life's all about. I'd give it a shot. Date a few times and see where it leads. You don't strike me as the type who would take any crap, so she'll either yield and behave herself or she won't and it won't last. Either way you're young and what have you got to loose except a few hot dates?

Only one way to find out....

[PrudensOptimus]

Waste of money. Save it for books and other expenses.

[Zantra]

Waste of money. Save it for books and other expenses.


Never said anything about spending money on her. That would be a waste:wink:

[PrudensOptimus]

Well he's gotta pay the bill when he goes out with her, right?

[Hurkyl]

Well he's gotta pay the bill when he goes out with her, right
What world are you living in? :confused:

[Soilwork]

jeez Mattius you're a regular saint!!!

My opinion is probably going to piss people off, but from your 'adventures' it seems that you are a real mean guy. I think you should go for it. You two seem to deserve each other.

You say you speak up against bullies?? So wait, what was that girl doing to her boyfriend?? You hadn't even met the guy and there you are making assumptions and showing him no respect right from the bloody start. You start flirting with his girlfriend right in front of him, completely disregarding his presence. You only did this because he was such a pushover/loser right? Oh wait, it's not bullying when you're doing it is that also right?

I think that there is a definite personality connection with you and the girl. You are both self-centred and act with no civility. So there you go, you got the two ticks you needed for the relationship. The first tick is that you connect physically and then the second is that you connect on a personal level as well. You guys are the perfect match.

I know that you said you were sorry about the flirting thing, but from your description I just saw the insincerity oozing from the screen.

P.S. It doesn't matter if the boyfriend could easily defend himself physically...you're still bullying in a sense. Also from the way you've conducted yourself I'd say that your intentions are not good.

[Zantra]

What world are you living in? :confused:

Apparently the 1950's with that attitude. I'd EXPECT a woman to offer to split the cost of a date, maybe even offer to pay completely. Gold-digging women looking for a free meal need not apply. Nowadays that's completely acceptable.

[GeorginaS]

Dinner qualifies as "gold-digging" these days? (I want to insert that rolling, laughing head, but I can't get the advanced post reply to work for me today.)

[twisting_edge]

Folks, the consensus opinion on the "who pays issue" these days is very clear, at least for the first few dates.

The woman must offer to split the bill. While she is digging in her purse, the man must insist on paying the entire bill. If the man actually allows the woman to pay any part of it, that will be their last date.

I read that a couple of places in the last six months or so (mostly different articles in the NYT, most likely). It's not just my opinion on the matter.

The jokers still living on campus probably have their own rituals.

[rocketboy]

The only fights I've ever had with my gf have been over me always paying for everything (not really fights). She insists on paying every single time...but I don't think she's ever gotten away with it. It's really easy since it takes her so long to get out their purse, then get out her wallet, then get out her money/card....by the time she is ready to pay it's already been done!:smile:

and Mattius, I say go for it and have some fun. People's intentions don't always have to be honorable...there's nothing wrong with hooking up! Perhaps it won't work out as a relationship but what is to stop you two from having some good times? (or, more good times) Hell, the worst that can happen is nothing, which is what you'll get if you don't go for it. It's a win-win situation you're in! (unless of course you are looking for a relationship, in which case ur still 50-50!)

[Mattius_]

jeez Mattius you're a regular saint!!!

My opinion is probably going to piss people off, but from your 'adventures' it seems that you are a real mean guy. I think you should go for it. You two seem to deserve each other.

You say you speak up against bullies?? So wait, what was that girl doing to her boyfriend?? You hadn't even met the guy and there you are making assumptions and showing him no respect right from the bloody start. You start flirting with his girlfriend right in front of him, completely disregarding his presence. You only did this because he was such a pushover/loser right? Oh wait, it's not bullying when you're doing it is that also right?

I think that there is a definite personality connection with you and the girl. You are both self-centred and act with no civility. So there you go, you got the two ticks you needed for the relationship. The first tick is that you connect physically and then the second is that you connect on a personal level as well. You guys are the perfect match.

I know that you said you were sorry about the flirting thing, but from your description I just saw the insincerity oozing from the screen.

P.S. It doesn't matter if the boyfriend could easily defend himself physically...you're still bullying in a sense. Also from the way you've conducted yourself I'd say that your intentions are not good.

I omitted a lot of variables about the guy simply because he is a small part of my problem. The reason I started flirting was because I was drunk. The reason I kept doing it was because he didn't stop me. The fact that he didn't have the gonads to say anything really reinforced my assumptions that she was with the wrong type of guy, again. If a guy does not protect the girl he is with, that is a sign of serious weakness. Would you not feel ashamed if you just sat there and let some drunk fool hit on your girlfriend all night? How would you feel if your girlfriend started flirting back? Can you not see the disfunction in that relationship? How do you think she fealt when he didn't protect her? Would any woman on here stay with a guy who doesn't step in and protect her? Do you think any two people could have a happy future if that happend? In a way I guess my advances were a test to their relationship. If he just sat back and poured drinks while I moved in on his girlfriend, then I am just doing her a favor. If he got in my face and told me off, then damn, he would have been a hero to her and I would have been wrong. Despite my arrogance towards him, I SINCERELY felt bad about it and gave him a SINCERE apology. When he didn't even get stern with me or express that he was upset, I really lost respect for him. The fact of the matter is that I AM self-centered in some ways. I have pride in that because it shows that I have faith and confidence in myself. If I feel that I could be a perfect guy for a girl then some insecure guy isn't going to stand in my way. If instead I was cordial and respectful to their relationship like you suggest, then she will potentially get stuck with a loser and he could potentially be submissive for the rest of his life. If I am wrong about all of this, then their affection for each other should be enough to brush me aside.

Aside from justifying my behavior, I feel that our connection is 80% physical with a chance for a spiritual connection to blossum. I will tell her very directly that nothing will ever happen between us unless she is single. That condition isn't because I would feel guilty about superceding her boyfriend, but because of two more important reasons. 1) I value a 5% chance of a serious relationship more than some side action, and starting a relationship while they are still together would put our long term chances down to nill, and 2) She needs to understand that I don't approve of her not being honest with her boyfriend. He may be a pushover but I still think anyone in that position deserves to know if they are just wasting time. If anyone else disagrees with me I would like to here.

[Hurkyl]

The woman must offer to split the bill. While she is digging in her purse, the man must insist on paying the entire bill. If the man actually allows the woman to pay any part of it, that will be their last date.
If that's what the woman thinks, then I'll be happy for that to be the last date.

[PrudensOptimus]

If that's what the woman thinks, then I'll be happy for that to be the last date.


LOL,


Have your theory worked ever in your courtings?


-

[Omega_6]

LOL,


Have your theory worked ever in your courtings?


-

It has in mine...if the girl is not willing to give and compromise as well, then it is not a relationship.

[Moonbear]

LOL,


Have your theory worked ever in your courtings?


-
It has worked with me. It drives me nuts if a guy tries to pay for everything. I feel like I'm taking advantage of him, or like he's treating me like a child who can't take care of myself (guess that depends a bit on how else he acts). If a guy never lets me pay, it tells me he's not interested in a woman who can be independent and take care of herself, or that he wants us to starve on salad because the only other way to handle that is to just order really inexpensive food so you don't feel too guilty about it. :rolleyes:

[Zantra]

It has worked with me. It drives me nuts if a guy tries to pay for everything. I feel like I'm taking advantage of him, or like he's treating me like a child who can't take care of myself (guess that depends a bit on how else he acts). If a guy never lets me pay, it tells me he's not interested in a woman who can be independent and take care of herself, or that he wants us to starve on salad because the only other way to handle that is to just order really inexpensive food so you don't feel too guilty about it. :rolleyes:

Thank you.

And from the other side of the coin, if a woman assumes you're going to pay then orders something expensive, or going beyond dinner makes no attempt to be conservative with the money that she ASSUMES you're spending on her, heads up because you're likely being used. If the girl really likes you, she'll either offer to pay or not order something over priced. In fact most women will ask what you're having so they can order something less expensive. If you get a burger and she's having the filet mignon, beware. If it looks greedy, it is greedy.

I once had a girl who was blatantly using me for a free meal (first date) and order a very expensive meal. Needless to say the date went poorly, so when I was done eating, I got up and went to the bathroom- never to return.

[gravenewworld]

My biggest problem is that i dont have girl trouble. I haven't had a gf in a long time, and I'm really not THAT ugly.

[PrudensOptimus]

My biggest problem is that i dont have girl trouble. I haven't had a gf in a long time, and I'm really not THAT ugly.


