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Women are crazy. Interpret this text exchange for me, please

by Jack21222
Tags: crazy, exchange, interpret, text, women
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PBechthold
#37
Oct2-11, 11:11 AM
P: 10
Quote Quote by TheStatutoryApe View Post
I suppose if one wants to be in a relationship where one is playing a role instead of being oneself that could work out. Personally I'm pretty tired of women who want me to play the role they have scripted for me rather than just liking me for who I am.
Ya. Your feelings are valid. But it isn't really a "playing a role". It is more of an understanding of what your partner is like and how to make them happy. Also, I don't know a married man to date that doesn't believe in "Happy wife, happy life"

But I do get your comment.
rootX
#38
Oct2-11, 02:12 PM
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Quote Quote by BobG View Post
Breakfast before 9? As you mentioned, it's impossible to get up early enough to get ready to make a half hour drive so you can have breakfast at 8, or even earlier?!

Clearly, she was inviting you to spend the night and the invitation flew completely over your head. Your response was to discuss logistics. Clearly, there's only two possibilities - spending the night with her just isn't worth the trouble or you're so hopelessly inept at the subtle communications of romance that you're just not worth the trouble.

Or at least assuming the breakfast invitation was an invitation to spend the night (even if turned out not to be) would have changed the tone of the conversation and kept you out of trouble.
I thought he over-interpreted what she said and making big deal out of comments like "Thanks alot I won't offer anything ever again" and escalating it to a serious fight But your post makes much more sense!
cmb
#39
Oct2-11, 02:29 PM
P: 628
As far as I can tell, this is fairly normal behaviour for neuro-typical humans, male or female. No good turn deserves to go unpunished.

I have made only one conclusion in my 20 years of relationships; to have no wife/girlfriend is to have too few of them, to have one is too many.
nucleargirl
#40
Oct2-11, 04:54 PM
P: 126
lollollol... this is totally something I could see myself doing...

Basically, she wants to see how much you want to spend time with her and enjoy her company! So if she was a super hot girl and you just met her last week, if she offered to cook you breakfast and you guys could eat together before going to the fair, you'd totally say yes right?! cos you are super attracted!

But now you know her for a while, you see her all the time, you stop feeling like she's so special and you cant be bothered to get up one hour early to see her. you'd rather sleep.
Well, this doesnt make her feel very good! she wants to feel like you are just as attracted to her and likes her just as much as before!

I guess its a little unrealistic of her to expect that... but if you love her, you could make a bit more effort! come on, its one hour of sleep. go to bed one hour earlier and go to her house with a flower in your hand and she will be super happy! and so will you.
Pengwuino
#41
Oct2-11, 05:17 PM
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Quote Quote by nucleargirl View Post
lollollol... this is totally something I could see myself doing...
$10 says you are the girl in question
Jack21222
#42
Oct2-11, 10:12 PM
P: 772
Quote Quote by nucleargirl View Post
Basically, she wants to see how much you want to spend time with her and enjoy her company! So if she was a super hot girl and you just met her last week, if she offered to cook you breakfast and you guys could eat together before going to the fair, you'd totally say yes right?! cos you are super attracted!
Wrong

But now you know her for a while, you see her all the time, you stop feeling like she's so special and you cant be bothered to get up one hour early to see her. you'd rather sleep.
Well, this doesnt make her feel very good! she wants to feel like you are just as attracted to her and likes her just as much as before!

I guess its a little unrealistic of her to expect that... but if you love her, you could make a bit more effort! come on, its one hour of sleep. go to bed one hour earlier and go to her house with a flower in your hand and she will be super happy! and so will you.
A little more effort? I just spent almost 14 hours with her. Surely that's enough.

I really don't think I would be "super happy" about getting there early with a flower in my hand, anyway. That just doesn't sound like something I'd do.
DaveC426913
#43
Oct2-11, 10:23 PM
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You people are brutal. And you judge like none of you have ever had a misunderstanding via electronic messaging.

"I'll pass. Thanks anyway" is quite terse and can be construed to be quite a cold rejection.

Granted, she may have overreacted. But it could have been easily rectified by acknowledging that she wanted to do something nice, but it would be awkward for your schedule, and there's no sleight intended. Instead you act like her feeling sleighted - even for the moment - is "crazy". There is no empathy here for her feelings. It was just an ember, but you threw gasoline on it.

