I want to give advice where are all your relationship problems?

  • Thread starter nucleargirl
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In summary: If you can't or don't want to be friends with her then maybe it's not meant to be. So you want to make her happy by not dealing with the problem and letting her waste her time on you when she could be trying to find someone else? If she's your friend, and by that I mean someone that you'd like to keep in your life than I'd suggest the next time she "makes a move" gently tell her that you see her as just a friend and if she is indeed your friend she'll accept...If you can't or don't want to be friends with her then maybe it's not meant to be.
  • #36


Jack, are you a virgin?
 
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  • #37


I need dating advice! My problem is that I can't find a girl that I actually want to date. All the ones I meet fall under one of these categories:

1. astonishingly stupid
2. religious
3. has children
4. >50 bmi
5. only goals in life are to get hammered and be rich
6. a combination of the above

So where can a bachelor go to meet smart ambitious girls that don't fall into one of the above categories?
 
  • #38


Topher925 said:
I need dating advice! My problem is that I can't find a girl that I actually want to date. All the ones I meet fall under one of these categories:

1. astonishingly stupid
2. religious
3. has children
4. >50 bmi
5. only goals in life are to get hammered and be rich
6. a combination of the above

So where can a bachelor go to meet smart ambitious girls that don't fall into one of the above categories?

Fantasy Land?

In all seriousness though there isn't exactly a place where you can meet gorgeous young woman with a solid path to a good career. Your just going to have to keep on looking until you find "that gem".
 
  • #39


cronxeh said:
Jack, are you a virgin?

Why don't you offer something constructive then that's better than what I suggested if his goal is to just meet her and talk to her, and not have sex as quick as possible.
 
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  • #40


Topher925 said:
5. only goals in life are to get hammered and be rich

Why are you ruling out 99% of the human race?
 
  • #41


jackmell said:
Why don't you offer something constructive that may be helpful to him, and if it involves criticizing me then just do it for goodness sake rather than beat around the bush.

I like your advise and I agree with most of it, but it will land him in the friendzone. If she hasn't noticed him yet, he has to be noticed by her. She has to be pursuing him in her mind even if she doesn't show it. At high school level this is best done by either being a prep or a jock. Cultivating multiple female friendships and being 'seen' hanging out with them while the particular girl in question is in the viewing angle. She has to notice you, think about you and then initiate the contact.

By chasing her, you are likely to either end up in friendzone or simply waste so much time/energy/money trying to serenade an already horny teenager.
 
  • #42


Office_Shredder said:
Why are you ruling out 99% of the human race?

I dunno, probably cause I don't like to tolerate that 99% of the human race.
 
  • #43


ahem... this post was deleted cos it might cause some offence to the above poster... sorry! don't mean to freak you out! I'll stop!
 
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  • #44


...:( nobody's posting anymore...
I could start a monologue! but it would make me look even more sad...
everyone's probably got interesting things to do in their lives... well I dont! not right now! I'm not in the mood!
 
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  • #45


Topher925 said:
I need dating advice! My problem is that I can't find a girl that I actually want to date. All the ones I meet fall under one of these categories:

1. astonishingly stupid
2. religious
3. has children
4. >50 bmi
5. only goals in life are to get hammered and be rich
6. a combination of the above

So where can a bachelor go to meet smart ambitious girls that don't fall into one of the above categories?

(1) What's wrong with stupid as long as she has a smokin' bod?

(2) . . . ugh . . . does she have a nice bod?

(3) How many, how long ago, and what's her bod look like now?

(4) . . . no comment.

(5) . . . ugh . . . what were we talkin' aboub?

I'm jokin' of course, I mean women are more than just bodies anyway. I could think of a bunch other nice things they're good for. So my advice to finding smart, attractive, healthy, ambitious, strong women is go to college. If you're out of school, then hey how about a course or two for fun.

Also, gotta' lot of women in those writing forums. Yeah, they like to write and all. I guess that could happen. The club thing is a bad thing huh? Yeah, maybe so. How about on-line in one of the umteen sites people get together explicitly for relationships?
 
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  • #46


nucleargirl said:
be honset with her and she will appreciate it. If you don't insult her in anyway, and just tell her that you like her as a person (she's a good person) but you only see her as a friend and nothing more, and that you hope that you telling her all this won't affect you friendship, then hopefully if she's a big enough person, she will accept graciously and it won't be awkward between you two in future. If things do turn awkward, I still think it is the right thing to do on your behalf, and then I guess you just have to deal wiht the awkwardness... that's how she reacts, not your fault.

