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Have you ever seen an attractive woman, walked up to her and started a conversation?

by wasteofo2
Tags: attractive, conversation, started, walked, woman
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tracydimarco
#19
Dec6-10, 08:58 AM
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Quote Quote by wasteofo2 View Post

''Hey, I just noticed that your style is really unique, so I wanted to come up and say hi, my name is X"
That's ok, although it sounds a bit weird if the girl is dressed "normally." I mean, us girls are WELL aware you can't notice personality across the room, so it is flattering that you find a girl attractive. Sometimes that already makes me feel a little bit more open - obviously we have the upper hand & aren't fearing rejection (maybe we wanted to say hi to you but were afraid too!). To be honest, start a conversation - ask a question. People (men and women) love talking about themselves. Ask her where she got her scarf - you'd love to get a similar one for your sister for Christmas - ask her what she's reading - and her if you can buy her coffee.
Actually, my current boyfriend did just that. I was just waiting in line at Starbucks, & he asked if he could buy my coffee - no strings attached, I didn't have to sit with him, he just felt like I looked like I was having a crappy morning (I was) & deserved some niceness. Obviously, I wanted to sit & chat with him after that. Thoughtfulness is always a good thing :)
wasteofo2
#20
Dec7-10, 05:54 PM
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Quote Quote by FlexGunship View Post
"Wow, did you see that fight outside?"
I don't dig lots of mystery method stuff, it's so fake.

You don't need a made up fight to approach a girl, in the day or at a bar.

Though what I'd written was for daytime, not bars. God I don't even know what I say at bars, it's so much more about body language, eye contact and physicality. You can easily make out with a girl without knowing her name when you're dancing and alcohol is involved, I think all those lines and stuff just complicate things.
wasteofo2
#21
Dec7-10, 06:00 PM
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Quote Quote by tracydimarco View Post
That's ok, although it sounds a bit weird if the girl is dressed "normally."
Yeah, of course you'd have to come up with something else if a girl is dressed normally. Honestly I start conversations about whatever, I don't usually use ''lines''. But for someone who doesn't know what to say, it can be useful.

Quote Quote by tracydimarco View Post
Actually, my current boyfriend did just that. I was just waiting in line at Starbucks, & he asked if he could buy my coffee - no strings attached, I didn't have to sit with him, he just felt like I looked like I was having a crappy morning (I was) & deserved some niceness. Obviously, I wanted to sit & chat with him after that. Thoughtfulness is always a good thing :)
That's interesting, though I have an aversion to offering girls free stuff to gain their attention/affection.
Galteeth
#22
Dec7-10, 06:39 PM
P: 320
Quote Quote by wasteofo2 View Post
I don't dig lots of mystery method stuff, it's so fake.

You don't need a made up fight to approach a girl, in the day or at a bar.

Though what I'd written was for daytime, not bars. God I don't even know what I say at bars, it's so much more about body language, eye contact and physicality. You can easily make out with a girl without knowing her name when you're dancing and alcohol is involved, I think all those lines and stuff just complicate things.
Girls know that one by now. I know a girl who had a guy come up to her at a bar and try that line. She just laughed at him.
wasteofo2
#23
Dec7-10, 07:10 PM
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Quote Quote by Galteeth View Post
Girls know that one by now. I know a girl who had a guy come up to her at a bar and try that line. She just laughed at him.
Ha. I've seen guys use it and not get laughed at, but usually it doesn't work as a jumpoff for building attraction. The whole problem with ''lines'' is that they're used by guys who don't know what to say. So they memorize a few lines, go out there, and after a couple of sentences they're lost.

