What is it with guys my age?

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In summary: I'm 20 and one of the guys that hit on me was 80. I consider creepy over 40.In summary, the speaker is a female student in a physics program and rarely gets approached by guys her age, but often gets hit on by older men when she goes outside. She has tried dropping subtle hints to guys her age, but it hasn't worked. She wonders if the standards of older men are too low, and is tired of dealing with their advances. She also mentions that she and her housemate both experience this issue, despite living in a small town with a mostly unemployed population. The conversation also touches on the speaker's struggles with finding a romantic partner and the possibility of a rumor circulating about her.
  • #1
raw
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I almost NEVER get approached by guys my age even though I'm a female in physics (there are 2 other girls max in all my other physics classes). However, I live off campus and almost every time I make a trip outside I get hit on by these creepy older guys. I've tried talking to guys my age and dropping subtle hints that I'm interested but it never seems to work. I'm so tired of this. Are the standards of older guys too low?
 
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  • #2
raw said:
I almost NEVER get approached by guys my age even though I'm a female in physics (there are 2 other girls max in all my other physics classes). However, I live off campus and almost every time I make a trip outside I get hit on by these creepy older guys. I've tried talking to guys my age and dropping subtle hints that I'm interested but it never seems to work. I'm so tired of this. Are the standards of older guys too low?
What age is creepy? What is the age difference? Are you 18 and they're 65?
 
  • #3
Evo said:
What age is creepy? What is the age difference? Are you 18 and they're 65?

I'm 20 and one of the guys that hit on me was 80. I consider creepy over 40.
 
  • #4
raw said:
I'm 20 and one of the guys that hit on me was 80. I consider creepy over 40.
For a 20 year old girl, I'd agree. Where are you meeting these older men?
 
  • #5
Evo said:
For a 20 year old girl, I'd agree. Where are you meeting these older men?
Just walking to the bus stop or getting a bagel at dunkin donuts.
 
  • #6
raw said:
I'm 20 and one of the guys that hit on me was 80. I consider creepy over 40.
I sense a bit of hyperbole here. Either that, or a gross failure of a 20 year old to estimate age. (Don't join the carnival!)

A good time to an eighty year old is watching Jeopardy with some sweet young thing of 50 or 60 and staying up late with her, maybe until 8:00 PM.
 
  • #7
raw said:
Just walking to the bus stop or getting a bagel at dunkin donuts.
How do you dress? The sexier a woman dresses, the more creeps hit on you. That doesn't mean dressing inappropriately, just what most girls your age would wear. My daughter will wear a shirt under her shirt if it would show cleavage and wear something loose over something fitting. If you're getting unwanted attention, sometimes you need to dress a bit frumpy unless you're ready to "attract".
 
  • #8
raw said:
Just walking to the bus stop or getting a bagel at dunkin donuts.

Krispey Kreme, far superior donut. Perhaps change shops? There's always 16 - 19 year olds hanging around the one where I live. :rolleyes:

What sort of person are you trying to find? Are you approaching some real nerdy guys who wouldn't catch on you're interested if you walked up to them nude?
 
  • #9
Evo said:
How do you dress? The sexier a woman dresses, the more creeps hit on you. That doesn't mean dressing inappropriately, just what most girls your age would wear. My daughter will wear a shirt under her shirt if it would show cleavage and wear something loose over something fitting. If you're getting unwanted attention, sometimes you need to dress a bit frumpy unless you're ready to "attract".

Some times I wear tights, heels and a sweater dress but usually I'm dressed down. Even when I'm wearing yoga pants and sweats older guys will hit on me. My house mate has the same problem. Even when she is wearing regular clothing guys will hit on her. We live in a ghost town where many of the residents are unemployed. I guess the older unemployed guys get a kick out of hitting on women and have very low standards considering the women around them are usually 50+ pounds overweight. I'm 5'8" with dark blonde hair so maybe I stand out in that respect.
 
  • #10
It could be the "what have I got to lose, and maybe I'll get lucky" thing.
 
  • #11
raw said:
I've tried talking to guys my age and dropping subtle hints that I'm interested but it never seems to work.

You're almost surely being too subtle. You overestimate the cunning of the male of this species.
 
  • #12
jarednjames said:
Krispey Kreme, far superior donut. Perhaps change shops? There's always 16 - 19 year olds hanging around the one where I live. :rolleyes:

What sort of person are you trying to find? Are you approaching some real nerdy guys who wouldn't catch on you're interested if you walked up to them nude?
I don't really have a type. I'm really bad at reading guys but I try to approach different kinds. Maybe I'm coming off as desperate?
 
  • #13
Evo said:
It could be the "what have I got to lose, and maybe I'll get lucky" thing.

That's definitely is the thing. Like how could an 80 year old think I would be interested in him. Like he's spent 80 years on this Earth yet thinks a 20 year old girl would want to go out with him.
 
  • #14
CRGreathouse said:
You're almost surely being too subtle. You overestimate the cunning of the male of this species.