My mother always tell me to go out with girls that love me, not with those whom I love. :tongue2:

[PrudensOptimus]

It has worked with me. It drives me nuts if a guy tries to pay for everything. I feel like I'm taking advantage of him, or like he's treating me like a child who can't take care of myself (guess that depends a bit on how else he acts). If a guy never lets me pay, it tells me he's not interested in a woman who can be independent and take care of herself, or that he wants us to starve on salad because the only other way to handle that is to just order really inexpensive food so you don't feel too guilty about it. :rolleyes:


:rofl:

I'll remember that! Next time, I'll give the girls chances to pay their shares of the bill!

[Moonbear]

I once had a girl who was blatantly using me for a free meal (first date) and order a very expensive meal. Needless to say the date went poorly, so when I was done eating, I got up and went to the bathroom- never to return.
Wow! That must have really been an awful date. I've had bad dates, but never so bad as to feel I needed to sneak out before it was over! I would recommend that anyone else winding up in that situation just take the check, put in their share, then hand it to her to put in her share. If she was expecting you to pay and is offended by that, so what? If it was going that badly anyway, it's not like you'd care if it ruined your chance of a second date.

[Moonbear]

:rofl:

I'll remember that! Next time, I'll give the girls chances to pay their shares of the bill!
Yeah, did you really think all women live on just salad, or that we only order that to look like we're watching our weight?

My parents used to tell me about how my mom ate only a hot dog on their first date. She didn't want my father to have to pay for an expensive meal, and since that was back in the day when men were always expected to pay for the first date, she only ordered a hot dog and insisted she was full after that. :rofl:

[Astronuc]

I once had a girl who was blatantly using me for a free meal (first date) and order a very expensive meal. Needless to say the date went poorly, so when I was done eating, I got up and went to the bathroom- never to return. That must have been an expensive restaurant. Before I'd go to a place like that, I'd try for lunch or picnic, or invite a girl to dinner.

With my wife, we initially met at a free outdoor concert. Her best friend was living with my best friend, and the meeting was quite accidental.
Subsequently, she and I just encountered each other at our friends' apartment, so dinner didn't cost anything. We talked while we helped in the kitchen, so we had a chance to get to know each other before we actually started dating.

We were both undergrads, so we both watched out expenses. We opted to cook for each other rather than go out to dinner.

We more or less lived together (mostly weekends and holidays) and got married after we both graduated. We then went to grad school together.

[Zantra]

Wow! That must have really been an awful date. I've had bad dates, but never so bad as to feel I needed to sneak out before it was over! I would recommend that anyone else winding up in that situation just take the check, put in their share, then hand it to her to put in her share. If she was expecting you to pay and is offended by that, so what? If it was going that badly anyway, it's not like you'd care if it ruined your chance of a second date.

No you don't understand. I didn't leave her with the check because the date was bad. That would be bad form. No she made it clear in no uncertain terms that she was just in this for the free meal. I've had other "bad dates" and just paid the bill and left. It was more about her motive.

[PrudensOptimus]

Yeah, did you really think all women live on just salad, or that we only order that to look like we're watching our weight?

My parents used to tell me about how my mom ate only a hot dog on their first date. She didn't want my father to have to pay for an expensive meal, and since that was back in the day when men were always expected to pay for the first date, she only ordered a hot dog and insisted she was full after that. :rofl:


Garden Chef Salad, ones with eggs and some carefully prepared meats, are the best for health and diet :)

A gentleman pays for the bill, just as did your father :D



No you don't understand. I didn't leave her with the check because the date was bad. That would be bad form. No she made it clear in no uncertain terms that she was just in this for the free meal. I've had other "bad dates" and just paid the bill and left. It was more about her motive.


Haha, she must have sat there for hours before leaving, wondering if you passed out on the toilet!

[Zantra]

Garden Chef Salad, ones with eggs and some carefully prepared meats, are the best for health and diet :)

A gentleman pays for the bill, just as did your father :D


well unless you also believe that a woman's place is in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant, that statement is a bit antiquated. Women want to be treated as equals. Paying for them makes a statement about a woman's place in society. Therefore, it would be a grave injustice to categorize women by offering to pay for thier meals.

Can't have your cake and eat it too:tongue2:


Haha, she must have sat there for hours before leaving, wondering if you passed out on the toilet!

Oh I'm pretty sure she had to call someone to bring some money, because it was an expensive meal. I feel she got what she deserved.

[PrudensOptimus]

Are you saying that by not paying fully for their meals, you are treating women equally?

[Zantra]

No I'm saying that by not assuming that it's the man's job to pay you're not succumbing to a stereotype that it's the man's job to pay. A lot of women are insulted by a man insisting on paying. And there's also the connotation that if a man pays, the woman owes him something. So paying gives the woman the opportunity to assert her independence and take care of herself

[PrudensOptimus]

No I'm saying that by not assuming that it's the man's job to pay you're not succumbing to a stereotype that it's the man's job to pay. A lot of women are insulted by a man insisting on paying. And there's also the connotation that if a man pays, the woman owes him something. So paying gives the woman the opportunity to assert her independence and take care of herself



A treatise courtship is!

[PrudensOptimus]

Bump!! F

[PrudensOptimus]

So.... How is everybody doing?

########################################$A little update on my life: Invited a girl to a nice symphony along with 40+ of my friends, Walked back with her and my friends to our dorm, Haven't seen her that much since, about 4 weeks now. Whenever I see her, I greet her. She acts either very shy or avoiding me. Pissing me off ><$##########################################

[Evo]

When I first start dating a man, I ALWAYS offer to pay my share of the tab. If he insists on paying the first time, then I insist on paying the next time. Back in the OLD days when women didn't work, or if they did, didn't make much, it was pretty much a given that the man would pay as a sign that he could support the woman.

Women work now and many make more than the men they date. I think it's ridiculous to expect the man to pay if you are working. If he insists on taking you to some place that you can't afford, then you need to let him know, then if he insists on treating, you still need to return the favor with something within your means, perhaps a home cooked meal.

I'd feel like a prostitute if I let the man pay for everything.

[DaveC426913]

When I first start dating a man, I ALWAYS offer to pay my share of the tab. If he insists on paying the first time, then I insist on paying the next time.
Yes.

Sexism aside, this type of negotiation is fertile soil for a communicative, cooperative relationship to take root. It doesn't so much matter what the outcome is, so much as how you negotiate it together. You can pick up a lot about a person based on how gracious or expectant they are.

A gentleman offering to pay can be as innocent-significant as "I wish to put effort into this relationship."

[rhuthwaite]

I always pay for the whole thing when I start dating a man. Sometimes we share but generally I pay (I don't like splitting costs). After a while though we start alternating who pays.
PrudensOptimus you sound like a real gentleman and deserve better than that girl. I would be annoyed too, she sounds like a ****ing idiot

[big man]

haha hang on...hold the phones.

Was it meant to be a date or something? 'cause if it was then it wasn't the brightest ideas to have her tagging along with 40+ friends of yours.

40+ friends going to a symphony? Is that an ordinary night out with close friends? Because if that is an ordinary night out with close friends then all I have to say is "holy ****!!".

First of all, was she shy around you before?
If she hasn't been shy around you before then did you notice if she didn't feel apart of the 'group' when you went to the symphony?
Depending on her personality, she might have felt intimidated by 40+ friends...

Just some probable reasons...maybe ;)

But you know you could just ask her out again and then you will find out for sure whether she doesn't like you or not and has been avoiding you for a reason.

[PrudensOptimus]

I always pay for the whole thing when I start dating a man. Sometimes we share but generally I pay (I don't like splitting costs). After a while though we start alternating who pays.
PrudensOptimus you sound like a real gentleman and deserve better than that girl. I would be annoyed too, she sounds like a ****ing idiot


40+ friends were sitting in the balcony,

She and I were sitting next to each other on the main floor.

We had a great time, and even she rated it a 20/20 before we bid good night to each other.

And, yes, ordinary night out with friends and colleagues. I am involved in many things on campus.

But somehow, she and another guy went to another symphony a week after ours... And I can tell she's been avoiding me. Sigh.

Sad thing is that she and I work together in student government. We see each other at weekly meetings. And furthermore, I am on the committee that approves/declines fundings for student applications. She submitted one that is pending.

She likes cooking, so I invited her to join my Student Iron Chef team, she told me she'll check her schedule and reply back. Never did. We had the competition a day ago and my team won and proceeds to the finals.

I don't know what else I can do at this moment. I guess love can be magical sometimes, but sometimes magic is just... illusional.

[Evo]

We had a great time, and even she rated it a 20/20 before we bid good night to each other.Do you often get your dates rated? :smile:

But somehow, she and another guy went to another symphony a week after ours... And I can tell she's been avoiding me. Sigh. Not good.

