Politics & Marriage: Chad's Stance

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In summary: I wanted to get married because it was traditional, but I didn't really like the person I was marrying, I would be a fool because now I'm stuck with them. If you want to get married because it is a religious thing, that's one thing. But if you want to get married because it is a tradition, then you should be willing to go along with the person you're marrying, even if you don't like them. I think that it is at this point that one must remember the difference between the religious cerimony and the legal status recognised by the sate. Seperation of church and state demands that the state cannot force the church to recognise a gay couple as
  • #1
Peter Pan
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Howdy all,

There is an issue in the political arena currently that I don’t understand. I will start by introducing myself and then my stance on this issue.

I am a fair minded American republican. I am not gay or a gay activist even, but the issue of gay marriage is baffling to me. I say let them get married and share the same freedoms and benefits that straight couples have.

What I gather from polls, is that my stance on this issue is in the minority. Yet, I have never met someone who was able to explain to me the other side of the ball.

Please respond if you are on either side of the issue at hand. I will reserve my own thoughts until a debate has begun.

Chad
 
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  • #2
hmmm the only thing i can think of is that the act of marriage is traditionally i religious thing. Probably still is. Anyway, in Christianity, homosexuality is abhorred and is classed as sinful (i think) so in the eyes of the church, homosexuality is blasphemy and to allow it to continue into marriage would be EXTREMELY blasphemous. I may be wrong...
 
  • #3
Jimmy, are you opposed to gay marriage? Just want to know.
 
  • #4
The only argument people really seem to have is that marriage is traditionally between a man and a woman.

Of course, "tradition" is just an argument people fall back on when they don't have a good reason to oppose something. "That's the way it's always been" isn't much of an argument.


All the other arugments are based on the assumption that homosexuals are immoral. Since I haven't seen a good argument for that either, I wouldn't give those arguments much consideration.
 
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  • #5
My thoughts exactly. It just drives me crazy that fair minded people are not in a majoritly in this country
 
  • #6
It's about time. Now gay & lesbian partner's can gain the same benefits reserved only for married couples. Also, now they will have the same legal divorce battles.
 
  • #7
those who have issues with gay marriage are in a round-about way are inflicting their morals on others...gay marriage does not hurt another person, that is how it should be looked at...
 
  • #8
I think Jimmy has the right of it, it's mostly a matter of marriage being a "relious institution".

Originally posted by master_coda
The only argument people really seem to have is that marriage is traditionally between a man and a woman.

Of course, "tradition" is just an argument people fall back on when they don't have a good reason to oppose something. "That's the way it's always been" isn't much of an argument.

Here I disagree somewhat. I think that tradition is as valid a reason as any if the act in question is nothing but "tradition" to begin with. After all, why do people get married at all? Tradition.

I think that it is at this point that one must remember the difference between the religious cerimony and the legal status recognised by the sate. Seperation of church and state demands that the state cannot force the church to recognise a gay couple as "married in the eyes of God", but niether can the Church dictate their legal status. Just as the Church cannot dictate how two cohabitating women can file their tax returns, so the state cannot order the Church to perform the wedding cerimony between them.

It is here that one's definition of "married" comes into play. If, as has been said earlier in this Topic, it is an issue of getting all the same "benifits reserved only for married couples" (and I assume we're talking legal benefits here), then it should be enough for the gay community that the state recognises them and affords them thjose rigths. If people begin to protest the Church for refusing to recognise such a relationship as "marriage" in the relious sence, then it will be obvious that the gaining of rights was not the real motive here.

If I insisit that I be allowed to live my life as I choose (so long as I'm not harming anyone), then I am fighting for my rights. If I insist that others approve of my lifestyle, even though it runs contrary to their beliefs, then I become the oppresor, the bigot who cannot suffer anyone to think thoughts that are opposed to my own view. This is a pitfall for both sides.
 
  • #9
Originally posted by LURCH
Here I disagree somewhat. I think that tradition is as valid a reason as any if the act in question is nothing but "tradition" to begin with. After all, why do people get married at all? Tradition.

Anyone who gets married just because of tradition is a fool. If you have good reasons other than tradition to get married, then you don't need tradition to back you up, you have good reasons. On the other hand, if the best reason two people can think of to get married is tradition, they should reconsider before making such a major decision for such a frivolous reason.


Originally posted by LURCH
I think that it is at this point that one must remember the difference between the religious cerimony and the legal status recognised by the sate. Seperation of church and state demands that the state cannot force the church to recognise a gay couple as "married in the eyes of God", but niether can the Church dictate their legal status. Just as the Church cannot dictate how two cohabitating women can file their tax returns, so the state cannot order the Church to perform the wedding cerimony between them.

