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Artman
Artman is offline
#8
Apr9-03, 04:58 PM
P: 1,591
I think the best advice to any aspiring writer is to keep writing, and of course to read a lot.
Absolutely. I wish I had time to read more.

I used to write very simple, stark poetry until I read some Dillon Thomas. I didn't really like it at first, but then I noticed the influence he had on my own writing.

It really isn't fair that I should comment on Baikonur's poem without contributing one of my own. Here is one that I wrote a few years ago. It's free verse, no real structure. I have never shown it to anyone before.

"Desire" (Deep Blue Dream)

She saw him as a challenge.
He saw her as a dream.
They saw each other through wide, staring, purely open eyes and yet their vision was clouded and obscured with longings, lying naked between them, but remaining unseen, unexplored.

She longed to find romance in a mundane world and dreamed of love and fire, and subtlety. There was always subtlety, for without it, where would be the romance? Romance hid in the gentle laugh at a hint of humor; the brushing of a hand against hair; a wisp of a touch in a crowd, unseen by the crowd; being so close that, even though not touching at all, you can feel the heat of their body; a deep look into love's wide, ever-watching, never fully seeing eyes.

Passion hid in dreams, long, hot, sultry, unrestrained dreams, panic filled, promise laden, unfulfilled, unrelenting dreams. Dreams of subtle caresses, whispered sighs, chance encounters ending in fervent, rhythmic movements. Dreams of moments shared, once, but only in dreams, and not fully in sleep.

These dreams fought sleep. They challenged sleep with visions, attacked it with imagination, and defeated it with painful urges and sleep stealing desires, pounding, twisting and tormenting the dreamer throughout the bleary, mist filled, deep blue hours of the night.


What do you think? Please feel free to be as critical as you want. Like I said, I have never shown this piece to anyone before. I may not agree with the comments, but I will consider any reasonable point.