Do you cry more for the loss of a pet or a loved one?

[Loren Booda]

How often do you cry?

I tear up sometimes more than once a week, cry several times in a year, and have a really good sob every five years or so. Without religiously taking my medicine, the story would no doubt be different.

I recall crying more at the death of my cats than that of my parents. The cats I lived and slept with (one actually jumped off of my bed and collapsed - dead - the other I held when he was being euthanized). Contrawise, I had watched my parents slowly deteriorate over the years at their nursing homes, perhaps having more control over their situation with the help of staff and not actually seeing them die.

Sobbing? As an adult, when having my first nervous breakdown at Yale; having my nose broken; listening to an account of how a Navy chaplain won the Congressional Medal of Honor; and worrying that I might be arrested for medicine-induced mania.

 

[Evo]

I think a good cry once in awhile is healthy. You shouldn't keep your emotions pent up. That's why sometimes I really enjoy a good tear jerker movie. Same goes for comedies, laughing and crying are therapeutic.

I can understand you crying more over your cats, they're friends and companions and they are also so dependant on us. Watching your parents deteriorate over time, death almost becomes a welcome end, you are more psychologically prepared for it. At least that is how it was for me when my dad died after being paralyzed by a massive stroke the year before.

 

[Danger]

I don't. In fact, I have to apply artificial tears before a pool game so I can see properly. For some reason, though, outdoors in our balmy -40C climate, I seem to have almost normal tear production when my eyeballs start to freeze.

 

[scorpa]

I hardly ever do, I tend to keep my emotions pent up inside me which probably isn't the best thing to do.

 

[hypatia]

I don't cry often, but when I do, I do it well.

 

[verty]

I think crying is overrated. I see crying as trying to elicit sympathy, proclaiming your problems rather than trying to solve them. Instead of crying, set about fixing them.

 

[edward]

An old indian once told me that the eyes are the window of the soul, and occasionally it is good for them to be washed.

 

[Evo]

I think crying is overrated. I see crying as trying to elicit sympathy, proclaiming your problems rather than trying to solve them. Instead of crying, set about fixing them.

How do you fix a dead pet?

 

[verty]

How do you fix a dead pet?

You accept death...

 

[edward]

You accept death...

That is much easier said than done, especially if it is the death of a friend, pet or family member. Crying is a normal part of the healing process.

AND

scientists have discovered that emotional tears contain high levels of manganese and a chemical called prolactin. . In fact it is believed that crying is a way of removing “excess” chemicals, which are not very good for the body. This might help explain why people say they feel better after "a good cry."

http://dimdima.com/science/science_common/show_science.asp?q_aid=196&q_title=How+we+cry

 

[Evo]

You accept death...

And crying is a normal part of the grieving process. Pretending you don't feel grief is not a good thing. How is someone trying to gain attention when they cry alone?

 

[verty]

And crying is a normal part of the grieving process. Pretending you don't feel grief is not a good thing.

Put it this way. The last time I cried was 9/11, and not because I knew anyone who died or even because people died but because there were people in the world who are bent on killing and I can't change their minds. I mean I didn't for tsunamis or Katrinas or whatever.

When my best friend died in a motorcycle accident, I didn't cry. When a good friend and his mother (not young people) died when their house caught alight, I didn't cry. I didn't express hopelessness at my incapacity to change what happened, I accepted it and moved on. Admittedly, 9/11 (that people would do that) is more difficult to accept.

I don't grieve my incapacity to change fate but I do grieve my incapacity to change people.

 

[Loren Booda]

Evo,

Like tears, you've given me clarity and insight about my cats, Benjamin and King Friday, and my gracious parents. How about tears of happiness, folks?

 

[verty]

I've never cried tears of happiness. I don't understand them. What could make a person so happy that they cry? If it is something like a prisoner being released, I would think it is more relief than happiness.

 

[Evo]

I've never cried tears of happiness. I don't understand them. What could make a person so happy that they cry? If it is something like a prisoner being released, I would think it is more relief than happiness.

It sounds like you have an inability to express emotions.

 

[hypatia]

Happy tears, the first time I held my Grandson, I cried and laughed at the same time.

I can't imagin what its like to not feel the full range of emotions, how very dull the world would be.

 

[radou]

Happy tears, the first time I held my Grandson, I cried and laughed at the same time.

That's a nice experience. I cried and laughed at the same time a few times, too..

 

[devil-fire]

actualy iv found that really good crys don't make me feel any better. i can remember thinking "i can't hold em back any more... now that its gone this far i might as well see how far it goes" and just crying till i can't any more. it didnt help any, i just didnt feel like crying any more

 

[moose]

Some of these posts remind me of the movie http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0333766/" ...

