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What falling in love feels like to you

by Loren Booda
Tags: falling, feels, love
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nucleargirl
#127
Aug20-10, 04:15 PM
P: 126
Quote Quote by cronxeh View Post
Ok im not going to embarass you over the blatant subconscious leakage of words like us, we, see curves and lets. So ill just say wow, that was too easy
yup yup :) you win! yeah! who knew! I had a major crush on you! damn... must be that bad-boy charm of yours!
cronxeh
#128
Aug20-10, 04:17 PM
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Quote Quote by nucleargirl View Post
yup yup :) you win!
Naturally.
FrancisZ
#129
Aug20-10, 04:23 PM
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Quote Quote by cronxeh View Post
Francis with his one lover. Nuclear is infatuated with some guy who is probably cheating on her right now. Fun times.

As far as I am concerned, she was my soul mate; I did not need or desire anyone else.
FrancisZ
#130
Aug20-10, 04:29 PM
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You know what? It's time for "The Continental"...




Really, it's a good practice never to act this sort of guy, I think.
Edin_Dzeko
#131
Aug20-10, 04:30 PM
P: 223
Quote Quote by anubis01 View Post
Thats a rather unhealthy way of viewing relationships. Friendships are about enjoying the company of someone you like, not an investment.



No offence but after that long of a time your apology would be rather hallow as any positive feelings she had for you would have diminished by then. When people have wronged me in the past I've been much more receptive if they apologized in a recent time frame, after 1-2 months It would just be to late and their apology lost any meaning it would have had.

You have probably already shot your chance with this woman, but you shouldn't be apologizing because you want to "get back with her". You made a mistake, and treated her badly, you should own up to that and whatever happens afterwards, you'll at least know you did the right thing.

It'd also be a better idea to just write her an email instead, as it would at least give her time to "evaluate" instead of being put on the spot with a phone call. Hope everything goes well with your lady friend.
that would be really weird though. A random email out of nowhere apologizing for something that happened like last month would be best if I let it go and just every now and then say hi / hey and just drop some messages. When we finally get a chance to have a proper chat I'll just bring it up like "man, the things I've been through recently..." "remember when I got real nasty with you the other time on the phone?" and just explain from there.
Evo
#132
Aug20-10, 05:11 PM
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Quote Quote by FrancisZ View Post
As far as I am concerned, she was my soul mate; I did not need or desire anyone else.
You show a great amount of maturity and emotional stability Francis.
cronxeh
#133
Aug20-10, 05:26 PM
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Quote Quote by Evo View Post
You show a great amount of maturity and emotional stability Francis.
Woah now. I can agree with not need or desire anyone else, but to conclude that a woman 25 years older than him was his soulmate.. that seems a little rash. Maturity implies and relies on the wisdom of experience. One is not experience. Ive had a similar feeling for one, but history proved me wrong
Evo
#134
Aug20-10, 05:31 PM
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Quote Quote by Edin_Dzeko View Post
Dude, I feel the same exact way!! It's why all of a sudden I'm active on this site especially in the Relationships section. I feel really hurt and rejected. I wish I could forget aswell and move on with my life but it's really hard (emotionally) at the moment. Story simply:

we've been friends for almost 4 years now. Just recently, I was going through some tough stuff and I got real nasty with her over the phone and she got offended (I can tell) and we didn't speak for nearly nearly a month or two. then just last week Sunday we chat on Yahoo I asked why she hasn't been calling she said she doesn't want to (ouch!) :( I kinda had that coming since I was nasty to her. I took that really harshly and felt rejected I deleted her pics, e-mails and number 'cause I thought this is it. And then I left the chat without saying good bye. We haven't spoken since. But I think what hurts the most is having it end this way. Not finding out how she felt, where things could have gone and the thought of her and another guy's what kills me the most All the time spent on the phone, reading and writing e-mails, sending pics and it all ends like this, it really kills. I also feel like it's my fault and the guilt is just too unbearable.
From what you've written, it what you did originally didn't kill your relationship, this probably put the nail in the coffin. While it's never too late to apologize, it can be too late to repair things.
Edin_Dzeko
#135
Aug21-10, 12:09 AM
P: 223
Quote Quote by cronxeh View Post
Woah now. I can agree with not need or desire anyone else, but to conclude that a woman 25 years older than him was his soulmate.. that seems a little rash. Maturity implies and relies on the wisdom of experience. One is not experience. Ive had a similar feeling for one, but history proved me wrong
So like how do you see women??? Do you have any respect for women at all?? do you value relationships?? It seems you're so set on this "be a jerk" attitude
Edin_Dzeko
#136
Aug21-10, 12:10 AM
P: 223
Quote Quote by Evo View Post
From what you've written, it what you did originally didn't kill your relationship, this probably put the nail in the coffin. While it's never too late to apologize, it can be too late to repair things.
miracle?? but when it comes to the subject of "love" you can never tell. But anyway I'll keep you guys up to date on the situation
Chronos
#137
Aug21-10, 02:59 AM
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The only woman who ever annoyed me forgot to lock the door when she left. I ran into her again a year later. She was annoyed I did not hate her.
cronxeh
#138
Aug21-10, 06:14 PM
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I should think i am fortunate enough to not have ended up with this girl. Can you imagine being with an egotistical psycho who has a mini nervous breakdown everyday and thinks of herself as morally superior to most other people? I am lucky it ended
FrancisZ
#139
Aug21-10, 09:26 PM
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Quote Quote by cronxeh View Post
I should think i am fortunate enough to not have ended up with this girl. Can you imagine being with an egotistical psycho who has a mini nervous breakdown everyday and thinks of herself as morally superior to most other people? I am lucky it ended

