Your most recent experience that made you think why the hell did I do it?

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In summary, your most recent experience that made you think... was when you met a girl who is best friends with your bestfriend and she suggested you date her. You hesitated and then jokingly replied "no way, of course we are just friends!" Since then, nothing has changed. You spend most of your time with her and whenever somebody meets her for the first time they think you are dating her.
  • #1
Werdatothewise
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Your most recent experience that made you think..."...why the hell did I do it? ...

Some days I wonder if the mistakes I make are initiated by my over-working mind, or my sub-liminal thoughts that lay deep inside my frontal lobe of my brain, are testing me to see if I will (do) tasks in correct maiden ways.

It seems I actually believe "what I undertake" in daily life must be challenged to make life easier - when in fact, the precentage is usually high that a mistake is actively induced by a factor I cannot figure out at the time.

So, here is my question:

What have YOU done recently (starting) with your most recent experience that made you think..."...why the hell did I do it? ...

I have a list a mountain pile high of stunts, experiments (unknowing they were experiments), that actually turn out either funny, or disasterious.

I learned today that it is NOT a good idea to washing underwear with the van mats from my E-150 van.



And you..... please tell me (us) your story.

Werdas'

 
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  • #2
Recently I got myself a girlfriend. She is very nice, very sweet and I love her to pieces. However there is someone we know how likes me but I do not return the affection. It started last year when I sort of went with the person and, I suppose, went out with them. My girlfriend knows about it because this other person is being openly affectionate towards me.

My girlfriend is now taking the Micheal out of me because of it, which is starting to annoy me.

So I thought, why the heel did I go out with this person?

An old event with very recent affects. :redface:

The Bob (2004 ©)
 
  • #3
I usually do not regret what I have done. I know everybody builds on his errors. Yet this one annoys me. Of course, it is also about girls...

A few months ago, I met this girl (let us call her Allisa) who is among the best friends of my bestfriend (let us call him Bob). Bob told me "you have to meet Allisa, this girl is the best..." so I could not wait. At that time I was almost already single (I knew my previous story was going to end... momentarily). Indeed, I met Allisa, and she is so funny. Always happy, always cheering up everyone, even though she has her own problems : never complaining. I started to like her. Since I did not feel ready for a new relationship at that time, I did not want to consider her as a potential gitrlfriend, I wanted to have her as a regular friend. And indeed, we soon became bestfriends. We spent a lot of great time together.

One night at a party, late in the party she was kind of... drunk. She came to me and said : "You know what Bob just told me ? He told me he secretly planned to get us together" (Bob wanted his two bestfriends to become lovers). "I wanted to know : do you consider me as a friend, or more ? I am afraid Bob have suggested you to date me." At that moment, I hesitated. Short time to make a decision, I knew I was going to screw up, whatever I was going to say. I should have said "I think we get along together really fine. I like you very much, and I don't know how this relationship is going to evolve in the future. I am anyway not ready yet for a new relationship."

I was only able to jokingly reply something like "no way, of course we are just friends !" (laughings) "You know I love you anyway" (louder laughings)

Since that, nothing changed. We spent most of our time together. Whenever somebody meets us for the first time, he thinks we are dating each other. She spents more time with me than with her boyfriend(s). I do the same. We are stucked here, this is stupid.

One might think this is not the end of the story... We'll see. I just wish whatever happens we can stay friends anyway.
 
  • #4
I allowed my ex-girlfriend to speak to me. Or, more accurately, I didn't immediately hang up on her. BIG mistake.
 
  • #5
Adam : you told your mistake, but you also let us imagine why it was a mistake...
 
  • #6
WERD! You're BACK! I've missed you! :biggrin: ('Course I'm not here that much myself lately... Still... it's nice to see you again! XXOO)
 
  • #7
I love this THREAD!

Tsunami said:
WERD! You're BACK! I've missed you! :biggrin: ('Course I'm not here that much myself lately... Still... it's nice to see you again! XXOO)

Tsunami! You're BACK ALSO! I feel so much better seeing your face-signature, Evo's, and Boulder(smack)head, and so many others.

Tsunami, I was wondering if you were still under your computer sorting out your dissertation papers! haha! I am Prof-teaching three days a week, M-W-F, in Psychology, and Eng. Lit. Thus far, I am enjoying being back after my big BANG crash! I am under-going HBOT Therapy, (interesting) to rejuvenate my brain cells ~ hopefully the treatment will return me back to my interesting "off-the-wall" self. Thus, far, I see myself returning. I will be buying red paint. Care to come with me? Follow? :biggrin: ~lOTSA LOVE TO YOU ~WERDAS'
 
  • #8
No Psycho-Coat Needed

humanino said:
I usually do not regret what I have done. I know everybody builds on his errors. Yet this one annoys me. Of course, it is also about girls...

