- #526
Lancelot59
- 646
- 1
drizzle said:Well, for me it comes up first in a google search! What would that mean?
Someone at google must like us.
Collection of Lame Jokes
- Thread starter quddusaliquddus
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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
Someone at google must like us.
- #527
turbo
Gold Member
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What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice?
Polaroids.
Polaroids.
- #528
Lancelot59
- 646
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turbo-1 said:
Nice one.
- #529
p1ayaone1
- 74
- 0
My racing snail was not winning races
any more, so I decided to remove his shell
to make him more aerodynamic.
It didn't work. If anything
it made him more sluggish.
any more, so I decided to remove his shell
to make him more aerodynamic.
It didn't work. If anything
it made him more sluggish.
- #530
Lancelot59
- 646
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p1ayaone1 said:
Nice one.
- #531
The legend
- 422
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Lancelot59 said:
Many are...they don't really sound lame...fully funny, actually.
- #532
Grep
- 298
- 3
Hopefully nobody's posted this one yet:
Newton and Einstein are on a train. Newton remarks "These trains run like clockwork!" to which Einstein asks "When does the station arrive?"
Saw that one recently, but can't remember where I got it. Hopefully not this thread.
Newton and Einstein are on a train. Newton remarks "These trains run like clockwork!" to which Einstein asks "When does the station arrive?"
Saw that one recently, but can't remember where I got it. Hopefully not this thread.
- #533
Ivan Seeking
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
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Police Spokesperson: The computer scientist was found dead at his computer.
Journalist: Do we know the cause of death?
Police Spokesperson: No
Journalist: Did anyone in the area hear or see anything?
Police Spokesperson: No. But we do know the victim had been screaming for help.
Journalist: How do we know that?
Police spokesman: The victim was found with a broken index finger and a damaged F1 key.
Journalist: Do we know the cause of death?
Police Spokesperson: No
Journalist: Did anyone in the area hear or see anything?
Police Spokesperson: No. But we do know the victim had been screaming for help.
Journalist: How do we know that?
Police spokesman: The victim was found with a broken index finger and a damaged F1 key.
- #534
Borek
Mentor
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Inuit interrogated about alibi:
- Where have you been on the night of Dec 12th-Jan 7th?
- Where have you been on the night of Dec 12th-Jan 7th?
- #535
Ivan Seeking
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Borek said:
Inuit interrogated about global warming.
"I like it"
"Why?"
"It's warmer!"
True story
- #536
BobG
Science Advisor
Homework Helper
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Me: You're even more attractive than usual today.
Her: It must be my new haircut. You like it, huh?
Me: Actually, I think it's the extra weight you've put on. Your gravitational pull has become quite severe.
And then the fight started.
Her: It must be my new haircut. You like it, huh?
Me: Actually, I think it's the extra weight you've put on. Your gravitational pull has become quite severe.
And then the fight started.
- #537
Pattonias
- 197
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BobG said:
classic... Was it worth it?
- #538
WhoWee
- 219
- 0
A situational variation could be:
(To your girrlfriend or wife who appears to have added a few pounds)
Run to her and say "WOW! Your gravitational pull is fascinating!"
(To your girrlfriend or wife who appears to have added a few pounds)
Run to her and say "WOW! Your gravitational pull is fascinating!"
- #539
drizzle
Gold Member
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:rofl:
- #540
jobyts
- 227
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BobG said:
Too late, bob; I already vote for Danger.
- #541
drizzle
Gold Member
- 200
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:rofl::rofl::rofl:
OMG, that's a nice one too :rofl:
I haven't voted yet, I know those with humer are pretty active this period of time!
OMG, that's a nice one too :rofl:
I haven't voted yet, I know those with humer are pretty active this period of time!
- #542
HeLiXe
- 440
- 1
BobG said:
:rofl::rofl::rofl:
- #543
cobalt124
- 61
- 32
From work colleague sat opposite:
She was only the telegraphers daughter but she didit didit didit didit...
She was only the colonels daughter but she knew what regi-ment
She was only the telegraphers daughter but she didit didit didit didit...
She was only the colonels daughter but she knew what regi-ment
- #544
OmCheeto
Gold Member
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BobG said:
Reminds me of:
Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat mama's orbiting around her.
ps. Do not try the attractive joke on your bartender. No amount of "but I just saw it on the science forum..." will keep them from cutting you off. Especially if another barback has just been trapped in orbit... :(
- #545
Lancelot59
- 646
- 1
OmCheeto said:
Yo mama's so fat that when she fell in love she broke it.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elifino. ('El if I no)
- #546
Ivan Seeking
Staff Emeritus
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Hey Venezuela, is that your army or did Menudo get back together?
- #547
Lancelot59
- 646
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What do periods and loan payments have in common?
It'll cost you a lot if either are late.
It'll cost you a lot if either are late.
- #548
The legend
- 422
- 0
HAHA^
:rofl:
:rofl:
- #549
HeLiXe
- 440
- 1
:rofl::rofl::rofl:OmCheeto said:
Lancelot59 said:Yo mama's so fat that when she fell in love she broke it.
:rofl::rofl::rofl:
I've never heard those before...just the usual yo mama's so fat she's on both sides of the family and yo mama's so fat she falls off both sides of the bed etc. and i think some other elaborate one...yo mama's so fat she wore a yankee's jacket and helicopters were trying to land on her.
- #550
Lancelot59
- 646
- 1
What time are you going to pick your mom up from the airport? Her plane lands at 2, which would be 3 in her other time zone.HeLiXe said:
- #551
i_wish_i_was_smart
- 91
- 0
Whats the difference between a woman and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with the terrorist!
You can negotiate with the terrorist!
- #552
i_wish_i_was_smart
- 91
- 0
Did you hear the rumor that Chuck Norris had a heart attack?
Turns out its only a rumor, Chuck Norris' heart is not foolish enough to attack him!
Turns out its only a rumor, Chuck Norris' heart is not foolish enough to attack him!
- #553
i_wish_i_was_smart
- 91
- 0
What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen.
What do you call a chinese woman with one leg?
Irene
Eileen.
What do you call a chinese woman with one leg?
Irene
- #554
Lancelot59
- 646
- 1
Isn't there a policy that says you're not supposed to though?i_wish_i_was_smart said:
Nice one.:rofl:i_wish_i_was_smart said:
- #555
CyMark
- 3
- 0
Horse walks into a bar. Barkeep: So why the long face?
- #556
Markface
- 5
- 0
When ABS first came out it was braking news.
- #557
ThisGuy
Havent read all jokes (yet) so I don't know if these have been posted. Anyway, here goes:
Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One of them was a salted.
A neutron walks into a bar, and orders a beer. "How much?" He asks the barkeep.
The barkeep replies, "For you sir, no charge."
Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One of them was a salted.
A neutron walks into a bar, and orders a beer. "How much?" He asks the barkeep.
The barkeep replies, "For you sir, no charge."
- #558
HeLiXe
- 440
- 1
Lancelot59 said:
:rofl:
- #559
jtbell
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Who invented the algorithm? Punchline here.
- #560
Borek
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This one wasn't lame.
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