Is 'The Game' by Neil Strauss Worth Reading for Dating Strategies?

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In summary, "The Game" by Neil Strauss is a book about his journey from being a nerd to becoming a world-class pick-up artist. While some find it helpful in improving their social skills, others criticize its morally controversial theories and the idea of pretending to be someone else. The book also emphasizes the importance of confidence and provides tactics, basic psychology, and examples of how to charm girls. However, some argue that it weakens one's ability to have genuine relationships with others. Ultimately, opinions on the book vary, with some finding it beneficial and others finding it problematic.
  • #1
Nikitin
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"The Game" by Neil Strauss?

Has anyone here read "The Game" by Neil Strauss? In the book, Neil Strauss writes how he went from a nerd to a world-class pick-up artist. I read the first 2/3s of it, after that it's just drama and whining. Read wikipedia for more information.

Initially I was sceptical of this "how to pick up girls" stuff, I'm a student of science after-all, but the more of the "tricks" I read, the more I was convinced it was just common sense. For the most part, the main schools advocate ordinary stuff like confidence, be unique, be funny, try to surprise etc. Stuff I already knew about charming girls. What I like though, is how everything is organized in several relatively scientific systems for pick-up called "theories", and how it provides tactics, basic psychology, pick-up material and examples of how it is used.

That said, there also are several shady and morally controversial theories, like using hypnosis to trick girls, or shady guys trying to suck money out of desperate men.

Anyway, opinions? Imo, it's good to have a more structured and in-depth alternative to the typical "be yourself" or "just be nice" etc. advice given out around here. To me, reading this stuff is almost like when I read physics. I can't wait to try this stuff out next weekend.
 
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  • #2
I don't like phony people, so I say "be yourself" and "just be nice" because if you pretend to be something you're not, you'll get dumped as soon as the other person realizes you're not what you pretended to be.
 
  • #3
Why is improving ones social skills and being oneself mutually exclusive?
 
  • #4
I've read the game and I've seen Strauss's videos as well. It really is common sense on some level. You're just taking advantage of positive responses to social cues; it is all well structured if you can execute it correctly. There was also a game show related to the game: look up "Keys to the VIP" on youtube. In particular, watch the episode with the contestant Cajun. That man is a pick up god.
 
  • #5
I got this book as a gift. I only skimmed through some of it, but I'm morally disgusted by its premise: acting like something you're not (basically if you don't fit the model alpha male the book describes).

As much as I dislike being the ignored nice guy, I have enough psychological distresses to put on a fake persona 24/7. I'd rather preserve my sanity. I wouldn't want to be with anyone that would fall victim to the book's trickery either, they'd have to be pretty dimwitted to not see its all a trick.
 
  • #6
This "alpha" has nothing to do with being a douchebag or tricking people like you think, it's primarily about having confidence (having, not pretending). And I see no reason why somebody can't build confidence through social interaction.. It sure worked for me, at least.

This book isn't exactly a guide, but you should give it a chance and read it properly,, then you'll find out these pick-up people are as morally diverse as any other community.

WannabeNewton: yeh, I'll check it out later. I got waay too much time on my hands right now. :P
 
  • #7
Lavabug said:
I got this book as a gift. I only skimmed through some of it, but I'm morally disgusted by its premise: acting like something you're not (basically if you don't fit the model alpha male the book describes).

As much as I dislike being the ignored nice guy, I have enough psychological distresses to put on a fake persona 24/7. I'd rather preserve my sanity. I wouldn't want to be with anyone that would fall victim to the book's trickery either, they'd have to be pretty dimwitted to not see its all a trick.

Well said! I couldn't finish the book. My friend gave it to me so he would have someone to sarge with. He is a good guy and I think he got wrapped up in the idea of it. Just one of those phases he went through I guess. Glad he is out of it now.
 
  • #9
Pick-up Artists? More like Pick-up incurable STDs.

You don't actually have the game, even if you use the game, until and unless you know some more secret stuffs. ;)
 
  • #10
I haven't read the book, so my opinion is based on internet hearsay.

I don't think that adopting such an attitude towards women "improves one's social skills". Quite the contrary, I would say it weakens your ability to have deep relationships with other people. The problem is not that the book teaches you how to get self confidence. The problem is that it does so by telling you to treat others like things where you just have to push the right buttons to get a desired reaction. That's the opposite of love which is based on genuine interest in the other as a person.
 
  • #11
I would like to add: the person that recommended and gave me this book used to pride himself with being a pickup artist, but now he's in his mid 30's wanting to settle like the rest of his friends and is unable to attract marriage material because -according to him- he gives off the bad-boy image. The "best" he's found lately was someone who cheated on her husband with him.