So what should I do? Last year this guy who is math major kissed me when he was drunk at a party. The next time I saw him I dressed up (heels and all) and he told my friend that he didn't want to be in a relationship right now. I'm just afraid of coming off as desperate and being rejected. I don't know how to balance not being to subtle with not coming off as desperate.
 
  • #15
... a physics girl not being hit on by the guys in your department? Where do you live? Backwardsville?

The most likely possibility is that there is a nasty rumor going around that you murdered your last bf because he didn't obey your every command and everyone knows it
 
  • #16
raw said:
I don't really have a type. I'm really bad at reading guys but I try to approach different kinds. Maybe I'm coming off as desperate?

Maybe, but some people couldn't take a hint if you slapped them in the face with a big sign spelling it out.
 
  • #17
Pengwuino said:
... a physics girl not being hit on by the guys in your department? Where do you live? Backwardsville?

The most likely possibility is that there is a nasty rumor going around that you murdered your last bf because he didn't obey your every command and everyone knows it
Lol, I doubt it. But really I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm not a troll I swear.
 
  • #18
Ok, prepare to get fixed.

Men don't get subtle, it confuses them.

How do you approach a guy you want to go out with? What do you do and say?

Oh YAY, the test Pengwuin is here!
 
  • #19
Evo said:
Oh YAY, the test Pengwuin is here!

Yah time to beat some common sense into people.
 
  • #20
evo said:
men don't get subtle

qft.
 
  • #21
Evo said:
Ok, prepare to get fixed.

Men don't get subtle, it confuses them.

How do you approach a guy you want to go out with? What do you do and say?

Oh YAY, the test Pengwuin is here!
I talk to them. I ask them about classes and their opinions on professors and so on. I make sure to make eye contact and seem interested.
 
  • #22
The main thing I want to know is why more guys aren't hitting on me? What could I be doing wrong. I'm not attractive enough to be intimidating (except when I'm wearing heels maybe) yet I'm not so unattractive that I'm appalling. It must be something to do with my personality/behavior.
 
  • #23
Ok, when I spotted a guy I wanted to go out with, I walked up to him and asked "Where are you taking me friday night?" Worked every time. It worked on med students, chemical engineers, aerospace engineers, nuclear physicists. The closest I came to a turn down was one guy that said he already had plans Friday, but he could take me out Saturday. I wasn't a knockout, but I was cute and smart.
 
  • #24
Evo said:
Ok, when I spotted a guy I wanted to go out with, I walked up to him and asked "Where are you taking me friday night?" Worked every time.

The thing is if I'm rejected I will have to face that guy almost daily in class...
 
  • #25
raw said:
The main thing I want to know is why more guys aren't hitting on me? What could I be doing wrong. I'm not attractive enough to be intimidating (except when I'm wearing heels maybe) yet I'm not so unattractive that I'm appalling. It must be something to do with my personality/behavior.

If you find someone interesting, ask them out to lunch. That's what guys have to do with girls.

And it's not that guys don't get subtle, they get it. It's just that there's many girls who throw subtle hints out without knowing they're doing anything and guys get burned when they ask them out and find out they have a boyfriend or they were never interested.
 
  • #26
raw said:
The thing is if I'm rejected I will have to face that guy almost daily in class...
Never asked out someone in school. It was usually a guy that went to another school, or worked at NASA. Oh yeah, 50 intelligent men 22-25 years old to every woman.
 
  • #27
raw said:
I talk to them. I ask them about classes and their opinions on professors and so on. I make sure to make eye contact and seem interested.
Speaking as a (typical socially inept) guy, I'd read that as friendly conversation. It comes across as "I don't hate you but I'm not interested in you."

Then again, what do I know :rolleyes:
 
  • #28
Oh Jesus guys. I can't believe no one is saying the obvious reason. They're shy! They're physics guys for goodness sake and in general they're introverted and also they're young like you and mostly inexperienced, I mean, "what I'm gonna' do with her once I get her?" kinda' thing. You've got to pretty much hold their hands (help them meet you). I know, it's embarrassing but true for girls in general and not just for physics guys. By the time a girl hits 20 or so, she is supremely experienced in dating, in general anyway. Guys, many anyway, no. Not even close.
 
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  • #29
I'm rather surprised no one in your Physics classes has hit on you, don't you have any male friends in these classes, because that's almost always a starting point for these kinds of things.

Anyways your possible relationships don't always have to be confined to people in the Physics department. If your school has some kind of common place like a lounge or a library you could always try striking up a conversation there.

You'd be surprised how receptive men are to a pretty girl saying hello.
 
  • #30
If that's you in your profile pic, I'd just pull a move like that in front of them. Demonstrate your 'flexibility' so to speak. :tongue2:
 
  • #31
I'd say true about subtleness and true about shyness. From my time at uni I recall the same image mentioned by raw, that in a lecturer hall of 50 or more there would often be only 2-3 girls and the excuses I back then would conjure up in order not go over and talk to them was a mixture of 1) "she is probably tired of constantly being contacted by boys", 2) "if I talk to her she will think I'm trying to hit on her", 3) "if I talk to her, the other boys will think I'm trying to hit on her", 4) "if she sits with another girl that must mean she doesn't want to talk with boys", 5) "if I talk to her and she turns out nice I may fall in love with her (yeah, young boys can fall in love with just a smile and a kind word)".

