Father puts .45 rounds into teenage girl's laptop...

Oltz

If you look back at post #56 I will assume most have not seen it as it was far back it contains a reply from teh father to a news outlet originally posted by Char.limit

He included the parents of many of the "friends" involved.

Evo how many people can you say somethign to and still consider it to be confide(ing) it in private to friends?

I do not think that number is over 20 let alone 400.

For the count I support the dads choice but would prefer he threw it out the window, but once he committed in the previous grounding to putting a bullet in it he needed to follow thru.

Evo

She didn't post it on youtube. I think the father is insecure, and vindictive. Great example for a child, IMO. I'm so glad that I had emotionally stable parents.

Oltz

Its not about posting it on you tube he used you tube to host the video and post it to FB her "private friends list" included more then 400 people.

I agree that it was not the best plan on his part but she as you have said repeatedly was not just venting to close friends in private.

Does that change your rather harsh stance on him at all?

Or are you sticking with the "she was posting in private to her friends" he had no right to even see it let alone punish her for it?

For all we know one of the parents of another child saw it on a news "feed" and called him about it before he "broke into" her FB account.

Pythagorean

@ Hurkyl

It's fairly standard child psychology that states that punishing bad behavior is ineffective compared to rewarding good behavior. Punishment is a short term resolution that is more convenient for parents; sometimes it's all a parent can do for their own sanity. I don't retract those statements, but they aren't the main issue; the one you specifically asked about: emotional inhibition.

You're still putting words in my mouth. The props still don't matter. It's the method (which can be reproduced with any number of props).

Are you honestly having trouble with this or are you attempting Socratic sagaciousness?

I like Serena

I just... disagree.


When a parent is totally fed up with the behavior of his child, I think it is good that he does not keep that to himself, but that he shows that.
That's not about punishing or rewarding, which is more of a policy.
It's about venting what you really think and feel.
IMO that's one of the best messages anyone can send - straight from the heart.

Pythagorean

Yes, discussion is good. Badass tough guy demonstration not so much.

Pythagorean

I should specify though, depending on how you mean "venting". The wiki on "catharsis" has some citations to why venting might be bad (basically it reinforces negative feelings by rewarding them, so it increases the chance you'll have negative reactions inte future)

Pythagorean

iPhone typing is high stress situation. Im trying not to shoot autocorrect...

Integral

This is what the thread should be addressing, not whether discipline was in order, but if one should use a gun for disciplining misbehavior.

In my eyes the use of a gun in this fashion is a very thinly veiled threat. He used his weapon on an inanimate object for this "crime". For what "crime" will he use it on an animate object. If you make him mad enough will he shoot the offender?

As I said before if you have to discipline a teenager you are 10yrs to late. Proper parenting teaches discipline and respect by being disciplined and respectful. You cannot beat respect or discipline into a child's head or behind, if you treat them with respect they will respect you in return. If you behave in a disciplined manner your kids will learn discipline.

While there may be a few humans who cannot and will not learn such basic lessons I think that they are very few and far in between. Virtually every teenager I have worked with responds to respect with respect.

Hurkyl

I didn't ask for a retraction, just if you were withdrawing them from the conversation.

The method he used was "shoot the laptop on video."

One, of course, might mean to emphasize / deemphasize different aspects of the issue, or consider it in more or less generality. It's hard to know, especially since I feel like you've been almost deliberately vague and resisting attempts to clarify.

I honestly don't know. If I don't want to just ignore you, I'm forced to put words in your mouth. I prefer to let you know what words I think fit best, and give you a chance to replace them with words of your own.


(aside: to one of the more likely alternatives, I'm going to reply something about "snapping a credit card". If that doesn't actually make sense, then ignore it)

Pythagorean

He could have beat his chest and stomped around for all I care. It's still a bad demonstration for your kids... Integral has pretty much hit the same main point I did: lead by example: that's the bottom line. Demands are useless if you're already at war with your teen. If you're at war with your teen, you've already messed up.

Hurkyl

No offense, but I think this is ridiculous. I strongly suspect this attitude is a product of villainizing guns and gun owners, rather than having any sort of sound basis in reality.

There is a huge difference between destroying an object and killing someone in a berserker rampage. I can't imagine there is any credible threat, except in the case where the person already has abusive tendencies or other edge cases.

And to be a veiled threat actually requires the person to take some action to make the implication.


Whether or not it's true, one cannot react to a situation by taking actions 10 years in the past; they have to take actions in the present.

Pythagorean

What are you still confused about? I'll be happy to clarify it. If you ask a wrong question, there's not much I can do. Most of your questions have been wrong so far; I thought you were doing it intentionally to make some point.

lostcauses10x

And what if all of this was just staged??

Char. Limit

Then the last 12 pages were a giant commentary on America.

MarcoD

Father -1

Pythagorean

It would still have the same repercussions on the outside world as long as they remain ignorant to the truth: some people will use it to justify their parenting behavior, others would use it to criticize what they see as bad parenting behavior.