How moving affects your relationship/family

[LBloom]

Hi guys,

So I'm still an undergrad so this doesn't quite affect me yet, but it was something i was thinking about: how does the search for jobs and moving around affected your relationship with ur gf/bf/wife/husband/whatever?

When you're single and you want to go to a certain grad school or get a post doc position and its not close to where you're living, you can usually just move and do whatever is better for your career, but for those who were in a relationship where your partner is either in school or working, how did you manage?
Do you just look for grad schools and post doc position near by so you don't have to move or just have a longer commute? (i'm not sure how many post doc positions there are in a given region) Have you decided to move and had your partner just get a new job there or have you had to turn down a better position to avoid this problem?

Maybe I'm just worrying too soon, but it was something i was thinking about.

 

[lisab]

It's a real concern, actually. Scientists even a name for it: "the two-body problem."

 

[Evo]

If you are married, it's called "trailing spouse".

 

[mathwonk]

moving is probably better than just standing there.

 

[LudusRex]

I understand your concerns about how moving for career opportunities can affect your relationships and family. It is a common challenge for many scientists, especially those in the early stages of their careers, to balance their personal and professional lives while pursuing their goals. I can offer some insights and potential solutions based on my experience and observations in the scientific community.

Firstly, it is important to have open and honest communication with your partner about your career goals and plans for potential relocations. This can help both of you understand each other's priorities and come up with a plan that works for both of you. It may also be helpful to involve your partner in your decision-making process and consider their needs and preferences.

In terms of finding job opportunities, it is always ideal to have options that are closer to where your partner is currently located. However, in some cases, this may not be possible due to the limited availability of positions in a specific region. In such situations, it may be necessary to consider a longer commute or even temporarily living apart while you pursue your career goals. This can be a challenging situation, but with strong communication and commitment, it is possible to make it work.

Some scientists may also choose to prioritize their partner's career over their own and turn down opportunities that require them to move. This is a personal decision that depends on individual circumstances and priorities. It is important to consider the long-term implications of such a decision and make sure it aligns with your values and goals.

In addition, many universities and research institutions have programs and resources in place to support the families of their employees, including those who are relocating for work. These can include assistance with finding housing, schools for children, and employment opportunities for partners. It is worth exploring these options if you are considering a move for your career.

Overall, it is important to remember that every situation is unique and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. It is important to prioritize your own happiness and career goals, while also considering the needs and feelings of your partner. With open communication, compromise, and support from your institution, it is possible to navigate the challenges of moving for your career while maintaining a strong relationship with your partner and family.