Yo mama jokes for physicists

[carl915]

This made me laugh.

See more at http://www.calamitiesofnature.com/"

 

[Averagesupernova]

Yo mama is so massive she has her own event horizon.
-
Yo mama is so stupid she dropped out of physics and became a chemist. (Ok, that's acutally a jab at chemists. Haha. And I don't really feel that way but it is some good material for someone some day.)

 

[Janus]

Yo mama is so heavy that when she turns around she produces easily measurable frame-dragging.

 

[stevenb]

Yo mama works so hard, Hamilton's principle breaks down within about 10 meters of wherever she needs to be to take care of you.



Yeah OK, it's not an insult, but hey ... it just aint right to insult yo mama.

 

[IMP]

Yo mama is so big that her toes are receding away from her head at super-luminal velocities.

 

[IMP]

Yo mama is so big that her toes are receding away from her head at super-luminal velocities.

Yo mama is so big, she doesn't paint her toenails, they are red-shifted.

 

[Dr Lots-o'watts]

Yo mama so big she don't need no leash, her dog's on orbit.

Yo mama talks so fast her face is Lorentz-contracted.

Yo mama's food's so repulsive it hovers.

Yo mama's so fat when she moves, her skin has harmonics.

Yo mama has so much inertia, she's still at rest.

Yo mama's so heavy, when they put her on the shuttle, it went BACKWARDS!

Yo mama's so broke, she's been classified as a quasicrystal.

Yo mama's so massive her farts are recorded by the LIGO.

 

[Dr Lots-o'watts]

Yo mama gets so mad meteors slow down and wait.

Yo mama emits so much gas she has monthly carbon bill.

Yo mama's so cold she sweats helium.

Yo mama's so wide she has to diffract out the door.

Yo mama's so strange they named a quark after her.

Yo mama's so big they use Hubble's telescope backwards to take a picture.

Yo mama's so heavy they had to inflate her car's tires with lead.

Yo mama's so heavy when she drives, she needs to get towed.

Yo mama's so ugly they named a element after her.

Yo mama's so old she has to carbon date herself.

 

[Newai]

*cries*

 

[PRodQuanta]

Yo mama's so fat, her thighs Generate an symmetry operation on a transformation of spacetime that doesn't result in a physical observable...

-PR

 

[Lancelot59]

Your mama's so fat the fat collapsed into a singularity and made her look good.

 

[Max™]

From the wrong thread:

Yo mama's so fat, she's got an event horizon.

Yo mama's so fat, tightening her belt causes her to drop below her Schwarzschild Radius.

Yo mama's so fat, it took a team of Astrophysicists years of carefully measuring the distortion of light arriving from galaxies on the far side of her gravity well in order to calculate her mass.

 

[lisab]

Yo mama is so bright, she could make the sun cast a shadow.

Little different twist

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Yo mama is so bright, she could make the sun cast a shadow.

Little different twist

Yo mama has done so much work supporting your sorry butt that that she was classified as a public utility.

 

[Lancelot59]

Yo mama has done so much work supporting your sorry butt that that she was classified as a public utility.

Can be cut to:

Yo mama was classified as a public utility.

Commence laughing at the dirty joke.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Commence laughing at the dirty joke.

When you were born, the obstetrician took one look, and instead of slapping yo bottom, he slapped yo mama.

 

[Lancelot59]

When you were born, the obstetrician took one look, and instead of slapping yo bottom, he slapped yo mama.

Is that even a real form of medical practitioner?