To answer your question, I believe suicide is justified in certain situations.
I.E - Wheel/Bed bound with a non-functioning brain who does not want to continue life, suffering in this way. I'm talking about people who have thought long and hard about it, and accept there fate, not someone who wants to die for the sake of it, or over an argument etc, but someone who has spoken to there family about it, and all are in agreement, albeit it wound't be easy, but assisted suicide in this way is acceptable in my opinion.
In your case, you have to think about the pain, the suffering & the misery you will cause by doing this quite selfish act. Life isn't always easy, I should know, I have gone through my own bad patches, and at the time would have loved it to all end, but that's a horrible thought, and very selfish.
As the old saying goes, "Seek, and you shall find"..... Try this OP, try to find that something you are missing, don't cause the massive pain or hurt by taking your own precious life. You may involuntary make someone else take there own, because of the pain caused.
You are special OP, your one in 10 billion, remember that.
Love & Peace my friend....