Dealing with bullies in school

[saltydog]

Dude, there is nothing that would be acceptable to you that you can do. That's ok though. Just try to survive; your 20's are the best time in your life and worth the effort to live up to getting there. This is a joke my son and I have:

I once was in a bank. I noticed a guy applying for a loan. He used to be a bully in school but the bank officer he was talking to was also someone I knew from school that was picked on all the time. Here's the joke:

"I'm sorry, your loan application has been . . .DENIED!" Well, according to my records, your application has been . . .DENIED!. Hum, let's see, . . . DENIED! "What do we have here: DENIED!"

Cheers,
Salty

 

[gravenewworld]

You could always just make fun of the moron for being 17 and still having to ride the school bus instead of driving. What did he do, fail the driver's license test?

 

[Chronos]

Stories of heroism are inspiring, but do not stop the madness. The sooner you address the problem directly, the sooner it will be solved. If you don't make a stand, you really are a wimp. If you tire of that, try a different approach. I'm not saying my approach is superior, just that it's better than accepting being a victim. If I was on a bus, any bus, and some morons hassled me, I would file charges. I dang sure wouldn't care what they, or any other morons on the bus, thought about me for asserting my right to be left alone.

 

[tribdog]

the truth of the matter is that you have several options, but none of them are appealing. You need to weigh the pros and cons of each one and pick the least objectionable. I'd like to point out a few things though.
1. Telling them to stop/using big words/yelling at them: these would be a futile effort. It won't make them stop and will give them fodder for future arguements. If they get a big reaction out of you they win, that's what they are going for.
2. trenchcoat/blow up the bus/columbine reinactment: don't. I will personally kick your butt if I hear a news report saying "we know the shooter was a member of something called "Physicsforums" an online cult now under investigation."
3. fight back: be prepared to get suspended, try to get the first shot, don't try anything fancy, don't do it if there is a chance they won't stop or if they'd gang up on you. It doesn't really hurt that much to get punched, adrenaline is pretty amazing. just don't get injured and don't try to injure them. black eye is cool gouging out the eye is not.
4. tell on them: try to keep it anonymous if you do it.
5.Sit by the driver: wussie move, but safest.

If you were 10 and having this problem I'd say fight. At 17 it is a bit different and fighting shouldn't be an adult's response. All I can tell you is don't worry it ends after high school, graduate and you won't have to deal with this kind of behavior. ps why don't you drive yourself instead of taking the bus?

 

[the number 42]

Get the bus driver fired? What the hell?

Where I come from, the bus driver is there to drive the frigging bus, not to mess about with a bunch of kids arguing.

Have I missed something completely?

Right. The drivers drive, and the police ride shotgun.
http://www.tfl.gov.uk/buses/press-releases/2005/january/press-020.shtml

 

[the number 42]

Bully: You're a loser.
You: Am I, or is it the light of the sun against my socks that shrouds your perspective. They might laugh at you...

:rofl:
..or they might make you a zen master and fall at your holy feet. Dooga, a career in standup comedy is yours for the taking.

 

[the number 42]

If you don't make a stand, you really are a wimp. ... If I was on a bus, any bus, and some morons hassled me, I would file charges.

:rofl:
Go, Rambo!

 

[scholar]

If you were 10 and having this problem I'd say fight. At 17 it is a bit different and fighting shouldn't be an adult's response. All I can tell you is don't worry it ends after high school, graduate and you won't have to deal with this kind of behavior. ps why don't you drive yourself instead of taking the bus?

That was my thought as well. If you were a few years younger I would advise you to pick fights with a couple of them, but at your age the police could get involved with assault charges etc. I'm surprised this behaviour goes on, I guess some 17 year olds at your school still act like they were 13. At my school by the time we were 17 we thought we were adults and acted as such. :rofl:

Anyway, it does end as soon as you graduate, so I guess you don't have much longer to stick it out if you choose that course of action. Best of luck.

 

[Astronuc]

Tribdog did a nice summary of the option. Along the lines of Chronos, you could simply address the bullies (i.e. stand up to them), without insult or threat, and just tell them to stop picking on you. Do it on the bus in front of everyone, but be nice about it.

If that does not work, then get the bus driver, parents, school authorities involved (as others have pointed out), more or less in that order, until someone makes these guys stop.

Bullying is not OK!