So what are you trying to say? If she's fat, she's used to being rejected? What horribly insensitive advice!

But I do have to credit you with at least a little insight. You were perceptive enough to realize that no one with a centerfold type body would be interested in someone so nerdy that they'd ask such a lame question. Although, in its own way, that's kind of insensitive and insulting to just assume that the person asking is a nerd - or maybe it's just insensitive and insulting to come right out and say he's a nerd, since his nerdiness is a little too obvious to just ignore.

Where's Cyrus? He gives much more tender, sensitive answers than you.
 
  • #47


nucleargirl said:
ahem... this post was deleted cos it might cause some offence to the above poster... sorry! don't mean to freak you out! I'll stop!

Just another example of your insensitivity. It was only one poster that might have taken offense. You denied pleasure to every other forum member just to spare the feelings of one poster.

But this is Topher we're talking about, so maybe it's okay to make an exception?

Nah, hate to say it, but even Topher's oversensitive tear glands aren't worth denying pleasure to the rest of the forum members.
 
  • #48


Yess.. nothing like a fat angry emo nerd chick stalking you.. planning to jump you in a dark alley :rofl:

SWAN DIVE!

[PLAIN]http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:dNV4xFNaOW9nJM:http://my.wcsx.com/buck/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/fat-chick.jpg&t=1 [Broken]

Nerd down.
 
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  • #49


nucleargirl said:
...:( nobody's posting anymore...
I could start a monologue! but it would make me look even more sad...
everyone's probably got interesting things to do in their lives... well I dont! not right now! I'm not in the mood!

Sounds like you . . . well, may have some things? You're not tryin' to fix other peoples problems and not fixin' your own are you?
 
  • #50


Is it better to stay lonely waiting for someone closer to your ideals or mess around with someone you know you would leave in a second for someone else?
 
  • #51


cronxeh said:
I like your advise and I agree with most of it, but it will land him in the friendzone. If she hasn't noticed him yet, he has to be noticed by her. She has to be pursuing him in her mind even if she doesn't show it. At high school level this is best done by either being a prep or a jock. Cultivating multiple female friendships and being 'seen' hanging out with them while the particular girl in question is in the viewing angle. She has to notice you, think about you and then initiate the contact.

By chasing her, you are likely to either end up in friendzone or simply waste so much time/energy/money trying to serenade an already horny teenager.

You know, I don't understand why people talk about the friend zone like its a black hole with no escape.

The two times I've had female friends that I eventually developed feelings for, they both returned those feelings. Now admittedly my less than stellar response to this, coupled with their timing in telling me (they both couldn't have picked worse times) things kinda feel apart.

But the point is, if its an actual two way friendship were the girl makes an effort to spend time with you, not to cry about her boyfriend but actually appreciate your company, over time it probably will lead to feelings developing. The real trick is just making sure you're both available when that happens.
 
  • #52


anubis01 said:
The real trick is just making sure you're both available when that happens.

That never happens b/c they are instinctively drawn to want what is off limits. It is a safety mechanism designed to prevent instant gratification.
 
  • #53


brainstorm said:
That never happens b/c they are instinctively drawn to want what is off limits. It is a safety mechanism designed to prevent instant gratification.

maybe I should have worded it differently but it wasn't like that.

Girl 1 was dropping hints for a good month, but I didn't pursue it right away because I wasn't sure, that and she had an overseas boyfriend (he was in Pakistan while she had moved to Canada), so yeah after her asking me out for dinner and me giving her a birthday card saying "your a good friend"... well that didn't go well.

Girl 2 I initially asked out, she just wanted to be friends, four months later she develops feelings for me, always making an extra effort to spend time with me etc.. but she made that push when pretty much everything in my life was going to hell in a hand basket, so yeah that didn't work out either.

Perhaps some women do play games like that, but like I said the ones that are actually close to you usually don't do that stuff.
 
  • #54


BobG said:
Just another example of your insensitivity. It was only one poster that might have taken offense. You denied pleasure to every other forum member just to spare the feelings of one poster.

But this is Topher we're talking about, so maybe it's okay to make an exception?

Nah, hate to say it, but even Topher's oversensitive tear glands aren't worth denying pleasure to the rest of the forum members.

I can take it, bring it on! I'm always willing to sacrifice my feelings for good entertainment.
 
  • #55


BobG said:
So what are you trying to say? If she's fat, she's used to being rejected? What horribly insensitive advice!

