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So finding one's soul mate is/is not a lasting thing?

by DoggerDan
Tags: is or is, lasting, soul mate, thing
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DoggerDan
#1
Nov18-11, 02:12 AM
P: 77
Demi and Ashton often described themselves as "soul mates." Yet, they're not splitting up. It appears to be Demi's choice, yet Ashton appears to be accepting it without a fight.

http://omg.yahoo.com/news/apnewsbrea...212845226.html

This isn't about Ashton and Demi, though feel free to use them as an example.

It's about the concept of a "soul mate." I'm not sure I buy into that, particularly if it implies there's "only one" person out there who could be one's "soul mate," as I've met half a dozen ladies over the years with whom I could have steadfastly bonded for the remainder of our lives. I knew it, and they knew it. Unfortunately, my ex wasn't one of them, and those who were, were married, so we didn't go down that road.

I recently met someone who meets a loose description of "soul mate" but who is not married. Being with her is like being with the best friend I've ever had. We just seem to get one another, and enjoy hanging out together. I think it's because we share the same faith, and have shared similar experiences. We both know where things look like they're heading, but we're taking things slow, yet steady.

What do you think about the "soul mate" concept? Yeah? Nay? Somewhere in between?
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rhody
#2
Nov18-11, 04:53 PM
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Quote Quote by DoggerDan View Post
It's about the concept of a "soul mate."

I recently met someone who meets a loose description of "soul mate" but who is not married. Being with her is like being with the best friend I've ever had. We just seem to get one another, and enjoy hanging out together. I think it's because we share the same faith, and have shared similar experiences. We both know where things look like they're heading, but we're taking things slow, yet steady.

What do you think about the "soul mate" concept? Yeah? Nay? Somewhere in between?
First, congratulations, I am happy for you Dogger, life is short and we all should try to be happy (with or without a significant other) as we work our way through it. I know what you are saying, some people are more compatible than others, and if the shared values are similar enough and your personalities are compatible enough, then that other person could qualify as a "soulmate" as you prefer to call it. I believe Demi called Aston her "soulmate". That being said, their backgrounds may have stacked the deck against them. Sad to see it play out in the public eye. See the articles from the two sources listed below: Daily Mail and USAToday and if the information written is accurate is a bird of another feather.
'I think they probably had a lot of good times with some other women... Clearly they had a lot of threesomes, that led to twosomes without Demi and that leads to a divorce. I absolutely feel for her.
and
Psychoanalyst Fran Cohen Praver, author of The New Science of Love: How Understanding Your Brain's Wiring Can Help Rekindle Your Relationship and a blogger for Psychology Today, feels that Kutcher and Moore's marriage "was doomed from the start. They came together out of weakness."

Praver suggests that Kutcher's cheating ways may have been an attempt to "act out his adolescence. He missed out on that; his fraternal twin brother has a mild case of cerebral palsy and had heart problems, and Ashton was intent on helping out." In marrying the older Moore, Praver adds, Kutcher might have been seeking "a solid mother figure," since his parents divorced when he was a teenager.

Moore's background was equally "unstable," Praver posits: "Both parents were alcoholics, and they moved 40 times. She didn't marry an alcoholic, but she married a cheater, which is the same thing. So both (Kutcher and Moore) never really resolved their pasts. Two halves don't make a whole; both people (in a marriage) have to be strong and independent."
I believe there are people you meet that you may develop that special bond (soul mate) with, regardless of the baggage you bring to the relationship. I have met one or two in my day as well. You never forget them. Best of luck, "taking things slow, yet steady." I wish you well.

Rhody...
Astronuc
#3
Nov18-11, 05:00 PM
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I think it depends on the two individuals involved. Both sets of grandparents were together until my grandmothers died, and my parents just passed 55 years together as a married couple, and they were engaged for about 7 years because the universities didn't accommodate married students. So my parents have basically begin together for 62 years.

On the other hand, the majority of couples I know have divorced, at least of my generation and younger.

rhody
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Nov18-11, 05:19 PM
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So finding one's soul mate is/is not a lasting thing?

Quote Quote by Astronuc View Post
I think it depends on the two individuals involved. Both sets of grandparents were together until my grandmothers died, and my parents just passed 55 years together as a married couple, and they were engaged for about 7 years because the universities didn't accommodate married students. So my parents have basically begin together for 62 years.

On the other hand, the majority of couples I know have divorced, at least of my generation and younger.
Funny, you bring up the subject of longevity in marriage, a co-worker who has three brothers and three sisters (all married), and between them, now grown adults in their mid to late forties, they have 15 grandchildren, and get this, they are all still married to their first spouse !! The subject of marriage and divorce came up at work today, and he told us his family's amazing story.

Rhody...
Adyssa
#5
Nov18-11, 05:30 PM
P: 188
I don't really agree with the concept of a "Soul Mate", it's all a bit wishy washy, Mr(s) Right is out there, find your Prince(ss) Charming and live happily ever after, fated to be, etc, it makes me sick.

