Collection of Lame Jokes

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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #3,326
256bits said:
Canned air, is it always fresh, or does it ever go stale.
I'm always fresh :cool:
 
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Physics news on Phys.org
  • #3,327
fresh_42 said:
I'm always fresh :cool:
Oh. don't tell me. The guy from the Irish Spring soap commercial under the waterfall!:biggrin:
 
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  • #3,328
2QgeTCV.jpg


edit: the face is that of a mathematician and youtuber (NJ Wildeberger) who does not believe irrational numbers are practical or even exist. THoughh if it really came to this kind of situation, I believe he would go right. He always says math is weak, foundationaly inconsistent,etc..I am yet to believe him.
 
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  • #3,329
Stavros Kiri said:
My new year's resolution is that I won't make any new year's resolutions this year! ...
Ouooops! I just made one! ... :nb):doh::oldsurprised::oldbiggrin:

This statements truth value cannot be determined? You have broken my logic :-)
 
  • #3,330
It can be. He made a new year's resolution, and it failed.
 
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  • #3,331
mfb said:
It can be. He made a new year's resolution, and it failed.
:sorry:hmmm yes

EDIT:something about the sentence disturbs me
 
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  • #3,332
This thread is for posting lame jokes. Everyone, please get back on topic.
 
  • #3,333
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  • #3,334
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flat mate.
 
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  • #3,335
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  • #3,336
jtbell said:
How fitting... cows on the loose in DeKalb County, Georgia.
Good they are pros there in DeKalb in De-Kalb-ification!
 
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  • #3,337
In "micro-chat" (going on right now), micromass said (roughly):
"I am at -273°C, but ... hey! I'm '0K' ! ..."

When I asked for permission to quote the joke from the mutual discussion, julian answered: "Absolutely!" ...
 
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  • #3,338
jtbell said:
How fitting... cows on the loose in DeKalb County, Georgia.
From the Tweets reproduced on that page, I think DeKalb County PD would be right at home on this thread.
 
  • #3,339
What do you get if you cross an amoeba and a walkie talkie?

A cellphone.
 
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  • #3,340
Life begins in a cell.
With some, it ends in it as well.
 
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  • #3,341
Meanwhile in Australia.jpg
 
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  • #3,342
There was a young man from Japan,
Whose limericks just wouldn't scan,
When he was asked why,
He said in reply,
"I'm not really sure but I think it might be because I always try to cram as many words into the last line as I possibly can".
 
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  • #3,343
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  • #3,344
A friend asked me "Whats so special about today?"
I replied "nothing, just Donald Trump evicting ANOTHER family!"
 
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  • #3,345
dkotschessaa said:
There was a young man from Japan,
Whose limericks just wouldn't scan,
When he was asked why,
He said in reply,
"I'm not really sure but I think it might be because I always try to cram as many words into the last line as I possibly can".
I have to quote my favourite "anti-limerick" due to W S Gilbert:

There was an old man of St. Bees,
Who was stung in the arm by a wasp,
When asked, "Does it hurt?"
He replied, "No, it doesn't,​
I'm so glad that it wasn't a hornet."​

And this mathematical limerick due to Leigh Mercer:

## (12 + 144 + 20 ##
## + 3\sqrt{4} )##
## \div 7 ##
## + 5 \times 11 ##​
## = 9^2 + 0 ##​

A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven​
Is nine squared and not a bit more.​
 
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  • #3,346
An Egyptian and a Greek:

E: Hey, great news from back home! After digging under the pyramids they discovered and found wires and cables, which means they had telephony back then!
[, so all civilization did in fact start from Egypt!]

G: Hey, that's nothing! No big deal. In Greece, while digging under Acropolis in the greek ruins, to construct the Athens "Metro" (US: subway, UK: underground), they discovered and found nothing! (no wires or cables etc.)

E: So!? So what?

G: It means they had mobile telephony back then! ...
 
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  • #3,347
16142728_1215309445233684_770487680918531998_n.jpg
 
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  • #3,348
DrGreg said:
...

And this mathematical limerick due to Leigh Mercer:

## (12 + 144 + 20 ##
## + 3\sqrt{4} )##
## \div 7 ##
## + 5 \times 11 ##​
## = 9^2 + 0 ##​

brilliant ... hadn't heard that one before

Dave
 
  • #3,349
What is orange and hairy and comes back when you throw it?

A boomorang-utan.
 
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  • #3,350
Ibix said:
What is orange and hairy and comes back when you throw it?

A boomorang-utan.
And I could have sworn you've meant the new ...
(I got to stop watching too much news ...)
 
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  • #3,351
Continuing my theme, what's made of egg and sugar and comes back when you throw it?

A boomeringue.

What do you call a cow that comes back when you throw it?

A moomerang.
 
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  • #3,352
What do you call a Donald Trump speech?

Tweeting from the mouth.
 
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  • #3,353
Bipolar Demon said:
A friend asked me "Whats so special about today?"
I replied "nothing, just Donald Trump evicting ANOTHER family!"
Looks like he also evicted a whole bunch of jokes out of this thread during his inauguration ! ...
 
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  • #3,355
Stavros Kiri said:
Looks like he also evicted a whole bunch of jokes out of this thread during his inauguration ! ...
No, that was me. I didn't evict any actual jokes...
 
  • #3,356
Mark44 said:
No, that was me. I didn't evict any actual jokes...
What?! Was somebody trolling the lame jokes thread?
 
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  • #3,357
Ibix said:
What?! Was somebody trolling the lame jokes thread?
No, they were jokes that didn't make it even to the level of "lame jokes."
 
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  • #3,358
Mark44 said:
No, they were jokes that didn't make it even to the level of "lame jokes."
Let the public decide
 
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  • #3,359
Why did the Cookie Monster visit the doctor?

He felt crumby.
 
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  • #3,360
Swiss cheese has holes.
More cheese means more holes.
More holes means less cheese.
Ergo: More cheese is less cheese.
 
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