That's why getting good at conversation is way more useful than any routine or BS like that.
brainstorm
#24
Dec10-10, 05:28 PM
P: 1,117
Is it possible the "creepiness factor" of the come-on mostly depends on how attractive the woman finds the man? I think a hot guy can act any way he wants and the girl will use her social graces to save him from his own foot being in his mouth. On the other hand, if she's not attracted to you and you can make the best conversation, she'll talk with you and even like you but it will never materialize into attraction. Of course this gets more complicated when there's some attraction but the scale can tip one way or the other. Maybe this is too superficial (or cynical?) a perspective.
stonecoldgen
#25
Dec12-10, 11:11 PM
P: 103
i always try to talk to new people, and yeah, mostly to hot chicks

not that i can make it always

and i thought it had some kind of science (that's oour problem we think EVERYTHING has a science) but ive come to the conclusion that is just as simple as saying hi and then something random
brainstorm
#26
Dec13-10, 08:31 AM
P: 1,117
Have any of the guys following this thread thought about how they feel when a relatively unattractive, semi-attractive, or very attractive woman approaches them with the obvious primary reason that she finds you attractive? It might be flattering the first few times, but after that I would think it just gets annoying.
wasteofo2
#27
Dec13-10, 12:51 PM
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Quote Quote by brainstorm View Post
Have any of the guys following this thread thought about how they feel when a relatively unattractive, semi-attractive, or very attractive woman approaches them with the obvious primary reason that she finds you attractive? It might be flattering the first few times, but after that I would think it just gets annoying.
For men, attraction is very much about looks. For women, alot more factors come into play, and personality and confidence can go a long way making up for bad looks in a guy.

So if a series of unattractive girls approaches a man, yes he would easily get annoyed, cause he isn't attracted to them based purely on their looks.

But if an unattractive guy is confident, and a good conversationalist, a woman will give him much more attention than a man would give an equivalent woman. Unfair, but that's life.

In fact, I read a study saying that overweight women had less sex than the average woman, wheras overweight men had just as much sex as the average man.
FlexGunship
#28
Dec13-10, 03:48 PM
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Quote Quote by wasteofo2 View Post
I don't dig lots of mystery method stuff, it's so fake.
Yeah, I was pretty clear in my post that it wasn't something you could use normally, and that wasn't a particularly good example. The core of my point was this:
Say something that will cause her to think about your statement as opposed to how to reject you.
Bring value to the conversation. If you start off with "what's up?" you're putting the onus of conversation on her and implying that she's the one with something to share; no a good start.

If you're in public, just go for it. I am not kidding when I say just a couple of days ago I talked to a girl about her shows (which were Pumas, like mine) and then her argyle purse which matched my socks. The first thing I said was: "Hey, you have good taste in shoes." We talked for a bit. I gave her my number written on a piece of paper and told her to text me if she was interested. All it said was:

"I'm Shawn, and you're cute. XXX-XXX-XXXX"

She made the decision not to call or text me. That's fine. Normally I would've asked her for her number, but it was a short conversation.
wasteofo2
#29
Dec13-10, 05:17 PM
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Unless you are some incredibly high-value guy, giving a girl your number almost never results in anything.

Why?

Girls often want to deny culpability for their actions.

Often you can lead a girl to do something she would never do on her own. One of those things is having a conversation with you on the street.

But imagine that girl's mindframe after that convo. Why would she call some guy just because of a conversation they had on the street? It seems ridiculous, obviously the guy is just trying to get into her pants.

But, if the guy calls her, well she's just picking up the phone. And if he invites her out for drinks, well she's not going to DO anything with him, just get a drink. And if he gets her feeling good and goes in to kiss her, well, SHE didn't do it, he kissed her. And so on.
FlexGunship
#30
Dec13-10, 09:18 PM
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Quote Quote by wasteofo2 View Post
Unless you are some incredibly high-value guy
What do you mean by: "unless."

Girls often want to deny culpability ... SHE didn't do it, he kissed her. And so on.
Again, I didn't mean to imply it was something ideal. But the topic of this thread is literally "have you seen an attractive woman, walked to her, and started a conversation?" I believe my post was both pertinent and informational.

I also find that instead of asking for a number, handing a girl your phone and saying: "Here, put your number in there so I have it for later" actually works better. Also, if you get a number, I usually send a stupid text really quickly, like: "Who's that cute guy you're talking to?" It guarantees that your number is in her phone and it opens the route to casual texting.

Like it or not, people over 30, texting is a significant form of communication now.
wasteofo2
#31
Dec13-10, 09:54 PM
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Quote Quote by FlexGunship View Post
What do you mean by: "unless."
Good attitude, but did she call you back?