If all you're looking to do is sleep with as many people as possible then yeah the book is probably what you want. The book is obviously written in a fashion that appeals to sciencey-minded people, which was one of the selling points when it was recommended to me.
 
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  • #12
There's a lot of wisdom in Country Music.

...Yesterday the moon was blue
and every crazy day brought something new to do .
I used my magic age as if it were a wand
and never saw the waste and emptiness beyond.
The game of love I played with arrogance and pride
and every flame I lit too quickly quickly died ,
the friends I made all seemed somehow to drift away
and only I am left on stage to end the play.

There are so many songs in me that won't be sung ,
I feel the bitter taste of tears upon my tongue ;
the time has come for me to pay for yesterday

When I was young.

lyrics courtesy(?) these guys: http://www.kovideo.net [/QUOTE] EDI...Roy Clark. [MEDIA=youtube]NEY4LxORCeo[/MEDIA]
 
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  • #13
jim hardy said:
There's a lot of wisdom in Country Music.



Author: Charles Aznavour,


made famous by Roy Clark.


Great song! It's on YouTube:

 
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  • #14
Okay, if one adopts "the game" as ones religion, then sure the women around you gets dehumanized. But how is this different from, say, a psychologist who becomes so obsessed with his science he/she starts seeing humans as relatively predictable machines?

I think this pick-up stuff has many useful & non-controversial tips, strategies and tricks, and I think these can be used without becoming ensnared by it.
 
  • #15
Nikitin said:
Okay, if one adopts "the game" as ones religion, then sure the women around you gets dehumanized. But how is this different from, say, a psychologist who becomes so obsessed with his science he/she starts seeing humans as relatively predictable machines?

I think this pick-up stuff has many useful & non-controversial tips, strategies and tricks, and I think these can be used without becoming ensnared by it.
Well, if your goal is to see how many women you can trick into a one night stand, go for it. Seems rather pathetic to me.
 
  • #16
I also read the first 2/3 or so of the book (without breaking any forum rules, let's describe it as a digital gift). Initially I was also somewhat put off by the clinical and methodical process that it advocates, but after a while I started noticing that some people naturally practice some of the things in the book. In fact, I would have sworn one friend of mine was playing "the game", though he himself denied it and just said he tried to be more social and less inhibited by self-imposed fears and restrictions, or something like that.

Now, a few years after reading the book, I think that it is quite useful in that it makes you aware of many things that may go unnoticed. Not feeling restrained to approach people, involving everyone in a group - the whole "social proof" thing, little "tricks" to make social interactions more attractive; all these things are not only useful when you try to pickup as many girls as possible, but also in everyday social life: when waiting at the bus stop, when walking into a bar, when you meet up with some close friends and find yourself drawn in a big group of, erm, acquaintances ... being aware of your attitude and behaviour and making slight changes can just make social interactions go more smoothly without making you fake or "not be yourself", and being unaware of them you may often find yourself silently crept away in a corner.

So in short, I think the book is nonsense and maybe even not the last part but basically all of it was whining; but as with all extremes there are useful lessons to be learnt.
 
  • #17
Nikitin said:
Has anyone here read "The Game" by Neil Strauss? ... Read wikipedia for more information.

...

Well I looked at Wikipedia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neil_Strauss
After leaving The New York Times to ghostwrite Jenna Jameson's memoirs, Strauss joined a sub-culture of pick-up artists known as the seduction community,...
... In 2005, he published The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists (Regan Books, 2005), a book about his transformation into "Style", a pickup artist under the tutelage of Mystery... it also describes his seductive interactions with celebrities including Britney Spears,[10] Tom Cruise, and Courtney Love...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seduction_community
The seduction community is a self help movement of men, primarily communicating on the Internet, who strive for better sexual success/access with women.

I've not read the book.
Based on the wiki articles he's selling sex, just as Hugh Heffner sold it to mine. I blame HH's rationalization of hedonism for a lot of present day society's excesses and ails. I hope your generation fares better.
 
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  • #18
jim hardy said:
I hope your generation fares better.
Boy do I have bad news for you :wink:
 
  • #19
Nikitin said:
Okay, if one adopts "the game" as ones religion, then sure the women around you gets dehumanized. But how is this different from, say, a psychologist who becomes so obsessed with his science he/she starts seeing humans as relatively predictable machines?

I think this pick-up stuff has many useful & non-controversial tips, strategies and tricks, and I think these can be used without becoming ensnared by it.

Hey Nikitin. Go for it, man. I'm with you. Ignore the shaming. Do it just for the game's sake. A kind of challenge. Don't forget to tell me some of your stories. I'll be rather happy if you successfully pis off some of the prudes.
 
