How do you meet intelligent women?

[psparky]

That's great some of you had success with online dating. I personally hated it. Seemed like 100 dates of akward torture until I accidentally met someone at a meetup. Just my own personal experience.

Most people I have spoken with dislike online dating. Although clearly some have success.

I think they say that 1 out of 5 relationships are from online dating now.

Btw...if you have any interest in playing poker, tournament or cash games...check out the local meetup in your area and search "poker". Should be several "rake free" legal low stakes (and higher) games available to you. Just a bunch of normal folk like yourself getting together for some cards...and drinks...and yes, tons of women play poker now. They are complete nuts about it~!
Stay away from the home "raked" games...illegal and they will take money out of each pot. I bring up poker because I assume some of you math nuts are quite fascinated by the game.

 

[Drakkith]

Well, at least some people contacted you :tongue:

Anyway, I can't find the site I was looking for, but this sums it up pretty well too: http://jonmillward.com/blog/attraction-dating/cupid-on-trial-a-4-month-online-dating-experiment/

I really love this little gem from the end of the article:

Oh, and if you’re a man, it’s in your best interest to make sure your messages are really well-considered, creatively-constructed and demonstrative of your intelligence, humour and lack of neediness.

Easy. Right?

I'm screwed. :grumpy:

 

[lendav_rott]

I continually find this amazing - why on Earth does something as simple as socialising have to be turned into some sort of super-science.

To meet intelligent women, one has to have brains, otherwise.. tough :D Not intelligent like you know calculus and quantum mechanics by heart, that is not intelligent. Intelligence as in you know what you want and you know how to take care of yourself and others.

 

[seany]

Define intelligence.

Is the ability to solve 600 differential equation a minute a benchmark of intelligence? Or is the ability to find a smooth solution to the general NS equation the intelligence. Or even, trying to develop something like Begriffsschrift the "real intelligence muhaaha - then although it resulted in failure, someone took up the responsibility and associated difficulties to do it". You see, the thing is, I don't know about the academic / intellectual setting you are in, but one thing a Prof in München told me is this : "There are two types of people. The first type can address a part of a problem, and can visualize it, and therefore can place in context, and deducably, admire others who solve the same / similar 'part(s) of problem(s) in a commendable manner. These people can not visualize and therefore contextualize those who deals with the whole of the problem. Therefore, the second type of people, who deal with the whole problem, will neither be understood, nor appreciated by the first."

I personally had this experience. I was with someone (who even crossed the ocean for me) who took most of her time admire everybody else (their works I mean - yes I am identifying people with their works - but let us put the morality of that identification aside for a moment) besides me, while I incorporate almost all of what of all they do, and may I insist in at least in the same rigorous manner, if not more, in my work, I was never admired with same sincerity in her voice as she does to others. (That kind of work would imply that I have to incorporate the time all of them spend for their works. Yes, I sleep 10 hours in 54 hours in a regular work phase - which gets interrupted when once in two months I fall sick for 3 to 4 days, and with efficient thinking and organization you can work faster so not all the same number of manhours is needed.)

You see, the admiration often goes around all these people who present / replicate / put things together in such a wonderful way, this brings us to the question : Is playing Bach correctly or Fusing Bach with Mozart with elements of What is the name of the woman on a wrecking ball? - Ah Hanna Montana - the same as writing a similiarly unique, original and impactful piece as Mozart or Bach?

This brings us to the problem known as - I know you get it, but for the sake of formality, I will complete the sentence - the P vs NP problem.

I guess after the proper classification of your *required mode and amount of intelligence* is defined, one can tackle the problem of finding it more efficiently.

 

[MattRob]

Interesting thing, girls and dating.

Honestly, I'd take my dream girl over a nobel prize. Maybe even two.

But on the other hand, a nobel prize might be something I could win my dream girl over with, in which case I could have my cake and eat it, too. Maybe even find her that way if she's hiding somewhere on the Calabi-yau manifold that describes our universe. :tongue:

Joking aside, though, my plan has just been to hunt in my physics classes (I'm an undergrad Sophomore, now).

I'm in this odd superpositioned state of not caring, yet extremely desperate, though. I've heard the best way for my personality type to find one is to not search, so I'm searching by not, even though I am?

I mean, I'll go to study sessions, try to meet as many girls as I can, etc, but at the same time I'm staying relaxed and not overly anxious about it. I think that's what the advantage of not searching is - the happily being yourself, not anxiously trying to impress anyone.

And I also have a "mating call" of putting whatever personal project of mine I'm working on on any white or chalk boards in the room. If a girl asks what I'm doing, and is genuinely interested, I know I've got a great candidate and a conversation starter

Hehe, this has led to one particularly funny incident, though, in a physics TA lab. I was quietly and gleefully humming "midnight train" as I did a for-fun project on the board for solving a spacecraft 's trajectory. As I got closer to deriving the equation I was after, my humming got louder and louder, my strokes with the marker were more and more intense and energetic. When I reached a climax in volume and felt a sudden uneasiness, I suddenly stopped, and slowly turned around to see that most of the room was staring at me. Lol, It was embarrassing, but we all just laughed and I kept going, humming a good deal more quietly.

