The woman smarter than the man

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In summary, the conversation discusses the topic of having a girlfriend who is smarter than the male partner. It is mentioned that there are different types of intelligence and that it is uncommon for one person to be uniformly smarter than another. The conversation also touches on the idea that women may prefer a more successful partner, but this attitude is becoming less prevalent. The importance of offering more than just intelligence in a relationship is emphasized, and a book recommendation is given. Some posters suggest taking advantage of the girlfriend's intelligence, while others share their own experiences with having a partner who is smarter than them. Ultimately, it is concluded that intelligence should not be the only factor in a relationship and that other qualities, such as emotional intelligence and social skills, also matter.
  • #1
member 392791
Has anyone here had experience (as the male) who had a girlfriend that was clearly smarter than them? In my predicament, there is this girl I like, and I feel like I don't even have a chance because she is smarter than me, and a girl wants a man who is smarter or more successful or whatever, but I don't think I will be able to top her. Sounds lame but I'm going to roll with it anyway to start up a conversation on the topic.
 
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  • #2
I thought all women thought they were smarter than their boyfriend/husband anyway, even if they really weren't.
So in the cases where they really are, then nothing has changed about how they feel.
 
  • #3
How is this woman smarter than you? Just in school work?

There are many ways to be smart. There's more to being brainy than being a good student. Some people are better at reading other people's emotions, so-called "Emotional Intelligence". Some are better with financial stuff, or organizing complicated things, or finding creative new solutions to common problems.

It would be very unusual for one person to be uniformly smarter than another.
 
  • #4
science/math smarts. I.e the smarts that matters
 
  • #6
There are many people that would prefer to be in relationships where the man is more successful. That's not the same as being smarter. In fact, many of the people that prefer the man to be more successful also prefer the woman to be smarter.

In any event, I don't think that attitude is as prevalent as it used to be, even if it's still pretty common. Judging from the fact that it's no longer such a rarity for women to have to pay their ex-husband alimony, it must not be as rare for the woman to earn more than the man as it used to be.
 
  • #7
An old friend of mine, Stormy, used to say that one ought to ask oneself what of worth they have to offer the person they are interested in pursuing and whether or not that person values those things.

Just because she is intelligent does not necessarily mean that she values intelligence in a partner over all else. If she is quite intelligent she may not see any need for more intelligence in a partner than enough to be capable of communicating well with each other. Perhaps she quite values a goofy sense of humour (for example) because she is often rather serious and finds giggling at some silly jokes to be a nice respite from that seriousness.

Point being: Just because you may value your own intelligence over anything else, and perhaps value intelligence in a partner more than anything else, does not mean that the persons who you pursue will feel the same. The person who you are interested may not value anything you have to offer let alone the one thing about you you think that they should value. And you may also be short changing yourself by feeling that your intelligence is all you have to offer.
 
  • #8
This is a relationships thread,, so i'll say this:

I found this book very helpful. So have a lot of my acquaintances. It was once very popular and used copies abound in thrift stores.

You might see if first chapter or two strikes a chord.

If it doesn't, that's fine.


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The Road Less Traveled[6] published in 1978, is Peck's best-known work, and the one that made his reputation. It is, in short, a description of the attributes that make for a fulfilled human being, based largely on his experiences as a psychiatrist and a person.

In the first section of the work Peck talks about discipline, which he considers essential for emotional, spiritual and psychological health, and which he describes as "the means of spiritual evolution". The elements of discipline that make for such health include the ability to delay gratification, accepting responsibility for oneself and one's actions, a dedication to truth and balancing.

