Exploring the Validity of the Age Formula in Romantic Relationships

[zychrono]

I'm just wondering does age really matter or is love the only that matters? :shy:

 

[FeDeX_LaTeX]

I think both are that matters.

 

[Charmar]

I say that both matter, because they matter to me, but as long as their isn't something grossly wrong, people should stick with what makes then happy, regardless of social norms.

 

[Drakkith]

I think age plays a very large factor in most relationships. There's a reason most 40 year olds aren't dating 20 year olds. Age isn't simply a number. It's a good way to judge someone before you get to know them. There's also things to think about such as having a child with someone drastically older or younger than yourself. Do you really want to start a family with someone who may die before the kids reach 20? (Perhaps an extreme example of an age mismatch, but you get my point I hope)

 

[zychrono]

Thanks for all your replies its really helped me.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Age isn't simply a number. It's a good way to judge someone before you get to know them.

How so? I'm trying to think of something solid and useful I can always tell about someone from knowing their age and I can't think of anything. Male, 57, could be anyone from me, to a wall street executive, to a homeless alcoholic.

 

[TheShrike]

I suppose age could give some indication of where the person is in their life with regard to maturity, health and career. Not that these things necessarily follow from their age - just a possible indication. Also, if they aren't at a certain point by a certain age range, it might indicate certain things about their personality that are (un)attractive.

Or maybe I'm completely wrong...

 

[DaveC426913]

Love is not the answer to everything. People can love each other yet still be incompatible, possibly even destructive.

Love is put to the test when deep life issues come up. A 25yo man falling in love with a 45yo woman may have his purpose jeopardized when he realizes he's always wanted kids - when he realizes his life won't be complete without kids.

A 40yo man with a heart condition falling in love with a 20yo woman may be in trouble if her life goals include mountain climbing or spending a year living in a hut in India.

Or when she is making enough money to live in a house and wants to have some comfort in life, while he is just getting started in medical school.

Age difference isn't a showstopper, but it raises the likelihood that their paths through life will be more incompatible than average.

 

[Lancelot59]

Age difference isn't a showstopper, but it raises the likelihood that their paths through life will be more incompatible than average.

I agree. It's all subjective given who you're dealing with. Although I did notice that now being in my 20's that I notice the age difference less between myself, and say someone in their early-mid 30's. I guess it just might be me getting old...

 

[George Jones]

I guess it just might be me getting old...

Yes, as one gets older, an absolute age gap gets smaller as a percentage.

For example, consider an absolute gap of 7 years. If the ages are 20 and 27, the 27-year-old is 35% older. Five years later, the age difference is 28%.

 

[DaveC426913]

Yes, as one gets older, an absolute age gap gets smaller as a percentage.

For example, consider an absolute gap of 7 years. If the ages are 20 and 27, the 27-year-old is 35% older. Five years later, the age difference is 28%.

Thus the basis of the age formula: x = 1/2y + 7.

14 = 14
16 = 15-17
18 = 16-22
20 = 17-26
24 = 19-34
30 = 22-46
etc.

 

[256bits]

Yes, as one gets older, an absolute age gap gets smaller as a percentage.

For example, consider an absolute gap of 7 years. If the ages are 20 and 27, the 27-year-old is 35% older. Five years later, the age difference is 28%.

So in how many years does it take for th younger one to catch up?
Age old question that is always posed to young kids.

 

[256bits]

Thus the basis of the age formula: x = 1/2y + 7.

14 = 14
16 = 15-17
18 = 16-22
20 = 17-26
24 = 19-34
30 = 22-46
etc.

So what's that?
What age categories are possibly compatable for dating or a relationship?
I find that interesting.

 

[DaveC426913]

So what's that?
What age categories are possibly compatable for dating or a relationship?
I find that interesting.

Inside the range is acceptable.
Outside the range is creepy.

 

[Evo]

Inside the range is acceptable.
Outside the range is creepy.

I couldn't disagree more. There is no formula.

 

[DaveC426913]

I couldn't disagree more. There is no formula.

Of course not. I merely put it forth as an optional mnemonic if one so chooses. It seems apropos.

 

[Skrew]

+/- 5 years at most.

 

[Lancelot59]

Depending on your age...

15 years -5 years...gets a little off.

We should write an age dependant delta function so that the acceptable deviation varies with age as well.

 

[Evo]

Depending on your age...

15 years -5 years...gets a little off.

We should write an age dependant delta function so that the acceptable deviation varies with age as well.

Right, if you are 50 and date someone 65 is that unreasonable? The older you get, the less age matters.