I'm certainly eccentric, but there's an endearing kind of dorkiness known as "adorkable." I figure, if she doesn't like who I am, then I won't be happy with her anyways, so I'm just proudly myself and if she doesn't like it, then she's definitely not the one for me.

In reality, it rarely works out that way, though. Girls like to play these overly complex social games, but hey, they reap their own reward for that (and either get dumped by - or worse, stuck with - a jerk for it). Maybe I'm asking too much, but I'd like someone who's sensible enough to see how silly those games are, and honest enough to not play them.

And hey, if you don't find "the one" before you're 30, then that just means you've become a wizard XD

(after all, if magic were real, then it'd be called science. Thus, science IS magic. So that'll mean I'll have been single until 30, studying magic, therefore, a wizard.)

I continually find this amazing - why on Earth does something as simple as socialising have to be turned into some sort of super-science.

To meet intelligent women, one has to have brains, otherwise.. tough :D Not intelligent like you know calculus and quantum mechanics by heart, that is not intelligent. Intelligence as in you know what you want and you know how to take care of yourself and others.

Well, it is a super-science. Sociology is one of the softest sciences,
(I'm sure most of you are familiar with this by now:

Fact is, you're trying to describe things that are nigh-impossible to quantify and contain an unfathomable number of variables and connections. It's something like a chaotic system divided by a billion to the power of the cosmological constant.

That is, very chaotic. Chaotic enough that superstition exists. Like; "have fun shooting test particles around at the Planck scale and watch them zip around with quantum gravity that forms all kinds of insane shapes", chaotic. :tongue:

Geez you girls are complicated. Next time any of you gals say to yourself "why is it so hard to find a nice guy?", this is why.

Just ask her out on a date and be direct about it. If she says yes, great, if she says no, move on, there's other fish in the sea.

Yes. Thank you. All my thank yous. All of them. Every one.

Why do girls continuously shoot themselves in the foot like this? Then they befriend total jerks and wonder why their relationships go as they do.

I almost think my first criterion for a girlfriend is the most restrictive: they need to be reasonable.

I can't help but wonder, though; surely men are no better. How am I being completely irrational, that I'm not aware of?

I've had great success in landing an attractive, intelligent woman over a year ago.
...
~Smile...smile...smile. Everybody loves a good smile.
...

Do I detect an awesome reference here to a certain flash-animated TV series?

 

[alan2]

Take a ballroom dance class.

 

[willbell]

The problem isn't meeting intelligent women, they're everywhere, the problem in the OP's case (and I think in other people's cases as well) seems to be overcoming social anxiety. It may help to attempt to work through that before worrying about meeting intelligent women - in my case it helps to talk to them without distractions and plan what you're going to say before hand when you plan to ask them out.

 

[ComplexVar89]

I typically leave my opinions on why The Next Generation is far superior to DS9 at home, so I don't put anyone off.

I think I just died a little inside upon reading this sentence.

 

[Chronos]

Relax and be yourself. Most smart girls find it more attractive than an alpha male attempting to assert control over every situation.

 

[mcknia07]

A person should like you for you. No new tricks or tactics to attract someone. If you are only wanting someone to hang out with, then be up front, but if you want something real to last forever, state that too. No girl (or guy) wants to be in for the long haul and find out the person was only "wasting" their time. Clearly speaking from some experience here.

Key points...
Be honest!
Dress nice
Be yourself
Do not put on a front! *pet peeve right there
Don't tell someone you will change when there are no real intentions to change (good or bad)

 

[lendav_rott]

A person should like you for you. No new tricks or tactics to attract someone. If you are only wanting someone to hang out with, then be up front, but if you want something real to last forever, state that too. No girl (or guy) wants to be in for the long haul and find out the person was only "wasting" their time. Clearly speaking from some experience here.

Key points...
Be honest!
Dress nice
Be yourself
Do not put on a front! *pet peeve right there
Don't tell someone you will change when there are no real intentions to change (good or bad)

Don't forget to wash yourself every now and then, too, I think, is something important to keep in mind :D

 

[dirk_mec1]

A person should like you for you. No new tricks or tactics to attract someone.

You really do not get it, do you? Social anxiety (in this case to ask out girls) is a problem of many guys and cannot be simply overcome by just doing it. If that's the case there would be no fear at all, would there?

It's is a slow and difficult process to overcome that fear and to work with it (not against it).

 

[psparky]

You really do not get it, do you? Social anxiety (in this case to ask out girls) is a problem of many guys and cannot be simply overcome by just doing it. If that's the case there would be no fear at all, would there?

It's is a slow and difficult process to overcome that fear and to work with it (not against it).

