What falling in love feels like to you

In summary, the conversation revolves around the topic of love and its various aspects and effects on people. Different perspectives and experiences are shared, ranging from the initial attraction and infatuation to the more stable and lasting platonic relationships. Despite the ups and downs of being in love, it is still seen as a cherished and complex emotion that can bring both joy and pain.
  • #141
In response to someone who said that love was a delusion: This is ontologically meaningless. In order for love to be a delusion, it would have to contain some kind of statement about observable reality that could be falsified. While love can lead to delusions, it makes no sense to say that it is in and of itself a delusion. It is a subjective emotional experience, and as such is as real as the person experiencing it believes it to be. The fact that it is the result of physical states of the brain should not come as a surprise, nor does it have anything to do with its reality. All experiences are emergent properties of the brain in some sense. The only things that can be delusions are statements that can reference something outside of one's own experience.

This reminds me of something I was trying to explain to a friend of mine who has some pretty bizarre beliefs. He long held a belief that he was the "smartest man man in the world" because he had realized that his goal, and everyone else's, was to be happy. He would hold that he was much smarter then people who has more knowledge, more technical skill, or a larger world view, because they wasted time with things (such as acquiring knowledge) that while they were doing them did not result in them being happy. He would challenge me saying something to the effect of "I don't think you agree with my idea that I am the smartest man in the world, and how could you not?"
I would respond by saying that I simply couldn't agree or disagree, because he hadn't defined "smartness" in a meaningful way. Under his definition, smartness related to the ability of one to experience happiness as much as possible. Since "happiness" as he was defining it was not quantifiable, it was not meaningful to contend that his assertion.
I would say that to the extent I disagreed, i was using a different definition of "smartness" and "happiness' then he was. He would argue that these were false definitions, and his was clearly the true definition (In other words, accepting any other definition of "happiness" lead to one not being happy as much as possible, and thus was an indicator of lack of "smartness.") I explained, with some difficulty, the concept of a tautology to him, and then came the true genius stroke of his philosophy. He reasoned that since his tautological reasoning lead to a "true" statement that he was the happiest human being, and thus the smartest, and my inability to accept tautological reasoning resulted in me not being the happiest human being, he was happier and therefore smarter.The point of that story is that it is useless to apply the categories of truth to ill-defined subjective emotional states.
 
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  • #142
Edin_Dzeko said:
there's no reaching through to cron. Guy has let "the game" get to his head :tongue:
he liked her, she turned him down and it's only natural that he now holds that view of her. Like a guy going out with a girl and it doesn't work and he hates her or starts to hold a bad view of her. ex, "she's a b***"


Note: This is not meant to be a personal commentary on anyone specific, just a commentary based on observations from sources that sell a "game philosophy" to dating.



I think this "game" nonsense is such a predatory piece of modern culture. People who sell their "game" strategies prey on people who have difficulty with relationships. They make them think their desire for a real relationship is a weakness, and that to succeed they need to abandon such notions and become psychologically manipulative. While this *may* help them with getting laid, it will not result in a successful relationship, only one that is based on dishonesty and manipulation.
Oftentimes the advice is valid but for the wrong reasons. For example, if you meet someone, and genuinely do make an amazing connection with them, there's nothing wrong with calling them the next day. The reason calling someone the next day is usually not a good idea is because amazing connections are exceedingly rare, and casual encounters are just that, casual encounters. People come off as desperate and needy often because they are, in fact, desperate and needy. Instead of taking a hard look at themselves, they take the easy way out, pretending to be something they're not.
It's akin to "miracle tonics" that would "cure" diseases by being mostly opium.
 
  • #143
Galteeth said:
Note: This is not meant to be a personal commentary on anyone specific, just a commentary based on observations from sources that sell a "game philosophy" to dating.



