Update to Girl Trouble Thread

[Chrono]

Update to "Girl Trouble" Thread

OK, PrudensOptimus, it has been a couple of months now. I'm curious as to how things are going. Did you ever make a date? Find another girl? Or, are you still where you were?

I think some other guys out there shared their problems. I think it's time for a little update.

 

[jimmy p]

yeah Prudens, spill some proverbial beans! Haha, just to share a slice of my life, I am still single but i am interested in a girl. However i can't read people at all so i don't know if she likes me or not.

 

[motai]

yeah Prudens, spill some proverbial beans! Haha, just to share a slice of my life, I am still single but i am interested in a girl. However i can't read people at all so i don't know if she likes me or not.

Same situation here. Single and interested in [many] girls. I can't read people well either, but I try to make an attempt to establish some form of connection (though I am not good at that either).

 

[Imparcticle]

Okay guys! here's a tip or two:
- smile
- do what she likes, with your own flare to it
- be totally yourself
- don't be nervous; just relax

 

[Tsu]

I haven't seen Prudens around for a while. I just checked and his last post was 3/1. I think I saw his last activity was 3/8. Maybe he got his girl and has no time for PF anymore.

 

[The_Professional]

Okay guys! here's a tip or two:
- don't be nervous; just relax

It's okay and normal to feel nervous. Just don't say it to her! Acknowledge it inwardly

 

[Chrono]

The main reason I brought this up is that when Prudens was having his trouble with the girl, I was having a bit of my own trouble. Now, just recently, I think things are going for the better.

 

[cookiemonster]

Okay guys! here's a tip or two:
- smile
- do what she likes, with your own flare to it
- be totally yourself
- don't be nervous; just relax

That still doesn't help with the whole "picking one to pursue" part.

cookiemonster

 

[Tsu]

That still doesn't help with the whole "picking one to pursue" part.

cookiemonster

Are your pheromone receptors DEAD??

 

[hitssquad]

A relaxed smile

Okay guys! here's a tip or two:
- smile

But I don't like to smile.

- do what she likes

But what if she likes to frown?

- be totally yourself

But you said to smile.

- don't be nervous; just relax

I can't relax; you said to smile.

 

[cookiemonster]

Are your pheromone receptors DEAD??

Not dead, just mildly overwhelmed.

cookiemonster

 

[Tsu]

Not dead, just mildly overwhelmed.

cookiemonster

By WHAT!

Hitsquad, maybe you should just go the movies by yourself.

 

[cookiemonster]

By... What do you think?

cookiemonster

 

[Polly]

Hi guys, how are you?

My apologies for barging into a all-male conversation, hope you don't mind. I just thought maybe you could use a little trojan horse to the heart of that special lady you have in mind.

First of all I have to say NOOOOOOOO to that all the wrong tips about acting "cool". The first thing you want a woman to know is HOW SPECIAL SHE IS TO YOU. If you play cool, she could just take you as being indifferent (which is a big turn-off) or inscrutable (which is also a big turn-off). So sweating, stammering and other traits of nervousness are all alright, I dare say if she likes you, she will find you all the more cute because of/notwithstanding/inspite of those traits.

I will be happy to answer any other questions you might have in mind

Cheers,
Polly

 

[The_Professional]

It's okay and normal to feel nervous. Just don't say it to her! Acknowledge it inwardly

Like I've said, It's okay to feel nervous but you don't say it. Why bring it up, It's a NEGATIVE. She knows that you are nervous no need to keep bringing it up. Gut it out if you will.

If you want to put the kibosh on any possible romance then go ahead, tell her how nervous she makes you feel and how you're intimidated by her. And Congratulations, because you just made another friend..

 

[cookiemonster]

What about the people that are intimidated by you?

cookiemonster

 

[Polly]

Without disagreeing with you of course, I'd say it depends on the context. But if a guy says something nice like "you have this magic that every time I come near you l lose myself/my breath", as a woman I find that quite flattering. I think guys generally put too much emphasis on knowing what to do, young people are supposed to be at a loss on very many things. It is okay. The danger to watch out for though is that we are not too zeroed into knowing what to do that we forget to respect the lady's preference or wishes. Like I said, a woman NEEDS to feel special to be inspired by love (if she is not in love with you already) .

 

[Polly]

What about the people that are intimidated by you?

cookiemonster

The most logical thing to do needless to say, is to find out why. You have to fill me in more before I can tell you any thing.

 

[cookiemonster]

Some kind of goofy subconscious fear of "he'll laugh at me if I act stupid" or "he'll laugh at me because I'm stupid," that kind of thing.

cookiemonster

 

[Polly]

Some kind of goofy subconscious fear of "he'll laugh at me if I act stupid" or "he'll laugh at me because I'm stupid," that kind of thing.