  • #20
Bizarrely, Neil Strauss was in my North Korea tour group two years ago. With him was a very attractive girl from Ukraine. From my talks with him, his techniques do generally work. They will likely land you a girlfriend, however from my perspective they will rarely land you a meaningful long term relationship. Why? Simply because his goals are too much like hunting and finding that trophy rather than finding a soul mate organically.
 
  • #21
WannabeNewton said:
Boy do I have bad news for you :wink:

Well, there's glimmers, eg Weezer's 'Pinkerton' with "Butterfly" .
 
  • #25
Nikitin said:
Has anyone here read "The Game" by Neil Strauss? In the book, Neil Strauss writes how he went from a nerd to a world-class pick-up artist. I read the first 2/3s of it, after that it's just drama and whining. Read wikipedia for more information.

I own it, and I didn't even get as far as you did. I only bought it out of curiosity; I can honestly say I haven't used anything from that book to improve my relations with the superior sex (and when I say "superior" I mean that in a very pandering way).

The best piece of advice that I've ever pulled from it (well, not the form the book, but from Neil Strauss) is to date enough "hot chicks", such that you're no longer intimidated by physical beauty.
 
  • #26
FlexGunship said:
The best piece of advice that I've ever pulled from it (well, not the form the book, but from Neil Strauss) is to date enough "hot chicks", such that you're no longer intimidated by physical beauty.

Haha it's true though! It will eventually be the end of you :)
 
  • #27
Pick-up artistry, The Game, Neil Strauss, and all that stuff is good only because it gets some nerdy guys out of their parents' basement and gets them making attempts with women. However, it works as a placebo effect as far as actually attracting women. The guys who say they've started having success with women after learn PUA stuff, are actually just having success by virtue of the fact that they're trying more because they have confidence that this PUA stuff really will work.
 
  • #28
The less you read of these "how to pick up women" books, the better off you will be.
 
  • #29
The sum total of the "natural" pickup theory I've learned.

Go talk to women. A lot. Set small goals at first, push yourself and set bigger goals. Start with saying hi to 1 cute girl 7 days a week. Just hi. The next week, ask a cute girl how her day is, every day of the week. So on and so forth. Talk about what you're interested in, find out what they're interested in. Make friends in your everyday routines with pretty girls. The more this happens, the more other pretty girls will see you talking to other pretty girls and will be attracted to you.

Just keep trying at every step of the way.

Don't use tricks, routines, peacocking, or any nonsense like that. Just be yourself.

After all, what would you rather do, find chicks that think your cool, like hearing about what you're interested in, and you can totally be yourself around? Or a group of girls you have to win over through a series of tips and tricks that you have to memorize and practice?
 
  • #30
I wouldn't condemn the book just on what it is, knowledge and the good/evils that can be done with it are ultimately up to the individual. I have read the book completely, and it's real and it works. Sure you can rehearse those cheesy lines, but if anything that is what you do at the amateur level similar to a bird learning to fly. What you have to take away from those cheesy lines, peacocking and the techniques is that it isn't important that it works, but rather WHY it works.

For example peacocking, how many times have you seen a girl and wish you knew what to talk about? Ok now imagine that girl had a tattoo of Einstien, well now you have something to talk about.

It's like riding a bike, first you have your techniques that serve as training wheels, but their will come a day where you can balance on your own and it's all you.

All in all it is just a branch of psychology, I think it's a great resource and yes it does work, I would recommend it.
 

1. Is "The Game" by Neil Strauss a reliable source for dating strategies?

Yes, "The Game" is a well-researched and highly acclaimed book that delves into the world of pickup artists and their techniques for attracting women. It is based on the author's own experiences and interactions with other pickup artists, making it a credible source for dating strategies.

2. Will reading "The Game" make me a better dater?

While "The Game" may provide valuable insights and techniques for attracting women, it is important to remember that every person and situation is unique. It is ultimately up to the individual to determine which strategies work best for them and to use them ethically and respectfully.

3. Is "The Game" appropriate for all audiences?

No, "The Game" contains mature themes and language and may not be suitable for all audiences. It is important to use discretion and judgement when deciding whether or not to read this book.

4. Are the dating strategies in "The Game" manipulative or unethical?

Some of the techniques described in "The Game" may be seen as manipulative or unethical by some readers. It is important to remember that respect and consent should always be the foundation of any relationship, and to use these strategies responsibly and ethically.

5. Can "The Game" guarantee success in dating?

While "The Game" may provide helpful strategies and insights, there is no guarantee that it will lead to success in dating. Every person and situation is unique, and it is important to approach dating with an open mind and a willingness to learn and adapt.

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