A relationship poll - What you look/looked for!

Gad

Quote by Ivan Seeking

And to the extent that you are guided by your head, and not your heart, make sure it's the right one!

+1...

Topher925

You forgot religion or lack there of.

turbo

There is a factor that is quite important to me. Spontaneity and honesty. If a woman was calculating and seemed to want control, that was a deal-killer right out of the chute. I won't argue for impetuous behavior (not a good thing), but if a young lady would set aside preconceptions and engage in unplanned activities that might be fun for both of us, that was a big draw. I don't care if it was climbing the local "mountain" to hang out on the bluff overlooking the intersection of two major routes here and watch the traffic (with no prior notice) or just hiking through some farmland so I could take some pictures of interesting trees, plants (or her). When a young lady acts interested in what *you* suggest as activities, that's a pretty big draw.

Even better is when she suggests alternate activities that don't involve driving 20-50 miles and spending $$, because that rarely resulted in "fun".

fluidistic

Well for me the most important is the sex. If the person is a woman she has chances, otherwise no.

Astronuc

Quote by rootX

This is similar to the "What do 'nerdy' guys like in girls?" thread but I am making this bit generic.

I have come up with the following list of things which one might look for.

Culture
Ethnicity
Income
Interests
Profession
Sense of Humor
His/Her Opinions
Food Interests
Health
Age
His/Her relationship with the family
His/Her friends
Political views
Distance/Location
Other

I think ethnicity and distance/location are strange criteria. A person is who they are, and they just happen to be where they are. Like Evo, I was hoping to find someone who was intelligent and compassionate (kind). Most other aspects list are a consequence of one's character. Of course, I dated women who were not too young and not too old, and generally the women I dated were the same age or older.

Quote by Ivan Seeking

My point was that falling in love isn't an engineering problem.

I thought it was applied science.

rootX

Quote by Ivan Seeking

My point was that falling in love isn't an engineering problem.

Quote by Evo

I think it might be for some of our members.

Time to make some engineering decision matrices

TurtleMeister

Quote by Astronuc

I think ethnicity and distance/location are strange criteria.

Actually, location was a factor that I considered. I was satified with my location and I did not want to move. However, I ended up moving anyway. So it was not as important as I thought it was.

Another important consideration that was left off the list is children.

netgypsy

attentiveness, ability to listen, kindness, empathy, creativity, interesting, fun, animal lover and really really hot. Good looks are something that can be added later simply because the person wants the one they are interested in to be proud to be seen with them and to know that they care about looking nice for them. Grooming wasn't mentioned either and although it's generally a given you'd be amazed at how many people are slack in this area. The right person also makes you feel safe and comfortable. They can be TRUSTED because they sincerely care. They will go out of their way to make you happy and you will do the same.

ihatesnakes

in a person: all the "generaly considered good" attributes that have been said already. uy, and humbleness and ability to auto-criticize

in a relatioship: that feeling of complicity being above all other issues between the 2 of you; with how rough life is sometimes, that bonnie and clyde aura

I'm Awesome

I like intelligent men, that are honest, and share similar intrests with me.
I'm surprised appereance wasn't on the poll considering that's the first thing people notice when persuing someone. I feel shallow saying it, but I think we all know that it's true.

netgypsy

Appearance is huge but being handsome or beautiful according to society's view is much less important because one can always improve this to whatever degree desired. People who are born with an appearance that is considered extraordinarily good looking seem to have a very difficult life because they are prized for their appearance rather than their "essence" and the ones I know personally have had multiple marriages and a lot of problems. Better to start out pretty ordinary and improve when you're old enough to know how little it matters in the grand scheme of things.

BobG

Quote by Ivan Seeking

My point was that falling in love isn't an engineering problem.

Quote by Evo

I think it might be for some of our members.

Point - Evo
http://www.plosone.org/article/info%...one.0009881#s1

A simple version of the second law can be written in terms of feeling and effort variables as the differential equation

(1)

with r>0 and a>0. Without intervention (i.e. c(t) = 0), Eq. (1) implies that x(t) fades at a constant rate r, specific to each relationship, which is a measure of the strength of feeling fading. This simple linear law is well-known to steer many natural and social phenomena. In fact, its discrete version was used in [9] to describe the baseline evolution of uninfluenced partner behaviour in short-term marital interaction. At any rate, Eq. (1) with c(t) = 0 is the first obvious working hypothesis for the decaying law of feeling. Effort enters as a recovery term in Eq. (1) counteracting the weakening of feeling. The parameter a obviously indicates effort efficiency. Selecting an effort plan c(t) determines the evolution of the feeling by solving Eq. (1) for x(t). Eq. (1) implicitly entails that x(t) changes smoothly, except at effort discontinuities.