Quote Quote by FlexGunship View Post

I also find that instead of asking for a number, handing a girl your phone and saying: "Here, put your number in there so I have it for later" actually works better. Also, if you get a number, I usually send a stupid text really quickly, like: "Who's that cute guy you're talking to?" It guarantees that your number is in her phone and it opens the route to casual texting.

Like it or not, people over 30, texting is a significant form of communication now.
Not bad, though I would suggest going one step further and getting the girl's facebook instead of phone. Assuming she's young, that is. I dunno about how to deal with 35 year old women, but 20 year olds are definitely good to go for facebook flirting.
DanP
#32
Dec14-10, 06:18 AM
P: 630
Quote Quote by wasteofo2 View Post


Not bad, though I would suggest going one step further and getting the girl's facebook instead of phone. Assuming she's young, that is. I dunno about how to deal with 35 year old women, but 20 year olds are definitely good to go for facebook flirting.
Thats bull.
wasteofo2
#33
Dec17-10, 10:22 AM
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Quote Quote by DanP View Post
Thats bull.
Have you ever tried it?

If you meet a girl and talk to her for 5-30 minutes, it can often be hard to get her to meet up with you in the future. You simply haven't developed enough of a connection and/or attraction for her to care very much about the random dude she chatted with the other day.

So if you just chat to a girl, get her number and call/text her, you will often get flaked on/get ignored.

With facebook chat, you can further talk with the girl and get to know her, building more connection/attraction. Further, her simply seeing pictures of you keeps you in her consciousness more than just seeing ''Ted - 917-245-6683''.

Also, sometimes girls are hesitant to give out their numbers. That's fine, they don't know you so why should they? Facebook is less of a big deal to give out, and from there you can surprise her with how awesome you are, making her want to see you again.

Try it out once.
DanP
#34
Dec17-10, 12:22 PM
P: 630
Quote Quote by wasteofo2 View Post
Have you ever tried it?

If you meet a girl and talk to her for 5-30 minutes, it can often be hard to get her to meet up with you in the future. You simply haven't developed enough of a connection and/or attraction for her to care very much about the random dude she chatted with the other day.
It's not hard. You dont need a "connection". She gave you her phone number after all :P Just call.

Quote Quote by wasteofo2 View Post
So if you just chat to a girl, get her number and call/text her, you will often get flaked on/get ignored.
Call. Only kids and cheap men text for a first date. Besides, it;s all about communication, and verbal on phone does it much better than texts. I like them to hear my voice. About getting ignored, it didn't happened to me yet in this life to call a woman who gave me her phone number and not get an answer or my call returned.

Quote Quote by wasteofo2 View Post
With facebook chat, you can further talk with the girl and get to know her, building more connection/attraction. Further, her simply seeing pictures of you keeps you in her consciousness more than just seeing ''Ted - 917-245-6683''.
Yeah, you build that on internet , Ill just ask them out and have a good time.

Quote Quote by wasteofo2 View Post
Also, sometimes girls are hesitant to give out their numbers. That's fine, they don't know you so why should they? Facebook is less of a big deal to give out, and from there you can surprise her with how awesome you are, making her want to see you again.
Try it out once.
So you realize now that getting her facebook is not the "next level" as you claim, but a setback. Fine, you couldn't get her number, some other means of communication might be in order.

But whatever, nothing beats the phone.
wasteofo2
#35
Dec18-10, 04:11 AM
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Dan, I don't know what age-group you're going for, but it doesn't sound like the early 20's girls I know in the USA.

You may have found the group of girls that don't flake on phone numbers, or the group of girls that likes to talk on the phone, but they are not the majority.

Obviously the goal isn't to talk to her on facebook, but talking to someone on facebook can make them more likely to not flake on you in real life when you actually wanna see them.

When you get lots of girls numbers, you get lots of flakes, that's just part of life. I dunno where you're coming at this from, but meeting random people means some won't keep contact with you.
DanP
#36
Dec18-10, 09:22 AM
P: 630
Quote Quote by wasteofo2 View Post
When you get lots of girls numbers, you get lots of flakes, that's just part of life. I dunno where you're coming at this from, but meeting random people means some won't keep contact with you.
Perhaps, I don't walk your shoes. For me fake numbers are pretty much an unknown. It never happened to me. Besides, if you really got a fake number, you should move on, she aint too much into you anyway. Move fast.


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