Sounds like she is quite smitten by you herself. If this is the case, then simply put her at ease, by being in her proximity, talking to mutual friends (who will eventually (be made to) tell her things about you), in short - BE PATIENT. I have heard of this very very good saying which I will tell you now even though I feel I am betraying my gender. Here it goes - a gentleman is a very patient wolf. Be a gentleman.

 

[cookiemonster]

Haha. I've been patient for four years. ;) I've pretty much given up for a while.

It seems to be a pretty general phenomenon, anyway. Which is kinda odd, since most people that actually get to know me say I'm not threatening at all.

Wolf? I don't think I could be a wolf, not even if I wanted to.

cookiemonster

 

[Polly]

It seems to be a pretty general phenomenon, anyway. Which is kinda odd, since most people that actually get to know me say I'm not threatening at all.

Then the problem could go deeper than you think. Would it be possible to find out what she thinks about you from a mutual friend?

 

[cookiemonster]

Nah, there's no-one in particular to whom I'm referring. Never really has been. I wouldn't start a relationship right now, even if there were. I'm just leaving in 2-5 months, and nobody can follow me, anyway.

cookiemonster

 

[Polly]

Plenty of fish in the pond. Sometimes it takes time for a girl to acquire good taste in men as well. Keep me posted about your "amorous moves" I sure want you to win.

 

[cookiemonster]

Guess you'll have to hang around here more to hear about that!

cookiemonster

 

[Polly]

I will, because I am a gentlewoman

 

[cookiemonster]

Going to throw us a definition of that, too?

cookiemonster

 

[Polly]

Let us leave it to our imagination.

 

[Tsu]

Hi guys, how are you?

My apologies for barging into a all-male conversation, hope you don't mind.

*clears throat* EXCUSE me?! I'd say the look on my {avatar} face is pure ESTROGEN! Wouldn't you?

 

[rick1138]

First of all I have to say NOOOOOOOO to that all the wrong tips about acting "cool". The first thing you want a woman to know is HOW SPECIAL SHE IS TO YOU. If you play cool, she could just take you as being indifferent (which is a big turn-off) or inscrutable (which is also a big turn-off). So sweating, stammering and other traits of nervousness are all alright, I dare say if she likes you, she will find you all the more cute because of/notwithstanding/inspite of those traits.

Hey I'm glad you said that, because I made a huge fool in front of someone I am crazy about. She came by to say hello to me me at the bookstore I work in unexpectedly - she lives in another town and I hadn't seen her in a few months. Someone told me she was in the store so I became so excited that I threw my coffee mug and smashed it to bits on the floor - then I turned around and she was watching the whole thing. We had a great conversation.

 

[Evo]

Like I've said, It's okay to feel nervous but you don't say it. Why bring it up, It's a NEGATIVE. She knows that you are nervous no need to keep bringing it up. Gut it out if you will.

If you want to put the kibosh on any possible romance then go ahead, tell her how nervous she makes you feel and how you're intimidated by her. And Congratulations, because you just made another friend..

I agree. If a guy acts nervous around me, that's cute, him going into detail about it might be awkward.

Guys, let me give you a tip. Girls are as insecure and nervous as you are, well except for the brain dead barbies, so don't go after them. You would not believe the lengths girls go to trying to get a guy's attention.

One thing I've noticed here on PF is that guys seem to be going after girls that aren't giving them any signals that they are interested. If a girl likes you, you will notice her glancing at you, smiling at you and then looking away quickly, she might go out of her way to "walk" by you. Remember though, she's probably just as shy as you are about making the first move.

I hate to say it, but if she doesn't appear to be interested, she probably isn't.

When I was younger if I was talking to a guy I liked and I could tell he liked me, but wasn't asking me out, I'd just say "so where are we going Friday night?". That way, if he wasn't interested, I could always laugh it off as a joke, but it always worked.

 

[Monique]

I hate to say it, but if she doesn't appear to be interested, she probably isn't.

Depending on whether she noticed you or knows the kind of things you are interested in..

It is true though, nervous guys are cute

 

[Evo]

Depending on whether she noticed you or knows the kind of things you are interested in..

True, I was thinking more of after the guy has made several failed attempts to get the girl's interest.

Usually if a guy keeps hounding me and I'm not interested, it just gets annoying. I hate hurting people's feelings, so I won't tell them to bug off, I just keep hoping they'll get tired of trying. Unfortuantely some guys assume I'm playing hard to get and try even harder.

 

[Chrono]

Sorry about my previous post, everyone. It seems that things are going for the worse instead for the better. Since it is probably for the weak of heart, I won't go into the details as to what happend.

 

[cookiemonster]

Geez, I can barely keep my eyes open during class. And now I have to look for signals at the same time? You ladies are slavedrivers!

cookiemonster