It is here that one's definition of "married" comes into play. If, as has been said earlier in this Topic, it is an issue of getting all the same "benifits reserved only for married couples" (and I assume we're talking legal benefits here), then it should be enough for the gay community that the state recognises them and affords them thjose rigths. If people begin to protest the Church for refusing to recognise such a relationship as "marriage" in the relious sence, then it will be obvious that the gaining of rights was not the real motive here.

If I insisit that I be allowed to live my life as I choose (so long as I'm not harming anyone), then I am fighting for my rights. If I insist that others approve of my lifestyle, even though it runs contrary to their beliefs, then I become the oppresor, the bigot who cannot suffer anyone to think thoughts that are opposed to my own view. This is a pitfall for both sides.

This is a good point, but has little to do with the current issue of gay marriage. Obviously, churches should not be forced to carry out marriages if they don't want to. But that's hardly what's on the table.

I would also contend that marriage is not intrinsically a religous institution. Churches make their own versions of marriage that incorporate religion, but the core concepts of marriage have little to do with religion.

Also, saying that we cannot force others to accept a point of view without violating their rights is rather vague. What does it mean for someone to "accept"? I've seen it argued that by even just allowing gay civil unions, Christians are being forced to implicitly accept homosexuality and so their rights are being violated.
 
  • #10
With the birth of Gay Marriage, we will soon have the Gay Divorcee (1934...Fred Astaire...Ginger Rogers...never mind :smile: )
 
  • #11
Originally posted by LURCH


If I insisit that I be allowed to live my life as I choose (so long as I'm not harming anyone), then I am fighting for my rights. If I insist that others approve of my lifestyle, even though it runs contrary to their beliefs, then I become the oppresor, the bigot who cannot suffer anyone to think thoughts that are opposed to my own view. This is a pitfall for both sides.
I don't understand what this means, even though I have heard this argument before. Who is forcing straight people to 'approve' of homosexuality?
 
  • #12
I am not against Gay marriage...in fact i believe that marriage in general is a little old fashioned!
 
  • #13
I would disagree that marriage is strictly a religious thing. Marriage has been around since before the time of Christ. Ancient Egyptians were wed, Indians have dowries, the Japanese, a culture historically void of religion, take wives. All these different cultures have different marriage ceremonies.


If I insist that others approve of my lifestyle, even though it runs contrary to their beliefs, then I become the oppresor, the bigot who cannot suffer anyone to think thoughts that are opposed to my own view

Dr. MLK insisted people approve of his skin color. I think gays can do the same. Some equalities are natural to fight for. The equal treatment of gays I believe falls under that category. We should not only be tolerant of their lifestyle, but accept it.
 
  • #14
Originally posted by LURCH
I think Jimmy has the right of it, it's mostly a matter of marriage being a "relious institution".
Is it? Maybe in the US, but certainly not everywhere. And who says that marriages can only take place in a church? The state also performs marriages, which have the same legal status. It is thus logic that the state shouldn't discriminate and allow both homo- and heterosexual marriages.
 
  • #15
Originally posted by Kerrie
those who have issues with gay marriage are in a round-about way are inflicting their morals on others...
Don't kid yourself - that's what all laws are about.

And religion - this is an issue where there are both legal and religious/moral implications. That makes it a real toughie for the government to deal with. But it has to have a position.

Polygamy anyone?
 
  • #16
Originally posted by russ_watters


Polygamy anyone?
Sure...for the kids, of course!
 
  • #17
Polygamy anyone?

You just pointed out my only reservation for supporting gay marriage. Where should the line be drawn? If gays can be married, then why can’t a man take more than one wife.

I don’t actually know any polygamist, but from what I have read, the communities are not very mentally healthy. Women seem forced into polygamist marriages.
 
  • #18
So that is why democracy was invented :)
 
  • #19
Originally posted by jimmy p
hmmm the only thing i can think of is that the act of marriage is traditionally i religious thing. Probably still is. Anyway, in Christianity, homosexuality is abhorred and is classed as sinful (i think) so in the eyes of the church, homosexuality is blasphemy and to allow it to continue into marriage would be EXTREMELY blasphemous. I may be wrong...


In some christian churches. But then again forty years ago interracial marriage was looked at as an abomination. And they came up with Bible verses to support their cause.

But there are churches, christian churches that not only support the gay community, but perform gay marriages.

So to the people who don't support gay marriages, why should the government only recognize marriages from bigoted churches and not progressive churches?

And to the people who think allowing gays to marry is an infringement on your right to be a homophobe- I think bigotry is an abomination and morally reprehensible, but you don't see me telling you that you can't get married, do you?
 
  • #20
...still thinking that marriage is old-fashioned...

Anyway when i said religious i didnt JUST mean christian and in the US, its just that i happen to know the christian side of things because i live in a christian country (not the US!). I don't care who gets married to what!

