- #1
r4z0r84
- 93
- 1
I decided to give it a shot at writing something, i should start off letting you all know i have never gotten an A in english(high grades) I'm 22 years old and I'm now a fully qualified IT Technical Support Officer. English was never a strong point for me and still is far from decent, i used to use "and then" instead of comma's and would almost never end a sentence. i also used to spell things completely incorrect aswell(thankfully technology has enabled me to autocorrect errors) I would like to know if the following 3 paragraphs would entice someone into reading more of this story, constructive critisizm or just being straight with me and let me know that i should just stick to fixing computers is appreciated
The day was young, bright blue skies, sunrise coming over the horizon you think to yourself nothing could go wrong on this glorious day. You notice a tree with rays of light shining through the branches, with but a small bird singing a song enjoying its life, when suddenly a man behind the tree came out into the sunlight and declared war against those that use sunscreen.
The man started running towards you with blood curdling screams, you begin to brace yourself for whatever comes next, a few seconds pass and you swear to yourself this is the end, upon opening your eyes you see the figure of the man disperse into the sunlight and but a small child running towards you with their arms spread wide expecting a hug.
Who was this child, where did they come from, more importantly who or what was the dark figure that appeared from behind the tree. After picking yourself up off the ground you decide to walk with the child to inspect whatever is behind the tree, as you come closer and closer you start regretting your decision. Sharp pains all over your body start to occur, the child starts skipping ahead of you, you start screaming “Wait!”, but it is all too late. The child squeals to the point it feels like your ears are bleeding, you fall to your knees and black out.
The day was young, bright blue skies, sunrise coming over the horizon you think to yourself nothing could go wrong on this glorious day. You notice a tree with rays of light shining through the branches, with but a small bird singing a song enjoying its life, when suddenly a man behind the tree came out into the sunlight and declared war against those that use sunscreen.
The man started running towards you with blood curdling screams, you begin to brace yourself for whatever comes next, a few seconds pass and you swear to yourself this is the end, upon opening your eyes you see the figure of the man disperse into the sunlight and but a small child running towards you with their arms spread wide expecting a hug.
Who was this child, where did they come from, more importantly who or what was the dark figure that appeared from behind the tree. After picking yourself up off the ground you decide to walk with the child to inspect whatever is behind the tree, as you come closer and closer you start regretting your decision. Sharp pains all over your body start to occur, the child starts skipping ahead of you, you start screaming “Wait!”, but it is all too late. The child squeals to the point it feels like your ears are bleeding, you fall to your knees and black out.