She likes cooking, so I invited her to join my Student Iron Chef team, she told me she'll check her schedule and reply back. Never did.Really not good. :frown:

We had the competition a day ago and my team won and proceeds to the finals.Congratulations!!!! (Iron Chef is my favorite tv show)

[JasonRox]

Thank you.

I once had a girl who was blatantly using me for a free meal (first date) and order a very expensive meal. Needless to say the date went poorly, so when I was done eating, I got up and went to the bathroom- never to return.

What?!

If I were single, I would kind of like that in a way. It's such a challenge, but obviously you don't display the idea that she's a challenge or anything.

Don't fear girls that you think they can overpower you because if you do, then they literally can overpower you. Hence, why you needed to run because that was the only way out.

[PrudensOptimus]

It was a rating for the symphony and my organizing of the event, not the date.

[ultranet]

maybe you are just over-reacting... give some time for yourself.

[Robert Mak]

lol........................

[mathwonk]

judging by the number of hits on this thread, and the ask a stupid question thread, i should have named my math thread " how to be a mathematician and meet girls, for compleat idiots".

[Evo]

judging by the number of hits on this thread, and the ask a stupid question thread, i should have named my math thread " how to be a mathematician and meet girls, for compleat idiots".Are you just now picking up on that :wink:

[Evo]

He did seem to be in the episode I saw (it was the one where he went to meet the women's families...I'm not sure which was worse, having the one woman's dad pull out the shotgun and tell him that's what he'd use on any guy that hurt his daughter, or the one whose "friend" showed up with a wedding gown! Can you say "RUN!!!!!!?")Oh, I know, that dad was nuts, but that woman with the timeline and wedding dress was CRAZY. He dumped her tonight. :approve:

[Moonbear]

Oh, I know, that dad was nuts, but that woman with the timeline and wedding dress was CRAZY. He dumped her tonight. :approve:
See, he IS a smart guy! I think he wanted to bolt the moment he saw that wedding gown and learned about her "life plan" but could only dump one at a time. :rofl: I think I'd have taken my chances with someone who has a language barrier and cut loose the one with the wedding dress first though. Creepy!

Guys, if a woman pulls out a wedding gown and tells you she knows exactly what age she wants to be married, and what age she'll have her first kid, and you haven't even met her parents yet...RUN! She's crazy! :surprised

[Evo]

See, he IS a smart guy! I think he wanted to bolt the moment he saw that wedding gown and learned about her "life plan" but could only dump one at a time. :rofl: I think I'd have taken my chances with someone who has a language barrier and cut loose the one with the wedding dress first though. Creepy!Yeah, that surprised me because he seemed to enjoy the evening with the Italian girl.

Guys, if a woman pulls out a wedding gown and tells you she knows exactly what age she wants to be married, and what age she'll have her first kid, and you haven't even met her parents yet...RUN! She's crazy! :surprisedPSYCHO is more like it. DERANGED perhaps? What type of woman actually does something like that? :surprised

[Dimitri Terryn]

I am NOT a Cosmo reader. :grumpy:
:eek: Thank god. Nearly had a heart attack there!

judging by the number of hits on this thread, and the ask a stupid question thread, i should have named my math thread " how to be a mathematician and meet girls, for compleat idiots".

Stands to reason, doesn't it? I hate to say this, but I think it's more probable that people browsing a MATH & PHYSICS forum will have more trouble with wooing girls then with math & physics. I can say this without being condesending, because I'm a long time bachelor myself :biggrin:

[twisting_edge]

Stands to reason, doesn't it? I hate to say this, but I think it's more probable that people browsing a MATH & PHYSICS forum will have more trouble with wooing girls then with math & physics. I can say this without being condesending, because I'm a long time bachelor myself
Oddly enough, I made precisely the same comment last night about this forum: "It's only natural to expect girls looking for male attention after a breakup to frequent the place occasionally: where better to find a truckload of unfulfilled male libido than a closet full of geeks?"

[Evo]

Oddly enough, I made precisely the same comment last night about this forum: "It's only natural to expect girls looking for male attention after a breakup to frequent the place occasionally: where better to find a truckload of unfulfilled male libido than a closet full of geeks?"Ah yes, the trolling trollops. :biggrin:

[twisting_edge]

Maybe he was hoping you'd be thinking of him when you saw those titles.
The causal chain you propose is reversed, but otherwise fairly accurate.

[twisting_edge]

I caught one episode of that. I kinda liked this one. He seems more genuine than the ones in other shows. Or else he's just a better actor.
Guys, be prepared to run for your sanity: this has all the makings of a hen-party.

[Moonbear]

Guys, be prepared to run for your sanity: this has all the makings of a hen-party.
Pfft! The excitement is over, he ditched the psycho. There is some hope for men yet. :biggrin:

[Evo]

Pfft! The excitement is over, he ditched the psycho. There is some hope for men yet. :biggrin:Next Monday, a special "the women tell all" episode. :approve:

[twisting_edge]

Guys, be prepared to run for your sanity: this has all the makings of a hen-party.
Pfft! The excitement is over, he ditched the psycho. There is some hope for men yet. :biggrin:
Next Monday, a special "the women tell all" episode. :approve:
See what I mean?

I originally cut & pasted a whole bunch of the preceding discussion, cutting out the rational bits (i.e., the posts from males). I decided not to post it, however. The results were downright scary.

Sister Sister of Math is Hard's boyfriend might've had the right idea after all.

[Astronuc]

Guys, be prepared to run for your sanity: this has all the makings of a hen-party. Hmmmm! Seems like typical rooster behavior. Trying to all the other guys away, so he can have all the hens to himself. :biggrin:

[Moonbear]

Hmmmm! Seems like typical rooster behavior. Trying to all the other guys away, so he can have all the hens to himself. :biggrin:
Ah, but if he keeps up with this approach, he may find himself a capon rather than a rooster! :devil:

[Astronuc]

Ah, but if he keeps up with this approach, he may find himself a capon rather than a rooster! :devil: You sisters play rough! Too rough!

[twisting_edge]

Guys, be prepared to run for your sanity: this has all the makings of a hen-party.
Ah, but if he keeps up with this approach, he may find himself a capon rather than a rooster! :devil:
You sisters play rough! Too rough!
She could hardly have better proved my point if she tried, n'est pas?

[Gza]

Wow, I haven't posted on this board for a few years now, and this thread is STILL GOING ON?!?!?!?!

[JasonRox]

Ok, I have my own problem now.

How do I get a girl to leave me alone? She knows I have a girlfriend. I barely show interests as a friend. I don't even say bye.

What the hell!?

[twisting_edge]

How do I get a girl to leave me alone? She knows I have a girlfriend. I barely show interests as a friend. I don't even say bye.
Easy: go after her. You might want to warn your current girlfriend first. But it will work.

One of the main reasons she's interested is probably because she knows you're "safe". You aren't going to pursue the matter.

[JasonRox]

Easy: go after her. You might want to warn your current girlfriend first. But it will work.

One of the main reasons she's interested is probably because she knows you're "safe". You aren't going to pursue the matter.

Not really.

I'm sure she wants it.

Most girls make it clear that they don't care that you have a girlfriend or not.

[twisting_edge]

Not really.

I'm sure she wants it.
There's just one way to find out, and I bet you'll be very surprised at the result.

[Peregrine]

Try being nice to her. But talk about your girlfriend anytime you see her. She'll get the hint.

For some reason I don't comprehend, many girls often enjoy the chase for attention, and the harder it is to get, the harder they pursue it (much as Twisting Edge says.) But, the same sort hate even more when they get attention but it's completely focused on another girl.

[JasonRox]

Good point.

I kind of forgot about that trick.

[Moonbear]

Have you told her directly, but politely, that you're not interested? If not, try that first. If you have done that already, and she's still being annoying trying to hit on you, try the direct, but rude approach..."Look, I told you I'm not interested, leave me the **** alone, you ****ing psycho *****!" Only the real psychos would stick around even after that.

[JasonRox]

Have you told her directly, but politely, that you're not interested? If not, try that first. If you have done that already, and she's still being annoying trying to hit on you, try the direct, but rude approach..."Look, I told you I'm not interested, leave me the **** alone, you ****ing psycho *****!" Only the real psychos would stick around even after that.

I just don't really talk to her.

[verty]

I would think it's an ego thing. If you did decide to have a fling with her, she would end it after the first encounter. She would have made her point: she could wrest you away from your girlfriend.

There's just one way to find out, and I bet you'll be very surprised at the result.