I think this "game" nonsense is such a predatory piece of modern culture. People who sell their "game" strategies prey on people who have difficulty with relationships. They make them think their desire for a real relationship is a weakness, and that to succeed they need to abandon such notions and become psychologically manipulative. While this *may* help them with getting laid, it will not result in a successful relationship, only one that is based on dishonesty and manipulation.
Oftentimes the advice is valid but for the wrong reasons. For example, if you meet someone, and genuinely do make an amazing connection with them, there's nothing wrong with calling them the next day. The reason calling someone the next day is usually not a good idea is because amazing connections are exceedingly rare, and casual encounters are just that, casual encounters. People come off as desperate and needy often because they are, in fact, desperate and needy. Instead of taking a hard look at themselves, they take the easy way out, pretending to be something they're not.
It's akin to "miracle tonics" that would "cure" diseases by being mostly opium.

I recently got brain washed by that and now I'm trying to repair my life and get back to good ol Mr. Niceguy :redface:
 
  • #144
Galteeth, I don't know whether to laugh or be sad at everything you've typed up thus far. The ramblings on the delusions are just that, your opinions that do not actually refute or repudiate any claims. It is an attempt at philosophy, but without actual arguments and facts its just palaver. The 'game' works. What is a 'successful' relationship in your mind? The objective is to get laid, period. It is not about getting to know the woman on a personal level - that is what friendship is for.

I am weary of talking on the matter. It just bores me now. Good night and good luck.
 
  • #145
cronxeh said:
Galteeth, I don't know whether to laugh or be sad at everything you've typed up thus far. The ramblings on the delusions are just that, your opinions that do not actually refute or repudiate any claims. It is an attempt at philosophy, but without actual arguments and facts its just palaver. The 'game' works. What is a 'successful' relationship in your mind? The objective is to get laid, period. It is not about getting to know the woman on a personal level - that is what friendship is for.

I am weary of talking on the matter. It just bores me now. Good night and good luck.

that's where you're wrong. You can screw as many women as you want but eventually you'll get bored and tired of that lifestyle and want something "real". Someone you can call the next day, and see...AGAIN! Someone to share life with. You want to live life by following your "jimmy" what happens when your "jimmy" stops working 'cept for urinating?? What then?? There's more to life ESPECIALLY women than just "screwing". "screwing"'s such a nice experience made to be shared by two people why not someone "special"?? I'm done with that lifestyle. Sure I might be unfortunate and get a share of broken hearts and feeling lonely but in the end it'll be worth it when I get that "one"
 
  • #146
cronxeh said:
The objective is to get laid, period.

In that case, why not just solicit prostitutes? It's far more efficient.
 
  • #147
Edin_Dzeko said:
that's where you're wrong. You can screw as many women as you want but eventually you'll get bored and tired of that lifestyle and want something "real". Someone you can call the next day, and see...AGAIN! Someone to share life with. You want to live life by following your "jimmy" what happens when your "jimmy" stops working 'cept for urinating?? What then?? There's more to life ESPECIALLY women than just "screwing". "screwing"'s such a nice experience made to be shared by two people why not someone "special"?? I'm done with that lifestyle. Sure I might be unfortunate and get a share of broken hearts and feeling lonely but in the end it'll be worth it when I get that "one"

All relationships eventually end. You can either search your whole life for that perfect one just to have her leave or depart eventually, or you can live in the moment. Living in the moment, whether being with one particular person or being alone is no different than being with multiple women who don't particularly want to be 'tied down' or settle. You simply don't get the perfect relationship, but rather a collage of little surprises and happy moments. If you are fortunate enough to be in love with a girl who is in love with you, then you should cherish it, stick to it, and give it your all. Its only when you've given it your all and failed, that you can truly learn the meaning of life.
 
  • #148
cronxeh said:
All relationships eventually end. You can either search your whole life for that perfect one just to have her leave or depart eventually, or you can live in the moment. Living in the moment, whether being with one particular person or being alone is no different than being with multiple women who don't particularly want to be 'tied down' or settle. You simply don't get the perfect relationship, but rather a collage of little surprises and happy moments. If you are fortunate enough to be in love with a girl who is in love with you, then you should cherish it, stick to it, and give it your all.
A long term relation is a chain of negotiation and compromises. Some will work, others will be barely functional, others will fail. Not all relationships end, I seen a small number of ppl who are happy and still together after a lifetime.

cronxeh said:
Its only when you've given it your all and failed, that you can truly learn the meaning of life.

