- #1
ephedyn
- 170
- 1
So, I think my best friend has the misconception that I'm in love with her.
About a month ago I don't know why but I told her that maybe I liked her. She laughed it off but didn't have a reply so I keep persisting, and she was like, "okay I love you." But I take it that maybe neither of us meant it seriously - we didn't raise it ever again.
Now, we're seriously very close - just a few days earlier we had a misunderstanding and I had a feeling that she was lying to me about something, so I confronted her, telling her that I won't accept any of my friends lying to me over trivial matters, because it defeats the purpose of me listening to them. And so she explicitly swore to me that she will never hide anything from me. I decided to give it a rest and say I'll trust her more than anyone in this world.
Just 2 days ago, I called her, and we talked on the phone for something like 20 minutes, and I was on the verge of crying (I'm having a tough time, I'm in my freshman year and I'm in senior level courses; and I feel disconnected from a purpose in what I'm doing because I suddenly don't feel that physics is my calling - I've always known that it involves a lot of grunt work, but it is only now that I feel like a spectator to my activity, and things occur to me in profound ways.) In the end she said she was sorry because she had to get off the bus - that she'll call back the next day (she gave me a time that was 17 hours from now - seriously?)
And of course she didn't. Now I wasn't bothered by that at all - I only remembered some half a day after the time she had promised to call. But I had something interesting to discuss with her by that moment, so I decided to message her and ask if she was free to talk - and I made a dig at how she forgot to call me.
She didn't get back to me for an hour, so I decided to call her up. The tone was ringing, but no one picked up. I thought I'd just give it a try and keep calling on and off for the next 2 hours, and I left more messages starting on what I wanted to say. No reply.
And maybe I shouldn't have done this but, for that moment, I felt some distrust, asked my friend (whom she doesn't know) to call her at the same time and see if she would pick up. And she did.
And so she ignored my "missed" calls for another half a day until she finally said she was sorry she didn't answer because she wasn't paying attention to her phone all this time. I decided not to confront her, so I said I was OK with it, but that I felt she was giving me the cold shoulder, and asked if I offended her somewhere. She told me that she's tired, to give her a break.
It's kind of ironic that it's precisely because of an act of distrust that uncovered her lie.
(1) Why is she ignoring my calls? That's not even logical. It has obviously higher payoff for both of us if she had even just replied saying that she's busy.
(2) Why did she have to lie about something so silly?
(3) What should I do? Confront? Pretend it didn't happen? I'm scared to lose this friendship.
About a month ago I don't know why but I told her that maybe I liked her. She laughed it off but didn't have a reply so I keep persisting, and she was like, "okay I love you." But I take it that maybe neither of us meant it seriously - we didn't raise it ever again.
Now, we're seriously very close - just a few days earlier we had a misunderstanding and I had a feeling that she was lying to me about something, so I confronted her, telling her that I won't accept any of my friends lying to me over trivial matters, because it defeats the purpose of me listening to them. And so she explicitly swore to me that she will never hide anything from me. I decided to give it a rest and say I'll trust her more than anyone in this world.
Just 2 days ago, I called her, and we talked on the phone for something like 20 minutes, and I was on the verge of crying (I'm having a tough time, I'm in my freshman year and I'm in senior level courses; and I feel disconnected from a purpose in what I'm doing because I suddenly don't feel that physics is my calling - I've always known that it involves a lot of grunt work, but it is only now that I feel like a spectator to my activity, and things occur to me in profound ways.) In the end she said she was sorry because she had to get off the bus - that she'll call back the next day (she gave me a time that was 17 hours from now - seriously?)
And of course she didn't. Now I wasn't bothered by that at all - I only remembered some half a day after the time she had promised to call. But I had something interesting to discuss with her by that moment, so I decided to message her and ask if she was free to talk - and I made a dig at how she forgot to call me.
She didn't get back to me for an hour, so I decided to call her up. The tone was ringing, but no one picked up. I thought I'd just give it a try and keep calling on and off for the next 2 hours, and I left more messages starting on what I wanted to say. No reply.
And maybe I shouldn't have done this but, for that moment, I felt some distrust, asked my friend (whom she doesn't know) to call her at the same time and see if she would pick up. And she did.
And so she ignored my "missed" calls for another half a day until she finally said she was sorry she didn't answer because she wasn't paying attention to her phone all this time. I decided not to confront her, so I said I was OK with it, but that I felt she was giving me the cold shoulder, and asked if I offended her somewhere. She told me that she's tired, to give her a break.
It's kind of ironic that it's precisely because of an act of distrust that uncovered her lie.
(1) Why is she ignoring my calls? That's not even logical. It has obviously higher payoff for both of us if she had even just replied saying that she's busy.
(2) Why did she have to lie about something so silly?
(3) What should I do? Confront? Pretend it didn't happen? I'm scared to lose this friendship.