Don't listen to that. You'll only end up being used.

[Weave]

Get her in bed one night, dump her, then pursue other prey. Then again that is just me.

[verty]

I can see where Weave's brain is situated...

[whitay]

at least he's got it thinking straight ;).

[twisting_edge]

There's just one way to find out, and I bet you'll be very surprised at the result.Don't listen to that. You'll only end up being used.
Life is a learning expereince. If he doesn't believe me, then he can find out the hard way.

Also, I'd like to point out that not all that much has changed since before he had a girlfriend. He probably ran into similar encounters prior to that, only to find out there was no real interest after all. But in this case, since he knows he isn't planning on doing anything about it, he can afford to be optimisitic about her intentions.

Once he puts himself in the role of having to actually do something about all those "signals", he may find they suddenly look a lot less clear.

As I said, there is precisely one way to find out. Merely running an "as if" scenario in your mind doesn't cut it. We all like to think we would do things that in practice we never will.

[JasonRox]

Get her in bed one night, dump her, then pursue other prey. Then again that is just me.

I can do better than her, so I wouldn't even give her a night.

[JasonRox]

Life is a learning expereince. If he doesn't believe me, then he can find out the hard way.

Also, I'd like to point out that not all that much has changed since before he had a girlfriend. He probably ran into similar encounters prior to that, only to find out there was no real interest after all. But in this case, since he knows he isn't planning on doing anything about it, he can afford to be optimisitic about her intentions.

Once he puts himself in the role of having to actually do something about all those "signals", he may find they suddenly look a lot less clear.

As I said, there is precisely one way to find out. Merely running an "as if" scenario in your mind doesn't cut it. We all like to think we would do things that in practice we never will.

Um... if they tell you...

I want to **** you.

She does want to **** me. That is the deal. If a girl walks up to me and says, I want to **** you (and she has a boyfriend). That is also clear of the intentions. They will ask for rides home. Offer to pick you up. Ask you out. Even tell you, that they want you and like you. And so and so on... so I'm sure this isn't an "illusion" that you experience all the time.

One time taking the bus, a girl was checking me out for most of the ride and then later when she got off the bus, she got into a fight about me with her boyfriend who was ON the bus. I know this because I met that girl later. She also made it clear that she wants it. So, also this is just an illusion? Girls risking their own relationship for this game you think exists?

The experiences that I'm experiencing are different from yours. So, you probably bump into girls who show interests, but in reality they are just being nice to you or something. Well, I'm sorry, but this isn't the case. Not in many cases. So, don't compare. I'm not stepping into this "reality" that you think exists. It's sad you feel like your "reality" applies everywhere since most of it is false.

I will not freaking try and make a move and see where she goes with it. Why? Because I'm not a moron, and I know she will take it as far as she can.

[Physics is Phun]

Ok, so apparently i'm always going after the girls that send out mixed signals. orrrrr, i'm just really bad at reading them:tongue2: (more than likely the latter)
there's this girl at my work. we're both students from the same school on a co-op job there. I already have a pretty good friend relationship with her, cause i drive her to work everyday and we get along great. sometimes she seems really flirty with me like i'll be just leaning talking to her and she'll get really close almost standing on my feet. and she's always playing footsies under the table and there's lots of long eye contact.
BUT. the problem is there is this other guy at work that she likes and on several occasions has talked to me about him. now the thing is he's like 30 something and we're 20. so she's obviously not reaaaally gonna persue anything, but she likes talking about it. But it's gotten to the point where she says stuff like Oh he was ignoring me again today when I tried to talk to him. and she wants my advice :uhh:
so that's not a good sign, i reckon
However, yesterday was our company christmas party and she was just glued to me the whole night. she had a few drinks in her and she was really coming on to me alot like rubbing my leg with her foot under the table and saying things like 'isn't my dress really soft' now I know i'm not imagining it because i was talking to my friend later and he agreed that she was really into me.
BUT. during the party she also made mention a few times of that other guy from work and she seemed annoyed that he was there with a date.
oh, and she also seemed it necessary to fill my camera with pictures of herself :confused:
Soooooo, to sum up. I don't know what the hell is going on here. Is she just being friendly with me and doesn't know were to draw the line (she an immigrant, mexico, if that makes any difference) or, is there something there and she's just trying to make me jealous?
oy vay!

[verty]

@PiP: She sounds insecure...

[Astronuc]

Soooooo, to sum up. I don't know what the hell is going on here. Is she just being friendly with me and doesn't know were to draw the line (she an immigrant, mexico, if that makes any difference) or, is there something there and she's just trying to make me jealous?
oy vay! Just ask her in a nice way. Tell her that you really like and see where that goes.

I prefer the direct approach, but then I've been out of dating other women for 26+ years. :biggrin:

[JasonRox]

Ok, so apparently i'm always going after the girls that send out mixed signals. orrrrr, i'm just really bad at reading them:tongue2: (more than likely the latter)
there's this girl at my work. we're both students from the same school on a co-op job there. I already have a pretty good friend relationship with her, cause i drive her to work everyday and we get along great. sometimes she seems really flirty with me like i'll be just leaning talking to her and she'll get really close almost standing on my feet. and she's always playing footsies under the table and there's lots of long eye contact.
BUT. the problem is there is this other guy at work that she likes and on several occasions has talked to me about him. now the thing is he's like 30 something and we're 20. so she's obviously not reaaaally gonna persue anything, but she likes talking about it. But it's gotten to the point where she says stuff like Oh he was ignoring me again today when I tried to talk to him. and she wants my advice :uhh:
so that's not a good sign, i reckon
However, yesterday was our company christmas party and she was just glued to me the whole night. she had a few drinks in her and she was really coming on to me alot like rubbing my leg with her foot under the table and saying things like 'isn't my dress really soft' now I know i'm not imagining it because i was talking to my friend later and he agreed that she was really into me.
BUT. during the party she also made mention a few times of that other guy from work and she seemed annoyed that he was there with a date.
oh, and she also seemed it necessary to fill my camera with pictures of herself :confused:
Soooooo, to sum up. I don't know what the hell is going on here. Is she just being friendly with me and doesn't know were to draw the line (she an immigrant, mexico, if that makes any difference) or, is there something there and she's just trying to make me jealous?
oy vay!

If she's still talking about the other guy, that would be a bad sign.

[Moonbear]

PiP, it sounds like she's into you, but...do you really want someone like that? I have two interpretations of why she's telling you about that other guy, and neither of them sounds good. 1) She's not really interested in him, but is trying to make you jealous to get your attention (i.e., she's a game player...ugh!), or 2) She's pursuing both of you at the same time, and/or doesn't know what she wants (i.e., might lead to short-term fun, but she's going to wander off as soon as someone more "challenging" catches her attention).

The "game playing" may just be immaturity or insecurity, and something that can be overcome if she learns it's not very productive.

I can only suggest a cautious approach, since she might just be a flirty person and really is interested in the other guy. Next time she starts talking about him, give her the advice she's looking for. Tell her that guys don't usually get "hints," so if she's really interested in someone, she should just tell him she's attracted to him and would like to go out sometime. Depending on her intentions, she'll either interpret that as good, friendly advice about how to initiate a conversation with the other guy, or she'll realize you're not necessarily reading her hints and have just given her the invitation to declare her affections for you. It's the sort of thing that will avoid having you misinterpret her intentions and make your friendship awkward.

[Evo]

However, yesterday was our company christmas party and she was just glued to me the whole night. she had a few drinks in her and she was really coming on to me alot like rubbing my leg with her foot under the table and saying things like 'isn't my dress really soft' now I know i'm not imagining it because i was talking to my friend later and he agreed that she was really into me.
BUT. during the party she also made mention a few times of that other guy from work and she seemed annoyed that he was there with a date.She was using you to try to make him jealous. I'm sorry, but you need to stay away from her.

[Evo]

Ok, thread pruned. Come on neither of you know what the girl has on her mind, it could be any of the scenarios either of you are thinking. (I should talk, seeing the previous post by me). :redface:

Jason, have you told this girl to back off? If your girlfriend finds out that the other girl is blatantly hitting on you and you haven't flat out told her to stop, she might get upset.

[Pyrrhus]

This is one of those topics that just won't die! :rofl:

[Astronuc]

It's the 'Never Ending Story' :rofl:

[Weave]

Women are truly from venus

[Physics is Phun]

Next time she starts talking about him, give her the advice she's looking for. Tell her that guys don't usually get "hints," so if she's really interested in someone, she should just tell him she's attracted to him and would like to go out sometime. Depending on her intentions, she'll either interpret that as good, friendly advice about how to initiate a conversation with the other guy, or she'll realize you're not necessarily reading her hints and have just given her the invitation to declare her affections for you.

wow
that is like the best idea i've ever heard. and so simple.
THANKS

[PrudensOptimus]

So... how is everybody doing?