Polygamy...no thanks, some people say bigomy is one wife too many. Then again, most men say that about monogomy!
 
  • #21
Tell you what, I'll offer you a trade, I'll read this thread, you read the one below...enjoy!
Church V state
 
  • #22
Marriage is a "structured ritual"...so is religion, they make a natural pair, and have, from long past.

Just watched a news report on 'Gay week' at Whistler B.C. (I don't recall if it is called 'exactly' that, but it is what is happening there, as tourism, so...) and that that was exactly why one of the couples had come there, from Virginia, to get married...now, legally, they are not married, in Virginia, hence what they are really looking for is the "Right to the Rite"/Ritual" (?)
 
  • #23
sociobiology? religion and tradition just codified biology?

How about polyandry?

Though rich and varied, the many thousands of cultures that our dear cousins have developed over thousands of years follow, on average, the sociobiological rules which E. O. Wilson began to explore before he was attacked give a pretty good framework for understanding the Pavlovian responses of the religious right (or is it Right?) in the US.

Forget not the words of forensic accountants - follow the money. If 'the state' would now have to give social security payments to the survivor in a gay marriage, wouldn't that make it even more difficult for Snow to continue doing his snow job?
 
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  • #24
Well, I think that marriage has more history being polygamous than monogamous, so then monogamous marriage goes against tradition, so it should be outlawed. Oh, what's that? Society has changed, you say? Well, it's time for society to change again. It's time to cast away yet another unjustified restriction.

master_coda had it right when he said that "tradition" is just a non-argument that you fall back on when you have no real substance to back up your position.

Chemcialsuperfreak made an excellent point when he noted that interracial marriage used to be taboo.

Some say that society should define marriage, and then they appeal to democratic ideals. We live in a Constitutional country, and that's good. That makes it a lot harder for a majority to take away the rights and priveleges of a minority.

There is absolutely no justified reason for opposing homosexual marriage. There is nothing immoral about homosexuality.

The religious right should want homosexual marriage in order to promote monogamous relationships, right?

As far as polygamy goes, as long as it goes both ways and is not used as a tool for one sex to dominate the other, I have no problem with it.
 
  • #25
Originally posted by Peter Pan
You just pointed out my only reservation for supporting gay marriage. Where should the line be drawn? If gays can be married, then why can’t a man take more than one wife.

I don’t actually know any polygamist, but from what I have read, the communities are not very mentally healthy. Women seem forced into polygamist marriages.
Who says it isn't two men and a woman? Three guys, two chicks, and 5 frigging incomes coming into one big house...and think of the children! 10 grandparents!
 
  • #26
Who says it isn't two men and a woman? Three guys, two chicks, and 5 frigging incomes coming into one big house...and think of the children! 10 grandparents!

I don’t want this discussion to turn into a debate about polygamy. The only reason I commented on the subject was to make a point on were to draw a line. If all parties are willing, I have no problem with it. But, from what I have read and seen, polygamy is seldom the fore-mentioned.

I want to challenge the fact that marriage by definition is a religious act. People have been getting married long before the coming of Christ or even ancient Judaism. The only reason that gay marriage is opposed in the US currently is that we have a lot of dinosaurs that don’t understand the lifestyle nor want to learn and tolerate. I think in the next 15 years, as us young people become the majority gay marriage will not be even an issue in anybody’s mind.

I am still waiting for someone to give a view different from nearly every post on this thread. I can promise that you will not be ouster sized for your opposite opinion. I just want to hear the other side of the story no matter what the reason. Any, as always, is valid!

Pan
 
  • #27
I want to challenge the fact that marriage by definition is a religious act. People have been getting married long before the coming of Christ or even ancient Judaism.
And people did, and still do, get 'married' in societies free from christianity. Marriage is a social institution; its purpose was - and largely still is - to do with reproduction.
The only reason that gay marriage is opposed in the US currently is that we have a lot of dinosaurs that don’t understand the lifestyle nor want to learn and tolerate.
Not so. Many of the opponents are genuinely disgusted and shocked at the idea of gay marriage, for a variety of reasons. Their emotions are quite real. However, there's also a financial aspect; 'marriage' is also a legal concept, and gives certain rights and duties to those who are married (and who are not). The $value of those rights and duties is enormous.
 