In the second section, Peck considers the nature of love, which he considers the driving force behind spiritual growth. The section mainly attacks a number of misconceptions about love: that romantic love exists (he considers it a very destructive myth), that it is about dependency, that true love is the feeling of "falling in love". Instead, Peck argues that "true" love is about the extending of one's ego boundaries to include another, and about the spiritual nurturing of another.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M._Scott_Peck
 
  • #9
Has anyone here had experience (as the male) who had a girlfriend that was clearly smarter than them?

sensible posts above...
I would not worry about it unless she does...Big difference between smart and intelligent... as in 'street' smart versus academic ability...If you are intimidated by 'smart' that will not bode well for the relationship...worry about yourself and if the girl is so smart trust her 'smart'...

not so sensible posts here:
Glom on to this girl ASAP..get her to help with your homework!
Get her to tutor you for free!
Avoid her classes because she might run up the grade curve!
Get investment advice!
Forget smart...go for tall!
If she is hot, put up with smart!
Would you share her telephone number?
 
  • #10
My wife is smarter than me. But it's no big deal. For me, it's more fulfilling that she is smarter than me. In fact, she is usually the one who adjust when at times of differences.
 
  • #11
Woopydalan said:
science/math smarts. I.e the smarts that matters

That is potentially very offensive. Being a good parent/friend is not completely scientific or mathematical, but I'd say it matters a great deal. Or what about a songwriter whose lyrics inspire someone to turn their life around? Have they not done something commendable?

My wife is much more adept in social situations than I am; her intuitiveness has saved me from many embarrassing moments, or illuminated situations in which I had been too blunt with expressing my views.

I think you'll find what "matters" isn't always intellectual. However, if you simply cannot be with someone who's smarter than you, then don't pursue the relationship. If you don't care, then don't assume it matters to her; give it a go and forgo the guessing game.
 
  • #12
Who says all girls want more intelligent (school wise), successful etc men? There are different kinds of intelligence, and they all matter in the sense that they lead you to a more full life. I love math and go to school but my boyfriend doesn't though he is very charismatic. That actually makes life more interesting. Sometimes I do not know how to behave in a given social situation, but he does an excellent job of "saving" me the trouble or showing me how to handle such a situation. I appreciate the difference.
 
  • #13
Woopydalan said:
science/math smarts. I.e the smarts that matters

Uh? No way, you really think women in science/math only date men in science/math? A relation doesn't revolve around how well a scientific problem can be understood.

I'm with snowfox2004, my boyfriend is not scientifically trained but that doesn't mean he isn't smart. I don't need a business partner: a want a life partner.
 
  • #14
I wouldn't be surprised if many man felt uncomfortable for having a smarter companion or even a more successful companion. Maybe not all men, but I imagine a great deal.

But thankfully times are changing: women are getting better treatment and not considered as having to be 'barefoot and pregnant' although there is still some discrimination going on in all forms of which one involves genders.

I think that as this becomes more prevalent and thus accepted mostly out of the fact that people observe it and consider it natural as opposed to how it used to be (this kind of thing was rare a short time ago), then people won't really care as much because it's something that they have grown up with and are used to. It's interesting that if children are told by their parents or implications are made in their environment about a particular belief or otherwise, then this can obviously have a huge impact on their perspectives even until they die.

I imagine if aliens were walking around us everywhere and you saw everyone getting along without a hitch that if you too grew up in that environment that it wouldn't be a big deal for you either.

It's good that women are getting a chance and if they work hard, get ahead on merit and choose to become what they are capable of becoming, then kudos to them. Once this issue becomes a non-issue then men probably won't even think about bringing this issue up in the first place.
 
  • #15
Woopydalan said:
Sounds lame but I'm going to roll with it anyway to start up a conversation on the topic.

Excellent. Go get her.
 
  • #16
women are always smarter than men, but sometimes they reveal it by making the man think he is smarter.

But let's put it this way, if she is smarter than you and still talking to you, you are in luck.

(for orientation, I am a guy whose wife is much smarter than I am.)
 
  • #17
My wife is smarter than me. But it's no big deal. For me.
 
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  • #18
I can't remember where I heard this but it was a long time ago, an American husband explaining that his wife insisted that he was smarter then her, so he should make the important decisions, what they thought about the Vietnam War, who they should vote for, whether abortion should be legalised, while she would make the unimportant ones, where they would live, what car they would drive and where the kids would go to school.
 
