Long story short: I messed up. She gets me (and trust me, very few do) and she always stuck around. It's an idea that's crossed my mind a few times but I always figured I'd be better off* on my own and shrugged the idea off. She's leaving in less than a week for Europe (undergrad study). Won't be back until next year. So trying anything at all right now is *not* worth it.
Not that having done something about this would've (more like, could've!) changed things much but at least we'd have had fun (!) for a while. Serves me right.
*Not very certain of that. In general, I don't trust anyone. Over the years I got used being on my own. But nothing's constant. And all that is a little disturbing. The minute there's any kind attachment/affection thrown into the equation, things get all messy. And nobody likes messy.
What is the purpose of this thread? Ah who knows, I reckon I just wanted to let it out. Any stories, people? :)