Jestilla Atilla's Journey Through the Warp: A Warhammer 40k Tale

  • Thread starter Drakkith
  • Start date
  • Tags
    Warp
In summary, Jestilla is married to Marcus, who she thought had died in the battle against the Orks. She is at the cathedral to celebrate their union when the daemon priest starts speaking and she falls into a memory of Marcus that makes her head hurt. The daemon fetches a prayer book and she remembers that Marcus is alive and standing next to her. The pain in her head fades and she is able to hug Marcus tightly.
  • #1
Drakkith
Mentor
22,872
7,229
Hey guys. Just wanting a bit of feedback on the beginnings of a short story. It's set in the Warhammer 40k universe and is kind of dark, so be warned. And since I'm terrible at choosing names I just used my own for one of the characters for now.

* * * * * * *

The priest was a daemon. Her eyes closed, Jestilla inhaled the scent of hot ashes mixed with the pleasant smell of her wedding cake and the aroma of cologne her fiancee had splashed on a little too strongly. It reminded her of...of something...something that made her head hurt.

“Are you alright my dear?” asked the priest. His voice was happy and he was well spoken, with just a hint of a highborn accent coming through. “Can we begin this glorious celebration now?” He asked. “After all, it is a rare occasion indeed that someone with my kind of background is able to perform the duties of the church.”

Daemon. The sight of him was the last thing she wanted to see when she finally opened her eyes. She was standing at the front of a grand cathedral, dressed in a white wedding dress that fit well over her athletic, graceful frame. A veil covered her frizzy red hair and fell lightly over her face. The daemon priest towered over her, clad in ornate power armor, dark green with a sickly purple trim and covered in glowing runic script that seemed to dance and flow, changing form before her eyes. An eight-pointed star that made her head hurt just looking at it sat atop a burning staff in his right hand. But the worst was his face, the pallid flesh and his terrible smile beaming out at her as if this was the happiest thing he could be doing right now.

Her gaze made it to his eyes and she wished that she had never looked upon them. A tight, bright red iris surrounded blackness that she could barely tear herself from. He stared past her into the distance, unfocused, as if she wasn’t quite there.

The daemon fetched a prayer book from a nearby pedestal and began flipping through quickly, his gauntleted hands somehow nimble enough to turn each individual page. “Oh where to begin?” He asked himself.

Jestilla glanced behind her at the nearly empty rows of seats. This wasn’t the way she remembered it. There were more people. As if triggered by the thought, a half dozen people dressed in fine clothes appeared in the seats and smiled up at her. A few even had tears in their eyes. A girl who looked familiar but that she couldn’t place waved and mouthed “You’re so beautiful.”

“Outstanding!” the daemon exclaimed. “More guests are always welcome.” He finished flipping through the prayer book and tossed it aside. She watched it burst into flames as it fell, disintegrating completely before it hit the floor. “Should we wait for the groom?” he asked.

No groom? Jestilla glanced to her right to the empty spot that Marcus should have occupied. A thought jolted through her mind. No! Don’t think of him!

“No!” she accidentally said, throwing a hand to her head as a stabbing pain shot through it.

The daemon chuckled. “As you wish my dear.” He cleared his throat and began to speak, his voice rising to echo around the cathedral. “Dearly beloved!” He began, his free hand moving in time with his speech. “We are gathered here today to bear witness to the union of Jestilla Atilla and...” he trailed off and turned to her, his gaze focused above and beyond her. “What did you say his name was again?” He asked, his smile becoming slightly wider.

“Ngghhh..” Jestilla grimaced as pain flared in her head again.

“I’m sorry I didn’t quite catch that.” He leaned in closer and the glow of his eyes flared.

“Ahh! Marcus!” She cried, faltering and nearly falling over from the pain.

“The union of Jestilla Atilla and Marcus!” the daemon shouted to the small crowd. They clapped politely, the sound barely reaching Jestilla in the front.

The pain subsided and she recovered as the daemon continued, reciting familiar words about matrimony and duty to the Emperor.