This is a classic case of mutual escalation. One steps out of line, even momentarily, and the other, rather than cajoling the two of them back to centre with a calming word, pushes it further from centre. Spiral downward guaranteed.


You guys might be both better off apart.
Evo
#44
Oct2-11, 10:44 PM
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My *crazy sensor* has never been wrong.
Pyrrhus
#45
Oct3-11, 01:15 AM
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Hmmm, I would have probably ignored her response about you rejecting the offer, and just tell her you'll see her at the pick up time, and move along.
I like Serena
#46
Oct3-11, 02:35 AM
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Quote Quote by Jack21222 View Post
Wrong
Uhh...

Could you elaborate?
Phrak
#47
Oct3-11, 03:11 AM
P: 4,513
Crazy. Under reacting. Over reacting.

These don't say much.

The woman wants some romance out of you and you are not responding correctly. Romance means worship. She does some small thing, like making bacon and eggs, and you are supposed to go gnumb with appreciation and faun all over her and treat her to extravigant gifts, treats and delights.

You are not living up to the romance novels. Get with it shipmate.

--or just use, abuse and dump her; she's crazy.
MarcoD
#48
Oct3-11, 05:31 AM
P: 98
Quote Quote by Phrak View Post
You are not living up to the romance novels. Get with it shipmate.

--or just use, abuse and dump her; she's crazy.
Yah, that's what I think too. Girl wants some romance, and he probably always wants to drive. Nothing happening, totally normal relation.

Man, two 'crazinesses' in three months. Last relation I had saw tree mood swings a day including the aggressiveness and throwing with stuff. Couldn't get it to work, that's the only thought I have on the whole subject.
DaveC426913
#49
Oct3-11, 08:22 AM
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Quote Quote by Phrak View Post

The woman wants some romance out of you and you are not responding correctly. Romance means worship. She does some small thing, like making bacon and eggs, and you are supposed to go gnumb with appreciation and faun all over her and treat her to extravigant gifts, treats and delights.

You are not living up to the romance novels. Get with it shipmate.
Wow.

You single?
256bits
#50
Oct3-11, 09:19 AM
P: 1,425
This may tide Jack through life ( and the rest of us dumb males ) who find the woman's mind a mystery.
http://funny2.com/whatwomenwantinaman.htm

What women want in a man at age 25:

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover


What women want in a man at age 35:

1. Nice looking (preferably with hair)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What women want in a man at age 45:

1. Not too ugly (bald head is fine)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What women want in a man at age 55:

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What women want in a man at age 65:

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What women want in a man at age 75:

1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet
Phrak
#51
Oct4-11, 04:35 AM
P: 4,513
Quote Quote by DaveC426913 View Post
Wow.

You single?
No, I'm married. And the default state of toilet seat covers is up, of course.

You?
noobilly
#52
Oct4-11, 05:14 AM
P: 23
The girl is kinda oversensitive, I agree. Could be the tone "Thanks anyway, but I'll pass" though, which sounds a tad bit cold. If it was me I would say "Thanks a lot dear, but I really need more sleep, next time we'll have breakfast together". Then if she gets angry at that, well, the red flag is more clear.
Drakkith
#53
Oct4-11, 05:36 AM
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I see at least two issues here.

A: Text conveys no cues for emotions and such that a verbal conversation might have given.

B: It "appears" that she expected you to say yes and have breakfast. This is extremely normal, even if it makes no sense. I guarantee you that almost everyone here has done this a few times in their lives. Some people do it much more often, and are "passive aggressive" with it. The best way to avoid confusion is to clearly talk about these issues when they arise so that both you and your partner understand each other. Next time either she will say "I want to have breakfast with you" or you will understand the phrase to mean that instead. Hopefully it's a mix of the 2, aka compromise. While it may not seem fair to you, and you may think she simply needs to be clear with what she means, it is nearly impossible to change someone's personality traits and behaviors completely. You WILL run into this again. Either you learn to live with it a little bit or your relationship probably won't last.

DISCLAIMER: The poster is not a licensed anything, and probably has no idea what he's talking about, and makes no guarantee about the accuracy of said post.
Jack21222
#54
Oct4-11, 06:35 AM
P: 772
Quote Quote by Drakkith View Post
Either you learn to live with it a little bit or your relationship probably won't last.
Eh, I'm not really the relationship type anyway. If I stick it out for a few more months, the problem might solve itself. If I get accepted to a far away grad school and rejected nearby, we'll have to break up, and I won't look like a jerk for doing it. :-p


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