 

[misogynisticfeminist]

When I'm age 18 and below and relatively free from the law (i won't get charged in the court of law for assault as an adult or anything), violence would be an option. I used to be very timid and constantly bullied but after hanging out with a few group of close friends who taught me somewhat how to stand up for myself. I am a little bigger in size, so i am in an advantage when involved in a fight, somewhat.

I think its ok to get involved in fights but as long as the law don't catch up with you and you are mature enough to understand violence is not always the solution (but occasionaly, it can be).

One practical advice though, send someone you know who's big and tough and tatooed and everything on the bus, and talk as if you're lifelong buddies. I think a few stares by him should give you peace for quite a while.

 

[Artman]

I am worried that you will regret not doing something yourself to try and end this.

If you go to the authorities, the bullies will assume it was you that ended their fun while it was still "fun" for them. You will still suffer their insults etc.; I doubt that can be completely stopped by intervention of adults.

Physics solution: calculate the combined mass of all the objects thrown at you, and select one object that equals it to throw back. Of course if you throw it a little too hard, you could say you had to estimate the force. Just kidding, don't stoop to their level.

1. Telling them to stop/using big words/yelling at them: these would be a futile effort. It won't make them stop and will give them fodder for future arguements. If they get a big reaction out of you they win, that's what they are going for.

I agree with this, however, not if your reaction is calm, in control and makes them look bad. They aren't going to bring it up again if they look bad.

Make the whole process sound as stupid and petty as it is.

Honestly, this does work. I used to get picked on nearly every day during a 7 mile each way bus ride. It stopped the day after I stood up to them verbally for picking on me. It takes guts to do it because it is taking a stand, but it is nonviolent (unless they begin a fight). Even if it doesn't work, you can respect yourself. Then go to the authorities.

 

[Norman]

Physics is Phun,

We haven't heard from you lately. It has been a couple of days, I guess it would be nice to hear if anything has helped or not... or what you think of everyone's advice.
Cheers.

 

[gravenewworld]

Despite what people say violence solves conflicts-thats how wars are won. Now go kick some ass.

 

[Physics is Phun]

Well, thank for all the helpful advice guys. I am sure some of it will be helpful. I don't think I am really at the point of complaining to the bus company. Anyway if it came to that I would rather skip over that phase and take chonos' advice and charge them. I think you are right that throwing stuff back at them is useless, I have tried but I find that I don't have nearly enough stuff to throw at them. Also getting angy really doesn't solve the problem however talking rationally doesn't seem to do anything either. If i try to say anything I am usually responded to by what I just said in a stupid, high pitched, "impression" I think it bus location that is important. I am finding I like the advice to sit in close proximity to either a huge guy or a hot girl, as both would reduce the throwing of anything damaging (rock) or staining (pudding) also either sitting close to the driver or farther back is a good idea. When up at the front it is too far to aim properly and when in the back it is too close to miss so it seems it would take some of the fun out of it. also if i am sitting very close I can keep an eye on the back of the bus and tell where the projectile is coming from.
Well thank everyone. Keep the ideas coming if you like, as I am sure they will be helpful.

 

[Bartholomew]

You could get a nice street bike and ride that instead of taking the bus. How long is your bus ride?

 

[Gale]

I was never picked on in too much in school, except for the guys who think its flirting. There was a kid on our bus who was picked on a ton though and it got really scary for a while. The kids would throw really hard stuff or really messy stuff, and no they didn't care who they hit on accident. He always sat in the front nearest to the driver he could. He as quiet mostly except when he'd get really hard and then he'd tweak and yell about how lame they were and all those other fun threats. These guys were used to getting in trouble though, and really, i think two got suspended from the bus for a while, and still they didn't quit. Violence would have never worked, because again, these guys would've probably loved to see this poor kid try and fight them.

Basically he did about everything you guys mentioned except blow up the bus. Moral: blow up the bus, its the only thing that'll stop them!

Just kidding. Seriously though, the whole bus started getting really afraid that he would do that. finally me and pleanty of other people started sticking up for him. It was horrible watching him get hit so much and picked on. At first it was just a few girls yelling at the bullies, then a few guys too. Soon half the bus was telling them to quit it and shut up. And eventually even their friends were feeling put out, so they just sort of quit. They stopped throwing stuff especially. A few insults remained but someone else would yell shove it and they'd quit.