[Math Is Hard]

So... how is everybody doing?

Hey - good to see you! :smile: All is well here. What have you been up to?

[PrudensOptimus]

Well, I am currently doing research in the summer under a professor at Johns Hopkins.

It surprises me to see very few hot chix on campus...

[Physics is Phun]

well, it appears I am the one that killed this 1400 post thread 6 months ago. never knew I had it in me lol
and I had girl troubles? wow barely even recall anymore :P

[Bleach12233]

After reading all of this i wondered if i could get this to start up once more :) 2 years it has been since this ended

[Bleach12233]

Pruden if your still there(Probably not) hows your life?

[Saladsamurai]

After reading all of this i wondered if i could get this to start up once more :) 2 years it has been since this ended

I don't understand why someone would join PF just to wake a thread up after two years of dormancy especially when the original topic was so stupid that it should have been locked in the first place. :confused:

Are people that bored with their lives?

[sas3]

Who knew that chocolate had such an effect on women. I sure didn't.


Money works also, but I think that's because they can exchange it for chocolate.

An old girlfreind told me that she only dated me because she loved the way my hands looked.

Women are strange.

[Math Is Hard]

After reading all of this i wondered if i could get this to start up once more :) 2 years it has been since this ended

You read ALL of this?? :eek:

[Bleach12233]

Well that's just who I am I like to observe conversations plus after reading 91 pages I thought I should try and make it 100 pages :)

[Bleach12233]

Yes I read all 91 pages of it :)

[Gnosis]

Why hasn't this thread been locked or deleted altogether???

[Bleach12233]

I dont want it locked or deleted

[Gnosis]

I dont want it locked or deleted

So you enjoy beating a dead horse, ay? :tongue2: This thread long ago ran its course and significantly more important threads have been locked. Let this one rest in peace...

[Bleach12233]

Sadly I will not.

[Saladsamurai]

Sadly I will not.

Sadly you are not a moderator, so it is not your call.

[Topher925]

If jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, then why does he keep doing it?

[edward]

Cyrus ain't gonna like this.:biggrin:

[Math Is Hard]

I'm a little nervous about what will happen when Cyrus sees this.

[Kurdt]

Your evil MIH leaving this open for Cyrus. :wink:

[Lisa!]

Yes I read all 91 pages of it :)

So if you read 91 pages, could you let us know if you've learnt something worthy to mention? I mean was it helpful? Have you learned something new?:smile:

[Evo]

Why hasn't this thread been locked or deleted altogether???It's a PF Classic. This is the longest ongoing relationship thread in PF history, which is why it has not been locked. I was hoping someone would resurrect it.

[Bleach12233]

I could get it going :)

[Bleach12233]

So if you read 91 pages, could you let us know if you've learnt something worthy to mention? I mean was it helpful? Have you learned something new?:smile:

Yes I have. reading this I have learned a few tips.

[rootX]

Yes I have reading this I have learned a few tips.

procrastination? :rolleyes:

[creepypasta13]

i read all 92 pages of this

[Cyrus]

I don't have the time or the patience to care anymore. This isnt a new thread, so I don't mind. If everyone kept all these girl problems inside one single thread, that would be fine. But no, we need to have a million of them...

[BobG]

I could get it going :)


But you haven't given us any new girl trouble to comment about. :grumpy:

You don't even tell us what you've learned. :grumpy:

Therefore, the only thing we can do is gripe about resurrecting a dead thread. Now, if Prudens Optimus's original girlfriend was dead and you resurrected her .... :cool:

[Bleach12233]

Ok I understand lets see here I guess I'm having girl problems :) there is a girl I like.She is very quite and I don't really know how to get to know her better any Ideas? And she sits in the very back corner in class she only talks to her friends and it is very difficult to approach her because she is always with her friends. And don't want to embarrass her in front of her friends.

[mcknia07]

Are you being for real??

[Bleach12233]

Yes........

[Bleach12233]

Why do you ask.

[baywax]

Ok I understand lets see here I guess I'm having girl problems :) there is a girl I like but does not necessarily like me and she is very quite and I don't really know how to get to know her better any Ideas?

Attempt to get to know her.

Any resistance should be your clue to move on.

Unless you're in elementary school where girls pretend to hate the guys they like.

[mcknia07]

Well, step 1. Try to talk to her....lol

[Bleach12233]

No I'm not in elementary.I edited my post so look back on it again.

[mcknia07]

How old are you??

[Bleach12233]

i'm 14

[Cyrus]

You're too young to date.

[Bleach12233]

Lmfao Clearly you do not know what our Earth has become.

[mcknia07]

Yeah, too young to date! No more advise for the young one....

[Bleach12233]

Please take a look at this link. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080727065630AADP8Pj

[Athrapy]

I would have to agree with Cyrus.

[completenoob]

Girls are a peculiar animal.

[mcknia07]

Hey now......

[Astronuc]

. . . . And don't want to embarrass her in front of her friends. Or one does not want to embarrass oneself in front of her friends.

Lmfao Clearly you do not know what our Earth has become. Hmmmm. At 14, how can one conclude this about older folks who've been around much longer.

As for the link to answers.yahoo - 20080727065630AADP8Pj, that's pretty sad. Of course, it could be a hoax, i.e. just some yanking chains, but then again it could be a poorly educated 13-yr who made a really poor decision. She should consult her mother, if not both parents.

[Focus]

Is this where we get social advice? I am a mathematician, is there any hope for me? Will I ever lead a normal life?

[BobG]

Is this where we get social advice? I am a mathematician, is there any hope for me? Will I ever lead a normal life?

No, you have The Knack (http://video.aol.com/video-detail/the-knack-dilbert/2911399887)

Oh, wait, you're a mathematician. Actually, that's even worse. All the downsides and you still don't make any money.

[Bleach12233]

All i want is to get to 1500 posts and 100 pages :)

[Kurdt]

I can solve your 100 pages immediately. Just change how many posts are displayed per page. I have 150 pages for this thread. :tongue:

[baywax]

Gee, a post for every girl I've known.....:tongue2:

[mcknia07]

Wow, you must have known quite a few ladies.....

[baywax]

Wow, you must have known quite a few ladies.....

I have been fortunate enough to know many very fine women. 7 years on the road with a band will do that to you. Some of the absolute best are American!

[rootX]

All i want is to get to 1500 posts and 100 pages :)

I will be 1500th!

[Evo]

This is only page 94 for me.

[Bleach12233]

I'm the last post :)

[Bleach12233]

Lol LAST POST

[JasonRox]

Ever try dating a girl from a different country with different culture practices?

[baywax]

Ever try dating a girl from a different country with different culture practices?

Isn't everybody from another culture? I mean different family practices, different diets, different religions, different stem cell culture.

[JasonRox]

Isn't everybody from another culture? I mean different family practices, different diets, different religions, different stem cell culture.

Haha, yeah, but not quite like that.

I noticed lots of Chinese girls are conservative, and I don't know. It's different dating them.

[BobG]

Ok I understand lets see here I guess I'm having girl problems :) there is a girl I like.She is very quite and I don't really know how to get to know her better any Ideas? And she sits in the very back corner in class she only talks to her friends and it is very difficult to approach her because she is always with her friends. And don't want to embarrass her in front of her friends.

This is easy. You just have to approach her and strike up a conversation. For example:

She's sitting alone at a table in the cafeteria sipping a glass of wine while reading a book and the seat opposite her is empty. You confidently walk up and say:

You: Excuse me. Is this chair taken?
Her: Excuse me?
You: IS THIS SEAT TAKEN?
Her: Yes, it is, and why are you yelling?
You: Oh. Sorry.
Her: Sure thing.

You spend the next two hours watching her read at an empty table and no one ever sits in the other chair. You know she's lying about the seat being taken.

[BobG]

Actually, that didn't turn out very well. Try this:

She's sitting alone at a table in the cafeteria sipping a glass of wine while reading a book and the seat opposite her is empty. You confidently walk up and say:

You: Excuse me. Is this chair taken?
Her: Excuse me?
You: Is this seat taken?
Her: No, but I'm expecting somebody in a minute.
You: Oh. Thanks anyway.
Her: Sure thing.

You spend the next two hours watching her read at an empty table and no one shows up to sit in the other chair. You know she's lying about expecting a companion.