The intensity of c(t) can be decided by the partners involved, in contrast to the level of the (non-rational) variable x(t), that cannot. The rational nature of the effort variable c(t) allows one to interpret it as a control variable in the scenario of optimal control theory [29]. In this setting, the controlled variable –the state variable– is x(t) and Eq. (1) is the state equation linking both variables.

Alesak

You forgot ability/energy. If she is the most intelligent and kind and funny and sexy person ever, yet is farting to couch and watches TV all day... ok, such person doesn't exist, you win.

zoobyshoe

Quote by ihatesnakes

in a relatioship: that feeling of complicity being above all other issues between the 2 of you; with how rough life is sometimes, that bonnie and clyde aura

This is interesting. Could you expand on this? Also, are you male or female?

netgypsy

When you think about it, it is pretty simple - if you take out more than you put in, eventually it'll fail unless the other party can and will just put in endlessly, which is pretty uncommon. And you can "bank" relationship points in case you need to withdraw extras later.

BobG

Quote by netgypsy

When you think about it, it is pretty simple - if you take out more than you put in, eventually it'll fail unless the other party can and will just put in endlessly, which is pretty uncommon. And you can "bank" relationship points in case you need to withdraw extras later.

Possibly. It depends on what love is. If it is a type of energy, then clearly it's subject to the law of conservation of energy. But there's more than one type of energy and there is no law stating that any individual type of energy has to be conserved.

For example, when Jack goes tumbling down the hill and Jill comes tumbling after, clearly their potential energy has been converted to kinetic energy. But, eventually, they do stop tumbling and their kinetic energy has to have been coverted into some other type of energy. Who's to say that at least some of their kinetic energy was converted to the energy of love, increasing their passion for one another.

Or, perhaps, love is a lepton. You also have to have conservation of leptons. So, if love is a lepton, what you say could be true .... except you also have different types of leptons and only the total number of leptons needs to be conserved.

What you say is only definitely true if love is a conserved property unto itself, but then you still run into the problem that there's also different types of love and only the total amount of love needs to be conserved - not each individual type of love.

leroyjenkens

Quote by fluidistic

Well for me the most important is the sex. If the person is a woman she has chances, otherwise no.

A true nerd answer. That's what nerds look for in women... the woman part.

View Poll Results: What you look/looked for befor jumping into a serious relationship
Culture	24	31.17%
Ethnicity	17	22.08%
Income	7	9.09%
Interests	59	76.62%
Profession	20	25.97%
Sense of Humor	53	68.83%
His/Her Opinions	50	64.94%
Food Interests	8	10.39%
Health	33	42.86%
Age	37	48.05%
His/Her relationship with the family	19	24.68%
His/Her friends	15	19.48%
Political views	19	24.68%
Distance/Location	35	45.45%
Other	31	40.26%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 77. You may not vote on this poll

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fluidistic Recognitions: Gold Member	Well for me the most important is the sex. If the person is a woman she has chances, otherwise no.

ihatesnakes	in a person: all the "generaly considered good" attributes that have been said already. uy, and humbleness and ability to auto-criticize in a relatioship: that feeling of complicity being above all other issues between the 2 of you; with how rough life is sometimes, that bonnie and clyde aura

I'm Awesome	I like intelligent men, that are honest, and share similar intrests with me. I'm surprised appereance wasn't on the poll considering that's the first thing people notice when persuing someone. I feel shallow saying it, but I think we all know that it's true.

Alesak Recognitions: Gold Member	You forgot ability/energy. If she is the most intelligent and kind and funny and sexy person ever, yet is farting to couch and watches TV all day... ok, such person doesn't exist, you win.

netgypsy	When you think about it, it is pretty simple - if you take out more than you put in, eventually it'll fail unless the other party can and will just put in endlessly, which is pretty uncommon. And you can "bank" relationship points in case you need to withdraw extras later.