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flyfishing
#1
Oct2-11, 03:52 PM
P: 5
Hey, so I don't know if anyone here has gone through something similar but any advice is welcome.

This girl and I dated for her senior year, my junior year of undergrad. After a year, we recently broke up - no fights or typical reasons a couple breaks up. Instead, it was after we looked ahead to our individual plans for our futures and things just didn't seem to line up enough.

As a physics major, I'd like to get my PhD (hence a 5-6 year commitment to one location and not much free time (right?)) and she is an entrepreneur who loves to travel and do spontaneous adventures. I absolutely adore her and would do anything for her. The reason we broke up is because she thinks that I'll enjoy having a more physics-minded girl by my side, rather than her (not true - in fact I do not want a physics girl..and I've told her this) and I think she'll be unhappy because I won't be able to travel with her much at all - since after a PhD I'll have to get some type of a job (albeit not immediately, but within a year).

So the dilemma is that neither of us think that we are making the other as happy as they could be - particularly because we both have different outlooks on life - mine being that I need a job to support a family, and she not liking a typical job because she enjoys the freedom to be able to pack up and fly to see the northern lights on a whim.

Should I let her go and move on with my life or try to get her back? It's tearing both of us up (me more than her though - she was my first girlfriend, she's been through this before). We haven't talked too much even though it's hard. Right now I'm at school in Florida and she's in Hawaii (doing her travel thing). Before the breakup we had plans to move in together wherever I went to grad school (it would be her "home base" during travelling) but apparently those plans went out the window at some point when we were trying to make each other happy.

Fight for what I think I want, or move on because there's a better fit out there?
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