This part of PF is definitely outside my comfort zone (why did I post here anyway)... but we don`t know each other so what the heck.
It`s not looks, it`s apparently my personality...
I`ve found that the more people know me (like the "real" me) the more they think I am weird, and they don`t always hold that word in the "compliments" area (neither do I tbh). A few have been vocal about it (I`ve even been called a freak once) but it`s just something you start to notice in their looks, gestures, etc.
The only way I can actually socialize is if I play an "act", otherwise people will tend to keep a certain distance from me. I don`t really know if it`s actually me who`s misreading everything but ever since I was a kid it was so much easier socialize if I was pretending to be someone else then if I was just "being myself" (in which case I would end up the acting the outcast whether I wanted it or not...); I`ve survived
middle school and some of highschool playing the class jester and similar "roles" for example.
Whenever someone catches me off-guard without my mask on, they will tend to throw me in the buddy friend who`s a little...different zone, the guy who`s a little more interesting
... that is when they`re not running away from me like I`m the plague.
I`m now more and more inclined to simply not socialize (lately I find it troublesome to even attend lectures and seminaries even if there`s hardly any direct socializing involved in this case) and there have been times when I haven`t left my dorm for more than a week.
But whatever, being alone isn`t that bad. I`m growing used to it.