Eventually I came to the conclusion that that all those excuses were nonsense, so I ended up talking to whomever I sat next to regardless of gender or, like when grouping for exercises, when someone sad alone but looked interested to group. And girls often showed to be much more easy to talk with than boys who, unless they were friends, often brought a competitive edge to the conversation.

So, what I guess I'm trying to say is, if you want boys to talk with you then by all means start talking to them, and if you want to take it further than classroom talk then smiling that special smile should pave the way for you to bring out something like Evo's pickup line in case he is too shy to act on your smiling alone. Starting out with the pickup line too fast may work but it will probably also scare some off.

And I can't believe I'm sitting here trying to be clever on this topic ...
 
  • #32
raw said:
The thing is if I'm rejected I will have to face that guy almost daily in class...

That may be *exactly* what the guys in your class are thinking, only with the gender parity switched.

So maybe peruse the chemistry, math, or engineering departments?
 
  • #33
Well there you go. You know, there is some benefit to being rejected: they know where you stand. You like them. Of course if you act like a jerk and treat them crummy cus' they rejected you, then no benefit to you. But if, after being so horrendously defeated, you're still nice, say hi, maybe even a smile or two, but nothing too forward, well, that's golden: you're still there so if things change, well, you already got a foot in the door is all I'm sayin'. At least that's how a guy should be. Maybe though different for a female.
 
  • #34
Continue showing interest after being rejected and you stand a good chance of being used for casual sex. That could do more harm than good if you misinterpret this as their desire to be with you.
 
  • #35
Why is this thread still going on. Ask a guy out to lunch. Done.

If this was a guy having problems with girls, everyone would have just been like "ask the girl out. done". Done! Girls should have to play the same annoying games guys have to.
 
<h2>What is it with guys my age?</h2><p>As a scientist, I have found that there are five frequently asked questions about this topic. Here are the answers:</p><h2>1. Why do guys my age seem so immature?</h2><p>It is a common misconception that all guys of a certain age are immature. However, it is important to remember that everyone matures at their own pace and not all individuals are at the same level of maturity at the same age. Additionally, societal and cultural factors can also play a role in how individuals behave and perceive maturity.</p><h2>2. Why do guys my age only seem interested in physical appearance?</h2><p>While it may seem like guys your age are only interested in physical appearance, this is not always the case. At a young age, physical attraction can play a bigger role in initial attraction, but as individuals mature, they often look for deeper connections and qualities in a potential partner.</p><h2>3. Why do guys my age seem so focused on hooking up rather than relationships?</h2><p>Again, this can vary from person to person. Some guys may be more interested in casual hookups, while others may be seeking more serious relationships. It is important to communicate your own intentions and boundaries in any potential relationship.</p><h2>4. Why do guys my age seem so afraid of commitment?</h2><p>Commitment can be a scary thing for anyone, regardless of their age or gender. It is important to remember that not all guys are afraid of commitment and those who are may have their own personal reasons for it. It is important to have open and honest communication about expectations and feelings in any relationship.</p><h2>5. Why do guys my age seem so inexperienced?</h2><p>Inexperience can be a result of a variety of factors such as lack of opportunity, personal preferences, or simply being at a different stage in life. It is important to remember that everyone has their own unique experiences and it is not fair to generalize all guys your age as inexperienced.</p>

What is it with guys my age?

As a scientist, I have found that there are five frequently asked questions about this topic. Here are the answers:

1. Why do guys my age seem so immature?

It is a common misconception that all guys of a certain age are immature. However, it is important to remember that everyone matures at their own pace and not all individuals are at the same level of maturity at the same age. Additionally, societal and cultural factors can also play a role in how individuals behave and perceive maturity.

2. Why do guys my age only seem interested in physical appearance?

While it may seem like guys your age are only interested in physical appearance, this is not always the case. At a young age, physical attraction can play a bigger role in initial attraction, but as individuals mature, they often look for deeper connections and qualities in a potential partner.

3. Why do guys my age seem so focused on hooking up rather than relationships?

Again, this can vary from person to person. Some guys may be more interested in casual hookups, while others may be seeking more serious relationships. It is important to communicate your own intentions and boundaries in any potential relationship.

4. Why do guys my age seem so afraid of commitment?

Commitment can be a scary thing for anyone, regardless of their age or gender. It is important to remember that not all guys are afraid of commitment and those who are may have their own personal reasons for it. It is important to have open and honest communication about expectations and feelings in any relationship.

5. Why do guys my age seem so inexperienced?

Inexperience can be a result of a variety of factors such as lack of opportunity, personal preferences, or simply being at a different stage in life. It is important to remember that everyone has their own unique experiences and it is not fair to generalize all guys your age as inexperienced.

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