“Jestilla.” a voice, not much louder than a whisper, came from her right. She looked over and Marcus was there. Just as she remembered. Full dress uniform tailored to fit him perfectly. A small assortment of medals hung from his left breast. His name-tag shined on his right, but the name was...smudged out, unreadable.

She looked to his face, round and cute, and to his eyes, glowing a soft blue. Glowing blue? Marcus had green eyes...

Her eyes widened with recognition. “Drakk?” she asked. Something seemed to click in her mind and she quickly looked around “Where am I?”

He smiled down at her, the boyish face of her fiancee contrasting sharply with her memory of the person now speaking through him. “You are trapped in your own mind Jestilla. You were captured. Do you remember?” He asked quietly.

He eyes darted back and forth as she searched her mind. “Yes. I was on Port Malfion, infiltrating a chaos cult. They had something. Something vitally important. I...I can’t remember what it was...”

Drakk brought a hand to her cheek. “It’s okay. We can worry about that later. Right now you need to listen to me. Can you do that?” Jestilla nodded and he continued. “Okay. Zuriel is searching your mind. I don’t know what for, and it doesn’t matter right now.”

“Zuriel?” She asked, searching her memory again. “I...I know him.” Jestilla’s eyes opened wide as she suddenly understood. Tears sprang forth and began to run down her cheeks as the full horror of the situation dawned on her. “Oh by the Emperor...” She said. “Drakk help me! Get me out of here! Please!”

“I am trying Jess, but you are so very far away.”

“Don’t let him take me Drakk!” She hissed.

“I won’t. I promise. But I need time. You have to keep him at bay until I get there. Remember your training.”

Jestilla quickly nodded. “I know. I remember.”

“Excuse me but we are trying to have a wedding here.” the daemon said, scowling at them. He had finished his speech and now his attention was on the couple in front of him. He leaned toward Drakk and recognition suddenly appeared on his face “Brother! So glad you could make it.”

“Zuriel.” Drakk spat back. “You are no brother of mine! I am coming for her and I’m bringing the fury of the Emperor with me.”

Zuriel jerked back as laughter erupted from him. He threw his free hand in the air as he exclaimed, “The FURY of the Emperor! The GLORY of the Emperor! What next, the incontinence of the Emperor?” His smile faded and his face turned to cold fury as he leaned in again. “I have been hearing about the fury and glory of your pathetic excuse for an Emperor for ten-thousand years and after one-hundred centuries I grow tired of your pointless threats.”

Zuriel reach out and lifted the groom up by his neck until his feet were kicking wildly in the air. He held him straight out at arms length as a wicked grin spread across his face.

“I’ll tell you what’s going to happen brother. I am going to take your agent here, your most trusted companion, and I am going to violate her.” He turned towards Jestilla, his eyes flaring, searching for but not seeing her. “You heard me my dear. I am going find you and do things to you that would make even a Chapter Master weep.” His grin got wider and Jestilla had no doubt that he was telling the truth. “Things that would make him beg for mercy and cower like a beaten dog.” He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply before replying. “And I am going to enjoy it.”

Drakk hissed something from behind clenched teeth.

“What’s that brother?” Zuriel asked, turning to him.

“Emperor damn you Zuriel.” He managed to get out.

Zuriel brought his staff up and touched the eight-pointed star to Drakk’s forehead. “Go away now.” He said with a grin. Black lightning erupted from his staff and the form of Marcus simply disintegrated into the air leaving nothing but a few ashes that were drawn upwards until they disappeared.

Jestilla recoiled in shock at the sight. Fear buried itself in her chest and she backpedaled a few steps, turned, and ran down the aisle, two hands holding her dress off the ground as she went. Guests lined up down the side, clapping and cheering as she sprinted by. Their smiles and congratulations were just as she remembered from four-hundred years back when she had married her first husband Marcus, now dead for over three-quarters of that time. She waded through thrown rice as laughter echoed loudly through the cathedral, following her as she barreled through the front door and out into the night.

“Run Jestilla! For when I find you I am going to break you! I am going to tear you apart! I will rip open your very essence and feed your soul piece by piece to the gods of chaos while your Emperor watches on in horror!”

And she ran.
 
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #2
I don't know the world, but I liked it enough to read to the end.
 