[BobG]

Damn, that turned out almost exactly the same. Try this:

She's sitting alone at a table in the cafeteria sipping a glass of wine while reading a book and the seat opposite her is empty. You confidently walk up and say:

You: Excuse me. Is this chair taken?
Her: Excuse me?
You: Is this seat taken?
Her: No it's not.
You: Would you mind if I sit here?.
Her: Yes, you creep me out.
You: I'm leaving. Please don't scream.

Better. At least you don't waste two hours waiting to see if anyone sits in the other chair.

[baywax]

Haha, yeah, but not quite like that.

I noticed lots of Chinese girls are conservative, and I don't know. It's different dating them.

We have a huge Chinese/Japanese and Korean population here. I was lucky enough to go out with a Chinese Canadian Oncology Epidemiologist (girl) for... about 16 hours... this was quite an experience. Her concerns were different from mine... but then my concerns are pretty different from most people's. But I could definitely detect a difference with her from, say, going out with a Scottish/German/Ukrainian/Finnish/English/Francophone/Canadian or someone of similar origin. The Chinese are very private unless they like you or think you will understand their position. She was actually a dream date since there were few strings attached. I think my own Scottish/English/Irish Canadian genes were a bit stubborn about warming up to her in some ways. This is not a racist or isolationist attitude... I think its an actual, physiological/genetic barrier that needs to be coaxed down from "alert" when mating practices are initiated between two very separate sub-species.

Another incident involved an Indo-Canadian woman who was tied to her family like nobody's business. As Indian tradition dictates she had to care for her brothers and her father... and help the mother. So she was rarely out on her own. And when she was she was (silently) required to be out with one of her country men. So, as welcome as my advances were during lunches at work... there was no chance to really "get to know". By definition, in this thread, that is "girl trouble". But, in this case, there was no shortage of women working at a Cancer Clinic. But you always want what you can't have for some reason.

[baywax]

Damn, that turned out almost exactly the same. Try this:

She's sitting alone at a table in the cafeteria sipping a glass of wine while reading a book and the seat opposite her is empty. You confidently walk up and say:

You: Excuse me. Is this chair taken?
Her: Excuse me?
You: Is this seat taken?
Her: No it's not.
You: Would you mind if I sit here?.
Her: Yes, you creep me out.
You: I'm leaving. Please don't scream.

Better. At least you don't waste two hours waiting to see if anyone sits in the other chair.

Haa haaaa.:rofl:

[Bleach12233]

LMFAO hahaha I would never do that and her friends would be with her.

[BobG]

LMFAO hahaha I would never do that and her friends would be with her.

What do you mean you'd never do that?! You have to be bold. Let's try again.

She's sitting alone at a table in the cafeteria sipping a glass of wine while reading a book and the seat opposite her is empty. You confidently walk up and say:

You: Excuse me. Is this chair taken?
Her: Excuse me?
You: Is this seat taken?
Her: No it's not.
You: Would you mind if I sit here?.
Her: No, go ahead.
You: Did you just call me a goathead?
Her: Uh, no. I said you could sit there. May as well. No one else is using that chair.
You: Oh, thanks.
Her: (silence - she's reading after all. Except she moves her lips when she reads. That kind of bugs me, but....)
You: This is a nice place to read. Good book?
Her: The sound and the fury.
You: Oh, Hemmingway. Good choice.

Very good opening. You've found common ground and something to discuss. Well, I've never actually read 'The Sound and the Fury', but you can sometimes figure out a lot just from the title and just fake the rest.

[lisab]

What do you mean you'd never do that?! You have to be bold. Let's try again.

She's sitting alone at a table in the cafeteria sipping a glass of wine while reading a book and the seat opposite her is empty. You confidently walk up and say:

You: Excuse me. Is this chair taken?
Her: Excuse me?
You: Is this seat taken?
Her: No it's not.
You: Would you mind if I sit here?.
Her: No, go ahead.
You: Did you just call me a goathead?
Her: Uh, no. I said you could sit there. May as well. No one else is using that chair.
You: Oh, thanks.
Her: (silence - she's reading after all. Except she moves her lips when she reads. That kind of bugs me, but....)
You: This is a nice place to read. Good book?
Her: The sound and the fury.
You: Oh, Hemmingway. Good choice.

Very good opening. You've found common ground and something to discuss. Well, I've never actually read 'The Sound and the Fury', but you can sometimes figure out a lot just from the title and just fake the rest.


If you're good at lip reading, you can sit and watch her, and enjoy the book vicariously.

Faulkner's rolling in his grave, btw.

[physics girl phd]

I just want to know what cafeteria serves wine... :biggrin:

At such a cafeteria, I'd certainly let someone sit next to me... especially if he offered to go through the line and get me a refill!

[BobG]

If you're good at lip reading, you can sit and watch her, and enjoy the book vicariously.

Faulkner's rolling in his grave, btw.

What?!! :surprised Er, I mean, it doesn't matter. How is she going to know who wrote ......

Uh, I mean. That's a great lesson for you! Don't fake the author's name when she's holding the book. I've noticed some books have the author's name right on the cover.

You should probably spend a couple months visiting the library before you approach her. Then try again.

She's sitting alone at a table in the cafeteria sipping a glass of Boones Farm (good point about the cafeteria - you're probably not going to find the more expensive brands) while reading a book and the seat opposite her is empty. You confidently walk up and say:

You: Excuse me. Is this chair taken?
Her: Excuse me?
You: Is this seat taken?
Her: No it's not.
You: Would you mind if I sit here?.
Her: No, go ahead.
You: Oh, thanks.
Her: (silence - she's reading after all. Thank god she's finally learned to read without moving her lips.)
You: This is a nice place to read. Good book?
Her: In love and trouble.
You: What?! :grumpy: You were reading 'The Sound and the Fury' the last time I saw you here!
Her: What?! Are you stalking me?!
You: Uh, no. I just like Faulkner.
Her: Oh, you've read his books, too?
You: Uh, no. But, I hear he's a great author.
Her: Oh.
You: Yep, William Faulkner. Great writer he is!
Her: mm-hmm (with her nose buried in her book).
You: Yep, yep, yep. Gotta love that Faulkner.
Her: mmmm (with her nose buried in her book).
You: Yep, just love that Hemmingway.
Her: What?!
You: I mean Faulkner. Just love that Faulkner. Funny, if you delete the a, l, and n, his name would be .... uh :uhh:
Her: Grrrrrr (with her nose buried even deeper in her book).
You: Uh, I mean, greatest writer of the 20th century (please, god, please let him have lived in the 20th century!)
Her: Hnnggh! Grrrrrrr! Gggggggh! (with her nose furiously buried deep in her book)
You: Uh, I just remembered. I have to meet with my parole officer.


Notice the smooth exit, cutting ties completely. I'm not sure what it means when a woman starts making animal noises, but I'm pretty sure it's a bad sign. At least it scares me. You want to say something to make you seem less desirable so she doesn't try to contact you in the future.

And, just maybe, entering into a library and memorizing titles and authors isn't quite enough. Maybe it would be better to read a few of the books, too.

[BobG]

Or maybe that's not such a great exit line. You're talking about a woman slugging down cheap wine, after all. When you tell her you might have to meet your parole officer, she just might respond:

Her: Oh, what a coincidence, I'm on parole, too. I caught my boyfriend in the sack with my best friend and the authorities didn't see the irony in my reaction.
You: Uh, I wish I didn't want to know, but I can't quite help myself. What did you do?
Her: I left him a going away gift in his car.
You: Oh, and what was that?
Her: Actually five of them. I gave him 5 pick axes.
You: Uh.
Her: Want to see a picture? I kept one as a souveneir.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_0zI-cRsGPc0/R9s_rSvPjYI/AAAAAAAABfA/zlybbWbC0kU/s400/audi%2Bpick%2Baxe.bmp

Her: So why are you on parole?
You: Nice car. (Don't answer the question about parole. Any answer you give will sound pathetic and wrong compared to pick axing a car.)
You: I need to buy a newspaper. (Leave quickly and just pray she never contacts you again. Just be glad you never told her your name.)

[Focus]

This place scares me. You are all nuts sometimes... Well you know what they say, if you can't beat them, join them.