You live. It should be enough. Why do so many humans believe there must be a "meaning" to their existence ? Shut up an calculate :devil:
 
  • #149
DanP said:
A long term relation is a chain of negotiation and compromises. Some will work, others will be barely functional, others will fail. Not all relationships end, I seen a small number of ppl who are happy and still together after a lifetime.



You live. It should be enough. Why do so many humans believe there must be a "meaning" to their existence ? Shut up an calculate :devil:

Negative on both. All relationships end in one of several ways: either one of the partners dies or you separate. There is a meaning in existence in that you are born to die, you never get a linear response for your actions, and it is the most exciting and rewarding to be in love. The meaning is to suffer through the delusion of being happy, meanwhile setting yourself up for the real misery in the process.

The more you live the older you get, the more you confess love - the farther the other partner drifts away (gets bored of hearing it, or just revolts in fear), the more you try - the harder you fail, the more you speak - the more opposing views surface. I can go on but this is the hilarious part - the more I describe the more someone will disagree :biggrin:
 
  • #150
cronxeh said:
Negative on both. All relationships end in one of several ways: either one of the partners dies or you separate. There is a meaning in existence in that you are born to die, you never get a linear response for your actions, and it is the most exciting and rewarding to be in love. The meaning is to suffer through the delusion of being happy, meanwhile setting yourself up for the real misery in the process.

Martyrdom philosophy ? Just live Cron. Whatever that chick did to you, in time you'll forget it all :P

cronxeh said:
The more you live the older you get, the more you confess love - the farther the other partner drifts away (gets bored of hearing it, or just revolts in fear), the more you try - the harder you fail, the more you speak - the more opposing views surface. I can go on but this is the hilarious part - the more I describe the more someone will disagree :biggrin:

Sure Cron, if you bat her head everyday with your opinions and your love and whatever else, you'll just suffocate her :P Recall the basic law of interpersonal relationships ? Affection must be reciprocated always in the right amount. What about trying what I said, negotiations (you know, that process where both parts speak, not only one :P ), instead of hammering your feelings and your needs into her ?

And another basic truth is that you can love her, you can respect her, you could do everything for her, and she just might not care. Because she doesn't want all those things from you, she wants them from another man. And there is squat you can do about it.

Too often I heard "I would do so much for him//her,and he/she doesn't care". I think this is what you mean with "liner response". Just recognize that she doesn't want you, she wants another one, and move away. There is no need for "unhappiness is the most cool thing in love". It is not.
 
  • #151
DanP said:
Martyrdom philosophy ? Just live Cron. Whatever that chick did to you, in time you'll forget it all :P

And another basic truth is that you can love her, you can respect her, you could do everything for her, and she just might not care. Because she doesn't want all those things from you, she wants them from another man. And there is squat you can do about it.

Too often I heard "I would do so much for him//her,and he/she doesn't care". I think this is what you mean with "liner response". Just recognize that she doesn't want you, she wants another one, and move away. There is no need for "unhappiness is the most cool thing in love". It is not.

Hey its not about any particular person for me. And how is this about me, again? I never hammer anything into anyone, if anything I am a minimalist on the outside, its the inside of my mind that is a brewing caldron of passion. I don't chase after them, I let the dance of life take its course. You give, you take it back, its all a spiral.

Like you said, linear response is what its all about. Another guy could put a fraction of the effort and do the exact same things and get an amplified response. Life is non-linear, hilarious and ironic, and all relationships end. Friendships, parents, coworkers, partners, bf/gf, spouses. Both interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships end. Heck, even your relationship with your body eventually ends and it fails on you.
 
  • #152
cronxeh said:
Hey its not about any particular person for me. And how is this about me, again? I never hammer anything into anyone, if anything I am a minimalist on the outside, its the inside of my mind that is a brewing caldron of passion. I don't chase after them, I let the dance of life take its course. You give, you take it back, its all a spiral.