  • #28
Originally posted by Dissident Dan
Well, I think that marriage has more history being polygamous than monogamous, so then monogamous marriage goes against tradition, so it should be outlawed. So you just 'make it up' and therefore it should apply HUH?? what?? Oh, what's that? Society has changed, you say? Well, it's time for society to change again. It's time to cast away yet another unjustified restriction.

master_coda had it right when he said that "tradition" is just a non-argument that you fall back on when you have no real substance to back up your position. What comedy, the tradition is the substance, repetition of an 'event style' over time, substantive acceptance by traditional use, hence Historically substantiated
Chemcialsuperfreak made an excellent point when he noted that interracial marriage used to be taboo. Not everywhere...
Some say that society should define marriage, and then they appeal to democratic ideals. We live in a Constitutional country, and that's good. That makes it a lot harder for a majority to take away the rights and priveleges of a minority.
There is absolutely no justified reason for opposing homosexual marriage. There is nothing immoral about homosexuality. Someone who is oppposed to Homosexual marriage need not be against homosexuality, that is simply the (erroneous) generalization that you are making...
The religious right should want homosexual marriage in order to promote monogamous relationships, right?
As far as polygamy goes, as long as it goes both ways and is not used as a tool for one sex to dominate the other, I have no problem with it.
It is about the differentiation of a societal viewpoint wherein, one supports the idea of marriage, as it is supporting of the children, by way of reproduction, unassisted by the State, whereas as ALL homosexual, or lesbian, couplings, must have an interventive method of reproduction either State of Societal, but they cannot do it on there own, Male/female couplings can...hence the differetiation between the actuallities of the state/status of (the) marriage...O.K.?
 
  • #29
You guys act as though animal husbandry is the most vital aspect of modern human interaction...

...sometimes I seriously believe that Christians are a step down in evolution, and they want the rest of us to join them in their barely-human status.
 
  • #30
Originally posted by Zero
You guys act as though animal husbandry is the most vital aspect of modern human interaction... More like, "where the tax dollars get spent"...

...sometimes I seriously believe that Christians are a step down in evolution, and they want the rest of us to join them in their barely-human status.
"And Be thou separate..." (unless your afraid..)
 
  • #31
legally, marriage has it's benefits...here in america, you don't have to be wed by the church...

example: you have found the perfect mate-whether they are the same gender or not...if something were to happen to your mate-say an accident, or medical condition that required another sound mind to make decisions based on what your mate would want, who has the right to make that decision? legally, the next of kin (mother, father, brother, sister, etc) if you are not "legally tied" to your mate...this is not old fashioned in my opinion, but i would much rather have my fiance make these decisions of me over my family as my family doesn't know me as well as he does...

another: health insurance and other benefits...if one is working outside the home and has the ability to obtain these, but the other does not work "outside the home" (because s/he is self-employed, or takes care of children, etc), what about the benefits of covering the other mate?

aside from the whole morality issue with the church, i think LEGAL marriage should be defined as accepting the responsibilities and benefits of another (over age 18) until both choose to end that contract (Divorce)...

i won't even touch the polygamy issue...

Russ~
Don't kid yourself - that's what all laws are about.

laws should only be concerned with protecting the rights of others, not interfering with what people choose to do with their own life...ie: murder, stealing, etc...
 
  • #32
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Someone who is oppposed to Homosexual marriage need not be against homosexuality, that is simply the (erroneous) generalization that you are making...

You find me one person who is not anti-homosexuality but is anti-homosexual marriage.
 
  • #33
Originally posted by Dissident Dan
You find me one person who is not anti-homosexuality but is anti-homosexual marriage.
Hi! My name is (as you seemed to have missed it) Mr. Robin Parsons...and BTW I am NOT against them having the same rights, legally, with respect to pensions, health, etc. etc. just the word, (and institution?) of Marriage! as it is meant to be for the purpose of protecting couples, as towards "procreation", something that Gay couples, Lesbian, or Homosexual, cannot do without outside help...a violation of the intent of the 'Sanctity' of marriage, and the 'monogamy' of marriage, the vows, love, honor...
 
  • #34
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Hi! My name is (as you seemed to have missed it) Mr. Robin Parsons...and BTW I am NOT against them having the same rights, legally, with respect to pensions, health, etc. etc. just the word, (and institution?) of Marriage! as it is meant to be for the purpose of protecting couples, as towards "procreation", something that Gay couples, Lesbian, or Homosexual, cannot do without outside help...a violation of the intent of the 'Sanctity' of marriage, and the 'monogamy' of marriage, the vows, love, honor...
Neither you nor the government is allowed to define or enforce "sanctity".
 
  • #35
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
as towards "procreation", something that Gay couples, Lesbian, or Homosexual, cannot do without outside help

I don't see anyone clamoring for fertility tests for heterosexual couples seeking marriage. They can't have children without help either.

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
a violation of the intent of the 'Sanctity' of marriage, and the 'monogamy' of marriage, the vows, love, honor...

None of these attributes of marriage have anything to do with being straight or gay. Or even having children for that matter. How would a gay marriage have less vows, less love, less honour?
 

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