Basically my advice, and considering i just graduated high school this year, its at least recent and hopefully good, but i'd say, try and play on the pity of your classmates. It took a long time for us to say anything because this kid was really weird and he freaked us all out. So be as normal as you can to make other kids comfortable with you. try and be friendly. just make the other kids relate to you so they realize how much it would suck if they were you. if you can, maybe talk to someone, crazy idea, but if you're nice, they'll be nice too. Girls are especially empathetic, so try and relate to them. Be polite, girls like that too. along with that, i guess i'd also talk to the bus driver or some authority. If you have a few friends on the bus, you won't seem so cheap for tattling, they'll understand, and defend you for that too.

Good luck, i hope it all works out

 

[Chronos]

Avoidance is not an answer. Cheeping like a chicken might get you through high school. The big question is: Do you want to live your life being bullied into living like others think you should?

 

[tribdog]

I have tried but I find that I don't have nearly enough stuff to throw at them.

I'm looking for something to throw at you. if you regularly make comments like that one I'd make fun of you too.

 

[Smurf]

are the suseptible to embarassment? most bullies do it for standing within a social group, if you make them look like an idiot, it'll likely tone it down possible end all together.
Confront them, mention things like acting like a 13 year old and should be acting like adults, make sure it's somewhere public where people will see it, speak loudly.

 

[Artman]

Begin talking with people about your extensive weapon collection.

 

[Bartholomew]

Avoidance is not an answer. Cheeping like a chicken might get you through high school. The big question is: Do you want to live your life being bullied into living like others think you should?

Riding a bike instead is not just avoidance. It's invigorating physical exercise. If there are very many of the bullies then fighting/throwing back is not an option, and calling authorities into it is also not much of an option. It's even better if you live in the city where you can be _faster_ than the bus because you can slip through traffic. And eventually if you ride your bike enough you'll be in great shape.

 

[Francis M]

Most of these suggestions are good, but it all depends on who the bullies are and the situation. You'll have to gauge that when trying these things. Making them look stupid only works if they see they are being stupid/childish. If they don't or just don't care it won't work. Gale 17 had a good one with the rest of the bus getting on them. It didn't seem to change their attitude and maybe they sought other people to pick on away from the bus but at least it cowed them with the idea that a bigger more powerful group of people had had enough and weren't going to put up with their **** anymore. COnfronting them may only escalate the problem even if you can beat them in a fight. THey may simply gang up on you (as to say nothing of legal turn about if their parents take you to court for assaulting their kids). You can try as many of these things as you want to see if they work, if none of them do in the end, you'll just have to be strong enough to not let it set the tone and your attitude for the rest of your life and remember that adult life usually deals a harsh wake up call to those types if they don't change.

 

[Ba]

I remember in Junior High people were throwing things at me, after a while I just blew up and that actually stopped it. I was hit in the shoulder with an apple and I just turned around and threw it as hard as I could. I also used to be a pitcher for a while, I also took out a few people playing soccer and football, it worked.

 

[honestrosewater]

I watched "Taxi Driver" last night and have the answer- get a mohawk.

 

[Norman]

A mohawk does look tough but the addition of a sidearm tends to lend a lot of credibility to the wearer!

 

[honestrosewater]

A mohawk does look tough but the addition of a sidearm tends to lend a lot of credibility to the wearer!

Yeah, bring a mirror on the bus with you... You talkin' to me? :rofl:

 

[rocketboy]

Use the law of inertia:

Big heavy physics book = Pain

Very funny you should mention that...my friend (when we were in grade 9) got shoved into a locker by a grade 10. He happened to have his science textbook on him at the time (biggest text in grade 9) and hucked it at the guys head...I don't think the guy shoved him into a locker again.

 

[sid_galt]

I was wondering if you could fix a capacitor on your hands and give them the shock of their lives?

 

[Moonbear]

That would just make them mad. I also think trying to fight back with a capacitor is also a strong indicator of nerd-ness.

 

[dextercioby]

Yaaaaaarrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhh,that's true,cap'n Boonmear...:tongue2:The nerds have taken over GD and soon they'll be fighting the geeks and once they're done with'em,they can start killing threads with pirates on the birthday of Loren Booda,isn't my doggy cute...?

Daniel.

 

[motai]

Very funny you should mention that...my friend (when we were in grade 9) got shoved into a locker by a grade 10. He happened to have his science textbook on him at the time (biggest text in grade 9) and hucked it at the guys head...I don't think the guy shoved him into a locker again.

Science strikes back!