I would say that age differences really depend on many factors. At age 52 I was guessed to be 30 years old physically. Some people age better than others. Genetics, health, etc... all come into play for physical appearance. As for age difference other than physical looks, does anyone really take mental age into consideration?

As far as physical looks, I don't have facial wrinkles, I don't have "laugh or smile" wrinkles and I don't have "crows feet" around the eyes. Something people can get in their 20's. But I definitely don't look that young either.

 

[Lancelot59]

Right, if you are 50 and date someone 65 is that unreasonable? The older you get, the less age matters.

I would say that age differences really depend on many factors. At age 52 I was guessed to be 30 years old physically. Some people age better than others. Genetics, health, etc... all come into play for physical appearance. As for age difference other than physical looks, does anyone really take mental age into consideration?

As far as physical looks, I don't have facial wrinkles, I don't have "laugh or smile" wrinkles and I don't have "crows feet" around the eyes. Something people can get in their 20's.

My post was a little unclear. I meant to say that the +-5 years that Skrew posted isn't a good idea for all situations. Then citing the example if a 15 year old at the -5 year tolerance. That's why the tolerance needs to be adjusted over time if you're to make a formula for it.

The age difference you mention seems fine. As we've noted after a certain point the difference starts to matter less.

 

[DaveC426913]

Right, if you are 50 and date someone 65 is that unreasonable? The older you get, the less age matters.

If only there were some way ... some way of ... quantifying this concept!

:tongue2:

 

[dipole]

I've been dating a girl 11 years older than me (which is about 50% older than myself) for over a year now. Age has never once been an issue.

That being said, I'm a lot more mature than most people my age, and she doesn't necessarily act her own age (however people that age are supposed to act, but if I didn't know her real age I'd guess she was in college), and we get on really well together.

It's actually really nice for me, because I don't have a car or much money or my own place (I have two room mates) but she does so we travel lots together and I eat dinner with her often and we always have an apartment to ourselves when we want it. :shy:

Long term though I do think it will be a problem, and I think we both understand that even though we have a great time together and are happy now, it won't work in the long run. By the time I'm ready to have kids she'll be in her 40's, and when I'm in my 40's she'll be near menopause.

 

[Hercuflea]

+/- 15% of your age

 

[DaveC426913]

+/- 15% of your age

Wow really?
So a 30 year old should not date a 35 year old?
A 40 year old should not date a 47 year old?
A 50 year old should not date a 58 year old?

No, if there is a formula at all, it's going to be a multiplier plus a constant. That way, it keeps the age diff quite narrow at a young age, but broadens rapidly as the age goes up.

I have not been able to find any exceptions to the 1/2+7 formula.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

My wife was a good age when I married her, but that was a long time ago. We both try to stay young though. It's quite an effort at my age believe you me.

 

[arildno]

No one younger than 57 ought to date a centenarian.

 

[Drakkith]

No one younger than 57 ought to date a centenarian.

There goes my big date night!

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

There's my uncle who married at the age of 96 to a woman of 95. That marriage turned out to be a disaster, but the issue was how to raise the children, not because of the age difference, so I don't even know why I even brought that up. Then there's those arranged marriages where the affianced are toddlers. They don't marry till later though so I don't think it counts. There was that billionaire geezer that married the celebrity. That marriage didn't last long and when they read the will it turned out he only had 3 billion, not 4 billion, so she'd probably have been better off staying single. But what was probably on the OP's mind was relativity theory at 107 years old and quantum mechanics at 86. When are these two going to get married?

 

[Illuminerdi]

Thus the basis of the age formula: x = 1/2y + 7.

14 = 14
16 = 15-17
18 = 16-22
20 = 17-26
24 = 19-34
30 = 22-46
etc.

Actually, if the minimum is x = 1/2y + 7, then you could invert it for the maximum, assuming it's coming from the other person's minimum x=2(y-7) and now let's spreadsheet this

age min max
14 14 14
15 14.5 16
16 15 18
17 15.5 20
18 16 22
19 16.5 24
20 17 26
21 17.5 28
22 18 30
23 18.5 32
24 19 34
25 19.5 36
26 20 38
27 20.5 40
28 21 42
29 21.5 44
30 22 46
31 22.5 48
32 23 50
33 23.5 52
34 24 54
35 24.5 56


But, really, the conclusion you SHOULD draw is that no one should give a damn if you're both consenting adults. Do you really think a mathematical formula can tell you anything about relationships? I'm pretty a few high profile mathematicians believed they could do this with "affinities" like used in chemistry, but that's a crazy notion.