  • #3
Cool story :) I'm not into WH but I've read a few of the books. This nicey fits the very dark theme of the setting. Do you have any plans to wright more?
 
  • #4
Wow WH40K! My son has a big collection of Dark Eldar (I think) and used to have Space Marines. I'll forward the story to him to see what he suggests.
 
  • #5
Nice start, but I can't tell you much more--don't know where you're going with this. Sorry, not that familiar with WH40K, although they have an interesting process turning out(for lack of a better word) those Space Marines.
 
  • #6
Drakkith said:
“Excuse me but we are trying to have a wedding here.” the daemon said, scowling at them. He had finished his speech and now his attention was on the couple in front of him. He leaned toward Drakk and recognition suddenly appeared on his face “Brother! So glad you could make it.”

“Zuriel.” Drakk spat back. “You are no brother of mine! I am coming for her and I’m bringing the fury of the Emperor with me.

Zuriel jerked back as laughter erupted from him. He threw his free hand in the air as he exclaimed, “The FURY of the Emperor! The GLORY of the Emperor! What next, the incontinence of the Emperor?” His smile faded and his face turned to cold fury as he leaned in again. “I have been hearing about the fury and glory of your pathetic excuse for an Emperor for ten-thousand years and after one-hundred centuries I grow tired of your pointless threats.”

Zuriel reach out and lifted the groom up by his neck until his feet were kicking wildly in the air. He held him straight out at arms length as a wicked grin spread across his face.

I found it good enough to read to the end too. Good job!

I found the part in bold is "loose" as too who is doing/saying what. allot of "His/He" as opposed to character descriptors. & seems light on the "politics" of what's happening.

Just guessing but I imagine the the daemon is mocking Drakk, an is completely unfazed by the prospect of a physical conflict. (a la Loki in Avengers).


For the underlined part, I thought he was already next to her. I don't know Warhammer, or about this emperor fury. But maybe emperor fury isn't something physical that can be brought. Maybe Drak is fueled by, driven by, backed by the fury of the Emperor.With the line " His smile faded and his face turned to cold fury as he leaned in again."
I'd think of another descriptor instead of using the term "Fury" again, and reserve the idea of "Fury" to the emperor side of the conflict.
 
Last edited:
  • #7
nitsuj said:
I found it good enough to read to the end too. Good job!

I found the part in bold is "loose" as too who is doing/saying what. allot of "His/He" as opposed to character descriptors. & seems light on the "politics" of what's happening.

Thanks for the feedback!

Just guessing but I imagine the the daemon is mocking Drakk, an is completely unfazed by the prospect of a physical conflict.

Pretty much.

For the underlined part, I thought he was already next to her. I don't know Warhammer, or about this emperor fury. But maybe emperor fury isn't something physical that can be brought. Maybe Drak is fueled, driven by, backed by the fury of the Emperor

Correct again. And he's beside her, but in "spirit" only. He's psychically projecting himself into her mind, but is so far away that he can't actively do anything other than speak. So when he says he's coming for her, he means he's physically searching for her in the real world.

As for the Emperor, you can read more about him here if you'd like: http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Emperor_of_Mankind
 
  • #8
Drakkith said:
Correct again. And he's beside her, but in "spirit" only. He's psychically projecting himself into her mind, but is so far away that he can't actively do anything other than speak. So when he says he's coming for her, he means he's physically searching for her in the real world.

As for the Emperor, you can read more about him here if you'd like: http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Emperor_of_Mankind

I got that idea he was there in spirit only, but then the story went on to where Zuriel /daemon reaches out and grabs Drak, which still seems logically "normal" but then Drak struggles so I thought he was physically there.

Thanks for the link!
 
  • #9
nitsuj said:
I got that idea he was there in spirit only, but then the story went on to where Zuriel /daemon reaches out and grabs Drak, which still seems logically "normal" but then Drak struggles so I thought he was physically there.

Thanks for the link!

Ah I see. He's supposed to be "occupying" the body of Marcus, her late husband.
 
  • #10
I suppose you wrote more? Or are you just teasing us?
 
  • #11
More!
 
