Collection of Lame Jokes

  • Thread starter quddusaliquddus
  • Start date
  • Tags
    Jokes
In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #4,656
78YEgkK.jpg


Come on science. I need answers.
 

Attachments

  • 78YEgkK.jpg
    78YEgkK.jpg
    29 KB · Views: 802
  • Like
Likes davenn, Ibix and 256bits
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #4,657
Psinter said:
Come on science. I need answers.
Power naps!
 
  • Like
Likes Psinter
  • #4,658
Psinter said:
Come on science. I need answers.
Ha ha that's a good one for everyone.
Buy a really really fast watch.
( or is it a really really slow watch ):confused:

what I do know due to science, at least for NA is that once a year I get to sleep 9 hours in 8, but then as there is no free lunch, several months later there is clawback and I get to sleep only 7 hours in 8. And once every 4 years or so they let me sleep another day ( night ) of sleep, just because they are compassionate people out there for the sleep deprived.
 
  • Like
Likes Psinter
  • #4,659
256bits said:
Ha ha that's a good one for everyone.
Buy a really really fast watch.
( or is it a really really slow watch ):confused:
Yep, that's the solution: Just run at 87% c while you sleep and all will be fine!
 
  • Like
Likes Psinter
  • #4,660
fresh_42 said:
Yep, that's the solution: Just run at 87% c while you sleep and all will be fine!
Better if everyone else runs at 87% c so that their clocks run slower. Then you can sleep all you like.
 
  • Like
Likes Psinter
  • #4,661
Psinter said:
View attachment 227417

Come on science. I need answers.
They say, hours (of sleep) before midnight count double. Try it.
 
  • Like
Likes Psinter and nitsuj
  • #4,662
What's the classic meal for Groundhog Day?

Leftovers.
 
  • Like
Likes davenn
  • #4,663
What do you call jokes about current events within 23° of the equator?

Tropical topical humour.

What do you call jokes about recent developments in skin creams?

Topical topical humour.
 
  • Like
Likes 256bits
  • #4,664
jtbell said:
What's the classic meal for Groundhog Day?

Leftovers.
I hate the way it repeats on you, though.
 
  • Like
Likes DrGreg
  • #4,665
Ibix said:
recent developments in skin creams
Lathering the cream all over your skin below the 23 degree- would that be tropical topical topical cream?
 
  • #4,666
live longer - take a nap.jpg
 

Attachments

  • live longer - take a nap.jpg
    live longer - take a nap.jpg
    38.5 KB · Views: 399
  • Like
Likes Psinter and strangerep
  • #4,667
this is a whole 'nother level of dopey

 
  • Like
Likes fresh_42
  • #4,668
funny-us-map-europe-sees-us.jpg


How some see the US.

Non-American: "Are you from Texas? Or New York?"
American: I'm from Oregon.
Non-American: ... ... ... ... ... Is it close to Texas? Is it big like Texas? Have you been to Texas? I've heard about California... You close to New York?
 

Attachments

  • funny-us-map-europe-sees-us.jpg
    funny-us-map-europe-sees-us.jpg
    21.3 KB · Views: 703
  • Like
Likes davenn
  • #4,669
Psinter said:
View attachment 227629

How some see the US.

Non-American: "Are you from Texas? Or New York?"
American: I'm from Oregon.
Non-American: ... ... ... ... ... Is it close to Texas? Is it big like Texas? Have you been to Texas? I've heard about California... You close to New York?
Still far far better than many people see Germany:

upload_2018-7-4_14-56-50.png
 

Attachments

  • upload_2018-7-4_14-56-50.png
    upload_2018-7-4_14-56-50.png
    11.9 KB · Views: 333
  • Like
Likes Psinter and mfb
  • #4,670
jtbell said:
From the Autocorrect Spelling Bee:

"Schadenfreude. S-C-A-R-F. Schadenfreude."

Speaking of Schadenfreude, for those of you who have been on the road for the big holiday in the US...

New Yorker magazine cartoon
 
  • Like
Likes Borg and collinsmark
  • #4,671
medical afflictions of cartoon world.jpg
 

Attachments

  • medical afflictions of cartoon world.jpg
    medical afflictions of cartoon world.jpg
    29.8 KB · Views: 346
  • Like
Likes BillTre
  • #4,672
upload_2018-7-5_0-15-34.png
 

Attachments

  • upload_2018-7-5_0-15-34.png
    upload_2018-7-5_0-15-34.png
    6.8 KB · Views: 334
  • Like
Likes davenn and BillTre
  • #4,673
36252572_10160645502190094_1680099547298136064_n.jpg
 