[Astronuc]

I think BobG has a future in Hollywood! :rofl: :cool: :biggrin:

[Math Is Hard]

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/regrets.png

[BobG]

New and better lesson. Never mention the book she's reading. Don't even look to see what it is. It only leads down bad paths. Try this, instead:

She's sitting alone at a grungy table in the cafeteria slugging down Boones Farm right out of the bottle while reading a book and the seat opposite her is empty. You confidently walk up and say:

You: Excuse me. Is this chair taken?
(CRASH! as she falls drunkenly out of her chair.)
Her: Excuse me?
You: Is this seat taken?
Her: No it's not.
You: Would you mind if I sit here?.
Her: No, go ahead.
You: Thanks. Hi, my name's Baaa..., uh, Bill! (Whoa, that was close!)
Her: Hi, I'm Betty.
Bill: Hi.
Betty: Hi.
Bill: Uh, :uhh:, were you waiting for someone?
Betty: Sorta.
Bill: Boyfriend?
Betty: Sorta.
Bill: Just what is a sorta boyfriend?
Betty: My husband. He gets off of work soon and I'm supposed to meet him here. He works as a prison guard, so he's sometimes late. Prison riots and that sort of thing, you know.
Bill: Wow, I probably know him.
(Doh! Scratch that last part.)

Bill: Does he wear a gun off duty?
(Crud! That doesn't really work, either. I don't think I like the idea of sitting with a woman while we wait for her husband to show up.)

Bill: Well, I probably ought to be going. I'll see you around. Maybe even here again.
Betty: Sure thing.

[misgfool]

Damn, that turned out almost exactly the same. Try this:

She's sitting alone at a table in the cafeteria sipping a glass of wine while reading a book and the seat opposite her is empty. You confidently walk up and say:

You: Excuse me. Is this chair taken?
Her: Excuse me?
You: Is this seat taken?
Her: No it's not.
You: Would you mind if I sit here?.
Her: Yes, you creep me out.
You: I'm leaving. Please don't scream.

Better. At least you don't waste two hours waiting to see if anyone sits in the other chair.

BogG, have you seen the personality test in jagged alliance 2? This kind of reminds me of that. Thanks.

[Bleach12233]

Five more pages to go :)

[misgfool]

Five more pages to go :)

What happens then?

[rootX]

Five more pages to go :)

But, are you the main character in the bobg's stories?
I wonder if you would stay alive for the 100th page :devil:

[BobG]

But, are you the main character in the bobg's stories?
I wonder if you would stay alive for the 100th page :devil:

Not if he keeps hitting on married women in the cafeteria. Needs another revision to keep the main character alive:

She's sitting alone at a grungy table in the cafeteria slugging down Boones Farm right out of the bottle while reading a book. The seat opposite her is empty. You confidently walk up and say:

You: Excuse me. Is this chair taken?
Her: Excuse me?
You: Is this seat taken?
Her: No it's not.
You: Would you mind if I sit here?.
Her: No, go ahead.
You: Thanks. Hi, my name's Bill!
Her: Hi, I'm Betty.
Bill: Hi.
Betty: Hi.
Bill: Hi. Uh, :uhh:, were you waiting for someone?
Betty: Sorta.
Bill: Boyfriend?
Betty: Sorta.
Bill: Just what is a sorta boyfriend?
Betty: A boyfriend that's supposed to meet me here so I can break up with him!
Bill: Wow, what kind of car does he drive?
Betty: A 'vette! :grumpy: He's more in love with that car than he is with me!
Bill: Bummer. I drive a Yugo.

[BobG]

You: Would you mind if I sit here?.
Her: No, go ahead.
You: Thanks. Hi, my name's Bill!
Her: Hi, I'm Betty.
Bill: Hi.
Betty: Hi.
Bill: Hi. Uh, :uhh:, were you waiting for someone?
Betty: Actually I was.
Bill: Boyfriend?
Betty: Sorta.
Bill: Just what is a sorta boyfriend?
Betty: My lover. Here she comes now!

[BobG]

Okay, one more try.

She's sitting alone at a grungy table in the cafeteria slugging down Boones Farm right out of the bottle while reading a book. The seat opposite her is empty. You confidently walk up and say:

You: Excuse me. Is this chair taken?
Her: Excuse me?
You: Is this seat taken?
Her: No it's not.
You: Would you mind if I sit here?.
Her: No, go ahead.
You: Thanks. Hi, my name's Bill!
Her: Hi, I'm Betty.
Bill: Hi.
Betty: Hi.
Bill: Uh, :uhh:, were you waiting for someone?
Betty: Yes, I was waiting for my boyfriend. :!!) Maybe you've heard of him. He's famous, you know. :!!) Have you ever seen any of David Ives's plays?
Bill: He's going to kick my *** something serious, isn't he.
Betty: Sure thing.

[Bleach12233]

Lol well I did get to know her a bit better today I talked to her for a while I sit next to her in class.

[Bleach12233]

When it is page 100 I shall stay and still talk.

[Bleach12233]

I was waiting for more posts but no one is posting. :grumpy:

[Bleach12233]

Eh......

[JasonRox]

My update.

The girl I love and I broke up like 2-3 months ago. Now, I'm dating another girl. Yay!

I have the same problem with this girl. Or most girl I date. They get insecure because they see me as player type or something.

[Pythagorean]

New and better lesson. Never mention the book she's reading. Don't even look to see what it is. It only leads down bad paths. Try this, instead:

She's sitting alone at a grungy table in the cafeteria slugging down Boones Farm right out of the bottle while reading a book and the seat opposite her is empty. You confidently walk up and say:

You: Excuse me. Is this chair taken?
(CRASH! as she falls drunkenly out of her chair.)
Her: Excuse me?
You: Is this seat taken?
Her: No it's not.
You: Would you mind if I sit here?.
Her: No, go ahead.
You: Thanks. Hi, my name's Baaa..., uh, Bill! (Whoa, that was close!)
Her: Hi, I'm Betty.
Bill: Hi.
Betty: Hi.
Bill: Uh, :uhh:, were you waiting for someone?
Betty: Sorta.
Bill: Boyfriend?
Betty: Sorta.
Bill: Just what is a sorta boyfriend?
Betty: My husband. He gets off of work soon and I'm supposed to meet him here. He works as a prison guard, so he's sometimes late. Prison riots and that sort of thing, you know.
Bill: Wow, I probably know him.
Betty: You work in crime?
Bill: I guess you could say that...
Betty: What do you do?
Bill: Move product
Betty: :eek: :!!) I'm going to go into the bathroom; wait five minutes and follow me

STEP 4: PROFIT!!!


fixed for accuracy

[Focus]

My update.

The girl I love and I broke up like 2-3 months ago. Now, I'm dating another girl. Yay!

I have the same problem with this girl. Or most girl I date. They get insecure because they see me as player type or something.

Wow, I thought girls were into player types. Shows how much I know...

[JasonRox]

Wow, I thought girls were into player types. Shows how much I know...

Oh, they will do whatever I want though. No issues.

Just kind of annoying because I talk to lots of girls so that doesn't help. She already expressed concern that I might start liking another girl.

[Pythagorean]

Oh, they will do whatever I want though. No issues.

:eek: maybe you should move on to full grown women...

[Focus]

Oh, they will do whatever I want though. No issues.

Just kind of annoying because I talk to lots of girls so that doesn't help. She already expressed concern that I might start liking another girl.

Seeing as you are a socialist, I think you should share. What is yours is mine right comrade? :biggrin:

[JasonRox]

:eek: maybe you should move on to full grown women...

They all are. It was the same thing last year with a 28 year old last year.

It's kind of good though. There are up and downs to it. If you want to sleep with her right away, you're pretty much guaranteed it will happen the first night. They don't want to disappoint you.

[JasonRox]

Seeing as you are a socialist, I think you should share. What is yours is mine right comrade? :biggrin:

The problem is that the girls just want one. I help my friends out for sure. But I find that it never works as well as helping yourself... duh.

[BobG]

They always say, "This too shall pass" and I think that applies to girl trouble, too.

Except she never did. She kept on hanging on and hanging on and just wouldn't die.

I finally had to find her another husband.

[baywax]

"Girl" spells trouble.

"Woman" spells delight.

"Wican" spells (are) spooky.

[baywax]

She kept on hanging on and hanging on and just wouldn't die.

No, dying would only get so much attention... for a short time.

Staying half alive can reap a lot of sympathy and guilt-ridden servitude. Basically, being sickly is a ticket to ride the man of the house into the ground... then find a new husband.o:)

[Math Is Hard]

"Girl" spells trouble.

"Woman" spells delight.

"Wican" spells (are) spooky.

:rofl:

[Bleach12233]

I found a new girl that I like she has asked me out but I haven't said yes yet.

[mcknia07]

Why haven't you said yes then?

[Bleach12233]

Wow people on this forum are fast. The reason I haven't said yes yet is because where going to a party sometime in June and that is when I will say yes.

[Bleach12233]

I believe the occasion is better suited.

[mcknia07]

Ahh, don't wait too long, though. How old are you?

[TheStatutoryApe]

Ahh, don't wait too long, though. How old are you?