  • #12
Borek said:
I suppose you wrote more? Or are you just teasing us?

It's in work. I just started working on something else. Maybe I'll get back to it now that I have some encouragement!
 
  • #13
Drakkith said:
Ah I see. He's supposed to be "occupying" the body of Marcus, her late husband.

Opps, Reading comprehension fail on my part. :tongue: I re-read and see "Marcus was there [in full uniform just as she remembered but eyes were wrong color]".

But if Marcus is her late husband, he would have been there in spirit too (wouldn't he?), and that means a spirit in a spirit!
 
Last edited:
  • #14
Oh and is there a "method" to how you [STRIKE]right[/STRIKE] write?
 
  • #15
nitsuj said:
I re-read and see "Marcus was there [in full uniform just as she remembered but eyes were wrong color]".

But if Marcus is her late husband, he would have been there in spirit too (wouldn't he?), and that means a spirit in a spirit!
No, the Daemon is creating the thought that it's her deceased husband, there is nothing actually related to her husband there.
 
  • #16
nitsuj said:
Oh and is there a "method" to how you [STRIKE]right[/STRIKE] write?

A method? I don't think so. I have very little idea of what I'm doing. It's very difficult.
 
  • #17
Drakkith said:
A method? I don't think so. I have very little idea of what I'm doing. It's very difficult.

Oh ! So have you played "Warhammer 40k The Dawn of War" and its sequels also ? That game was a bit satisfying but not very good. I only wished variations and good storyline in the campaign. The thing which I liked the most is the Ork's speeches, yells and of course orks clamouring to their war boss : "You'z d boss ! " :rofl:

I liked Warcraft III and World of Warcraft much more. As you can see in my profile display picture of the Lich King Arthas - The harbinger of darkness ... :devil:
 
  • #18
sankalpmittal said:
Oh ! So have you played "Warhammer 40k The Dawn of War" and its sequels also ? That game was a bit satisfying but not very good. I only wished variations and good storyline in the campaign. The thing which I liked the most is the Ork's speeches, yells and of course orks clamouring to their war boss : "You'z d boss ! " :rofl:

Yes I've played all of them. I really liked the Orks as well. Especially in the 2nd game.

I liked Warcraft III and World of Warcraft much more. As you can see in my profile display picture of the Lich King Arthas - The harbinger of darkness ... :devil:

Agreed! The Lich King was one of my absolute favorite characters, and the entire storyline of how Arthas turns into the Lich King and what he does is amazing.
 
  • #19
Do you happen to know the Forgotten Realms? There were a series of books written by R.A. Salvatore revolving around a dark elf Drizzt Do'Urden set in the Forgotten Realms that I was insanely,INSANELY obsessed with (not to mention Baldur's Gate and Neverwinter Nights were also set in the Realms). I always wanted to write something based off of that, set also in Forgotten Realms; this was way back in like 8th grade when I was really into writing. Alas HS came along and I forgot all about that and now it fades back in as just another past aspiration. This post has motivated me to get back at it lol. Thanks =D
 
  • #20
Yeah, I read a book or two, but I'm REALLY weird when it comes to reading and I never got into any more than that. It may have just been that the authors writing style just didn't work for me. Or maybe it's my ADHD. Dunno.
 
  • #21
I think if I had to sum up my childhood it would have been 40% R.A. Salvatore books, 40% video games, and 20% PBS shows lol.
 
  • #22
Tell me if this is funny or not:

He shifted and twisted, trying the fit out, and then turned to her. “You do excellent work. My uniform hasn’t fit this well since my promotion party when I made Captain.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Had a few too many that night and there was an inspection the next day. So there I am, in the middle of the night in my tent, surrounded by a dozen passed out officers, and I’ve got this little fragment of a mirror that I’m using to try to put my new rank on my uniform.”

“Just a fragment?”

“Yeah, let’s just say the mirror hadn’t made it through the party in good shape.”

“Oh no!”

“Anyways, I’ve got this fragment, and I’m wearing my uniform, trying to tack my bars on.”

“Why didn’t you just put your coat on a hangar and then do it?”