A few months ago, I met this girl (let us call her Allisa) who is among the best friends of my bestfriend (let us call him Bob). Bob told me "you have to meet Allisa, this girl is the best..." so I could not wait. At that time I was almost already single (I knew my previous story was going to end... momentarily). Indeed, I met Allisa, and she is so funny. Always happy, always cheering up everyone, even though she has her own problems : never complaining. I started to like her. Since I did not feel ready for a new relationship at that time, I did not want to consider her as a potential gitrlfriend, I wanted to have her as a regular friend. And indeed, we soon became bestfriends. We spent a lot of great time together.

One night at a party, late in the party she was kind of... drunk. She came to me and said : "You know what Bob just told me ? He told me he secretly planned to get us together" (Bob wanted his two bestfriends to become lovers). "I wanted to know : do you consider me as a friend, or more ? I am afraid Bob have suggested you to date me." At that moment, I hesitated. Short time to make a decision, I knew I was going to screw up, whatever I was going to say. I should have said "I think we get along together really fine. I like you very much, and I don't know how this relationship is going to evolve in the future. I am anyway not ready yet for a new relationship."

I was only able to jokingly reply something like "no way, of course we are just friends !" (laughings) "You know I love you anyway" (louder laughings)

Since that, nothing changed. We spent most of our time together. Whenever somebody meets us for the first time, he thinks we are dating each other. She spents more time with me than with her boyfriend(s). I do the same. We are stucked here, this is stupid.

One might think this is not the end of the story... We'll see. I just wish whatever happens we can stay friends anyway.


My Dearest Human-oid(ino)

"Since that, nothing changed. We spent most of our time together. Whenever somebody meets us for the first time, he thinks we are dating each other. She spents more time with me than with her boyfriend(s). I do the same. We are stucked here, this is stupid.

One might think this is not the end of the story... We'll see. I just wish whatever happens we can stay friends anyway."


I only needed to read your response 'once' to (assume) you (my man) are falling in love.

Be honest to my response here, Humanino, could I be right?
~Werdas'


Ps: If you wish a clarification on my part ~ I would be glad to psycho-analyze your response. Love eludes my romantic DNA persona I possesses and takes over feelings from my heart.
 
  • #9
I get a free analyze :cool:

I said I don't want to fall in love, because I am not ready. But I am aware I can't control love feelings. However, I am pretty sure this is only friendship. Strong friendship, and I also have difficulties to make the difference for sure. Even worse, I must admit that this kind of deep-friendship-let's-get-together-caus-we-fit-so-well really seduce me. I might feel it is more secure, just in case the relation ends : I will recover easilier if I was not truly in love.

I admit that, reading my post you are lead to think I am falling in love. However, the situation fascinates me. I always knew very fastly when I was going to fall in love (often faster than the girl) but in that case, the more I think about it, the less I believe it is love.

I want to find the right person for the rest of my life, grow old with her. I feel I am becoming too old for those youth mistakes. Everyday without my love is another day lost. So, when I think about it rationaly, everything tells me to be careful and to keep "Allisa" as one of my best friends.

Is it more difficult to find true love, or deep frienship ? Do you too think these concepts are close to each other ?
 
  • #10
Is it more difficult to find true love, or deep frienship ?

humanino said:
I get a free analyze :cool:

I said I don't want to fall in love, because I am not ready. But I am aware I can't control love feelings. However, I am pretty sure this is only friendship. Strong friendship, and I also have difficulties to make the difference for sure. Even worse, I must admit that this kind of deep-friendship-let's-get-together-caus-we-fit-so-well really seduce me. I might feel it is more secure, just in case the relation ends : I will recover easilier if I was not truly in love.

I admit that, reading my post you are lead to think I am falling in love. However, the situation fascinates me. I always knew very fastly when I was going to fall in love (often faster than the girl) but in that case, the more I think about it, the less I believe it is love.

I want to find the right person for the rest of my life, grow old with her. I feel I am becoming too old for those youth mistakes. Everyday without my love is another day lost. So, when I think about it rationaly, everything tells me to be careful and to keep "Allisa" as one of my best friends.

Is it more difficult to find true love, or deep frienship ? Do you too think these concepts are close to each other ?

I will lead you into this question:
Q: Do you think that being in love can last if couples have a deep friendship?

Q: Secondly, if you over-rationalize your feelings, is there a very strong possibility that you will over rationalize what is not love, and what is?

There are no theories on love. No mathematical formulas. But, in answering your question, I believe that deep friendship leads to love.

There are many times on "ones" life you have to follow your heart.