Like you said, linear response is what its all about. Another guy could put a fraction of the effort and do the exact same things and get an amplified response. Life is non-linear, hilarious and ironic, and all relationships end. Friendships, parents, coworkers, partners, bf/gf, spouses. Both interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships end. Heck, even your relationship with your body eventually ends and it fails on you.
Getting a little eastern? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sa%E1%B9%83s%C4%81ra_(Buddhism [Broken])
 
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  • #153
Galteeth said:
Getting a little eastern?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samsara_(Buddhism [Broken])

I hope not. All their talk about suffering and assumptions they make from everyday, disconnected objects that have no meaning to the original argument just make me think that Buddhism is yet another form of delusional rhetoric that clouds the mind from clarity.

To me, life is all about pleasure. Its like a long island iced tea. Part epicurean, part absurdism, part chaos theory, and vodka. Occasionally I like some mint leaves like Salvia divinorum in my long island iced tea
 
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  • #154
Just when you hit a rock bottom, a woman comes along in your life, and you realize you can sink much, much lower
 
  • #155
On the other hand,

I was listening to an interview with Hal Holbrook about a recent movie he made. In the movie, there are segments cut in where Holbrook is seen holding hands, hugging, playing or dancing with Dixie Carter, his real wife. When asked how that acted those scenes, Holbrook responded that it wasn't acting, it was Holbrook and Carter having fun and loving - loving the other's presence.

That's what loving is about. Long after the exhiliration or infatuation wears off or subsides, there is just a steady feeling that one carries inside. It's a bit like gratitude or gratefulness - grateful for the other's presence - cherishing the other's presence in one's life. And really comes out when one's partner faces a life threatening illness, and for while, one doesn't know if one will lose one's partner or not.

Dixie Carter died April 10, 2010 from cancer. She and Holbrook were married for 26 years.
http://www.dixiecarter.com/home.html

I'm sure he misses her very much. :frown:
 
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  • #156
Indeed, love is more than a physical pairing, but lives intertwining.

Contrariwise, in my experience, the betrayer of love is promiscuity.
 
  • #157
AHH! i hate love... It just messes up ur life :)
 
  • #158
Like the song says "Love Stinks".
 
  • #159
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-"Friedrich Nietzsche" as quoted by Matt Groening
 
  • #160
I love love :) its the best high!... hm maybe not the best, achieving something amazing would be the best, but it is one of the best ones.
 
  • #161
Galteeth said:
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-"Friedrich Nietzsche" as quoted by Matt Groening

Evo said:
Like the song says "Love Stinks".

You're just jealous you couldn't describe love as well as Galteeth. :rofl:



Wait! Wasn't that your signature for a while?
 
  • #162
Falling in love feels like accidentally sitting on a small bag of Wise Vinegar and Onion potato chips and popping it. There's nothing like it.
 
  • #163
Feels like being addicted to crack.
 
  • #164
When the time is right -

How to make your spouse happy (adapted from an extract from the 1877 Almanac)

  • Never speak slightingly of or to your spouse in the presence of other people (or any other time).
  • Treat your spouse as politely and kindly as when you were wooing him or her.
  • Do not neglect neatness of person and surroundings.
  • Do not speak lightly of his or her cares and fatigues, but sympathize with his or her troubles.
  • Share your pleasures and cares, and show that you value her or his society and advice.
  • Speak gently always, and do not allow your voice to become sharp and loud.
Their favorite saying: "For a happy marriage, never speak loudly to one another unless the house is on fire."
 
  • #165
Astronuc said:
Their favorite saying: "For a happy marriage, never speak loudly to one another unless the house is on fire."

...or you might get burned.
 
  • #166
Evo said:
I'm through with love. I'm just looking for someone that can tolerate me.

Also, my older daughter "spawn" who's birthday is also today, reminded me she gave me the fruitbat and that's all the love I need in life. :frown:

I reminded her that he's a little dog and might only have another 8 years to live. She assured me I'd die first, so won't have to worry about it. She always knows how to cheer me up. :uhh:

:rofl: your daughter is da best! FTW
 
  • #167
It's like going 80mph on a jet ski. It seems like a good idea, until you fall off.
 
  • #168
Let's call it what it is-lust/the reptillian creative urge eminating from deep in the subconscious. We just call it love. Craving for that indescribable pleasure of the orgasm, for that beautiful creature that you can own and who will add to your "self". (that's why it tears you up when you loose it). But love for me came after years of living with her and learning to appreciate her companionship, her caring for me, learning to understand and accept her imperfections. Now when I say I love you I really mean it and not a disguise for I want, I need to own you.
 