However, I have met a few people over the years that I will be glad to know for the rest of my life. My ex-girlfriend, now just a good friend is one of these people, and I have a male friend that kind of fits this description too. We think the same way, can finish each others sentences, understand each other's quirky humour, like the same music, movies, books, outdoor activities etc...

It's just a compatible personality thing IMHO, I can get along well with almost anyone, but there are a few people in particular who I really click with.
Evo
#6
Nov18-11, 05:33 PM
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Funny how everyone has a soul mate within 20 miles of wherever they live. If I have a soul mate he's either dead, gay, or married to someone else.

What matters is that you're happy.
256bits
#7
Nov18-11, 09:38 PM
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Quote Quote by Evo View Post
Funny how everyone has a soul mate within 20 miles of wherever they live. If I have a soul mate he's either dead, gay, or married to someone else.

What matters is that you're happy.
My soulmate.
She is somewhere is eastern Europe - I don;t know exactly where, so that makes my soul mate so much more mysterious and interesting and desirable. For only a small sum I can bring my soulmate princess and her family over and we can be together forever and ever in everlasting happiness. If I could only find her.
Evo
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Nov18-11, 09:49 PM
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Quote Quote by 256bits View Post
My soulmate.
She is somewhere is eastern Europe - I don;t know exactly where, so that makes my soul mate so much more mysterious and interesting and desirable. For only a small sum I can bring my soulmate princess and her family over and we can be together forever and ever in everlasting happiness. If I could only find her.
Don't end up like this guy.

http://news.yahoo.com/american-stran...181151852.html
micromass
#9
Nov18-11, 09:58 PM
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Quote Quote by Evo View Post
Funny how everyone has a soul mate within 20 miles of wherever they live.
Hmm, so somewhere out there is my soulmate... Now the only question is how do I meet her?
Evo
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Nov18-11, 10:05 PM
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Quote Quote by micromass View Post
Hmm, so somewhere out there is my soulmate... Now the only question is how do I meet her?
She ran off with my soulmate.
micromass
#11
Nov18-11, 10:06 PM
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Quote Quote by Evo View Post
She ran off with my soulmate.
Awww Wanna get virtually drunk again??
Evo
#12
Nov18-11, 10:11 PM
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Quote Quote by micromass View Post
Awww Wanna get virtually drunk again??
Let's do it. I want bailey's irish cream.
micromass
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Nov18-11, 10:21 PM
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Evo
#14
Nov18-11, 10:24 PM
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Quote Quote by micromass View Post
ooohh!!!!
chiro
#15
Nov18-11, 10:33 PM
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Quote Quote by DoggerDan View Post
Demi and Ashton often described themselves as "soul mates." Yet, they're not splitting up. It appears to be Demi's choice, yet Ashton appears to be accepting it without a fight.

http://omg.yahoo.com/news/apnewsbrea...212845226.html

This isn't about Ashton and Demi, though feel free to use them as an example.

It's about the concept of a "soul mate." I'm not sure I buy into that, particularly if it implies there's "only one" person out there who could be one's "soul mate," as I've met half a dozen ladies over the years with whom I could have steadfastly bonded for the remainder of our lives. I knew it, and they knew it. Unfortunately, my ex wasn't one of them, and those who were, were married, so we didn't go down that road.

I recently met someone who meets a loose description of "soul mate" but who is not married. Being with her is like being with the best friend I've ever had. We just seem to get one another, and enjoy hanging out together. I think it's because we share the same faith, and have shared similar experiences. We both know where things look like they're heading, but we're taking things slow, yet steady.

What do you think about the "soul mate" concept? Yeah? Nay? Somewhere in between?
Some people have put forward that the idea of a soul-mate is related to that of karma. The idea is that the two souls are ones that have karma related to each other. It's along the lines of people having a strong bond based on their experiences of past lives and the interactions that is contained in these experiences.

Also to the moderators: I know this is scientific forum, and I'm not arguing the veracity of these claims, I'm just putting it out there, so don't extrapolate anything unnecessary out of this please.

But in terms of finding people you can be happy with, I agree there are probably many people that fit this description. Just probabilistically, I can't imagine that for a planet of approximately 6 billion human beings that only 1 in roughly 3 billion is worthy of eternal companionship of that sort.

Personally I think its better to meet many different people in one way or another to really get more out of life because the variation is what gives you great insight, appreciation, and exposure to life in general.
DaveC426913
#16
Nov18-11, 11:30 PM
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Recently overheard:

If I had a soul, you'd be its mate.
StevieTNZ
#17
Nov19-11, 12:03 AM
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Quote Quote by Evo View Post
Let's do it. I want bailey's irish cream.
I love that stuff!
Constantinos
#18
Nov19-11, 05:25 AM
P: 78
I have found my soul-mate. The day we part from each other is the day I'll die. I had to look for him, but I realized quickly that I was looking in the wrong place all along. Then, as if destiny had smiled upon me, he was just there looking back at me.

Through the mirror.


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