Is Holding the Door Open for Women Considered Sexist?

[Char. Limit]

I held the door open for someone today. I've been taught that opening the door for people is the courteous thing to do. This person whom I held the door open for happened to be a woman. For my kindness and courtesy towards a fellow human being, I was named a sexist and a male chauvinist pig (or something like that.)

So, should I consider the correct course of action to be "hold the door open for men, but ignore women, they can handle a door"? Cause I can do that.

My alternate: next time someone calls me out on this "sexism", I'll say this:

"I was just holding the door open for a fellow human being, something you seem to have forgotten I am..."

then sue for sexual harassment on account of her calling me a sexist for little to no reason.

 

[cronxeh]

I am both a sexist and a chauvinist, and there is nothing wrong with that. That being said, I do hold the door for whoever is behind me

 

[Char. Limit]

Well, if this is what being a sexist is, I'm proud of it. I shall now embrace sexism as much as possible, as sexism is (apparently) synonymous with courtesy!

So, let's see, I guess VAWA and women's jobs can go, as well as birth control...

(this is a joke. I'm NOT being serious with this last paragraph)

 

[humanino]

That was not sexist, I hold doors too. Sexist would be : nevermind, women do that every month.

 

[RazorRose]

i've always considered myself as a bit old school. i always hold the door open for women, elderly, and children, not because i wish to demean them but because i was brought up that way, and its respect... its a common courtesy.
i do a lot of things old school-ly-ish, and i think that now a days that's not so so pc. cause of women's rights movements and the like. I'm not treating you differently cause i think less of you.
but if someone called me a sexist for opening the door for them, i'd probably just close it on their face.

 

[Huckleberry]

Seems like a lovely woman, the kind who trades scowls for smiles. If you let her anger you into not ever opening the door for a woman then she has just encouraged you to become sexist. She dove straight into the insults because it is what she needs to affirm her worldview that men are pigs. She is sexist. Don't make her problems your own.

I don't deal well with that type of aggression. A woman I kinda knew once questioned me when I held the door for her. I said, "Do you want to go in, or not?" Next time maybe I'll say something like "So, does this mean that you don't want to have sex with me?" Arguing about doors is ridiculous.

Really, how did opening doors become the symbol of sexism when there are so many other things that are really sexist?

 

[Blenton]

Whats she doing out of the kitchen? lol

 

[Pengwuino]

The correct response was to push her back through the door and slam it in her face. The proper way to do it breaks at least 3 facial bones.

 

[Lisa!]

Wow! We have so many gentleman here!
I rarely hold the door for the next person.

 

[Proton Soup]

I held the door open for someone today. I've been taught that opening the door for people is the courteous thing to do. This person whom I held the door open for happened to be a woman. For my kindness and courtesy towards a fellow human being, I was named a sexist and a male chauvinist pig (or something like that.)

lol, how old is she?

 

[Char. Limit]

She was about 25 or so. Single, obviously.

Huckleberry, that's a good point you have there. I do have one question: what do you think of my alternate response? The first part, I mean. The second part was only half serious, although if I thought I could get away with it, I would do it.

Honestly, I don't think of myself as a gentleman. Holding doors open for people isn't gentlemanly, it's plain decent.

 

[Pengwuino]

Wow! We have so many gentleman here!
I rarely hold the door for the next person.

What a jerk :D

 

[Proton Soup]

She was about 25 or so. Single, obviously.

Huckleberry, that's a good point you have there. I do have one question: what do you think of my alternate response? The first part, I mean. The second part was only half serious, although if I thought I could get away with it, I would do it.

Honestly, I don't think of myself as a gentleman. Holding doors open for people isn't gentlemanly, it's plain decent.

i'd just tell her i think it's great that she's exploring her sexuality.

seriously tho, women are still crazy at that age. just laugh it off and give her a couple more years to mature.

 

[Hurkyl]

My alternate: next time someone calls me out on this "sexism", I'll say this:

"I was just holding the door open for a fellow human being, something you seem to have forgotten I am..."

Pah, not snarky enough. How about:

"I'll hold the door open for any sexist pig I want."

or maybe

"If it will make you feel better, I can slam it in your face..."