 

[verty]

I can't imagine what its like to not feel the full range of emotions, how very dull the world would be.

The world is not less dull because you have emotions, the world is what it is. Do you think it's dull?

 

[verty]

Happy tears, the first time I held my Grandson, I cried and laughed at the same time.

Now this I don't understand. What about a grandson is so pleasing? Favouritism for ones family members seems rather biased to me. For me, holding any child is an engaging experience.

 

[Evo]

Now this I don't understand. What about a grandson is so pleasing? Favouritism for ones family members seems rather biased to me. For me, holding any child is an engaging experience.

Ok, come clean, you were raised by wolves, right?

 

[Leah]

Just today I watched my 8 year old daughter ride on the Santa float in the city parade. I had tears well up in my eyes at how beautiful the parade was and how proud I was of my daughter. The reason she was there was because she won 1st place in the art contest for the city. That brings tears to my eyes, too. Whenever it has to do with the children, I cry proud tears. I guess that is part of being a mom.

 

[verty]

Ok, come clean, you were raised by wolves, right?

I think of them more kindly than that. I was raised by a loving family, and because they loved me they wanted the best for me, but as it turned out they didn't know what was best and I assumed they did, and as a result of that it took me a long itme to realize that I'm not the person either they or I thought I was.

Basically I was pretty much living a lie until about 22 years old because I was trying to make them proud. Now I've come to dislike that effect.

Familial bias is something you can't earn or deserve and it's like a yoke that binds you. Because your parents are so loving, they deserve your love and respect in return, which foists a duty on you for which they are the judges. I think it's a very unhealthy situation indeed.

 

[Evo]

The reason she was there was because she won 1st place in the art contest for the city.

Oh, how wonderful! That must be a great feeling.

 

[verty]

Just today I watched my 8 year old daughter ride on the Santa float in the city parade. I had tears well up in my eyes at how beautiful the parade was and how proud I was of my daughter.

And I'll bet she wants to make you proud, and if it happens that there are things she isn't proud about, she'll (likely) keep them from you.

 

[Evo]

And I'll bet she wants to make you proud, and if it happens that there are things she isn't proud about, she'll (likely) keep them from you.

Gee, you've turned out rather bitter. I won competitons in school, even had my work displayed by the public library for 6 months. I didn't win everything,and I never kept my failures a secret. But my parents never put any presure on me to compete or win. I often didn't choose to compete, a teacher would enter my work, then it was too late.

 

[Astronuc]

. . . I had tears well up in my eyes at how beautiful the parade was and how proud I was of my daughter. The reason she was there was because she won 1st place in the art contest for the city. That brings tears to my eyes, too. Whenever it has to do with the children, I cry proud tears. I guess that is part of being a mom.

And dads, too!

Happy tears, the first time I held my Grandson, I cried and laughed at the same time.

First time I held each of my two children, tears welled up in my eyes from the profound emotional experience.

I cried when I euthenized one of my cats - she had been very close to me and she had come to me at the very end of her life. She could barely move, and I ended up holding her in her last moments.

I didn't cry at my brother's funeral or grave side. Then I had to support my parents. But days later, I woke from a dream crying. In the dream, my brother and I were on the opposite sides of a stone fence. I was holding his hand not wanting to let go - I wanted to pull him back to my side, but I couldn't. And then he was pulled away, and I woke up in tears.

I have had tears of great joy and great sadness.

 

[verty]

Gee, you've turned out rather bitter.

I'd say thoughtful more than bitter.

But my parents never put any pressure on me to compete or win.

Well then you are fortunate.

 

[Kurdt]

I think crying is overrated. I see crying as trying to elicit sympathy, proclaiming your problems rather than trying to solve them. Instead of crying, set about fixing them.

Well i think this is a point you may have to agree to differ on. Certainly lots of people find comfort in the emotional release from crying, and others prefer to keep their feelings secret. I don't think crying is specifically designed to elicit sympathy from other people. Certainly for a child it serves to notify carers of some sort of distress but in adult years it serves a different purpose. I'm sure a lot of people might like to confirm that on ocassions crying while alone is still a very useful experience and indeed is probably more common than crying publicly. Also just because people cry does not mean they are hiding from their problems. I'm sure for many it is the first step in accepting their situation and moving on to a solution.

 

[0rthodontist]

I too believe that tears and grief are signals for sympathy. Of course they may feel good and are probably healthy, but why doesn't the brain just have some invisible mechanism to dispel grief and suffering after a while? Crying is a physical, outward act--the only reason for having a physical act instead of an invisible internal mechanism is as a signal that you may need help.

By the way, this reminds me of the Smiley Fairy
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=smiley+fairy&btnG=Google+Search