~Werdas' @2004
 
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  • #11
Werda's best

Werda said:
Q: Do you think that being in love can last if couples have a deep friendship?
Yes. I am certain that passionate relations eventually lead to a painful end, at least in my experience. My best relations were based on friendship first. Alas, there is always a risk, that you let the "fire pass out". Non-passionated relations require more attentions do get them last in the long run. This is my biggest fear in a relation : that eventually the other gets bored (I am used to boring people with science :wink:). This in turn often leads me to act as crazily as possible. I am a 24 years old kid sometimes :biggrin:

Werda said:
Q: Secondly, if you over-rationalize your feelings, is there a very strong possibility that you will over rationalize what is not love, and what is?
There is indeed for sure. If I keep trying to analyze myself (as I do it constantly), reason might fail me. :bugeye: :uhh: I am not good at analyzing myself because, as a scientist, I always select the simplest answer. This leads me to trivialize my behavior. Subtleties must escape my reasoning. Do you think I should just quit trying to understand my behavior for my mind sake ? :yuck: That could unfortunately lead me to act randomly, I could loose consistecy. I am very grateful to you that you are helping me here, for these reasons.

Unfortunately, I know I started that discussion, but I am not sure it is going to be possible to end it (properly). This is not fair to PF that I am getting a free analyze, which certainly nobody cares about. :redface: If other persons would post in this thread that would be different. Common people ! Post your own problems too instead of reading mine :tongue2:

I feel that decision not to try to date Allisa is a mystake, because if I did I would now know "where" we are. There is nothing very deep here.
 
  • #12
By the way, I like your knew avatar which is very sexy (as compared to BoulderHead's one : ) Thanks again Werda !
 
  • #13
those who have the quirky-smarts, have the hardest time finding a soul mate

Dear Humanino, my apology for not responding for the past several days. My students at the U are keeping me busy. I will be back to respond in a few days. Thanks for the nice comment on my "new" avatar. The "As the World Turns" (.gif) was driving me crazy each time I would see it. I needed to "tone" it down.

Just so you know, I will be ready to analyze your past comments, also toning them with questions. It is not only YOU being one of a person of discussion in this subject, as I believe - those who have the quirky-smarts, have the hardest time finding a soul mate. Thus far, in Educational Psychology (teachings) that has been my findings. Will talk more later....

Hugs,
Werdas'
 
  • #14
humanino said:
I get a free analyze :cool:
I said I don't want to fall in love, because I am not ready. But I am aware I can't control love feelings. However, I am pretty sure this is only friendship. Strong friendship, and I also have difficulties to make the difference for sure. Even worse, I must admit that this kind of deep-friendship-let's-get-together-caus-we-fit-so-well really seduce me. I might feel it is more secure, just in case the relation ends : I will recover easilier if I was not truly in love.

Sounds to me like you want to fall in love but afraid of getting hurt.
 
  • #15
The_Professional said:
Sounds to me like you want to fall in love but afraid of getting hurt.
Definitely right. Yet some things have happened since then, which made me definitely realize that "Allisa" is a great friend of mine, and no more. Now I am glad, and ready to fall in love again. Birds are singing in the lab... :approve: :biggrin: :rolleyes: :cool:
 
  • #16
Werdatothewise said:
Dear Humanino, my apology for not responding for the past several days.
Hugs,
Werdas'
It's great that you are here Werdas'. Your comments helped me much.
 
  • #17
Can we MAKE holes in Humanino's Paper Bag?

Dear Mr. Humanino... it's 2:04 AM, and I just HAD to make a PF pit-stop! Now you have me hanging on the ledge! 'splain your last comment, posted ... not one thing in particular, but, the whole paper bag where you are hiding your (ummm) inner thoughts .... dig deep for those feelings, or I am going to ask you to change your PF screen name to...Humanoid!

Waiting for your concreted settlement explanation. At the same token, take your time to realize what are you honest thoughts, and what you could be avoiding. Could it be the truth? Are you "afraid" of being hurt? If so, what could (have) brought on that type of paranoid feeling of affection?


Hugs, Werdas'
 

1. What was your most recent experience that made you question your decision?

My most recent experience that made me question my decision was when I volunteered to help a friend move to a new apartment.

2. What made you think "why the hell did I do it?"

As we were carrying heavy furniture up several flights of stairs, I realized I had severely underestimated the amount of work involved and regretted my decision to help.

3. Did you learn anything from this experience?

Yes, I learned to always think carefully before committing to something and to never underestimate the amount of effort and time required for a task.

4. How did you handle the situation?

I tried to stay positive and focused on the end goal of helping my friend. I also made sure to take breaks and ask for help when needed.

5. Would you do it again?

While I am glad I was able to help my friend, I would probably think twice before agreeing to help with a move again. However, I would still be open to helping in other ways if needed.

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