Despite having done it quite a few times before, I always get a funny

  • Thread starter rsq_a
  • Start date
  • Tags
    Funny
In summary, the conversation discussed the uncomfortable feeling of asking for references and the common concerns people have about whether their referees know them well enough. It was suggested to put oneself in the shoes of the referees and to provide them with a copy of one's resume or CV. Another approach was to ask if someone knows them well enough to provide a reference rather than directly asking for one.
  • #1
rsq_a
107
1
Despite having done it quite a few times before, I always get a funny feeling about asking people for references. I want to ask two questions (which I believe many people have):

1. How many reference requests does the average faculty get? What is their usual reaction to being asked?

2. People always worry that the referees they're asking don't know them very well. Is this a universal feeling?

-----------​

Often, these questions can be answered just by placing yourself in their shoes. For example, if a student asked me for a reference, usually I'd be happy to help, for their success reflects well on my research and teaching. Then again, this knowledge doesn't seem to comfort me...

Perhaps your answers will.
 
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #2


Once a teacher writes a rec letter for you, they usually only swap out unique aspects of that letter when they have to. In a sense, they only write one letter, so I personally think it isn't that bad.

"People always worry that the referees they're asking don't know them very well. Is this a universal feeling?"

To be honest with you, I wouldn't ask someone for a reference unless they knew me pretty well, whether in the classroom, socially, athletically, etc.

For the few letters I've written, I've been happy (even somewhat honored) to write a letter for them. But again, it depends on the person.
 
  • #3


Also:

If they agree, it never hurts to give them a copy of your resume/CV. Frequently when i write letters I know the students pretty well and can include anecdotes from the classroom or from other experiences (like research or projects).. but it's nice to see the resume and get an overview (in case I get called... I keep these in a pretty accessible file for quick reference).
 
  • #4


Very good advice so far, and I'll add one more bit -

When you're not sure, ask someone if they know you well enough to give you a reference, rather than asking for a reference directly. This is generally an easier way to ask , as it doesn't put someone in the position where they might feel bad about telling you 'no'. It also gives them the opportunity to get to know you a little better in the specific context if they do want to write the reference.
 

What causes someone to always get a funny, despite having done it before?

There are several potential reasons for this phenomenon. One possibility is that the person's brain is wired to always seek novelty and stimulation, so even if they have experienced something before, their brain is still searching for something new and different. Another possibility is that the person is easily amused and finds humor in even familiar situations. Additionally, it could be a learned behavior, where the person has grown accustomed to receiving a funny response and now expects it every time.

Is getting a funny a sign of intelligence?

Not necessarily. While having a good sense of humor and being able to make others laugh can be seen as a positive trait, it does not necessarily correlate with intelligence. People with a wide range of intelligence levels can still have a good sense of humor or find things funny.

Can getting a funny be a defense mechanism?

Yes, in some cases, getting a funny can be a defense mechanism. Humor can be used as a way to cope with uncomfortable or stressful situations. By making light of a situation, a person may be able to diffuse tension and make themselves and others feel more at ease.

Can getting a funny be a sign of a larger issue?

In some cases, yes. While it is normal to laugh and find things funny, if a person consistently relies on getting a funny as a coping mechanism or uses humor to mask their true emotions, it could be a sign of underlying issues such as anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem. It is important to pay attention to one's own patterns and seek help if necessary.

Are there any benefits to getting a funny?

Yes, there can be many benefits to getting a funny. Laughing and finding humor in life can improve one's mood, reduce stress, and strengthen relationships. It can also help improve creativity and problem-solving skills. However, it is important to also recognize and address any underlying issues that may be causing the need for constant humor.

Similar threads

Replies
17
Views
1K
Replies
6
Views
1K
Replies
8
Views
3K
  • STEM Career Guidance
Replies
5
Views
1K
  • STEM Career Guidance
2
Replies
62
Views
3K
Replies
13
Views
2K
Replies
127
Views
16K
  • STEM Academic Advising
Replies
10
Views
1K
  • STEM Career Guidance
Replies
29
Views
3K
Replies
2
Views
1K
Back
Top