I don't know about anything anymore

Deadrem

This is going to look like alot of random junk because it is and I'm not sure where or how to post it.
I'm no way affiliated in physics what so ever besides the questions that are driving me insane
I wrote a large amount of gibberish on Notepad in which I'm not even sure what I'm asking but it confuses me.
I'll try and rephrase it the best I can for what I understand and I'm sorry for posting this, but I need help.



In essence, we are and never will be an existing form of concience due to the cicumstances that in some choatic manner we exist. I will continue to exist on and on until whatever this is ends and it never will, because it never started. Why are we so excepting of our contamination if we never really had a start? It's as if we appeared and focused on the social bonds with one another to a point everyone and everything is connected. Does This means we are a form of energy on a set path to do this over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over? Why?
Is it really me writing this or am I supposed to be on a set course of "thinking" this and being alone having the same thoughts infinitely. What exactly is infinity? is zero considered infinity? Zero is nothing. There's a number left out that we can't know and never will know, but what is it? That's kind of a rhetorical question in all honesty. So this is reality
o
Is reality even reality? How can you define such a word. IS that little ant running amuck the ant hill just the same as me how it can't tell what I am who I am or if I'm anything like it? There's a conscience bigger than us but where does it stop exactly?
The universe has no reasoning besides what we want to call reasoning, The thoughts in my brain are just not capaple of grasping this concept and unfortunately it never will be, but at least I have the benefit of knowing neither does the conscience above us. We're all clueless what the hell does it all mean.
It
Doesn't
Make
Sense
----------------------------- what is a glitch exactly? A flaw... correct?
what causes a glitch?
intelligent error
The argument of if or isn't there a god is pointless and doesn't even reflect off of this. Why do I instinctively ask these questions if there's no possible way of knowing the answers? This destroys my entire concept that we aren't supposed to know.




Yes I know I'm insane, I wrote all this to myself and figured I would share it.
I've just been thinking about how pointless life is due to depression which accumulated into this.

I just want help; I want a reason to be happy.

Evo

I'm afraid we can't help you. If you feel troubled, please seek professional help. Good luck to you.