Your wish is granted: You now know all the answers, but nobody believes you.

[hamster143]

Granted. Is that her psycho chainsaw wielding ex-boyfriend knocking down your door?

I wish to grow a glorious, bushy mustache some day.

 

[MotoH]

Granted. Is that her psycho chainsaw wielding ex-boyfriend knocking down your door?

I wish to grow a glorious, bushy mustache some day.

Granted, but for 3 years you will be stuck with the pedo-stache


I wish for my microwave to automatically make food!

 

[robertm]

I wish for my microwave to automatically make food!

Granted, but your house has foreclosed and you have to try and sell it to afford rent in your crappy apartment but no one believes so now you're homeless and raving about your magic microwave.

I wish I had a 12" dobsonian.

 

[Redbelly98]

Granted, but your house has foreclosed and you have to try and sell it to afford rent in your crappy apartment but no one believes so now you're homeless and raving about your magic microwave.

I wish I had a 12" dobsonian.

Granted, but it is made of solid tungsten, about 1.5 times denser than lead. Have fun lugging that beast around.

I wish I were an Oscar Mey--no, wait, I mean I wish I had an electric car.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Granted, but it is made of solid tungsten, about 1.5 times denser than lead. Have fun lugging that beast around.

I wish I were an Oscar Mey--no, wait, I mean I wish I had an electric car.

Granted. But the remote control breaks and it's not much fun after that.

I wish I had a PhD.

 

[Andre]

Granted. But the remote control breaks and it's not much fun after that.

I wish I had a PhD.

Granted, you can find him in Irkutsk (Ирку́тск), Siberia. He still wears his hat.

I wish I had that note from the future what to do.

 

[Borek]

Granted. You don't have enough tentacles to repeat the procedure.

I wish it was not that cold.

 

[Borg]

Granted. You don't have enough tentacles to repeat the procedure.

I wish it was not that cold.

Granted. It's much warmer here that it was last week. Thanks!

I wish that I didn't have to pay taxes.

 

[turbo]

Granted. It's much warmer here that it was last week. Thanks!

I wish that I didn't have to pay taxes.

Granted, but you know the alternative, so you're now dead.

I wish my mink buddy would stick around and kill all the mice and voles on the property next summer.

 

[robertm]

I wish my mink buddy would stick around and kill all the mice and voles on the property next summer.

Granted, but every time you see that gorgeous glistening coat, all you can picture are mittens; and soon the mice and voles are back and your hands are sweaty and fashionable.

I wish someone would make a small (100$ minimum people) tax-deductible donation to the Poor Starving robertm Foundation (you can just PM me).

 

[Redbelly98]

Granted. You don't have enough tentacles to repeat the procedure.

I wish it was not that cold.

Shoot Borek**, I wanted to tell you that you're now burning in Hell for the rest of eternity. Opportunity lost.

I wish someone would make a small (100$ minimum people) tax-deductible donation to the Poor Starving robertm Foundation (you can just PM me).

Granted. You've also been widely reported as an internet spammer. All of your emails to friends are automatically deleted before they see them, and every internet forum you join bans you automatically. Hope you enjoy writing paper letters and interacting with people face to face.

I wish Bush were no longer presi--uh wait, nevermind. Um, I wish I were 20 years younger, but still knew everything I know now.

-----

**Note, "shoot" is a figure of speech in English. Not being used in the command sense here.

 

[Redbelly98]

... I wish I were 20 years younger, but still knew everything I know now.

Oops, didn't mean to post an untwistable wish. Okay, how about:

I wish I could play the banjo.

 

[lisab]

Oops, didn't mean to post an untwistable wish. Okay, how about:

I wish I could play the banjo.

Granted, but you only know how to play songs by Mozart or AC/DC.

I wish I had a transporter, like the one in Star Trek.

 

[Evo]

I wish I had a transporter, like the one in Star Trek.

Granted, except you have no control over your destination and can only go to concerts by Britney Spears and similarly lame pop tarts.

I wish I had a replicator, like the one in Star Trek.

 

[Redbelly98]

Granted, except you have no control over your destination and can only go to concerts by Britney Spears and similarly lame pop tarts.

I wish I had a replicator, like the one in Star Trek.

Granted, but you can only replicate Britney Spears and similarly lame pop tarts. Oh, and hundreds of PF members keep bugging you, wanting to borrow your replicator.

I wish I had a holodeck, like the one in Star Trek.

 

[Jonathan Scott]

I wish I had a holodeck, like the one in Star Trek.

Granted - you're already in it. You didn't think that was real life, did you? Unfortunately the exit portal is permanently broken.

I wish I had more usable storage space in my house.

 

[robertm]

I wish I had more usable storage space in my house.

Granted, you've been robbed.

I wish I had a dark-field condenser for my microscope.

 

[rootX]

Granted, you've been robbed.

I wish I had a dark-field condenser for my microscope.

Granted but now you have no microscope - it got stolen.

I wish it wasn't so hot in here ... shouldn't be too cold either!

 

[robertm]

Granted but now you have no microscope - it got stolen.

Oh, come on!

I wish it wasn't so hot in here ... shouldn't be too cold either!

Granted, the temperature has dropped two tenths of one degree.

I wish I could have gone to the Adam Green show last wednesday.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cm_Xo-ZoRAg&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/cm_Xo-ZoRAg&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

 

[robertm]

Too hard?

Ok, I wish Sol had a twin. Double sunrises and double sunsets.

 

[The legend]

Too hard?

Ok, I wish Sol had a twin. Double sunrises and double sunsets.

Ok, your wish is granted. Sol had a twin in your dreams this morning
(no offence, just fun!)

I wish to wish a beautiful wish which will be wished when someone else wishes his wish!


(hows that!)

 

[drizzle]

Ok, your wish is granted. Sol had a twin in your dreams this morning
(no offence, just fun!)

I wish to wish a beautiful wish which will be wished when someone else wishes his wish!


(hows that!)

if you wish to wish a wish, help me swish for fish with my Ish wish dish! say that 5 times

 

[The legend]

if you wish to wish a wish, help me swish for fish with my Ish wish dish! say that 5 times

Ah! rolled my tongue and am to be admitted into the hospital!