But I do have to credit you with at least a little insight. You were perceptive enough to realize that no one with a centerfold type body would be interested in someone so nerdy that they'd ask such a lame question. Although, in its own way, that's kind of insensitive and insulting to just assume that the person asking is a nerd - or maybe it's just insensitive and insulting to come right out and say he's a nerd, since his nerdiness is a little too obvious to just ignore.

Where's Cyrus? He gives much more tender, sensitive answers than you.

um... I think you have comprehension problems. You totally misunderstood my post.
 
  • #56


nucleargirl said:
um... I think you have comprehension problems. You totally misunderstood my post.

I think Bob was joking. I'd advise you not to take things so seriously/literally. This entire subforum is a joke!
 
  • #57


jackmell said:
Sounds like you . . . well, may have some things? You're not tryin' to fix other peoples problems and not fixin' your own are you?

Obviously I have my own problems, but I think sometimes you are not always the best at helping yourself - it is better to help each other - cos we are all good at different things and can offer advice in different areas. So just because someone doesn't have their life completely sorted, doesn't mean they have nothing to offer others - nobody's perfect yet we all have a lot to offer. Like Confucious said: There will be a teacher for me amongst any 3 travellers.
 
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  • #58


cristo said:
I think Bob was joking. I'd advise you not to take things so seriously/literally. This entire subforum is a joke!

yes, and I'd advise you to do the same :)
 
  • #59


BobG said:
Just another example of your insensitivity. It was only one poster that might have taken offense. You denied pleasure to every other forum member just to spare the feelings of one poster.

But this is Topher we're talking about, so maybe it's okay to make an exception?

Nah, hate to say it, but even Topher's oversensitive tear glands aren't worth denying pleasure to the rest of the forum members.

and actually it would have been very entertaining had you been reading the post at the right time. better follow my posts more closely in future if you want to catch all the fun parts :p
 
  • #60


At least some of the other threads in this subforum are actually seeking advice, but this thread is just noise. Time to close it down.
 
<h2>1. Why do I always seem to have relationship problems?</h2><p>There can be many reasons for recurring relationship problems, such as communication issues, unresolved conflicts, or incompatible personalities. It is important to reflect on your past relationships and identify any patterns or common themes that may be contributing to these problems.</p><h2>2. How can I improve my communication in a relationship?</h2><p>Effective communication is key in any relationship. Some tips for improving communication include active listening, expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly and respectfully, and being open to compromise and understanding your partner's perspective.</p><h2>3. How do I know if I am in a healthy relationship?</h2><p>A healthy relationship is characterized by mutual respect, trust, and support. It is important to have open and honest communication, to feel comfortable being yourself, and to have a balance of independence and togetherness. If you feel safe, happy, and fulfilled in your relationship, it is likely a healthy one.</p><h2>4. What should I do if my partner and I have different values or goals?</h2><p>It is common for partners to have some differences in values or goals, but it is important to have open and respectful communication about these differences. Compromise and finding common ground can help maintain a healthy relationship. However, if the differences are too significant and cause constant conflict, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship.</p><h2>5. How can I handle conflicts in a relationship?</h2><p>Conflicts are a normal part of any relationship, but it is important to handle them in a healthy and productive manner. This includes avoiding blame and criticism, actively listening to your partner's perspective, and finding a solution that works for both of you. It can also be helpful to seek the advice of a therapist or counselor if conflicts become too difficult to manage on your own.</p>

1. Why do I always seem to have relationship problems?

There can be many reasons for recurring relationship problems, such as communication issues, unresolved conflicts, or incompatible personalities. It is important to reflect on your past relationships and identify any patterns or common themes that may be contributing to these problems.

2. How can I improve my communication in a relationship?

Effective communication is key in any relationship. Some tips for improving communication include active listening, expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly and respectfully, and being open to compromise and understanding your partner's perspective.

3. How do I know if I am in a healthy relationship?

A healthy relationship is characterized by mutual respect, trust, and support. It is important to have open and honest communication, to feel comfortable being yourself, and to have a balance of independence and togetherness. If you feel safe, happy, and fulfilled in your relationship, it is likely a healthy one.

4. What should I do if my partner and I have different values or goals?

It is common for partners to have some differences in values or goals, but it is important to have open and respectful communication about these differences. Compromise and finding common ground can help maintain a healthy relationship. However, if the differences are too significant and cause constant conflict, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship.

5. How can I handle conflicts in a relationship?

Conflicts are a normal part of any relationship, but it is important to handle them in a healthy and productive manner. This includes avoiding blame and criticism, actively listening to your partner's perspective, and finding a solution that works for both of you. It can also be helpful to seek the advice of a therapist or counselor if conflicts become too difficult to manage on your own.

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