 

[Pyrrhus]

I would have just given her a look like she's some kind of weird bug, and might say something like "it's that time of the month?"

 

[Char. Limit]

Wow, Hurkyl. I love that first comment... And the second... and Cyclovenom's...

Also, it's not universally true, but many women are crazy at any age. There's a reason a lot of husbands wish their wives came with manuals or tech support.

Of course, my mom and my girlfriend aren't those types of women.

 

[Borek]

just laugh it off and give her a couple more years to mature.

What if she is next Amy Bishop? You will hear later "how could it happened that authorities have not spotted there is something wrong about woman that violently reacts when someone holds the door open for her".

 

[qspeechc]

I would have just given her a look like she's some kind of weird bug, and might say something like "it's that time of the month?"

I think we have a winner.

 

[Char. Limit]

What if she is next Amy Bishop? You will hear later "how could it happened that authorities have not spotted there is something wrong about woman that violently reacts when someone holds the door open for her".

And now I have just looked up Amy Bishop. Creepy, but I guess this is a case of Beware the Nice Ones, but with "Odd" instead of "Nice".

I find it funny that her last name is bishop. Kind of like old, kind Mother Teresa Strangler.

 

[Born2bwire]

Haha, I love my grandmother. No matter what she automatically stops and waits for me to open the door for her; that's just how she expects the world to work.

 

[Lisa!]

What a jerk :D

:rofl:

That's exactly what I think of men who don't hold the door for women!
Honestly it seems impolite to me. Holding the door for a woman is the sign of respect, IMO!

 

[Phrak]

She's got years of schooling to unlearn. Then there are the multiple pitfalls inherent in higher learning. Be kind. Give her a helping head start and throw the sexist card back in her face. "One more crack like that and we'll be talking sexual harassment with [sic] Human Resources." And don't forget to stare her down when you say it.

Gads, where did I learn this stuff!?

 

[Astronuc]

I do hold the door for whoever is behind me

Same here.

One could have asked "Having a bad day?", or "I'm sorry if your having a bad day" - and simply smile.

Or "You're welcome"

Don't let it get to oneself.

 

[Matterwave]

If I see a lady coming out behind me, I make a special effort to close the door behind me so that she has to open it herself...this way...it's fair!

 

[Phrak]

Same here.

One could have asked "Having a bad day?", or "I'm sorry if your having a bad day" - and simply smile.

Or "You're welcome"

Don't let it get to oneself.

I can't agree with that Astronuc. There's war brewing against the indocrination of hatred coming out of academia. Maybe you're not in a position to notice. You can either take a stand or be put in your place as a male sexist pig.

 

[Huckleberry]

She was about 25 or so. Single, obviously.

Huckleberry, that's a good point you have there. I do have one question: what do you think of my alternate response? The first part, I mean. The second part was only half serious, although if I thought I could get away with it, I would do it.

Honestly, I don't think of myself as a gentleman. Holding doors open for people isn't gentlemanly, it's plain decent.

I'm assuming you mean this.

"I was just holding the door open for a fellow human being, something you seem to have forgotten I am..."

If that's what you honestly feel, and if you feel the need to say anything at all, then that is what you should say. Don't expect it to change her opinion. Be consciously aware while you talk to her that she feels that she has been treated unfairly due to her sex. Another spiteful argument with a man isn't going to improve her disposition. Maybe she just needs to vent on some stranger, and realizing she's just been a collossal ***** will do more to improve her disposition than any argument, no matter how well intentioned. She has to work out her own issues. Sometimes people have an aggressive defense, but they aren't so bad if you have the tolerance to weather the caustic attitude without letting her run ramshod all over your self-respect. You can maybe help her up, but don't ever let anyone bring you down like that. Someone who tries to take your self-respect is not your friend. (similarly, you wouldn't be doing her any favors by attacking hers.)

 

[xxChrisxx]

For my kindness and courtesy towards a fellow human being, I was named a sexist and a male chauvinist pig (or something like that.)

Make a point to slam the door shut in her face next time.

Being quite short tempered, her comments would have earned a torrent of abuse from me. I really don't think I could help myself.