  • #169
love was nothing, till i lost it. everything i find now is not it. to me love is a memory
 
  • #170
For me? Stability, for lack of a better word.

I've been in a steady, live-in relationship for almost two years by now. There's something to be said to be able to come home to a girl who loves me and a dinner waiting; someone who I can at least expect to care for my feelings and accept me for who I am. Our relationship might not have begun as normally as many, but there is something in the steadiness that makes both her and myself extremely happy.

I think a good deal of tolerance, communication and understanding is the ultimate secret. I can't exactly deny that my initial reasons for wanting her were primarily sexual and controlling, and her initial motivator was to be rescued; over time, though, my mutual desire to see each other happy readjusted us into something genuinely healthy for both of us. This has required concession and negotiation from both of us, but it helped that neither of us never ever seriously considered splitting as an option.
 
  • #171
no love no tention...i have decided to live forever so far so good.....
 
  • #172
Love is very tricky for me. I can have that feeling for a girl (which you call love) one day, but if that girl doesn't want anything with me, I can stop having that feeling the next day. I just have to think about her defects and voila, I don't love her anymore.

I'm not even sure that if it's love or not, when I have that feeling. Yeah, love is not a sea of roses for me... *smokes cigarette*
 
  • #173
The more emotional investment in a person, the more potential for intense love toward them.
 
  • #174
Love is ineffable in different ways, most times.
 
  • #175
One doesn't "fall" in love. This whole, I got struck by Cupid's arrow is just fictitious stuff for children. Love is a decision and NOT a feeling.
 
<h2>1. What are the physical sensations you experience when falling in love?</h2><p>When falling in love, you may experience an increased heart rate, butterflies in your stomach, flushed cheeks, and a feeling of warmth or tingling in your body. These physical sensations are caused by a release of hormones such as adrenaline and oxytocin.</p><h2>2. How does falling in love affect your brain?</h2><p>Falling in love can activate the reward centers of your brain, leading to feelings of pleasure and happiness. It can also decrease activity in the amygdala, which is responsible for fear and anxiety, leading to a sense of calm and security.</p><h2>3. Can you describe the emotional aspects of falling in love?</h2><p>Falling in love can bring about a wide range of emotions, including excitement, joy, happiness, and even fear. You may also feel a strong sense of connection and attachment to the person you are falling in love with.</p><h2>4. How does falling in love impact your behavior?</h2><p>When falling in love, you may find yourself wanting to spend more time with the person you love, and may even prioritize their needs and desires over your own. You may also feel more motivated and energized to do things that make your partner happy.</p><h2>5. Is there a difference between falling in love and being in love?</h2><p>Yes, falling in love is often described as the initial stage of a romantic relationship, where strong feelings of attraction and infatuation are present. Being in love, on the other hand, is a deeper and more stable emotional state that comes with time and involves a strong bond and commitment to the other person.</p>

1. What are the physical sensations you experience when falling in love?

When falling in love, you may experience an increased heart rate, butterflies in your stomach, flushed cheeks, and a feeling of warmth or tingling in your body. These physical sensations are caused by a release of hormones such as adrenaline and oxytocin.

2. How does falling in love affect your brain?

Falling in love can activate the reward centers of your brain, leading to feelings of pleasure and happiness. It can also decrease activity in the amygdala, which is responsible for fear and anxiety, leading to a sense of calm and security.

3. Can you describe the emotional aspects of falling in love?

Falling in love can bring about a wide range of emotions, including excitement, joy, happiness, and even fear. You may also feel a strong sense of connection and attachment to the person you are falling in love with.

4. How does falling in love impact your behavior?

When falling in love, you may find yourself wanting to spend more time with the person you love, and may even prioritize their needs and desires over your own. You may also feel more motivated and energized to do things that make your partner happy.

5. Is there a difference between falling in love and being in love?

Yes, falling in love is often described as the initial stage of a romantic relationship, where strong feelings of attraction and infatuation are present. Being in love, on the other hand, is a deeper and more stable emotional state that comes with time and involves a strong bond and commitment to the other person.

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