Collection of Lame Jokes

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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #1,786
The animals at the zoo have been gossiping about the latest arrival: "Can you believe what the new gnu knew?!"
 
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  • #1,787
How does a dairy cow go when it sneaks off the farm ?

Pasturize
 
  • #1,788
What do neutrinos wear when they ride horses?

massless chaps
 
  • #1,789
QuarkCharmer said:
What do neutrinos wear when they ride horses?

massless chaps

Oh.

I didn't get it at first, so I Googled the phrase.

I got it. I got retinal scarring is what I got.

Thank you QuarkCharmer for that.

:yuck:
 
  • #1,790
DaveC426913 said:
Oh.

I didn't get it at first, so I Googled the phrase.

I got it. I got retinal scarring is what I got.

Thank you QuarkCharmer for that.

:yuck:

I didn't think that anyone would have to google that one!
 
  • #1,791
why do we drive on the parkway and park on a driveway?
i think that one technically belongs to the stupidest questions.
 
  • #1,792
What's the difference between an accordian and an onion ?

Nobody's going to cry if you cut an accordian into tiny pieces.
 
  • #1,793
QuarkCharmer said:
I didn't think that anyone would have to google that one!
I know what they are, I just didn't make the connection. Obvious in retrospect.
 
  • #1,794
QuarkCharmer said:
What do neutrinos wear when they ride horses?

massless chaps

:rofl:...hilarious...!
 
  • #1,795
368635_460s.jpg



369309_460s.jpg



PS: Is there any lame pics thread? Anyway if I'm ruining this thread with these pics, please let me know!o:)
 
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  • #1,796
A neutrino was arrested for exceeding the speed limit recently, but they had to let it go...

...:rolleyes:
 
  • #1,797
I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there are decimal points involved.
 
  • #1,798
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
Just "The Doctor".


--------


zombie kitteh sez: i can has brains?
 
  • #1,799
I saw this on a professor's office door today and probably laughed more than most would
http://halloween.tipjunkie.com/wp-content/halloween-thumbs/if-the-broom-fits-ride-it-printable.jpg [Broken]
 
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  • #1,800
With the new iPhone out, we can expect Siri to contribute a lot of lame jokes. Here are a couple that I've read about recently:

Q: Can you tell me a bad joke?

Siri: Two iPhones walk into a bar ... I forget the rest.

-----

Q: How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?

Siri: 42 cords.

-----

Q: Who's on first?

Siri: That's right.
 
  • #1,801
jtbell said:
With the new iPhone out, we can expect Siri to contribute a lot of lame jokes. Here are a couple that I've read about recently:

Q: Can you tell me a bad joke?

Siri: Two iPhones walk into a bar ... I forget the rest.

-----

Q: How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?

Siri: 42 cords.

-----

Q: Who's on first?

Siri: That's right.

There's already a website for this stuff:
http://garbagesirisays.com/ [Broken]

[PLAIN]http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltdn1zVpNe1r4h7kbo1_500.png[PLAIN]http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltdy96kEZm1r4h7kbo1_500.png [Broken] [Broken]
 
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  • #1,802
When a blind person touches sandpaper, do they interpet static ?
 
  • #1,803
Isaacsname said:
When a blind person touches sandpaper, do they interpet static ?

That's a bit rough - even coarse - and quite abrasive.
 
  • #1,804
WhoWee said:
That's a bit rough - even coarse - and quite abrasive.

Apologies then, I never meant to rub you the wrong way.
 
  • #1,805
Isaacsname said:
Apologies then, I never meant to rub you the wrong way.

No worries - hardly scratched the surface.
 
  • #1,806
WhoWee said:
No worries - hardly scratched the surface.

Now that that has been smoothed over, let's tell a joke.
 
  • #1,808
For the love of science, STOP!

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRKoOcLVNTkrnaCbB0qwrV_uamH7PH_kwJnM5yNB7m0mbvOXg7BpL8rshW4fQ.jpg

(Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/-jon-/2239916961/)
 
  • #1,809
Impressive banter above.
 
  • #1,810
FlexGunship said:
For the love of science, STOP!

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRKoOcLVNTkrnaCbB0qwrV_uamH7PH_kwJnM5yNB7m0mbvOXg7BpL8rshW4fQ.jpg

(Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/-jon-/2239916961/)


I guess NOW we all know what the sandpaper would sound like?
 
  • #1,811
Lancelot59 said:
Now that that has been smoothed over, let's tell a joke.

:rofl:
 
  • #1,812
You guys are going to wear me down if this keeps up.
 
  • #1,813
Isaacsname said:
You guys are going to wear me down if this keeps up.

Sorry, I didn't mean to grind on your nerves.
 
  • #1,814
I don't recall any joke that was polished that long
 
  • #1,815
Isaacsname said:
You guys are going to wear me down if this keeps up.

Illegitimi non carborundum.
 
  • #1,816
This thread goes against the grain of anything decent.
 
  • #1,817
Whats Mork from Ork's favorite SI unit ?

The Nanoometer
 
  • #1,818
Isaacsname said:
Whats Mork from Ork's favorite SI unit ?

The Nanoometer

What's Mike Tyson's favorite unit of mass?

The slug.
 
  • #1,819
A sheet of paper wraps around a bar...
 
  • #1,820
Isaacsname said:
Whats Mork from Ork's favorite SI unit ?

The Nanoometer
lololz
 

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