Just remember that for every guy with social anxiety, there is a girl with the same social anxiety.

Simply put, there is a "lid for every pot"

Find a lady that is just as equally quirky or however you want to put it.

Also, you may have to get rejected 99 times out of a 100 to succeed. 99 rejections to succeed...is it worth it? Yes.

Or sometimes you can just be in situations where you accidentally run into the right one. But this will NEVER happen while you are sitting at home doing nothing. You must go out and explore and meet people...step 1.

 

[dirk_mec1]

Just remember that for every guy with social anxiety, there is a girl with the same social anxiety.

Simply put, there is a "lid for every pot"

TS has no problem meeting women apperently but this is not the case for lots of men. Also, you can't match a socially anxious person to another because one of them has to make the first step and they both need to communicate.

Also, you may have to get rejected 99 times out of a 100 to succeed. 99 rejections to succeed...is it worth it? Yes.

Ah yes, I've heard this countless times. Have you tried this? I'll bet you don't and that's ok because there are loads of men who do't do this because there's always the wonderful fear of rejection.

Or sometimes you can just be in situations where you accidentally run into the right one. But this will NEVER happen while you are sitting at home doing nothing. You must go out and explore and meet people...step 1.

You don't accidently run into someone it happens because you're meeting a lot of people. It seems like you the truth but do not apply it yourself.

 

[psparky]

TS has no problem meeting women apperently but this is not the case for lots of men. Also, you can't match a socially anxious person to another because one of them has to make the first step and they both need to communicate.

Not true. I know a totally akward guy...and girl from meetup. Total misfits in society. I ran into them the other day...out of the blue they are dating! Yep...lid for every pot.

Ah yes, I've heard this countless times. Have you tried this? I'll bet you don't and that's ok because there are loads of men who do't do this because there's always the wonderful fear of rejection.

Pretty sure I've been rejected 999 times. Got a great one now...no risk, no reward.

You don't accidently run into someone it happens because you're meeting a lot of people. It seems like you the truth but do not apply it yourself.

That is the truth. The more doors you knock on, the more you will be invited in.

It's like riding a bike. There was a day you were terrified of that too...until you actually did it. Be a man...step up. There's reallly no nice way to say it.

Stick with the friend zone for a while too. Long relationships tend to come from patience...quick relationships come from...well, being fast.

 

[dirk_mec1]

Pretty sure I've been rejected 999 times. Got a great one now...no risk, no reward.

I highly doubt that and I'm pretty sure you do to.

Be a man...step up. There's reallly no nice way to say it.

I used to think like this then I started to read some of Mark Mason articles and began to understand why things like: ""be a man", "step it up", "confront your fears head on" do not work. I'm not going to explain everything since it is already nicely explained by him. The line in the above quote does not work for a lot of men trust me buddy. If you do not believe go do some research online you'll be amazed what you read there.

Stick with the friend zone for a while too. Long relationships tend to come from patience...quick relationships come from...well, being fast.

I see now how much I've grown. The above quote is also wrong. I've seen it countless of times go wrong and slowly began to understand that once your friendzoned it is virtually impossible to get out since attraction is very important and once you're dismissed you're pretty much dismissed for life. Again if you do not believe do some reasearch.

It is fascinating to see how many myths are still ingrained in peoples heads I wish people would do some more research (theoretical and practical) and find out how things really work.

 

[lisab]

...no risk, no reward.

I highly doubt that and I'm pretty sure you do to.

I think psparky's right.

If you've checked out, it's like sending the signal, "Don't talk to me, I don't want to meet you." That won't work, because no sane person is going to "force" themselves on someone has has shut down.

How do you expect to meet a good match, if you refuse to meet anyone?

 

[Chronos]

I've found that chewing on lawn gnomes is a great way to meet women.

 

[lisab]

I've found that chewing on lawn gnomes is a great way to meet women.

:rofl:

 

[psparky]

Remember too that woman have the same fears and axieties of men. They are also fearful of rejection, they get embarrased, they can also be afraid to make the first move. Women laugh and cry, they watch movies, they play sports, they have hopes and dreams, they want to party, etc...etc. Women are the same as men except men have a penis and women have a vagina...and maybe they "occasionally" have a few extra emotions. (clearly, we need to go back to basics here)

So just go up to a woman and start just like you would talking to a guy. "Hey, how you doin...how's it goin?...are you new here too?"

In fact when my current girlfriend approached me at a meetup a while back, those were her exact words. She was actually just looking for a friend at the time and I was in a "2 year dating stretch of absolute crappola." She friend-zoned me for 4 months till I broke thru. Hell...forty years ago Mom used to say "Friends first...".

Give yourself a goal...tell yourself that you need to go to at least one new place a week, and talk to at least 2 new women...or something like that. Pretty sure things will start happening.

Like Morgan Freeman said in Shawshank Redemption..."either get busy livin, or get busy dyin".