Collection of Lame Jokes

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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #3,816
Mark44 said:
Obviously. The type of jokes I'm describing are the ones in the funny category.
"Plain old truth sarcasm" isn't in that category.
But it may elicit groan ... . People's nuances and sense of humor matter and vary of course.

Plus let me put it this way:
Mark44 said:
Even in lame jokes, there has to be some logical coherence, based often on double meanings of words.
Thus in this case I chose the literal sense of the meaning of words to play with (lamely) and ... pull his leg ... . For those who got it, it could elicit groan at least. I didn't say myself it was funny or successful joke, but at least I hope you understand what I did.

Note: at least nowdays, in the jokes threads I just do what most people do. So no need to hit only on me. I don't like all the jokes on the threads and neither do all people. So if you don't like some of my jokes (or you don't fully get them) I think you can just skip them, instead of saying:
Mark44 said:
Don't give up your day job...
and may cause friction and/or misunderstanding in relevance to possible pertaining to content reference when I see below it e.g. "mfb likes this".I can point out many other similar cases in the jokes threads of not very good jokes where no one sais anything. Why "prejudice?" against me or something? But I am not really sure ...
[and this is not a report, or anything]

Also I want to clarify something, regarding my perhaps [mentors characterization for me] allegedly "fixation to likes" (not fully relevant here though):
Whenever I like a joke (or post in general), I automatically hit 'like' (it doesn't cost me anything and it is in fact encouraged by and incorporated in the Forum system, e.g. "number of posts", "likes", "trophy points", etc. - the Forum is set up that way, I didn't choose that, and I learned to appreciate it here in PF ...). But I do that no matter who wrote the post, without prejudice or bias against or for anyone. (not necessarilly 'give and takes' either, just basic courtesy on something that 'you actually like' ... instead of ignoring the like button, while others don't! ...)
I just wish everyone (more or less) did the same unbiased and unprejudiced, because bias and prejudice etc. are I think against the common sense and basic courtesy unwritten rules that we may sometimes forget ...
 
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  • #3,817
Can you discuss this elsewhere please?
 
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  • #3,818
mfb said:
Can you discuss this elsewhere please?
Of course!
 
  • #3,819
What does Homer Simpson call a blind deer?
[="Doh!"]

What does Santa call a blind deer?
[="venison"]

-Spoilers needed attention for some reason
 
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  • #3,820
256bits said:
What does Homer Simpson call a blind deer?

What does Santa call a blind deer?
No idea! ...
 
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  • #3,821
jtbell said:
So, now she sells C cells for her sea shells.
...in the Seychelles.

(with a tip of the hat to Alex Trebek and the writers of "Jeopardy!")
 
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  • #3,822
jtbell said:
...in the Seychelles.

(with a tip of the hat to Alex Trebek and the writers of "Jeopardy!")
and for an extra 10 points ... Have you been to the Seychelles ?
 
  • #3,823
didn't quite suit the " Animal Lovers" thread

a good giggle

 
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  • #3,824
davenn said:
didn't quite suit the " Animal Lovers" thread

a good giggle
He worked in a coal mine before, but got fired as it turned out he was over qualified.
 
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  • #3,825
What happens when you confront an angry pepper?

It gets jalapeño face...
 
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  • #3,826
In some cases brain death remains without diagnose for years.
 
  • #3,827
On July 5 at 11:44 am Mark44 said:
A toothless beaver walks into a pub, and says, "Is the bar tender here?"
OK, I finally got it !... in less than twelve hours, too...[COLOR=#black].[/COLOR] :oldtongue: [COLOR=#black]..[/COLOR] LOL
 
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  • #3,828
OCR said:
OK, I finally got it !... in less than twelve hours, too...[COLOR=#black].[/COLOR] :oldtongue: [COLOR=#black]..[/COLOR] LOL
My record for longest time to get a joke is about ten years.
 
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  • #3,829
davenn said:
:smile: Still a better idea than arguing with a woman...
And...

A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it ! [COLOR=#black]..[/COLOR] :oldbiggrin:
 
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  • #3,830
A blond, who was tired of all the blond jokes going around, decided to dye her hair brown. She then went for a drive in the country and came upon a shepherd herding his sheep across the road. "Hey, shepherd! If I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?" The shepherd is puzzled but agrees...

Out of the blue, she blurts out "352!" He is stunned, but keeps his word and allows her to pick one.

She picks out the cutest...

He looks at her and says... "If I guess what color your hair really is, can I have my dog back ? ...[COLOR=#black].[/COLOR] :oldlaugh:
 
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  • #3,831
in
OCR said:
And...

A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it ! .. :oldbiggrin:

indeed

unlike this guy who probably didn't live too long after his response ...

cs.jpg
 
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  • #3,832
davenn said:
And then the fight started...
lmao-gif.gif
 
  • #3,833
Back to physics, and observation... :ok:

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger... then it hit me. [COLOR=#black]..[/COLOR] :redface:
 
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  • #3,834
FB_IMG_1499340447923.jpg
 
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  • #3,835
Have you heard? Apple is about to enter a new field, cattle ranching, with a device named the iProd.
 
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  • #3,836
iRack?

 
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  • #3,837
19702920_1555606901140616_2958023768927586636_o.jpg
 
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  • #3,838
"The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive."
-- W. C. Fields
 
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  • #3,839
jtbell said:
"The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive."
-- W. C. Fields
Indeed
But it can't be too bad, so far they always wanted to come back.
 
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  • #3,840
mfb said:
Indeed
But it can't be too bad
May be it gets bad at the exit! ...
 
Last edited:
  • #3,841
Teacher calls the parent: "Mr Smith please control and restrain your son, because he tells many lies!"
Smith: "Gee! He must be a heck of a lier, because ... I DON'T HAVE A SON!"
 
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  • #3,842
And there was this famous tenor at the met. He received one da capo after the other and as he had repeated his third time he sang the aria there were still shouts "Da capo!" from the balcony. He gesticulated that he was too exhausted now, but there still was the call: "Da capo! Da capo! Until you know how to do it!"
 
  • #3,843
"There are leftovers from yesterday: apple pie, cheescake and torte. Want to have it?"
"Yes, please."
"Which one?"
"I don't understand the question."
 
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  • #3,844
Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore, it is too crowded! (Yogi Berra).
 
  • #3,845
Hannibal the cannibal was late for dinner.
He got the cold shoulder.
 
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  • #3,846
There was a rumor Idi Amin, former Ugandan ruler, was a cannibal*. Once, during a flight, they asked him what he wanted for dinner. He replies: " The fat guy on row 3, with potatos and salad."

* Thanks for refreshing my memory , 256 ( May I call you Byte/4 ?)
 
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  • #3,847
Ha Just please don't call me late for dinner.:))
 
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  • #3,848
256bits said:
Ha Just please don't call me late for dinner.:))
Why? Shoulder is a good piece for BBQ.
 
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  • #3,849
Working at home is crap!
(Joe, 42, firefighter)
 
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  • #3,850
mfb said:
iRack?


It is in Pakistan, which is between iRack and a Hard Place ( Maybe the Hard Rack cafe' in Pakistan)..
 
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