Collection of Lame Jokes

  • Thread starter quddusaliquddus
  • Start date
  • Tags
    Jokes
In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #3,081
mfb said:
I'm not sure if QFT has good lame pickup lines.

Something about excitations? Real vs. virtual? Propagator? Expectation values?
"I'd love to study the excitations of your quantum fields"

"Can I apply my particle creation operator to your Hilbert space?"

I have a feeling I would be remaining in my eigenstate if I employed either of those.
 
  • Like
Likes Fervent Freyja, mfb and Pepper Mint
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #3,082
mfb said:
I'm not sure if QFT has good lame pickup lines.
Can you put an upper limit on your uncertainty?
 
  • Like
Likes OmCheeto
  • #3,083
I find myself both laughing and not laughing at these. :wideeyed:
 
  • #3,084
How about the answers?
Ibix said:
"Can I apply my particle creation operator to your Hilbert space?"

The expected lifetime isn't worth trouble.
 
  • Like
Likes Ibix
  • #3,085
fresh_42 said:
The expected lifetime isn't worth trouble.
Japanese+plane+going+down.jpg
 
  • #3,086
Another one:
DrGreg said:
Can you put an upper limit on your uncertainty?
Catch me if you can.

Or: Hi, my name is ##\nu_\tau##.
 
  • #3,087
DrGreg said:
mfb said:
I'm not sure if QFT has good lame pickup lines.
Can you put an upper limit on your uncertainty?
No, but a strict lower limit.
Pickup line uncertainty principle: We either know how lame a pickup line is, or how to use it. You cannot know both at the same time with arbitrary precision.
fresh_42 said:
Or: Hi, my name is ##\nu_\tau##.
"You won't even notice me"?
"Only your mom is massive enough to detect me"?
 
  • #3,088
Borg said:
I find myself both laughing and not laughing at these. :wideeyed:
In other words you're in a superposition state which causes humo(u)r oscillations.
 
  • #3,089
mfb said:
"You won't even notice me"?
"Only your mom is massive enough to detect me"?

leave my mom outta this hahaha :-p
 
  • #3,090
upload_2016-10-5_11-39-11.png
This is a couple of TV program screen dumps
Don't know if you have this show in the USA or elsewhere > " Have you been paying attention"

The host in the top pic asking a panel of 5 local celeb's about various things from the week that's been news
there's always silly responses as well as the correct answer

I think the actual Q was in relation to the gravity wave discovery a month or so back

but the cheeky response is probably very appropriate hahaDave
 
  • #3,091
https://scontent-syd1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/10419018_10152622938353678_3693372614087749544_n.jpg?oh=7a88d08e0071f2555231a8163f726abe&oe=587506D3
 
  • Like
Likes CalcNerd, collinsmark, jtbell and 1 other person
  • #3,092
upload_2016-10-5_12-59-39.png
 
  • Like
Likes CalcNerd, Sophia and Ibix
  • #3,093
mfb said:
Expectation values?

I don't get that one. What is being measured? Time? :rolleyes:

Coupling constants, tunneling, harmonic oscillator, bound states, on all Four(s)ier transformations, Large Hadron Collide-r, heat transfer, or wave function collapse might work? Okay, I will stop now... :DD
 
  • Like
Likes Pepper Mint
  • #3,095
  • Like
Likes EnumaElish, CalcNerd, Fervent Freyja and 1 other person
  • #3,096
What did the Buddhist ask the hot-dog vendor?

Can you make me one with everything?
 
  • Like
Likes Ibix
  • #3,097
DrClaude said:
What did the Buddhist ask the hot-dog vendor?

Can you make me one with everything?

:smile: ...The vendor then gives him a hot dog and the Buddhist gives him a twenty dollar bill. After a moment of waiting, the Buddhist asks, "Where's my change?"

The vendor smiles and says, "Ahh, change must come from within."
 
  • Like
Likes EnumaElish, CalcNerd, jtbell and 8 others
  • #3,098
upload_2016-10-8_10-54-0.png
 
  • Like
Likes EnumaElish, nsaspook, collinsmark and 4 others
  • #3,099
https://scontent-syd1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14581330_2137663706459046_2656123900574402272_n.jpg?oh=ad06adebef5bb3a20ad7a2c5cb1b4fc6&oe=58AA69B7
 
  • Like
Likes EnumaElish, BillTre, Sophia and 5 others
  • #3,100
Turtle-related:
ninja_turtles.png
 
  • Like
Likes davenn, BillTre and DrClaude
  • #3,101
https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14657321_1036193383174136_4250092852937282462_n.jpg?oh=9bbc55b29499b03bca941ac719e33a20&oe=58A77950
 
