Collection of Lame Jokes

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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #3,536
Borg said:
You mean "without brakes"? :oldwink:
Ooups! Typo, or mispelling. Thanks!
Stavros Kiri said:
because it has no breaks!
Out of edit time. Fixing here:
Stavros Kiri said:
because it has no brakes!

+ (edit) thanks to mentor who fixed the original too.
 
Last edited:
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #3,537
The CBS Morning News had a report today on the Oakland Raiders football team's forthcoming move to Las Vegas:

"The Arc of the Lost Raiders"
 
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  • #3,538
jtbell said:
The CBS Morning News had a report today on the Oakland Raiders football team's forthcoming move to Las Vegas:

"The Arc of the Lost Raiders"
You mean "Ark"?
With ark it will take them forever to get there ..., + on dry land?! ... It would be better if they had money to buy plane tickets! ...
 
  • #3,539
This one I think is by Jay Leno.

Did you hear about the TSA's new slogan? "We handle more junk than eBay!"
 
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  • #3,540
Recently in a bar:
"A beer, please!"
"Non-alcoholic?"
"No, just lactose-free."
"Are you kidding?"
"And who began with?"
 
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  • #3,541
haha ... I suspect there's a lot of us guys that could relate to that :smile:

Job at Airbus.jpg
 
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  • #3,542
"Welcome to Tesla Motors! How can I help?"
"I'd like to talk to you about the Prius in your exhibition."
"There is no Prius in our exhibition."
"Well, ... now there is."
 
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  • #3,543
something else a lot of guys can relate to :wink::wink:

17795678_10154576402842449_4901514011384489562_n.jpg
 
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  • #3,544
davenn said:
something else a lot of guys can relate to :wink::wink:

View attachment 120705
(way prior to that) Watch out for the first sign! It usually starts by telling them to sleep on the couch, ... which is actually just one step before the door! ...
... the usual excuse being that the other fancy dog or the kids sleep in the bedroom now with "mom"! ...
 
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  • #3,545
frog with hyperdrive.jpg
 
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  • #3,546
fresh_42 said:
"Welcome to Tesla Motors! How can I help?"
"I'd like to talk to you about the Prius in your exhibition."
"There is no Prius in our exhibition."
"Well, ... now there is."
Is that the new "low pressure" way to get rid of your old car?
 
  • #3,547
So my 15 year old today asked me where did "god" come from?
I simple told him to google the Boltzmann brain
 
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  • #3,548
No words
 
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  • #3,549
What do you call a rabbit with piles and piles of Easter eggs?

A billion-hare.
 
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  • #3,550
hsdrop said:
So my 15 year old today asked me where did "god" come from?
I simple told him to google the Boltzmann brain
I thought google was the god ... . Could it also be a Boltzmann brain? Could we too?
 
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  • #3,551
17799904_453393961671862_5520468172764554208_n.jpg
 
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  • #3,552
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side...
You know what Martha?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.


"I'm beginning to think you're bad luck."
 
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  • #3,553
I told my friend, that my mom doesn't hear very well. He should speak slowly and loud.
I told my mom, my friend is mentally a bit behind.
Now let's have fun!
 
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  • #3,554
Now that the Easter Bunny has finished his big gig for the year, where will he go for vacation?

Grand Rabbits, Michigan.
 
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  • #3,555
easter-bunny-comic.jpg
 
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  • #3,556
Easter in Louisiana

17991215_1163206437140990_5568740658935116194_n.jpg
 
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  • #3,557
davenn said:
Easter in Louisiana

View attachment 195184
i'm guessing that bunny eat all the eggs instead of hiding them lol
 
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  • #3,558
That bunny incubates its eggs, but if they get too hot they all turn male!
 
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  • #3,559
hsdrop said:
i'm guessing that bunny eat all the eggs instead of hiding them lol
BillTre said:
That bunny incubates its eggs, but if they get too hot they all turn male!

and on top of all that, it's got to be the ugliest bunny I have ever seen hahaha
 
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  • #3,560
It's the Easter Gator!
 
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  • #3,561
davenn said:
Easter in Louisiana

View attachment 195184

That is literally the cutest bunny I have every seen.
 
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  • #3,562
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  • #3,563
Buffu said:
That is literally the cutest bunny I have every seen.

well, as they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder :smile:
 
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  • #3,564
davenn said:
and on top of all that, it's got to be the ugliest bunny I have ever seen hahaha
I don't think it's a bunny ... :smile:
 
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  • #3,565
What I would like to know is how they put that bunny ear thing around its head without losing at least a finger.
 
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  • #3,566
I'm sure that the set of tricks alligator handlers have would include these observations of that photo:

There's a black strap around its muzzle. They have strong closing bites, but weak opening muscles.
Its tail is being held.
Its costume can be snapped on.

and Maybe lowering its body temperature would make it more docile.
 
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  • #3,567
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  • #3,569
nuuskur said:
What I would like to know is how they put that bunny ear thing around its head without losing at least a finger.
This is a particularly smart gator. He figures that by letting himself be disguised as a bunny, he can sneak up on more of them for lunch, so he did not object to the costume.
 
  • #3,570
phinds said:
This is a particularly smart gator. He figures that by letting himself be disguised as a bunny, he can sneak up on more of them for lunch, so he did not object to the costume.
I don't think that he accomplished this on his own. He must have had some gator-aide.
 
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