Good ways to start a conversation with a girl on facebook?

[Nikitin]

I'm 17 soon 18 years 2nd and at year of Gymnasium (senior high school). I'm pretty sure she is attracted to me, and I sure am to her.. She's in my German-class.. But I have barely talked 2 her as I am not very social in general let alone in my German-class which is filled with assholes.

Anyway. Is starting a conversation on facebook a gd idea? If so, any tips?

And yeah, I've been stalking her on facebook and I know it's very pathetic.

 

[JaredJames]

How to start a Facebook conversation ey? Well I'd start with "hi" and work from there...

Sounds a bit weird to me. Not sure how she'd take it. Bit creepy even.

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

FB convo is not a bad place to start. Very easy. Just say hi in german and make it casual. Don't talk long. Then start chatting in the classroom.

 

[JaredJames]

Fairly random person you have barely spoken to and it doesn't seem a bit creepy?

The only way that's certain is if she does like him.

 

[Nikitin]

Well I get this feeling she likes me. She's been giving me looks, saying "goodbye" to me and once, 3 or so months ago she randomly coughed (intentionally, I think) to get my attention and afterwards said "hi", while I was walking a sizeable distance infront of her on the main stairs at my school. Though I might be imagining things since I like her so... I am afraid of just failing completely when approaching her.

Anyway, I think you're right it does sound creepy. I'd best be engaging in convos with her IRL.

Girls: what do you thin?

 

[JaredJames]

Yes, let's move back to real life. You'd be surprised how well it can work!

I'd add that even if she had a conversation with you on FB, it doesn't necessarily mean anything. I often find myself with people speaking to me I don't want to talk to. The "I really want this person to bugger off, but I'm too polite to say it" type of conversations.

Thanks to the lack of emotion and body language, it's difficult to accurately gauge her feelings on the matter.

 

[DanP]

. The "I really want this person to bugger off, but I'm too polite to say it" type of conversations.

Assertiveness is not lack of politeness. As a polite gentleman that you are, I'm sure you could find very effective ways to act like a British lord full of spleen and yet make the other person respect your boundaries.

 

[viko]

you can also start commenting her facebook posts or something :P

 

[Pengwuino]

Talk to her in real life, GEEZ!

Facebook is so ambiguous and as far as the girl goes, it's much easier to pretend to stand talking to a guy over facebook than it is in real life. So for you, that means talking to her in real life will give you a much better way of finding out if she has any interest in you.

 

[Nikitin]

haha I talked 2 her today. We had a nice 5-6 minute conversation after school.. Though I kind of feel like I ****ed up as her girlfriend was in the conversation whom I, unintentionally, almost ignored.. Damn

 

[viko]

Say what!?

 

[JaredJames]

Good, you made progress.

Perhaps ignoring her wasn't the best idea, but it depends how they take it. See how it goes, try to strike up another conversation.

 

[Nikitin]

well I didn't do it on purpose.. I am an including person.. But I am afraid they'l think I'm some selfish jerk or smth even tho the convo had a very nice tone

 

[JaredJames]

well I didn't do it on purpose.. I am an including person..

Which is it? How can you be "including" and yet still not do it on purpose?

But I am afraid they'l think I'm some selfish jerk or smth even tho the convo had a very nice tone

You're over thinking it badly. Just go with the flow and see how things pan out.

 

[Ryan_m_b]

haha I talked 2 her today. We had a nice 5-6 minute conversation after school.. Though I kind of feel like I ****ed up as her girlfriend was in the conversation whom I, unintentionally, almost ignored.. Damn

Good! Now you can move on to sending an inbox message or chat when she's online. Keep it casual, just act like you would to a friend rather than a girl you are trying to date. It is very hard to know how things are going on facebook

 

[Nikitin]

Which is it? How can you be "including" and yet still not do it on purpose?

nonono you misunderstand - I did NOT ignore her (the other girl) on purpose! It was accidental.. i was just busy conversing with the girl I liked

Anyway ryan, yeah but we pretty much finished our last talk.. So nothing to message her about besides, as u said, I'd be seeming desperate. I think I'l engage in a conversation with her the next time I meet her, it seems to work nice. she is quite intelligent btw ;)

 

[JaredJames]

That's the spirit, cut the internet out completely.

 

[viko]

haha, i thought u said you were ignoring her friends on purpose, that would be a very bad idea.

keeping the relationship away of internet is great idea, on that way you will also avoid getting obsesed with her on msn and that horrible stuff we usually suffer

 

[wasteofo2]

If there is a girl you're attracted to, definitely prefer real life over facebook.

If you don't see her regularly, fb is fine, but if she's in class with you don't be a wimp, just talk to her.

 

[emilyalice]

Hey as a girls perspective I think you should talk to her on facebook whenever a boy talks to me on facebook even if were just friend it always make me smile and feel better about myself and i think you should try to approach her at school try to attract her attention smiling or just saying hey it always make a girl feel wanted and also once you have talked a little on facebook you will then have a reason to talk to her at school even if its about grades etc :)

 

[bpatrick]

Ok, so I just noticed that the post was originally from May, but for any future reference, any of this may be helpful, maybe not ... I'll keep my post up though.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you're actually looking to ask her out, I'd just go for it and do it one of the next days you talk to her ... don't want to wait too long or you'll get in that weird friend area since she'll start to compartmentalize you as "that friend from German class".

This would be a sweet way to ask somebody out:

you: "hey, how are you?"
her: "not bad, how are you?"
you: "pretty good, although this one math problem has been bugging me. I think I have the answer but I'm not sure, maybe you can help. The problem involves me thinking you're really cool. I think one of the solutions might be you letting me take you to (insert cool first date activity that isn't just dinner / movie) ... so what do you think?"

***don't forget to smile at this point***

Most girls will say yes if they probably feel they can trust you (which if you go to their school and you're not a total psycho then you're probably fine), the intended date activity is remotely interesting, and they are not otherwise involved with somebody or prohibited by their parents to date.

It may take her by surprise, so you might want to tell her it's ok if she thinks it over for a little if she needs to. Either way, it'll definitely flatter her and probably make her day to just be asked out. Guys generally overestimate how much quality attention a woman gets ... sure they probably get oggled all the time and maybe flirted with sometimes, but most of that is very low investment attention from guys, so when something genuine comes along with the thought and prospect of an actual nice guy asking them out, they'll usually say yes, at least in my experience.

Good luck with it all, seems like you're off to a good start since you at least had a decent first convo.