Help, I've fallen for an astrophysicst!

arildno

Yeah, the old "Flirtation Alerts" never worked, did they?

Or, did the alerts work too well??

Moonbear

Okay, this bit of advice will serve you well for a long time:
Don't be subtle with men. Tell them directly what you want or need or are asking or they won't get it.

If you fail to be direct, and inadvertently try to communicate something through subtle hints, don't get mad at them for missing what you thought were blatantly obvious hints. It's not their fault. They really do try, but they're just missing that gene.

Definition of subtle: Anything short of bludgeoning them over the head with a sledgehammer to make your intentions known.

turbo

Good one, Moonie. It has taken over 30 years, but my wife now understands that subtle hints don't work on me. I'm nearsighted, too, so unless I'm wearing my glasses and she is in a well-lit area, I don't "get" body-language, either.

DanP

We are missing loads of genes. For example, the genes who gives you the patience to storm stores for 3 hours searching for a dress, then cross back in the opposite side of the city to the first store, and buy the very first dress you tried in the that day.

But we are cute and considerate and pay for the dress, so we really do deserve a break for our efforts :P

jtbell

We do have a few extra ones, for example the TV-sports gene. Or the one for what Dave Barry called Male Genetic Dirt Blindness syndrome.

DanP

I agree. And I also blame male inability to solve the Toilet Seat Cover problem to genes.

Moonbear

Even I'm missing that gene. I think my sister got a double dose though! That is one thing my boyfriend and I get along VERY well about...neither of us "shops." We BUY. In other words, we don't go to a store unless we know exactly what we are going for, head straight to that department, buy it, and get out. None of that running all over town looking for a bargain while spending twice as much in gas for the few dollars difference in cost between the first and last store.

Surprisingly, I'm the one with more tolerance for dirt and clutter than my boyfriend. Then again, we differ on cleaning approaches. I sort of go for the whirlwind of cleaning once a month approach, while he goes for the hire a housekeeper approach. I'm a bit torn on the housekeeper idea. While I LOVE the idea of someone else doing the cleaning for me, I'm not so in love with the idea of going on a scavenger hunt for my own belongings after the housekeeper has put things away. He does know how to clean, and does leave the seat down. Though, then I'd drive him mad by also always putting the lid down. Having a cat who likes to drink from the toilet rather than her water dish has changed my perspective a bit. Currently, I just leave the lid up, but when she was in that stage when she'd dunk her toys in the toilet water and splash the seat while retrieving them, for a while I was the one who left the seat up just so it wouldn't be sopping wet with toilet water when I needed it. I think that may be the only reason he likes my cat.

I'm laughing at the whole "paying for the dress" part. It's been a while since my boyfriend has bought me anything. The last time he bought me something was over a year ago when he sent me flowers because I got a new job (same university, new department). I honestly don't mind, because our relationship isn't built on buying stuff for one another. But, just this week, we were talking about vacations and lifestyles, and spending habits, and amidst all of it, I commented that it would be nice to be spoiled with first class tickets to go some place warm and tropical for vacation (he ALWAYS travels first class...mostly because he always has enough frequent flyer miles with his business travel for it). He said I didn't like being spoiled so he didn't do it. I about died laughing. Whenever he does something nice, I thank him and tell him he doesn't HAVE to do that for me. And, it's true, it's not something I expect or demand. But, I had to explain to him that I certainly don't MIND if he does nice things for me, and I certainly do LIKE it when he spoils me, I just would never be so superficial as to expect it or demand it or require it. I mean, really, who doesn't enjoy being spoiled rotten by their significant other?

DaveC426913

We used to have these genes. Those genes were where communication, manners and sensitivity were encoded.

But after Grok and Thag had one too many drunken falls from the Stegosaur, that chromosome got a corner busted off. Now it looks like a Y.

DanP

My mother use to take the housekeeper approach. She jokingly instructed me that if I hire hands for housekeeping work Ill better make sure they have a degree, or else Ill end up with dirt hidden under the bed and so on, you got the idea. I guess her cleaning lady never loved her too much, she was better than an army drillmaster in finding even trace amounts of dirt left uncleaned. I mostly take your approach to cleaning, but I do hire a cook. I never have too much mood to waste time with cooking, and I find the restaurant food pretty much unsavory. My girlfriend wouldn't touch the stove with a three meters pole.

This explain why that furry cutie in your avatar wields a gun shooting through the window at ppl in the streets. Must be something in the water

I used to be the same. Several years ago we had an event important to the both of us, we where a bit tight on the money and with a lot of expenses, so we decided we wont buy gifts for each other. Guess what, I didnt buy anything and she made me a pretty considerate gift. You can imagine how I felt :P I started somehow slowly understanding that "you don't have too" doesn't mean she doesn't really enjoy gifts :P

DanP

And doesn't the Y feel damn good ?

Hurkyl

The comic freefall has a half-dozen or so strips on the issue. It's an amusing read.

Start here.

Moonbear

Those are great! I really like the one that says, "Great! You just gave an engineer a problem that can't be solved with duct tape. Now we're going to be stuck here all day."

turbo

Every time I see the title of this thread, I want to add "and I can't get up!"

Borek

There are probolems that can't be solved with duct tape?

Ah, you mean those that require WD40?

kramer733

Ok here for the love of god. DO NOT ASK HIM OUT. THIS IS THE DUMBEST THING TO DO. I don't care who you are but you are seriously taking away his manliness. Give him alot of IOI (indicators of interests)

Here's a list of IOI you can do with him

http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/...s-vt36387.html

If he still isn't biting, give up because a real man would see these IOI and ask you out already unless he's just generally not interested in you.

ASK HIM OUT TO GO CLUBBING WITH YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS. Then atleast become intimate there. Get drinks

Honestly if you really have fallen in love with this astrophysicist, have sex with 12 guys and if you still want the astrophysicist, then proceed and get him.

Dembadon

I don't understand how asking him out would take away his "manliness".

Are real men not shy?

How do you get intimate in a club?

Is this a serious suggestion?

kramer733

Yes. I'm quite serious. Read the book "the game" by neil strauss.

USE THE INDICATORS OF INTERESTS.