  • Like
Likes CalcNerd, Filip Larsen, OCR and 3 others
  • #3,102
When you were a kid and your mom served you vegetables: ?:)

TW03nTB.png
 
  • #3,103
hahaha

new kitten and farting.jpg
 
  • Like
Likes 1oldman2, jtbell, Psinter and 5 others
  • #3,104
That's awesome Dave.
:oldlaugh::oldlaugh::oldlaugh:
 
  • Like
Likes davenn
  • #3,105
Borg said:
That's awesome Dave.
:oldlaugh::oldlaugh::oldlaugh:

didn't see my first skunk till my visit to the USA in 1999 ... it was in the wild roaming a field in northwest Colorado
we don't have them in Oz
 
  • Like
Likes Borg
  • #3,106
davenn said:
didn't see my first skunk till my visit to the USA in 1999 ... it was in the wild roaming a field in northwest Colorado
we don't have them in Oz
You definitely can tell when there's one around.
A coworker hit one on the road a couple of weeks ago. He said that it ran out in front of his car but I don't think they go that fast. I saw one in the road a couple of months ago and it was clearly taking its time.
 
  • #3,107
Code:
              *
              |
              |
Copyleft -----|----- Copyright
              |
              |
              |
              |
 
  • #3,108
davenn said:
didn't see my first skunk till my visit to the USA in 1999 ... it was in the wild roaming a field in northwest Colorado
we don't have them in Oz
Well, it seems, everything is a little bit more dangerous down under than in other places. Even the drugs:

 
  • Like
Likes Borg
  • #3,109
fresh_42 said:
Well, it seems, everything is a little bit more dangerous down under than in other places. Even the drugs:

yeah, the cane toad is a nasty and poisonous species. An idiot, who shall remain nameless on here, introduced them in 1935
to control a beetle that was damaging sugar cane crops.
Unfortunately, the cane toad turned into a much bigger environmental disaster. They have no natural predators here and have
flourished and spread widely across the state of Queensland and now being regularly found in the northern areas of the state
of New South Wales. Dave
 
  • #3,110
davenn said:
yeah, the cane toad is a nasty and poisonous species. An idiot, who shall remain nameless on here, introduced them in 1935
to control a beetle that was damaging sugar cane crops.
Unfortunately, the cane toad turned into a much bigger environmental disaster. They have no natural predators here and have
flourished and spread widely across the state of Queensland and now being regularly found in the northern areas of the state
of New South Wales.Dave
Don't mind. We have a small group of Bennett kangaroos somewhere in the woods here. I'm not sure if they're still around, but last time I've checked, it has been their fourth successful winter. And of course, greater rheas. And raccoons, we have many raccoons.

O.k., I admit not really poisonous, but funny anyway. The only thing I really, really regret is - I mean we even have populations of Alexandrine parakeets - however, what we do not have in the wild, and they would perfectly be able to survive here, so what we do not have is my absolute favorite of all birds: Keas.
 
  • #3,111
fresh_42 said:
Keas.

yeah cool parrots ...where are you from ... I have to assume NZ with the Kea comment ??
 
  • #3,112
davenn said:
yeah cool parrots ...
The best. :thumbup:
And crows, which we have.
where are you from ... I have to assume NZ with the Kea comment ??
You should know better. But if you draw the diameter from Keas natural habit through earth, you'll be pretty close. And as far as Wiki is right, there are no Bennett-kangaroos in NZ.
 
  • #3,113
To understand recursion we must first understand recursion.
 
  • Like
Likes EnumaElish, fresh_42 and 1oldman2
  • #3,114
Ibix said:
To understand recursion we must first understand recursion.
Nothing like a logic loop, thanks for the perspective. :smile:
 
  • #3,115
Ibix said:
To understand recursion we must first understand recursion.
That reminds me that on page 269 of Kernighan and Richie's book The C Programming Language, the book's index entry for "recursion" includes page 269.

Also, try googling for "recursion" and see what happens.
 
  • Like
Likes EnumaElish, fresh_42, Ibix and 4 others

Similar threads

  • General Discussion
12
Replies
394
Views
16K
  • General Discussion
2
Replies
42
Views
2K
Replies
0
Views
515
  • General Discussion
8
Replies
258
Views
21K
  • General Discussion
Replies
7
Views
2K
  • General Discussion
Replies
5
Views
741
  • General Discussion
6
Replies
185
Views
6K
Replies
15
Views
3K
Replies
21
Views
2K
  • Feedback and Announcements
Replies
2
Views
845
Back
Top