 

[Jobrag]

Something along the lines that "I come from from a female egg and a male sperm just like you" should be the basis for an interesting and ice-breaking discussion, if you can burst into tears as you say it, it will confuse the hell out out of the "lady".

 

[Astronuc]

I can't agree with that Astronuc. There's war brewing against the indocrination of hatred coming out of academia. Maybe you're not in a position to notice. You can either take a stand or be put in your place as a male sexist pig.

I seem to have missed that. I know a lot of academics, and I have not seen any 'indoctrination of hatred'.

I generally stand where I am, when I'm not moving. Although most of the time, unfortunately, it seems I'm sitting at a desk writing or analyzing.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

I had the same thing happen to me once a long time ago. I think she was a classmate. I still open doors for people, any people.

Funny and kind of annoying are the Hispanic women at the bus stop who will shove their way in front of you if you do not stand back for them to get on the bus before you.

 

[radou]

Solution: invent automatic doors.

 

[Phrak]

:uhh:

I seem to have missed that. I know a lot of academics, and I have not seen any 'indoctrination of hatred'.

I generally stand where I am, when I'm not moving. Although most of the time, unfortunately, it seems I'm sitting at a desk writing or analyzing.

My misfortune is overanalyzing, I'm told.

I doubt that your circle of academics spends a great deal of time involved in the arts and humanities side of the university. Attempt to sit in on a black studies or a women's studies class. Just to get the full impact, you need a day-hours class. Discover which of these professors habitually close their doors during class even though the hall is quiet. These are your target professors. Pick a freshman class. These contain the most impressionable students, and thus the most uninhibited professor. You should be aware that you will stand out in class and have marked effect on the content of the lecture.

Even better, go in drag as an 18 year old girl (I can just imagine that) or negotiate with one to record the closed-door lectures on your behalf in order to eliminate the perturbations your presence would cause.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

I always hold the door open for others regardless of gender. To imply that because you are a woman, therefore I held the door open especially for you, and therefore I am sexist, won't fly. The sexist part comes in where I let go of the door with perfect timing so that she has already acknowleged my courtesy and yet is forced to open it herself anyway. I only do that for women.

 

[Norman]

:uhh:

My misfortune is overanalyzing, I'm told.

I doubt that your circle of academics spends a great deal of time involved in the arts and humanities side of the university. Attempt to sit in on a black studies or a women's studies class. Just to get the full impact, you need a day-hours class. Discover which of these professors habitually close their doors during class. These are your target professors. Pick a freshman class. These contain the most impressionable students. You should be aware that you will stand out in class and have marked effect on the content of the lecture. Even better, go in drag as an 18 year old girl or negotiate with one to record the closed-door lecture on your behalf in order to eliminate the perturbations your presence would cause.

I think you are dead wrong. I took a few black studies classes. I am Viking Irish- blond hair, green eyes, red beard, pasty skin- I stood out, but I wasn't the only white kid in there. And I never felt an ounce of aggression from anyone. Now you can say that I just had good professors (and I would agree), but I have never heard about anything such as this. I truly doubt that this closed door, hatefilled underworld of academia is the norm in these departments. In fact, I just checked the webpage of the Africology department at my undergrad school - they have a Caucasian assistant professor. If a department was that full of hate, would they ever allow the object of their hate to stand beside them and teach? Doubtful.

And I always hold the door. It is the way I was raised and it is the way I am raising my kids. It is about respect and trying to make the world just a little better through every day actions.

 

[Phrak]

I think you are dead wrong. I took a few black studies classes. I am Viking Irish- blond hair, green eyes, red beard, pasty skin- I stood out, but I wasn't the only white kid in there. And I never felt an ounce of aggression from anyone. Now you can say that I just had good professors (and I would agree), but I have never heard about anything such as this. I truly doubt that this closed door, hatefilled underworld of academia is the norm in these departments. In fact, I just checked the webpage of the Africology department at my undergrad school - they have a Caucasian assistant professor. If a department was that full of hate, would they ever allow the object of their hate to stand beside them and teach? Doubtful.

Facinating. Where do you go to school?