  • #19
I thiink its unlikely she would not date you based on your intelligence. I know many women who seem much smarter (in the sense you are using the term) than thei boyfriends/husbands.
 
  • #20
The obvious answer is that sometimes the woman is smarter, and sometimes not. It also depends on how we define smart. Most folks select a definition that makes them feel smarter.

But I find it interesting that all the ancient mystical traditions attribute wisdom to the female, or they will do something common in the Kabbalah that attributes wisdom to the male and understanding to the female. If I understand the esoteric language correctly, that mean the guy might know a lot, but the girl is more likely to demonstrate it in a practical and useful way.
 
  • #21
Neurosexism, that's all I'll say.
 
  • #22
Clearly your only option at this point is to bribe her pyschologist to hand over her IQ scores.

You will then need to pay the money to take an IQ test from the same pyschologist (we want some consistency, right?) and figure out what your score is.

Now, if your IQ scores are within 10 points, you're in luck! You two will be compatible and will have an everlasting, loving bond that will never be broken!

Now, on the other side, if your IQ scores are 11 points or more apart, then I must unfortunately inform you that it just wasn't meant to be.

___________

... See how absolutely moronic that sounds? Talk to her. It doesn't have to be about science, even if, in your opinion, that's the only thing in the world that is worth knowing.

Literally, talk to her. If you guys hit it off well, then take things from there. If not, and under some amazing circumstances she refuses to talk to you because you got a B on your last math exam, then I guess you'll have to look elsewhere.
 
  • #23
Chemistry professor to males students "Find the smartest girl you can and get her to marry you. You'll never be sorry."

The "smart" girl doesn't need a super brainy guy. She needs a guy who is perceptive, who appreciates her for who and what she is and with whom both will be better than they are separately. GO for it.
 
  • #24
if women declined to marry guys they are smarter than, there would be few marriages.
 
  • #25
mathwonk said:
if women declined to marry guys they are smarter than, there would be few marriages.

:approve::approve::approve:
 
  • #26
Once I pointed out to my wife how stupid she was and she said "I'm not half as stupid as you are." Well, she is my friends, and I let her know it too.
 
  • #27
My guess is that most successful relationships have each person at roughly the same intelligence.

I'm certainly not interested in women who are obviously less intelligent than I am.
Or who have a liberal arts degree.
I mean, at least not by the next morning.
 

1. What scientific evidence supports the idea that women are smarter than men?

There is no one single factor that determines intelligence, and thus it is not accurate to say that women are inherently smarter than men. However, research has shown that women tend to outperform men in certain areas, such as verbal and language skills, emotional intelligence, and memory. These differences can be attributed to a combination of biological, environmental, and social factors.

2. Are there any studies that suggest men are smarter than women?

Similar to the previous question, there is no definitive answer to this question. While men may outperform women in certain areas, such as spatial awareness and quantitative abilities, these differences are not significant enough to generalize that men are inherently smarter than women. Additionally, intelligence is a complex and multi-dimensional concept that cannot be accurately measured by one factor.

3. Can the concept of "women being smarter than men" be explained by societal gender roles and expectations?

Yes, societal expectations and gender roles can certainly play a role in shaping one's intelligence. From a young age, girls are often encouraged to excel in areas such as language, while boys are encouraged to excel in math and science. This can create a bias in which women may appear to be smarter because they are excelling in areas that are highly valued by society.

4. Is there a genetic basis for intelligence differences between men and women?

While there are certainly genetic factors that contribute to intelligence, there is no evidence to suggest that there is a genetic basis for intelligence differences between men and women. Studies have shown that the majority of differences in intelligence between men and women can be attributed to environmental and societal factors.

5. How can we promote equal opportunities for both men and women in terms of education and intelligence?

Promoting equal opportunities for both men and women starts with recognizing and addressing the societal and cultural biases that may exist. This can include providing equal access to education and resources, promoting diversity and inclusion in various fields, and challenging gender stereotypes and expectations. Additionally, it is important to acknowledge and celebrate the unique strengths and abilities of all individuals, regardless of their gender.

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