She must have had some quality that made her a good person in your eyes, to begin with. Perhaps you were meant to teach each other something.
Edin_Dzeko
#140
Aug21-10, 09:42 PM
P: 223
Quote Quote by FrancisZ View Post
She must have had some quality that made her a good person in your eyes, to begin with. Perhaps you were meant to teach each other something.
there's no reaching through to cron. Guy has let "the game" get to his head
he liked her, she turned him down and it's only natural that he now holds that view of her. Like a guy going out with a girl and it doesn't work and he hates her or starts to hold a bad view of her. ex, "she's a b***"
Galteeth
#141
Aug21-10, 09:53 PM
P: 320
In response to someone who said that love was a delusion: This is ontologically meaningless. In order for love to be a delusion, it would have to contain some kind of statement about observable reality that could be falsified. While love can lead to delusions, it makes no sense to say that it is in and of itself a delusion. It is a subjective emotional experience, and as such is as real as the person experiencing it believes it to be. The fact that it is the result of physical states of the brain should not come as a surprise, nor does it have anything to do with its reality. All experiences are emergent properties of the brain in some sense. The only things that can be delusions are statements that can reference something outside of one's own experience.

This reminds me of something I was trying to explain to a friend of mine who has some pretty bizarre beliefs. He long held a belief that he was the "smartest man man in the world" because he had realized that his goal, and everyone else's, was to be happy. He would hold that he was much smarter then people who has more knowledge, more technical skill, or a larger world view, because they wasted time with things (such as acquiring knowledge) that while they were doing them did not result in them being happy. He would challenge me saying something to the effect of "I don't think you agree with my idea that I am the smartest man in the world, and how could you not?"
I would respond by saying that I simply couldn't agree or disagree, because he hadn't defined "smartness" in a meaningful way. Under his definition, smartness related to the ability of one to experience happiness as much as possible. Since "happiness" as he was defining it was not quantifiable, it was not meaningful to contend that his assertion.
I would say that to the extent I disagreed, i was using a different definition of "smartness" and "happiness' then he was. He would argue that these were false definitions, and his was clearly the true definition (In other words, accepting any other definition of "happiness" lead to one not being happy as much as possible, and thus was an indicator of lack of "smartness.") I explained, with some difficulty, the concept of a tautology to him, and then came the true genius stroke of his philosophy. He reasoned that since his tautological reasoning lead to a "true" statement that he was the happiest human being, and thus the smartest, and my inability to accept tautological reasoning resulted in me not being the happiest human being, he was happier and therefore smarter.


The point of that story is that it is useless to apply the categories of truth to ill-defined subjective emotional states.
Galteeth
#142
Aug21-10, 10:02 PM
P: 320
Quote Quote by Edin_Dzeko View Post
there's no reaching through to cron. Guy has let "the game" get to his head
he liked her, she turned him down and it's only natural that he now holds that view of her. Like a guy going out with a girl and it doesn't work and he hates her or starts to hold a bad view of her. ex, "she's a b***"

Note: This is not meant to be a personal commentary on anyone specific, just a commentary based on observations from sources that sell a "game philosophy" to dating.



I think this "game" nonsense is such a predatory piece of modern culture. People who sell their "game" strategies prey on people who have difficulty with relationships. They make them think their desire for a real relationship is a weakness, and that to succeed they need to abandon such notions and become psychologically manipulative. While this *may* help them with getting laid, it will not result in a successful relationship, only one that is based on dishonesty and manipulation.
Oftentimes the advice is valid but for the wrong reasons. For example, if you meet someone, and genuinely do make an amazing connection with them, there's nothing wrong with calling them the next day. The reason calling someone the next day is usually not a good idea is because amazing connections are exceedingly rare, and casual encounters are just that, casual encounters. People come off as desperate and needy often because they are, in fact, desperate and needy. Instead of taking a hard look at themselves, they take the easy way out, pretending to be something they're not.
It's akin to "miracle tonics" that would "cure" diseases by being mostly opium.
Edin_Dzeko
#143
Aug21-10, 10:11 PM
P: 223
Quote Quote by Galteeth View Post
Note: This is not meant to be a personal commentary on anyone specific, just a commentary based on observations from sources that sell a "game philosophy" to dating.



I think this "game" nonsense is such a predatory piece of modern culture. People who sell their "game" strategies prey on people who have difficulty with relationships. They make them think their desire for a real relationship is a weakness, and that to succeed they need to abandon such notions and become psychologically manipulative. While this *may* help them with getting laid, it will not result in a successful relationship, only one that is based on dishonesty and manipulation.
Oftentimes the advice is valid but for the wrong reasons. For example, if you meet someone, and genuinely do make an amazing connection with them, there's nothing wrong with calling them the next day. The reason calling someone the next day is usually not a good idea is because amazing connections are exceedingly rare, and casual encounters are just that, casual encounters. People come off as desperate and needy often because they are, in fact, desperate and needy. Instead of taking a hard look at themselves, they take the easy way out, pretending to be something they're not.
It's akin to "miracle tonics" that would "cure" diseases by being mostly opium.
I recently got brain washed by that and now I'm trying to repair my life and get back to good ol Mr. Niceguy
cronxeh
#144
Aug21-10, 10:38 PM
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Galteeth, I don't know whether to laugh or be sad at everything you've typed up thus far. The ramblings on the delusions are just that, your opinions that do not actually refute or repudiate any claims. It is an attempt at philosophy, but without actual arguments and facts its just palaver. The 'game' works. What is a 'successful' relationship in your mind? The objective is to get laid, period. It is not about getting to know the woman on a personal level - that is what friendship is for.

I am weary of talking on the matter. It just bores me now. Good night and good luck.


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