Dating Undergrad: Should I Wait or Go for It?

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In summary, it is ultimately up to personal preference whether to date as an undergrad or wait until grad school or after finishing school. However, it is important to find someone with whom you are comfortable and share similar core values and interests for a successful long-term relationship. Dating can also be a way to gain experience and learn about oneself and others. It is not necessary to have a shared academic interest, and suppressing feelings about dating may not be helpful. Ultimately, seize the moment and live life to the fullest.
  • #1
cragar
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I was wondering should I date as an undergrad or wait till I go to grad school, Or wait till I am done with school. And how important is it to find someone that has common interests that you share. I thought maybe I would find a girl that has a strong interest in physics that way it would give us something to talk about.
 
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  • #2
It depends on so many things. But in my college years, I didn't date for most of the upper division classes - I just didn't have the time.
 
  • #3
ya that's what I was thinking upper level physics and math take a lot of time. what if other people are kinda interested in you.
 
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  • #4
There is no reason you can't date as long as it doesn't interfere with your school work.
 
  • #5
is it pretty important to date someone with common interests, what makes a relationship work.
 
  • #6
cragar said:
is it pretty important to date someone with common interests, what makes a relationship work.
Date someone with whom one is comfortable. I dated a number of different women, and generally I enjoyed their company, but most were sufficiently different or had different interests such that we didn't get serious.

Dating is a way to learn about each other.

In terms of long term relationships, it helps to share core values and in some cases mutual or compatable interests, views and goals.
 
  • #7
cragar said:
I was wondering should I date as an undergrad or wait till I go to grad school, Or wait till I am done with school. And how important is it to find someone that has common interests that you share. I thought maybe I would find a girl that has a strong interest in physics that way it would give us something to talk about.

You should never turn down any chance to gain experience with dating as long as you somewhat fancy the other person, date as much as possible. It’s doubtful that you’ll have time for school and serious relationships, but it isn’t impossible. Further, dating and relationships like anything else, take time and experience to build up a certain level confidence and comfort.

Not to mention the sex is good for stress relief.

You don't need shared academic interest per say, there are plenty of ways you can find common ground. Sometimes it’s far more interesting to date someone completely unlike you, as you'll become more well rounded by proxy.
 
  • #8
If you wait until the "ideal" time to date there's a good chance you'll miss out on a lot of great opportunities.

My advice is to take it as it comes. If school is your priority right now there's no reason that has to change, even if you start dating, even if you enter into a serious relationship.
 
  • #9
cragar said:
I was wondering should I date as an undergrad...

Yes! :)
 
  • #10
ok so i should date to gain experience, and not be closed off and live in isolation. What if i have crazy irrational fears?
 
  • #11
I had a girlfriend for most of my undergrad. If anything it made it easier, when study stress piles up (and it inevitably will) it's good to have someone you can rely on. You can have that with friends of course but my point is that having a partner shouldn't be a hassle, it should be hassle relief (at the very least).
 
  • #12
study stress, like taking QM, and E&M and a math topics course at the same time, I thought i was going to have an anxiety attack. ok thanks for everyone's advice. This might sound crazy but what about suppressing my feelings about dating by thinking about certain things or doing certain things?
 
  • #13
cragar said:
ok so i should date to gain experience,

No, you should date someone if you enjoy their company.

cragar said:
What if i have crazy irrational fears?

Dating will not cure these. You should talk to a psychologist or a psychiatrist about this.
 
  • #14
cragar said:
This might sound crazy but what about suppressing my feelings about dating by thinking about certain things or doing certain things?

In my experience trying to ignore the fact that you want a relationship is at best impossible and at worse damaging. You can't wish away your feelings. What you could do is not spend a lot of time trying to meet people but if it happens then just roll with it.
 
  • #15
I just broke up from my 2 year long relationship ( I just started college and I am 18). She was a professional zip line guide, and a classics major at UCLA. She was just a bit too crazy for me, while she sounds great on paper, she screams and gets in fights. Physically hurt me on multiple occasions.

Point being, I think you should date around in order to figure out your interests. Way too young for a long term relationship, but it is a perfect time to figure out what time of person would be good for you in later years. Also as student 100 said, if you get that sex...it is a great stress relief, but can also make you attached/
 
  • #16
Work to live, not live to work.
Don't promise yourself jam tomorrow.
Carpe Diem

etc etc

There is no reason you can't date as long as it doesn't interfere with your school work.

Any why should it matter even if it does? Life is for living.
 
  • #17
cragar said:
I was wondering should I date as an undergrad or wait till I go to grad school, Or wait till I am done with school.

And then you'll wait until you've finished your postdoc. But then your work takes up time. And when you retire, ..., ah well, you get the point.

You don't have to go out every week just to meet someone if you don't have the time or don't like it. But if you meet someone interesting, go for it! I didn't date until after university and I am sorry I didn't because it feels like I missed out on an important bit of social development.
 
  • #18
Only date really rich girls, they are more fun.
 
  • #19
If a car is going to run you over, attempt to move out the way. If they is a someone you like, attempt to take her out on a date.
 
  • #20
All I'm going to say is that this never stopped Feynman and he turned out to be an "ok physicist"
 
  • #21
thats a good point the only people i know in math and science that didn't date are Newton and paul erdos
 
  • #22
I didn't date hardly at all in undergrad, but that's mainly because there were hardly any girls at my school.
 
  • #23
Weird question - date when you want to. Level with your partner and let them know exactly where you want to take it. It's going to happen sooner or later, so just jump in the water and learn to swim ^^ ..or drown or, of course, stay seemingly unharmed if you decide to avoid the water at all costs.
 

1. Should I wait until after I graduate to start dating?

It ultimately depends on your individual circumstances and priorities. If you feel that dating will distract you from your studies and hinder your academic success, then it may be best to wait until after graduation. However, if you are able to balance dating and your academic responsibilities, there is no reason to wait.

2. Is it a good idea to date someone in the same program or classes as me?

This can be a tricky situation, as dating someone in the same program or classes as you may lead to potential conflicts of interest or awkwardness if the relationship does not work out. Consider the potential consequences and whether it is worth the risk before pursuing a relationship with someone in your program.

3. How do I balance dating and my academic responsibilities?

Communication and time management are key. Make sure to communicate your academic commitments with your partner and set boundaries to ensure that your studies do not suffer. It may also be helpful to schedule dedicated study time and prioritize your academic responsibilities over social activities.

4. What if I am not interested in dating during my undergrad years?

That is completely okay! Everyone has different priorities and goals, and if dating is not a priority for you during your undergrad years, that is perfectly valid. Focus on your studies, personal growth, and friendships during this time.

5. Is it possible to find a serious relationship during undergrad?

Yes, it is possible to find a serious relationship during undergrad. However, it is important to keep in mind that college is a time of change and growth, so it is important to approach any relationship with open communication and realistic expectations. Also, make sure to prioritize your personal and academic growth over a relationship that may not be the best fit for you in the long run.

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