Attachments

  • 36252572_10160645502190094_1680099547298136064_n.jpg
    36252572_10160645502190094_1680099547298136064_n.jpg
    50 KB · Views: 317
  • Like
Likes strangerep and davenn
  • #4,674
davenn said:
snip
latest?cb=20140717034353.png
 

Attachments

  • latest?cb=20140717034353.png
    latest?cb=20140717034353.png
    52.1 KB · Views: 624
  • Like
Likes BillTre and davenn
  • #4,675
hahaha :smile:
 
  • #4,676

Attachments

  • WinnieThePoohCup.jpg
    WinnieThePoohCup.jpg
    37.1 KB · Views: 265
  • #4,677
Borg said:
Speaking of Winnie the Pooh... Did you know that he is banned in China?
latest cb=20140717034353.png
 

Attachments

  • latest cb=20140717034353.png
    latest cb=20140717034353.png
    42.9 KB · Views: 299
  • Like
Likes Borg
  • #4,678
Psinter said:
Is it close to Texas? Is it big like Texas? Have you been to Texas? I've heard about California... You close to New York?
Reminds me of the New Yorker who met a tourist from Ohio.

New Yorker: "Oh really? A friend of mine moved out that way."
Tourist: "Where does he live?"
New Yorker: "Idaho."
 
  • Like
Likes Psinter, davenn and fresh_42
  • #4,679
jtbell said:
Reminds me of the New Yorker who met a tourist from Ohio.

New Yorker: "Oh really? A friend of mine moved out that way."
Tourist: "Where does he live?"
New Yorker: "Idaho."
That's a good example for a one-point compactification (Alexandroff).
 
  • #4,680
jtbell said:
Reminds me of the New Yorker who met a tourist from Ohio.

New Yorker: "Oh really? A friend of mine moved out that way."
Tourist: "Where does he live?"
New Yorker: "Idaho."
Ahem: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idaho,_Ohio
 
  • Like
Likes mfb, davenn and jtbell
  • #4,681
OK, this is about as lame as you can get :biggrin:

burnt hawaiian pizza.jpg
 

Attachments

  • burnt hawaiian pizza.jpg
    burnt hawaiian pizza.jpg
    54.4 KB · Views: 448
  • Like
Likes mfb, Bystander, jtbell and 2 others
  • #4,682
Ibix said:
For that matter, there's also an Oregon, Ohio, just outside Toledo. I drove through there last year on my rust belt road trip.

There are a surprising number of towns with the same names as states different from the ones they're located in. An amusing example is Indiana, Pennsylvania, which is the home of Indiana University of Pennsylvania (no connection to either Indiana University or the University of Pennsylvania). o0)
 
  • Like
Likes Ibix and davenn
  • #4,683
jtbell said:
For that matter, there's also an Oregon, Ohio, just outside Toledo. I drove through there last year on my rust belt road trip.
To be honest, I only discovered Idaho, Ohio because my US geography isn't much better than the New York/Texas/California gag (I know where Florida is too!). I put Ohio into Google, then Idaho, and one of the auto-completes caught my eye...

I think my wife knows a few more states - Alaska which ones.
 
  • #4,685
Physicists found out ...

... but went in again.
 
  • Like
Likes Ibix
  • #4,686
mfb said:
There is also Ohio, New York, with a population of 1000.
Wikipedia said:
Ohio was increased by some of the now-defunct town of Wilmurt, which itself had been partly formed with territory from Ohio and the town of Russia in 1836.
So it appears at least some people in Ohio can see Russia from their house! No need to go all the way to Alaska. :cool:
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Likes mfb
  • #4,688
mfb said:
There is also Ohio, New York, with a population of 1000.
I've heard that Ohioville, NY was named by settlers who intended to go to migrate to Ohio, but stopped early and named the town after the intended destination.

(I read this in a newsletter for a rail trail in that area. Looking online for another source, I found it on Wikipedia, but it cites that same newsletter.)
 
  • #4,689
I wanted to donate blood. But they've asked too many questions: "Whose blood is this?" "Where did you have it from?" ...
 
  • Like
Likes Aufbauwerk 2045 and Ibix
  • #4,690
The two year old just ran against the door while staring at his coloring book.
I think he's ready now for his first smartphone.
 
  • Like
Likes davenn, Aufbauwerk 2045 and BillTre

Similar threads

  • General Discussion
12
Replies
394
Views
16K
  • General Discussion
2
Replies
42
Views
2K
Replies
0
Views
516
  • General Discussion
8
Replies
260
Views
21K
  • General Discussion
Replies
7
Views
2K
  • General Discussion
Replies
5
Views
741
  • General Discussion
6
Replies
185
Views
6K
Replies
15
Views
3K
Replies
21
Views
2K
  • Feedback and Announcements
Replies
2
Views
845
Back
Top