Listen to her. Waiting is bad. The girl I was head over heels for in high school asked me out and when I put her on hold for one day I missed out.

[Cyrus]

Listen to her. Waiting is bad. The girl I was head over heels for in high school asked me out and when I put her on hold for one day I missed out.

I disagree. Wait at least five to six months before saying hi again.

[TheStatutoryApe]

I disagree. Wait at least five to six months before saying hi again.

She could be pregnant and showing by then.

[Cyrus]

It aint gonna be his so what does it matter.

[TheStatutoryApe]

It aint gonna be his so what does it matter.

She'll be showing. Next day she could be pregnant too but at least you know she wont be showing.

[Moonbear]

Wow people on this forum are fast. The reason I haven't said yes yet is because where going to a party sometime in June and that is when I will say yes.

Don't be surprised if she finds another date to the party by then. If you're interested, say yes, otherwise, the implied answer is that you're not interested. Why on earth would you think that a party sometime in June would be a better time to give her an answer than at the time she actually asks you out? How would you interpret it if you asked a girl/woman out and she gave you no answer?

[Astronuc]

Ahh, don't wait too long, though. I agree with the women here. Bleach, Listen to them - 'Don't wait'!

Just go out as friends and have a good time. She's not asking to marry you!

How old are you? Apparently not old enough. :uhh:

[mcknia07]

I agree with the women here. Listen to them - 'Don't wait'.

Just go out as friends and have a good time. She's not asking to marry you!

Apparently not old enough. :uhh:

I think he might be a real young one. It's not a hard concept to just man up and talk to her and keep it friendly for now.

[Astronuc]

I think he might be a real young one. It's not a hard concept to just man up and talk to her and keep it friendly for now. #1481 => He's 14.

Most guys at that age find it difficult to approach girls.

[cristo]

I disagree. Wait at least five to six months before saying hi again.

:rofl: I love Cyrus' answers to these threads!

[Sorry!]

Lol, Bleach my man. Playing hard to get is good sometimes. You'll have to keep her interested in YOU though thats the hard part... and with a party coming up she will probably go with another date...
If you feel however that she is REALLY into you and her going with another date is no problem then meh... I guess you could try sweeping her off her feet at this party. My guess though is that her going with another guy will make you mad or intidmidate you into not acting. As well I doubt you feel that she would still be interested in you.

This is a good way to guage how much a girl likes you... but do it cautiously cause girls dont like being played around with. lol.

[Bleach12233]

Hello today my friend spilled water on her Ipodtouch and know there really mad at him and also punched him in the stomach, what should he do? my friend likes her ALOT.

[Astronuc]

Hello today my friend spilled water on someones ipod touch and know there really mad at him and also punched him in the stomach, what should he do? my friend likes her ALOT. I can't help but wonder - "What would Cyrus do?" :biggrin:

[turbo]

I can't help but wonder - "What would Cyrus do?" :biggrin:Whatever you wonder, it would be "wrong" and Cy would badger you for at least another 10 pages of posts. :devil:

[Astronuc]

Hello today my friend spilled water on someones ipod touch and know there really mad at him and also punched him in the stomach, what should he do? my friend likes her ALOT. I'm going to take a wild guess and assume that the 'someone' is 'her', whom the friend likes ALOT.

If the friend damaged the the iPod touch, then the friend should replace it regardless.

In the future, don't spill the water.

[Bleach12233]

Its not damaged but she was angry at him for getting water on it.

[Moonbear]

Did he spill the water on accident, or was he doing it intentionally? If it was entirely an accident, he should stay away from people who will punch him for an accident. If it was intentional, then he should be apologizing profusely. Now, given the topic of the thread, is this "friend" actually you?

[Shackleford]

Did he spill the water on accident, or was he doing it intentionally? If it was entirely an accident, he should stay away from people who will punch him for an accident. If it was intentional, then he should be apologizing profusely. Now, given the topic of the thread, is this "friend" actually you?

Do you even have to ask? lol.

[Bleach12233]

No sadly its not me it is actually my friend and I believe he did it intentionally. He was not going for her Ipod touch though with the water and he has already apologized many times I guess.

[Bleach12233]

In the future, don't spill the water.[/QUOTE]

Sadly this is not me

[Saladsamurai]

Hello today my friend spilled water on her Ipodtouch and know there really mad at him and also punched him in the stomach, what should he do? my friend likes her ALOT.

The answer to this is simple: He should punch her back. If she takes off, it wasn't meant to be.

[Sorry!]

The answer to this is simple: He should punch her back. If she takes off, it wasn't meant to be.

second that. this is a great method... well what r u waiting for get ur notebook out.

[Cyrus]

That didn't work out so well for Vince of Shamwow

http://tonybruno.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/shamwow.jpg

[Sorry!]

i love that guy. do those things actually work how they do in the commercials?

[Cyrus]

i love that guy. do those things actually work how they do in the commercials?

Yes, she ends up soaking your money just like the Shamwow. You're going to love my nuts.

[Sorry!]

Yes, she ends up soaking your money just like the Shamwow. You're going to love my nuts.
already do sir.

[Bleach12233]

:rofl:

[binzing]

That didn't work out so well for Vince of Shamwow

http://tonybruno.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/shamwow.jpg

That dude looks a little bit like a seedy version of my cousin Aaron, a 22 year old self made, non grad, used car dealer.

[Poobel]

I have recently been fighting a lot with my girlfriend of almost 2 years. There is also very little sex lately. I dont initiate anything, because I'm very tired after work, and morning sex is a no-no for her. Any ideas on what should I do so this doesn't spiral out of control? I don't want to break up, but I hate fighting, and feeling like crap :(

[Saladsamurai]

I have recently been fighting a lot with my girlfriend of almost 2 years. There is also very little sex lately. I dont initiate anything, because I'm very tired after work, and morning sex is a no-no for her. Any ideas on what should I do so this doesn't spiral out of control? I don't want to break up, but I hate fighting, and feeling like crap :(

Clearly it already has spiraled out of control. You are asking for advice on intimacy on Physics Forums.

Now I suggest you do what I told the other kid to do. Punch her in the face and see what happens.

[Saladsamurai]

That didn't work out so well for Vince of Shamwow

http://tonybruno.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/shamwow.jpg

Yeah, not yet that is. Somehow scumbags like this end up rich off of a TV series or reality show. Like that bounty hunter moron. Sometimes it pays to be so stupid that it is scary.

[baywax]

Clearly it already has spiraled out of control. You are asking for advice on intimacy on Physics Forums.

Ask about her molecular density and if she is actually experiencing super position with an evil twin. Or, give up on being miserable and split before its too late!

[IwillBeGood]

I don't know for sure but I guess you are correct!

Yes it seems so! :smile:

[Cyrus]

Yeah, not yet that is. Somehow scumbags like this end up rich off of a TV series or reality show. Like that bounty hunter moron. Sometimes it pays to be so stupid that it is scary.

What do you have against dog the bounty hunter? He's not that stupid.

[Saladsamurai]

What do you have against dog the bounty hunter? He's not that stupid.

I'll assume that this is just authentic Cyrus sarcasm.

[Cyrus]

I'll assume that this is just authentic Cyrus sarcasm.

No, not this time. What's wrong with dog the bounty hunter? How is he "stupid".

[TheStatutoryApe]

No, not this time. What's wrong with dog the bounty hunter? How is he "stupid".

I remember there was something about him allegedly making racist comments a while back.

[Cyrus]

I remember there was something about him allegedly making racist comments a while back.

His son was trying to marry a black woman (I believe) and he didn't approve of it. Watching the show, I honestly do not believe he is a racist. I even saw his black pastor on Larry King Live saying that Dog isnt a racist, he just says whatever he wants to say - which I can understand as he's a guy who was in jail at one point and works/lives on the streets. I think what he said was more a flaw of his temper and saying things out of anger than being a racist.

[TheStatutoryApe]

His son was trying to marry a black woman (I believe) and he didn't approve of it. Watching the show, I honestly do not believe he is a racist. I even saw his black pastor on Larry King Live saying that Dog isnt a racist, he just says whatever he wants to say - which I can understand as he's a guy who was in jail at one point and works/lives on the streets. I think what he said was more a flaw of his temper and saying things out of anger than being a racist.

Ah... I was unaware of how that all panned out. I vaguely remember something about him making an apology. I've never watched his show anyhow.

[bbarrett]

RUN!!!! As far and as fast as you can!!! If she punched you because of anything, regardless that it was spilled water, what do you think is going to happen when you come home late or go hang out with the guys!!! I'll tell you it will escalate! There are plenty of girls out there, find one that dont resort to Battery!