“Just wait! So there I am. I’ve got my bars and for some reason they won’t go in. I’ve tried half a dozen times, and I’m pressing them in so hard I can feel the spikes on the backside poking me. But it won’t stay on!”

“Really?”

“Yeah! So I get frustrated, and finally I just jam it in as hard as I can, so hard I swear the spikes are sticking into me. And just then the door opens and the Major stumbles in.”

“The Major?”

“Yeah, our squadron commander. He stumbles in, a bottle in hand, and he sees me. Then he looks down and sees everyone else. He looks back up at me and goes, Son, what’s going on here? And I turn to him and say, Sir, I’m getting ready for inspection! Trying to put my new rank on my coat! And he stares at me for a second. Then he looks past me and says, Son, isn’t that your uniform on that hangar right there?”

“No!”

“Yes! I turn around and right there is my service coat, with one of my rank insignia already on it.”

“Then whose were you wearing darling?”

“Well, I look down, and suddenly it clicks in my mind. I’m not wearing a uniform at all! I’ve been trying to pin my rank to my own collarbone the whole time!”

“What?!”

“So I look back up at him and say, No sir, I’m wearing my uniform. Don’t you see my rank? And I point to the Captain’s bars stuck in me. And he looks at them, then back at my coat on the hangar, then back at me, and he says, Captain, that’s the best fitting uniform I’ve ever seen! If there were a medal for dress and appearance I’d pin it right to your chest!”

She stifled a laugh.

“Then he salutes me, turns, and walks out the door. I go to get my coat from the hangar and the door opens. It’s the Major again. He points the bottle at the rank on my collarbone and says, By the way Son, I’d go to the medical tent and get that looked at. The one time I tried pinning my rank to my collarbone I wound up with a nasty infection. Then he downs the rest of the bottle right in front of me, and falls facedown on the floor where he spends the rest of the night.”

“So what did you do?”

“What else? I went to the medical tent and got myself checked out like the Major said!”
 
  • #23
Drakkith said:
Tell me if this is funny or not:

Funny enough :biggrin:
 
  • #24
Drakkith said:
...The priest was a daemon..

The priest was a background process?
Fun idea... :smile:
 

1. What is "Jestilla Atilla's Journey Through the Warp: A Warhammer 40k Tale" about?

"Jestilla Atilla's Journey Through the Warp: A Warhammer 40k Tale" is a science fiction novel that follows the adventures of a young warrior named Jestilla Atilla as she navigates the treacherous and chaotic Warp in the Warhammer 40k universe.

2. Is this book based on real scientific principles?

While the Warhammer 40k universe is based on science fiction and fantasy, there are some elements and concepts that are rooted in real scientific theories and principles. However, the book primarily focuses on storytelling and entertainment rather than scientific accuracy.

3. Is this book suitable for all ages?

The Warhammer 40k universe is known for its dark and violent themes, so "Jestilla Atilla's Journey Through the Warp" may not be suitable for younger readers. The book is recommended for mature audiences due to its graphic content.

4. Are there any sequels or prequels to this book?

As of now, "Jestilla Atilla's Journey Through the Warp" is a standalone novel. However, the Warhammer 40k universe is vast and constantly expanding, so there may be potential for future books or spin-offs featuring Jestilla Atilla.

5. Can I learn more about the Warhammer 40k universe through this book?

"Jestilla Atilla's Journey Through the Warp" is a work of fiction and may not accurately represent all aspects of the Warhammer 40k universe. However, it can serve as an introduction to the universe and its lore for those who are new to it.

Similar threads

  • Sci-Fi Writing and World Building
2
Replies
48
Views
4K
  • Biology and Medical
Replies
7
Views
2K
Replies
8
Views
789
  • STEM Academic Advising
Replies
1
Views
174
  • Sci-Fi Writing and World Building
Replies
2
Views
2K
  • Set Theory, Logic, Probability, Statistics
2
Replies
45
Views
3K
  • Special and General Relativity
2
Replies
66
Views
5K
  • General Discussion
Replies
6
Views
1K
  • General Discussion
Replies
3
Views
1K
Replies
14
Views
2K
Back
Top