How do you meet intelligent women?

QuarkCharmer

I'm a huge dork and very socially anxious. I have a hard time approaching women, but fortunately I am quite attractive (I am told). Whenever I go out anywhere I am approached by really attractive women (by conventional standards), and as a result, I never really need to approach women for the most part, but I find each new relationship progressively less fulfilling. I am interested in women that have their lives in order, are passionate about something other than reality television and hair-care products.

I have been talking to this really cute girl who works at my local book store. She's studying mathematics, plays the violin, two things that I really enjoy myself. I thought things were going fine when she invited me to go out with her and some of her friends. I happily went and had a great time talking to her as usual, until she introduced me to a friend of hers. From that point on, it seemed like she invited me just to set me up with her very attractive attractive but not remotely interesting girlfriend who also works at that bookstore.

I don't know how how to meet the types of girls that I might be interested in having an "actual" meaningful relationship with.

Pengwuino

Why didn't you just flat out ask the girl you're interested in out instead!

QuarkCharmer

I tried! I suggested we meet up or do something, something along those lines, and she replied with "Oh were doing this thing on Friday ect". Maybe I was not clear on my intentions, I should have just asked her specifically to do something sans friends, but now it's probably too late.

This isn't a specific instance, this happens to me all the time. I am invisible to normal girls.

Greg Bernhardt

Yes you must be specific. Be direct. Women respect it. If she declines without offering an alternative date or at least expressing much interest then she prolly isn't into you. People who are interested WILL make themselves available.

nucleargirl

maybe she thinks she's not attractive enough for you and so assumes you cant be into her (cos you are good-looking, and she seems sensible). be direct, like: girl, you are the one I like, not your friend. You seem really interesting and I would really like to spend some time with you and get to know you. or just do something cute and just for her so she gets that you like only her - bring her a cupcake or something at work :) or a flower. or take time to chat to her when you see her, care about how she is.

and if ur goodlooking then she might think cos girls throw themselves at you, you might be a player, and she doesnt want to be just another fling, so she's seeing if you are really into her - playing a bit hard to get to test your intentions.

Topher925

Geez you girls are complicated. Next time any of you gals say to yourself "why is it so hard to find a nice guy?", this is why.

Just ask her out on a date and be direct about it. If she says yes, great, if she says no, move on, there's other fish in the sea.

Antiphon

The fix-up is a reliable indication that she's not interested in you.

You are probably emitting Dorkons. These are little hints to a woman that you do not think you are powerful and self-assured.

James Bond never fidgets, is always a gentleman, emits zero Dorkons, and can snap anyone in two. It shows in the way he carries himself. How do you carry yourself? Do you wear nice shoes? A nice watch? How's your hair cut? How's it styled? These are the metrics women have to size you up with.

turbo

Just be frank and respectful. Women generally don't want to be "hit on" by men that they don't know. If they assume that they know you, however, Katy bar the door, because they will be the ones doing the hitting. Take some time and lay some track.

QuarkCharmer

I have been trained in "how to dress like an adult", I don't think that is the issue. I typically leave my opinions on why The Next Generation is far superior to DS9 at home, so I don't put anyone off. I really have no idea how to approach women and it's not something I have generally had to worry about much. How would you even go about that without coming off like you are intentionally hitting on them?

Dude.

Know what you want, and the path will work itself out. As long as you have the courage to take those scary leaps of vulnerability, you'll be fine man.

Know that in order to get what you want (ie, an intelligent girlfriend), it's going to be extremely anxiety-inducing, because it's new and you're just not used to it. So when you feel that anxiety, understand that it's a good sign! Use it as strength man.


And if all else fails, having a cute chick friend that's fun to talk to is way better than not having a cute chick friend that's fun to talk to. You really don't need a girlfriend.

Have fun dude! I hope everything goes well.

physiqueper4

did you try near departments of science in universities???

aabottom

I meet intelligent women all the time. Mostly, I've meet them on the dance floor- social dancing such as swing, mambo, cha-cha, waltz, foxtrot, etc. Almost all of them, I've met while doing something I like to do: dance, mountain biking, road biking, volleyball, parties at a friend's house.

I can't think of any woman (intellegent or not) that I've met in a bar, that I still know.

psparky

How do you meet intelligent women?

This question has been asked for millions of years now.....you are not the first to ask!

First of all, you should be looking for a life long partner.....rather than a girlfriend. Don't just "bang" around like most young people. Search for your soulmate. The obsession of being a stud or Don Juan is total bull crap and a total waste of time. Be real with women......win over their minds and they will give you their body and soul.

If you have women hitting on you....it's simple, be patient. Eventually an intelligent one that shares your interests will eventually come along.

Being hit on by women is obviously a rare thing. Appreciate it instead of taking it for granted. You will know almost instantly when she is standing in front of you..

turbo

One night after trudging through a blizzard to get to a local bar (a dive under a motel), I was approached by a tall grad student asking "can I sit with you if I buy you a drink?".

It's not all that rare, if you don't look like a predator or a "player". We had a great relationship for years. She took the initiative. I might not have (too sad).

One thing that bugged me a bit was that she always scooched down a little when someone was taking our picture, as if she wanted to down-play the fact that she was about 3" taller than me. She was a lovely woman and very intelligent, but social pressures can creep in.

Still, I met a very intelligent woman by trudging through snow alone to crappy little bar.

zoobyshoe

Not in my experience.

psparky

I was referring to the original poster who made it sound like he gets swooned on by 5 woman every where he goes.

Obviously we've all been hit on by women......

DaveC426913

Nor in mine. I get hit on by my wife every time I forget to put my dirty shirts in the laundry.